(No time to proofread so excuse the mistakes)

Here goes a dirty update LOL!!!

(Madhu's POV)

"Don't hog like a pig! Eat slowly."

"Shut up. I am hungry." I chide my husband and stuff my mouth with pizza. I take the jalepeno from the pizza and toss it, mindlessly. Then took a huge slug of my coke and burp noisily.

"Bloody f**king shit!" I hear my husband's cry. Oh shit! I tossed the green chilli pepper right on his eye.

"Ahh... it's burning!" he screams loudly as he rubs his eye with his palm. I didn't bother at all. I keep on eating my tasty pizza. Hmm... yum!

Once he calms down he looks at me, murderously. Oohhh! What I did now?

"Want some pizza?" I offer sweetly. He nods and takes the pizza from my hand, I smile at him and a second later he scrubbed my face with the pizza making me cry.

"You moron! You wasted my pizza." I shout at him as I tried to lick the cheese around my mouth with my tongue.

"Serves you right for tossing that damned chili pepper on my eyes, Bitchey!"

"I didn't see you."

"You should have kept it aside if you didn't like to eat it instead of tossing it at someone who sits beside you."

"First I felt sorry for tossing the pepper at you but now nah! I should have rubbed the peppers on both your eyes. Well, I am gonna do that now." I pluck two chili peppers from the pizza and stood up from my seat and went closer to him to put the peppers on his eyes but he tackle me down and fell on top of me from the chair. He brought my hands closer to my eyes so that I can keep the peppers on top of my eyes. I struggle beneath him on the floor. God! He is so heavy. I wanna push him off me.

"Pepper is hot. Cucumber is cool. Madhu is smart. My husband is a bloody fool!" I scream and with full force I pull my left leg up and my knee contacts with something hard. Dang!

"Oh bloody bitch!" Rk rolls off my body howling in pain holding his lower region and curling small just like a ball. Aww... I pity him. Did I hurt him?

"Are you alright?" I ask softly leaning on him to see his eyes. It's watery. Oh shit! He is gonna cry.

"Mommyyy" he cries hitting the floor with his palm hardly to control his pain.

"Baby..." I rub his back soothingly.

"Just run quickly to your room and lock it for a day or two. If you come out before that I swear to God I will kill you." he warns me still holding his thing and looking away from me.

"Can I give you a massage?" I ask remorsefully.

"Massage? You? I know you will squeeze my little friend to death so no thanks!" he growls.

"At least take your hand so that I can take a look at it. I just hope you are not badly hurt." I try to pry his hand.

"You knocked my nut with your bloody knee so I am obviously hurt badly, you mental!" he groans. He called me mental? How dare he?

"Oh God! Why oh why I married this man? A man who calls his own wife a mental? What an ill fate I have? Why I am stuck up with this cock-holding asshole? I hate this ass and toilet relationship. I don't want to do the shitting business with him!" I cry dramatically.

"What the f**k?" he shouts. Now what? I glare at him.

"You compared our husband and wife relationship to ass and toilet? This is gross!" he says disgusted and holds his head. Finally he is holding something else instead of holding that disgusting thing hidden under his boxer brief.

"Just tell me who is the ass here and who is the toilet?" he asks bluntly.

"Of course I have to most delectable derriere so I am the ass and you are the nasty toilet where I shit!" I laugh rolling on the floor.

"You haven't seen mine yet." he smirks.

"Then show me" I say crossing my hands over my chest.

"Okay come." He says.

"You have the stamina to carry me to the bed?" I ask him mockingly.

"Oh yeah, see how I am taking you." he says and drags me by my leg to the nearest room and all the way I scream, curse at him to leave my leg but he didn't budge. Our bedroom is actually upstairs but I know he is in a hurry to dump me in the bed.

"Climb up on the bed!" he orders. I shake my head in no. he sighs. He took hold of my left hand and left leg and lifted me up awkwardly and deposits me on the bed.

"Now what?" he asks. I frown.

"You should tell me, your highness" I am novice in this field. I admit that.

"You are ready to meet Junior Rk?" my stupid husband asks me. I gave him a confused look.

"Junior Rk? Did you get me pregnant miraculously?" I ask shocked. Whether we had sex while sleeping? But we have spent only one night together since marriage and that's last night when I finally landed in this new land. Then how come within a day he can get me pregnant? Had he sown any magical seeds in me?

"No, I am talking about my little friend... you ready to say hello to him?"

"Little friend? Who? Your P.A. Bittuji? But he is not little. He is too big. At least his tummy is big as if he is pregnant with ten pigs. Well, why should I meet him now? What business he has in our bedroom? No, I don't want him to disturb us..."

"Oh shut the f**k up!" Rk shouts at me. "I'm talking about this friend" he pulls down his boxer brief and something springs out.

"Oh shit! Hide it! Hide it!" I shriek as I cover my eyes with my palm.

"You asked me to show you my possession but now you are covering your eyes?" Rk asks me.

"Talk to me, dammit!"

"First you put that thing inside! Then I will talk."

"Yeah right, expensive things should not be kept in display for long. It's should be hidden safely." Rk pets his "thing" and covers it back with his boxers. I sigh in relief.

"You don't like my friend?"

"Not a fan of him yet" I tell grinning.

"You will become his crazy fan soon once he fills your pocket and you will want him to be wrapped in you always." he winks.

"You talk so dirty."

"Says who? The potty mouth!" he smirks at me. I blush crimson. I talk shit but I swear I'm innocent. I ace only in theory but when it comes to practical I am a total zero.

"It's a shame Miss. V is not willing to be kissed by Mr. P" Rk sighs sadly. I frown a moment not getting what he was referring to but then once I catch his greedy eyes travel down my belly I understood who are Mr. P and Miss. V. Look, I told you guys right? I am a clever bitch!

"Will you let me kiss you?" Rk asks.

"Where?" I ask.

"On your lips!"

"Okay! But warning you that you should not f**k my mouth! You should not bite my lips! Shove your tongue into my mouth! Drinking in all the wetness and leave my mouth dry! If you do then you should buy me chocolate milk shake! Oh and I would like to eat doughnut with my milkshake..."

"I guess I am getting late to work! So BYE!" for one kiss he heard enough from this stupid girl! He growls angrily and walks out of the room. What did I do now to make him mad?

After five minutes of thinking and still not finding the reason for why he didn't kiss me, I walk out of the room to check on him.

I find him in the front hall neatly dressed in a dark business suit and talking over phone with one hand shoved in his pants pocket. Hmm... He looks hot in his business mood.

Omg! He is in barefoot! He looks sexy walking around the room in barefoot. Even without shoes he looks so talk.

He glances at me but ignores me and continues talking. I watch him impatiently waiting to know why the hell he didn't kiss me.

He ends the call and walks to the couch and sits on it to put his socks and shoes.

I walk to him and sit down on the floor and put my head on his knee surprising him.

"What? Don't tell me like those olden days stupid wives you are gonna polish my shoes and put them for me?" He asks shocked but I know from his voice that he is teasing.

I look up at him and capture his eyes with mine and smile sweetly. He mirrors my action. Then my hand search for something. Ah! Got it!

"Thu... Thu... Yuck!" He spits and pushes me back.

"Hahahahaha..." I laugh throwing my hands and legs in the air lying on the floor.

Don't get offended and start scolding my idiot husband for pushing me. I just shoved socks in his mouth for even thinking I will polish and put shoes for him. Like hell I will do! So yeah! I did that and he pushed me. Scores level!

"Ahhh! Bitchey! You are driving me insane!!!!" He screams pulling his hair.

"You are already insane! You should feel glad that I married you in spite of knowing your issue!" I smirk.

"I am going. Bye" he kicks me on my ass. I turn and rest my head on my arm balancing my weight with my elbow as I wave bye to him with my other hand.

"You look damn sexy in that pose!" He says holding the door open. I am still stretched on the floor and my night clothes are itched up.

"I know right! I am a sexy bitch!"

"That you are. Bye." He says and shuts the door with a bang.

... To be continued!

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