I did not proofread this chapter yet, so if you see a mistake, feel free to correct me.

I felt sorry for my smaller twin, he's been through so much, yet he hides it all. Watching the tears roll down his cheeks, I wished that he'd show this side of him more often. Albeit, these tears were happy, but overall, he was showing more emotion than usual. I wish he would talk to me, confess what was on his mind. Instead, I usually get a fake smile and 'I'm okay.' To think that this charade has been going on for years... I'm an absolute idiot for not noticing sooner. The small things that he does; pick at his nails, tilt his head so his bangs cover his eyes, letting other talk before him, he's always been like that, but that doesn't mean I should've overlooked it completely.

Rin was still clutching Sam's shirt, our family friend had no idea what torment my brother lived with either, but he had the excuse of not being as close with the teen. My blue eyed twin rubbed his face, wiping the tears away. He pulled away and smiled up at Sam, who chuckled and ruffled his raven hair. "I'm glad you're happy for me, Rin-kun, it means a lot."

He cleared his throat, "yeah," a small smile still played on his lips. How long would the smile be there? What amount on my part or anyone else's would it take to lose that happiness? Would we even be able to tell? He's been acting for nine years, and he's way too good at covering up his problems.

I blinked through my oblivion, my students moving toward a few of the pews. "So," Sam stated in an offhandish manner, "how was today?" I quickly darted my eyes to meet a few eyes of my peers. They seemed just as perturbed as I was about the subject. My eyes wandered over to the reason, who opened his mouth and spoke before any one else could.

"It was alright, eventful to say the least." I scrutinized him, was he acting again? I wasn't looking at him for awhile, did he shift his demeanor already? I sighed to myself, wishing that I knew my own brother a little bit better.

"Oh?" Sam looked confused for a moment, "the trial? You all seem to be in a good mood, so is it safe to assume...?"

Rin chuckled, "he's guilty and he's going to prison. We don't know how long, though. The judge stated something about that being figured out on another date." Sam nodded and looked at Rin, a small glint of confusion in his eyes.

"Are you okay, Rin?"

Thank God, someone finally asked it. I know I should've been the one, but I've been asking that question far too much lately. I feel as though it's wearing Rin down. Said brother huffed, "yeah, I'm fine, a bit shaken, but fine." I stared at him, unsure about this answer. The others seemed apprehensive as well, and Shiemi spoke her concerns.

"We're serious, Rin, are you actually okay?" Her green eyes shined with worry, and it hurt me that she was so troubled by this.

"I'm serious guys, I'm fine," he laughed, "thanks for your concern though." He smiled and most of my students relaxed, however, I couldn't do such a thing. He had everything down to a tee, but between his shift of expressions, I saw a flicker. Goddamn, he was too good at this, his smile reached his eyes, his voice was confident, but just how bad is the storm behind this act?

"No you're not," I said without thinking, and everyone turned their eyes to me. "You're lying, again," my companions seemed shocked that I'd think such a thing, but they didn't know, they didn't look hard enough. I stared down my shorter twin, "you're not okay, are you?" He opened his mouth, but I quickly cut him off, "and if you dare say 'I'm fine,' I'll need you to give me an in depth report on just how fine you are." Yikes, that probably sounded a bit harsh, and I felt a bit like a teacher when I spoke it. However, that seemed to break through his facade.

He huffed and averted his eyes from everyone's gaze, "I don't wanna talk about it, can't we just move on?" I felt a small sense of satisfaction from my victory, but I pushed it down.

Sam spoke up before I could, "why do you have to hide this from us? You've hidden so much already, wouldn't it be nice to have a change?" Rin sighed and didn't answer, making the older man scowl. "By hiding the way you feel, you're only making it worse for you and the others around you. Especially your brother, how do you think he feels?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," he sounded desperate and I was about to stop Sam from pushing the topic, but he was not hesitating.

"You need to talk about it, Rin-kun," an altar boy walked by and I met his gaze. He seemed to notice the built up emotion in our little group and scurried up the stairs. Sighing, I returned my gaze to the problem at hand, opening my mouth to quiet the issue.

"I feel horrible," it wasn't my voice that broke through the silence, however. Rin remained still as he spoke, "what if we did this all wrong? What if this comes back to bite me?"

"W-What do you mean, Rin?" That was Suguro, the delinquent-looking teen shifted in his seat, eyes worried.

"... I don't wanna talk about this...."

"Rin."

I shot a glare at Bon, now he was pushing the topic? Could they all see that my brother was on the verge of breaking down? Do they not care at all? The teen ignored my gaze and continued dragging out the situation. I had half a mind to stand up and shake some sense into everyone in the room. How would they feel if they were pressured into answering uncomfortable questions? I'm damn sure they'd shut down completely.

"He was a good man," I was shocked out of my anger filled daze by Rin's monotonous tone. My eyes flickered over to his slumped form, his eyes dully staring at the floor. "As a priest, he was amazing. He was great with people and guided them through rough times." Everyone remained silent, shocked silly by the boy's confession. "So what if he abused me? I'm just a demon born in Assiah, I don't belong here. My kind harass and torment humans all the time, but now that a human has done something horrible to a demon, now it's a bad thing...?"

Shima was the first one to break the silence, "are you actually siding with that monster?" My eyes quickly darted over to the pink-haired boy, whose eyes flashed in anger. "Rin, have you absolutely lost your mind?"

As if on cue, my raven-haired brother chuckled, "maybe."

"What you just said is ludicrous, we are exorcists, Rin, we hurt demons, too. But you're human, too, and just a kid, that's why Naito is a horrible man." I nodded my head, agreeing with my student.

Rin's eyes wandered over us, his clear blue irises muddled by the numbness he no doubt felt. "I'm only half human, I'm a creature, just like he is. I'm only a weapon, and even those get tossed to the side after awhile." I ground my teeth and had the urge to yell at him, but I kept my zipped. "What's it matter if he used me all those times, it's not as though I didn't deserve it."

It was quiet for a moment, then Sam broke the air, "just... how many is 'all those times?'" Rin stayed quiet and even I found myself needing to know the answer. I was once given an answer, but today, he gave the court a different one. I shot my brother a look, about to interrogate him, but Shiemi piped up.

"Did... didn't you say something like sixty, Rin? In the courtroom, today...?" Rin chuckled and I flinched, however, he didn't say anything.

Finally, I spoke up, "you told me that it was a maximum of twenty, Rin... why did you lie?"

The laughter got slightly louder and he shifted, looking us in the eyes. "So, were doing this now? You guys seriously want to know? Ha, fine, should I go through it detail by detail? Would that be good enough to suffice? Or do you need my personal identification as well? Or why don't I just spill everything right now, that way there's no questions later." Oh god, he was entirely spent, he was done with this. I felt guilt build inside me and I swallowed hard. "Lets see, it started when I was seven, and Naito stayed a full week that year... he used me three times that year. That was the start."

"Nii-san-"

"The next year, Naito stayed for six days I think, but he knew he had me in his grasp, so he fucked me five times. Oh, and the next year was even worse! He stayed a full week and it happened seven times." He waved his hands around, almost in a frantic or desperate manner. "I know what you're thinking, but it didn't happen every day. No, there were times where he used me twice, even three times in a day, and that fucking hurt the next morning, let me tell you."

"Nii-san, calm d-"

"When we were ten, it was the first time Naito stayed longer than a week, it was only a day, but it was fucking hell." His eyes flashed with unchained emotions and I became paralyzed for a moment, dread striking me. "The next year, he stayed a week, and fucked me nine times, nine times. You have no idea how hard it was to keep that a secret. How did no one notice my absence? Why didn't anyone come looking for me or him??"

My voice was strangled, "Nii-san, I'm so sorry..." he continued to gesture wildly, his eyes reflecting just how much he'd been suffering for the past decade.

"And my god," his eyes flashed once again, "when I was twelve. It was supposed to be his last year, and he knew that. He fucking knew it and didn't hold back. He stayed here for eight days - and he used me fourteen times!" Tears flooded his cheeks and it shocked me out of my paralysis. Standing up, I quickly made my way over to him. He flickered his pained eyes up to me, "how many days is that?" I shook my head and he shoved me away, "how many days is that?!"

I chewed on my lip and quickly did the math, "he stayed here forty-eight days, Nii-san."

His breathing was ragged and his eyes grew wide, "forty-eight.... its the same number, one for every day...." he dropped his hands, no longer fighting against me. I sat next to him and pulled him to me, his tear soaked cheek laying against my shirt. "And that's just how many times he's fucked me..."

I hugged him close, his entire body was shaking, and it sent daggers into my heart. "It's okay, Nii-san, it'll never happen again, I promise you."

He buried his face even deeper and I tilted my head back, staring at the ceiling. He muttered something, but it was muffled by my clothes. I hummed and he pulled away, rubbing his eyes. "This is why I don't want to tell you these things, we both hate it."

I hushed him and he nodded, continuing wiping his tears. "I don't hate the fact that you've told me, I hate the fact that you've had to suffer in silence for so long." I gave him a gentle smile, "I'd hate it if you didn't tell me these things." He nodded and I made sure that he looked at me when I gave my request. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me right away. And I understand the pressure I just put on you, so don't worry. Take your time, but please, promise me that I will eventually know everything."

He smiled, recalling how I'd once said those very words before. He nodded, "I-I will, I promise you, Yukio."