NINE.
essence of tragedy!

❝ in life love gnawed my skin to this white bone; what love did then, love does now: gnaws me through ❞

⎯ sylvia plath, dialogue between ghost and priest

THE SIRENS COME to a halt.

Bucky, Sam, and little Reine all turn to see the police car pull in front of them. At the sight, Sam stiffens, sighing and looking down to the floor. Bucky immediately turns to his stepdaughter, but she's stepped away, her feet moving her towards Sam instantly.

Two white men step out of the vehicle, and Reine bristles when she sees their hands already reaching for their weapons.

"Hey." one of them says.

"What's up, man?" Sam says briskly. Reine bites the inside of her cheek.

"Is there a problem here?" the officer asks.

"No, we're just talking." Sam says, his tone high and reasonably annoyed.

Reine crosses her arms. "We're okay." she tells them, her voice firm and calm. The nerves in her hands are shredded.

"We're fine." Bucky clarifies. The two officers don't seem to hear either of the Castell-Barnes, and go straight to speaking with Sam.

"Can I see your ID?" one of them asks him. Reine blows a deep, irritated breath.

"Are you kidding me?" she snaps, not attempting to hide the anger from her voice anymore. Again, the officers don't seem to hear her.

"I don't have ID." Sam answers. "Why?" He turns to face the officer. Around them, people start to accumulate on the street, coming to their windows to see what's going on.

"Okay, sir, just calm down." the officer says, raising a hand towards Sam.

"I am calm." Sam replies. "What do you want? We're just talking."

Then Bucky says. "Just give him your ID so we can leave." he tells Sam, and Reine doesn't hesitate to elbow him in the ribs. This action, however, is no longer a friendly play-fight movement. It's real and serious and it hurts. Reine glares at him.

"No, I'm not giving him shit, we're just talking." Sam says.

"Hey, hey." the officer cuts in, then turns to Reine and Bucky. "Look, is this guy bothering you?"

"No, he's not!" Reine yells out harshly as Bucky answers. "No, he's not bothering me."

Reine steps closer to Sam. "He's our friend."

"Hey, do you know who this is?" Bucky asks the men irritably, gesturing to Sam, who stands stiff and steps closer to Reine, who tries to reach for his hand for comfort, but he gives her a look saying back off. The girl does.

Then the officer's partner leans over to whisper something into his ear, and both of their demeanours change instantly. The man who had his hand on his gun stares at Sam as if he's just seeing him for the first time. His mouth drops open.

"Oh, God, I am so sorry, Mr. Wilson." he chuckles nervously. "I didn't recognize you without the goggles." Whether you recognized him or not shouldn't matter, Reine thinks bitterly. "I'm really, really sorry about this." Another siren whoops, and they turn to see more police cars show up behind them.

"Guys..." the man sighs. "Just wait here, okay? Just..." Sam's eyes narrow as the officer moves away to speak with the others, and Reine looks up at Sam, her mind blank except for thoughts of him.

"Sam... are you okay?"

Sam looks down at her and doesn't speak for a moment, then answers plainly. "No, I'm not alright. I just..." Reine nods in understanding, a frown on her rounded features as Sam trails off and sighs, turning to look at Bucky.

Her stepfather leans closer and whispers. "I didn't... I didn't tell anybody because he had already been through enough." Sam stares at him, his face unreadable, but as the officers return and Bucky looks at them, Reine can see Sam shaking his head slightly.

"Mr. Barnes." the officer says. "Miss Castell." Reine's neck stiffens as the man's eyes land on her. "There's a warrant out for your arrest," he points to Reine. "And her apprehension." the girl frowns as Bucky immediately steps in front of her.

"Look, the President pardoned him for all that, and she's under his legal care," Sam argues, and Reine's heart feels like it's about to burst. Even when dealing with his own demons, Sam still has room to care for others.

"Not for that." the officer answers. "You two missed your court-mandated therapy." Reine's mouth drops open. "It's like missing a check-in with your PO." Reine doesn't know what that means, but by the way Bucky gives a pained smile she can tell it's not good.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Barnes, you're under arrest." they say and slowly go to handcuff him. "And Miss Castell, if you would follow me." Reine pauses, her feet holding her in place as Bucky is led towards the car. She peers back at Sam, who also stays put, and flinches when the officer puts a hand on her shoulder. Inside the car, Bucky's brows furrow as he sees his step-daughter being led to the passenger side door.

The police cars leave silently, Sam Wilson left seething behind in their wake.

Reine has been sitting alone in a white-walled room for thirty minutes when the doors finally open.

She looks up from where she nervously picks at the scabs on her knuckles. Sometimes, when she closes her eyes, she can still feel the glass cutting into her skin. The shock, the numbness as the glass broke and her screams pierced the night. Then the pain, slow and burning, white hot fire enveloping her skin, her hatred reborn into something living, something murderous.

She no longer needs the bandages, and the molten, bruised wound is on display for the whole world to see. As she flexes her fingers, the muscles beneath the scars burn, the carefully sewn stitches screaming, but right now, Reine doesn't cry out.

Her heart is locked in place as two police officers come into the room. They beckon her to stand, and so she does. Her mind is a cacophony of thoughts too loud for her to distinguish. The white walls of the holding cell remind her of the room the German officers took her into when Bucky was captured. She remembers the way they searched her, while she was screaming her mother's name.

Reine follows the officers out of the room and through the dimly lit corridors of the police station. They wander through the twists and turns until finally, they open another pair of heavy-set doors, and Reine is led out into the atrium.

Inside, she sees Sam talking with Dr. Raynor, and when the man sees her, he immediately stops whatever conversation they were having and rushes over to her. Dr. Raynor slowly turns and gives her a small smile. Reine doesn't return the favour.

"Reine!" Sam says. "Are you okay? Where's Bucky?"

"They're letting him out." Dr. Raynor responds before she can respond. Sam and Reine look at the older woman, and a sense of relief washes over them both.

"Oh," Reine says shyly. "Thank you for getting him."

"That was not me." Raynor responds, and Reine's brows furrow. Sam and her share a look as a stark voice rings out through the room.

"Christina." They all look over to see who's voice it is, and the moment Reine sees him, her face falls. Sam takes a deep breath. John Walker stalks towards them, still in his uniform. "It's great to see you again!"

Reine doesn't even try to hide her frown as Sam turns to Raynor. "You gotta be kidding me. You know him?"

"I hate him." Reine remarks dully, to no one in particular.

"Yeah," Raynor responds, sounding even less enthused than her young patient. "We did some field ops back in the day."

"I heard you were working with Bucky," John says, his voice closer this time, and it takes Sam's hand twisting around her arm to keep Reine from running back into the white-walled room and away from this man. "So I thought I'd step in."

"Step in with what?" Reine grumbles as John stops in front of them.

John ignores her and talks to Raynor. "Bucky's not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer."

"We haven't finished our work," Raynor immediately intervenes. "Who authorized this?" John smiles that infuriatingly smug smile of his and gingerly points to himself. A fire flares inside Reine's stomach, and she curls her hands into fists.

"What about me?" she asks, tone as sharp as cut glass. John does a double take, peering at Reine like he's just now noticed she was there.

"Oh, yeah, you too," he answers, and grins wide. Reine's face twists into something monstrous, and it doesn't take long before John has to look away. It looks could kill, Reine Castell would be at the top of the most wanted list.

There is a buzz behind them, and Reine turns to see Bucky being led out of the hallway.

"He's too valuable of an asset to be tied up." John is explaining. "And I'm told she's always along for the ride, ain't that right, Reine?" the girl doesn't turn around, her eyes meeting her stepfather's. "So, just do whatever you got to do with them, then send them off to me." The girl's shoulders go stiff, but she doesn't look at the man. Instead, she heads towards Bucky, and his face twists when he sees her.

Reine doesn't say anything as she walks towards him, hand reaching forward until her small fingers wrap around his metal hand. She squeezes hard, eyes not meeting his own, and Bucky, knowing a little of what she's feeling, squeezes back.

They've always been good at reading each other, using nothing but looks to determine the other's emotions.

Maybe it's the serum that courses through both their bloodstreams, or simply that they've known each other long enough, grown beside each other long enough, loved the same people to know each other better than anyone.

"Got some unfinished business, them and I." Walker continues to speak. "You too, Wilson." Then he turns and holds up an obnoxious peace sign that makes Reine blanche. "I'll be outside." this he tells to everyone in the room.

Reine doesn't let go of Bucky until Walker is out of the room, and they both turn at the sound of Raynor's voice.

"James, Reine, condition of your release, session now." Reine groans and Bcuky looks down to the floor, and the woman starts towards the door Bucky just came through. "You too, Sam."

"That's okay." Sam says. "I'll be out here with..."

"That wasn't a request." Raynor yells, and she motions for Reine to follow after her. She does, but drags her feet, hands like lead weights at her side so that she trudges along slower than a sloth. Raynor sighs as Bucky and Sam follow after her.

Several minutes later, the three of them sit side by side ーReine stuck in the middleーin a dark interrogation room. Raynor flips open her notebook across from them. She wears a look Reine doesn't understand, so she follows suit of the men around her and leans back, crossing her arms over her chest, and frowns darkly.

"So..." Raynor begins. "Who would like to start?" Reine opens her mouth to state that she doesn't have any clue what's going on or why they're here, but Sam speaks before she can say this out loud.

"All right, look, Dr. Raynor?" He sighs. "I get it, why you want me to talk to Freaky Magoo over here." Reine shuts her mouth. "But I'm 100% fine."

"Uh, same." Reine mutters to her therapist. Bucky clenches his jaw and adds nothing.

"It is my job to make sure that you're okay." she tells them. "So, yeah, this may be slightly unprofessional but it's the only way that I can see if you're getting over whatever's eating at you." Reine pauses, and her throat goes dry.

The first word that pops into her head is Mama.

"This is ridiculous." Sam answers, shaking his head.

"Yeah, I agree." Bucky says.

"Can I go?" Reine asks meekly.

"See?" Raynor responds, "Making progress already." Reine slumps back in her chair, sighing, and takes to staring at the door behind Raynor, her eyes going in and out of focus from the strain. "So, who wants to go first?"

Nobody speaks.

"No volunteers?" Raynor continues. "Wow. How surprising." She looks at Reine, who's thoughts still ricochet with her statement of whatever's eating at her. The answer is a million different things, the whole world. Reine doesn't know how to process this. She doesn't understand why Raynor's statement affects her so much.

"Okay, we're going to do an exercise." Raynor states, closing her book with a snap. "It's something I use with couples and families when they are trying to figure out what kind of life they want to build with each other." Reine raises an eyebrow and Sam shakes his head. "Are you familiar with the miracle question?"

"Of course not." Sam answers.

"Absolutely not." Bucky responds.

"Nope." Reine says plainly.

"Okay, it goes like this." Raynor clarifies. "Suppose that while you're sleeping, a miracle occurs. When you wake up, what is something you would like to see that would make your life better?"

Reine and Bucky look like they've just been shot. Sam frowns. The man quickly recovers, a mask coming over his face to hide the true answer to his question, but Reine is not so lucky. Immediately, she seems to shrink into herself, shoulder hunched and eyes glazed over, hands shaking in her lap. Tears threaten to spill over the rim of her eyelids. Her answer is simple, but it will break her if she speaks it out loud.

Seeing the way his step-daughter immediately retreats, Bucky speaks up first, his tone light, with only a hint of the real fragility in him peeking through. "In my miracle, Sam would... he would, he would talk less."

"Exactly what I was gonna say." Sam cuts in. "Isn't that ironic?"

"You guys are leaving me with no choice." Raynor says through a deep breath. "It's time for the soul-gazing exercise."

Immediately, Bucky states. "I like this one."

"Oh, God. He's gonna love this." Sam says. Oh, this is right up your alley, and Reine's too, isn't it?" Reine's head shoots upwards as if she's just now realizing where she is and what's happening. Sam's brows furrow while Bucky sighs and reaches for her hand, but they're buried in her pockets.

"What?" she manages to speak, her voice hoarse.

"Uh..." Sam trails off, unable to answer.

Raynor steps in. "It's alright, Reine. This is only for Sam and Bucky." the girl makes a small O shape with her mouth and nods once, turning back to staring. Bucky wants nothing more than to take her away from this place, back to the apartment, back to anywhere that she can be safe. His eyes still fill with fury at the fight with the Flag Smashers the day before.

"Okay," Raynor says in the deafening silence. "Face each other." Raynor says, and Reine pushes her chair back, her face numb and frozen in place. "All right, good. All right, get close." Bucky and Sam shift their chairs forward a little. "Closer."

What ensues is a flurry of movement as Bucky and Sam argue about which way to turn to get closer, pushing each other's chairs back and forth before getting into a very heated, prolonged staring session which Reine believes is ended by Raynor snapping her fingers and cursing under her breath.

Finally, after all the chaos has settled down, everyone is seated in their spots, hands in their laps, eyes focused on Ryanor.

"Alright, now." she says with a huff, leaning back in her chair. "James, why does Sam aggravate you?" Bucky gives a small smile. "And don't say something childish." He bites down on his lip and turns back to Sam. Reine is aware of what's happening, but she wishes she wasn't.

Finally, Bucky asks, in a dulcet tone. "Why did you give up that shield?"

Sam rolls his eyes. "Why are you making such a big deal out of something that has nothing to do with you?"

"Steve believed in you." Bucky says. "He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is... that is everything he stood for." now Reine's paying attention. Her eyes snap between Bucky and Sam, listening closely. "That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing."

His tone grows more harsh, and finally the facade cracks, Bucky's face twisting into something Reine wishes she had never seen. All the anger, all the frustration, all the unbidden grief rises up into his eyes.

He points to Sam. "So maybe he was wrong about you." Bucky leans forward, and Reine goes to touch his arm swiftly, her eyes glassy. "And if he was wrong about you then he was wrong about me."

Reine stops herself, hand half raised, and her eyes bore into the side of Bucky's skull, but there is no fury hidden there.

Only pain. Only agonizing, shredding, torturous pain.

And it is fuelled by what he says next. "That they were all wrong about me." He doesn't need to explain who he means. One of them sits right beside him, and the other... the other is everywhere. In his thoughts, in his eyes, in the face of the little girl he now takes care of. She's the sun and the stars and the moon, and she lays within him, in his heart, breaking it apart until it is like pottery crashing to the floor.

Reine knows he means Marina, and her head drops.

Sam sighs, taking a moment to pause as Bucky closes his eyes and composes himself. His gloved hands strain at his side. Reine can't speak. Her hand aches, a hurtful reminder of what she's done to try and get over her mother's death.

"Look..." when Sam speaks, his voice is painful. "Marina was not wrong about you, okay? She wasn't." Bucky shakes his head and looks to the ceiling. "I'm sorry. I knew her, she was a friend, and she loved you. She loved you both." a lump wells in Reine's throat.

"And maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand. But she would've." Bucky looks at him sharply, everything in his face tight and twisted. "So can you accept that I did what I thought was right?"

Everyone is quiet after that.

Reine still stares at her lap, and Bucky sighs, shaking his head, turning away. Sam stares at both of them, his jaw locked. Raynor doesn't speak.

Then Sam scoffs. "You know what, Doc? I don't have time for this." He looks at Raynor. "We have some real serious shit going on." Bucky nods along, for once agreeing with the man. "So how about this? I will squash it right now. We go deal with that, and when we're done, we both can go on separate, long vacations and never see each other again."

"I like that." Bucky relents. I don't, Reine thinks bitterly, but she doesn't say anything out loud.

"Great." Sam says. "Well, let's get to work." His head swivels to Raynor. "Thanks, Doc, for making it weird." Now this is something Reine can agree on. "I feel much better." He frowns at both of them. "I'll see you outside." Sam hits Reine reassuringly on the shoulder before pulling out of his chair and stalking out of the room.

Bucky soon follows, pulling Reine to her feet.

"Thank you!" Raynor says, with absolutely no conviction. "That was... really great." Reine scoffs. Bucky holds onto Reine's hand firmly, but the girl, now aware of her enhanced strength, quickly guides them back to the safety of her own pockets. Bucky sighs and turns away, Reine following after him slowly.

"I know that look." Raynor's voice stops them in their tracks. "What's wrong?" Bucky turns back around, noticing how Reine has gone still. He frowns, brows creasing at the sight. It's the same stature, the same position his step-daughter had the first few months after coming back. No smile, rigid shoulders, a smoldering pit of grief and denial simmering beneath her irises. A mask pulled over her uncontrollable emotions, her naivety, gone from the world for five years, having come back in pieces, stitched together by only the barest thread of hope.

That hope is gone now, snuffed out by the acceptance of her mother's death.

Just the thought of his wife makes Bucky shiver, memories snapping to the forefront of his mind. Her touch, her smile, her damned laugh that brought light to the darkest corners of his soul.

"What was rule number two again?" he asks solemnly.

"Don't hurt anyone." Raynor replies, and Bucky gives a small nod, staring at her.

"Goodbye, Doc." he says, then turns to the girl. "Come on, Reine." Reine doesn't move a muscle, and after a moment, Bucky realizes she's not going to go with him.

Knowing better than to try and coerce her more, Bucky nods to himself and turns, walking out of the room. The moment the door closes behind him, Reine lets out a breath.

"Reine?" The girl jumps, turning around, having forgotten all about the other woman in the room. Raynor cocks her head to the side, her eyes on the child. Reine's hands involuntarily curl into fists, and she turns back around her jaw stiff. "Is there something you need?"

"No." Reine responds far too quickly. Raynor leans back, understanding dawning on her face, and Reine frowns. "Yes." she relents, her voice hoarse.

Raynor raises an eyebrow, but says nothing, gesturing for Reine to continue. She pauses for a moment, collecting her scattered, burning thoughts, then bites down on her tongue, pain exploding in her mouth, forcing her to speak.

"I don't know what I'm doing here." she finally admits, and the revelation brings a deep breath coursing down her throat. Reine's body becomes as pliable as a sack of potatoes, and for a moment, Raynor believes the girl's about to faint.

But before she can, Reine's shoulders stiffen, and her eyes turn hard. "I'm a super soldier." she says with finality that leaves Raynor speechless. "I think I've always known, but then, we went on a mission, and I knew it then." Raynor places her hands on the table, looking only at Reine, and notices that her patient is shaking. "And now I have this strength I don't understand, and nightmares and thoughts and... and Bucky-" she pauses, her eyes moving to the floor. "Bucky looks at me like I'm still ten years old." Raynor still won't speak, but this only spurs Reine on to say more.

"But I'm scared more of..." she stops herself, and shakes her head.

"What are you afraid of, Reine?" the Doctor asks in a tone very unlike her.

"I'm afraid Mama has something to do with it." Reine blurts out, a single tear clinging to the tan skin of her cheek. "And I don't want to think about her." she blows out a breath, trying to regain strength. "Because it's too painful. I miss her so much." Reine's breaths become ragged, that anger, the red colouring her dreams, it comes back, and nausea rolls around in her stomach.

She half expects to look down and see her hands disappearing again, to see that wretched dust envelop her.

Raynor nods, her eyes on Reine's face, and everything else has been forgotten. The older woman goes to speak, but Reine isn't finished, and she rushes out the last part so quickly that some of her native language is thrown into the mix.

"You keep telling me to move on and trust Bucky and try to get over Mama's death... I can't... too hard. There is this anger inside of me that I can't control and I'm afraid that no matter... It won't stop!" her lips quiver. "What if Mama was the only one keeping me from becoming a soldier, like Bucky was? And now she's gone and I can't... I can't move on. I can't!" she yells the last part, her knees threatening to give way beneath her, and she doesn't try to hide the sobs that flutter inside her chest. "My mother is gone..." she finishes. "And I don't know what to do."

There's silence. The only sounds are Reine's harried breaths. As the quiet dawns, the girl slowly begins to realize everything she's just said. The secret, the silent ache that had been gnawing at her for ages, finally come to light.

Reine's mouth hangs open, and she slowly backs away, towards the door.

Then, before Raynor can say anything else, Reine bolts out of the room. Raynor calls her name, but the girl doesn't hear it. She stumbles through the police station, her eyes scanning each face for a sign of Sam and Bucky, but she doesn't see them.

Reine spins around and goes towards the entrance. For a moment, as she opens the doors, Reine thinks they might arrest her again. Maybe she's not supposed to leave, maybe Walker's men will apprehend her once more. The thought brings another wave of nausea crashing through her.

However, it passes quickly when the fresh night air hits Reine full force as she stumbles out of the doors, no one grabbing at her. Her head swivels to see Sam and her step-father standing side by side, watching John Walker and Lemar Hoskins walk away from them.

The moment they're out of sight, Reine pushes forward, coming to stand beside the two silently. Only Sam acknowledges Reine's presence, casting her a concerned look, but Bucky doesn't turn to her. Instead, his hands curl into fists and he looks at the ground.

Reine purses her lips.

"What happened?" Reine asks meekly as they begin to walk down the street, strolling on the sidewalk. Reine's steps are clumsy, as if she's just learning to walk again, and Bucky notices the fresh stains of tears on her cheeks, but he says nothing.

Reine doesn't want to talk to him, that much is clear. He's made a promise, and he will not break it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt him to do it.

"Walker." Is the only thing Sam says before turning to Bucky. "So what are you thinking?"

"Well..." Bucky starts, glancing at Reine. "I know what we have to do. When Isaiah said 'my people'..."

"Oh, don't take that to heart." Sam cuts in. "That's not what he meant."

"No, he meant HYDRA." Both him and his daughter stop in their tracks, while Sam slowly turns to them. Reine's eyes bore into the side of Bucky's head. "HYDRA used to be my people." At this, his own face twist slightly. Both Sam and Reine know what this look means. Before Marina.

But then Sam catches on to the rest of Bucky's thoughts, Reine still clinging to the first part, to the memories.

The man scoffs. "Not a chance." Reine glowers and Bucky shakes his head.

"Walker doesn't have any leads." he answers.

"I know where you're going with this, no." Reine looks between them, not understanding.

"What?" she asks, and her voice is as coarse as sand over stone. They both glance at her, worry in their gazes. Reine bristles at the look.

"He knows all of HYDRA's secrets." Bucky tells Sam. "Don't you remember Siberia?" And there it is. The needle finally drops, and Reine's mouth falls to the floor as she realizes what Bucky's insinuating.

"So you're just gonna go sit in a room with this guy?" Sam asks harshly. Reine begins to shake her head.

"Bucky, no." she whispers, but it's not enough. She wants to tug on his arm, like she used to do when she wanted his attention, but her hands are in her hoodie pockets and the need to keep the comfort overpowers everything else.

Bucky says hesitantly. "Yes." Both Sam and Reine make pained faces, and Bucky bites down on his cheek. He's clearly not sure about this, but what else can they do?

No matter how much she doesn't want to go along with this, Reine can't deny that it makes sense. This man knows everything about Bucky and Super Soldiers, which means he might know something about her. The last time Reine saw him, he was laughing at her, taunting her, his words getting under her skin like the blade of a knife. She doesn't want to feel that again. She doesn't want to feel anything again.

But that's not a choice she can make. Reine sighs deeply.

Sam says. "Okay, then." Bucky glances down at her, and they share a look that seems to say a million things at once. "We're gonna go see Zemo."

a/n: yiikkkesss, a lot of emotions are about to be brought to the surface and let's just say that my baby Reine is NOT READY. This chapter officially marks the end of the second episode, and we're moving into the third (which is personally one of my favourites) and we're gonna see Zemo + Sharon soon!

In the next chapters, both Bucky and Reine's grief are going to have a big part, as both have reached a point where they can't ignore the pain anymore, and it's going to be very very emotional, so buckle up folks, we're in for one hell of a ride <33

ANYWAYS, what did you guys think of this chapter? I'd love to hear your theories,opinions, and thoughts in the comments, they always make my day! Please don't be afraid to comment, vote, and follow me. Until next time lovelies!

Love you, Mal