Hey YouTube, if you could stop recommending me really sad things I'd really appreciate not seeing characters I love either dying or being in emotional pain whether it be a clip from a show or a sad edit 

So here's a character being in an emotional pain

Blame YouTube

EDIT: TW SUICIDAL THEMES

https://sossilenceofsuicide.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw38-DBhDpARIsADJ3kjn2gCMdx_ygHYr5QLZ2-e8R-x2vJeB3JUYGBJkUzP2E1XTPkHRmGMAaAnhkEALw_wcB

https://suicideprevention.ca/

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

This was the first time in a few months that Dick was sitting in his apartment alone. He was watching the news as he waited on a text from Wally. Occasionally, he took sips of his cup of tea to keep him calm. Admittedly, he really missed the ginger even though he'd only gone out for a few things and was only gone a matter of twenty minutes. He couldn't help it. Ever since Wally returned from the speed force, not being near him held this awful weight on Dick's chest. He hadn't told him about it. It would only worry Wally and these months weren't about himself. They were about putting their lives back together and helping the speedster return to some sort of normality after it happened. Though he didn't doubt that the missed patrols and clinginess raised alarms, it didn't reveal the true extent of the problem.

A loud dramatic jingle caught his attention and brought his eyes off his phone. The TV displayed a large shop on fire. Outside were firefighters and police who were escorting a group of people wearing wacky costumes to their cars. "Another villain," he muttered to himself. He should be more fazed by it but they happened so often that he'd long since become desensitized to it. The loss of life would give him a shock but seeing the damage did little to jostle him anymore. He continued to listen. The attack was in Bludhaven. His attention peaked and he gave the TV his full attention. Okay, just because it was Bludhaven didn't mean anything. It could be on the other side of town. Wally might not even be near there. He was fine. Everything was fine. Despite his wishful thinking, his breathing hitched and increased as he sat on the edge of his seat trying to listen to the report over the sound of his own heart beating in his ears. His palms were getting sweaty whilst the reporter listed the events of the evening. He didn't care about how the police reprimanded the idiots who decided to do this for something or other, he wanted to know if Wally was there. The shop was Target. There were three Targets in Bludhaven. Wally said he was going to Target. His mouth suddenly felt too dry for words. Oh, the Target on fire was close to their apartment building? Three victims already found? Wally might not be there, he tried to assure himself. He liked his walks. He could've gone to a different one, deciding he fancied a long walk. Yeah, that sounded right. Then his eyes just happened to glance away from the reporter. There was a body being covered up. He couldn't see them very well. Just a tuft of...ginger hair. Wally had ginger hair.

Dick dropped his cup of tea and it smashed on the floor. He jumped up from the couch. He couldn't lose him again. It hurt too much to lose him the first time. Everything lost meaning. He'd considered things he never would've considered if Wally were by his side. He'd always been his logical better half, believe it or not. Wally kept him sane. Kept him from doing the dumbest things he would've done without a second thought. He needed him. The last time he was left without Wally, he eventually he got out of his funk but there was always that missing part of his life that nothing could fill. That position was never filled by anyone, mostly because it never could be filled by anyone other than the emerald-eyed idiot love of his life. He'd always wish Wally was around to see and hear things that he knew would draw that adorable laugh out. There was always that sorrowful tinge to all the fun he had since his mind always jumped to "Wouldn't it be better if Wally was here?" He felt his throat close up in apprehension of the sobs that were sure to come out. His eyes were already tearing up and allowing some to trickle down his cheeks. His touch on reality was beginning to slip.

"Kid Flash! What a pleasure to see you!" a reporter greeted. Dick's eyes snapped back into focus, freeing him from his panic long enough for him to see Wally, kitted out in his hero suit, grinning at the reporter. He was right there. That smile Dick loved was on his face. Dick scanned his eyes over what the camera showed of his lover as Wally talked about being lucky. He looked fine. Nothing was bleeding too much. A few burns here and there but nothing that was life-threatening. He could fix them up and they'd heal no problem. Wally was perfectly fine so why did his chest feel so tight? Breathing wasn't supposed to take so much effort to even out. "I'd love to stay and chat but I have someone to be getting back to," Wally said, wrapping up his interview and winking into the camera.

"Could that person be Nightwing?" Wally was gone before she could get a reply. She continued to report on the attack and interviewing whoever she could get her hands on. Dick heard his phone ring and scrambled to answer. 

"Did you see the news? I swear villains don't have any fun motives anymore. Sure causing chaos was always part of the motive but they always had a fun main plot," Wally ranted. He didn't sound out of breath considering he'd just saved shoppers from the burning Target. Dick, on the other hand, did sound out of breath. In fact, he could hardly catch his breath. He didn't know why. He knew Wally was alive but there was a nagging voice in the back of his head saying he'd suddenly wake up, revealing this to be a dream. "Are you okay? Have you just finished exercising or something?" He was given a perfect way out but no words came out. "Dick? Dick, what's wrong?"

"Nothing!" he finally forced out. "Just ran to the phone after working out."

"Oh, good. You had me worried for a second. Anywho, I'll be home soon."

"Great." Wally hung up and Dick let out a sigh of relief. He looked down at his feet were his now lukewarm tea was seeping into his socks. The broken bits of his cup wasn't too far apart from one another. It would only be a quick clean up.

By the time Wally got home, his breathing was back to normal and he was able to talk easily. The speedster had dismissed the odd events of that afternoon until it was night time. He got into bed with Dick and began kissing along his neck, leaving small hickeys on his skin. He loved the way they looked. However, he paused when he saw Dick's body language was all off. Normally he'd turn over and wrapped his arms around him with a giggle, inviting him to carry on. Tonight, he continued to lay on his side and let Wally do what he wanted to do. "I know you can be a lazy bottom sometimes but this is a little much," he joked, yet his tone was concerned.

"Sorry," the acrobat replied softly, curling up in on himself. His shoulders subtly shook even though the room wasn't cold. Wally's eyebrows furrowed and he moved so he was now in front of his boyfriend. He cupped the smaller's face, seeing the sad look on his face. "Don't be sorry. You can say no." Cautiously, he put his arms around Dick. He didn't know what was up with his boyfriend but he didn't like the energy surrounding them. Something was wrong but he didn't know what. Dick cuddled up to him, hiding his face in the other's chest. "Tell me what's going on," Wally said. He felt Dick clutch at his nightshirt. Although it hurt his heart to push at a subject Dick didn't want to talk about, his better judgment kicked in to make him do it. "You need to tell me. I don't want you to be upset."

"It's not fair. This time should be about focusing on you, not me." Wally raised a confused eyebrow and moved so he could get a better look at the acrobat hero's face. He could just about spot his watery eyes blue eyes staring up at him. "Please?"

"That Target that was set on fire today, it was on the news. You said you were going to Target and you hadn't answered my text so when I saw someone with ginger hair I-"

Dick was cut off by his growing manic breathing. It must've crept on him whilst he put himself back in the moment. He squeezed his eyes shut and held onto Wally's shirt tighter as he tried to slow it down. "I'm here. Everything's okay." Something in Dick snapped. He sat up and pushed Wally off him, allowing his breath to grow frantic again. He couldn't listen to the same old comforting words anymore. "No, it's not! I completely freaked out today!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. "I immediately thought I lost you and I just can't live without you again."

"I'm not going anywhere," Wally assured him but it did little to calm him down.

"You've said that before then you went somewhere. What if the next time you go somewhere, you don't come back? I won't live alone again!"

A heavy silence consumed the room. They stared at each other as they came to terms with the statement. This wasn't something they could just brush under the rug, both parties knew that. This was a serious and concerning thing. Dick was the first to look away. He bit his bottom lip and began fiddling with the bedsheets. He didn't want to talk about this anymore but they had to. Otherwise neither would get a good night's sleep. "Dick, are you suggesting if I die for real, you'll follow suit?" Wally asked. His voice was barely above a whisper. Dick nodded silently, avoiding eye contact. "You can't do that. I won't let you do that. We're not forming some kind of suicide pact!"

"Why not?" he replied desperately.

"Why not? Because you have a family! One that is growing by the minute and needs you!" Dick opened his mouth to counter but couldn't find a good retort so he closed it. "You've lost family, you can't put them through that." He moved closer to his boyfriend and put an arm around him. At the touch, Dick broke down into sobs and hugged Wally tightly. What was he saying? He couldn't leave his family like that. They needed him. He was the most stable one out of all of them surprisingly. Killing himself wasn't going to bring any good to anyone. Not only would people mourn Wally, but they'd also mourn him too. He'd seen the somber atmosphere a death caused, he didn't want to be the cause of that doubling. "I'm sorry," he cried. Wally shushed him as he felt tears run down his face too. They stayed holding each other for a while, neither wanting to let go.

"Don't think for a minute I won't haunt your ass if you even think about doing something like that," Wally said. Joking was the most he could do at the moment to deal with what he heard. Dick cackled softly, glancing up at him. 

"I suppose I'm being silly."

"No, you're not! Let's be honest, we were both a little short-sighted to think everything would be okay right after I came back," he explained, running his fingers through the other's raven locks. He watched Dick melt into his touch, his shoulders finally relaxing. "We should've gone to someone," he said.

"Isn't that just like us? Still the same kids who thought we could do it all on our own."

"Isn't it just?" He kissed Dick on his forehead, wiping away the tears falling down the other's face with his thumb. "We should see someone now though. Whilst neither of us is dying," he added.

"I suppose we should. I'd like for you to leave the house for more than half an hour without me struggling to breathe. Miss enjoying my alone time," Dick admitted. There was a dullness in his eyes that Wally had been seeing for a while. He wished he did something to make it go away sooner rather than just thinking it'll come back on its own. "I miss not getting scared by the dark and loud noises," Wally admitted. Dick frowned. That would explain why he kept the TV on at night and refused to watch any action movies, even his favourite ones. "You know one thing I don't miss? You stealing the covers at night," he added, trying to lighten the mood. Luckily, Dick caught on to what he wanted and wanted the same. 

"I don't miss you stealing all the good food."

They shared a laugh, the mood slowly getting better. "I'll call Canary, ask her for some help," Dick stated, staying snuggled up to his boyfriend. He definitely missed this part. Staying so close to him that there was no space between them and the world was merely a background. "Oh I thought you'd be calling the local psych, I'm sure every other couple has had that moment where one of them goes into the speed force and returns years later."

"Don't remind me," Dick whispered, his clutch on Wally's shirt tightening.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm guessing we're not on joking terms about it?"

"Not just yet." He yawned, leaning further on the ginger. "Suppose we will be, one day. Jay talks about dying all the time," he suggested. They lay back down, Dick still in Wally's arms as they pulled the covers back up over them. "We're just a mess, aren't we?" he commented.

"We're a hot mess, get it right."

"Shut up," Dick said, kissing him on the lips sweetly. He really missed Wally. He missed so much about him. 

"I love you," Wally stated, kissing him back.

"I love you too."