May my heart be,
The softest place you fall,

May this love be,
The wildest place you run.

Saboohi

His long lashes kissed the high of his cheekbones, making me utterly jealous. His amber eyes hidden behind his slightly swollen eyelids. His once clean shaven face was now covered with his beard. That I loved.

Infact I loved him both ways, bearded and clean shaven.

But then, I loved him in all ways.

All ways possible.

And all ways known to human nature.

I smiled. My eyes heavy with sleep. But I couldn't stop staring at Jahan. The mere action so impossible to be lead to mechanism. My eyes wouldn't leave his face and my fingers wouldn't untangle from his warm ones.

It felt as if I was deprived of his features and now my energy would reconcile only by having a fill of his features into my system. I craned my neck up, so that my head was now against the headboard. And I stared as his eyebrows flicked up just a fraction on my mere movements. And then he was back to his deep sleep. Making me notice just the little amount of fat he had gotten on his cheeks. And the darkness that shadowed under his eyes.

I tightened my fingers around his, giving them a little squeeze. Before letting my eyes trail over to the open curtains that let the seeping sunlight cascade down on the floors. An involuntary sigh left my lips and I relaxed against the comforter.

I could feel my skin connecting with everything as much as my eyes did. And I smiled yet again as the day started to grow, bringing a new morning. And a new start.

Now that Jahan was here, I did not want to talk about how I overcame my panic attacks. I did not want to talk about the social support groups I sat in. I did not want to talk about how I lost the addiction for anti-depressants. I did not want to talk about how I behaved into my rehab sessions. I did not want to talk about all the times I screamed in terror in this very room. I did not want to talk about how Aunt Serina and Faraal helped me. I did not want to talk about how I cried every week in doctor Zeba's clinic. I did not want to talk about how hard it was to live through a single day.

Jahan wasn't there, but the problem was Jahan was there. He was with me all time, all along. Every second. His love made me fight all odds. His love was with me. His support was with me. And most of all he had put his trust in me. And for his sake, I couldn't back out. I couldn't give up. For I was promised a better future, a lovely home, a complete family. All the things I had ever wanted.

My butterscotch eyes momentarily returned to Jahan. Seeing the man blinking at me, making me part my lips in surprise at his awake state.

" You're awake."

I said almost uncharacteristically. Seeing the man nod at with with a small smile cornering around his lips.

" Yes Saboohi."

He added lazily as he stretched his arms and averted his eyes to the small rectangular clock over the night stand. His amber eyes returning to me and he smiled before lifting my hand to his mouth and placing a kiss on the soft of my hand. I smiled at the gesture, meeting his eyes.

" Everything okay?"

The man asked softly and my heart melted within it's cardial cavity. I blinked at him and nodded my head. Too dazed to let any words out. He reached his warm hand upto my face, stroking the outline of my cheeks and I leaned into his touch. Whilst his other hand remained enclosed in mine. His fingers grazed my skin delicately and I relaxed against the pillows, unknowingly inching towards him.

" I missed you so damn much that it took every ounce of energy to not return back to you."

His eyes bore into mine as he confessed and my eyes almost watered.

" I know."

Instead I breathed out, closing my eyes for mere seconds.

" But you know, Veronica was very supportive-"

My eyes snapped open and I jerked up in a sitting position. My eyes and expression turned into unbelievable notion and I halted at him.

Veronica?

The woman from New York?

" Veronica? Seriously Jahan."

My voice rose octaves as I huffed and snatched my hand away from his. He looked at me innocently and batted his lashes. His figure now sitting up besides me as well.

" Was very supportive, Saboohi. I couldn't even-"

" Oh then why are you here? I am sure you still need her support."

I snapped and rolled my eyes.

Men could never change.

" But I need your support now." He said in a small voice and reached for my hand which I snatched away.

" Don't touch me."

I hissed seeing the growing smile on his face which soon turned into a chuckle.

" Oh Saboohi. You should have seen your face. I was joking."

He laughed out loud and I glared at him. Reaching towards the soft cushion I smacked it over his face.

" Ugh Jahan, I hate your jokes."

The man gasped, throwing away the pillow from his face. His eyes turned dangerous as he reached for me and I successfully ducked away from him. I squeaked as he reached for me again and for the love of my freaking life, I slipped down the bed. Jahan groaned as he ran after me almost at a lightening speed. I sped around the bed as soft fits of laughter filled the room now.

I rounded the bed twice, Jahan hot on my tail as he chased me. I jumped down the bed looking for more escaped as he came behind me touching just the fabric of my shirt before I flee towards the writing table.

" Ayyee."

I laughed as he almost caught me but I squirmed away. The cushions from the couches landed everywhere in the room as we jumped over the furniture, up and down.

" I got you, hun."

The man stated as in a swoon of a moment he scooped me up. Giggles escaped my lips as he lifted me up in the air.

" Jahan."

I squealed loudly, tightening my arms around his neck. His melting amber eyes flickered down to me and I smiled sweetly at him. My cheeks hurt from all the smiling but damn I couldn't stop myself. His forehead leaned down to mine as he held me protectively within his arms.

" There's no Veronica. There's only Saboohi."

He whispered and I looked at him softly. Running my fingers over the nape of his thick neck.

" I know."

I whispered back letting him know that I knew he was playing. He grinned at me but a plan had already clogged my mind and I lazily leaned back in his arms, loosening my arms from around his neck.
" But Fareed was actually very supportive."

I smiled. Seeing the man's eyebrows drew together as he frowned towards me.

" Fareed?" He asked and I nodded eagerly.

" Yes Fareed. Remember the man I told you about from support group?"

I tried to make up the story seeing the man look down at me horrifically. His mouth twisting into a scowl.

" Saboohi."

He warned and I internally chuckled whilst batting my lashes at him.

" Was so supportive, Jahan."

I exaggerated and the man snapped.

" No."

He walked towards the bed and I gasped seeing his ferocity. He seemed to be a man on a mission and my heart lurched in my chest. He tossed me on the bed and I fell on the mattress bewildered. Gasping as he reached towards me and laid on top of me. His heavy weight tickling me all over.

" Jahan."

I complained seeing the man look down at me with a deep scowl.

" No. You're only mine."

He stated and I found it childish. But I bit back my smile.

" Don't be so ridiculous. And oh I am even inviting him to Faraal's wedding."

Jahan's scowl washed away and he leaned back, letting his weight slip sideways. Defeated, he pouted at me.

" Saboohi, you're mine. I am gonna kill this Fareed."

Oh my poor Jahan.

I laughed out this time and placed a hand over my stomach as it fluttered.

" Oh Jahan. Do you even know Fareed?"

I asked seeing him give me a confused look in return. Shaking my head, I spoke.

" Fareed is a ten year old who attended support group with me. And he was truly very supportive."

I cleared out remembering the little boy's green eyes and warm smile. Jahan sighed out and stroked my cheek.

" Ten years old or two hundred years old, your eyes should only be for me."

" My eyes are only for you."

I assured softly seeing the man grin.

" And your skin too."

He nuzzled down in the soft of my skin and a whole zoo errupted within my belly, fluttering sparks all around. His thick beard caressed over my skin and I closed my eyes.

" And your lips too."

He leaned back just so that he could look into my eyes. Different emotions washed over his face as my eyes flickered between his eyes and his nearing lips. His heart drummed loudly against mine and I involuntarily swallowed. With unwavering eyes he leaned down and just as his lips could touch mine, I turned my face away. The stubborn man turned his face away too making me turn it the other way.

Annoyed, he leaned back yet again and looked at me.

" Why wouldn't you let me kiss you?"

I giggled at his annoyed self and gently pushed him away.

" Bad breath baby."

I pointed towards my mouth and he sulked.

" I don't care." He muttered as he allowed me to slip past him. Only for him to follow behind me like a lost puppy.

" Where are you going?"

I asked quizzically.

" Where are you going?"

He asked in return and I facepalmed.

Walking towards the wardrobe, I pulled it open. My eyes raked over to the colourful clothing I had stocked in there. Before I could reach for a dress. Jahan's fingers trailed over to the hangers and his fingers smoothened over the fabrics.

" Wow. I am glad to see colours in your closet."

He expressed. His breathed hitting the side of my face as he stood besides me. Draping his arm around my shoulder. 

" Aw my baby."

I pulled his cheek, chuckling. Jahan's eyes remained on my clothes and he reached for the hanger that sported a purple dress. My eyes swam over the embellishments on the neckline and rose my eyes to his.

" Wear this. I want to see you in purple."

His amber eyes softened and I smiled taking the hanger from him.

" Okay."

Just as I wiggled away from his arm, he pulled at my elbow.

" Where are you going?"

I internally rolled my eyes. Cute Jahan was hard to handle.

" To shower."

" But-"

" And everyone would be waiting for us at the breakfast. You better hurry up as well."

I said and pushed him away playfully. A pout reformed on his lips and I ignored all cuteness he hinted towards me. Turning around, I walked to the bathroom.

•

Minutes later when I walked out of the bathroom, the room was spotless. The bed was made and the cushion fight we had was all cleared. My heart filled with so much love and I melted away at his gesture. My eyes scanned the room for him, seeing his out in the balcony.

Leaving him to be, I walked to the vanity. My eyes assessed the dress I wore thoroughly. The bright purple stood out against the colour of my skin. The peplum was fitted against the bodice and flowy on the down end. Small silver jewels and beads covered the round neckline and fitted sleeves, that ran past my elbows. The dress was completed with bell bottoms. The fabric fit against my thighs and the lower half was covered in matching printed fabric. I smiled, because I loved the dress. All thanks to Afaaf.

My eyes looked at my now brown hair that I had blow dried after showering. Twisting the front strands, I clipped them to the back letting the rest to cascade down my back. Searching through the drawers, I found silver bangles and slid them on my wrists. Wearing a matching lipstick, I left all other natural. Slipping into the silver flats. I walked to the wardrobe and pulled out the matching dupatta and draped it to the side. A soft enchanting fragrance dispersed through the air as I kept the crystal bottle of perfume back on the vanity.

" MashAllah."

I jumped in surprise as two arms snaked around my waist. And a body plastered behind me. I flickered my eyes to out reflection seeing Jahan stand behind me as he held me close. His eyes never leaving me.

" You look so wondrous babe."

My husband said and I averted my eyes as heat spread through the skin of my neck upto my cheeks.

" Thank you."

I said dismissively, not being able to bear the intensity of his gaze.

" I love you, my Saboohi."

He said and placed his head at the back of mine.

" I love you, Jahan."

I said almost immediately and turned in his arms. My eyes settled on his grey tee and I placed a hand over it.

" You should change, everyone would be waiting."

He nodded and gave me a quick peck. His arms untangled from around me and he walked away, his voice booming around the room.

" Just wait for me ten more minutes, we'll go down together."

I laughed at his antics and nodded.

We walked hand in hand down the stairs. True, everyone was in the dining room as breakfast was being served. We greeted and took our seats. Dadi Gul Jan looked at me knowingly and didn't say anything.

" Saboohi, the colours looks so good on you." Afaaf said as she walked in with a plate. Her hand landing on her hip as she smiled at me.

" Lets get you a purple dress for Bazid's wedding, no?"

Aunt Serina interjected and I smiled skeptically. But before I could speak, Bazid spoke himself.

"No, all the couples would wear colour coordinated clothing. Now imagine poor Jahan in a purple kurta? Chee!" He exclaimed and we laughed out. Jahan's faced turned red before he threw his napkin across the table on his cousin.

" We won't look that bad in a bright purple kurta."

A new voice added teasingly, as Zaryaab walked in. His little baby cradled in his arms. Before Jahan could stand up, Zaryaab walked forwards and lowered Maher in his arms. I looked in awe as Jahan held the baby. Delicately and carefully.

" He's so beautiful, MashAllah." The man spoke looking towards me and I nodded. My own hands wavering go Maher's little fingers. The baby slept, his cute little lips jutted out.

We started with breakfast and Jahan held his nephew all along the breakfast, filling my heart with warmth and more love towards him.

After breakfast, we sat down in the hall. Discussing about the festivities of Bazid's and Faraal's wedding. The invitation cards were being sent out and soon the house was all up and down. Afaaf and dragged the men out for shopping and we shopped all day long, leaving Mohid and Maher with Zaryaab and Jahan.

Days passed with the preparation, and we almost visited Bazid's house everyday. The days were filled with love, warm hugs, songs and dholak. And of course more shopping.

I flickered my eyes to Afaaf, seeing her henna filled hands as she showed them to me. Making me give her a thumbs up.

We had gathered at Bazid's house again tonight. His mother had called henna artist and had wanted all girls to get their henna done. I had tagged along with Afaaf but hadn't gotten any design on my hands because I simply didn't like henna. The last time I had gotten henna was on my own wedding and that too only for the sake of my wedding.

It was past midnight and almost the artist were done with their work. Aunt Serina was almost dozing off on the couch with Bazid's mum besides her. Tomorrow was the wedding, the big day. I smiled again at Afaaf was she stood up wobbly from all the sitting. Her embroidery maxi pooling on the floor.

" I think we should head home now."

She said suggestively and sat down besides me. I yawned.

" Yes please."

" Saboohi?"

Jahan peeked inside the room and I tilted my head to look at him. His eyes scanned the room before he walked inside.

" You did not get any henna on your hands?"

His voice had dropped octaves as he held my hand and looked at each side. I casted a quick glance at Afaaf before turning my gaze to him.

" No, I don't like henna."

" What?"

Clad in white kurta, his shoulders dropped and he looked at me with a sadness outlining his mouth.

" Yes-"

" But I like henna. Come-on we're getting you henna."

He hastily pulled me up as I looked at him in bewilderment. My cream white embroidered dress kissed against my legs as he walked us to the door.

" Afaaf, we'll be home late."

He said behind to the woman who chuckled in response. I frowned trying to meet his steps as he whizzed around the corridors. My eyes falling to Bazid and his boys who still sat talking and laughing. With music playing at the back.

" Where would we get henna right now Jahan, the artist have also left and it's pretty late outside."

I exclaimed as we stuttered down the front steps of the house. The lights illuminated the dark of the night. The house looked no less than a bride.

" We'll figure out something, Saboohi."

The man said, still ahead of me. And I almost sighed.

" The parlours would be closed. And the shops as well."

I tried explaining but he unlocked his car and eased me in with a broad smile on his face.

" If we get no one to do your henna. I'll personally do it myself."

He winked and blushed under his unbelievable teasing eyes. Rounding the car, he settled in and we hit the road. The shops were closed and so we're the parlours at this hour of the night. Satisfied, that my point was clear. I leaned against the seat.

" See, I told you."

I said as we drove through the town. Jahan shook his head.

" I am still not hopeless."

I rolled my eyes as he sang. The man pulled out his phone and dialled a number. For the next few seconds he spoke in rapid pashto, which went over my head.

" See, I told you."

He mimicked me this time. And I clasped my fingers together as he drove through unknown roads. We stopped before a dimly lit cottage and I skeptically looked at my husband who killed the engine.

" Come on now." He said before getting down the car.

I followed behind him, hiking up my almost bridal attire on the uneven pathway leading upto the cottage. Jahan knocked twice and the door swung open by a man that looked kinda familiar.

" Welcome in, welcome in."

The man before us said and Jahan swiftly wrapped an arm around me and pulled me besides him as we walked in. A veranda came into our view and Norie's smiling face who sat on the charpoy bed, waving at me.

My eyes lit up as I saw the woman months after.

" Norie make a small bunch of design here."

I snapped my eyes at Jahan who recklessly ordered the woman without a polite greeting. His finger making circles over the ventral side of my hand to make his point clear to Norie.

" Hi."

I smiled to Norie who smiled more wider.

" Sit." She said patting the space before her. And I did. Jahan pulled a stool from the side and sat on it just besides me. I looked at him with a smile and slid off my rings before handing them to him. He smiled at me and never removed his eyes. His hands clasped under his chin as he beckoned me with his eyes towards Norie.

The woman started her work and I felt the smell of henna precipitate in the air. Small round flowers started to bloom on my hands intricately and I looked at the skill of the woman. Soon she had filled my hand with a simple yet beautiful design.

" Um make that round thingy on this side."

Jahan interjected and Norie and I burst into giggling, making the man embarrassed. He was just so concerned about my henna that I could henna on my toes as well.

Half an hour later, Norie was done. And I smiled gladly at her and thanked her. We stood up to leave and my heavy dress being an obstacle made Jahan help me to the car. The car ride back home was filled with me teasing him. And he making fun of how much I was yawning.

When Jahan killed the engine in the driveway, neither of us attempted to get out of the car first. We just say there until our eyes met each other's. Jahan reached his hands and held mine. The henna had dried out a bit and I could see the rich colour that was taking over.

" It looks beautiful on your hands."

I smiled before mouthing.

" Thank you."

His amber eyes stared at me for the longest of times and he swept away the brown strands behind my ear.

" I could just keep on staring at you as you yawn. You even look beautiful doing such a small gesture."

I blushed in embarrassment before covering my open mouth. He tilted my chin up and I leaned closer. Inching towards in my seat, I leaned upto Jahan's face. Seeing the man close his eyes as I planted my lips over his. Pulling away with a quick peck, I sulked back in my seat.

" If I sleep, right here, right now. What would you do?"

I asked with droopy eyes.

" Mhm, I could carry you in my arms all the way up the stairs in hopes of not disturbing your sleep."

The man chuckled and I shook my head.

" You're so adorable, Jahan."

I said and stretched my hands out to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, making it easy for me to rest my head under his chin and over his chest.

" Sleep baby, I'll carry you upto the stars for your dreams."

I smiled through the haze of sleep and tightened my hand around his. Before falling in sleep, like falling in love.

•

So,

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