Look how big Soleil is getting 😭😭 she's only 6 months old and she's massive I'm so shocked lmao!

Why is she so freaking cute 😭😭😭

Anyway, here's a little 8.2k words~~ Enjoy!

"Oh my gosh, Hoseok, did you know that some wolves are aroused by the smell of sweat because it's infused with the scent of their lover? What the heck am I supposed to do with that knowledge?" I blurt out as I scroll down a page about wolf facts on his phone, hear him spit out his drink from his seat besides me before giving me a look of horror.

"And you're sharing that with me?" he asks, clearly he wishes he didn't know but... "I can't bear that knowledge alone, I need you to suffer with me" I tell him before bringing my gaze back to the website, curious to find more.

Yesterday, after the guys informed me of our bond, not much happened to be honest. We were all tired, so napping was a thing most of us did, and the movie on the TV served more as background noise as Namjoon and Jungkook did a snoring competition until Jin smacked them awake and to their room, much to their disgruntlement.

In the mundane activities that filled the hours of the day, there was something comforting about just being with them, no conversations about confronting the reality that is currently changing and adapting around us, only spending time together in silent companionship.

I think it was very needed for all of us.

It was a struggle for them to leave for work this morning, none of them wanted to be apart from me and Taehyung had to head to the restaurant alone to make a batch of special pastries for tonight so out of the two chef wolves, only Hoseok remained behind with me, although now he probably wishes he'd left with his mate as I've been throwing random facts his way for an hour now.

"Oh! This one says that omega wolves have a tendency to collect pieces of clothing to nest, it's not rare to find lost socks somewhere in there? Am I supposed to have a foot fetish? Of all the things to sleep into, it has to be socks?" I continue, to which he sighs, this is clearly not how he'd hoped to spend his day with me, I can't blame him, I just feel restless.

"Doll... I don't mean to spoil your fun but... maybe we could do something else, hm? We don't have to stay in here all day, we could go for a walk? Get some fresh air? You don't have a phone anymore right? We could go get you a new one" he offers with hopeful eyes, being cooped up at home something he's apparently getting tired of and I hum as I consider the options given.

I haven't really worked as of yet at the tattoo parlour and my bank account is running dry, so getting a new phone for now is clearly not possible yet, but going on a walk doesn't cost anything, right?

"We could go on a walk" I say with a nod, to which Hoseok quirks an eyebrow at my avoidance of his second plan.

"And get you a phone" he doesn't offer, he states and I gulp, his almonds slightly spicy, as if they got sprinkled in strong spices, he's not about to take a no from me.

I bite on my lip and stare at the phone in my hands, an expensive one clearly, it looks pretty recent, I don't have the means to afford one like this.

Maybe a... there are some models that are older, used but restored, right? Maybe I could go with that, I'd just have to be extra careful with my money until I get paid.

I nod slowly, now regretting having thrown my old one in the street, that was a dumb move. Satisfying in the spur of the moment, but now I'm having regrets.

"Okay... we go get me a new phone" I pout as I hand him his back, watch as he smiles happily before jumping to his feet, a hand offered to me to help me up from my slumped position on the couch, my pout deepening because I was so comfortable here.

"Come on you lazy bun, up up up! Go get dressed, today's a sunny day so don't wear anything too warm, I wouldn't want you getting a heatstroke during our walk. I'll go get us some bottles of water and some snacks in a bag, okay?" he chirps before sending me towards my room and I grumble before following his order, nose scrunching as I mumble under my breath, something he only chuckles at before heading to the kitchen with a happy chirp.

Did I bore him that much with my random facts? I guess I did... oh well. I guess the man just likes staying active while I'm very happy as a potato couch, it's not a bad thing, it gets me out and moving about.

I do hope that I can head to work soon though, Yoongi and Jungkook want me to get used to scents in more open spaces before I get cooped up in the small shop first, and I get it, but I can't stop remembering their filled agenda and how they're going to have to fit in their past customers in their already busy schedule because of what happened to me, they did miss a few days of work, I fear that they might overwork.

While that is inevitable, if I could at least help them get whatever they need, take care of the cleaning, just lower their burden, I'd feel much better.

But alpha orders are orders I can't seem to go against and so, apparently, my health and well-being come first.

Tsk.

Now in my room, I close the door behind me, take in the nest that has remained there since I woke up yesterday morning, pride filling all of me because damn, it feels good being allowed to leave it intact.

This morning, I won't lie, my first reflex had been to fold everything properly, an old habit, but I hadn't been able to keep in a whine from slipping out and Jungkook had come over running, eyes looking panicked until he'd seen me on the verge of tears with a blanket half folded in my hands.

He'd relaxed instantly and came over to help me put it back in the nest, a little messily I won't lie, but he still did a better job than I would've.

My nests have always been... terrible, I couldn't focus on making them perfect when I had to undo them just as fast, they were easy to hide, the complete opposite of this one.

This nest is fluffy, gigantic and so comfortable, I get soothed just staring at it, it does explain why I've always felt the need to hide in one, the drug couldn't hide everything that made me a wolf, even though it was enough to keep my wolf sick all the time.

I push that thought to the back of my mind for now, not willing to go down that path. My adoptive parents have done something terrible and while I'm not happy about it, not at all, today is supposed to be a good day and I want it to remain as such.

I breathe in the scents of the nest to calm myself, the light hints of the seven men too soft to my nose, I wish I could pick them up and throw them in there to get more of their scents but... yeah nah, I'm not doing that.

Your girl has some self respect and she's not getting rid of it that easily. She will find... sneaky methods to get the scents she wants.

I'm starting to understand where the socks came from, they do feel like an easy way to discretely get what I want, I'd just have to be picky and not get the smelly ones.

...

Yeah, that's a matter for another time, when I'm alone, if that ever happens. I'm not having Hoseok finding me looking through their dirty laundry.

Shaking my head, because I'm not here to consider how to steal used socks, I head to my bag, one I have yet to unpack and find clothes suitable for the day, some shorts and a thin t-shirt, then my sunscreen because I burn easily, then proceed to get changed before Hoseok comes knocking on the door because I'm taking too long joining him.

Once happy with my look of the day, I grab the bottle of sunscreen and leave my room just as Hoseok leaves his, eyes falling on me and smiling prettily when he takes me in, something that has me blushing bashfully, his handsomeness hitting me once more, they're all so freaking good-looking, it should be illegal.

"Are you ready to go, doll?" he asks and I hum before raising the bottle in my hand. "Just need to put this on first" I tell him, head tilting when he reaches out to grab it, to which I let him, wondering what caught his attention.

He reads the label, quirks an eyebrow before popping the cap open, then, in all seriousness, brings it closer to my nose, waiting.

Confused, I take a sniff, not expecting much of it but when the smell hits me, holy shit!

"Why does this smell like rotten milk?!" I exclaim with a gag, head turning away from Hoseok as he chuckles, cap back into place before he dangles the bottle in front of my face, one of his long fingers pointing at a little area in particular.

HEAVILY SCENTED
Recommended for humans only

"Okay but it did not smell like that before, it smelled like... I don't know, but not that" I tell him, to which he hums as he pulls it away from my face without giving it back.

"Human products tend to be like that, your sense of smell is more delicate now so you'll smell things that they don't, you'll get used to it. I also see here that this one has some toxic ingredients inside so... it's going right in the trash. We have a few bottles here, they're all unscented and good for sensitive skin so you're going to be fine" he explains softly and I look down, a little embarrassed that my lack of money lead me to this moment, that sunscreen was the cheapest of the lot.

"Go take a seat on the couch, I'll throw this one in the trash and bring another one, I'll be back soon" he says before going to one of the bathrooms and I do as told, not willing to go against the beta who can be as sweet as he can be severe, even I can see that in my short time with them.

He's all sunny and sunshine, but then sometimes, he has that look on his face that says - don't screw with me, I can pin you against the wall in a second and you're going to love it - and I don't know how to feel about that knowledge, my mind remembering that one afternoon in the fairy castle.

Submissive as much as he can be dominant, Hoseok is painfully aware of that and it's terrifying. Taehyung looks like he'd be the same too, but his aura remains too soft to be really intimidating, it's his face that does it for him.

Then I could say the same for Yoongi and Jungkook, both of them look intimidating, but really, they're not at all, they're the softest.

As for Jimin... well he confuses me a little. He looks like the softest little bean but... I don't know, there's something about him, I feel like he's just good at hiding his scary side, so I'd definitely put him in the dominant category until I'm proved of the opposite.

I can almost feel my wolf nod at that thought, it's a weird feeling, but also... comforting, like a caress against my soul, a part of me that had been locked away for so long and now finally back to me, it will definitely take time getting used to.

Then there's Namjoon who's obviously very dominant, there's no going around that one and Jin, him too, definitely.

As for me... well I'm not sure. I don't believe I'm very submissive, I'm too stubborn for that, but I guess we'll see, time will tell where I am situated in all that.

"Here, I got the strongest one, Jin always uses this one, says it's the best" Hoseok claims as he comes back and I turn around on my seat to see him standing behind the couch I am seated on, bottle already opened as he squeezes out an amount to his own palm before motioning for me to turn around.

"Oh- I can do it on my own" I tell him, suddenly nervous at the prospect of feeling his hands on my skin again, especially after the memory of the afternoon we shall not speak of anymore, but his gaze lets me know I'm not going to run away from this.

"Pull your hair up, I'll start with your neck" he informs me and I follow his instructions right away, too scared to go against him, he's got that look in his eyes right now that tells me I don't want to say no and when I'm ready, he hums before bringing his warm hands to my nape, except it's not warm at all, that sunscreen is cold as heck!

I startle at the contact, chills spreading all over my skin, unaware of the grin that spreads on his lips as he starts lathering the product evenly onto my skin, slow and careful, just the right amount of pressure too to make this into a massage and damn, he's good at this, the oily cream allowing his hands to slide over my shoulder blades easily, the top of my shoulders, the base of my nape, I'm melting into putty under his touch.

"Feels good?" he hums, already knowing the answer but it's always nice to hear it from the concerned party, so when I nod with a small "Very", eyes shut and head lulling to the side, he smiles, pleased by what he's seeing.

"Raise your arms, doll".

Like a puppet under his control, I obey, the gentle pressure of his fingers as they squeeze around my muscles, sunscreen almost out of mind now, I could almost believe that this was always meant to be a massaging session, I can only enjoy this lovely moment, my body soft in his hold, it's getting harder by the second to keep my arms up.

His touch softens when he reaches my wrists, careful to not be too rough on the sensitive skin, one I read as being one of the few scent glands on a wolf body, which explains why it helped Namjoon yesterday, why it felt so nice when his thumb would caress over my own, I like being able to understand better.

When he's done, I expect him to hand me the bottle so I can take care of the rest, but no, he walks around the couch and comes crouching in front of me before patting one of his shoulders, which has me confused, until he speaks up.

"Put a leg over, it's going to help me massage your thighs".

EXCUSE ME?!

"E-e-eh no?" I stutter out, cheeks taking on a bright shade of red, but Hoseok hides his grin under a stern look before patting his shoulder once more and I hesitantly comply, absolutely embarrassed by it, I'm so glad I didn't put one of those very short shorts, they're mid thigh but still!

Hoseok spurts an amount in his hands and rubs them together before using both to cover my skin, a content smile on his face as he goes over every little imperfections - stretch marks, cellulite, every little scars and moles - he takes them all in as he goes over them with the most gentle attention, enough to have me relaxing, because that's not disgust I'm seeing on his face, it's adoration.

"You look beautiful, you know that? Every part of you, ours to discover, ours to love" he muses softly, relishes in the way my heart goes on its merry stomping way in my chest, stutters many and obvious, but how can it not when this perfect man says such words about me?

Not knowing what to reply to such a delightful admission, not that he expects me to say anything, I look away from his face, feeling my own burning under his affectionate gaze, hands continuing their task on my other leg once he's done with one, just as careful as he goes from thigh to ankle to make sure I don't get sunburned while under his care.

I'd expect my body heat to go down from there when he releases my leg, but when he motions for me to stand in front of him, I am unprepared for what is next, incredibly unprepared.

"I'll go gentle okay?" he says and I nod, not thinking much of it, it's my face, right? He's going to do my face-

Wrong.

Starting with the front of my shoulders, he slowly goes to the front and slightly under the collar of my t-shirt before gradually going up and the closer he gets to my throat, the more my heart starts beating out of control because it's a feeling of incredible vulnerability that takes place as I meet his gaze, eyes locked on his for support just as his fingers reach the sensitive area.

With his almonds surrounding me, honeyed almonds, it's like it overrules all of my senses as he softly goes over my scent glands, his body stepping closer to me, tall and wide, hot breath hitting my nose as he stares at me, takes in every little shifts of my expressions, as he absorbs every changes of my scent, not a single cloud in the sky, only a bright sun, yet it still rains, maybe it's raining rainbows, he thinks to himself as he takes his time, the proximity and the effect he has on me things he enjoys probably a bit too much.

"Such a perfect omega for me, doll, such a good girl for Hobi" he croons, unable to help himself as he kisses my forehead, my eyes shutting at the act, heart and soul melting for him and his words, how he can be so sweet and soft while also being so dominant something I will probably never understand, he has me under his spell as he goes over the sides of my neck before going up my jaw and under-chin, attentive to go over every spot of skin he can.

Again, that deep vibration in the deepest part of my chest builds up once more, a little louder than yesterday and Hoseok pauses as he gets to feel it, just slightly, but it's there and gosh, the way his almonds suddenly burst in a wave of fresh honey, enough to make me salivate, I open my eyes to find his teary eyes looking down at me with pride, hands going to cup my cheeks before resting his forehead against mine, nose bumping against my own, his joy palpable with how heavy I can feel it in my heart.

It makes me shy, realization that I'm currently purring because of his touch on me enough to have butterflies fill my stomach, but it also feels really good, to get closer to something so innate in a wolf.

It will probably take time for me to be fully merged with my wolf but... we're getting there, aren't we? Slowly but surely, my real identity will surely one day feel like mine.

"It makes me so happy, to be the first one to get to hear that beautiful purring, it sounds just as sweet as you are, so tiny and cute" he muses with a lump in his throat, something about his reaction that amazes me, because to him, those things are special, he sees worth in what I lack, sees worth in them coming to the surface, it makes me feel better about everything.

I smile shyly at him, to which he smiles back, nose rubbing against mine with delight before he clears his throat lightly in an attempt to pull himself together, my face yet to be lathered in the sunscreen, it wouldn't do to have that area be burned at all, one of the guys would probably murder him.

"Let's get this done so we can go" he coos before making me close my eyes, facial massage feeling amazing, Hoseok really is good at this, he probably has his skills in the kitchen to thank for that, he's used to using his hands.

Once the task over and my body ready for a good nap because that full body massage was more than what I had expected when I stepped out of my room, he gently boops my nose before stepping back to quickly put some on himself too, no lost time as he makes sure it gets everywhere before grabbing the bag containing water and snacks as well as his belongings, wallet and phone and we make our way to the entrance where I grab my shoes and bag, ready to go out into the world.

It's sure going to be a new experience, to smell the outside world in a new light, but with Hoseok besides me, I do believe that it won't be as bad as the first time. I've had time to process what happened to me and although it will take time to fully accept, when I'm with them, it doesn't seem as hard to do.

It's when I'm alone that my thoughts bring me down a darker path.

"Shall we go, doll?" Hoseok asks, his voice pulling me out of my thoughts and when I turn my gaze to him, his hand opened and awaiting for mine, I smile with a nod, hand sliding into his and between his warm fingers before we step out of the house.

---

We stop in front of a luxurious building and I freeze in my track, the voice in my head incredibly loud as it screams at me that this place will ruin me, it will suck my blood dry, I'll have to give a lung to afford what they sell, there's no way I can get a phone here.

Run away, my inner voice tells me, run away before you get trapped under a contract that will destroy you, no unicorns or mermen will be able to save you once it's done, you'll be stuck dealing with this by yourself, run before it's too late!

Hoseok turns to me when he doesn't feel me near anymore, notices me staring at the building with a cold sweat and sighs softly before coming over by my side.

There's no way I can get inside that place, this is a corner for rich people, I am not part of that category, far from it.

I should've realized that he was bringing us in the opposite direction of the one I can afford, he owns a fucking 5 star restaurant, of course he would come here instead of the used-but-still-working shops!

I tighten my hold on my bag's strap, mind trying to see if I can afford the cheaper expensive that can be found here, but unless I split the bill over ten years, I honestly doubt that it's happening, how do I tell him that I can't come here?

Maybe I don't, maybe I just step away?

So discreetly, I make one side step away from Hoseok, then another, and another, pleasantly surprised when he has yet to say anything, maybe I can make it away after all-

"Y/N, come back here".

Crap.

Body locked where I am, because I really want to leave this place as soon as possible, it's making me sweat in poor, I can't because part of me knows that Hoseok would be disappointed and I don't want that.

How do I make sure I survive this day without making him feel bad? Is it even possible? Am I going to have to sell my soul for him?

I feel like my true mate is asking a little bit too much out of me so early in our getting to know each other.

Lost in my head, I don't notice that Hoseok is getting closer until I feel him standing right behind me, his chest flush against my back and I freeze, bottom lip sucked in between my teeth to nibble on, heart doing an unwanted bungee jump, I can feel it drop all the way down to my feet, beads of sweat pearling at my forehead, this isn't good.

"Let me tell you one thing, doll, and I hope for it to be the only time I have to tell you. The guys and I, as your true mates, we want you happy, taken care of, spoiled. You are our queen and we intend to treat you as such. When any of us decide to get you something, it means we will be getting that thing, we will be paying for it.

You've been nervous about money since earlier, I'm not blind, and that's not something I want you to stress over anymore, am I clear? Our money is your money, so don't go running away, we can afford the whole shop if we want to, but we're here to get you a phone, just one phone. So you're going to be a good girl and come with me, right?".

His voice sends chills down my spine, how low it is, soft and a whisper to keep everyone from hearing him, it's... gosh, it's hot. Hoseok is hot.

How... how do I respond to that?

"You don't have to, but if you really want to, you say - Yes Hobi - then you take my hand and you let me treat you the way you deserve" he answers my slip up with a kiss to my cheek and when he pulls back, I slowly turn around to face him, notice his hand spread open as he smiles warmly, eyes he wants reassuring.

Feeling myself blush, I look down and grab his hand. I can't deny him anything, can I?

"Y-yes Hobi, I'll be good" I murmur, hear his hum, an "Even better, what a good pup" leaving his heart-shaped lips and causing my soul to preen in quiet before he softly pulls me into his side and with him towards the building we were previously standing in front of.

"Now, when we'll be inside, you'll notice that there aren't really any scents swarming your way, that's because the employees all wear scent blockers daily and they have air purifiers throughout the shop to make sure wolves don't get overwhelmed. This place is one of the few who put in that much effort for us, which is why I brought us here, so don't worry too much, okay?" he explains gently, his gaze observant on me and only when I nod at him does he make us walk inside, automatic doors opening and revealing a luxurious inside that shouldn't be allowed for people like me.

I squeeze his hand nervously, the people that fill the shop all dressed in fancy clothes, high end brands and I don't miss the few glances that fall on me, judging and almost admonishing, as if telling me that I have nothing to do here, but Hoseok is stepping forward, head held high as he glares at them and they all quickly look away, eyes widening as they all process who he is.

Because while Yoongi and Jungkook remain on the low and hidden side of the social medias, Taehyung and Hoseok are on the spotlight side, their face well known, as are their accomplishments, it is no secret that they are rich. That's what I've found out while playing around on Hoseok's phone anyway.

I never really had the time to do that before, I was too busy and my phone was too slow for me to go through the hassle, so when I saw their face all over the web after searching their restaurant on Google, well... yeah, I was impressed.

And so it's obvious when one of the female employees comes running over, the handsome man besides me captivating everyone in the room as she bows lowly before showing him her overly pretty flirty smile.

"Jung Hoseok, what an honor to have you here! What can we do for you today?".

Yeah, go right ahead and ignore me, I'm definitely not standing right by his side! I'm a ghost, there's just him who can see me, let me just haunt all of you real quick, you're not going to see me anyway-

"We're looking for a new phone for my lovely mate here, would you please be so sweet as to direct us towards the new collection?" Hoseok smiles at me as he speaks, his arm pulling me closer and immediately catching the human's attention, her eyes stopping on me in confusion, clearly the word mate is taking her aback.

The Kim Pack isn't known to have a female mate after all, even from the little the world knows.

"R-Right this way, if you would please follow me" she stutters out slightly before leading the way and we follow behind, my widening grin at her obvious shock causing Hoseok to chuckle quietly, happy to see that I'm not shying away from being called his mate, it makes him proud.

We reach a wall of the shop that seems to receive a lot of attention, everything made to catch the eye so that the people would come over and see what the main focus is and when I take in the devices all spread side by side in a series of pretty colours, I unconsciously search for the price, mind growing surprised when I don't see any.

Ah, because rich people don't care about the cost? It sure saves me from a panic attack and a self guilt-trip, I won't complain.

"These are our new additions, they were released last week and they're already very popular, our shop is one of the few allowed to sell them so far, you've made a good choice by coming here. They are made in a wide range of colours, wolf packs like to have a different colour each to fit together, that was the intended goal when these were made" the woman explains professionally before continuing with the performance stats, something that seems to interest Hoseok but I couldn't care less as I leave his side to have a closer look at the models in front of me.

When did phones get so big? My last one was like... half the size of this one, the screen is a bit larger than Hoseok's phone and I thought it was already too big, it's crazy.

I pick one of them up, a lovely metallic purple that makes me smile right away, it looks so pretty, the contour a rose gold that gives it the quality look that it most definitely is and when I unlock the screen, it's to be greeted by a very bright wallpaper of vibrant colours, something that amazes me, eyes sparkling as I take it in.

When have electronic devices gotten that far? It makes me feel like my old one came out of the dinosaur era! I feel so old looking at all this!

"You like this one?" Hoseok asks me suddenly and I turn my head to see him heading closer, the other woman now gone and I hesitate a bit before nodding at him. "It looks pretty".

He hums, pleased, then looks at the other colours, all of them so attractive and different, I can almost see each of the guys owning one of them too. It is pretty tempting, the idea of matching phones with them.

"Want to help me choose for the others? It's about time we change ours anyway, it would be great to have a colour each" he asks and my eyes widen before falling back to the colourful devices, suddenly very excited at the prospect of my little wish coming true.

And so, having a look at the vast choices becomes very fun since it's not for me but for them and we eventually end up with seven additional choices, colours that we feel will suit the guys very well, Hoseok included, I chose his since he was so undecided.

Honestly, it makes me feel better, that I'm not the only one stepping out of here with one, it takes off the focus from me and I couldn't be more grateful about it. I don't know if Hoseok intended to do that from the beginning, but I'm far from complaining.

"Well, I think we have it all, don't we, doll?" he chirps and I nod quickly, excited to see their reactions when they'll realize that we're going to be matching. I feel so stupid for being that happy over it, but for once, there's no one to make me feel bad about it, because one look at Hoseok reveals him to look just as excited as I am, the both of us jumping in place with wide grins on our faces.

It's all fun and games, a new phone number, my name registered to it, this and that, until comes the final amount of money to pay, every phones paid all at once and enough to give me a heart attack.

Holy shit. Why are phones so expensive? Eight of them and you have enough to sign for a house at the bank!

I watch as Hoseok casually gets a black card out of his wallet before handing it over and that's when it really hits me that the guys and I, we're really from different worlds.

While I've spent the past ten years living with the strict minimum, no improvement brought upon my situation through the years, they have... gosh, they own shops, restaurants, they work at a prestigious university, they even have a doctor.

I'm really not on par with them, not at all. I mean, I do have a diploma as an architect, I could become something if I wanted to but... is that really my only choice? Do I want to be like the very people who destroyed who I am because they didn't want me as a wolf?

For what? To keep myself from falling into the deep hole that an inferiority complex can be?

Keeping my scent from spilling out as a storm reveals very hard, but with slow breathing and the memory of the pack's happy smiles, I manage to keep my emotions at bay, to deal with later, when I'm alone.

Don't ruin everything, Y/N, they like you happy, right? Give them what they like seeing so that they too can remain happy, you've done enough, put them through enough like that. This you can deal with alone.

Hoseok turns to me and I force a smile that I want as natural as possible, but seeing the black card handed back to him, it has me sweating, body growing uncomfortably hot before I'm looking away when I can feel that the light in my eyes is revealing too much to him.

I never thought I would feel so anxious seeing a black card in person, but it's almost like an attack to my mental stability at this point and the need to run away keeps growing until it makes me fidgety on my toes, something the beta doesn't miss, a hand reaching out to me but I'm stepping back before he can touch me.

"I'll wait for you outside" is the only warning I give him before walking away, the burn of his gaze on me disappearing only when I step out of the building and to a near bench where I try to clear my mind before he comes back to join me.

See positive things around you, Y/N. Green trees, they smell good, the chirping of birds, their sweet melody, the laughter of children, the fresh breeze, focus on that, the happy moment you spent with Hoseok earlier, forget about their status, their money, their popularity, forget all that.

Focus on their warmth, on their smiles, on the way they look at you, that's what matters. You might be little in all aspects next to them but... you have to be good for at least one thing, right? Whatever that thing might be?

I slowly get there, to a calmer state, as much as can be achieved and when Hoseok comes to join me, the smile I offer him feels much more natural, my body back to normal - ish. Still, I feel like it wouldn't take much to make me burst at this point, I probably need to nest, it sure would help a lot right now.

He settles his bag on the bench, phones probably safely stored inside and then sits next to me, worried as he glances at me, his hands going to get my own before sighing softly.

"Are you okay? Hearing the price surprised you right? I wanted to tell the employee to not say it aloud but she was faster than me, I'm sorry you got to feel nervous because of it" he apologizes, to which I look at my feet with a small shrug.

"It's okay, it was meant to be expensive from the moment you decided to get more than one phone, I'm just... not used to it. Thank you by the way, it's very nice of you" I reply simply but he doesn't buy it, his eyes like hawks on me.

"That's not all, is it?".

I look up at the sky and inhale deeply before letting it out as slowly as I can. "It's nothing, I'm fine".

He frowns. "Obviously, it's not nothing considering that you literally avoided me earlier before running out of the shop. What's wrong, doll? I promise, I'm here to help-"

"Well that's the thing, Hoseok, I don't need help, I'm fine! You don't have to push when there's nothing to fix!" I exclaim, hands slipping away from underneath his to prove my point, arms crossing over my chest and one glance at him has my heart squeezing and breaking, the hurt in his eyes enough to haunt my dreams for years to come.

Still, I can't open up about everything just because he wants me to, just because we're true mates, it doesn't work like that with me.

"It's not because I'm a helpless new omega who doesn't know shit about anything concerning wolves that everyone should treat me like I'm going to break at any moment! You're right, the money isn't all that's on my mind, but that's mine to deal with, so don't concern yourself with my troubles, I'll survive" I add before standing up to put some distance between us, just so I can calm down again, my breathing unstable and heavy on my chest.

He doesn't say anything, but his scent sours, oranges going bad, he wasn't expecting that outburst and honestly, I wasn't expecting it either, yet it has happened and I'm powerless in taking the words back.

I run a hand through my hair, wanting it to get out of the way, but every time I bring my hand down, strands keep coming back into my eyes and fuck, I hate this, discomfort boiling in the pit of my stomach, why does everyone keep staring at me?

What did I do, huh? Am I not allowed to struggle? Can't I just struggle in peace and deal with my shit one thing at a time without having to feel like everyone has a say in what I do? Can't they just mind their own business? Is that asking for too much?

Feeling anger rising within me because of my helplessness, there's not much I can do to keep it down anymore when even the little itch to my skin starts pissing me off and I groan to myself, hands messing up my hair harshly because everything is becoming too much, way too much for me right now.

"Screw everyone... it's not my fault if my life has made me into a mess" I whimper weakly, a dizzy feeling taking over my mind as I start walking away, anywhere, as long as it's away from here, hands grabbing my hair and pulling, I should've brought a stupid hair tie, it would have saved me from feeling like ripping it all out.

Maybe it's time I cut it short, start anew, right? That's how it works? New haircut, flashy colour, wardrobe change?

Not looking where I'm going, eyes shutting tight to avoid feeling sick all of a sudden, I bump into someone, heavy knocking of shoulder against shoulder with strength but it doesn't matter, I'm ready to keep going on my way when a hand over my shoulder pulls me back until I come face to face with an angry guy, a musky scent to him, an alpha?

"Don't you have something to say, omega? You just going to bump into everyone and ignore them like a vulgar little wolf? Didn't your parents teach you how the world works for wolves like you?" he growls but I scoff and roll my eyes at him before pushing his hand off me with a scowl.

"Shut the fuck up, you big guy. You don't touch me, you don't have that right, I might be vulgar and a fucking orphan now but at least I'm not trying to intimidate weaker than me, you stupid ass!" I snarl before walking away, the stunned man not having any comeback to my insult, and he doesn't come after me either, one look behind me revealing Hoseok following calmly, his eyes fixated on me, orbs blank and serious, he must have made the alpha stay back, it makes me grunt before turning into a random street.

I have no idea where I'm going, but it seems to lead away from the busy shopping street and that is more than needed, the air around me getting lighter and lighter the further away we get, not as many scents making it to my nose and dirtying my lungs anymore, it feels nice, but not nice enough.

I don't know where that anger is coming from, the way it clings onto my guts with an iron grip, the way it oozes into my heart, but I don't know how to get rid of it, the only thing I can do apparently disappointing others, I guess not having my parents anymore to get mad at me is starting to make me feel uneasy.

I wish someone would get mad at me real good and tell me to stop being such a spoiled brat, a good smack on the back of my head, maybe it would put me back in my place, that's what dad used to do when I'd become too much to handle for him.

Except they're not here anymore and I can only be witness of my worsening state, soul shaking from a sickness that is called emotions with no cure within reach, none that I know of.

I start kicking every rocks I come across, uncaring that they end up hitting cars, one of them whose alarm starts screeching into the silence because of the impact, and the loud sound makes me bristle, a hiss leaving me before I make a beeline for it, hand hitting against the hood, because why the fuck won't it stop? It's giving me a headache, damn it!

I give a good kick against the tire before I hear a growl behind me and the next thing I know, I'm thrown over a shoulder before being brought away, feet stumping so hard on the ground that I can feel the impact through my whole body with every steps.

"Now that's enough. You're going to calm down and stop pushing your anger onto everyone and everything, am I clear? I've seen enough" Hoseok states with a low tone to his voice and I squirm to free myself from his hold, unhappy about the cage I find myself in but his arm only squeezes tighter around my waist, enough to hurt, it makes me want to fight more, being restrained not what I need right now, fuck this.

"Let me go" I demand, almost pleading with the way my voice stretches in the end like a roller-coaster, but he only huffs as he keeps walking I don't know where, all I can see being the street and the loud stupid car getting further and further away.

"Not before you calm down".

I frown and hit his back with a fist, each ones growing weaker and weaker as I go, but I'll be damned if I stop now, legs shuffling to try and make him drop me, and he does, except it's on purpose when my body hits soft grass before he's throwing himself on top of me, arms and legs caging me under him, his eyes dark and narrowed on my form.

"Enough, omega. You're going too far now" he growls, apparently tired of my temper tantrum, but it's not enough, I need help in controlling myself because I'm far gone and I can see that he's starting to understand what I need when he frowns, hesitation seeping into his orbs before they harden again.

Sitting up quickly, he pulls me harshly over him and then brings a hand to the back of my neck where he squeezes the skin for a scruffing and in a second, I fall limp against him, instant relief filling me as every emotions I was being swarmed with disappear to leave me empty and breathing harshly.

He holds me tightly to him, his body tensed like never before, an adrenaline rush because of the last few minutes having to watch me fall deeper and deeper out of reach and only once sure that I'm going to be okay now does he release my neck to comb through my hair instead.

He stays silent for a long moment, just stroking my hair gently, to give me time to recover and also to calm himself down, what he saw from me screaming - need to inform pack - because that was much more intense than anything he's ever experienced before, Namjoon would agree.

"Are you feeling better now, doll?" he asks softly and it takes me a little minute to find the strength to nod, face burrowing in his neck to hide from the outside world, wishing there would be blankets somewhere near, I feel like hiding under a huge pile of them for a few hours, exhaustion filling every cells of my body.

"I'm sorry" I murmur, to which he exhales audibly, his scent pushing out to soothe me, I like his much better than the scented air that was overwhelming the street earlier, you get used to it when in the middle of it all but damn, it's hard on the system.

"What's going on, doll? I... I understand that you've been alone for a long time, you're used to dealing with things on your own but... you have us now, we're true mates, we're stronger together, you can trust us. We'll always do our best to help you, no matter the problem" he tries again, needing to get to the bottom of this but once more, the walls remain strong, I can't, not yet.

I try to pull away from him to avoid answering but he brings me back within his embrace and shakes his head. "Okay, it's okay, we don't talk about it, I won't insist. Just promise me, doll, when you feel like it's becoming too much for you alone, come see us, please? Promise at least that for me".

Yeah... it sounds doable.

"... 'promise" I mumble, cheek squished against his shoulder, he hums at that, decides to try and satisfy himself with that little word for now, his mind storing the knowledge that pushing won't work, not with me.

He'll need to let the others know of what happened here, he can't keep this under silence, it wouldn't do to have me running all the time screaming at everyone I come across and attacking cars, not when it pushes me to such a state, the look he could see in my eyes one of pure powerlessness.

"Thank you" he murmurs into my hair, and he means it, a promise is already a lot, and it won't be forgotten.

And that's all for Iridescent love for a little while! I really enjoyed the last two weeks writing for it and I hope you did too!

Next week will be about Your candy scent, I hope to see everyone there! I love you lovelies, take care <3