..I want a divorce..

..I want to marry Anant...

..you will arrange everything for MY marriage..

His hands trembled as he tried to hold on the last bits of self control on his sanity, trying not to break down there and then even though he felt his knees would give away any minute from now.

"D-Divorce..? ...M..M..Marriage..?" he gasped as his chest protested as he wasn't able to draw in the much needed air for a long minute..

"You're joking right?" he choked, his throat lodged with tears.

He placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her closer."Tell me this is just a prank..Please..You..you..won't do that to me,right? You..you would never.." he cupped her cheeks firmly as she protested "..you won't Khushi..You can't.." he pleaded resting his forehead against hers inhaling her jasmine scent to calm the rising panic that was brewing inside him..

He looked at her face trying to find any kind of humor..

But Khushi's face gave away nothing..not even a twitch of muscle, not a single flicker of emotion in her eyes except indifference and suppressed anger.

His fear rose.Panic turned into full blown trepidation.Bile rose up in his throat as he tried to come to terms with the gut wrenching fear of losing her.He would not take it..He would not be able to..He won't let her..If she wanted to punish him, she can do so with any other way except...anything except divorce...anything except this...He couldn't allow her to be someone else except HIS.Agreed he made mistakes, agreed he still wasn't forgiven, agreed he needed to earn her forgiveness but this was unacceptable..LIKE HELL he would agree..

With that ASR made a comeback after 2 years.His one dark side which she had taken away with her when he had pushed her away and that same side made a blasting comeback at her return.The return of real ASR.But alas! he was unaware of the resolve of the woman who has become his world..If he thought he would scare her with those angry glares then he had another thing coming..Because like before, Khushi gave a shit about his anger...

"I am not joking Mr.Raizada.Divorce papers will be ready by tomorrow and then I will sign them..Later you can sign them and finish it off once and for all...Ahhh.." she shrieked as she was roughly pulled forward causing her to crash onto his chest..

"I am not going to divorce you.Mai kisi paper pe sign nahi karoon ga..Some piece of f**king papers can't take you away from me...I have waited...for freaking two years, four months, four days and 33 minutes of my life to have just A GLIMPSE of you..Do you even know WHAT I WENT THROUGH IN THESE YEARS WITHOUT YOU??!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW IT FELT TO BE AWAY FROM THE PERSON YOU LOVE WITH ALL YOUR HEART?? HOW MUCH IT PAINED ME, CHOKED ME THAT I, MYSELF WAS THE REASON BEHIND ALL THIS??!!! Even knowing you were present under the same roof where I went to meet Arush every time, DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW MUCH IT HURT ME TO LEAVE FROM THERE WITHOUT SEEING YOU???! When i wanted nothing else than to go, grab you from your hiding place..hug you close to my heart and whisper apologies to you, beg you until you forgive me and take me back in your life..??" he continued to shake her, angry tears pricked his already moist eyes.He was shaking with utmost rage and sheer helplessness to make her understand her importance in his life.

Khushi's eyes did fill up at his confession but she had seen him apologize like this before as well..Days after THAT night when he forced her but what happened when she almost forgave him for that act?? He again went and believed that creep and pushed her out of his life when she was pregnant, even accused her of the shameful act which still give her shudders and pain.How much she tried to forget it, it just won't go...She knew better than to trust his words because he can change in minutes, crumple her heart in seconds, throw her out of his life in a spur of moment without even thinking...

"Khushi bitiya.." Nani's voice broke their trance.Khushi pushed him away and swiped a hand across her eyes to wipe those treacherous drops who just come out without any warning.

They both turned their heads and saw Nani, Mami, Mamaji, Akash, Payal, Garima and Shashi standing at the threshold of living room.Everyone had tears in their eyes and by the looks of it, it seemed they had heard everything.The both families knew a day would come when Arnav and Khushi would face each other and then the past would come out of its hiding to the surface and would laugh standing between these two and only the time would tell, who will win..? Their painful past, their horrible present or their underlying love which still was shining in the form of tears in their eyes..

But that love was blinded by betrayal in one's eyes while the same love was depressed under other's guilt..

"Khushi bitiya, you didn't tell us you were coming here to visit.It feels so great to see you in this house after a long time.."

"But i am not feeling anything close to being great standing here in the very same house from which i was thrown out without any fault of mine.." Khushi's reply was blatant.

Her answer stumped Nani and everyone present there.Raizadas knew they were also responsible for her sufferings because they too didn't listen her when she was begging that night to believe her that she was carrying Arnav's child not anyone's else.

"Bitiya.." Nani started.

"Please Naniji..I am not in a mood to listen to anything here.I am tired of hearing these sorrys.These apologies cannot wipe out the pain i went through...I am here for a very important cause and now that you all are here so its better.See Mr.Raizada, divorce k liye witness bhi humein yahin mil gaye..(We have the witnesses for the divorce as well here only.)" she said now again facing Arnav.

"Khushi, i am telling you that.."

"...that you won't divorce me?" she asked, her expression calm.

"Yes.."

"Are you sure Mr.Raizada?"

"Absolutely!..Khushi I.."

"Then fine, see you in the court.." she declared to which his eyes widened for a second before they took a calculative look.

"You know Khushi that i will win the case because i will move heaven and earth to keep you with me.."

"But i will do anything in my power to get myself out of this namesake relationship."

"You very well know Khushi, only a chance.That's all I need and i promise you won't regret it ever.."

"I am giving you a chance to redeem yourself by letting me go..I want to move forward and where the hell have gone your oh-so-high notion of your punishment?"

"I AM READY TO TAKE UP ANY PUNISHMENT..ANYTHING! EXCEPT THIS DAMMIT!!" he again gripped her shoulders, his eyes softening at the end of his outburst "..I can't see you with anyone else...Please maire gunahon ki itni bari saza mat do mujhe..." he whispered the last line looking into her eyes pleadingly.

"You are hurting just by the thought of me with someone else than what you think i must have gone through when you accused me of being someone else's mistress?"

His hands slipped off her shoulders as if he was burned...by her words.

"You said you're ready to take anything to earn my forgiveness.Then here is this chance.Divorce me.Free me of this relationship.Arrange my marriage with Anant." she turned towards everyone "You all were so sympathetic towards him seeing him punishing himself huh then gear up all of you because that was just a minute payback..Real punishment is yet to begin and prepare yourself because he will be at the dire need of your pity, at the end of this...If Mr.Raizada went through it without failure then I'll forgive him for everything he did with me since the time i met him.." she declared looking pointedly at Arnav who looked ready to pounce and also on the verge of breaking down..

Punishment...Now you will see what real sufferings meant Arnavji..She mused looking away from his face which could melt her resolve..

"Khushi Bitiya are you sure?" Her Babuji asked to which Khushi nodded with teary eyes.She knew her parents and Buaji will support her like they have done in the last years.

"Khushi.. can we talk in private..I want to say something.." he asked clearing his throat to which she nodded much to his surprise.

____________________________

Poolside.Their romantic heaven its once have been.So many good memories she had here that she felt nausea built up inside her.She stifled a gasp of surprise seeing how he had decorated it.The walls have pictures of her in red saree from their first diwali when he almost kissed her, her in green saree dancing in his embrace, her in pink skirt dancing a move of aik do teen from her jiji's sangeet, her in blue saree dancing on jiji tere jethji dewaane..And many more stills taking her breath away.

"I used to look at these snaps whenever it became unbearable for me without you in these years..This has become my solace.I would sit there on deck chair, look at those photos, remember memories the moment related to it and would smile, cry and laugh at the same time."

"I am so grateful to you for that..Thank you for missing me so much!!" her tone was sarcastic as if his pain didn't reach her or as if she didn't want to acknowledge it..

"Tum par mairi kisi bat ka koi asar nahi ho raha..(No words of mine are affecting you..)" he asked disbelieved at her nonchalant behavior.

"What have you done to MY Khushi..?" he asked softly pinning her to the wall where he had once almost kissed her.

"Excuse me she was NEVER YOURS!" she said looking away from his intimidating eyes who were boring into her soul stirring some buried emotions to the fore..

"You were, is and will always be MINE Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada!" he leaned on her breathing on her face.Khushi not being able to control herself closed her eyes.

"Aisa mat karo maire saath Khushi..Mai mar jaun ga..Please(Don't do this to me Khushi..I will die..)" he whispered huskily to which she opened her eyes in a snap.

"Hum bhi ussi din mar gaye the jab apne humein apne ghar se nikala tha(I also died the same day when you had thrown me out of your house..)..Why do you think should I come to the very same house...to the very same person just because HE IS GUILTY? HE IS REPENTING? YOU HAVEN'T even suffered a tiniest bit of what I HAD!!" she spat the words on his face.

He blinked his eyes furiously as they burned with the pain behind her words.

"You think, whatever you have decided will be my deserved penance?" he asked in a choke to which she swallowed and nodded looking away.

"You don't feel the same love which you confessed THAT day.."

She nodded a 'no' still not meeting his eyes.Her eyes teared up.

Very softly he wounded his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

"You don't love me anymore.."

Her moist eyes met his and she saw his eyes weren't dry either.

"No, I don't know.." she whispered back biting back a sob, her gaze locked at his collar.

"Is this what you want?" he asked in a hushed whisper.Even the blowing wind could be heard clearly around them.

"Hmm.." she nodded furiously.

"You will be happy..?" he asked watching her face closely.

"Leave me Arnavji.." she started struggling in his arms because his questions were disturbing her.

"Will you be happy..?" he repeated firmly holding her against himself.

"Ofco.." her eyes met his and she couldn't continue..

"Tum ye sab contract ki wajah se kar rahi ho na? Humari shadi ko abhi bhi aik contract maanti ho..Ye divorce issliye taa k tumhe hamare rishte se azadi...(You are doing all this because of that contract.You still consider that relation as a compromising deal.This divorce is because you want to end this relation. You will let this happen? You will let this relation b..)" he couldn't complete as the pain was cutting his being.

"Kaisa rishta? Apne humse shadi ki apni di k liye, unka rishta bachane k liye..Hum ne jo kiya wo shadi nahi dhoka tha, che mahine k liye humein sharte nibhani thi jo humne kiya...Ab to uss bat ko bhi saalo beet gaye..Ab divorce k baad..ye sauda khatam, shadi khatam aur baqi sab bhi..(What relation? You married me for your di, for saving her relationship..What we did wasn't a marriage, just a deception..I had to follow the conditions for six months which i did..Now its been years...After divorce, this contract will end, marriage will end and also everything else w..)"

"..khatam..(..will finish?)" he completed it rather hurtfully.

"Let me go.." she whispered trying to break free from his grip but he wasn't relenting.

"Does he love you..?" she stared up at him startled at the sudden question.

"He respects me" she replied truthfully looking up at him "..And that's enough for me..He values my position in his life. Its better to live with respect rather than THAT LOVE which gives you nothing but humiliation and pain.."

"Khushi..I." he cupped the side of her face "..I won't be able to see you with any..with anyone else.." he pleaded touching his lips on her forehead and murmured against her parting "..Even the thought of it is hurting and choking me..How do you think i will be able to go through it without breaking apart..? Don't do this ...Please"

She pushed him away breathing heavily and he was shocked to see tears in her eyes

"You wanted to give me a payment for what i suffered, right?! That's why you didn't come to see me in these years considering it as your penance! Even though i didn't have any idea of it..When i myself am giving you a punishment then why are you backing out now? Are you scared that you won't be able to go through it? Or is it hurting your ego that i choose someone else over you huh?!"

He pulled her closer harshly.

"I have already left my ego aside for a long time now..I don't want my egotistical nature now to ruin you or your present..You want to punish me like this..FINE!! I am ready...You want to see me suffer..FINE!! I am ready...You want me to di..divorce you..FINE!! I will...You want me to die each and everyday with the thought of you becoming someone else then FINE!! I am ready...You want me to...me to arr...arrange your marriage then FINE!! I will!! But in return i want you to do something for me.."

"..What..?" she asked blinking back the tears.

"Spend a day with me..Just a day. For i will live my remaining life reliving THAT day so that i could survive the rest of my life..Please..Will you?"

___________________

"Anant, please don't do this.I love you..I really love you.."

"Get off me..I loved you too with all my heart but what you did..? You betrayed me, lied to me, crushed me..Now when i am moving forward..You want to take that chance away as well..? You're so disgusting..You can't see anyone else's happiness except for yours...Its better i found out your truth early..otherwise i would have suffered my entire life with a girl like you.."

She stared at him shocked with broken demeanor.How could he forget all that what they shared and marry some other girl?

"Anant..Please sorry..I am really sorry..I didn't want to lose you that's why i did all that..Please forgive me..I really really am sorry..Make me suffer as much as u want but please don't marry..please.."

"I have already made my decision and unlike you i never break my promises.I have promised Khushi that i will be by her side for as long as she wants and i won't let her down ever..She has been through much..not anymore!" he took his blazer from his office chair and scurried out without even glancing back.

As soon as he came out his phone rang.He answered it, his lips curving into a smile.

"Hi Khush.."

"Hello Anantji, I need to tell you something.."

"Yes what is it?"

"He asked me to spend a day with him then he will accept whatever i am saying.." she said straight forwardly.

Anant knew of whom she was talking "Do you want to do this Khush?"

"Anantji.. You know..I.."

"One minute Khush, we both know everything about each other.So you don't need to hide anything.Be honest and tell me.."

"I just don't know..I wanted to punish him for what he did..I am ready for everything..But the way he asked me today..I just don't know.." she cried out, biting back a sob.

"You still love him, don't you?" Anant asked calmly.He already knew the answer but he wanted her to confirm it.

"I don't want to talk about Love anymore..I want to be practical..No such things exist.."

"But they do exist Khush..You can deny as much as you want but the truth is truth..You fell in love and even me too..We both faced our heartbreaks and that's the proof that IT exists...Love do happens...Otherwise why would it have hurt us so much if we didn't had cared for them huh..?!"

To this Khushi started sobbing silently. "Khush, where are you? Hmm Okay.I am coming there.."

_______________________

Anant Singh Rajput was a famous pediatrician in Delhi; a simple guy, tall, handsome and good at heart.He met Khushi through his mother Naina Singh Rajput who was Khushi's gynecologist in her starting trimester when she was pregnant with Arush.When Khushi left Delhi and moved to Lucknow, Dr.Naina helped her to consult her friend there.Khushi met Anant when he came to Lucknow for some medical camp and later got to know that he was her doctor's son as Anant has once seen her in his mother's cabin when she went for an appointment.

Later she got to meet him when she went to Delhi after Arush's birth to meet Dr.Naina who has become very close to her.

After that everything was a blur, she don't know when they became good friends.When she told him, her whole story.How he got closer to Arush.Everything happened so sudden and so smoothly that she never had a time to ponder.Now it been years of their friendship.She remembered clearly how he broke down one day an year ago telling her how a girl hurt him by saying lies after lies.She did gave him support and words as a friend.Interesting thing was that she and Anant never told the name of the persons they loved.

"Khush.." Anant's voice brought her back from past and she gave him a teary smile standing up from the wooden bench.

He gave her a friendly hug and they both seated themselves on the bench.

"She came to my office today.."

"I went to meet him at his home today.."

They both spoke at the same time and then shared a mirthless laugh.

"Don't you think we are giving them so much importance by talking about them even though we should hate them.." he asked looking sideways at her.

"What can we do? This past.." she sighed "Leave it..What did she say?"

"Sorry and all bullshit.As if i will believe her" he spoke angrily.

"He too said sorry.."

"Khush, are we doing the right thing?"

"I don't know..All I know is that I spent my whole life trying to do the right thing always but it always turned out worst.For this time i don't want to think what is right and what is wrong...I just want to go with the flow..Lets see what's destiny planned for me?"

"Hmm.Will you be able to punish him? See him suffer?"

"What if i ask you the same question?"

He shrugged "Sometimes i really want to believe that she has changed you know.But whenever i remember that day when she.." he clenched his fists.."She made me a fool.I fell into her each and every trap.." he gritted out, his eyes glistening.

Khushi put a hand on his shoulder "Me too..Today his every word seemed honest but i don't have strength to trust him again...Believe him again.."

"So you will agree with his condition..?"

"I..yes..Yes i think i will." she smiled up at him to which he nodded in understanding.

___________________

"I can't live without him.Please do something...Please Chote.."

"Di who are you talking about? Tell me? And why the hell i don't know anything about him?"

"I am sorry Chote.I wanted to tell you but...please understand.Don't let this marriage happen."

"Di you know i already agreed.If Khushi is ready then so am I..I know it..it will be difficult but if she wants this then she will get it.."

"Chote..can't you understand.."

"Di, first tell me who is that guy? What is his f**king name? I need to check his whole background first because i don't want to take any chances this time.."

"Chote he is really nice.."

"Di name..?" he asked already dialing Aman's number.

"Anant Singh Rajput.." she announced and his phone slipped from his hand.

_______