Aromantic_Satan's request part two

TW: mentions of suicide and thoughts of suicide

https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines   -   here are a list of suicide hotlines if you're experiencing suicidal thoughts and I hope you seek help if you feel like that

Dick had been at home for a few days now and things seemed to be on the right track. He'd just about remembered small bits of information he knew about his family but there much more. He still had difficulty telling their traits apart since they shared the same hair colour and similar haircuts. Nobody minded when he did though. Him just being alive and back home was enough for them. The more he remembered the more his eyes got just a tad bit bluer. It was as though the Court no longer had hold of him. The change made his family come to terms with the fact that he might one day be their Dick Grayson, aside with the unmoving yellow marks trailing underneath his skin. With a bit of makeup, they could probably hide that aspect. The main thing was that his eyes were becoming normal again and they could relish in that fact.

Then they got a reminder that the court never let go of their 'property' well. Dick was sitting with Tim, relearning the history of the Justice League. He seemed to take a liking to Flash when he was told the stories. He said he was funny. Tim laughed to himself, seeing that the younger still had a liking towards Flash's almost criminally bad jokes. Damian entered the room and sat in the armchair opposite the pair, suppressing his want to grin at Dick who had his head on Tim's lap. He noticed that he'd gotten back to liking touching, though you had to give forewarning before initiating it. "I don't think I can be a hero anymore," Dick muttered passingly. The older pair frowned at him. 

"Why would you think that?" Tim asked worriedly. What if this was a sign that he didn't want to fight for good anymore? That would really throw a spanner into the works. 

"Because I'm a Talon now. I'm not a good person like I used to be," he explained.

"Grayson, you are not a Talon. You are a Wayne. You are a hero again, no doubts about it," Damian assured him.

"How can I be a hero again if I've killed people?"

"Have I not spilt blood?"

"You have," Dick replied slowly.

"Do you think I'm a hero?" Dick nodded. "Then you can be a hero too. It's not about the origins, it's about what you do. If you want to be a good person and be a hero, you can." Dick didn't seem convinced. He sat up and folded his legs so he could rest his elbow on his knee and put the weight of his head on his hand. "But I'm still a Talon. My prime directive right now is supposed to be to kill myself since I'm in enemy captivity," he argued. Name dropping suicide didn't bother him but it very much bothered his brothers. 

"What?" Tim shrieked.

"You didn't know? A Talon, in order to protect the secrets of the Court of Owls, must give up their life once captured by the enemy," Dick recited. They didn't like that he seemed to know the exact wording off by heart. It must've been drilled into him that his life was worthless. "But wouldn't that mean you would've killed yourself by now?" Damian inquired. 

"Well yeah but I don't have the means. Every Talon has a device that once they're behind enemy lines will send a message to a higher up. The higher up has access to the only thing that gives us permanent death and gets it into the place we are. We get it, we kill ourselves, the Court can rest easy," Dick explained. They stared at him in shock. They knew the Court of Owls wouldn't take his loss very easily but this meant they would actively look for him. 

"You don't have the device, right?" Tim asked. Dick shook his head, letting them breathe a sigh of relief.

"I'd be dead if I had."

"So remembering us wouldn't have an effect on whether you would kill yourself or not?" Damian questioned. This caused the younger to take a minute to think about it. He hadn't dwelled too much on the subject but now he thought about it, he was unsure. "I-I don't know. Talons are wiped of their memory for a reason. I suppose it would factor into whether we followed protocol."

With this heavy news now weighing on the brothers, they thought they might just get long enough to come to terms with what they heard. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case. A crash from the window behind them alerted them to the intruder that had his face covered. They knew in an instant what he was there for and there was no way that they would let him take Dick. Dick seemed to share this idea, jumping up with a stern expression. His eyes caught the light, shining a vibrant gold. All the blue that had returned was now destroyed by the sudden danger. There wasn't sufficient time to take much notice of it since the intruder posed more of a threat but Tim didn't fail to commit the change to memory. "Make this easy on yourselves and just give me the kid," the intruder spoke. They recognised the voice as being William Cobbs (shout out to Supergirl406 for reminding me of their name) a higher-up within the Court as they had feared. "He belongs with us," Tim argued. Weapons would be great about now but the best he had was his phone. He discreetly began calling Bruce and set the phone down, knowing that his dad was in the Batcave. "Does he now? Look at him then repeat that," William responded snarkily. Tim looked down to see the call had gone through. Now was his chance. 

"You can't come into our home, our library nonetheless, and try to take Dick back. It's plain rude," he announced, making sure he was loud enough for the phone to pick his voice up. 

"I'm done chatting. Have you chosen the easy way or the hard way?"

"I fancy a challenge, let's go the hard way," Tim retorted.

Upon hearing the call, Bruce and Jason raced upstairs with their weapons and headed straight to the library. They got to the doorway and surveyed the scene, finding that Tim was being slammed against a bookshelf, Damian was trying to pick himself off the floor and Dick was avoiding the intruder's punches. The pair quickly jumped in and allowed the trio to take a second to catch their breath. Damian gladly joined in as soon as he shook away the black dots that were trying to invade his vision and ordered Dick to help Tim up. The teen reluctantly did so, managing to miss the fight and the defeat of William. He thought it was odd that William gave up so easily since he'd heard that he'd killed ten people within seconds. Then something cylindrical hit his foot. He glanced down and picked the object up. It was a needle. The liquid inside was a teal colour. Dick knew what it was instantly. "Dick?" Tim asked, seeing his brother stare intently at the needle. Dick didn't reply and rolled up his sleeve, getting himself ready to inject himself with it. "What is that?" Tim added. He attempted to grab the other's arm but was pushed back to the floor harshly. Dick took a few steps back to create some distance. "Dick, don't do it!" Tim yelled, gaining their family's attention. 

"Do it, that's an order!" William shouted. He received a punch from Damian to keep him quiet. They stared at him and attempted to move to get the needle away but Dick moved back speedily. He tapped at a vein and inserted the needle but he couldn't bring himself to inject the needle. His teeth gritted together as he had an internal debate with himself. Talons had to kill themselves when in this situation. His position as a Talon was compromised so he had to do it. But his family were there. Damian worked so hard to bring him back. They actually cared for him; the Court didn't have his best interests at heart. It all came down to one question. Was he a Talon or was he a Wayne?

Shattered glass slid along the floor and the teal liquid held within it seeped into the patterned rug. Dick stared at the liquid being absorbed, shocked. His family stared at him, shocked. William stared at the family, shocked...that they would give him such a great exit route. He stomped on Bruce's foot, forcing the man to release his grip on him, then escaped through the window. He didn't have any more business if Dick was no longer a Talon. A Talon never disobeyed an order. Though, he made a mental note to improve their brainwashing techniques in order to prevent their subjects from gaining memories again. They couldn't have a load of their best soldiers regaining their memories and suddenly not following their orders. It would be chaos. None of the family members moved to go after him. "I didn't follow an order," Dick stated.

"You didn't follow an order," Jason repeated. Dick's eyes retreated back to a mix of gold and blue. They glistened with his unshed tears as he slowly removed his eyes from their fixed spot and up to the others. "I'm supposed to follow orders," he said breathlessly. 

"You're supposed to follow orders," Tim repeated.

"Stop repeating me, it's getting old fast," the younger said with a slight smirk. Everyone was still awestruck that he'd actually done it. His knees buckled and he fell to the floor, holding his arms and squeezing them lightly to check this was definitely his reality. Damian vaulted over the couch and was by his side before Dick knew it. Bruce followed suit and ran to be with his son. "Are you alright?" Bruce asked, rolling his sleeve down. 

"Have you ever felt so excited you sorta want to throw up but also want to scream?" Dick replied. He gained a chuckle from those around him, making him smile to himself.

"So are you a Talon still or?" Jason asked.

"I'm just as lost as you are. I follow orders. It's what I'm made to do but," his sentence trailed off as he looked at his hands. They'd been so ready to betray him and press down on the needle yet they resisted. "You stopped yourself," Damian finished on his behalf. Dick nodded and returned his gaze to his older with a grin. 

"I'm a Wayne like you said."

Suddenly he jumped up with an excited giggle. He was shaking but it was a good shake. One that came from pure exhilaration and happiness. "Oh my God, I-I can be a hero again! If I can stop myself then that means I can retrain myself, right?" he proclaimed, his hands clasped together.

"I can't see why not," Tim responded. Damian and Bruce rose to their feet. They'd started to fear they wouldn't see the ball of energy that Dick used to be but he was practically bouncing up and down right in front of them at the prospect of regaining some remnants of his former identity. "I can help people! Maybe my eyes will get bluer and I'll look like me again! Who knows?"

"I really hope they get bluer. No offence but your eyes are still terrifying," Jason commented, gaining a light-hearted punch from the younger. 

"And we could get some of the girls to teach you how to cover up the marks! Oh, he could join Young Justice once he remembers Wally!" Tim exclaimed, now getting just as ecstatic as the former Talon. 

"I don't know what that is but it sounds great!" Dick replied. Tim opened his arms and Dick quickly enveloped him in a hug. The older motioned for the others to join. Bruce joined within an instant of seeing the invitation, Damian following and pulling Jason in. "Who would've thought nearly killing myself would end so happily?" Dick muttered through a giggle.

"No one but you better not do that again. I'm getting too old for that," Bruce replied.

"I'll try."