It has been snowing for the past couple of weeks. It's 4 inches deep, pavements and roads were slippery and icy. Weather forecasts are never reliable. They said it would snow four weeks ago, but it was only clouds and rain. But now, it really was snowing. It snowed on Jaehyun hyung's birthday, which was fun. We sent over cards, presents and a birthday video for him since we were busy preparing for our comeback and they were busy getting ready to leave for their world tour. I hope Mark and Haechan threw snowballs at him for me. 

     Our new album dropped last week, and we have been busy recording the live stages for Inkigayo and Music Bank. We had just finished this weeks Music Bank performance. I was the last one to leave, the others had already returned back to the dorm. 

      Despite the fact that the others went back nearly an hour ago, fans were still waiting outside to see me off. I began to debate with myself whether or not to go live this evening and tell them off for waiting so long in the snow and risk catching a cold. 

     I smiled and waved to them, bowing as I was ushered into the car. My manager got into the passenger seat next to the driver while my bodyguard got in the back with me. 

     "They must really love you if they're waiting in the snow like that. Some of them don't even have hats or gloves on," My bodyguard said, looking out the window as the car began to pull away. 

      "I know. Should I go live to tell them off?" I leaned my head back, closing my eyes. 

   His bodyguard laughed. "They would dismiss your worries and begin to tell you to look after your own health. I think fans are beginning to notice your weight loss and tiredness," He said.  

     "Hyung, I'm fine," My heart jammed in my throat. My bodyguards are the only ones who I call 'hyung' nowadays. 

     He sighed. "Keep telling yourself that. Taeyong, Mark, Haechan and Johnny have been telling me to keep an eye on you. They'll fire me if I don't do my job," He said. 

      I opened my eyes. "They really said that?" I asked, turning my head towards him.

  He nodded. "So you better start eating more and getting enough sleep, otherwise, I'll report them and they'll force-feed you themselves," He joked. 

      I chuckled. To be honest, I could imagine my hyungs doing that, sitting me down at the table and watching me to make sure I finish all the food they've set out. 

   I looked towards my manager in the front seat. He was busy looking at his iPad, checking my schedules. 

     "NCT 127 have just arrived in New York," My bodyguard spoke up again.

    "That's good, it's been a while since they last had a world tour," I said, "International fans will be so excited."

     "Here, watch this," My bodyguard handed me his phone with a video of the reception at JFK Airport.

     I almost laughed out loud. 

  Mark hyung was wearing a really furry, bright red hat. Looking at them all, I could see that they were wrapped up really well. Jungwoo hyung was wearing a relly large jacket that seemed to swallow him up. Haechan hyung called me the day before, saying that they didn't know if they would be able to go on the world tour because of the snow, but thankfully, their flight wasn't cancelled, it was just delayed.

      Watching the video, I noted on how crowded it was. Security guards and personal bodyguards were completely surrounding them, making room and space for the members to walk. 

    "There is no way to prepare the younger members for this kind of reception," My bodyguard sighed, "it will be alarming and scary the first time for them."

      "It's scary and alarming every time we go to an airport," I mumbled, handing back his phone. 

     I began to look outside the window at the passing building and shops. The snow had began to fall again, not heavy though. 

     Going to airports was on of the scariest moments in our career as a whole. The extreme fans rushing and crowding around you, feeling helpless and vulnerable. Your lives and the lives of the staff and of other people could be at stake.  It was also very uncomfortable. People shoving you, touching you, sticking their phones in your face. And when we get on the plane, we still can't escape from them as some saesangs always manage to find out about our flight numbers and book tickets to be near us. 

     I was happy to see our fans, but not like this. Not when they're invading our privacy and making us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I wonder why we had to announce the fact that we would be leaving, and just travel privately. It would make our lives so much easier. 

     I was pulled out of my thoughts when we stopped at a red light. We were nearly at the dorm, just two or three blocks away. 

     Looking around I could see little kids running around, playing in the snow. People shopping, friends hanging out and having fun. 

      When I arrive at the dorm, the younger ones will be playing video games, the older ones relaxing, Min-jun cooking. He's a very good cook. He does most of the cooking in our dorm. 

      "Do you want to pick up something to eat along the way?" My bodyguard broke my thoughts. 

  I shook my head. Min-jun cooks enough to feed us and all our staff, there will be plenty of food. 

     The lights turned green and the car began to move forward again. 

 Everything happened so quickly, I could barely grasp the situation. 

      Car horns blaring.

      Bright lights glaring through the car windows.

  Turning my head I could see a lorry, obviously out of control, barrelling towards us with great speed, honking its horn at us to move out of the way. Cars were swerving to try and get out of the way, two get hit, one only just misses it. 

     We were too slow to process the situation, it was coming at us way too fast. 

  There was a big crash as the lorry rammed into the side of the car. My head was slammed against the window by the force. 

      The car was flung on to its roof, all the windows shattered, two of the car doors smashed in. I felt myself flung against the door which burst open with the pressure. 

    My vision was blurry. I was half-way out of the car, my upper body on the freezing cold road.

     Blurry figures were running towards me, people yelling.

  I tried to move. I couldn't. My body wouldn't let me. The seatbelt, no longer strapped tightly around my chest, was now hanging limp. 

   I couldn't feel anything. Slowly, I couldn't hear all the yelling anymore. My vision was still blurry.

     A dark figure bent down next to me. I could faintly see their lips moving. I couldn't hear him. 

  Thoughts began to swirl around in my head, it was either that that was making me feel dizzy, or the fact that my head got slammed against the window. 

   The driver, my manager, my bodyguard. I tried to move my head to find them, but I couldn't move. I just couldn't move.

     Would I see the NCT members again? My best friends? 

   To me, it seemed like the answer was no. My vision began to darken and slowly I lost consciousness. 

💛

😬😬😬😬 You can all come at me if you want 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

I can't believe I just did that 😭

See you all in the next chapter, if I survive 😭😭😭

Clara x