By bookwormlisa

Title: the title is interesting and seems to attract readers.

Blurb: I'm not a fan of your blurb, sorry. It's too short; plus, it's just info dump. I commend you for introducing the main character, but I expect you to present at least a part of the conflict in the story.

Cover: It's basic but effective. It's not bad. But, maybe, a better, more relatable cover would be better.

Plot: The plot itself is interesting, but its execution is not up to par. I mean, each chapter seems to be disjointed from one another. They're also too short and lacking descriptions overall. Plus, you introduce too many characters at a time, which confused me. You also need to work on your dialogues, as the passages between dialogues and narration are not clear.

Grammar: there are several typos, but nothing that can't be fixed easily. What bothers me the most, however, is your choppy sentences and overuse of full stops. Plus, you seem to use linkers incorrectly. I'd advise you asked an editor for help.

Overall rating: 5.5/10

Would I recommend reading this story? The story itself is interesting, but could be written much better. I'd recommend reading it only if you are patient enough to bear with an unedited, draft-like story; otherwise, I'd advise you to skip it and turn to something else.