I felt like I was drowning in darkness. I tried opening my eyes, I tried moving, speaking. Nothing was happening. 

     'Am I dead?'

  Honestly, it felt like it. Until I began to hear things. 

      I could hear something bleeping, people were crying. Someone was pacing the floor. A door opened and shut. The television was on.

      'Where am I?'

     I strained myself to catch what was on the TV. It was the news round. 

       "SM Entertainment has just released a statement. NCT Dream's oldest member, Jisung, was in a serious car accident after leaving the Music Bank building. Because of this, NCT 127 returned to Korea immediately, cancelling their much anticipated world tour. SM is asking fans to be understanding and respectful during the current situation. In the statement, the company has also thanked the first responders and the people who helped during the accident. As far as we know, also in the car was the driver, one of NCT Dream's managers, and a personal bodyguard. Sources say, a lorry skidded on the slippery roads and went out of control -"

   Suddenly, everything came crashing back to me. Leaving Music Bank, getting in the car, travelling back to the dorms. The car horns, the lights, the lorry.

     I felt my heart jam in my throat. 

  The car crash. 

     'Did I survive? Am I in the hospital?' 

  If I was in the hospital, then that bleeping noise is a heart monitor. 

   Then, who's in the room with me. I could only hear crying, no one was speaking so I couldn't tell who was here. 

     My heart nearly stopped. The maknae line. If they're here, seeing me like this... I tried to get rid of the picture in my head. I could almost see it. Ha-joon and Do-yun crying their hearts out, Hayate and Hyun-ki looking so lost, the older ones trying to console them.

     'They can't be here!' I screamed in my head for them to leave. 

   I could hear the door open again. 

        "It's not looking too good." It's Taeyong hyung. 

     "Why? What's wrong now?" My heart made a flip. Mark! Then I thought -

  'Yeah, what's wrong?'

        "The manager and driver have just died, his bodyguard is still hanging in, but it's not looking too good." Taeyong replied. 

     My manager and driver are dead? T-they can't be! I tried to get my head round the new information. Then I thought, how long has it been since the accident? Hours? Days?

       "Oh gosh!" It was Haechan. I could hear him take a shaky breath.

    Wait. They're here. Why are they here? They're supposed to be in America, starting their world tour. Why are they here? Then the report I heard earlier on the TV came back to me.

      'You can't abandon your world tour, what are you doing?!' I mentally screamed. 

    If they're here, how long was it been since the crash? A direct, non-stop flight from JKF to Incheon is nearly 16 hours, add the time to get to the airport, going through security, boarding the plane, flight delays, driving from Incheon Airport to the hospital, plus the time difference between the two countries it must be at least nearly a day or two since the accident!

      "Jisung-i hyung is going to be okay, right?" 

    My stomach dropped. Ha-joon is here. Which means the rest of Dream is here too! They have to leave, they can't be here! It'll break them!

      "Of course he'll okay. It's Jisung, he's tough." Jaehyun hyung!

  Wait, so how many are here? How big is this room?! Surely it's not that big. I mean, if all Dream members are here that seven members, Taeyong, Mark, Haechan and Jaehyun are here, that's eleven altogether. Then there's the hospital bed, the medical equipment and machines. Must be a very big room if there are a few more members here. 

    "The doctor said that visiting hours end in ten minutes. He said only one can stay to keep an eye on him." Taeyong was saying.

      'Leaving already?' I felt sad. 

   "You stay tonight, hyung. The rest of us will return to the dorms and tell the others." 

     "Thanks Jaehyun, they can come by tomorrow." Taeyong sounded stressed and anxious. 

  "Shotaro just texted, they're on the first flight out of Japan." Haechan said. 

       "That's good. Tell them to go straight to the dorms. It'll be to late for them to come today to visit him. They can come by tomorrow." Taeyong instructed. 

      NCT Tokyo were returning? I felt guilty. Because of me, all schedules, plans and promotions are cancelled. NCT 127's tour, NCT Tokyo's promotions, NCT Dream's promotions, WayV's upcoming comeback. I felt guilty, they shouldn't do this. They should continue with their shedules. 

       "I'll create a rota for whoever will stay over night to keep an eye on him." Yuta's here too.

    "Yeah, good idea. Sort it out with the managers as well." Taeyong said. 

         I wanted to see them all again, part of me wanted that, but the other half... this might be my only chance in such a long time to be able to hear the voices of the older members. 

     I was torn. I hated to hear them being so miserable, and I hated the fact that the young Dream members had to witness all this, but at the same time, I would be spending time with the older members who I miss so much, especially the original Dream members. Was I being too selfish? 

      To be honest, could I even wake myself up? I tried earlier, nothing happened. My limbs won't move, I can't open my eyes. 

     I could hear them beginning to gather there things, getting ready to leave. 

   "You'll call us if anything happens, right?" Mark asked. 

      "I promise." Taeyong said.

   "I don't want to leave," Do-yun almost sounded stubborn. I laughed inwardly. I could picture him pouting.

       "I promise I'll call if he moves or if he wakes up, okay?" Taeyong said. 

    I heard Do-yun sighed. 

       Soon, Taeyong hyung and I were left on our own. I heard him move around the room before he settled down a chair nearby. 

     I felt his hand slowly grasp my right hand. I wanted to hold it back, to squeeze it, let him know that I'm okay, but I couldn't. My stubborn limbs won't let me. 

     He began arranging the pillows under my head, trying to make it more comfortable for me, which really did help, my neck isn't quite as sore anymore, but still not very comfortable. I think I'm wearing a neck brace. 

      I wonder if it's still snowing a lot outside. It must be. Maybe it was 5 inches on the ground now. The whole city would be covered in a white, cold blanket. 

     Hyung had now switched off the TV, plunging the room into silence except for the heart machine and the ticking of a clock. 

      The door opened again. 

   "Doctor Min." Taeyong greeted the person who just entered the room.

       "Hello, how is he doing?" 

   I could were some rustling of paper and a pen clicking. 

      "Well, much the same as he has been." Hyung replied. He sounded tired. They might not have gotten any rest before they had to return home. 

      "Well, waking up from comas are unpredictable. It can be from days, to weeks, to months, to years for someone to wake up from a coma. If it was a medicine induced coma, than we can choose when to wake him up. But comas from traumatic brain injuries really depend on the person on when they are ready to wake up." The doctor was saying. 

     Days? Weeks? Months? Years? I could be like this for goodness know how long?! Do I have control on when to wake up, or does my body decide? I can't let my hyungs and dongsaengs suffer forever!

     "Thank you, doctor. I'll keep an eye on him." Hyung said. Throughout all this, he was still grasping my hand. 

      "Just make sure you get some sleep as well. Nurses will come in from time to time during the night to check on things." The doctor said. There was some shuffling about as the doctor left the room. 

     I heard hyung sit back down again. 

  "Please wake up soon, Jisung-i. Wake up and get better soon." Hyung whispered.

       There was a battle going on inside me. One side wanted my to wake up, the other side wanted me to stay like this...forever.

      The argument? If I woke up, I would return to the reality of being the oldest Dream member, set to graduate after the promotions of the recent comeback were finished. Back to the reality were I was no longer in NCT Dream with Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin and Chenle. Back to the reality where we were all separated. 

💛

Chapter 4. You know, this might be the fastest I've ever updated or wrote chapters for a book, like, ever!

See you all in the next chapter!!!

(By the way, pictures used in this book are not mine. All rights go to whoever owns them.)

Clara x