thursday night

it's the buzzing of taehyung's phone that distracts him from continuing to binge watch the first season of gossip girl for the past four hours instead of working on an assignment, finally succumbing to jimin's constant you gotta watch it man, it's so good, it'll blow your mind and actually i wish i could blow chuck, bro– shut up i'm not that gay, just watch it and you'll see, but also ignoring his attempts at spoiling who the blogger really is because jimin's not jimin unless he ruins someone's fun, in taehyung's humble opinion.

he reaches to grab his phone from somewhere between his couch's cushions, hand brushing against some moisture taehyung hopes is just water, then presses the button to light up the screen.

new message from ggukie 🤑😤

(he swipes the pad of his thumb across the phone's screen to unlock it so quickly it almost flies away from his hold; his plan can finally continue, now. taehyung thinks there isn't an easier way to seduce someone than through texting)

gukkie;

tae are you actually free monday

i just assumed you didn't and stuff

not like you have any other friends aside from me lmao

(he doesn't even stop to wait for jeongguk's next incoming message)  

you;

u wound me love 

but yea y

finally asking me out after ogling this ass for yrs

gukkie; 

do you wanna studyou asshole

what makes you think i'd ask you out after what happened earlier

you; 

does that mean ud ask me out if i didnt offer a fellow hand

thst doesnt make sense at all

gukkie; 

taehyung can you stop

you; 

nah lmao

gukkie; 

ok i'll see you monday

pls make an attempt at learning this time

you;

right

(there's nothing surprising about the way jeongguk doesn't bring anything up after his last message, so in order to proceed being the persistent trash receptacle he is, he opts for starting another topic himself.

he deems himself worthy of winning a nobel prize for dealing with someone as dense as jeon jeongguk without relying on metaphorical violence.)

you; 

GOD jeongguk ure so fucking boring

cant u ask about my day or smth

gukkie; 

how was your day

you;

im glad u asked ! im watching gg and its lit

i jst want blair to fuck me up

gukkie; 

who doesn't

you;

u have a point

now wby my bro

gukkie; 

i'm alright

not as lit as you are but i did finish my essay for lit

you;

bORING

also u should check the gc joon jim n i r planning some bomb shit

gukkie; 

yeah yeah i will

you;

u wont

gukkie; 

you know me so well

you;

ill let u kno later

now listn

promise not 2 judge me in my next proposal

gukkie;

i've seen your emo phase kim taehyung i'm not giving up on you now

you;

thats so romantic actually

but still

do u want a dick pic

gukkie; 

waht

what** the fuck

why would you want to send me those

are you a straight white boy now

you;

listen im bored and u wont entertain me

plus my dicks sorta hard for no reason at all 

hormonal teenage shit

gukkie;

here we go danger

you;

so y not take this opportunity n share it with the world

gukkie;

taehyung

first of all you're twenty

second how gay can you get

you;

im not gay

everyones got th right to see art regardless of gender

plus ive been told i got a nice dick

gukkie; 

please stop

for the sake of our friendship

that's almost nonexistent by now ngl

you;

yikes >:(

ure being an inconsiderate friend n now im soft thank u v mch

gukkie; 

that's very comforting

you; 

blair wouldnt treat me like this

gukkie; 

she really wouldn't 

i'd ship you and her but blair/happiness is my otp sadly

you;

*breath in* gay

gukkie; 

shut up

see you monday tae i'm done with you

you;

kill me dead

ok one last question

pls i know ure not studying

gukkie; 

what

you;

what are u wearing? ;)

gukkie;

see you monday tae i'm done with you

you;

ACTUAL QUESTION NOW

PINKY PROMISe

gukkie; 

whAT

you;

grab some coffee w me tmr before class

thtd be nice

gukkie;

you're not dragging my ass to starbucks 

i'm not getting scolded by prof kim again for being late

you; 10:48pm

chill dude 

my pal brother frm anther mother

uve already declind my peace offering 

aka masterpiece 

aka delightful image of my ~throbbing member~

gukkie; 

i'm gonna puke

you;

just say yes

gukkie;

ok i'll meet you by the elevators at 7

don't be late or i'll whoop your ass

you; 

SPICY

gukkie; 

no wait you'd like that

there it is

you;

gnight ovr there

gukkie; 

goodnight taetae

  *✲ﾟ*

edited on 08/28 

i have no idea where im going with this chap its just a filler forgive my gay ass

ill prob post the next chap tmro instead of my usual three day break between chaps bc im feeling guilty this one only has ~720 words of two dudes being bros i mean cmon

vote n comment if u want thatd be cool as h*ck

also indeed tae is extra as fr*ck but rmr this is an attempt at comedy™