Hello everyone, I just want to thank God and all of you for all the love you have given to my story so far :). It is unbelievable that this story has reached over 22K reads :). I never imagined this would have been possible and it wouldn't have been possible if it wasn't for God and all you readers who read this story and spread the word about it. I want to thank God and all of you from the bottom of my heart :).

*WARNING/AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have tried to make the last scene very classy and not explicit to my best of knowledge. A few kissing scenes are in the last scene, but I have tried my best to be appropriate because I personally do not like to write explicit scenes and I really believe in writing appropriate scenes.I worked hard to keep the scene very clean, but if you do not like the scene, I would be glad to further cut the scene.

I have written two new chapters, so please do read Chapter 16 before reading this chapter, which is Chapter 17. I am emphasizing Chapter 17 because the last scene may be a dramatic twist in the story, so please do not miss it :) These two chapters will reveal some answers to secrets :)

Moreover, the last scene in Chapter 17 may be hated or loved...I am definitely nervous about your reactions. You may have a lot of questions regarding it, but believe me Anika and Shivaay were in their characters and what happened was for a reason. I deeply apologize if you didn't like this plot line. So, I am hoping for the best right now :)

Please feel free to give positive and negative feedback as I feel this update of two chapters will bring in a wide range of opinions. I apologize in advance if I may have screwed up the plot line.

Also, please do read the first chapter of my new Shivika story: The Bond of Love and Hate. I really want to know if I should continue this new Shivika story. Thank you :)

URL Link for my new Shivika story: https://www.wattpad.com/story/197894144-the-bond-of-love-and-hate-shivika

If you wish, please do follow me on Twitter as my username is JasmineDarcie

Thank you for reading and if you wish please do upvote and give feedback :) Also, please let me know if you have liked the songs I chose so far in this update because I am not sure if you like the songs or not. The songs add more emotions and feelings to the scenes, so if possible and if you wish, please do listen to the songs while reading the scenes :).

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Anika's Point of View

https://youtu.be/uCiRLek1aqs

I took a deep breath as I smelled the beautiful sea breeze and attempted to find peace which I couldn't. It didn't come. Not once. I heard a tinge of loud laughter and music as I looked back realizing there was a small open bar a few feet away. Digging my feet into the sand, I began to drag my feet through the sand as I made my way towards the bar. My hair beginning to fly against my face as I pushed them aside. My shawl begging to go with the wind as I held it hard against my chest and made my way towards the bar.

It had been years since I drank alcohol...last time I did...was when he left me. I remember for the first time picking up that glass of alcohol and thinking if it would erase the awful memories I had...Somehow it worked and I remember drowning myself in it for a couple of days as I wanted to poison the memories I shared with him. Indeed, today was one of those days that I wanted to poison those same memories I had buried many years ago, but were coming back.

I ran my hand through my hair as I heard my phone beginning to ring. My eyes looking down towards it as I realized it was Mom. I sighed as I rolled my eyes and picked up the call.

"Hello..." I spoke as I walked a bit further from the noisy bar towards the sea.

"Anika where are? It's eleven at night and the carnival likely ended by now, so where are you?" Mom exclaimed as she then moved forward and went on a tirade of complaints and lectures.

"Mom...please just clam down...Um...I cannot come home tonight...I mean I will be late..." I fumbled as I tried to think of an excuse.

All I knew was that I wanted to be alone at the moment. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and for once be allowed to cry and devour in my feelings of sorrow that I had been burying for years. Today was too much of an emotional turmoil and for once I just wanted to be alone and clear out my mind.

"What do you mean?" She questioned curiously as I slightly coughed and decided to think of something quick.

"Um...the hospital needed me for an emergency. So, I am going to the hospital and I don't know when I will come home..." I bit my lip nervously as I hope for Mom to buy the excuse.

"You have a broken rib! How can they just call you for work?!" Mom exclaimed on the phone as I held it slightly out from my ear.

"Um...well...the hospital had given me leave, but I told them that just in case an emergency comes, they are free to call me in because the hospital get's pretty busy and has been understaffed recently as a couple of doctors retired, so...they called me and I am fine. The pain in the rib has subsided a little bit..." I took a deep breath as I tried to appear calm and not give any hint to her that I was lying.

"Fine...but just go this time and then tell them you cannot come until you recover ok?" Mom said as I faintly smiled.

I cannot believe Mom bought my lie. I mean I am pretty sure anyone would have not have believed me as what hospital would allow a doctor to work while having a small injury? But, it's all fine with me as long as Mom buys the lie.

"Ok I promise. Now I have to go. Ok?" I said and I quickly hung up the phone, throwing it into my purse as I rolled my eyes.

I somewhat felt different. I should be feeling anxiety, worry, and sadness from everything that has happened, but I feel fearless seen in what I am doing right now which is lying to my mom and making plans to drink alcohol. This is not me. But, then why tonight, do I feel the need to let go of my worries and drown away my worries and sadness in alcohol which is pure poison for me...I am doctor and I should know the implications of drinking alcohol and how it should not be utilized as a means to counteract anxiety and sadness, but then why is that I am going against my own knowledge and values? Have I a reached a point of sadness and misery that I don't care anymore regarding the consequences of my actions? Perhaps...I am not sure, but all I know at this moment is that I want to forget every single memory that I had formed with that man and I want to forget about how that man told me to move on, but took every step needed to ruin my night and prevent me from moving on...I took a deep breath as I broke the thought and made my way towards the open bar...ready to let go...forget him and forget his deceit and his revenge that he took from me...I remember the exact day when things took a turn for worse and he planted his plan for revenge...

Flashback:

https://youtu.be/2IGDsD-dLF8

I smiled as I fixed the loose curls falling out from French braid bun. I looked back at my champagne colored, silky dress as it flowed down to my knees. I lightly placed pink lip gloss on my lips as I looked back at my reflection and proudly smiled.

I took a deep breath as I bit my lip lightly as I remembered how Shivaay had decided to invite me and introduce me to his employees at his company. I felt kind of proud that he had taken the initiative to introduce me to everyone and, perhaps, it was indicative of a big step moving forward.

It had been about five months since we had been dating each other. Our affair a secret as Shivaay was a professor at my medical school and I was a student. We were breaking rules every day in his office where he showered love upon me and I accepted. It was wrong on so many levels, but his love was something I had never gotten in life, so that thirst I had was quenched by his love and care for me.

Indeed, as time has passed, I have found myself entangling in his love furthermore as I found myself only thinking about him all day, wishing to have him by my side each and every day, and finding myself being vulnerable to him and his love. I have never fallen in love before and, perhaps, this may be the first time I might just be falling in love with him...I shyly smiled as I opened my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of him holding me tightly against his chest as he embraced me during a stop in the mountains on a long drive we took.

Shivaay...what are you doing to me? I thought as I laid my head against the back of my car seat slightly day dreaming as I thought of our moments together. Why have you made it so easy for me to fall in love with you and gain access to your heart? People say love isn't easy then why has been fate been so good to me and just placed love in my lap without me asking for it? I smiled as I grabbed my clutch and got out of the car.

My heels lightly tapping against the cement as I made my way through the parking garage. I quickly made my way towards the elevator and up to the top floor where the office was. The elevator certainly crowded with employees and their families who were eager to let go for the night and enjoy the office party. I felt slightly claustrophobic considering I do have a fear of elevators, but some how I survived and took a deep breath as I made my way out to the floor.

I had an unusual happy smile on my face as I made my way down the hallway and made a turn towards the main office. I decided to skip ahead from the large conference room where the party was and first meet Shivaay who likely was in his office.

"Um...I am here to meet Shivaay...um...Mr. Oberoi," I said to the receptionist as she recognized me considering I had made a few regular visits to the Shivaay in the past few days.

"Sure, he's free in his office," She said as I thanked her before I walked towards the large glass doors as I knocked on them lightly.

"Come in!" He spoke as I opened the door to sneak a peek as I saw him leaning against his desk as he held a file in his hand.

"And Mr. Oberoi is still busy doing work on the day of an office party!" I said crossing my arms as I walked up to him.

A playful smile appeared on his face as he grabbed my arm pulling me right against his chest as I giggled and laid my head on his shoulder. I shook my head as he stole a kiss from my cheek before running his hand up and down my back. My cheeks heating up under his flirtous gaze as I avoided eye contact and grabbed a hold of his file.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Shivaay said a bit annoyed as I shook my head and threw the file on his desk before crossing my arms at him as he kept his hands on my waist.

"No more work ok Mr. Oberoi?" I said tauntingly as I knew how much he got annoyed when I called him "Mr. Oberoi". He grabbed the back of my head and placed the temple of my head against his.

"Don't me call that beautiful..."He whispered as I smiled and placed my hands on his cheeks.

"I will try not to, but only when you stop being such a workaholic," I noted as he smiled and brushed his lips against mines' as a small shiver went down my spine.

"I will try. But, anyways, you look beautiful today...I guess this color of dress I chose for you was perfect...but more than that...your eyes are being the most hypnotizing Anika...You look beautiful every day and even if you were dressed in your normal clothes or anything worse, you would still be a star fallen from above to only be mines'...It's your heart that makes you beautiful..."He whispered as his words tempted to melt my heart as he strung its chords.

Why does he make me feel so loved and so wanted? A feeling that I have never experienced by anyone, but him. How can someone be so perfect? I thought as I grabbed his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. He chuckled as he ran his lips against mines' as he sucked on my strawberry lip gloss trying to get a taste of the natural bare tones of my lips. I giggled in between kisses as he picked up pace and continued to mold his lips with mines'.

"We should save some for later for after the party..." I softly spoke as he shook his head and pulled me into an embrace.

"We should get going...According to the time, the party started fifteen minutes ago and you are supposed to begin the party with a toast, so...let's go..."I said placing my hands on his lips as he smiled and entwined his hands in mines'.

"I don't want to. I want to be here with you Anika," He said as I rolled my eyes and bumped my head against his temple in annoyance as he chuckled and kissed my hand.

"Me too, but this is also important. So, let's go and celebrate the contract you bagged alright?" I said as he leaned away from his desk and fixed his gray collared shirt as he put on a black blazer.

"Today eyes are not going to be on me, but only you. I mean look at you," He said as he pulled his arm up and twirled me around as I laughed and leaned my body against his.

These small moments of giggling, laughing, and being playful were the ones that deepened my attraction for him and deepened an unsaid love I had for him. I love how he makes me laugh and makes me forget about my struggles in medical school or my complicated relationship with my parents. No matter how sad or awful I might feel, it always goes away the moment I encounter him...It's so unusual to meet the perfect soulmate, but I guess I was lucky in this part of life. I haven't yet confessed to him the big three words...I love you...but my intent is to confess it sooner than later. It's just I want the right moment to confess and I haven't found one yet.

Shivaay held my hand tightly in his as we walked down the hallway towards the conference room. I giggled as I leaned my head against his shoulder as he pecked my forehead. As my eyes stood locked in his, I felt a sudden bump against my shoulder as something cold fell right on the top part of my dress. I suddenly took a step back from the sudden introduction of cold ice on my dress.

"Oh I am so sorry ma'am!" The waitress exclaimed as she looked at my dress that seemingly got wet. I smiled and shook my head as I looked at my dress.

"It's fine. Actually I wasn't looking, so it's my fault and I am sorry for spilling the ice," I noted as she smiled and grabbed the empty ice bucket.

"You should have been more careful!" Shivaay argued with the waitress as I held his hand and threw him a glare.

"Please don't Shivaay. It's not her fault ok?" I said as I noticed the waitress grabbing a broom and quickly collecting the ice cubes on the floor.

"Here I will help you," I said as she shook her head.

"It's ok ma'am. This is under control. Please go and clean up as your dress will get ruined," She argued as I heled my hand out and grabbed the brush as I began to collect the ice cubes in a dust pan. I noticed Shivaay's eyes widen as he seemed a bit taken aback from my action.

I had seen my parents struggle in such minimum wage jobs and I know exactly how one is ill treated and faces disrespect in such jobs. I could tell by the waitress' face that she was afraid I would complain to her manager and she definitely looked tired from a long day of work. Plus, it was my fault and I should clean up the mess I made.

I finished up picking up the ice cubes as the waitress smiled and thanked me before walking away. I smiled and looked back at Shivaay who seemed a bit astonished from me. I rolled my eyes and nudged his shoulder.

"What?" I questioned curiously as he shook his head and dropped the thought.

"What are you Anika? Someone just ruined such a beautiful dress and you didn't say nothing. Instead you helped them without any complaint...I mean who does that. I won't lie, but I have dated quite a bit of women and none of them have ever reacted in such manner. In fact, they've always cursed at others who were seemingly 'beneath them' and not once respected them or admitted their mistake...Who are you?" He spoke as he seemed puzzled and appeared to piece his vision and perception of me. I smiled and lowered my eyes as I clasped my hands together.

"It's just when you see a lot of struggles and hardships in life, Shivaay...you gain a new perspective on life and learn to respect others, especially those who are often ignored by society...My family and I are one of them...So I know how it feels...I guess you just overstepped your class boundaries for the first time, so everything seems different to you..." I whispered as Shivaay bit his lip and avoided my gaze as he appeared to contemplate on a thought.

"Um...well it's the best decision I ever made Anika..." He spoke as I smiled as he kissed my cheek.

"How about you go clean up and I will start the toast that is already late ok?" Shivaay said as I shook my head as he headed off to the conference room.

I quickly made my way to the women's restroom down the hallway as I made my way to it. I looked at the plunging neckline of my dress and realized how I had destroyed it with ice cubes. I giggled at my stupidity as I rolled my eyes and grabbed a paper towel. Only this can happen to me considering how clumsy I am. I am considerably used to spilling food or drinks on my clothes, so this is not new.

I dabbed the paper towel on the dress to dry it as I kneeled down in front of a hand dryer in the bathroom to dry my dress. After much hard work and rubbing of my fingers on my dress, I finally was able to somewhat dry it. Well what is done is done and I shouldn't ruin the fun tonight by crying over my dress. I fixed my hair as I looked back at the bathroom mirror before walking towards the door.

https://youtu.be/at9gJjwXrTM

"I cannot believe Anika fell for it. Wow...I must say our bro does have guts," A voice spoke. My eyes widened as I stopped myself from opening the bathroom door as I peaked through the gap between the door and the wall as I looked at two familiar men standing across from the bathroom door.

"But, Atul...He played his cards so right...well she fairly deserved it considering how she insulted him that day in the café in front of everyone and led him to lose funding for his research project. She deserved it believe it or not."

I felt the ground beneath me slowly slipping away as I felt my head spinning. I grabbed hold of the handle of the door as I tried to balance myself and understand what I exactly heard. Played his cards?...I deserved it for an insult...What are they talking about? No, this cannot be true. Shivaay cannot just lie to me and fool me...He's not like those men. No, he can't be.

"Look, Ayush... Shivaay just gave Anika a taste of her medicine. He is fooling her in a stupid love trap because he wants to break that pride and ego of hers. She dared to insult an Oberoi and sabotage him, so how is it he won't get even with her. Plus, there's the bet between us that is the motivator..."

My eyes widened as my palms began to sweat with my heart beginning to pound against my chest. Reality shaking me and destroying the fort of love I had built for my first and only lover. He made a bet to destroy me because of an insult he faced in public. That wasn't my fault. He instigated me and Oh my God. For such an issue, Shivaay took on the ordeal of pursuing me with an intent to break my pride...He was fooling me.

So, the moment and words Shivaay shared with me and made me feel loved with them were all a lie. It all was a lie? No...he cannot do this to me...He cannot break my love and shred it into pieces. How dare he do this to me? Who is he to treat me in this way? How dare he?

"Guess what? He's going to break up with her tonight in front of everyone at the party. Now isn't that good stuff to see," Atul said cracking up as he high fived Ayush.

I stood still as I heard the words. Shivaay invited me here tonight to only break my heart. He stole my first kiss, my first love, and my soul to find pleasure in hurting me and breaking my heart. He poured compliments upon me to build my trust in love to only break it apart. He took the unstrung chords of my heart and piece by piece ripped them apart to lift my trust off of love.

I slammed the bathroom door shut as I felt tears slowly burning through my eyes and making their way down my cheeks. I placed my hand on my mouth as I screamed into it as I began to feel each and every touch of his that he had laid on my body. A touch full of deceit...A repulsive touch that I fully accepted and made mines' because I thought it belonged to the man who fate had thought of as my soulmate. I felt myself slipping down the door as I held onto the handle to maintain minimal strength I had remaining.

Why would a man who has all the money in the world and could get anything he wants within seconds would find interest in me? A girl who is working class and saw life full of hardships and limited money. I thought I was living a stupid fairytale, but in reality it was a wicked plan that attempted to entangle me. Why would he love me? I mean look at me. I am not beautiful nor have the money to attract a rich man like him. I have so many weaknesses and why would a man want to be someone like me...I paused the thought as I wiped my tears away and laid my head against the door.

Don't put yourself down right now Anika. In this world, everyone comes alone and they have to fight for themselves, so go and fight before you go home and lay tears on your pillow. I wiped my tears away as I clenched my teeth as I slammed open the door and held my clutch tightly in my hand.

Ayush and Atul looking startled as they took in my vision. My mascara drying up on my cheeks as anger pumped through my body and was evident across my face. My eyes furrowed and lips tightened as I threw them a glare. I slammed my heels loudly against the wooden floor as I took large steps towards the conference room.

Nobody messes with Anika and get's away. I placed a wicked smile on my face as I slammed open the conference room door only to hear the dark voice speaking loudly on the microphone. My seemingly dramatic entry catching attention as I noticed employees looking towards me as the door slammed behind me. Their eyes catching the evident anger I held as my hands shook violently in anger and stress that had caught up to me.

"And here's my beautiful girlfriend Anika about whom I was just talking about. Her love and support contributed heavily to this contract's success," Shivaay announced as he stood in front of the conference room with a wide, malicious smile on his face.

I clenched my fists tightly as I slapped my clutch against my leg in anger. If I am going down then you are going down with me.

"How the hell dare you?!" I yelled as the bottle of anger popped as his voice stopped midair. His mouth widening as he looked a bit shocked and taken aback with my sudden change in demeanor.

"Anika, stop speaking right this minute!" He ordered as I could tell his was beginning to clench his jaw and tighten his hands into fists. He was ready to leap at me in any moment.

I pushed my way through the employees as I made my way towards him right a step away. I threw my head up in the air as I bit my lip trying to hold back tears. Be brave Anika. Do not let this man treat you like dirt.

"Don't you dare Anika," He hissed.

My eyes stood still as I noticed his eyes darken as his true colors began to appear across his face. I could tell he somewhat was beginning to understand why I was angry. His face inciting more anger inside of me as I realized how this face fooled me, lured me, and trapped me in a phony love that wasn't real at any point of time. He used me to satisfy his ego and how dare he.

The anger began to boil and without a thought my hand went up in the air ready to reach his cheek before he held it tightly up in the air. I clenched my jaw before pulling my hand away from his grip.

"How dare you place a bet on winning me and taking revenge from me?! How dare you?!...You really were going to fool me! Huh...you pretended to love me to only break my heart. Hmm? I cannot believe you would stoop so low!" I screamed as I pushed him away lightly as I looked back at the bottles of champagne. My hands slamming across the bottles and I threw them down on the floor.

Shivaay looking a bit shocked as he clearly did not know what words to come up with. He took a sudden step away from me as I took a step towards him. I knew I looked out of my mind in the moment as tears began streaming down my cheeks as my breaths began to get shallow. My face clearly getting warmer and resembling a monster as I fumed.

"Look everyone. Look at your boss. He seems perfect and admirable, but guess what he isn't? He used me. He placed dirt on my pure soul and dared to touch it with deceit. He was my first love and he knew it, but he decided it would be fun to play with me, fool me, and then break up with me in front of everyone and you know where...tonight! At this damn party, he was going to break up with me and embarrass me in front of everyone. This man is not who he is and you all should watch out from this man! Because...he might just fool you! He's shrewd and crooked!" I screamed as Shivaay grabbed my arm tightly pulling me towards him.

His eyes meeting mines' as I noticed they were beginning to throb and match their pulse with the anger that quickly building up in him. I shook my head and struggled to release my arm from his grip.

"Why Shivaay? Why did you do this? You decided to take revenge from me for an insult and loss of funding...Huh?...I mean that was both of our fault...not purely mines'. How could you just lure me for months with such deceit? I was so vulnerable to you and you decided to treat me in this way...Hm? I...I loved you...and I feel so disgusted. God, why did I believe you? I mean why?" I began to weep as the grip of his hand loosened on my arm as I pulled my arm away.

"Anika...how dare you ruin me and tarnish my name in front of everyone? How dare you?! Who the hell do you think you are?!" He screamed as I bit my lip in anger and pushed him away.

"Oh I turned the tables on you and look you deserve this insult Mr. Oberoi! You deserve it so bad and I am glad fate was good to me that your true face was revealed! I will never trust you again. I will never love you again!" I yelled as I gave her a tearful smile.

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me closer towards him as I moved my face away in disgust.

"I will destroy you for what you have done today," He hissed as I looked up matching him eye to eye. His eyes lighting up on fire and ready to destroy me. But, I wasn't scared. I shouldn't be considering I already lost everything I had.

"Then destroy me. I don't give a damn," I said as I pushed him away and walked away out the door.

That day should have marked the end for our relationship. End of a five month long relationship that was based on an artifact called love. I should have called everything off. I should have, but I didn't. Instead, I was lured back to him and this time I married him. That is another story to be told later.

End of Flashback

Shivaay's Point of View

My eyes stood still at the sea in front of me as I could only think of her...only her...and us...the moment we shared when we were in love...Well when I thought I wasn't in love with her and she was in love with me. But, I was wrong. This realization of love did not come from nowhere, but came from all the moments I shared with her...intimate, passionate, and compassionate. I remember exactly how I struggled in those moments and attempted to convince myself that all of it was a lie and that the moments were meant to build upon, so I could break her once I divorce her...oh how wrong was I...If only I could something and ask for forgiveness...

"Shivaay...it's getting late and we should go home now..."Om spoke as I looked back at him and confronted the look of disappointment he had on his face. He is correct to be disappointed and I am proud of the fact he is because at least he has humanity which I never had...If I had humanity then I wouldn't have hurt Anika...I wouldn't have dared to build such a strong bond with her only on basis of revenge with an intent to divorce her...

I shook my head as I looked out towards the ocean. Somehow and somewhere my soul doesn't want to leave this place and go home. Somewhere my mind is telling me to stay and I don't know why, but I am convinced to stay back. It will be better to stay alone for a while with my thoughts and gather them and figure a way to redeem myself in my eyes and Anika's eyes...

"Om, you go and be with Gauri. I mean you already abandoned her and let her go home alone with the kids. I want to stay back tonight. I just feel the need to and I think it would be the best to clear out my mind."

Om sighed as he seemed unconvinced as I rolled my eyes and pushed him lightly.

"Go and don't worry, I will be fine ok? Now go ok? Gauri must be worried for you and you should go home ok?" I argued as Om relented and patted my shoulder.

"Take care and no getting in trouble tonight ok?" Om said slightly smiling as I side eyed him in annoyance as he shook his head and walked away.

I slightly laughed at his comment as I looked out at sea. What trouble would I get in tonight? I highly doubt it...I shook the thought away as I crossed my arms and soaked in the cold water that seeped through my feet and reached my ankles. If only the peace and calmness that this ocean of magic brings to my soul can be brought to Anika and my relationship...if only fate could plot a tinge of magic and change our relationship forever...

Anika's Point of View

I laid my head against the glass table as I looked out towards the empty ocean and the blanket of stars that were beginning to pop out from the cloudy, dark skies above me. Tapping my fingers lightly against the glass, I tried to keep calm as I felt a cloud of turmoil beginning to shred into pieces and beg to be freed.

The smell of alcohol lightly made its way out of my mouth as I soaked it in and closed my eyes to find peace and relief from my worries, but couldn't. The alcohol didn't work at all. Perhaps, because I barely had a glass of it and could clearly comprehend my surroundings and my thoughts...I highly, doubt more would help me because I know it wouldn't. Placing my hair to my side, I looked out the beautiful night and attempted to search for small pieces of happiness, but couldn't as I had no one to share this night with...But, if I did...what would I do? Would I completely lose myself and be their's for a small moment of time? I shut the thought as I took a sip of red wine from the glass.

I don't drink alcohol. Oh what a lie that was. True, I don't drink alcohol and I am against it, but somehow I find myself breaking my core values tonight as the blanket of sorrow covers them and bars them from reaching me and initiating thoughts in my mind regarding how wrong I was.

Sometimes I wonder why fate has been so unjust to me. Always guiding me down the wrong paths and leading me to regretful mistakes. I wonder what purpose fate served to introduce me to him. Why did fate bring him to my life only to allow him to lift my trust off of love and break my selfless love for him? What was the purpose of him coming into my life? This is the question to which I have been looking for answer to for years yet I cannot pinpoint nor figure out an answer to it.

Flashback:

https://youtu.be/8ofCZObsnOo

He wrapped his arm around me tightly as I smiled and looked back at him, entwining my hand into his as we walked a step further down the rocks towards the ocean waves that slowly crept and touched our feet. The ocean breeze cooling our skins that stuck close to one another. The small locks of hair flying out of my messy bun as I pulled them back to get a clearer view of the bright, teal colored ocean that stood before us. The wind lightly brushing past the silky baby blue dress I wore as it clashed with the teal color of the ocean.

I felt his hand slowly wrapping around my waist as his breath lightly tickling the side of my ear. I giggled in response and pushed him away lightly as I ran down the small step of black rocks and came closer to the ocean without any fears from it as I knew Shivaay was right behind me to protect me.

I slightly smiled as I spread my arms apart as suddenly I felt a pair of large arms wrap around my waist as I yelped with my feet kicking up in the air. I laughed as he laughed and twirled me around in the air as I held on to his arms tightly.

"Shivaay stop!" I screamed as he twirled me before stopping and letting me catch a breath.

I giggled as I looked back and placed my hands on his chest. Shivaay slightly smiled as he fixed his sunglasses and placed his hand on top of mines'. My hand seeping through the cotton white shirt as I felt his pulse underneath it. His eyes stood shamelessly upon me as I saw his eyes keenly taking in the small details of the features of my face. My cheeks beginning to burn and form shapes of two large rose petals as I looked down shyly.

His finger touched the tip of my chin as he pulled it up and looked into my eyes. He smiled as he placed his hand on the side of my cheek and brought his lips to the top of my forehead.His lips brushing lightly against my forehead as I shivered under his and clenched on to his shirt. I laid my head against his chest as I found comfort in it.

It was my first date with him since our encounter at his office on Christmas Eve. I finally had come in terms with the fact that I had an attraction for him and a deep desire to pursue it. For the first time, I decided to break the rules and follow my heart and so I did the moment he asked me out on a date.

"Your beauty is the like the ocean Anika...Never ending and lasting for an eternity. Just like the way one desires to keep looking at the ocean in a never ending way...that is the way I desire to keep looking at you. It's not the physical beauty Anika, but the internal beauty of yours' that has charmed me..." Shivaay stopped mid-sentence as he placed his hands on my cheeks.

His words clearly mesmerizing me and slowly unraveling the threads of barriers I held around me. His words forcing me to desire to hear more and listen to petals of compliments he dropped upon me. What good deeds did I do to get a man like him? I thought as I smiled and placed my hands on top of his.

"Anika...why is it that I feel comfort and peace in your presence only?...Why does it feel so right to be here with you and no one else? No woman has made me feel the way you did...it sounds cliché, but really, why do I only get relieved from my worries and sadness when I only see you? Anika...you are making me fall harder for you..."

My eyes widened as I heard the last few words slip out of his mouth. He too appeared to be caught off guard as he appeared to purse his lips together tightly as his eyes stood still upon me. Falling for me?...As in love?...I stopped at the thought as I realized the deeper connection him and I had been building which formed love...were those small moments building towards the underlying currents of love that is present between us at the moment?

I waited for him to say more, but it appeared he couldn't as he pulled me closer towards him. I slightly smiled as I wrapped my arms around him as he placed his hands around my waist. I giggled as I placed my feet on top of his as he began to take small steps on the rocks. A large ocean waves making it way towards us and suddenly spraying us with water as I screamed in delight and hugged him tightly.

Shivaay laughed and held me tightly as I held on to him tightly.

"Shivaay! No stop!" I screamed as he picked me up and attempted to dip me into the seemingly calm water as I hit his shoulder lightly.

He laughed as he picked me up in the air as I held on to him tightly.

"Are you falling for me Anika?" He questioned suddenly out of the blue as my eyes widened as I looked taken aback from his sudden question. My eyes lowering towards him and encountering his innocent eyes that twinkled in the sunshine that fell upon us.

Falling for him? Falling in the sense that I find only peace and happiness in his presence? Falling in the sense that I am finding myself becoming charmed by his innocent words? Falling for his generous heart? If I close my eyes and try to find answers to such questions then all of them would be yes. Yes, I am falling for his innocence, his charm, and his generous heart.

"Yes...I am falling for you..." I spoke softly as I nestled my face into his shoulder as he smiled and nuzzled his nose in my shoulder as he began to spin me around as the ocean waves crashed.

My heart beginning to beat faster as each beat signified the thread of love that were beginning to form. The beats capturing the vision of him and being charmed by him. I felt an emotion that was unfamiliar, but one that was filled with care, passion, and compassion for the man in front of me. Indeed, in that moment, I began to fall in love with him.

"At least say something more...I have poured the vessels of my heart out for you and you just said yes..." Shivaay said smiling as I blushed and looked away out towards the crashing waves as grabbed a hold of his hand tightly and pulled him closer to me.

"For the first time in my life...someone has poured love on a desert like heart of mines'.It a feeling that is unfamiliar. A touch that has never been felt before. I don't even know what to say Shivaay...my heart has never experienced such vessels of love and it feels heavy from the immense care, compassion, and love it has begun to receive and have its thirst for love quenched after so many years...All I can say is that my heart wants to keep experiencing the rain of love that you have poured upon it and it only wants to keep you and only you in its treasure chest. This heart wants to only give you the key to it and wants to only experience your love..." I paused as I noticed his expression soften as a cloud of darkness appeared to move away from his eyes as they twinkled and looked into my eyes. His smile softening as I noticed him tightening his grip on my hand and placing it against his chest right where his heart was.

"You...is...um...is this your first time falling in love?...Am I the first one your heart has opened up to?" He questioned as I raised my eyebrow in curiousity a bit taken aback by his sudden question.

"Um...I had occasional crushes and mere attractions, but...I never dared to open up my heart o anyone or hold their hand...You're my first in everything..." I stopped as I looked down a bit shy as I heard him take a deep breath as he grabbed my waist and pulled me to the side of him as I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder and looked out to the sea.

"I want to pause this day and just have it on repeat with only you Anika...is it wrong of me to feel this way for you?...I don't know, but all I know right now is that I only want you and desire to only be with you..." Shivaay whispered against my ear as I smiled and looked up at him. He smiled and lightly kissed my forehead.

"Not only this moment, but many moments will only be ours' Shivaay...only yours' and mines'..." I said smiling as he wrapped his arms around me as we both looked out at the sea in silence.

The waves crashed and calmed down before rising up again...If only I knew at that moment that the waves were signaling my uncertain future ahead where I would experience moments of calmness and love before having them erased and overcome by crashing waves that dared to steal everything away from me and break my heart.

Flashback Ends:

https://youtu.be/NBxnD5dEQAA

I loved you so much Shivaay, then why did you hurt me so much? Why did you break me? Why is it that you didn't feel anything after you broke me and destroyed me? I mean you must have some humanity right? I sighed as I shook my head and pulled my legs up to me on the chair as I looked out towards the crashing waves.

I took a deep breath as I drank the last remnants of wine and slammed it on the table in front of me. Tears streaming down my cheeks as they dared to not stop and I didn't dare to stop them. There was no point of holding them in. I have held in these tears for a long time and I deserve to cry and dwell into my sadness for once. I am tired of hiding my sadness and pain behind a mask in front of my family and friends. I have a right to cry for once and I will.

"Anika..." My eyes widened as I realized the voice was a familiar deep voice that my ears had encountered many times. I swiftly looked up to realize it was him...Shivaay...There he stood tall and proud in front of me. He was the darkness who always came to hide my light. He was always there in my darkest moments and the moments I cursed him...

"Go away..." I mumbled as I looked to the other side to avoid making any eye contact with him.

I didn't want to see his face at the moment considering what he did. I was finally feeling happy and somewhat alive today before he came in and ruined everything. I don't want to see his face or even listen to the sound of his voice. It repulsed me.

"Are you drinking?" He said with a tone of shock in his voice as I rolled my eyes and kept my silence as I ran my finger on the tips of my wine glass.

"Anika, what is wrong with you?!" He exclaimed as he grabbed my arm pulling me up towards him.

My body slamming against his chest as he pulled me closer towards him. Our bodies stood close to one another. My arm pressed against his chest as he held it tightly in his grasp. Our breaths lightly merging with one another and out for a hunt. His face seemingly close to mines' as I attempted to keep my distance. His breath blowing off the smell of alcohol as his body seemed to have been overcome with an unusual anger of sorts. I looked up at his bloodshot eyes as he seemingly clenched his jaw. Who is he to show such anger towards me? Who is he to question me? He has no right to and I won't allow him.

"How dare you have the audacity to question my actions? You don't have any right to, so just back off will you?!" I exclaimed as I pushed him away lightly. I waved my hand off at him as I fixed my hair and grabbed my purse in hand.

"Also, you're drunk. I am minimally drunk actually. I can speak clearly and think clearly. So, don't you dare tell me what to do or question me ok? This is my life and I will decide what I will do with it ok? You have already intervened enough in my life ok?" I argued as I put my hand out for him to maintain a distance.

Shivaay furrowed his eyebrows as he threw me a glare before I hit my shoulder against his before walking away.

At this moment, I don't need him and it would be best that I don't indulge in any conversation with him. It would be the best for me not to. Most importantly, he shouldn't deserve my attention and I shouldn't give him any.

I looked out towards a group of large white tents outside on the beach as I raised my eyebrow in curiosity. I looked back at the emptying bar and the bar attendant who was beginning to clean up the bar.

"Um...excuse me..." I said a bit loudly as I walked up to him.

"Yes miss," He said looking up at me and eyeing my face which clearly looked hideous from the smeared mascara and lipstick on my face. I looked at him awkwardly before wiping away a few tears.

"What are the purpose of those tents? Are they a form of lodging here?" I questioned him curiously as he looked back at the large cluster of white colored tents that were spaced out amongst each other.

"Yep. The city recently allowed the bar to do this. A better idea than allowing a bunch of drunks driving on the streets and putting their lives and others' lives at risk as well. Do you want one?" He asked as I looked back at the tents.

I mean I am slightly drunk and I lied to my mom that I will be at the hospital all night. I clearly don't want to sleep in my car which is uncomfortable. It's better I stay back and get the tent. Still uncomfortable, but a better option. I thought as I smiled and shook my head at him.

He smiled and quickly got my name and contact as I handed him fifty bucks. I rolled my eyes as I made my way towards the vacant tent at the farther side of the beach where it stood a bit isolated and spaced from the other tents that were farther away.

I fixed my red kurta as I walked in silence towards the tent. My feet dragging their way through the sand as I held the pair of flats in my hands. I looked out towards the waves that were calming down and making their way back and forth. My legs seemingly tired as I barely made it to my tent and immediately collapsed in front of it as I grabbed a seat and sat in silence.

I digged my fingers into the sand as I tried to calm my nerves and take in the vision of the ocean in front of me. I slightly smiled as I looked up at the full moon that began to appear through the clouds and make its appearance more visible.

Why is it that Shivaay is everywhere I go? Anywhere I go, somehow fate brings him there and leads to an encounter. It shouldn't be that way. If fate has already made a decision to keep us apart then why is it that it always brings moments where we encounter one another? These are the questions I want to ask fate, but I cannot.

https://youtu.be/m8mrSfJO9aA

"Don't do this Anika..."

I looked up to realize it was Shivaay standing right above me as he looked down upon me. I felt a tear sliding down my cheek as my lips quivered in an attempt to hold back more tears. I pulled my knees up to me to build up barriers and not show vulnerability to him.

"Please, don't destroy yourself," He softly spoke as he knelt down next to me.

I shook my head as I looked away, placing my hands on my cheeks trying to stop the tears that began to flow down my cheeks. I tried to calm down as I hiccupped and formed shallow breaths.

"You already...destroyed me...What is there else left to destroy Shivaay? Hm? You already destroyed my hopes, dreams, and love...you destroyed the trust I had in the emotions and power of love because I have realized...love isn't real. It is a mere artifact of an emotion that human beings believe they have or feel, but it doesn't exist..." My voice barely breaking through as I wiped my tears as pieces of sand fell upon my already dusted red kurta.

"No, Anika...please don't say that..." He voice broke through as he suddenly grabbed my hand holding it in his. Goosebumps making their way under his cold touch. Our hands seemingly fitting perfectly with each others as his fingers forced their way into the gaps of my fingers and entwined with them.

A foggy puzzle began to appear in my mind as his statement further entangled me amongst a confused and puzzled mind I already had regarding Shivaay and I. What is our relationship? Are we divorced in the sense we are ex-lovers and have no feelings for each other left? Or are we still lovers who refuse to listen to the rhythms and beats of the love that we share for one another? Who are we? What are we? What is our love? Is our love dead or alive?

My eyes stood still as I looked into his icy cold blue eyes that held a tinge of gray and a hint of darkness. My mind attempting to read his eyes as if they were gateways to his thoughts, but failing as he shielded them away from me.

"Anika...don't insult the love you had for me...You were pure and so was your love. It's just you loved the wrong man...a man who can never love someone and who doesn't deserve anyone's love...I...I have wronged you Anika and your love for me. The love you gave me was so selfless, pure, and one that no one in my life has ever dared to give me. Anika, I didn't even know what love was or what it meant until I experienced it from you. Love isn't about intimacy or physical, tangible touch, but it is about those small gestures of care, certain words that makes one feel heard and cared for, and it is about being selfless. Anika, you did everything that love requires one to be. I was at fault. I wronged you and I did everything in my capacity to break this love and to break you. And I did everything on purpose which is the worse part Anika. That is the worst part Anika. You didn't deserve what I did you. I was so stupid that I decided to ruin you because of revenge...I am so sorry Anika...I am sorry..."

I noticed tears slowly making their way down his cheeks as he kept my hand still in his. I bit my lip lightly as I tried to hold back my tears as his words rekindled those feelings I had buried a long time ago. Feelings of vulnerability, care, compassion, and love...those that I had for Shivaay.

Sorry? Sorry is a small word for what he has done, but I have never seen him break down like this. This is so unlike him. Throughout our marriage, I have never seen him cry once nor be so vulnerable. He has never dared to be vulnerable as he knows it would show him as weak, but this vulnerability that he has unveiled to me is new and it scares me as well. Why is he so vulnerable? Moreover, why is he apologizing today? What has suddenly happened that has led him to become apologetic and confess his wrong deeds to me?

"Why are you apologizing right now Shivaay? Why after so many years? Please don't play your mind games again with me...Don't you dare break me again..." I argued as I got up and walked a step closer to the ocean waves.

Shivaay shook his head and grabbed my hand pulling me a step closer to him. I sighed as I looked away to avoid his gaze. He held my hand tightly and placed it on his chest. I looked up at him confused as he held my hand in place.

"If am playing mind games then right now shall this heart stop beating. Right now shall my life be pulled out of me Anika. I don't know how to convince you because it will be hard considering what I have done and how I have deceived you, but...I am sorry Anika...I am so sorry," He stopped as he waited to hear me say something, but I didn't know what to say.

I didn't know what to say or how to react. I am utterly confused. At this moment, I cannot tell if he is being truthful of not. He has spun me so hard in his web in the past that it has become very difficult for me to trust him. Somewhere I want to trust him, but I don't know if I should. I paused the thought as I focused on his eyes and seemingly I felt he was being truthful, but somehow my mind could not come in terms with it.

"Why did you wrong me so much? You must've had some humanity that would've stopped you from wronging me and for once embracing my love for you...I loved you so much and there must've been some moment when you would've also felt my love for you and become vulnerable to it. Hm? Shivaay?" I questioned as my hands lightly traced the button on his black collared shirt. His eyes kept still as he bit his lip before taking a deep breath and tightening his grip on my hand.

The wind beginning to catch up as it blew against our bodies that stood close to one another. I tightened the grip of my shawl with one of my hand as I left the other one on his chest to feel the beats of his heart. I waited patiently for his answer as he appeared to contemplate on his thoughts and figure something to say.

We stood in silence as the waves crashed and made their beloved way towards us. I suddenly screamed as the cold water caught me off guard. My arm tugging tightly on to his shirt as I stumbled pulling him towards me. His hands quickly wrapping around my waist tightly as he pulled me against his chest. His lips lightly brushing on the edge of my cheek. My head swiftly turned around at the point of his touch as my nose brushed lightly against his beard.

The pulse on my waist increasing as I felt butterflies in my stomach. My eyes lowered as I felt his gaze upon me that brought a veil of shyness upon me. I felt his eyes moving across my face and engraving its details in his heart. It was only his gaze that had time to time forced me to look away as the gaze dared to uncover a soul that was lost in depth of the body. His gaze slowly charming me once again as it had been a long time since such admiration was showered by him.

"Many moments were not a lie Anika...I wanted them to be a lie, but your love did me win at one moment. Your love did entangle me and I wanted to escape it, but it was difficult to because your love did weaken me Anika..."

Many moments were not a lie. Meaning those moments meant something to him. So those moments were not worthless to him. This means our relationship had some depth to it. It was not shallow, one-sided love, but a love that had touched both of us. I looked up at him slowly and saw a certain depth of honesty across his face as he weakly smiled with tears streaming down his cheeks. My hand slowly reaching towards those tears as I placed it lightly against his cheek. I don't know why, but I found the urge to touch his tears and make them mine. My fingers lightly wiping away his tears as he bit his lip and tightened his hold on my waist.

In that moment, the same feelings of care, compassion, and love began to overwhelm me. In that moment, those years of physical attraction remerged as I found myself forming a connection with him. My eyes slowly tracing the edges of his jawline as they moved to his eyes and the traces of his lips. My heart beginning to pound loudly as I felt a sudden need to hold him close and to be loved. I began to remember all the moments we shared and in that instance I wanted to be loved again by him...at least once.

"Don't wipe these tears Anika...Don't make me feel more ashamed for what I have done..."

"Shhh..." I whispered as I placed my hand against his lips. His eyes widening and looking at me in confusion as I shook my head at him.

"Let this moment just be Shivaay. For once let's not speak and think of what has happened..." I spoke softly as I brought my face closer to his. My eyes meeting the edges of his rose-colored lips that stood stone cold. I noticed his gaze falling down upon my lips that lightly quivered under the ocean breeze.

"My heart is still beating for you Anika..." He spoke as I felt my heart skip a beat. Beating for me? I remember how he had said something along the lines of it. Is it beating for love? I thought as I looked up at him confused. He weakly smiled as his hand lightly traced my arm.

My eyes closing shut at his touch that had become unfamiliar over the years. My hand lightly clenching his shirt as I felt his hand making it to my cheek. I felt his face coming closer towards mines' as I smelt his breath of alcohol spreading across my face. I slowly opened my eyes as I noticed his lips only being an inch away from mines'.

Do I want him to take the next step?Do I want him to be close to me and hold me just for a moment's time? Yes. I don't want to be his forever, but for a moment feel his comfort and his touch. I don't know why, but I have longed to be his for one more time since years. It's definitely not the alcohol messing with my mind as I knew these were the feelings I had for a long time. Unhinged feelings that he unraveled tonight with his softness towards me tonight.

And then his lips softly touched mines'. I slightly smiled as I wrapped my arms around him pulling him closely towards me as he continued to devour my lips. My hands digging deeply into the dark locks of his hair as his hands ran through my waist. Our breaths of alcohol further intoxicating us as they merged with one another. His lips taking their time as they nibbled mines lightly and making me want more.

His lips slowly letting go of mines' as his eyes fell on my face. His eyes admiring my features and searching for a place to mark. I smiled shyly at his admiration of me as he placed his hands against my warm cheeks and brought his face more closely towards me. And without another moment...his lips laid against my cheeks as he began to kiss them. Kisses moving from the edges of my jaw towards my cheek as he devoured each one and didn't let go for a moment's time.

My eyes closing shut as his warm touch shut down my barriers and pushed me towards the edge. His touch melting me and urging me to give in. I digged my face into his arm holding it tightly as pleasure began to slowly reach my heart.

"Anika...isn't this wrong...We shouldn't..." He mumbled in between kisses as I guided his face into my neck where his lips continued to run against through the side of it as he hit my pleasure spot on the edge of my neck. I felt a wet kiss right at the edge of it as his teeth lightly dug into my skin.

My eyes opening to the realization that this moment was wrong on many levels. We shouldn't be placing ourselves close to one another and finding pleasure in our misery and destruction. I the foremost should back away, but my heart is saying otherwise. My heart is only saying that I want to share this moment with him. Be close to him. Have him hold me and give me the love that was left incomplete from a dramatic divorce. My mind kept telling me it was wrong, but the other half me told me it wasn't and that it was needed. So, I gave in as I placed my lips against his shoulder kissing it softly.

"The truth is that in this moment only we can complete one another and erase the misery we share. Don't you want to pause this moment and be mines'?" I questioned looking back at him as his eyes widened at my sudden remark. He took a moment before taking a deep breath and placing his lips against my forehead.

"Yes...for once I want to be yours' Anika..." He whispered as I smiled and looked at him.

"And I for once will be yours'..."I said as I smiled as he embraced me tightly and picked me up in his arms. I laid my head against his shoulder as I pointed towards the white tent before us. He smiled and entered the unknown.

I heard the waves beginning to crash as the stars blanketed above us. Passion entangled with sadness and misery lasted for seemingly eternity. The moment in my complete senses as I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew it was morally wrong. I was the girl who always followed the rules of society, but at that moment I decided to forget about it all. And that was going to be my biggest mistake. One should never break the morals and rules of society as I have always thought. Never...but love is one thing that forces you to. And, so I broke the morals I always held tonight. It was wrong...all of it was, but in my senses I needed this moment. I needed this moment for some odd reason. This moment to finally end everything and escape the misery that I had placed myself in for five years. This moment was a culmination of anger, misery, sadness, and unrequited passion we held for one another. Culmination of an incomplete love we had for one another. These feelings and love had to be completed and end with this moment, so I let go of my thoughts and gave into my heart in my complete senses without any doubt about it. This moment marked an end of an era for me. At least that was what I thought it was and I was going to find out soon in the future that I was wrong...that when one breaks the rules and morals of society and one your parents have raised you with, there would be consequences...this moment was the beginning of something completely different....

Glimpse of the Next Chapter-Chapter 18:

I wrapped my shawl around me tightly as I began to quickly pace myself through the sand. I didn't know what to say. What was there to say considering the fact that I was in my complete senses when I gave into a moment of weakness and lived an unhinged desire and lust I had...Last night, I broke my morals. I lost my values all for the sake of pleasure. They say that one should never get trapped in the worldly things of lust and pleasure. But, I did. This will be my reckoning. I know it.

"Anika! Anika! Just listen to me once!" Shivaay screamed as I looked back and saw him running after me. I sighed as I closed my eyes shut trying to forget everything that happened, but I couldn't.

"Do you even know what we have done?! We crossed our limits last night and we cannot argue that! Do you even know what this means? We are divorced...we don't have any reliable relationship that would have allowed us to commit such sin!" I screamed as he stopped in his steps looking a bit taken aback from my words. His eyes widening as words took a hold of him and he didn't know what to say.

"Sin...last night was a sin to you...We were both in our senses!"

"I know! I know we were in our senses and that is what is sinful! We knew what we were doing was wrong, but guess what? That didn't stop us because we were entangled in the idea of lust...we don't love each other, so why the hell did we do this? Because of a thing called lust ok?!" I said as I slammed my hand in anger against my thigh as I clenched my jaw tightly.

He walked slowly towards me as his eyes stood still on my face. His feet made their way towards me and stopped an inch away from me as I took a step away only to have him hold my hand. I stopped as I looked up and into his eyes as I noticed them visibly getting teary...those were not the eyes I always had seen. They had an unusual sign of pain.

"Love...you don't love me..."He whispered as I raised my eyebrow at him trying to understand what he was saying. Why is he asking this question? He shouldn't be...

Love...loving him?...If I think about all the times he has hurt me and tuned his back towards me then would I say I love him?-No. Considering how he got married to me to get revenge and break me...would I still say I love him?-No. If love is based on the idea of honesty and loyalty then no. I do not love him. I cannot considering what he has done to ruin me and break me.

"No..."I confessed as my eyes met his.