don't leave me, darling.

don't say you'll be back. that's the last thing i want to hear. don't say you'll stay either.

when you say that you're leaving, i can already feel tears forming.

"i'll be back. just wait." she said. i was happily listening, with a smile on my face. i thought she was happy too.

i heard her hang up. i waited and waited for that call back. it's been over ten months now. i'm still waiting.

'but it's okay now! she can't hurt you anymore.'

i must be really fucked up then.

why do i crave this pain that i hated? hearing her talk about me, seeing her hurt that boy like that... telling me that i'm faking my own emotions.

i miss it. it's the only thing i can remember from her... the only thing i knew. i can't even begin to remember when it was happy.

i want it back.

is that a bad thing?