Losing

"Bite my neck and press your hips into mine"

| Valencia |

"This is sweet" I said, looking up at him over our puddings
"Mines bitter" he mumbled
"No. The date Adonis. You're sweet" I said
"No one would ever describe me that way" he said simply, averting his eyes

"Then let me taste you, and we can confirm or deny" I said
"Stop" he warned, eyes finding mine
"Why?" I asked

"Because I said so" he said
"No, why Adonis? Why do you shut me down? Hm?" I asked
"Because we... you're not..."
"Not what?" I asked

Not good enough?
"You're not sticking around. You're taking the money and leaving. You're disappearing for weeks at a time, you don't respond to my calls, how could we..." he stopped himself

"How could we what?" I asked, lowering my spoon
Be together?
Is that what you're going to say Adonis?
Say it.

Just say it.

"Nothing" he said
I deflated
Nothing

"You need to be more open Adonis" I said, simultaneously putting my walls back up
"I am open" he said blankly
I gave him a look
"What do I need to be open about?" He said defensively

I shrugged
"I don't really know much about you" I said
"Do you need to?" He asked back
"Yes. Tell me, something" I said
He thought for a long while

"I don't have anything to tell. I was like you Valencia. I didn't really do childhood" he said
Valencia. It sounds so fucking good in his mouth

"Never had any friends? Never went to school?" I asked
He shifted
"I stopped going to school around... ten. I was earning money doing runs, I didn't need school" he shrugged

"You ran drugs" I said, he nodded
"Yeah, after my mother got charged for them, you'd think I'd stay away" he chuckled sadly
"But I did what I had to. And then Enzo found me" he said

"He took you in" I said
"He gave me a place to stay, a job. If I hadn't met him, I'd be god knows where, probably prison" he said
"That's why you... feel so much for him" I thought aloud

"Yeah. Him and Athena. They were the parents I needed. My mother was in prison. My dad was nowhere to be seen" he said
"I'm... I'm sorry, that's... sad" I tried to comfort him
"It's life... look at you" he said

I guess he was right
If life had worked out differently, where would I be?

"Do you think I'd be... better? If I wasn't taken by the organisation?" I asked slowly
He said nothing
"I think I'd be... better" I said, quietly
"You're... you're perfect the way you are" he said

"You think so?" I smiled, but it was forced
Because I don't think I am. I think I'm... bad
Killing people was... bad
Hurting people
Manipulating them

It was all so bad. But it was second nature to me
I did it all and I didn't feel bad
I never felt any thing
Not until I met Adonis
Now I feel... bad for trying to kill Enzo
The man who practically raised him

Into the man he is now
Into the man I felt such a strange attraction to
A strange... connection to.

"Yes" he said, taking my hand in his, making me look up
"See..." I said, my eyes feeling... watery?
"You're sweet" I said again

He reached up, wiping my cheek
"Don't cry" he said. I was crying?
"It doesn't suit you" he said, making me genuinely smile

He really was sweet. Kind
He made me feel... normal.
He made me feel

•

This was a bad idea
A really bad idea
Coming back to one of my houses was risky
But I didn't want to let Adonis go yet
And he didn't want to take me to his house
Something about Enzo knowing I was there

I'm not sure why that mattered.
But here we were
In one of my regular houses
With my things... my life
"How many houses do you have?" He asked, looking around

"Some secrets must remain that way" I said
"But you come to this one a lot" he pointed out. It was very lived in
"Yes" I said, holding up a bottle
"Sure" he said, sitting down as I grabbed two glasses

•

"I have another" I said, looking at the empty bottle
"No, leave it" Adonis said, his head fallen back on the sofa as he looked up at the ceiling
"You going soft on me Mr Demaria?" I asked

"I have work tomorrow" he said
"Nice for you eh?" I said
I had nothing anymore
No one to kill
Nothing to keep me entertained

It should be a good thing that I quit but... I do miss it. Not the management, not the constant nagging and definitely not Veronica
But I miss the rush.

Another thing that should make me feel bad

"You'll find something else to do" he said
"Mm, might become a baker" I said sarcastically
He smirked, eyeing me
"Librarian" he suggested
"Is that a fantasy you have?" I asked

He rolled his eyes
"You ruin everything" he said, making me laugh
"It is, isn't it?" I teased, sitting up
"You want me to return your book?" I teased, he ignored me
"Want me to check one out for you?" I asked, sliding into his lap

Which peaked his attention, as he grabbed my waist surprised
"Valencia"
"What? I'm just trying to please you" I drawled out
"Well stop" he said
"Why?" I asked

"Is it working?" I smiled
He looked at me. And I saw it
The lust in his eyes
The same lust I had for him.

Yet it seemed like more than that recently
The hatred he had before wasn't there like it was when we first met
He seemed... genuine
And I couldn't figure out what it was

But I didn't need to, when he sat forward and abruptly kissed me
And I immediately kissed him back

Quickly grabbing for his shirt as he pulled me close, one hand tightly on my thigh as his other hand slid up my back and gripped the back of my neck as he devoured my mouth
I moaned against him, pushing his shirt off his broad shoulders, earning a groan as I swiped over his healing arm

He felt so... warm. So inviting
I had never felt this before with someone else
This... weird sense of protection
Of feeling right.

"Adonis" I said breathlessly as he kissed down my neck, before he began to push my dress up my thigh
He wanted it off
And I wanted the exact same
I pulled back, dragging it up my body before he grabbed it, taking over and pulling it off me quickly

And I was left bare before him, as he began to kiss my chest, stopping above my bra and I swear I've never cursed one so hard before
I wanted to feel him
I wanted to feel him all over me
Inside of me.

"Adonis" I said again, dragging his lips back to mine
He stood up, staggering down the hall as we kissed in a hot lustful mess
"Here" I said in between kisses, pushing the door open

He carried me with him, sitting on the bed as I couldn't help myself any more and I began to grind myself against him.

"Fuck" he cursed, pulling my bra off before he lost himself in my chest
And I held onto his hair, unable to understand how he could be this good
He was a fucking dream
Licking, sucking, biting my nipples.

He stood up, lying me back on the bed as he kissed down my body, his lips warm against me
"Adonis..." I said, breathing heavily
He said nothing, before his hands hooked my underwear, slipping them down my legs
And I was left truly bare before him

I never cared about my appearance
Especially when it came to men
But as his eyes raked over my body, it felt like it was being set alight
Like my skin was burning from his eyes

I felt... vulnerable
I felt truly attractive to him from his gaze
Because his gaze reaffirmed his words
That I'm beautiful to him.
He grabbed my thighs, leaving open kisses over my skin before his tongue ran along my clit

And every experience I had before him fucking paled in comparison as I felt his tongue
As he turned me on with every single swipe, every lick
"Fuck... Adonis" I moaned, throwing my head back against the sheets, grabbing his hair

He couldn't be real
A guy like this couldn't actually exist
I had to have gone insane

"Say it again" he ordered, never letting up his movements
"Wha..."
"Say it again" he repeated, teasing me with his fingers

"Adonis" I repeated
He slowly pushed them inside of me, moving agonisingly slow as he watched me
And I watched him right back
Blue and Green battling for control

And I think I was losing.
No
I know I was.

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