I CAREFULLY wrapped the scarf around his neck as I felt his eyes staring at my face as if he was memorizing each and every part of my face. When I finished, I look up at him and smile. Natsu smile at me as well as he remove his gloves and put it in my hand.

My mouth parted with his action and I was about to snatch my hands, Natsu held it tight but still gently – as if he was afraid to hurt me.

"Natsu, you don't have to—"

"You put your scarf to me," he said as if that was enough reason for him to do this "I don't want you to die from cold, Lucy"

I snorted "That's too exaggerating, Natsu" I mumbled under my breath and let him do what he wanted to do, "Aside from that, it's not that cold" I said because honestly speaking, I don't feel anything.

Natsu smiled at me warmly "Lucy, you hate winter as much as you hate summer" my mouth slightly opened, I wasn't able to respond to him "Would you like to dine with me? I'm starving to death" he said slightly pouting his lips on me.

I bit my lower lips – I wanted to refuse his invitation but I found myself accepting his invitation. Natsu had brought me to the nearest food bazaar in which some people are probably staying to celebrate Christmas Eve.

Natsu looks at me worriedly, which makes me frown "What? Is there something wrong, Natsu?" I asked worriedly.

Natsu shyly combed his hair using his fingers, "Are you okay to dine here, Lucy?" he asked me.

I frowned at his question. I opened my mouth to ask but little by little I also understood when I saw him looking around.

I laughed softly before I took his hand "Come on, let's choose what we're going to eat. It's been a while since we've been in a bazaar, Natsu" I smile widely "Let's enjoy this, shall we?"

He didn't answer me but instead he stared at my face. I felt him squeeze my hand which caught me off guard. I look at our hand before looking at his face. He was looking at me too, with a small smile on his lips.

"Shall we?" he asked me.

We started buying things to eat, then we sat down near the stage which was being prepared for tonight's performance. We talked about lots of things about our life. Natsu had been telling me stories that I didn't know about our friends. He even mentioned to me that Loki will be a father soon.

We talked for I don't know how long. And it felt good. Just being with me like this is enough to take all the pain I had kept on my heart for too long. After we ate our dinner, I told him that we could drink for tonight and he agreed. He bought tons of cans of beer and some food for us to eat while watching the performance.

Natsu asked me when my flight back to Italy and I answered him without a delay. I even told him the reason why I returned to Japan.

"I'm taking care of the paperwork for grandma's house. I plan to transfer ownership of it. Besides, I also bought land to build my house on."

"Do you have any plans to come back here and live, Lucy?" he asked.

I shrugged and leaned back in my seat "I don't know" I mumbled under my breath. I don't know if I can stay in a place where I know there's a possibility of meeting you, Natsu.

I can't stay here yet. It still hurts to think that you won't be mine.

"Anyway, how are you?" I ask with a smile that I practice countless of times "You got married, didn't you? I'm sorry I wasn't there to witness your wedding," I said smiling but I couldn't look at his eyes. "How's marriage life?"

He did not immediately answer my question. So I looked at his face. There was some emotion underlying his eyes that I could not understand. He took the can of beer from the table and opened it, then he drank and laughed softly.

"Actually, I didn't," my lips parted as I looked at him "or should I say, I couldn't" he said almost like a whisper.

What he said was like a bomb to me. I wasn't expecting him to say that.

"Just after the wedding dress arrived, my fiancée got into an accident. When she was crossing the street, a car ignored the signal and hit her. By the time they got her to the hospital. She was already..." he suddenly stopped talking as if he realized something. 

He looked at me and smiled "Sorry for putting a damper on the mood, Lucy"

I couldn't speak, because I didn't know what to say. I wasn't expecting that...

Natsu raised his hand and gently caressed my cheeks before smiling softly "You don't have to cry, Lucy" he said softly. He chuckled, "Why are you even crying?"

I wiped away my tears and touched both of his cheeks. He just looked at me as if he couldn't believe what I did, "Lucy—"

"I'll cry for you. I'm ready to take all the pain you're carrying by yourself," his eyes wide open as his mouth parted with my sudden remarks "You don't have to pretend you're not hurt, because I'm here, Natsu. I'm ready to be hurt for you"

Natsu smile at me before he held my face with his two hand, and then he presses his forehead to mine "Thank you, Lucy"

My eyes clouded again with my own tears. I felt him touch the end of my hair and put his forehead on my shoulder. We stayed like that for about ten minutes before he speak.

"Lucy?"

"Yes?"

"Could you stay with me just a little longer?" he mumbled.

I might hurt myself again but I'm willing to be hurt as long as I can support him. I'm willing to risk my wounded heart. 

____________________________ End of chapter #18

a/n: So this is the last day of my class with my students so I was able to update this story. I'll start writing my stories after finishing my commitments until Dec. 25, 2021. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter even if its short. 

And oh, happy holidays every one. 

Khiegilsan