As sun rose spreading its light.Making its way to room.Varna slowly opened her eyes.Feeling need for water as her throat went dry.She managed to get up.With drowsy eyes.Finding herself alone in room.Took some water and had it while her eyes were looking for someone.Keeping glass back to its place.She took blanket.Resting her back in comfortable way.Fever was painful.Whole night she was in drowsy state.Not in full senses but she understood what was happening around.He was there awake.With her.Keeping wet towels on her forehead to make her feel better.Every possible thing he did.Massaging her head and whispering nothing but sweet words.He was there for her.

Varna took deep breath and smiled.Unlike of her but she did.She looked at window where light was coming from.Her life was going same direction.Suddenly she felt different emotion.She didnt wanted to go back.Experience what she have been through.She had enough didnt she.As she shut her eyes it dawned upon her how her father was in hospital.

V-"Oh you are already up.Great.Here have your breakfast and then medicine."

Var-"Ah.How is Appa now?"

V-"There are two medicines.This tablet you have to take first.Pranu is waiting for you.Shouting from morning.Have this before he starts fighting again to get to you."

She took medicines and had them with water as he gave her glass.He looked fresh from face.After taking shower.In early morning and handling Pranush which wasnt easy job.She knew he was avoiding her questions.

Var-"I will freshen up and get ready.Have to go to hospital."

V-"Have this food and rest.Fever has not gone yet."

Var-"Im fine please.I.I want to meet Appa.How is he?"

Vivaan frowned and kept tray on bed.He then moved to get his file.Busying himself.She noticed that.

Var-"Why are you avoiding my questions.He is my father.I will go."

V-"Go and do what.Get insulted again.Hear same words so that guilt hits you again.Im sorry I wont let that happen.I wont let my wife go through this shit again and again.Have breakfast and rest."

She wasnt offended at his behavior.Rather it made her feel good from inside.As she ate food slowly.She remembers every word Karuna said to her.They did take her to her past.How she was replacement in Ramyas place in their lives.they believed so and Vivaan and Pranushs life as well.But does her husband feels same.She has seen in his eyes guilt.He couldnt protect her.He murmured to her last night how he should have stood for her.She glanced at him.He was pretending to stand there doing some work when he wasnt actually.She smiled having juice.

V-"What.Why that smile now."

Var-"You can come and sit here.No need to work your head.With that empty file."

Empty file dropped from his hand.Leaving him embarassed as he was caught.He came back to her.trying to keep serious look on face.He was relived seeing her alright.Else he thought she will be back to her shell.She was done with breakfast.

V-"I want you to take care of yourself Varna.Think about your own good.You are my wife now.I wont let anyone pressurize you mentally because I do know.How you have surpassed that one phase.I promise not to let you go through that again in life."

Var-"Why do you care so much for me.When all I have given you nothing but coldness.From time we were tied in this unwanted relationship."

V-"Because you are special.To our son."

Var-"And?"

She pursed her lips.He looked unsure of saying that to her.All she wanted to hear from him was what she anticipated.Next she felt him taking her hands.Stroking them.

V-"I dont want to sound cheezy or over dramatic.It havent been easy with us.This far we came.But if you can believe me.I have my heart for you.Pranush must have been reason you came to my life.Now you mean something beyond special to me.I may not confess like mad lover.But I do want to give you all love that you deserve.When someone makes you cry.I feel that pain.All I want to do is.Keep every pain.Away from you.You are here Varna.I can cross my heart."

He took her hand.Placing it near his heart.While saying that.She felt nothing but overwhelmed.Shutting her eyes as tears embraced.He got up placing light kiss on her forehead.She was taking it all without any bindings.She believed him.

V-"I dont have any complaints against you.Because it may not feel real.Under any circumstance that a man.Who was married to your sister.Falls for you this soon.As woman you have every right to take your decision.But at same time I wont let you go away from me.I wont."

He ended that with a beautiful smile on face.He was about to leave when heard her voice.

Var-"Vivaan.I want to meet Appa.Please.You can trust me.I wont break this time.I need you by my side."

Prakash was in much better condition now.Shifted to private cabin.Vivaan came to know Karuna was stil in her room taking rest.After which he decided to take Varna to hospital.Still not fully assured.Who can make this stubborn girl understand.

He was talking with doctor when Varna stood there.Feeling her hands cold.

V-"Appa is responding to treatment.He maybe discharged in day or two.If he recovers like this.Varna are you sure you want to."

She didnt say anything.But assured him through her eyes.

Var-"I have thought a lot Vivaan.running away never heals your wounds.I want to face now.My fears.No matter how hard I try.I cant deny they are my family."

He gave nod and they opened door.Finding Prakash on bed.His eyes were closed.Varna felt lump on her throat.Seeing her father in such state.He was an active man always working.Fit and she has never seen him this weak.She felt hand on her shoulder.Vivaan could understand turmoil she was in.Somehow he also felt this needs ending.

P-"Vvarnaa.You came."

Prakash opened his eyes with weak smile.He could see his daughter standing there.With Vivaan on her side.Who gave smile to him.

V-"Appa how are you feeling now?"

P-"Much better.I thought I wont get back.This time."

He started coughing.Seeing all drips attached to him.This weak.Varna was on verge of breaking down.Prakash could see tears in her eyes.He tried to keep his hand on her head.When she looked at him.With widened eyes.She didnt say a word.

V-"I.Think I should talk to doctor.Im there outside."

Vivaan had feeling at that moment.This should be moment for father and daughter.He should give them much needed space.He wished only Varna should keep her strength like he wanted her to.

Lata was giving bath to Pranush.Which wasnt an easy job.Specially in absence of Vivaan and Varna both.After a lot of struggle she succeeded.Shifting him to bed and making him wear clothes.

Pr-"Ammaaa.Paaanuu.Ammmaaaa."

L-"Pranu is good boy.He has taken bath.Will wear nice dress.So that when Amma comes back.She will give him lost of kisses.Right Pranu."

Baby giggled as if understood.Whole world was on one side.His love for Varna on other side.He got ready without any fuss.When Lata was brushing his hair.When she saw him staring at door.She found Karuna standing there.

K-"I could hear his voice from outside.Thought to help you also.Handling him must be difficult."

She joined there cooing little ones cheeks.He frowned not recognizing face.Karuna felt bad.Lata tried to cover it up in nice way.

L-"He is in fussy mood nowdays.Kids do behave like this when teething.Even we cant handle him.He doesnt stay away from his mother for a minute."

K-"Mother means most special to baby.I feel bad sometimes.Thinking if Ramya was here she would have given him.So much love.She had that inside her.She used to say so much before his birth.I will do this that.Everything fell apart."

L-"She is there with Pranush.Seeing him.We all do miss Ramya but who can go against fate."

K-"That girl had to suffer so much.From childhood that disease made her life difficult.When we thought she found love in life.Then all had to break like this.Pranu is her last symbol for us.Whenever I see him.I see Ramya in him.Same eyes.She was very  naughty."

Pranush made cry face.As Lata tried feeding him his food.He wasnt in mood to have it.His eyes were looking for Varna.Karuna took him in her lap.Showing him his toys.Then she successfully made him eat.

K-"They say time is best healer.We dont know if this pain will ever heal or not."

L-"It wont Karuna Akka.But theres always something we can hold onto.Pranu is as much as your.As he is to us.You can come and spend time with him."

K-"I do wish to but Prakash.He keeps me worried always.His health deteriorated like anything.Im thinking if he gets well soon.We all should go somewhere.For few days and this way.He can spend some time with Pranu too."

L-"Thats great idea.We should give it thought."

Varna was sitting in stool.Near her father.In silence she kept looking down.Prakash could read her mind.He knew a lot has to be said today before its too late.

P-"What have you done to yourself.You look so pale."

Var-"Im fine.Just little fever."

P-"Fever?You were always like this.Used to hide your pain.Whenever you were sick.Didnt tell any of us.Instead chose to be alone."

A faint smile came on her lips.Prakash touched her hand.It wasnt easy for her every passing minute.His voice cracked.

P-"Varna.I saw dream last night.Ramya was there.Smiling at me.Her smile was so bright.I felt she was calling out to me.If time has come so that I can go to her."

Var-"Even now you chose her.Among us.Appa wouldnt have been better.If I would have died and Ramya was alive.So many people needed her."

P-"Varna.I never meant that.Amma."

He could see her in tears.Trying to hide them.She wasnt in good condition.

P-"You always get my words wrong.You both are my daughters.I cant choose any one of you ever.Shes not here but still.With me.I.I do find her in you."

Var-"Thats problem Appa.Biggest tragedy of my life.Which never got meaning.Because all you did was to find.Ramya in Varna.While doing this.You guys never felt.What you are doing to Varna.She lost battle to herself."

P-"Varna.You were always an independent girl.I was proud of your achievements too in life.Way you handled yourself.My work and everything.How can you feel like that.About yourself.You were never like this."

Var-"You all did that to me.Appa didnt you ever feel.That Varna and Ramya are two individuals.They deserve to be treated differently.Always I have seen this.Im not Ramya Appa.I never wanted to be her."

P-"We have always seen you as one because.You were inseparable from birth.You have always felt bond for each other.Remember first time got you admitted to school.You were adamant not to leave Ramya and go.She was sick thats why I wanted you to go first.But you waited a year for her.You even chose to miss your exams when she was sick.Your important deals.Ramya came first for you in every event of your life."

Var-"My love for my sister.Became bridge for you all to judge me with all this.Take to end and leave me there alone."

P-"Varna no.You got it all wrong.When have I ever discriminated between you both.Tell me.Among you both she had weak heart.Thats why we always treated her tenderly.And you.Did we love you less.We never did.We always gave you what we gave to Ramya.Where did it lacked."

Var-"You are right Appa.You have given me everything.You gave to her.Just little attention.Care I wished to get.When I used to prepare for my exams.I wanted you to hold my hand and say.Everything will be fine.When I used to miss amma at nights and cry.I wanted someone to give me hug and say.Im there.When Ramya used to get hurt.All rushed to her to see if she is alright.I used to check on her wounds.But noone saw if Varna got same wound."

P-"Because you never to us.You misunderstood it all time.We loved you both equally."

Var-"I dont know what love means.Care means.If its making you realizing every moment that you are born.To protect your sister.Be shadow of her.I have somehow managed to live my life like that.Made my own world but you were never happy.With this too.Remember how you accused me of being hurdle in Varnas happiness.I would have given my life for her.She meant world to me.I have spent nights taking care of her when she was sick.I sued to sleep holding her tight.Taking as my only escape.I remember when we were small.All used to say we are reflection of each other.But you know Appa.As time passed I hated that same thing about us.My Rmya had no fault.But I got so bad.I became horrible person.Thats I started disliking that life.I kept myself away from her.Which was most difficult thing in my whole life.I broke her ehart.For which I wont be able to forgive myself ever.She yearned to see glimpse of me.While leaving and I couldnt be there.Do you know how it feels Appa.It hurts.It breaks my heart.For you all.For you I made myself biggest enemy of my sister.I hated myself for that.when before Varna was always there to handle Ramya.Look to her needs.What ramya wants.Everyone knew and saw.Why is it that noone cared to know.What Varna wants Appa.Why.Do you have any answer for this."

Prakashs eyes welled up.He did realized he wronged her in many cases.But deep down he also knew.He loved her no less than Ramya.It was care for her.Time he given to her.He couldnt give same to Varna.

Var-"I dont need answers from you Appa.I just want you to know that.If you want to see my alive.Please stop looking for Ramya in me.Im tired of this.Because every time I come in front of you.I see you finding Ramya in me.Which Im not.Im sorry.Every time I have accepted all your accusations on me.Without word.Be it accepting Shakthis proposal for which I wasnt ready.My heart was broken.yet I couldnt tell anyone.What I wanted to.And I thought I can live life for myself.But again I got played on.You blamed me why Shakthi left me.When you were ones who wanted me to save Ramyas last symbol.You snatched Shakthi from me.did I say anything?No.Because I was dead.I had no emotions in me."

P-"We have seen your love for Pranush.Your break down.We thought its better."

Var-"Its better that Ramyas baby gets to have mother.Who is look alike of his mother only.Right Appa?Why should we think about Varna.Why when shes just there.To fulfill Ramyas position.Why should we think that.She is different.Person who may have her own decision.Desires in life.Her fiance ditched her.So she doesnt deserve normal life now.She loves her sisters son.So she should marry man.Who was her sisters husband.Get to own right on everything.That belonged to Ramya.In Ramyas world.Varna should live.But I couldnt breathe appa.A single day.I felt suffocated there.I felt someone strangling me.When every corner of that place.Every person there reminded me of Ramya.You threw me in place.Where I never wanted to be."

Her cries made him realize.Most harsh truth which he failed to see till now.He was shocked beyond imagination.

P-"Varnaa.You were in so much pain.Why didnt you tell us."

Var-"Hah.Tell you what.Were you ever there.To hear me?Hear what I want.I have always been judged in life.As daughter.As sister and as mother.When I didnt knew anything about motherhood.All I knew was I held that baby.When I lost most precious thing of my life.My Ramya.I could feel something inside me.I held on to him.Because I felt he was in similar situation like me.Deprived and alone.All said that his mother left him alone.He was her last symbol.But truth was that Appa.I never held him as Ramyas son.I never gave him love taking him as someone elses belonging.He belonged to me.I thought.He is mine.He was only one who chose me.When I take him as mine.Why Appa.Why are you all hell bent on snatching him away from me.Making me realize that.I didnt give birth to him.Im just replacement in his life for Ramya.Im not."

P-"You have so much pain.Accusations against me.You kept them with you for so long.Where did I go wrong.I wonder."

Var-"You were busy trying to make your daughter get best in life.Who had weak heart.But in that process.You made your other daughter weak.Broke her from all ends.Ramya was your first priority always.Do you know Appa.Why I didnt wanted to meet you all in these days.Because I hated to go back to those days.Which you make me remember.Every time I come to you.Im repeatedly being realized.Im looking after someone elses son.House and family.Varna was always wrong for you.She never had big heart like Ramya.She couldnt mix with people easily.Couldnt spread happiness.How.When she was herself clueless.to what being happy means.While protecting Ramya.You couldnt see if Varna needed your care.Love.You never did.Never.Im sorry Appa.But Im scared.To go back to my own house.My family.Fearing I will be broken again.On verge of ending my life.Im sorry."

She covered her mouth leaving room.Prakash was scared with revelations.He couldnt think of anything.Else than remembering times.He did injustice.How could he not think about all this over years.This wasnt wound which would heal easily.It was developed for years.He feared if he had lost his daughter forever.

Vivaan met Prakash before leaving hospital.he was not having good feeling seeing him.As he seemed to be broken.Though he didnt tell him anything except.To look after Varna and take care of her.He was driving keeping his eyes on her time to time.She looked alright.But something was going on her mind.Her eyes looked puffy.He thought it was better if she would tell him.

Karuna felt peace spending good time with Pranush.It was as if she experienced Ramya and Varnas childhood again.She fed him and read him stories.It took time for him to settle but soon he was at peace.He was sucking his fist.While looking at picture album.Karuna was showing him.There was Prakash.And Shetty family along with Reddy family.Pranu squealed as he could recognize faces of his family members.He clapped seeing his father.Touching his face on picture.

P-"Paaaa.annu.Viaaaaan.Viaana."

K-"Pranu.No.You shouldnt call your father by name.call him appa.Say Appa."

P-"Viaaaan.Nooo.Viaaaaan."

He frowned trying to snatch picture from her.As she settled him on his lap.

K-"Dont know what else to expect from Varna.While giving him so much love.She is not able to correct his mistakes too.Tomorrow if her upbringing is questioned.What will she do.After all they will blame her as she is not his real mother.I have to talk to her about this."

She found Pranush getting angry over small things.Be it taking Vivaans name or act too fussy with anyone else.He was attached to Varna most which somehow irked Karuna.She had different thoughts or fear on her mind.What if she didnt let him get closer to Vivaan.Keeping her close to herself only.While she was busy in thoughts she heard Pranush screaming.Pointing at Ramyas picture.She touched picture and her heart cried.

K-"Your Amma Pranu.If she was here she would have loved you so much.You know.Everyone believed she would spread happiness.Around with her smile."

Pranush frowned throwing away album.At which Karuna frowned.She took it back and again tried to make him.Recognize face calling her as his mother.

P-"Naaa.Ammaaa.Paaaanuu."

He soon started crying on being forced by Karuna.She felt bad while trying to do something.She tried to handle him.When she saw him touching picture.Almost trying to grab it.

P-"Ammmaaaa.Ammaaaaa."

He started crying again loudly.Not finding person he was looking for.Thats when Karuna saw it was Varnas picture.How was it that resemblance all had hard time to find between two face.For this time.This little kid did that.He could recognize Varna in picture.

K-"Shhh Pranu.Look at me.Shes also your amma but.See this is Ramya.Your amma."

Karuna felt like gush of wind.Baby was snatched from her.Before she could realized what happened.She saw Varna embracing Pranush in her hold.As his sobs subsided.Him hiding himself in her bosom.Varna felt peace feeling him closer to her.Kissing his head.Baby tugged at her stole.trying to tell her where she was.He was looking for her.She calmed him down.Not to miss glare her aunt was giving to her.

K-"Varna I was only trying to.He should also know Ramya."

Var-"He is my son.Please stay away from him.If you cant understand him."

She left room.Karuna coudnt take insult like that.According to her she wasnt trying to do anything wrong.But what Varna was doing wasnt right.She looked at album.

A week has passed.Prakash condition was getting better.While he didnt tell Karuna about that days interaction with Varna.From inside he was feeling guilty for doing that to his own daughter.Varna went to meet him twice in this time.That also with Vivaan Shivani and Vikram.He asked for forgiveness from her.She couldnt say anything but assured him.She wouldnt ignore or keep herself away from him.But she cant feel connection of what daughter feels anymore.It was true on her part.She was emotionally detached from her family.Maybe it will take time or it wil never happen again.But she has decided not to mess things up more in her life.She wanted to end all this.Get over it.On other hand Karuna went back to her house.She was busy taking care of Prakash and never had face off with Varna in this time.

It was night time.Varna saw father son duo busy playing.Vivaan was throwing ball to Pranush.He was walking with slow steps.And passing ball as it hit his father.Who faked to get hurt.That made him rush to him.Touch his face and ask in his babyish voice where it hurts.She shook her head at little things.For which she has been able to pass her days here.Where it still felt abnormal.Remembering old time and when they spent days here after their marriage.She just had call with Nandini.Inquiring about her as she was alone there.Once she gets back she has to ask her about her and Reyaansh.Her voice sounded low too.

After their game ended Vivaan lulled little chub to sleep.Placing him in middle of bed.He saw Varna and his expression changed.She opened cap of bottle about to take tablets.When he came out of nowhere and threw bottle on floor.She looked at him with shock.He had anger written on his face.

Var-"Are you mad?What did you do."

V-"What do you think you were doing.Moment I start thinking you are back to normal.You do these things again."

Var-"What did I do now.Cant I even take medicine in peace?You dropped everything."

V-"Yeah for peace.You were about to take these slipping pills?You think I dont get this.Varna talk to me if you are feeling low.Im there.If you want shout at me but.You cant do this to yourself."

She picked up bottle.Looked at him crossing her hands.His face was white with fear.She broke into laugh soon startling him.

V-"You think this is funny?"

Var-"No.But you are mad.I know."

She showed him bottle.Which was her vitamin tablets.and here he thought she was taking sleeping tablets.He cursed himself for acting as fool.Gave weird grin to her.Scratching his head.

V-"Sorry.I thought you were."

Var-"You dont have to worry about this now.Im not that weak.Maybe I was but I have passed that phase.I know Im reason only what made you react like that."

She left from there.To bed making her place there.Settling herself with her book.He came back wiping off sweat from face.He was almost scared of losing her again.He kept on looking at her.While patting Pranush.Who stirred in sleep.Varna saw that.

V-"Im glad.You have started behaving normal.The old Varna Shetty."

Var-"And what makes you think like that?"

V-"Because the one I knew.Would never read love stories.Least I have seen in all this time."

She bit her lips.Shutting her eyes.So he caught her well.That was true.She suddenly felt like reading.Something that made her remember times she used to give herself.Vivaan smirked and hid himself inside quilt.

Once lights were switched off.Both were awake but pretending to sleep.Vivaan could hear her meek voice.

Var-"Appa is getting discharged tomorrow.We can get back to Hyderabad now."

V-"If you wish so.I will book our tickets."

That night he saw her sleeping.With content on her face.That gave him enough positivity and belief that.She is better now.Maybe over phase he believed would break her.

........................................................................................................................

How was chapter?You may feel Varna is selfish thinking about herself.As she expressed herself to her father.In this chapter.But arent we all?She never said she wanted what Ramya got but all she wanted was.Something for herself too.It took me lot of time to write father daughter interaction.Hope it came out nice.Dont worry Karuna aththai will get what she deserves too.Next chapter.

Thank you for your love and support.Please do not forget to vote and comment.

:)