A/N: So hi! Sorry it took me so long to update. I was busy with my life. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

"I'M good to go" I said to myself while looking at my reflection in the mirror.

I felt good these past few months that I've been staying here in Italy. I started making my life without aligning my future with Natsu. I started to build a new future without him after having closure. That was the last time I've seen him because I distance myself from him.

With regards to Sakura's wedding gown, I asked my new secretary to personally deliver it in Japan, months ago. Not because I was avoiding him, it is because I can't leave Lilian alone.

She's pregnant. She announced it while I was crying because we already had a closure. Imagine my surprise when she announced it while I was broken hearted. I almost had my heart attack!

"Couz, are you heading out?" I stop on my track and turn my head to look at my cousin.

She is still wearing her nightgown and her baby bump is now visible. Well, she's seven months pregnant "I need to go to 'Lucienne'. The materials are being delivered today so I had to be in there to check"

Lilian nodded "Okay" she said sleepily "Will you be okay on your own?" she asked me worriedly.

I rolled my eyes to her "I'll be fine. Worry about yourself. It looks like you swallowed a whole watermelon"

She rolled her eyes "Probably because baby Luna is big so my baby bump is also big" she said sarcastically.

Right. We had an ultrasound last week and we finally know the gender of my niece. We have also bought a few things and the two of us have also set up the nursery room for baby Luna. Anyway, Luna's full name is Lucille Natasha Park - Luna for short.

"I'll just send Lucas here to check on you," I said.

She winced, "Why?"

"Because you're pregnant" I replied.

"I know I'm pregnant," she put her right hand on her waist "But I don't know why he still needs to come here. My baby is being healthy and I'm healthy too"

During her fourth month of pregnancy, Lilian got spotted and we almost lost baby Luna. I didn't know what to do at that time so I called someone on my phone to ask for help. And for all the people, I called Lucas who was in Canada just to say 'need help'. He flew back to Italy - completely cancelling all his appointments for a week.

And since then, Lucas was helping me take care of my stubborn cousin.

"Just listen to me, Lilian!" I narrowed my eyes to her "It's for Luna!"

She pouted her lips "Fine Mama Lucy!" she said sarcastically. I laugh and went to her and patted her head "I'm not a child you know"

"I know" I chuckle "I gotta go. I'll just bring you some Bavarian on my way home," I looked at the door when suddenly the doorbell rang, "I think Lucas is already here. I'll go now, okay. Breakfast is already ready, Couz. Take your vitamins too. And do some light exercise"

"Just go, Couz" Lilian said with a tight smile "I'll be fine. Like what you've said, Lucas is here"

I opened the door to Lucas and talked to him for a while - about my stubborn cousin.

Lucas chuckle and lightly patted my head "Just keep going, Lucienne," he said softly "I'll take good care of her, I promise"

I beam at him "Thank you, Lucas"

"Anything for you, Lucienne" he said, winking at me.

As I told my cousin, I went to 'Lucienne'. I checked all the materials being delivered, held a meeting with my head, checked the orders, read all the documents being presented to me by my secretary and of course signed lots of papers. By afternoon, I had some interviews regarding my business and my work as a model and of course photo shoots.

It was almost night when I finished my work so I decided to go home. I first went through Krispy Kreme to buy Lilian's Bavarian. The moment I went home I saw Lucas preparing our dinner while my cousin was watching some Korean drama on Netflix.

I went directly to my cousin and gave her the Bavarian before I went to the kitchen to help Lucas.

"I can handle this, Lucienne," he said softly, "I know you are tired. You can take a rest" he said.

I smile at him "I'm fine, Lucas. I'm not that tired" I just don't want to stop from whatever I'm doing. I need to be busy.

He stared at me for a moment before he let out a sigh "How I wish I can do what he can do to you," he said which made my eyes grow wider "but I can't..." he mumbled almost like a whisper.

"He's getting married" I said bitterly "but I'm fine as long as he's happy" Lucas stared at me as if reading my mind. I smiled at him and patted his shoulder lightly, "I'm really okay" I said "Though, it still hurts but I'm okay"

He didn't answer me right away - so I stared at him - waiting for whatever he would say.

"Say, Lucienne" he said softly "Would you like to try going out with me?"

I blink my eyes twice before I open my mouth to speak but I eventually close it because my words failed me. Lucas smiled at me before he patted my head "you don't need to be surprised like that" he said with a laugh.

"I..." I clear my throat before I continue "Are you seriously asking me out, Lucas?" I said in disbelief. He shrugged as an answer but the smile never left his lips "Why? I don't understand"

He tilted his head to the side, "Do I really have to answer that question, Lucienne?" he said innocently.

"I'm also not sure if I want to hear your answer" I said absentmindedly.

Lucas laughs "Damn, you are so adorable!" He compliments me which makes me blush a little.

I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't find my own voice. It wasn't the first time I ever heard that compliment. Natsu used to say that to me too.

Our memories suddenly came back as if it had happened only yesterday. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I felt suffocated. I breathed through my mouth and I saw how Lucas reacted to my reaction.

I can feel that my whole body is trembling. My mouth felt dry.

"Lillian!" I heard Lucas shouting but it felt so far. Why do I feel like this?

I touched my chest because it feels like someone is squeezing it. Gradually my vision blurred and my knees weakened.

I felt Lucas holding me - I couldn't understand what he was saying but I just felt him lift me up.

And that was the last thing I remembered.

When I opened my eyes, I immediately saw the familiar ceiling of my bedroom. I can't remember what happened, I slowly travelled my eyes around and I immediately frowned when I saw the dextrose attached to my arm.

I groaned when I felt my heartbeat racing so fast. I tried to move my hand but it felt like I wasn't connected to my body. I blew through my mouth because I couldn't breathe properly.

"Lucienne!" I heard my cousin's voice.

"I can't breathe!" I beat my chest as if it helps to ease my feeling "I can't breathe!" I cried, "Lilian!"

I heard her shouting outside my room as if she was calling someone who can call me. After a few minutes - I saw Loki and Jellal together with a woman who looked exactly like Lisanna. I couldn't hear them properly, the woman injected something on the dextrose and I gradually lost my consciousness.

When I opened my eyes once again, it was already morning. I felt a little bit better than last night, but still I can feel my heart tighten.

"Are you feeling better, Lucy?" I heard a familiar voice say. My eyes automatically find the sources of that voice and I instantly tear up. Jellal's eyes softened before - he approached me and sat at the edge of my bed "I miss you too" he said before he pulled me into a hug.

I sob "I miss you so much!" I cried like a baby.

"Shh! It's okay" Jellal soothed me "C'mon, we haven't seen each other for about four years, Lucy" he said playfully.

I didn't bother answering him and I just hugged him tightly. It took me five minutes to finally calm myself before I looked at him properly. Jellal is looking at me patiently before he reaches my cheeks and gently wipes the tears on my cheek "When did you arrive?"

"Last night," he said gently, "it was chaos... because you passed out. I thought I was able to surprised you"

"What brings you here?" I ask softly - still trying to calm myself.

"I was wondering if you want to see Natsu" he said carefully.

My mouth instantly dried, I opened my mouth to speak, "I'm sorry," I said embarrassed.

"I wasn't sure why I'm feeling like this" I opened my mouth to continue but my words were blocked by my own sobs, "I feel like I'm dying every time I remember him. I love him but he can't be with me anymore. Natsu is coming next month. And... I can't... I don't think I can handle it" I said crying.

"Lucy-"

"I might ask him not to marry her" I confessed which makes Jellal eyes wide "I don't want to be selfish, Jellal," I shook my head "I can't see him but if he insist... then maybe I'll try but I can't promise and I really hope that he will understand me. "

Jellal stares at my eyes before he lightly patted my head as if he was silently telling me that he understands me.

Jellal smile at me sadly, "He will always understand you, Lucienne"

Hearing what Jellal said made me realize how selfish I am. Natsu always understands me but I never did the same to him. Natsu always supports me but I never did the same.

I'm a selfish bitch who always thinks about herself. Maybe this was the reason why we are not meant for each other.

Because Natsu Dragneel deserves more than me.

|| T W O Y E A R L A T E R ||

I'm standing in front of a big Christmas tree. Everyone seems busy but here I am staring at the tree as if it will clear my mind. It's been a week since I returned to Tokyo, Japan but I never reached out to my friends because I don't know what to say.

I blew through my mouth as I covered half of my face with my scarf. I was planning on admiring it for another minute when I heard a familiar voice calling out my name.

"Lucy?"

My eyes wide open and I turned my head to my side. My mouth instantly parted the moment our eyes had met. It feels like - time has stopped.

He smiled at me warmly "I knew it! It was you, Lucy!" he said happily.

"Natsu!" I breathe through my mouth.

He smiled widely and then he gently patted my head "I thought, I was hallucinating because I miss you so much. But it turns out that you were real" he said happily.

I stared at his face for a few minutes - memorizing all those changes that happened to him while I was away. I chuckle, before I remove my scarf on my neck and carefully put it around his neck.

"Are you happy?" I ask him.

"I am," he said without hesitation.

Seeing him like this makes me realize that staying away from him was the good decision I'd ever made in my life.

____________________ End of Chapter #17