@SophiaRoseSyne made this amazing edit of the massaging session with Hobi in chapter 11 and my heart is just 🥺😳🥰

Jimin's POV

"Where is she?" I ask as soon as I enter the house, the group chat running wild after Hoseok's description of what happened on their walk outside, when he took Y/N to get a phone as well as getting some fresh air.

He shared all about the way she got upset about something that she wouldn't open up about, when she got mad when he tried to help her before running off and how she needed to be scruffed to calm down again, her emotions out of control, he explained everything in details.

He didn't understand why that happened and he wanted help, guidance, but instead of it, he got swarmed by anger and disappointment from our mates.

Jin:
Hobi, you didn't bring any emergency nesting materials?!
She's still way too sensitive to be confronted to anything relatively stressful yet!!!
Her wolf doesn't understand anything, team that up with upsetting emotions and concerns and you've got a storm to clean up!!

Namjoon:
He's right hyung...
She's in a very vulnerable state right now, there's a lot of change going on around her, not just with her presenting as an omega, but also with her living conditions
Going from alone to being with seven wolves who she learns are her true mates, as well as being overly aware that we're... well... rich, it's a lot to take in
You should've asked her to wait outside after making her choose the phone, seeing your black card when she's been living in such awful conditions for so long?
I can't even begin to imagine what must have gone through her mind

Yoongi:
Hobi... you should've told us about your plan before going
It would've been better if one of us alphas came along, just in case
This could've been avoided

Even without seeing any members of the pack, it was easy to see that everyone was mad, and poor Hobi was right in the middle of it even though he hadn't meant for things to turn that way.

It just didn't cross his mind because she's fine when she's at home, such an unstable omega isn't something we're used to dealing with, how was he supposed to know that it would turn that way? He just wanted to make her smile, he wanted to spoil her, any of us would've done the same in his place.

"She's in her room, she hasn't come out since we've been back" I hear him answer weakly from the floor besides her door as I enter the corridor and the sight breaks my heart, his eyes red and puffy, clearly he's been crying upon learning that her tantrum was because he hadn't prepared enough for the eventuality of her becoming overwhelmed, just a scented hoodie or a fluffy scarf would've helped.

I make my way to him and kneel in front of his curled up body, hands cupping his cheeks to make him look at me, his sour oranges bathing in their own juice, like he's just on the verge of melting into a puddle on the ground to hide before the others get here.

"You didn't do it on purpose, hyung, okay? We all know that, the others are just on edge because they can't get to her now, they know that you didn't mean things to turn out that way, they're not in their right state of mind so don't take it too much to heart, hm?" I assure him, needing him to understand that.

When it concerns the well-being of your true mate and you can't even do anything to help, it's enough to make your wolf grow enraged. Biting off the finger that touched her hair for a millisecond becomes instinctive, they can't help it, even if Hoseok is our mate, as well as being her true mate too, their wolf doesn't care in the heat of the moment.

Hoseok knows that, he knows, but the beta can be so sensitive, it's easy to forget and indeed, at my words, his eyes fill with water again, his chin wobbling under my fingers and I whine at the sight, Hoseok crying such a rare thing, I hate seeing him in this state so much.

I push down my own burned papers and try to get my cinnamon out instead to soothe him, lips brushing against his closed eyelids to remind him that despite everything, we still love him very much, things will be fixed, we just need to learn how to take care of our new omega, all of us.

It's a learning process for everyone, none of us are perfect, we just need to take the time and share what we do know so that the whole pack can be on the same level of knowledge. A lack of information leads exactly to what happened today, Hoseok is not to blame for it.

"Do you want to go and make some soup, hyung? You two haven't eaten anything yet, right? It'll keep you busy while I take care of her, while I see if I can get her out of the nest" I suggest, wanting nothing more than to distract him with a task that he enjoys doing.

That's what I want, but at the mention of her empty stomach, he blinks quickly before letting out a quiet sob, hands reaching out to cover his face, shoulders shaking and making me hover over him, instincts just on the verge of making me pin him on the floor for an urgent scenting.

"I'm such a bad true mate, Jiminie, I completely forgot about lunch" he whimpers out and I wrap him in my arms, his head settled in the nook of my neck while I kiss the top of his head, my hold on him strong, the others really have been too harsh on him.

"You're not a bad true mate, hyung, not at all. We're all learning here, it's just not easy to do because Y/N herself doesn't know what she needs, what she wants, she doesn't know her limits either. We're not magicians, there's bound to be errors at some point, the important is that we learn from them, okay?".

He sniffles and nods his head lightly, rubs his nose into my skin to get more of my cinnamon, I let him get what he needs, his oranges not quite back to almonds yet, but at least with my own scent, his doesn't seem so bad anymore, it helps.

"Now, how about you get something done in the kitchen, hm? We'll be there soon, can you do that for me, sweet beta?" I ask him, the slightest hint of alpha voice used, and when he hums in approval before standing up to his feet with my help, I smile, pull him in to kiss his nose until he lets out a soft giggle before I let him go.

And when he's out of range, I sigh and turn my attention to the closed door, knowing that she's on the other side in... I don't know what state.

She must be upset because of the way she behaved earlier, she must believe that it was her overreacting or something of the kind, I hope she'll be willing to listen to me.

I just want her to know that just like Hoseok, it wasn't her fault, it's simply her wolf being overwhelmed as much as she is. It's not helping either of them, but they can't control that side of their bond yet, it's too new, they have so much to learn, our pretty little pups.

Hopefully the nest made her calm enough to let me in at least a little, I wish she would let me know what made her upset in the first place, Hoseok did write in the group chat that she admitted to having worries that she doesn't want to share, she doesn't want to be looked down upon.

I can understand the feeling, the need to keep a brave facade in front of others, to look like everything is fine when in fact, we're breaking from the inside. It's painful, yet so hard to stop, I don't want her to do the same as me, I don't want her to hurt in silence.

I open the door leading to her bedroom, expect to find her in the bed, I honestly imagined one big mountain of blankets with her right at the bottom, but when I find it intact, nest just as she'd left it and empty, I freeze, eyes looking around the room to find that there's no sign of her, none at all.

Not visually anyway.

Her scent though... it seems to be coming from the closet, the door shut on her.

Did she make herself a nest in there? She must have needed an additional feeling of safety, it wouldn't be unusual, but the nest hasn't been touched, she couldn't possibly have gone to get some stuff from the pack nest or our rooms, so what-

I shake my head in skepticism, unable to believe that she would do such a thing, she hasn't been hiding in there on the cold floor without anything to keep her warm, there's a limit to how mean you can be to yourself, if she's been denying herself her nesting instincts...

Anxious to find out, I open the closet's door and what I see has my guts churning, heart dropping to my feet, my wolf growling in despair and my blood boiling in my veins as I take in the sight in front of me.

Oh my poor omega... why do that to yourself?

To see her rolled like a cinnamon bun in the corner of the larger than small space with a pillow cover over her shoulders... it makes me want to cry, mind unable to process what I'm seeing, because why did she choose to be there instead of the nest we made for her?

Heck, it feels like anywhere would've been better than the spot she chose, this... cold, empty space.

There's no clothes in here, nothing to bring even the slightest sense of warmth, it makes me mad, fingers clenching in shock as my soul tries to process, to understand and failing right away because no matter the cause, this is wrong.

Her scent is stuck in a permanent storm even as she sleeps, arms hugging her shivering form, it has me reacting instantly, feet taking me to her before I scoop her up into my arms and gosh, her skin is freezing, this isn't okay, no matter what took place in her mind to convince herself that she deserved this, it will never be okay.

With a grumbling growl constantly echoing off of me, I ignore her nest as I make my way out of the closet to head to the pack nest instead where our mates' scents are strong and overwhelming in the best way possible, unable to think about anything other than the fact that I'll have to make her understand that from now on, ignoring your instincts in such a painful manner is a big no.

We even have a rule for that damn it! You do not forbid your wolf to seek comfort, no matter what happened prior to that need!

If Jin had been the one finding her miserable form in the closet, she would've gotten a huge earful until she would've started crying before he would even consider slowing down, because as a doctor for omegas, he stresses the fact that nesting is vital, an omega needs to nest often, no matter how weak it makes them look and feel.

You do not avoid nesting to look tough, or to punish yourself, there are plenty other ways to do that, but hurting yourself? Not one of them.

I reach the gigantic bed in the middle of the nesting room, one that was specifically made to fit seven grown men, blankets hung from the ceiling and draping around the handmade shelving unit surrounding the bed to create this cozy space with just enough fairy lights and candles to give it a romantic touch.

Each shelves were decorated carefully by us, pictures that we love, little figurines that we found cute as well as spare pillows, blankets and scented clothes, the pack nest is always ready to bring comfort.

And since Jin likes to do things with just a bit more impact than others normally do, he chose blankets with his face all over them, the Jin Kingdom, where your worries disappear, because how dare you be sad in heaven?

Gosh I love him.

Storm clouds bring me back to the matter at hand and after moving her to one arm so I can part the curtain of fabric to gain access to the bed with the other, a paradise of fluffy pillows and blankets, our clothes hidden somewhere in there, I doubt we're ever finding some of them to be honest, our omega was not taking any chances with us getting them back, they're here to stay, I settle her in the middle, grab the warmest thing I find to cover her freezing body with before turning my head towards the door.

"Beta, pack nest, now!".

Body itching to join her to take care of her properly, I get in the bed to spoon her, arms pulling her into my chest just as I hear feet hurrying over, Hoseok's nervous scent filling the space before he peeks into the nest to see her trembling in my arms.

"She was in the closet on the cold floor with a stupid pillow cover over her, get in and help me warm her up" I demand, take in the way his eyes widen in shock before he climbs in bed to lie down in front of her, his arms meeting mine over her body, his nerves registering her freezing skin and not liking it one bit.

"Why... why did she choose the floor when she has a nest? I don't understand, I really don't understand anything today" he mumbles, eyes meeting mine in confusion and pain, I can see his thought process clear as day.

If only she could be easier to read, the years that we've accumulated between us offering us a comfortable ease, we'd all forgotten what it meant to not know someone that well.

The process of learning every little quirk and habits to someone new, it's not an easy one and we can both see that we're going to struggle more than we'd like to admit, the journey with her won't be a simple one.

As long as Y/N doesn't want to open up to any of us, we're going to have to do this the tougher way - through trials and errors.

Gosh, she reminds me of how I was in the beginning. I swear, Namjoon had enough of my behavior more times than I can count, Jin even had to take me aside and scold me for over two hours once because I'd waited until getting really sick before even daring to open up about my pain.

That's one thing I regret, because it took from me what I loved the most at the time - dancing. Ends up that trying to ignore a constant pain in your ankle for too long can damage it severely.

I can't put my weight on it anymore, which means that I can't dance like I used to and it took me a long time to accept that new reality, and it's sadly what it took me to finally understand how important it is to not keep everything to yourself.

Sometimes it only results in more loss and pain than necessary.

What would she have to lose to understand that herself?

"She's going to tell us exactly why she did that when she wakes up, which shouldn't take too long now, not when she's surrounded by so many strong scents, I want her to explain to me her day, all of it in details" I answer Hoseok's question, eyes falling to the little I can see of her face, eyes already starting to move under her lids, they should open soon.

He purses his lips at my tone and decides to keep his mouth shut, because he knows to not risk it.

I can tolerate many things, but Y/N has breached many of these limits, all while sleeping, which I honestly didn't know was possible.

Yoongi did say that she seems to be the kind to lock her emotions away when she doesn't know how to handle them, that's something that makes me incredibly nervous since I know how it is, what it does to the mind.

On one hand, I won't shy away from being blunt if that's what she needs, and if she tries to counter my points without trying to understand, she won't find me funny, not today.

But on the other hand, if I do things right, there might very well be a chance that she opens up to tell us the exact same things she hadn't wanted to say to Hoseok earlier, it's all about pushing her in the right direction while being careful so that it doesn't turn back on us.

I won't insist, if she really doesn't want to open up, I will stop, but if the door is the slightest bit opened, I will fit as many inches through the gap as I can until we get to the bottom of this matter.

We'll just have to wait and see how it goes.

Your POV

When Hoseok and I had finally made it back to the pack's house, a taxi called to bring us back faster because my body had lost all of its strength, I'd gone straight to my room, the guilt of what I'd done growing with every passing minutes, I couldn't believe how I had behaved with Hoseok.

I could only see the pain on his face when I'd pushed him away, his confused orbs and parted lips playing on a loop in my mind. I had put that look on his face.

Why? Because I felt bad about being poor? Because I don't have an impressive job like them, or own a shop, a restaurant? Because he has a black card while I barely have anything left in my bank account?

When I ended up all by myself, it all suddenly seemed so superficial in my mind.

Hoseok just wanted to be nice to me, he wanted to give me a fun day, he wanted to show me that you can enjoy yourself without having to worry about every single thing, that the changes occurring to me didn't have to keep me from the things I like doing, and so, the walk previous to the store was sweet and filled with his voice, it felt good.

But then I'd taken a look at the soft looking nest that was made for me, and that guilt that was increasing in my soul had flared up, my heart screaming that I did not deserve such kindness when I had treated the beta in such a bad manner.

I didn't deserve the nest, but I still needed something relatively close to one and the closet was the only thing that could provide me that, no matter how uncomfortable it had looked, the pillow cover I had found on the floor completely useless as it covered my shoulders, but it was better than nothing.

That was what I deserved.

That's what I remember as my consciousness comes back to me, yet right now, what surrounds me is not cold and hard, limbs painful because of the harsh conditions I had forced upon myself.

It takes me a moment to process the scents surrounding me, all so familiar, the comfortable mattress under me, the softness of blankets around my body, and a heavy weight over my waist.

This is not the closet.

Unsure of where I am then, because my bedroom does not smell like that, I open my eyes to find myself face to face with Hoseok, his worried eyes already locked on mine, lips pursed tightly and his scent sour oranges, a whole bag of them, they've been dipping in the rain for days on end and now they're decomposing on the ground, a stack of burned papers not far from here, wet and in pieces.

The upsetting scents along with mine stick to most surfaces surrounding us, yet the room's scents are naturally so strong that they cover nearly every traces of distress, a mess of different perfumes all emptied at the same time to make sure they remain vivid and plentiful.

I shouldn't love the disharmony they create, almost none of them made to fit together in such high density, yet I do, they manage to keep me from falling deeper into a dark hole, like a safety net keeping my emotions from spilling into the ocean, it's warm, inviting and loving, because each of them represent the seven wolves, those gentle men who have rooted themselves into my life with soothing smiles.

I want to enjoy this perfect environment, I feel like I could just roll around and absorb everything that this room has to offer, yet at seeing Hoseok's sad face in front of me, that contentment immediately fades away, my body frozen in place as I stare back at him, mind lost between wanting to leave because I'm obviously making him sad while also needing to comfort him, for the exact same reason.

I blink quickly, lips curling downwards as my heart fills with nerves, knots forming all around it because I have no idea what is the right thing to do right now, am I even deserving of being here? This room must be the pack nest, why am I here?

"Are you awake now, omega?" a voice speaks up, and it's not Hoseok, his lips immobile, it makes me grow aware of the weight of two arms over my waist, as well as the warmth behind me, how could I not notice? Someone's hugging me from behind, that sounded like Jimin.

I nod slowly, the two wolves' scents not brightening up, they remain in their most upsetting state and it's making me become fidgety, senses on high alert as I try to understand why they're in that mood in the first place, is it because of what happened outside? Because I went on a tantrum?

"Do you remember what happened today?" Jimin asks next, I can't see him, I can only feel him and hear him and the way his voice echoes all around me, dry and cold, it gives life to chills that spread throughout all of my soul, not the good kind, it makes me scared, that he might be mad at me.

I nod my head again, eyes moving away from Hoseok's before I curl in on myself as much as possible, a hand going to grab the blanket over me to partially cover my head because this isn't nice.

Everything about them makes me overly conscious that I'm about to get reprimanded, and I sure earned it, Hoseok didn't do anything to deserve me treating him the way I did, it's only natural that they scold me.

"Words, omega, do you remember what happened today?" Jimin repeats, stricter and I hold back a whimper, fingers shaking as I part my lips to get a sound out, anything, but I'm just so nervous that my throat has locked up on me and I start becoming increasingly anxious, because Jimin asked something of me and I can't respond, will it make him more angry? I don't want that.

"Jimin... she's terrified" Hoseok murmurs, oranges dimming to become comforting almonds, soft and sweet, but he makes no move to physically reassure me, it seems Jimin holds control over this situation right now and he hasn't deemed me worthy of their comfort yet.

The alpha breathes in deeply behind me, forces his burned papers to give place to cinnamon, spicy and strong, like too much was poured over the almonds, the rain making everything soapy, but it still gets rid of the edge his scent was pushing over me.

"Take your time, omega. I want you to explain to me in details, what happened from the moment you left the house with Hoseok earlier, to waking up now, but know that you are safe, pack nest is safe, alpha and beta are safe" Jimin tries again, his vocabulary turning overly simple in the end, but a part of my soul jumps at those words, safe chanted in my mind by a voice that does not come from me, alpha and beta safe, no danger.

It's... oddly comforting.

I breathe in the scents surrounding me, try to find strength in them to open my mouth again, Jimin's assurance that I can take my time letting me know that he's not... filled with anger, or not that much anyway.

I still can't really determine an exact emotion by just hearing him and I have a feeling that seeing his face would only deepen that confusion for me, so I decide to keep my gaze locked on Hoseok's t-shirt, the little logo of a sun on his chest pocket the only thing I can dare look at right now.

From the moment we left the house, he said, right?

I think back to when we'd walked out the front door, Hoseok and I, after he'd massaged the sunscreen into my skin... we were both in a good mood, I felt good then, so it's with that in mind that I start talking.

Here goes nothing...

"When we left the house... it was fun, Hoseok made me pay attention to the nice scents, told me to focus on them if I ever become overwhelmed and none of you guys are around, the trees, the flowers... the sound of birds, the breeze in the leaves... I could see everything so clearly even from a distance and it was amazing, that part of the walk, I really enjoyed it".

I start slowly, words murmured into the blanket because it feels like an additional protection to my heart, my voice isn't loud but they hear me well and Hoseok's arm around me squeezes slightly, he's relieved to hear that at least not everything was a complete failure.

Jimin though, he remains silent, still as a rock but body burning like an oven, I know he's listening intently as I try to do what he asked of me as best as I can, because I want the alpha to be happy with me.

"Then... we made it to that rich shopping district and... I started freaking out a little because I was used to that run-down one on the other side of the city, so to see those expensive shops... I could tell that the cheapest phone they had was way over my budget and I started feeling like running off.

I mean I tried, but Hoseok stopped me before I could, he soothed me and reassured me, although I have to say that his method... well it sent my heart on a bungee jump, I won't lie, he was pretty hot, it had my heart nearly bursting out of my chest" I blurt out and Hoseok blushes at that while Jimin hides a grin.

I shrug lightly before continuing, lips into an embarrassed pout. "And you know... him calling me a good pup... it strangely made me want to please him, it helped".

I get a little shy over the admission but Jimin asked for details and that's what I intend to give, and sure enough, it makes the beta perk up, his almonds getting a boost of baked, crunchy warmth while the alpha's cinnamon turns softer.

"And then..." I bite on my bottom lip, eyes downcast because that's where things started going downhill for me, didn't they?

Hoseok must realize too because he bites on his lips, eyes falling to his free hand between us, fingers clenching while Jimin keeps observing us in silence, his cinnamon pushing out a boosting wave to reassure us that everything is okay, his pheromones calming us, it keeps us from falling too far into regrets, for now.

"Finding the phone for me went pretty fast, what I preferred though was helping Hoseok choose the other devices for you guys, I liked that part since it wasn't for me, but then it was time to pay and... I mean I knew it would be expensive, but what really shocked me..." I sigh, now feeling bad, because looking back to that moment now that it's over, it really feels like my reaction was too much.

"Go on, my love, you're doing so good for us, our good omega. Everything is fine, no one is mad here" Jimin hums softly before nosing at the curve of my neck and I simply cannot resist the melt my body does at the act, the sound of his voice gone from that scary edge that was making me nervous.

It's now silky velvet against my ear, his cinnamon turning aromatic, it makes me think of pancakes on the terrace while it rains outside, Hoseok's almonds helping to make the air that much comforting, maybe an almond bread in the oven? And then a bottle of honey on the side to go along with both, sweet nectar in endless quantities.

Eager to keep that feeling of praise because it feels so much better than the previous emotions that were swarming me, I lean back against Jimin to get more of his warmth now that I know he's not mad at me and he kisses my exposed shoulder before wrapping both arms under the blanket and around my waist, one sliding under me to rest against my belly until I end up flat against his chest, it feels nice, the musky tone behind his natural scent enough to make me feel safer than ever.

I look up to meet Hoseok's eyes, his orbs soft as he gazes at me, encouraging and when he scoots closer to grab my hands in his, I pull them closer to my face to hide behind his large palms, lips pressing onto his wrists to calm my nervous heart because of what I'm going to say next, the part that is more personal.

It has both wolves starting to purr, instincts pleased because it shows them that I'm starting to relax even though I'm currently spilling the truth without restraint, it's just as Jimin had wished I would, and it amazes Hoseok, reminds him once more of how convincing the alpha can be without being obvious, he didn't even use his alpha voice on me.

I clear my throat lightly, uncomfortable, but the seven different scents further soothe my soul and I decide to just go and rip the bandage off, Hoseok wasn't wrong when he'd said that opening up to them would be better for me, that they were there for me, they deserve that much after all they've done for me already.

"When I saw the black card, it served to remind me that we're not from the same world" I admit finally, and Hoseok frowns, mouth opening to say something but Jimin stops him with one look before closing his eyes, ears entirely focused on my voice.

"You two didn't see my apartment but... it was pitiful, to be honest. Being sent there by my parents made me realize just how bad our relationship was to begin with, it's not like they couldn't afford better after all, I did grow up in an expensive house but... their money was never directed at me, never meant to be spent on me.

So I got used on living while spending as little as possible. Frozen food and ramyeon were what my usual meals consisted of and I didn't allow myself any sort of luxury even while going to that prestigious University. Everyone around me would flaunt their wealth in everyone's faces like they were the ones who earned it while I was there just trying to make it through the week with one good night sleep.

That was my life for so long that it became easy to forget that my adoptive parents were rich too, it just wasn't part of my immediate environment anymore, that changes the way you view money in the first place, so to me, a black card? Goodness, that was the loudest way to tell me that you guys are successful, impressive and doing something grand while I struggled to get a job as soon as I graduated.

All I could think about was my diploma, to make use of it and do something I hate because then, I wouldn't be so pitiful next to your pack, but... I didn't want that, and that made me upset, and I didn't want to be upset because I wanted to be happy for Hoseok, you guys like it when I smile, I wanted to be able to give him that, so I tried to bury my emotions and left outside to calm down.

I tried to do what he'd showed me, to focus on the good, and it helped, but I still felt so fragile and... when Hoseok asked me what was wrong, when he told me to share my concerns with him, I closed up instantly because I didn't know what I wanted myself, whether to do something I hate to feel like I belong, or to keep feeling like an outsider to avoid doing what I hate.

It kept spiraling down from there, everything started annoying me, my hair, my skin, everything, and then I ran. I didn't want to be like that, I didn't understand but I just... I felt sick and everything became too much and I felt angry and lost and I just wanted someone to get mad at me to help me, and when Hoseok scruffed me... it felt liberating, like that pressure weighing on me just disappeared, and then I grew ashamed and...

When we made it back home... I could only think about the way I'd hurt him with my outburst, the way I'd ruined our day out, that guilt would keep growing and when I saw the nest in my room... it felt... too loving, I didn't deserve to make use of something that was made with such good intentions when I had caused pain unnecessarily, so I went to the closet instead".

Saying it aloud like that... it makes me realize just how ridiculous it all was, that all of this happened for such a stupid reason, but before I can even start regretting telling them so much, there was a reason why I didn't want to in the first place, Hoseok hugs me tightly against Jimin, his face burying in my neck while the alpha kisses my head, his chest rumbling in approval and pride.

"Thank you for telling us everything, my sweet 'mega, alpha is so proud of you" he hums against my hair and it's like his voice holds magic because those simple words make my embarrassment turn into relief, it makes me feel sheepish, it's getting ridiculous how easy to please I am.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N, I didn't mean to make you go through all those emotions when I took you out today, that really wasn't my goal, far from it, but I messed up so bad" Hoseok eventually murmurs from my neck and I pause, that was the last thing I'd expected to hear, why is he even apologizing?

"Hoseok, no, you didn't mess up anything, I-I did, it was just me and my stupid problems getting in the way, you didn't do anything bad" I try to reassure him but he shakes his head before pulling back to gaze at me, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

"No, it was all my fault. The others got mad at me earlier, scolded me because I didn't bring nesting materials in case your emotions would overwhelm you and that caused you to lose control, I wasn't equipped to help you properly" he insists, his sad face enough to have my heart splitting in half.

What does not nesting have to do with me losing control? It can't be that bad, can it? I got that way because I let my thoughts and worries get the best of me.

Jimin hums and shifts a little to be more comfortable, a hand going to free up my face from my hair so he can see me better as he props his upper body on one elbow and I finally get to see him for the first time since earlier, his gentle eyes gazing over me as his hair falls slightly over them.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Y/N, Hoseok hyung is right. Not many of us would've thought to bring anything, but it definitely would've helped you, just a scented piece of clothe and we might have avoided that burst of anger. You see, your wolf is new to everything, all it knows for now is you and your emotions, it's so closely connected to you that it will feel all of them just as you do.

The problem, is that it doesn't understand where those problems come from, or the source at all, so when it gets to experience them the same way you do, it doesn't know how to process, and when you start feeling like you're getting overwhelmed by every little details, it's your wolf starting to panic.

So while the emotions might have been yours, the way they increased until they got out of hand, the way they got taken out of proportions, when you needed Hoseok to scruff you, you wolf also needed it, because it didn't know how to calm down. You two have a lot to adjust to, and as an omega, nesting is already a natural need, so in your condition, it will raise to the surface more often.

Jin usually has an emergency nesting blanket when he leaves the house for the day, when he knows that where he's going, he won't have a nest nearby, he tries to encourage every omegas he meets at the clinic to do the same, so it's not just you, let me assure you, it's every omegas, it's just that in your case, it's even more important because it would assure safety to your wolf, it would give it time to process new information without getting scared

In that sense, let me assure you once more, what happened today, it wasn't on you. The way you got mad, the way you felt, it's not you being overly sensitive, it's only your wolf needing a time out. From now on, whenever you feel like the emotions washing over you are stronger than they should, whenever you feel uncomfortable, easily stressed and jumpy, either come to one of us, or go to a nest, okay? It can be yours, it can be the pack nest, any is fine, as long as you allow your wolf what it needs".

So... it's just my wolf being a baby in an adult body, with adult problems but only able to process them with a baby mind? Because when I think about it, if it had to focus all its life on fighting the poison, in a state of semi-consciousness, it never really grew up, did it? It just survived.

It helps me understand better, the way I keep getting overwhelmed, that night at the hospital, it wasn't just me, it was my wolf too discovering a world it knows nothing about, that's why it brought me to that small, dark little space in the playground, it lowered the interactions to that world to a maximum.

"Then... when I slept in the closet earlier, because I felt like I didn't deserve it..." I start, watch as Jimin's eyes soften further, body relaxing before he nods.

"That was like telling your wolf that it not understanding your emotions was bad, and it does not need to feel that way, not at all. It's doing its best to learn, it's just hard to do in such a short amount of time. You see, my love, wolves are very sensitive creatures, they are driven by their instincts and in turn, since we're so closely connected, we end up being driven by them, which is why finding a balance is so important.

If you always deny your wolf what it needs, be it scenting, nesting, playing around, shifting - we'll go over that soon - all of those things are necessary for its well-being. What you need to understand about our kind, is that we are two entities in one body. Taking care of yourself is taking care of your wolf, and taking care of your wolf is taking care of yourself, it depends fully on you after all, you are the main control of your body.

That is why I'm going to ask you to please never do what you did ever again. If you feel like you need to nest, then you nest, no matter what happened before, it's especially more important if you feel like you don't deserve it. Don't feed your guilt, don't give it reasons to exist, don't give it power over your worth, that would make us so very sad. If you feel like you really can't nest, then come to us, we'll help you, take care of you, okay? Can you promise that for me?".

Hoseok's arms hold me tighter, body tensed as he waits for my answer and so does Jimin's, it makes me conscious of how important this is, that more than a promise for them, it's also a promise to myself, a promise from me to me, to give me the love I deserve, even when I feel like I don't deserve it.

Can I really do that? All my life, I've had to deny myself the things I desired, the things I wanted, I had to live with the disappointment of having them taken from me, a lonely soul against the world, but...

Things have changed now, haven't they?

I kept thinking that I don't have an impressive job like them, but Jungkook and Yoongi, they both recruited me because they liked me, because they believed in me, they need my help, isn't that much more important than any prestige?

I kept focusing on money, because money is an item used in a mean to survive, I never used it for my personal enjoyment, but I don't have to just... survive anymore, because I have seven men who want to provide for me, seven wolves who want to help me and take care of me.

I was alone, but now I have seven true mates, wolves who smell of honey, honey that constantly drips over my heart like a warm embrace, it's starting to layer, coat over coat until it forms a barrier against the pain that used to swarm me in the past.

Feelings of not being wanted, of being abandoned by my own family, of disappointing them when all I wanted was their approval, for them to accept me as I am, these men are giving me exactly what I needed, so... why am I still so scared?

Why is the idea of allowing myself what I need so hard to accept? Maybe it's just the changes occurring being too abrupt, too drastic, but does that mean I should hurt myself in the process of getting used to my new circumstances just because I can?

Said like that, it sure sounds stupid. I did not choose for my life to go the way it did, and if now I'm allowed to be comfortable, why reject it so adamantly?

I might not be able to change my mindset in a single day, but seeing as they all must own that darned black card, I should at least start with that part of my new reality, these men are filthy rich and there's no getting rid of that.

It's just that they don't flaunt it like everyone else, they don't take pride in having the money, they take pride in using it for their loved ones.

I turn my gaze back to Jimin, his own patiently trained on me, I wonder how much he could guess from my thoughts, how much he could see in my orbs, because he looks proud, like he knows exactly what conclusion I'm ending at.

They all want me and nothing will take that from them, not even me.

I smile at him, tilt my head into his touch when he brings a warm hand to my cheek, Hoseok's breath against my skin, the absent wolves' scents around us, hugging us with their memories, ghosts of smiles all adding to each other and warming my soul and...

"I promise I'll do my best to learn... how to be good to myself, I'll try that".