Varna felt uneasy from inside.As if she will throw up everything.Her face was tear striken.Eyes calm yet full of pain.She didnt knew why after this long.This day turned out so miserable.It still pains.It does.

She looked at her dishievel state in mirror.Broke down in sobs.When she thought things will be better.In her life.It starts getting worse.She came out of rest room washing her face.Opened her cup board.Where few precious things of her life.Which belonged to her.Those moments and people.Wish she could turn back time.Tear rolled down her eye.There was picture of her and Ramya.From childhood.They were sitting in bicycle.She touched picture shedding tears.Few moments from her life.She still have them to cherish as memories.It was when she froze.

Her eyes caught that part of memory.She wishes it never happened.It was her and Shakthis engagement picture.Vivaan and Ramya were also there.Everyone had smile on face.Who knew at that time.Life would not be same never.Mere touch on that picture made her shiver.Same thoughts started running on her mind.If it had happened.Her life would have been different too.Her and Shakthis relationship.Wasnt there anything.She tried her best.Why did he do that.Didnt she deserve this much love in life.She went to tears again.Remembering this morning.Which evoked her old wounds.

It was busy morning for everyone unlike other days.Varna was in kitchen making coffee.No one was at house today except her and Lata.She heard doorbell.Signing on receipt she frowned at parcel that just got delivered.On her name.She closed door and went to room with her coffee.The name of person who sent wasnt mentioned.It felt weird to her.As she opened wave of emotions hit her.There were pictures of her taken way before.As she assumed during her and Shakthis relationship phase.She looked at her own pictures.Astonished to find herself lost in some world.When Shakthi must have taken them.Then came few pictures of her and Ramya too.Lump formed in her throat.She found few things.Which she remembered giving to Shakthi as gifts.She controlled her tears and found note along with those things.

Im sorry Varna.Im apologizing for my act first.Because I know it will hurt you.Knowing how sensitive you have become towards our past.A past which had nothing.And which meant nothing.Varna me and my family are leaving India.So before that I wanted to finish off few things.I have already started my new life.Never felt this much bliss.But you will always be part of my life.I want you to be in my memory.Thats why Im sending you these pictures.I have taken of yours.Not informing you sometimes.I never thought of giving them to you because.I thought you wont like that.But today I had this thought.I should return to you whatever belonged to you.This shall also be something which will remind you.Some Shakthi was part of your life.As good friend.Now if its about gifts which you gave me.Dont take it to heart Varna.Its best to not keep any memory with you of those things.Which may make you weak in time.I have moved on in life.Im happy with my wife and son.I want you to do same.Thats why its important.We both let go of what belonged to each other.At certain point in life.I dont know you gave me these gifts.Out of what emotion.I had them with me and now.I think their right place is with you.In life everything returns to its right place.I believe on that.Thats how we are with right partners now certainly.Varna I.I know what happened between us wasnt something which you will.Remember as something good.Our relationship was unexplainable.But I can only assure you.I understand you and I know one day.You will get that.Be happy Varna because you deserve happiness.I dont have any complaints from you.I wish you love.In life and returning you these things with hope that.Same old Varna Shetty with lively spirit will come back.You are very strong girl Varna.But you need someone as strong as Vivaan to give you deserving love.Support in life.I will never forget you even if I try to.Good luck to both of you.Best wishes - Shakthi

V- "Why is it always You.In this relationship Varna?Answer me."

He saw her standing like statue.Still not bothered to answer.He got more angry.Catching her from shoulders tightly.She didnt show but.It was on her face it pained her.He made her look at him.Getting close.Varna raised her eyes.Seeing fire in his ones.Till now he thought she have crossed all phase.Of insecurities and her past relationship.All these days his efforts failed.She is still target to her past.It breaks her even now.Last thing he wished to see her.Like this when he came back from work.Broken and lost in her dreadful memories.Pictures of her and Shakthi scattered and she was sitting.Weeping at her fate.He hated to feel existence of someone else between them now.Even if Shakthi meant nothing.But he meant to him.Developing unknown hatred or insecurity towards him.Seeing her like this made him lose his temper.He whispered to her in hoarse voice.

V-"Im tired of giving you.Upper hand in this.You have to consider me now."

Var-"I never asked you for anything.Time and again told you.I dont expect anything from anyone.It means nothing."

V-"To hell with your nothing.Do you hear me?"

He pulled her harshly.Slowly she felt she was losing herself.In his hold.She could see helplessness in his face.For how long she have been.Giving him hard time.Deep down she knew.She understood everything.She looked at him mum.Without speaking word.It made him more harsh towards her.He pressed her more.She shut her eyes.

V-"Dont test my patience.Im fed up of this."

Var-"You are always free to be out of this.You are not bound to stand me."

He gave sarcastic smile.Left her abruptly.He caught his head massaging his temples.She stood there.Lost in her world.Her eyes dried up with tears.They didnt knew.Where this was heading to.He sat on one side of bed.Saw her still standing in same place.

V-"I thought you are learning to live.You have accepted your present.You are part of this family.People here are your own.Every time something convince me.We are over that phase.You ruin it all.Your past is devastating your present and future.When will you understand that.Or you dont want to understand it.Be it at any cost?Your husband,your son.Your family.Im fed up of your bloody past.Which meant nothing."

Var-"Why do you all say same thing.How will you understand.What meant to me in any case.You dont have any right.To say that it never meant anything to me.It did.I know that because I suffered alone.Whatever happened with me.You cant understand that and he cant.I do."

V-"What happened to you?Tell me.Do you even understand what losing someone from life means.Did you ever love that person.So much that you are repenting till now.Have you seen him taking last breath.In front of your eyes who meant world to you.Whom you loved insanely?You didnt.You never loved Shakthi.Accept this bloody truth and move on Varna."

Var-"You think only your love was real.Mine was nothing."

V-"Yes because it was never love.That relationship was based on your.Pretence to show world that you can also live life.How others do.You wanted your family to believe you are happy.You were never.You were never happy with Shakthi.Even if you would have married him.It would have ruined his and your life.Better he was saved."

Var-"Saved.What did you say?"

V-"Yes he is saved.Girl like you can never love.Never trust on relationship.Still now you blame him.When fault was yours.You betrayed him for long.Kept him in dark that you loved him.Wanted to be part of this relationship.When your heart belonged to someone else.Your mind was occupied somewhere else.You cheated on him Varna.And now when he is happy with his wife.You are trying to ruin his happiness.Cursing him every time."

His words pierced her heart.But she wouldnt take all blame.When she wasnt at fault.She rubbed her tears.Rushed to him holding his collars.Fiercely pulling him that it broke his shirt buttons.Vivaan saw her and he held it back.He was burning from inside.She seethed in anger.How can he blame her.

Var-"If Im this bad.Selfish then why dont you leave me.Free me from this so called relationship.Why dont you.Answer me."

V-"Because you are my wife.And I have repeatedly told you same thing.I wont you to run away from me.Or life this time.You admit it or not you are part of this marriage."

Var-"Marriage.What does marriage mean.What we have been living till now.When did we ever behaved.Like husband wife.You married me because your son.Needed me.You hated to see my face.Whats reason you still.Want me to be with you.In your life.Arent you selfish then."

V-"You still couldnt understand this simple thing.If I married you for Pranush.Which was true.But I would have set you free long back.You can remember these nonsense things.On your head but you cant get this simple thing.I want you in life.As my wife.I want you to give chance to this marriage.Because I love you."

Var-"You dont.No one loves me.You never did."

V-"I never did.Now I do.From time I realized.I have been cursing my fate.Why all those things ever happened to me.Varna I dont regret meeting Ramya.Marrying her or living blissful life with her.She will always be.Precious part of my life but.I understand one thing.I cant live without you.I dont know if I sound selfish.I may or may not.I need you in my life.I want to breathe with you.Start my every day seeing you.End my day with you.I want to spend my life with you.For that Im ready to be called selfish."

Var-"Its all lies.I dont want to.Please."

V-"You have to Varna.You still think everything belongs to Ramya.When truth is that in time.You have made yourself part of this house.People who love you here.You are my wife.Pranush mother.I belong to you.You know what.In all these days.Have you ever seen me crying over my past.Trying to make you feel unwanted ever.I have been trying Varna.To make you believe.You do matter to me.I have forgotten Ramyas existence affect my life.To make you feel secure.I didnt keep anything that belonged to Ramya.In this room just to.Make you believe that I want to live my present now.With you.But what do you do?Every single time.Insult me.My decisions and my feelings.You go overboard.Show how your emotions matter and my dont.I never brought Ramya between us.But you bring Shakthi every time.It doesnt make me feel good.At all.I can swear on that."

His eyes were read.With aggression and hurt.Her hold loosened on him.But he touched her hands.He pressed his fingers.On her cheeks.Made her look at him.She knew she will lose herself if he makes her.Do that what he was doing.She had her eyes closed.

V-"Stop lying to yourself Varna.For how long will this continue.Im not able to bear this anymore.Say it.Say what your heart feels.For me.For us."

Var-"Nothing.It has stopped feeling long ago."

V-"Its bloody lie.I can read your eyes.Feel your heart.You feel for me.Just admit it."

Var-"I dont.I dont feel anything."

V-"Then look at me and say that.Why are you scared to face your so called truth."

She opened her eyes.Before she could burst into tears.With his force on her cheeks pressuring her.more than that their closeness.Breaking her slowly.Vivaan was in tears too.The moment became fragile.Making two lost souls more closer.Ending gap between them Vivaan pressed his head on hers.While she continued to shed tears.He felt moment and her giving up.He knew she feels for them.Whatever they share.Her past experience stopping her to confess.

V-"I will not break you for worse Varna.Cross my heart.I love you."

Var-"I dont.I hate you.I hate you Vivaan Reddy.I hate you."

V-"I love you.I know you love me.Say it."

Var-"I hate you.I.I hate you."

V-"I love you."

Var-"I.I."

He couldnt give her more time.Breaking control and pulling her face fiercely he joined their lips.Sealing it with possession that she belongs to him.He smiled through kiss as he felt.Her not trying to take herself back.She was lost in some deep emotions.In moment he kissed her.Slowly and passionately.Pouring out wait and pain.Promising her life full of togetherness and love.He tried to deepen kiss and waiting for her.Giving him path to enter.But Varnas shock brought her down back.She opened her eyes finding herself caught in web.She broke kiss.Her heartbeats racing.Both tried to catch breathe.Vivaan was about to touch her.When she stepped back.Her face was red.She didnt knew how to react.She was kissing him.How could she.She caught her head.Vivaan wanted to let her know.He was there and it happened.Lapse of moment.She started screaming and fell down.He bent to her level.Touching her head.

V-"Look at me Varna.Its alright."

Var-"No.How can I.Even think of."

Before he could make her understand.She rushed to washroom and closed door.Vivaan knew this was going.Somewhere else again.But he wont let it go this time.He went to door and banged it calling for her.

V-"Varna you cant shut yourself like this.Open door.Right now."

Same moment flashed in front of her eyes.Varna for first time was disappointed with herself.How could she let it happen.She touched knob of shower.As water run down her body.She burst into tears.Trying to clear his touch from her.She wanted to rub it off.From her lips.Again she did same.With her hands and lips.she broke down completely sitting.Hugging her knees with support of wall.As she shut her eyes.Image of her kissing him came.Next moment she could see Ramyas face.

Var-"Im sorry Ramya.Im sorry."

Vivaan had enough.He knew he cant trust this girl with anything.She was in state to take any risk.But he wasnt.He break opened door without any thoughts.Finding her in numb state.Sitting under shower.Water was pouring on her.She was shivering.His heart went out.Seeing her like this.He went to her turning off knob of shower.Picked her up in his arms.She was too weak to react.He took her out in room.Carefully placing her on bed.He went to take towel.When he came back he could her her mumbling.

Var-"Im sorry Ramya.Please forgive me.Im sorry."

He felt bad for doing this to her.As he rubbed her wet hair.He thought its better she goes through all this now.Someday or other she has to accept truth.She cant do this to her life anymore.He made her head rest on pillow.Touching her forehead.He felt her burning with fever.She opened her eyes.Couldnt see him clearly but hazy.He caught her hand.Seeing her lips moving.

Var-"Please leave me.I dont want to.Ramya."

He felt her hand cold.Before she fainted.He rubbed it to give her some warmth but it wasnt of any use.It was late and at this hour.He couldnt even wake anyone.They will be tensed seeing Varnas state.Then his eyes went to her.Her clothes were wet.They had to be changed as she might be in danger.With having such high fever.He knew this wasnt right but in some part of his heart.He felt he was doing right.He had to without any choice.He took our fresh pair of her shirt and pajama.Switched off lights and saw her pale face.He placed light kiss on her head.Whispering to her.

V-"You will be fine Varna.I wont let anything happen to you."

Nandini was checking Varna.Vivaan stood there looking stressed.He was still in his office wear.He didnt knew at this hour.What he would have done.To his luck as he went out to think of way.Nandini also came down to drink water.He didnt give her any cue except.That if she could check on Varna.

V-"Nandu is she fine.I mean do we have to hospitalize her."

N-"Anna relax.She is having high fever.I guess because of cold allergy.Saw her sneezing many times.She is allergic to water in winter.Looks like she took shower late.This girl."

Vivaan was relieved.He was thinking what story to make up to Nandini.But they were saved for night it seems.She wrote down some medicines.Smiling at him and before leaving room.She frowned and looked at Varna again.

N-"Luckily this injection was with me.So I gave it to her.Fever will come down.When she wakes up give her these medicines.Lets see how she feels in morning."

V-"Thanks Nandu.Sorry troubled you at this hour.Didnt knew what to do."

N-"Now you will thank me.Do that later.When she wakes up tomorrow and feels alright."

V-"I trust you.As doctor fully."

N-"Good night and do let me know.If theres anything."

Nandini came back to her room and found her husband.In deep sleep.Whatever happens in world he loves.His beauty sleep.She was thinking about Vivaan and Varna.Though it was normal to have fever.But she felt something was weird.Vivaan looked tensed.Varnas state also didnt looked normal to her.

On other hand Vivaan was wide awake.He cant think of sleeping.Lot of things was going on his head.He settled on bed beside her.Looking at her pale face.Luckily Pranush was with Lata for night.Else how he would have handled things.He pressed his temples.And then found her moaning in sleep.He only wished to lessen her pain.If he could.Massaging her head slowly.He took her hand in his.Placed light kiss there.She was in pain.He could sense that.Her body was burning hot.He got inside blanket.Trying to keep her warm.Within seconds he found her snuggling to him.He shut his eyes.Absorbing moment and keeping on mind.He has to be in limit.She held on to him for support.To get some relief.Though she was not in her senses.He wrapped his arms around her.As she rested her head on his chest.He pecked her head.Rubbing her and whispering to her nothing.But promises that he will keep her safe.

Varna felt her throat dry.Morning rays was disturbing her eyes.She tried opening them.Body ache and weakness made her feel uneasy.She moved inside blanket.She realized she was not well.She checked around surroundings.It was morning and she knew she had fever.As she got up slowly with difficulty.She coughed bit and touched her hair.Felt cold to her.But why.She frowned and tried to recollect what happened last night.Slowly she remembered.Caught her head.It was paining.Next she felt confused seeing herself in her night wear.When did she changed her clothes.Door opened and she saw him entering.With her breakfast.He was still in last days clothes.

He came to her and placed tray on bed.Could see her eyes piercing him.But he knew what to do.She sneezed twice.While he stared at her.She felt awkward.As if things werent enough last night.But how did she ended up on bed.Her eyes went to clock.It was 10 and already so late.she was about to shove off blanket when he stopped her.

V-"Dont even think of going anywhere.You are not even in state to stand.Have breakfast.Then these medicines."

Varna was varna.Was she ever going to listen to anyone.Not Vivaan.He shake his head at her stubbornness.As she tried to get up but failed.He caught her on time.From losing balance.Why was she so weak suddenly.He helped her to settle on bed.She was still running fever.He thought to inform Nandini.

V-"Dont know why you have to be this much stubborn always.You arent moving anywhere for day.Already fever is not down.Have breakfast properly."

Var-"Pranu."

V-"He is good.Mom and Aththai will handle him.Rest of work too.You take rest."

She didnt have heart to eat anything.Felt like throwing up.But his glare didnt allow her to say word.He was assured to see her eating.Went to take shower.

Nandini was doing Varnas check up.But she could see her pouting.At little one who was fussy in his fathers lap.Vivaan had hard time handling Pranush.From last night he was away from Varna.If that wasnt enough in morning also.He didnt find her with him.This was enough to make him cry and angry.After failing in all attempts to pacify him.Vivaan had to get him here.

N-"Fever is bit low now.But not fully gone.You will be fine if you take full rest."

Var-"Thanks Nandu and sorry for troubling you.You are late for hospital.I dont know why suddenly this fever."

She sneezed again.Nandini packing her things and smiling at her.Vivaan was making face.At baby trying to cheer him up.He have seen his mother.So all he wants is her now.

N-"You know you both are alike.Last night your husband was thanking me.Now you.I mean come on.No thanks in family.But girl you need to take care of your health.No late night showers.You were playing in rain or what."

Varna bit her lip.Looking down.Vivaan heard that and smirked.If she only knew what happened for real.All she remembers she locked herself in washroom.Nandini advised her bed rest.Cooing Pranushs cheeks she left.Vivaan dropped Pranush on bed.He was happiest finding warmth of his mother.Varna adjusted him on her lap.Making sure she avoids any close contact with him.He was too sensitive to catch infection.He was playing this game with her fingers.Varna scanned Vivaan.He wasnt ready for work yet.He came to them.

Var-"You can leave for office.Dont worry.I will manage with Pranu.Lata aththai is here."

V-"Im not going anywhere.Will work from home.I know you can manage but still."

He heard his phone and got busy on call.Varna was still trying to recollect.About last night.She wished nothing happened which will make her.Things between them uneasy for time.She wanted to ask him but didnt knew how to.Pranush was trying to get her attention.He grabbed stethoscope which Nandini forgot to take.He smiled seeing something he loves to play with.Before he could give it good wash.With his mouth.Varna took it from him.

Var-"Nandu must have forgotten it.I also need to thank her.For last night properly."

She was getting up with Pranush.When Vivaan came back.Glaring at her.

V-"You have taken an oath.Never to listen to anyone."

Var-"Im fine.I can walk.Cant stay here whole day.Have to return this to Nandu."

V-"Give it to me.I will return her.She must have left by now."

Var-"But I."

His eyes as if gave her warning.She got back and he covered her properly with blanket.Pranush was there allowed to take tour of bed.Being careful.Vivaan gave him his toys and was checking his phone.Varna was stealing glances at him.

V-"If you want to say anything.Say it."

Var-"No.I mean.What happened.Last night.I mean how did I ended up here."

He came to bed calmly and settled facing her.His smirk made her nervous.Alarming her that something has happened.All wrong thoughts invading her mind.Did something happened for which.She have to regret for life.

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Just want to know.How did you liked chapter?Little glimpse of almost confession.Coming up more moments.Of happiness finally.

Please do not forget to vote and comment.

:)