Yes this is angsty but I go back to college on Tuesday and I can't stop panicking so let's just make a character go through the same shit

EDIT: TW PANIC ATTACKS

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-a-panic-attack

https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/anxiety-and-panic/how-to-deal-with-panic-attacks

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/panic-attacks/

Nothing's right. Everything is wrong. Dick tried to make it down the hallway but there had to be hundreds, no, thousands of students pushing against him and barging by to get to their classes. This was his free period. He'd worked so hard to get it by pushing himself to get ahead and now he was going to waste it. His trembling hands took hold of his grey bag straps with the hope that this would ground him. That he'd be plucked out, his heart fixed and breathing normal, then put back into the hallway. His eyes were beginning to water as his eyes darted around. Faces. Too many faces. Hispanic, white, black, mixed, white, black, Hispanic, mixed, Chinese, Japanese, white, Chinese. All had different haircuts, different eyes, and different face structures. He could smell too much. Strong deodorant from boys who didn't know how much was too much and different perfumes from the girls that stung his nose. He felt sick when someone wore something sweet. The vanilla would mix with Lynx and create an ungodly concoction. He whipped around constantly at the chatter. Stacey was going to Brad's party. There's math homework due. A try out is tonight but he didn't catch for what. Miss Dreg is pregnant with twins. One of the teachers has Tindr. God, he can't breathe. The air around him is slowly leaving, being stolen by the other students. Where was someone he could trust? Where was Babs? Where was Artemis? They were supposed to be here. Why aren't they here? Dick's pace picked up as he begged for an exit. There isn't one. It's just students as far as the eye can see. He'll never be free from the sea of people. He was right in the middle of it too. He needed to get to the lockers. He needed to feel the cold metal against his skin. Maybe tracing his hand along it as he tried to find the entrance to the canteen. C'mon, it had to be somewhere. It had to be! Did he pass it already? Was he even heading towards it? His pace picked up again as his breathing went manic. He needed out. Students were shooting him looks. He couldn't tell which were concerned and which were annoyed. They melted together. He wanted to scream but his throat constricted in a way that made it impossible. There was no way he could even squeak let alone scream. He was running now. Running from what he didn't know. He needed to get out. Right now. He couldn't stay a moment longer in this bastard hallway. His chest was aching from heavy but he daren't stop to slow it down because that would just mean more time walking through the hallway. 

Finally, there was something. The fluorescent white lights from above illuminated the double blue doors that would bring him into the comforting wide and empty space of the canteen. Babs would be in there. She'd help. But she wanted her right now. He needed someone to tell him he wasn't dying because it sure did feel like it right now. He sped up, whispering sorry to anyone he accidentally bumped in his pursuit of the safe haven. Dick's mouth was so unbelievably dry from how hard he was breathing. He felt like he could pass out. If he passed a mirror or something reflective he would've noticed that his face was paler than a sheet of paper and he looked like he could throw up at any second. He felt like he could too. His stomach churned unhappily with anxiety. He kept running and running until finally, he had his hands on the door. He pushed them open and stumbled inside, his eyes scurrying the empty seats for someone. A friend. A person to help. But the canteen was empty. Not even the dinner ladies were there. It was just him. Somehow this felt just as bad as the hallway. The tall ceilings and harsh lights made him feel awful. His eyes narrowed at how bright it was compared to the hallway. He tried to get to the seats but the thought of letting go of the reassuring wooden door was too scary to be an option. Dick shuffled to the side so his hand was now on the wall and people could get through the doors. Maybe those people would help him. He prayed someone would help him. He slowly slid down the wall and pulled his knees to his chest but the position only made the empty room even more menacing. Terrified tears were running down his face, leaving his cheeks uncomfortably wet. He didn't know why he thought he was dying. He didn't know what caused it. He was just walking down the hallway on his own, thinking. He didn't mean to think about the horrible things he'd seen. It was just the red paint spot on the floor sort of looked like blood and it led on from there, taking a life of his own. He pressed his back against the cold white wall. Nothing. Nothing could stop it. He wanted it to be over. God he just wanted to be taken right now. He didn't want to feel it. Everything ached and his mind was so fuzzy. It hurt. 

"Dick?" Barbara asked but he was too far in the spiral to notice. The silence he was sitting in was so loud that he was deafened to his surroundings. She rushed over and knelt beside him as Artemis followed her in. They'd been a little late showing up, no more than ten minutes, since they got caught up with helping a new kid on where their class was. The blonde looked at her friend worriedly. "What's wrong with him?" she asked. He was breathing like he was running for his life yet he was just sitting in place. 

"He's having an attack. Get my earphones and my iPod, they're in the big pocket of my bag," Barbara replied. She slowly reached out for the younger's arm as to not startle him. When her hand touched the material of his blazer, his head snapped towards her fearfully before he relaxed. He knew that face. He knew those eyes. He knew the person kneeling beside him. "I-I d-don't," was all he could stutter out. His jaw seized up. His body didn't want its secret to be told. It wanted to drag him down deeper into this horrible state of being and keep him there until he was completely crushed under the pressure. "Don't speak, I know what's going on. Take a deep breath like me." He watched her carefully, willing to do just about anything to feel better. She breathed in deeply, he followed. She let out the breath, he followed. His hitched a lot but it was better than before. She repeated this until Artemis walked over with the iPod and earphones. "Find Dick's playlist," she ordered. Artemis nodded and looked through, finding it. 

"Got it." Barbara took it from her hands and put the earphones in Dick's ears. He relaxed further when he heard it. He was so glad he and Barbara made this the first time an attack happened. He continued with copying her breathing, his breath becoming ragged as he became exhausted. His adrenaline high was coming down. "Is he going to be okay?" Artemis asked.

"Yeah just give him a minute. He gonna crash any second now."

And crash Dick did. His breath was even now, picking up every so often when he hiccuped through his tears. Barbara helped him up and onto the benches. She sat with him and held him close as the attack slowly disappeared. He pulled out the earphones when he was ready and gave the girls a watery smile. "Sorry about that," he said, a little embarrassed about how far he'd gone.

"No need. Do you know what set it off?" Artemis asked, sitting beside him. He shrugged.

"Just bad thoughts," he answered vaguely. To be honest, he couldn't really remember what exactly triggered it. He was too tired to think that far back. 

"You wanna talk about it?" He shook his head. 

"Don't wanna set off another one." They nodded in understanding.

"Should we call Bruce to pick you up? He wouldn't mind," Barbara suggested. He again shook his head. 

"No no, he'll just get worried over nothing. I'm fine now, honest."

"You look dead on your feet," Artemis deadpanned.

"Good thing I'm sitting down." She rolled her eyes with a smirk and stood up, holding out her hand for him to take. 

"C'mon, you martyr. Let's get you to the office." He sighed. He guessed he could do with a nap in his own bed and this was technically his last lesson of today. This was probably for the better. He took her hand and got up. "Fine but you two better not have too much fun without me." The ginger laughed.

"We could never have that much fun when you're not around."

Dick fell asleep in the limo with Bruce running a hand through his hair. This was his free day. He'd planned for Dick to play hooky so the pair could spend some time together outside of work but Dick had been insistent on going in. He wished he'd just stayed. At least now they could have a little time together even if Dick was fast asleep for most of it.

I'm internally screaming and feel incredibly stressed but can't properly express it so I'm sensing a fun little mental breakdown soon which has been pretty much my entire Christmas break ahahah I'm not depressed everything is fine