Hi everyone :) I want to begin by thanking God for giving be the courage to continue to write, but also amazing readers like you who have read this story :) Thank you so much and I want to thank each and every reader who has read this story and given it so much love along with spreading the word about this story to other readers.

Please do read the paragraphs without dialogues as many are actually romantic scenes that are detailed and intimate, so as readers demanded, I put in a lot of romantic scenes in this chapter, so do read them if you want to :)

Don't forget to read part 2 that will give some surprise at the end ( for some readers it will be a surprise) and do read the last intimate scene between Shivika in part 2 (the long paragraphs in that scene are intimate scenes not character point of views-intimate scenes are not explicit, but still romantic).

Please do read part 2 as in Chapter 37 wedding will happen but drama will occur due to that scene in part 2, so I want to ensure no confusion arises when Chapter 37 is posted as I want all to have a good read :) Part 2 is shorter... I separated the update for transition purposes only:)

Yes, I could have gone the cliche route and began this three part wedding special with a wedding, but I am reversing traditions-mangalsutra being worn will be shown in this chapter and ghar pravesh will happen in next chapter before the vows.

As a writer, I made the creative decision to reverse wedding traditions making some happen before the wedding which you will find in this two part chapter :) Also, this chapter has flashbacks giving clues on why Shivika separated and what happened to Chaaya and this was the chapter in which I had to do flashbacks before Shivika began their new journey :)

This chapter is more on Anika's point of view to set her obsession track that will last a few chapters before it focuses on her building her love again...she first has to tackle her obsession.

Chapter 35 indicated Anika's thin line of obsession for Shivaay as she admitted her therapist told her she has an obsession for Shivaay, so take that into perspective to realize the sudden turn in her attitude and relationship with Shivaay-their relationship is very dynamic and this chapter shows how their marriage will be....

Also I had to add details in this chapter to set up and explain their point of view along with explaining romantic scenes since readers want more romance between them and explain the feelings characters have for one another, but will lessen as updates go forward :) Also, settings were only described in this chapter to set up the new track and set up a new image in readers' minds, but such will change in upcoming updates and details will lessen. Sorry :(

So, please do read part 2 as the end of Chapter 36 Part 2 is going to give a big surprise to all readers, so please do read it:)

Yes, I could have gone the cliche route and began this three part wedding special with a wedding, but as a writer, I made the creative decision to reverse wedding traditions making some happen before the wedding which you will find in this two part chapter :) Also, this chapter has flashbacks giving clues on why Shivika separated and what happened to Chaaya and this was the chapter in which I had to do flashbacks before Shivika began their new journey :)

I want to give a special mention to reader cestlavie448 who actually is a big part in this story as she has promoted this story to a lot of readers and not only guided me in becoming a better writer by her amazing helpful advice, but she also was the one who always encouraged me to write when I would give up and place this story on multiple holds, so I think all of you can also thank her because she encouraged me to continue to write or I would have given up a long time back :)

Thank you for reading and if you like this chapter then please do like, comment, and share :)

I tried my best to do grammar edits and will continue to do grammar edits only :)

Please do read the paragraphs without dialogues as many are actually romantic scenes that are detailed and intimate, so as readers demanded, I put in a lot of romantic scenes in this chapter, so do read them if you want to :)

______________________________________________________________________________

One Week Later

Author's Note: Please do read the paragraphs without dialogues as many are actually romantic scenes that are detailed and intimate, so as readers demanded, I put in a lot of romantic scenes in this chapter, so do read them if you want to :)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Shivaay. The name laid innocently engraved in my fate lines where it turned a deep shade of red. A shade that appears to symbolize the depths of a lover's love...passion for one...A shade that lovers place on before indulging in nights of passion...A shade that lovers scale across their souls before uniting and vowing to be one.

If only such was true for me...If only fate laid a blessing of love for me...If only fate would allow me to dip into this red engraving the feathers of love that forever would give my love life...allowing it to sail the oceans where all lovers go, diving into the depths of devotion, worshipping their love...consuming and intoxicating themselves with the tonic of lust...and cleansing their love into purity.

A soft smile appearing across my lips as I looked at my husband's name...finding the red shade symbolizing his wrath that reckoned by life...his wickedness that shackled my honor...his lust that lured me into sin...This red shade symbolizes the sacrifice of my virtue...virtue that as blood nourished my soul allowing it to live...survive the cruelties that beings tainted me with...this virtue in form of my pride, dignity, and honor...all now dying away, ready to cremate themselves in the flames as sacred vows will shackle me with my culprit...for a lifetime...but is he my culprit? Is he truly my culprit who saved me from my family? Saved my children from the cruel vices that my family may have committed?...Is he truly my culprit if he has claimed me as his...vowed to be mine?...Well...that is the question I ponder over...a question that keeps me awake day and night...knowing indeed...that eventhough he has wronged me...my damned heart still loves him...and thus my heart continues to sing it frail, croon, chorus in the mehfil of love.

"And now the last part of our meeting is quite important as serious changes to our team structure will be made," Dr. Klen's voice rumbling through my thoughts leading them to crash as I immediately clasped my palms together looking up towards him standing front in center of the conference room.

My eyes wandering back to Priyanka who sat in the chair next to me, looking straight ahead as she pursed her lips together appearing to chew on to sketches of her anger that appeared in the hues of red covering her sober eyes. A sense of revulsion picking itself from my womb as it tightened around my chest where memories of our friendship laid...a friendship in which we both cried our sorrows...laughed our bliss...spent moments as sisters bound by our beings...She always took hold of me when I broke down...I always held her hand guiding her through her heartbreaks and depression she lingered eons ago...I still love her as my sister and always will, but I wish...I wish she found value in our friendship...I wish she found belief in my love and adoration of her as my sister...Yet she didn't...So here we both are sitting together with our hearts at a distance...

She no longer see's me as a her friend...I can see it in her eyes which question the vices I have committed...I can see it in how she walked the other path when she encounters me...I can see it the way she whispers her obscenity towards me as she looks at me.

Tears lifting on to my eyes as I tore them back towards Dr. Klen who appeared to gather his notes before clearing his throat to garner the medical residents' attention. "Well, recently there has been some changes in the leadership of our team. Unfortunately, Dr. Amoli Thakur will be stepping down as the chief medical resident for the internal medicine team." My eyes widening feeling stunned by hearing the news slip from him.

Small whispers arising around us as everyone looked at one another quite appalled by the sudden change. What? When did this happen? Why is she being removed months before our residency ends? A sense of confusion looping itself around me as I looked at him before looking towards Amoli who sat still with her gaze lowered, but poaching herself in anger as she ferociously bit and chewed on dry skin laying on her lips...Her ego appearing to have been wounded as she sat as an injured bull ready to be provoked any minute.

Dr. Klen sighing loudly as he looked at Amoli once again considering the state of affairs both were indulging at the moment as the much older physician was indulging in an affair with Amoli. "The matters to why she has been removed will be kept private as human resources has decided to do such. However, now since she is being removed, I along with Dr. Marcos and the rest of human resources decided to review all of your performances since the past few years and this year as well along with the interviews you gave recently for this position before Dr. Thakur was picked. Bearing into mind your performance as medical residents, we have all unanimously come to a conclusion that we will like Dr. Anika Malhotra to be the chief medical resident until her residency ends next spring."

My heart leaping forward as an instant thrill of excitement erupted inside of me hearing a small blessing from fate touching me...hope appearing to heal wounds from begotten in healing others...bliss found in knowing that now I too could bring change that I have dreamt of doing ever since I walked into this ground of healing in naivity.

A wide smile appearing across my lips as I felt a rush of burning, flaming red scattering across my cheekbones hearing claps erupting to appreciate my achievement. My gaze lifting towards Priyanka who sat in silence not once looking towards me...not even once wishing me, but appearing as if she dazed into her own thoughts where I only existed as an apparition who was not visible to her.

Dr. Klen gesturing me to get up as I lifted myself up placing my hand naturally on my womb feeling them bundling up in my happiness liking the attention they thought they were getting, except it was for their mother. A soft smile appearing once again while I walked to the front before shaking his hand exchanging pleasantries with him.

"Thank you so much. I really didn't expect this," I noted feeling my voice tremble with the rush of adrenaline that was now beginning to pump through me from pure elation. A feeling of guilt somewhat mixing into my jubliance as I looked at Amoli, who appeared flustered with tinges of anger, but embarrassment found in her reddened cheeks. My lips recoiling back instantly realizing I unknowingly had pinned a nail in the clout of sorrow she likely was dwelling in the moment, but masking it with anger...She too worked a lot for this position and gave everything to it...Think Anika, how you would feel if you were in her place...

Sighing, I immediately attempted to hide my smile realizing I shouldn't be acting as a fool.

I don't know what is happening to me, but I am acting quite childish these days which may just be the shades of rowdiness from the little ones.

"Indeed, well you do deserve this position Dr. Malhotra considering how much you have contributed in recent years to providing and serving our community along with recently setting a successful charity show and being one of the first to lead our free clinics. We need a chief medical resident like you to lead others, so I shall hope you do perform your duties," Dr. Klen noted as I smiled weaving my achievement into overjoy that trickled into my heart which continued to beat loudly.

"T-Thank you for your kind words Dr. Klen," I spoke feeling a little demurred upon noticing everyone's gaze was towards me...everyone who now I would be leading.

A hint of nervousness with dash of anxiety lifting from the air of joy and churning into my jubilant heart before scattering into my conscious as reality hit me...realizing that I...the shy, anxious Anika...will now have to lead others...Weakness lifting into my feet as I felt it splinter into courses of stress that now was rumbling loudly inside of me...Oh great, what am I going to do? How am I going to handle everything? I already am struggling with the twins, and then there is the wedding, and then this...Oh my God...Nausea kicking in at the wrong moment as I clasped my hand against my mouth in an attempt to distract myself.

"So, everyone Dr. Malhotra will be joining us next week starting from Monday as chief medical resident and Dr. Malhotra, we will email you all the details about meeting the human resources representative on Monday who will lead you through the change alright?" Dr. Klen's gentle voice breaking my thoughts as I bit my lip attempting to keep composure, but knowing pure havoc now was burning its roots inside of me making my mind go into a frenzy of fear mixed with bitter poison of taunts, from my self-esteem, that questioned if I was fit for the job.

"Y-Yes. Thank you again sir," I spoke shaking his hand once more before my eyes wandered to the other colleagues who began to get up gathering their files and notes from our weekly meeting.

"Oh and also congratulations for your wedding tomorrow with Mr. Oberoi," Dr. Klen spoke amiably, but loudly with a sudden silence falling into the room. His words snipping into them as they found interest appearing to connect different dots in there head before looking at me with an unusual gaze...that appeared to question me...or the character that faltered underneath...inside of me...a character that once veiled itself with dignity, but now could not as that veil's fabric had seemingly leeched away on its own....a fabric in which laid my honor...An unusual perversion found in the filth they carried within their minds...a filth they continued to rub upon me each time they laid their eyes upon me or spoke their vices to me...a filth that was now molding and hardening itself upon my heart not allowing me to breathe...in the corrupt darkness that now was surrounding it...letting it know how it was not a part of them...or their society...Isolation...abandonment...that was the worth of my soul at the moment.

"Um...t-thank you," I whispered letting out a weak smile that would act as a veil of bliss...concealing the thorns that laid lifelessly upon my heart...where bliss could never enchant the lagoon of love that laid there...thorns that barely held to life consumed with tresses of wistful melancholy wrapped around beats of sorrow...knowing how once again this love was going to slowly wither itself into the poison that the demon was going to bite into my flesh after vowing me to be his consort.

My gaze falling back to Priyanka who appeared to roll her eyes, pursuing her lips tightly together before grabbing her bag and following other colleagues out the door who appeared to look back towards me indulging in babbled gossip and indulged in slandering the remnants of dignity I carried.

"It was quite a surprise announcement Mr. Oberoi made...But, I am happy for you both. So, anyways, I will see you on Monday correct? Is that fine after a wedding weekend?" Dr. Klen noted jokingly as I attempted to smile placing a mask of a blushing bride to be before grabbing my bag from the chair and collecting my notes.

"Y-yes that is fine...Um...I will see you on Monday then. Thank you once again Dr. Klen," I noted shaking his hand before letting him walk away towards Amoli who appeared to sit in silence in her chair mulling over the loss of a position...a throne...for which she had grinded years for...a throne now that escape from her...leaving only piles of humiliation. A feeling of guilt appeared to swell into me seeing her like this...realizing I had taken that throne from her.

Should I approach her? Or should I...? I sighed contemplating upon the thought as Dr. Klen pulled her into an embrace appearing to console her wounded pride. No, this is not a good time and I might just depress her wounds with the salted grains of my own triumph...indeed I am her culprit who took her throne.

Without saying another word, I placed on my pastel pink coat before stuffing my white coat into my tote bag and quickly rushing out the door wanting to escape the mortifying moment...realizing how I unknowingly became part of the deed that wounded someone's feat.

As I quickened my step down the hallway, I found Priyanka dwelling into a deep discussion with other colleagues as they appeared to look over their shoulders towards me implying that indeed the conversation somewhere held a piece of me in it. My gaze lowering as it taught itself to do since the past week after I returned back to work...the perversion and obscenity that laid in each and individual's sight created an unusual revulsion within me...a revulsion lingering within my womb where they were not able to tolerate their existence being questioned.

"Hm...I wonder how she got promoted? Honestly, I think we had other capable individuals for the job," Aubrey whispered as I sighed ignoring the comment before quickening my pace down the hallways.

"Who knows?...You're right there are more capable people than Anika. Guess, my brother had something to do with it...after all, she has weaved a nice web around him...with that façade of innocence she carries...He is completely lovelorn for her," The snarky comment escaping from my betrayer. I immediately looked back finding my eyes falling towards Priyanka who threw me a smirk not once flinching from the comment...not once aversed from the sick thought she had proudly displayed... not once wavering from the fact she was slandering her own friend...who once was like her sister.

Tears sweltering into my eyes hearing the way she publicly accosted my dignity...portraying me as a woman who...I paused the thought feeling a distension in my womb before wrapping my hand around them to protect their innocence from the repungent, deviants that took sight of them.

"H-How can you say such words Priyanka?...I mean...can we just talk for once in private? Don't you think it is a better option?" I spoke feeling a tinge of frustration touch upon remembering how for a week I had been attempting to catch hold of her and indulge in a momentary clarity, but failing as she appeared to put on a cloak of aloofness finding me as an inconspicuous creature.

Her eyes appearing to soften as she appeared to ponder over my offer, but failing to come to terms with it as she sighed before walking towards me. A wicked smile, resembling Shivaay's, appearing across her lips as her eyes looked at me up and down appearing to weigh me on a scale of value...to see if I had some worth to even be glazed upon or be spoken to. "Talk in private?...Really? You really even think that is an option considering what you have done Anika. We had so many moments when you could've told me the truth...the truth that you were my brother's ex-wife...I mean how could you play me like this? You know Ma says you decided to befriend me to find a path back towards my brother...not for his love, but for his wealth... and now seeing you betraying Armaan and indulging in an affair with Shivaay bhai...I mean..."

Her words etching a wedge in the trust I once held for her...a trust in which I surrendered my vulnerabilities...my flaws...my fears to her...believing she was my sister...but I guess this trust was just an illusion meant to be broken one day...Perhaps fate did good to me by revealing the colors of those whom I loved dearly. How could I even me upset with her knowing that my own parents...my own blood shredded my honor into pieces not once even lifting their gaze and looking into my eyes where my innocence laid?

My eyes wandering back to the group of colleagues standing behind her finding a sense of comfort in the tears that escaped from my wounded pride considering now I was seen as their foe since I looted a post that was never even theirs.

"W-Well, if that is what you think then I cannot change you....or the filth that lays in your mind...I-If...If I really was after your brother's wealth...I would've claimed it when we got divorced...but I never asked a penny from him because my love can never be valued by the tangible entities he has...Never...a-and...considering that you would decide to say such choice of words despite everything we have gone through as friends through both the highs and lows, shows that perhaps...what we called as friendship was never there...it was a mere figment of an illusion that we both spoiled ourselves in..." I spoke letting out a laugh upon the realization how each and every person I loved...turned out to be a self-indulgent being...who once getting their purpose met walked away leaving me barren...

"Guess, I will just be your sister-in-law then...Hm?...Sometimes I wonder whether you knew the value of a friendship...If you knew it then you wouldn't even attempt to degrade me in such a manner amongst those who you yourself despised at one point...amongst those about whom you vented your frustrations with me!...Well now I know...I know that one should never truly trust or become vulnerable to a stranger...a complete stranger...hell one shouldn't even trust their own blood," I spat feeling my anger splintering from the remnants of bitterness that still swiveled from the way my own family, my friend,...and even my love betrayed me...not once thinking about me and how their actions would impact me, but only in feeding their ego...psyche...and pride.

Priyanka's eyes widening appearing to not recognize the woman standing in front of her...who seemingly had found wrenches of strength from the surface of demure that blended with fraility which rose from the roots of my very being.

Knowing I had spoken my dues...placing sensibility upon the betrayer, I decided to walk away from the adverse essence that was surrounding me at the moment.

Gracing my fingertips against the elevator button, I looked back towards them finding them repulsed from the words I had spoken...A momentary solace touching me realizing how for once I had captured my roots in the ground not once faltering to spite. A smile appearing across my lips as I lowered my gaze realizing where the strength had come from...a strength that now was arising from their innocent heartbeats deluging into my weakness and adding seeds of fortitude to it.

The elevator doors opening as I looked back encountering Maxwell, Shivaay's assistant, who appeared to be in a transitory state of panic. "Mrs. Oberoi, there you are. Actually we have been trying to get hold of you on your phone, but you didn't reply."

My eyes widening upon hearing the two syllable word escaped from his lips...Mrs. Oberoi. The tune of it drumming my heartbeat realizing how my own essence appeared to vanquish finding it buried under the sovereignty of the man to whom I was about to vow my loyalty to...

A loud cough breaking my thought making me look towards Maxwell who sighed before speaking once more,"Actually we were looking for you because Mr. Oberoi just returned from his business trip and is waiting to see you in his office."

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

A heartbeat instantly escaping from the condrum of beats upon hearing his words. A small smile capturing my lips as I remembered the innocent text messages he was sending me for a week...messages I seemingly might've forgotten to reply to. A giggle in my heart erupting realizing how I indulged in harmless teasing...imagining how he must've been pacing back and forth in his hotel room barely holding on to pieces of patience which he lacked...hoping and anticipating my response.

"Thank you for letting me know," I spoke as he let go of the elevator doors and walked away out to the first floor.

Biting into my thumb, I attempted to suppress my smile, but failing before getting into the elevator and pressing the button leading to the devil. My hand slipping into my coat's pocket as I took out my phone reading the poetic lines he sent me every day.

Sunday

They say the moon is where divine lives...they say the moon is where divine lives...to whom one should pray and beg for mercy, but I shall say the noor...who resides in the light of my heart...who blesses her grace upon me...is enough that even if divine now lays punishment upon me...I shall take it knowing I had already been blessed for a moment by the light that lives upon the cruel world...

Monday

When I look at the light...when I look at the light...I don't pray for mercy, but I pray that for once it shall allow me to lay my gaze upon the one this heart has only loved...the one who is pure like the vines found in the garden of celestial beings...the one who is innocent like the one that riped from the earth's beginnings...where divine blessed beings as her.

Tuesday

She lays her tears at the doorsteps of fate...She cups her palms asking for bliss...She treads long distances in the search of the lakes of love...Oh if she only knew...her savior...her love was the one who was close to her...right next to her...watching her...in her heart...where he breathed his fire...his strength...his solace.

Wednesday

This heart begs her presence...this heart begs her presence and if she shall not be seen at the moment then perhaps this heart will dive into the realms from where it will never return...but still this sing its tunes...its rubab of love...sing even if it shall be punished by ashes of darkness...sing even if its soul shall be relinquished into graves of thorns where it shall scream for eternity....it shall sing even in the last breaths that escape...It shall sing the love that it for once has been blessed with...a love that even can turn coal into pure nectar.

Thursday

We are close to being one. We are close to being one...but even these days feel as if an eternity...an eternity that appears to only be barren...lifeless....hallow...An eternity that is suffocating me not allowing me to love...but I shall love...and so here I lay holding on to the beats of my love...hoping...praying...that even if life takes my soul...my love shall live for you....

My heart beginning to flutter with my eyes gracing across the lines of love that he had laid upon the tender wounds of my heart...Lines that were weaving me into his love that no longer appeared shallow, but...a love that only belonged to the divine heaven...where it is treasured in the lakes of pure love and only blessed upon some.

I love him...A smile erupting across my lips as I bit my lip wanting to suppress the thought and lock it shut in the crates of betrayal he had laid in the barren dunes of my heart...but...somehow I cannot.

"Look at what your Papa is doing hm?..." I whispered to the little ones I held with a giggle escaping from me before laying the phone upon my womb wanting them to see the poetry their father had somehow by a miracle managed to write...Shivaay and poetry? The thought of imagining Shivaay as a poet...singing the tunes of his vulnerability to the world...mesmerizing the fragile love I held...not being able to realize indeed how love may now just have begun to lift him from the darkness towards the light where his humanity could awaken.

That night when my father was holding on to his last breaths, I had promised him to marry Shivaay for the sake of our blessing...believing that I shall forever only allow him to repent while not accepting myself as his wife...and that is still true...I cannot yet gather the strength to love him again, but seeds of that strength are being plowed by Shivaay upon my heart and I am allowing him to because somewhere...I do want to be his lover....not his wife...but his soulmate...

The elevator doors opening as I immediately walked out finding my heartbeats continuing to increase raising havoc inside of me not able to wait another second without seeing him. I am a fool for not replying to his lines of love...But...I don't know...something inside of me held me back from closing our distance...as if wanting me to allow him to suffer that distance...the pain of that longing...that I salvaged within for years.

"Good evening Mrs. Oberoi," I heard an employee say as I walked past her desk. I slightly smiled feeling a tinge of awkwardness realizing how my identity had now merely just become associated with the man I was about to marry...my own identity...of being a woman, a physician, a being...all scraped by just a simple Mrs. Oberoi.

Smiling, I greeted her while hearing others also greet me with the identity that I was going to cloak upon me soon. Without any hesitation, I smiled greeting others finding an unusual sense of respect in their eyes...that once appeared to question me...my character...my values...my honor. I know their eyes wrar masks of respect because indeed the psyche can never get rid itself of norms...norms that consume their existence from birth, but perhaps for now I shall do with these masks...it is better for my children whose innocence will not allow them to realize their mother's truth.

My gaze falling to the receptionist who immediately lifted her feet from the ground and grabbed my hand shaking it with a gracious smile. "Good evening Mrs. Oberoi. Please go ahead as Mr. Oberoi is waiting for you," She spoke while I slightly smiled before making my way down the path leading towards him.

An unusual excitement breeching inside of me as I felt it bumble and flutter not only within my own heart, but the little heartbeats that struck its presence within me. Indeed, it's been long since I have heard his coarse voice...gazed into his blue hues that contains shades of anger, sorrow, and even love...felt his seductive touch that graces the edges of my flaws...A smile touching me as I bit on to it hard to straighten it, let it fall, and disguise it with grim crease.

Don't surrender Anika...Don't you dare. Let him know that this time you will be the one dominating the relationship. Once you give in...that is it...another repeat of the first time...the cycle will repeat...that toxic, vicious cycle breaking between screams of rage to nights of passion...My conscious spoke immediately taking reign of my love that naively was waltzing into a conniving web of allure he was now weaving and luring me into.

My hand lightly hitting the door wanting to awaken the demon, now wounded perhaps with love, as I stood in patience attempting to hold the foolish smile...Why am I so happy? Why am I so excited to see him? This is wrong...absolutely wrong...but then why am I wanting to see him...to feel his touch...to hear his voice...to feel his love...damn it Anika...damn it. Why are you giving him another chance?...After everything he has done...he betrayed you...he dishonored you...how can you allow the man who buried your honor in the grave to love you?

I know it is wrong...I know I am wrong in wanting to love him, but my heart tells me...that there is more to the story...I just feel it...I just feel he did not betray me...I don't know why, but especially after hearing that he never got intimate with Tia...somewhere this hope is lingering not wanting to let go of me.

I have to allow him for once to touch humanity...I know it's his demons that consume him...but I know he can be mended and I will give him a chance...for our children...as for a lifetime...as I promised...I have to be with him.

"Come in!" His voice seamlessly echoing and escaping the slits of the barrier between us as I felt demure touch me before clasping my trembling hand against the door and opening it to find him...

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

His blue hues meeting mine, appearing to pause laying remnants of admiration as love appeared to speak in the silence that latched upon him at the moment. My heart appearing to halt for a moment finding itself drifting...merging into solace upon finding its lover's company after days of being deprived from him grace. Trailing my fingertips against the doorknob, I pressed against it closing it in an instant...to allow a moment of only us...a moment in which only our presence could exist.

A soft smile appearing across his lips as he laid in his throne tracing his fingertips across his lips appearing to allude to wanting them to be touched...to be devoured...to be relished by his lover...A shade of red grazing against my cheeks reading the cruel intentions held in his eyes at the moment.

"And they finally met...After years of being deprived from love...years of suffering in the thorns of separation...years of longing to be in one another's embrace...cradling one another's hearts...they shall have finally encountered that night...that night to unite...to be one..." His tender love sieving within the barriers I held in the grim crease upon my lips...letting a gentle smile touch it...a smile of the heart in solace who finally became embraced by the love of her lover's.

Trailing my fingers against my bag...I let it slip off my shoulder...letting go of its burden... as I let it fall to the ground before gliding the edges of my heel towards him finding an unusual need to capture our distance...wanting to let him know the teasing I had indulged it...letting him know I missed him...perhaps even longed for him...but resisted it wanting to punish him...allowing him to crawl under the miseries of loneliness...of being forelorned from love...

My heel forcing me to stop against the edge of the table realizing that a distance was necessary...that a distance was essential to win the battle I had now unknowingly become part of. His eyes standing still appearing to search the love I had delicately wrapped within me...ensuring he would not find it until truly grasping on to the commandments of love.

My hand tracing itself gently against the table moment by moment crawling towards his fingertips that laid across from it before capturing its hold..."And finally he realized the longing...the dread...the grief she cradled within her...love for years...grief...upon being savaged by her lover...her lover who mercilessly left her abandoned on the paths that led to only the dark lover's night...a night that never let light touch upon that love...and finally after suffering only a piece of dunes of misery that she suffered and consumed for years...He finally has learned...only partly...what a lover's longing for love is..." The lines whispering themselves from the wrath my conscious wanted to spew upon him while my heart wanted to in an instant embrace him.

A smile reaching his lips while keeping the silence, but tending the moment, he grasped my hand as a force lifted my feet allowing them to glide against the floor before driving me into his arms. My hands calling for balance before tracing them against the pinches of his heart finding the company of his fingertips around my waist.

His body leaning back in his throne as he lowered me towards him capturing my gaze...numbing my conscious...allowing my love to breathe. My eyes lowering finding themselves intrigued by his lips that were whispering sweet nothings as he pulled me closer making my hands collapse against the handle of the chair barely lifting my body up that was brushing against his...finding the heat of our flesh molding into one...wanting to graze against themselves...

A tender touch slowly trailing up the curve of my spine as my eyes closed shut hearing a chuckle slip from him before appearing to lift himself to bring himself closer to the tinkers of my flaws. His warm breath brushing against my lips making them quiver...making them long for his touch...a touch that I wanted to devour in...salivate upon...and relish in day and night.

"W-What are you doing...?" I whispered as he let out a small laugh and without any notice, my feet turned themselves up finding themselves guided by its commander.

My body lifting itself with a tight grasp taking hold of my wrist before pulling me into his embrace letting the curves of my spine grace against his heart that laid against it. A gasp lifting itself out of me as his fingertips trailed a tease...grasping to each and every seam of the thin, chiffon cloth that was colored in the shade of love...as his nose criss crossed from the borders of my coat before slipping into the naked skin exposed from the thin strap of my dress...My pulse dropping to my knees that began to tremble...becoming fragile to the seduction that he was now vigorously beginning to impose upon me capturing me in the palm of his hand...knowing my vulnerability...

His lips barely brushing against the brim of my neck...the weakest spot...that eventually allowed him many nights of pleasure. My hands gathering strength as I matched the etches of his fingers before grasping them tightly not wanting them to not tease longer, but finding a thrill bubbling inside of me as they traced to my navel. "S-Shivaay...p-please..." I whispered barely cracking through the moment...as my breaths barely appeared to trickle since they fell and jumped beneath my heart.

"I...am doing what you want me to do..." He hissed laying the heat of his mouth against my ear as my heartbeat skipped finding its true intentions caught...intentions of making love...that seemingly lingered within me in secret.

"S-somebody will come..." I whispered looking towards the closed door... attempting to assert bits of dominance in the moment knowing it was wrong to allow him such easy access to intimacy. His lips appearing to lift themselves against my ear, catching a smirk as he sighed probing them, teasing them, before gently pressing his lips against the corner of my ear letting it catch a shade of red.

Silence touching our lips as I felt our bodies do the talking with my fingers appearing to press against his hands wanting them to untangle them from the creases of my dress, but barely gathering the strength to do such. His nose continuing to nuzzle at the back of my neck as I bit my lip attempting to not smile, but failing with his hand trailing the end of my hair before brushing them to the side laying a soft, moist kiss on my shoulder making me shutter immediately making me dig my nails into his hands not able to bear the temptation that he appeared to offer.

"Now...don't be a typical wife...say something different Mrs. Oberoi..." His seduction spoke before gently kissing my pulse...making it feverish... that now was beating eagerly wanting....desiring his impassioned touch that spoke love.

My cheeks turning red as I heard the simple word escape from him...Mrs. Oberoi...It's been years since someone has called me such...I remember how he used to tease me with the term before luring me into moments of passion.

Lowering my head, I attempted to decrease his access to me wanting to tease him in the moment knowing how much he hated it. "Hm...Dr. Malhotra that is to you Mr. Oberoi," I whispered as we stumbled forward with our feet entangling into one another not wanting to let go...enjoying the charade of competing for dominance.

Shivaay letting out a chuckle before tightening his grasp around my waist. "Hm...I like role play...I am the boss...you are the employee..." He mumbled before burying his lips into my neck suddenly falling into a cave of passion as his lips took hold of my bare skin beginning to layer it with simple pecks to wistful kisses devouring on to the bittersweet, dewy taste of it. A heave escaping from me as my heart dropped its shells...of strength...in a moment escaping from its beats and surrendering to the one who was now fully was on a trail of consuming it...ravishing in it....and capturing its sovereign reign.

"S-Shivaay...w-what...we shouldn't be...doing this...hm?...We...I...I should go..." My thoughts barely making sense and not even able to form a complete line as he pulled me back against his chest with all his strength before continuing his triumph of passion to the edges of my jawline which I began to allow him to access. My eyes closing shut not able to bear the moment as heat lifted upon to my cheeks that emerged from his lips which began to trail them.

"We should be doing this...You are mine...and I am yours...We love each other...and that is enough...Nobody can stop us...if you want me to let go then I will stop...but if you want this and I too...then let it be..." He whispered in between the kisses he continuing to salivate upon me barely allowing me to breath finding my senses...my body undulating and being consumed by how he was worshipping my flaws....admiring my demure...cherishing a feeble soul.

A smile appearing across my lips hearing his last words...realizing how he still kept hold of my right...acknowledging I had the power to leave the moment. Should I let go?...I should considering he is not my husband...yet...and...I myself had promised to not give into him...but then...somewhere I want to give in...I want him to express this passion upon me...I want him to lust only upon me...

It's wrong...It's wrong to want these desires...because somewhere I feel it is an obsession...something that I do not want to admit knowing that perhaps it could be true...thus this is a delusion that I keep within me...a delusion that the small bit of love I have for him is purely love...not an obsession.

His lips falling apart from my cheek as he traced them back to my ear before kissing it, allowing me to slightly open my eyes, finding relief from the sensual spark he appeared to light within me...wanting me to further dive into it, perhaps even, myself taking a bite of it.

My gaze lowering capturing our hands that laid entangled with one another across my womb finding themselves protecting them...and allowing them to feel the love that now seemingly was appearing to escape from us. He sighed before laying his lips against the inner core of my ear. "I missed you so much...you will not believe how much my heart yearned to see you...to hold you...to love you. You were everywhere...in everything...It sounds generic, but...truly the thought of you lingered in each and every single thing I did...Thinking what you would do or say...thinking about what you would be doing at the moment...If I had the will, I wouldn't haven't left you this week...but I had to...for us...But, let me tell you one thing Anika...it felt as if someone had ripped my heart and tied a char around it...smoldering it with it...suffocating it barely allowing it to hold on to the breaths of its love...longing for clemency...for respite...and I begged for it, but only to find it in this moment...the moment you walked in with those eyes...that spoke love for me...was the moment I found my awakening...I don't know what love is Anika, but if this is love then I am in love...in love with you..." My eyes widening hearing the sweet nothing escape in a fragile, tender pearl that wistful chimed into my ear before dragging itself down to my heart making it flutter and capture it.

A small smile appearing across my lips as I immediately turned my gaze meeting his eyes that had lost their demon...appearing to surrender...begging for acceptance found in those blue hues that for once did not hold darkness, but a light escaping from the love they held. A truth found in the lines he spoke which laid a finger on the trembling love, held within me, for once appearing to heal the fears it held...fear that it was not loved...

He loves me...and in this moment...it doesn't appear shallow...it doesn't appear selfish...it doesn't appear sadistic...it appears pure...it appears naïve...it appears virtuous.

A delicate touch brushing against my cheek as I found his palm taking grasp of it. Our lips appearing to quiver with heat escaping from one and teasing the other. My eyes barely lifting themselves up before encountering his which appeared radiant with admiration dipping into mysteries I held.

"You don't have to say anything...I just wanted you to know how much I love you. I know you love me Anika...and to feel that love is enough for me...enough to allow me to live...because a man like me...doesn't even deserve to be loved...Thank you for listening...at least someone did..." His voice appearing to tremble as I felt a tear escape from my eye without a warning, but appearing to melt in the simplicity that not his tongue, but his love spoke...a simple line that held an unusual suffocation...a struggle...a wound that each day he pricked to keep it fresh reminding himself of the sins he pursued.

Doesn't deserve to be loved? How can he even say such?...How can he think such low of himself?...He does deserve to be loved...Of course he does...He is my love...In this moment, I do want to hold him...embrace him...and claim my love...

My teeth taking hold of my lips not wanting to let my tears consume me and show him that his words indeed had caught hold of me since even in this moment I want to assert my power...but I shouldn't...No matter what he has done...He doesn't deserve this from me....but then...this is for him...He has to change...for not only me, but our children...I can give into these small moments to give him hope, but if he thinks that he can fully endure his passionate love upon me then he is wrong...that day will only come when I accept him.

His hand simmering away from my cheek before unraveling himself from me allowing our flesh to escape from the moment of solace they found...a solace allowing them to be one, but only for a moment. Only a moment.

Lowering my gaze, I hid my tears running my hand awkwardly against the side of my neck feeling the tender nuances of carnal kisses he had laid. He appeared to lean back against the table before a gentle touch was felt upon my wrist as I found his hand wrapping it before pulling me towards him with a gentle smile crossing his lips.

"The moment I saw you today...was the moment I found peace...peace from a week of complete chaos and havoc," He words stringing the tunes of my heart making it drum wanting to believe in his words.

His eyes moving up and down as I followed them looking at the dress that flowed down from the crown of my waist admiring the darker shade of red that spilled upon it. A small smile touching me realizing why he was fonding over it at the moment. "Hm...You are teasing me aren't you?...You know this is my favorite color on you," He spoke making a giggle escape from my lips before I shrugged my shoulders.

"It's purely a coincidence Shivaay...stop being deluded...I don't have all the time in the world to think of ways to tease you." A smirk touching me knowing I was lying since indeed I may have slipped the dress on accident knowing he might show up today considering tomorrow is our wedding...and indeed I was right. Only Anika can understand her Shivaay...no one knows his layers...his thoughts...more than me.

Shivaay raising his eyebrows as he grinned shaking his head appearing to catch on to the fact I was lying. "Acha ji?...Hm...well what a nice coincidence fate has played...After all, tonight you will be only mine," The last line rolling out of his tongue making my heart skipping a beat hearing the bold statement escape him. His eyes appearing to unwind the dress I wore with that sinful thought he was thinking at the moment.

"W-What are you saying?" My voice barely peeping a squeak as I grabbed a firm hold of my coat placing its shade of pink upon my bare skin, hiding the line of the deep cleavage that was now pulling its way down, realizing his gaze was lingering there finding a sight to behold...and appease his lust that he gripped tightly onto his teeth which bit into his lips.

A chuckle escaping from him before he pulled himself up and grasped onto my wrists forcing my palms to reveal the shades of love they had colored their fate lines with...a shade that was reminiscent of perhaps the love he had for me. His eyes appearing to marvel over the intricate design that criss crossed with peculiar, exotic blossoms, where the seeds of love laid, before entangling into vines of desire that further merged into the letters of his name, a name that was engraved upon my soul, encircling around the borders of my palm finding the deep, rich shade of red...approaching a shade of ebony...there.

The heat of his mouth escaping, burning the name where it laid upon my palm, inciting a small shiver down my spine as I felt a blush touch me feeling shy. His eyes continuing to roam in the search of his name, but failing to realize his name laid right at the center hidden below the vines of desire that covered it.

A giggle escaping from me as I realized for once I had triumphed him in this matter...since it was my idea on where to place his name...knowing he fails to find simplicity, despite always disentangling complexity. Shivaay's eyes shooting up immediately looking at me curiously, realizing I may have been the culprit who failed his search to find a treasure. "You did this didn't you?...Anika...what has gotten into you?" He spoke catching me off guard by the sudden childishness I had seemingly caught on to.

Gotten into me? His question appearing to puzzle me as I chewed on my lip trying to figure indeed what is happening to me? Why am I suddenly feeling giddy and wanting to be childish despite knowing the mess we both lay in?...Despite knowing the filth we have consumed ourselves with...despite knowing what he has done to me...how he has seemingly taken my honor by such a betrayal...and yet here I am wanting to tease him, smile with him,...and even...shamelessly love him?...I shouldn't be feeling this way...I should be upset...I should have that grief I held within me a week ago and yet I cannot find it...

Somewhere my mind is focusing upon just our wedding...focusing on our future...focusing on the fact how essential it is for both of us to strengthen our bond for the sake of these two...for the sake of our children...

No. I have not forgotten. I have not forgotten the day he betrayed me...I have not forgotten the day he dishonored me...I have not forgotten the way our families spewed their vices upon me...I have not forgotten, but somewhere I want to numb it...numb all of this and just focus on our children...and focus on giving them a family they deserve....

These days...everything is about the children...not once do I think of anything else besides them...always pondering upon the thought how I have now committed myself to a man, who carries many demons inside of him, but how I have promised my children and my father to be his for a lifetime...He will repent...he will regret...I will not give in easily...but it does not mean I will despise him because I cannot...I cannot give our children the parents they do not deserve...I cannot give my children the family and the childhood I have grown up in that has made me like this...vulnerable...fearful...full of demure not once fighting...No. I have to give my children what thy deserve...happiness...peace...and bliss. If he and I can never fully love one another...at least we can keep a bond that would allow us to raise our children together because one thing we both in common is our love for them.

A sudden snap catching me out of my thoughts making me flinch and immediately look up finding Shivaay giving me a peculiar smile before waving his hand in front of my face. "Hello...Anika...where are you?" He spoke a bit loudly before bursting into laughter as he shook his head and grabbed my hand.

Rolling my eyes, I looked the other way not saying a word knowing I should be keeping my distance, but somewhere that devil I carry not allowing me to...the devil that buries itself into lust...wanting more and more of him.

"It's an obsession Anika...You have love, but also a very thin line of obsession..." Dr. Wallace's words appearing in my mind making me shiver before taking a rough breath remembering the last session we had...when I was with Armaan....remembering how the session began before I layered into the idea of how Shivaay continued to repeat in my mind.

What is happening? Why is this thought coming back to me?...Especially now. No. It's not a thin line of obsession as Dr. Wallace says...well...I don't know...I should know considering I am a physician myself...and yet I want to deny it...somewhere knowing her words do hold the truth...that I do have a thin line of obsession for this relationship...this toxic relationship.

"Acha, I have a lot to talk with you, but before we do that I have a surprise for you...." Shivaay's voice pulling me out of my trance as I immediately looked towards him confused. Surprise? What surprise?

Shivaay smiling as he entwined his hand into mine before pulling me closer towards him. "It's a very nice surprise, but before that we will spend some nice, quality time together...you...me...and of course them," He spoke before looking at my womb where they laid peacefully finding bits of happiness in being in their father's presence.

Quality time? What? Quality time at seven at night and a day before our wedding? How can he even think such knowing the state of our families at the moment? They both despise one another and also the both of us as well. Even though the wedding is right around the corner, the endless arguments over the littlest things have not stopped from the clothes to the arrangements...they both are wrenching out their anger over the situation upon one another...So how can he even think of taking me anywhere?

"Acha...waise how are my babies? I hope they are not giving too much stress to you and causing problems," Shivaay noted making me sneer at him as I placed my hand on my womb looking at them remembering how indeed they were not at their best behavior at the moment.

I sighed before grabbing my purse from the floor and placing it on my shoulder. "Well...if you say constant morning sickness and mood swings are not problems...then no. They are fine," I replied feeling my temper crawl up a little bit once again like it was doing frequently these days. It's been ages since I have had my temper issues, but recently they have started coming back up.

It's been quite difficult lately for me to even clench on to my anger tightly when Ma or Thayee ji decide to lay their animosities at odd moments...especially when I come from work and meet their slew of words that continue the taunts...the obscene accusations...and then the way they look at my womb with atrocious intentions.

Shivaay sighing appearing to catch on to the fact that I was getting annoyed at the moment. He appeared to roll his eyes before reaching for his laptop bag and grabbing it ready to take me off to somewhere. "Oh please, don't show me this attitude. Huh? You took part in this as well...I am not the one who decided to have twins!" I exclaimed pulling on his hand harshly as he immediately looked back towards me appearing taken aback by the fragile thread of anger that had snapped within me.

My heart beginning to pound loudly feeling a bout of uneasiness upon having a tinge of reality seep in remembering how soon these two were going to grow and then one day would need to breathe and that day I would be in labor...My eyes widening remembering the pain...that cruel, splintering pain that would crawl from my womb up to my heart not allowing me to breathe...threatening to not only suffocate my soul...threatening the innocent, precious lives I would hold...What if I would fail? What if something would happen to both of them? The thought making my hands tremble as I felt waves of chills run through me making my body feel unusually hinged out of reality with a pale color shading upon it.

A soft touch brushing against my cheek making me flinch allowing me to trace the touch back to him whose eyes appeared to soften. "You ok?...Look, I understand...It's normal I read that woman feel anxious and a little more moody with twins...But don't worry I am here ok?" He appeared to gently walk upon the simmering temper I was holding on to at the moment not wanting to ignite it.

My gaze lowering as I felt my anxiety now running in loops breaching into my tempered emotions...as my fear...fear of losing them began to take hold of me remembering how I have to keep them cradled closely against me...wrapped under the layers of my flesh...ensuring nothing happens and they are able to see the light of the beauty that beholds in the world awaiting to welcome them...

Clasping my hand against my lips, I shook my head before letting my tears falter out of my eyes. "Shivaay...you don't know how it feels to have twins...to carry two children...ensuring they are safe...ensuring they are at peace...Oh my God...This is not good. This is not good....You know what? Why did you do this? Huh! This is all your fault!" I exclaimed hitting my hand against his shoulder lightly pushing him as his eyes widened appearing appalled by the accusation I had laid and how I had snapped without any reason or cause.

My tears becoming to wails as I slumped against the bookshelf next to me finding a bulge of frustration and fear ballooning itself inside of me now bursting one by one.

"My fault?! How can you even say this is all my fault?" The devil spoke not once caring about my tears, but only wanting to justify himself.

My eyebrows furrowing while I pouted, clenching my fists tightly, before looking at him finding that wicked phantom now coming to life since its ego was wounded by only a bit of anger compared to what he carried.

"It is your fault! Twins?! My gosh...now do you want me to dwell into the details of that night?" I spat as my hand immediately clasped against my lips realizing they had spoken a sin feeling heat rush up to my cheeks.

Memories of passion slowly erupting into the back of my mind as it began to hover remembering what had happened...at the beach...from dusk till dawn... The way we had forgotten complete sense of consequences...indulging in desire...dipping in the lakes of lust...entwining our bodies...laying our miseries...exchanging it with passion...slipping in erotic slumber...his phantomic kisses that bit and pecked each and every inch of my bare skin wanting to explore the flaws he hadn't seen for ages...The way I surrendered and laid my love upon him...thinking of it for lust...but realizing it was pure love that I wanted to voice through innocent gestures and moments of embrace...

My gaze lowering grabbing on to the bookshelf behind me tightening my grasp on it. Footsteps appearing to approach me one by one before closing the distance between the both of us. His mint cologne filling up my senses reminding me how I had whiffed it and intoxicated myself with it that night...A blush touching me as my hair fell over my face wanting to veil it.

A shadow touching me as I kept my silence, but trembled in shyness knowing what I had spoken. A supple touch wrapping around my waist making me catch sight of him finding an impish tease coming to life in his eyes before pulling me against his chest.

"Shivaay stop!" I exclaimed with a giggle escaping from my lips finding his fingers trailing at the edges of my waist arousing a tickle out of me. My hands pushing against his chest as he gave me that wicked smile...that he knew would allure me like it always did.

His lips leaning against my ear while I struggled in his grip, though enjoying the moment as it brought a thrill of excitement. "Anika...thank you for reminding me. I forgot...didn't I?" He spoke in a lowered, husky voice as I smiled shyly lowering my head before burying it against his neck.

His hand wrapping tightly around my back before pulling me closer while I laid my head against his shoulder. "You're right...it is my fault..." He whispered as I bit my lip knowing I had been nonsensical in the wave of emotions that the twins seemingly had carried upon me, but somehow liking the play of words remembering the night...

His arms wrapping around me pulling me into his heart making me tremble, feeling his lips lay a soft kiss at the corner of my ear. "Well...it is a mistake I would love to repeat...soon," His tender lines enticing me as my fingers began to rotate in circles around his heart knowing that always teased him...seemingly accepting the invitation knowing one day I was going to take it...if we will be together for a lifetime...I don't think this tension would stop here.

A small groan slipping from him while I bit into a giggle knowing he might be getting turned on in the moment. A small gesture from me seemingly does that to him...My fingers halting as I shrieked, feeling his hand taking a strong grasp of them before his thumb appeared to rub tenderly into the palm of my hand. My head lifting up finding his lips lingering against my fate which he observed keenly with a smile touching his lips.

"Now...I know why you hid my name...so I could spend all night searching for it...pretty smart..." Shivaay whispered making a laugh escape from me endearing me with the fact that indeed that might have been my intention.

His blue hues meeting mine as they locked me into the love that they carried...a peculiar sight not seen before...as those eyes appeared to always carry a dark being...a being that made him commit many sins...many vices...a being that consumed his mania not allowing his humanity to surface...and today that being is not seen...it is present that I know seen in the darker shades of his eyes, but what I see today...is another being...a being that lornes for love...a being that wants to be mended...a being that wants to change and reshape his core values to that of his lover...a being that wants to paint himself with love...and only love.

He smiled as he held on to my palm tightly as if letting go would forever distance us. "Tomorrow...we will fall under a night...under vows...that would allow us to be one...a night in which under the divine moon...we would be allowed to lay and mend our love...a love that has been wounded...that has suffered many nights in the grave...a love that wants to be resurrected...and I too want to breathe life into it...but Anika...I will wait...wait for you...To see you smile and find bliss in my presence...to cherish the small words I speak...to find comfort even in a piece of solace I can offer...then that is enough for me...I remember what you said that night Anika...I will repent...I will repent and if it takes me a lifetime to repent then I will do it...and I hope one day you will have that strength to accept me..." And without another utterance, he gently cherished my palm with a kiss, letting it know that he shall may forever treasure me and the fate I carry.

Tears slipping down my cheeks as his words fell upon my heart rifting into my love that laid with bare breaths...appearing to further strengthen it...letting it know that one day it shall come to life...a life that would cradle it's lover's heart in its embrace.

Shivaay sighing as he took a deep breath before running his fingers through my hair fixing it as he laid it delicately on my coat before plastering a smile...a painful smile that he forced it upon his lips...appearing to suppress tears before entwining his hand into mine.

"Acha, can we just please go now? I cannot wait to show you the surprise I have..." Shivaay noted with excitement as he looked away attempting to pull his tears back before placing his laptop bag on his shoulder and leading me down towards the door.

Silence touching me as I obeyed not once resisting....finding myself in a daze from the words he had spoken.

He will wait for me...He will wait for me to accept him...A smile brimming me as I looked towards him finding an unusual change in his demeanor while he appeared to walk besides me not a step ahead nor behind, but right next to mine ensuring he would always be by my side.

His eyes reflecting a sense of respect...appreciation for me something not found ages ago even when we were in the grasps of passionate love in our marriage. His will to respect me as his wife...by allowing me a right to choose him and accept him...to allow him to even touch to...to even lay a finger upon me...allows me to feel human...something no one has acknowledged...not even my own family.

How can a man, who once held his head high while sitting on a throne battered with apparitions that heinously commanded him to impose despotism not once flinching upon the atrocities he would commit, suddenly dive to the ground willing to even consume its grains of savagery? Is he really doing this to win my heart?...Is he willing to forgo his demons and embrace humanity for me?

A small smile touching my lips as he opened the door leading me out to the office finding eyes peering towards us... finding interest in the mysteries we both carried and nurtured amongst the both of us...Of course we are a mystery...it is a mystery how we both have somehow now knocked on the door of marriage again despite going to the grave to bury it ages ago.

A signage of respect found in their eyes as his employees threw a friendly smile towards us pleasantly greeting us. "Have a good evening Mr. and Mrs. Oberoi," The receptionist chimed while Shivaay smiled and nodded before looking towards me as a sense of pride crossed him releasing how he had claimed a stake on me as his wife.

The elevator doors opening as we stepped in with Shivaay continuing to smile while I rolled my eyes to pretend that the reference didn't matter to me, but somewhere it did...I don't know. I mean by tradition a woman is claimed by her husband's name, but I don't find it right...It's a discussion Shivaay and I have had in the past where somewhere he did accept my argument, but seemingly we never dwelled into it considering no one knew about the both of us.

Should I voice my concern? I mean...I should perhaps. Taking a deep breath, I looked towards Shivaay who appeared to be in better spirits keeping the smile which he rarely did. "Um...Shivaay...wouldn't it be better if I am referred to as Dr. Malhotra? I mean I...shouldn't I be referred to with the name I have carried all my life and earned my education with? I think we...have talked about this before remember?" I spoke as Shivaay immediately looked towards me finding himself caught off guard from the question. His eyes darting back and forth trying to gauge on to my thought and ponder over it before looking away.

Confusion touching me as complete silence set in between the both of us while the elevator barely crawled its way down. Our hands still entwined into one another...either of us not once letting it go realizing perhaps it was just the both of us for each other...realizing no one else is here for us on this earth except each other.

Why didn't he respond? Is he going to just neglect my request or address it? It is a valid concern I have considering I think I do have a right to keep the name I was born with...a name that has been part of my identity for so many years...I mean a man never forsakes his identity, then why shall I?

As the elevator doors opened, Shivaay led me out to the first floor as we quickened our pace towards the front door when suddenly my phone began to ring. My hand immediately grabbing it from my coat's pocket before I looked at it realizing it was Thayya ji.

"Crap!" I exclaimed with fear touching me remembering how I could not go with Shivaay considering the issues that would come up at home. Already my family is suffering because my deeds and if they hear that the day before my wedding, I am willing to go with Shivaay then they would be highly upset.

"Who is it?" Shivaay questioned peering over my shoulder as we walked out to the front.

The call ending as I sighed before looking at Shivaay. "Thayya ji who else? Look, it's best we don't go out tonight. Whatever surprise or plan you have in mind, let's just push it back until the wedding ok? My family will not agree to this and you know it as well. I have already hurt them and I don't want to do anything anymore that would go against their values," I noted feeling frustrated as the phone began to ring again.

Shivaay clenching his jaw tightly before he snatched my phone out of my hand throwing a glare to the name upon it. He took a deep breath in an attempt to tame his temper, but failing as he looked towards me.

"This Thayya ji of yours'! He is getting on my nerves Anika and I am serious...in fact not only him, but your entire family, except your father, is getting to me...I am amazed how you came out from that family normally and not a manic like them!" He spat angrily making my mouth gape open feeling quite appalled and mildly offended by his words...Acha my family? What about his family?...I respect them which is why I won't bring such malice thoughts to my mind, but I could say a lot of things about them.

Crossing my arms, I tapped my foot loudly against the cement sidewalk beating my temper on it not wanting to stress myself further knowing it was not good for me. Shivaay heaving a large breath before picking up the call. My eyes widening as I grabbed on to his arm tugging on to it to pull the phone away from his ear worried what Thayya ji would say considering how conservative they are...knowing that a bride and groom met the night before the wedding is something they would be against...already they are speaking sin towards me and this would be the last straw that may just worsen everything.

Shivaay snatching his arm out of my grip as he smirked before wrapping his arm around my shoulder pulling me into his grasp. "Namaste, Thayya ji...Yes, this is Shivaay speaking...hm...Anika is here and yes she is absolutely fine..."

A curiosity lingering around me as I tilted my head trying to get closer to his ear and listen into the conversation, but failing too a he raised his head appearing to tease me. He let out a chuckle while listening on to the phone.

"Yes...the flight was good...As we discussed Anika will be home my midnight...I promise Thayya ji, she will be home by midnight and I will take good care of her...after all now she my responsibility...ok take care alright?...Give my greetings to others as well..." He spoke making me feel puzzled by the conversation.

Wait...Thayya ji and everyone else know where I am going? How is it possible that they didn't tell me and how is it possible they even agreed?

Confusion setting into me as Shivaay slipped my phone back into my coat's pocket sliding his hand against my waist letting it linger for a moment. My waist flinching immediately finding him giving me a playful look appearing to entice me. A group of employees walking past us as they appeared to look towards us trying to understand what exactly Shivaay was trying to do. A crimson shade touching my cheeks feeling uncomfortable in the idea of displaying affection in public.

"Shivaay...stop," I ordered glaring towards him grabbing a hold of his wrist him trying to push it out of my pocket as he chuckled before slipping his hand out and wrapping it around my waist pulling me into the warmth of his body.

"Shivaay...please don't. You know I don't like this affection in public," I spoke in a lowered voice while more employees walked past us looking back appearing to whisper a few words likely of the tabloid news we both had become recently.

"Acha...so...you are not offended by my touch, but just by others looking...hm...that is good for me to know," He spoke appearing to weave an idea in his mind as I raised my eyebrow trying to decode the underlying meaning of his statement, but failing to do such as he immediately let go of me walking towards his Porsche that the valet parked in front of us.

My eyes wandering into the night while I looked at my car parked across the parking lot contemplating if I should drive it. Shivaay opening the passenger door as he whistled towards me in a bold manner. A smile perking my lips feeling slightly impressed by his daringness, yet, innocent flirtation.

"What about my car and also how did my family agree?" I questioned curiously as Shivaay shrugged his shoulder before throwing his head back in the air.

"Arre, it is so cold out here and I am freezing at the moment, so can you get in Anika? I will explain myself alright? And also, please don't even dare to care about that junk car of yours'...who knows how long it will last?" He noted as my mouth gaped open before I immediately walked towards pushing him angrily feeling offended what he had just called me car considering how attached I was to it.

Shivaay letting out a snicker not once letting his anger fall short as he immediately pushed me into the car."Oh just get in Dr. Malhotra...enough attitude for the day," He spoke while I stumbled into the seat before placing my purse on my lap until I felt a tug upon it making me shriek to realize the thief was my husband himself.

Shivaay chewing on his lip bitterly as he tugged on my purse once again. "You and your purse! I still wonder what you put in that thing! So many years have passed yet your habit of being a hoarder has not gone...always hoarding and stuffing worthless things in your purse. You are pregnant for God's sake...Stop lifting such heavy things...The moment we get married tomorrow, I am throwing this purse out," He spat as I gasped completely appalled by his statement considering that is somewhat my lucky purse...as I have termed it... He slammed the door shut and walked to the trunk of the car throwing the purse carelessly into it.

The driver's door opening while I crossed my arms angrily looking towards him as he casually whistled not giving a care about what he said. "That was very offensive mind you! It's my purse...my life...I decide what I want and don't want...Do you even know that is my lucky purse?" I exclaimed putting on my seatbelt and instilling my anger upon it by pulling on to it roughly.

Shivaay pressing the gas hard as he made a swift turn before drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. "You and your obsession with labeling things as lucky and unlucky! This is one thing that annoys me about you...always crying over things and naming them as something that gives you good luck or bad luck...Do you know how nonsensical it sounds?!" He exclaimed riling me up with his words as I bit my tongue trying to keep calm knowing it was not good to indulge in my temper considering the twins.

A loud sound catching my attention as he slammed his hand against the steering wheel before hitting the gas and entering the highway. His resentment now appearing to crawl into his eyes that darkened appearing to suppress the soft nature he adopted for a momentary time.

"I mean in this modern age who believes in these kind of things? Huh? This habit of yours' has turned you into a hoarder! Remember how you kept the broken couch in our living room for five months saying it gave you good luck for your finals for medical school and you had to study only on that couch to do well?!" He exclaimed making me lowere my gaze immediately remembering how nonsensical it sounds now when he is speaking of it....

Ok, I agree I did that and yes it sounds foolish, but honestly that couch gave me good luck...whenever I studied on it, I would do well and when I wouldn't...I would not really do well. A cringy feeling touching me realizing the small manic that lived inside of me tempting me to indulge in fool's play.

Wait Anika...don't bite into the dust. He is right, but don't you dare give into this argument. These are the determining days for your marriage...do you want to return to that marriage where he would always win the argument?...No right?...You have to win this time...the devil on my shoulder spoke as I shook my head listening to its command.

My eyes moving towards him as he plastered a smirk in a delusion he had won the argument.

Cracking my knuckles, I smiled looking ahead towards dusk that now was falling on to the empty highway with night ready to cover us. "Acha nonsensical? Me? Do you know this purse has given me so much luck?! I miraculously did quite well on my clinical rotations in medical school despite struggling in my courses...and then I also did well on my boards and got the residency of my choice...and then you know what? Today I also got promoted as chief resident due to this purse!" I exclaimed as suddenly the brakes screeched loudly making my hands fly against my chest fearing we were about to get into an accident.

Shivaay's head flying up as he immediately looked back appearing stunned by my words before looking back towards the road. A smile suddenly touching him before releasing a small laugh making me bewildered upon how his shade changed in an instant from pure wicked, anger to a moment of happiness...what is this man? I question.

A light touch brushing against my hand as I looked down finding his fingers intending to sneak into the palm of my hand while I attempted to pull it back feeling upset by how he had spoken to me...yet knowing somewhere he was being logical.

"Oh please...now don't try to be charming ok?" I spoke finding a hint of my hormones in the works behind the way I was speaking...I have never spoken like this for years actually...It's been years I have found this type of tongue gracing me considering it had locked itself shut since...since the divorce.

Shivaay letting out a chuckle as he enveloped his hand into mine. "Anika...I..."

My jaw clenching tightly not able to bear the fact how he was not being serious at the moment, but continuing to laugh upon me. Hmm...so he will laugh at me...Of course he will, well I will teach him a lesson his own way.

"No...no, you go nah? Speak more...please...You haven't spoken at all...Speak more. No please do, I would love to listen to your grievances since I am already feeling quite pleasant. I mean right now, I am definitely not feeling nauseous, my feet are definitely not in pain and swollen up, and of course...I am definitely not feeling sleepy since I have slept a lot...I mean sleeping for three hours is a lot right especially to be awoken to vomiting and more vomiting...to point that if you eat even a bite of a bagel, you will throw up! So indeed, I am quite pleasant!" My temper finally snapping, bubbling and boiling itself out of my mouth in a clutter of words revealing my frustration that I had been bottling for the last week considering he decided to abandon me and take off to a business trip not once thinking how I was going to do everything on my own.

His hand entwining into mine as my lips began to quiver feeling tears well up in my eyes not even knowing why they had decided to appear.

My palm cusping my cheek while I sighed looking out the window into the dark night wanting to submerge in it. Memories of the past week suddenly cracking through the surface of my mind reminding me what had happened...My father's heart attack and then his discharge from the hospital...my constant fear that something might happen to him...fear that if I go in front of his eyes he may just collapse and forever lay in the bed of death not able to bear the sight of his grandchildren that are illegitimate at the moment...not able to bear her daughter's presence seeing her as a rotted filth...

And then of course the twins...the twins have not been feeling well...well actually the twins are fine, but I am not feeling well...It's not their fault...of course it is not...It's this damned body's fault that cannot adjust to the new life it has to bear...And now look at him, Shivaay, he decided to take off without once caring how I would be on my own.

"You don't know how it feels...Do you know how I have lived in the past week?... I was all on my own Shivaay...I mean...My father just came back from the hospital and I was worried sick something might happen to him again...and then the morning sickness and mood swings...and then you! How could you just leave suddenly? You called me the next day after that night in the hospital and told me that you have to leave for a business trip? I mean how insensitive!" I exclaimed loudly finding a bitter conflict between vulnerability that lurked out of my heart and my temper that was snapping as a vicious snake from the dark caves of my soul.

His thumb lightly beginning to rub my hand to soothen my conflict as I began to cry shaking my head back and forth clasping it into the palm of my hand... letting my tears soak my cheeks before allowing them to laze around my lips and crawl down my neck.

"Acha...jaanam be happy now? You got promoted today and that is great news! Stop crying now hm? I don't like to see you like this..." He spoke softly in an attempt to lure me back into the cave of demure I always lived in...

My eyes forming a glare as I looked towards him who continued to drive appearing as if what I said was nothing and taking it as a moment of tantrum by me...

"Oh ho! Jaanam! Wah...do you think you are Ghalib by writing some poetic lines and texting them to me? Do you really think you would charm me by those poems hm?" I questioned before halting my words realizing I may have just gone too far...

What have I just said? I shouldn't have said such considering he probably took a lot of thought to write those sweet nothings for me...those lines that expressed the surface of his love for me...lines that reflected the inner admiration he may hold for me that he fails to express in front of me...No man writes poems these days...and considering he might have been busy he still wrote it for me...My heart appearing to sink feeling uneasy upon the thought how I had insulted him.

Shivaay's lips appeared to twitch up hearing my lines as I lowered my gaze knowing I likely had stepped on the tail of the shy devil he kept in the back of his eyes who was always on the prowl to lurk out any minute whenever his owner would be judged.

But, however...the devil may not have prowled this time as suddenly a laugh erupted from him. My eyes shooting up looking towards him who began to laugh like a manic...a traumatized manic perhaps. His eyes wildly lifting open as his mouth widened revealing his pearl white teeth that always snapped with rage, but today appearing to lift perhaps with amusement.

An uncomfortable chill running through me not yet able to determine whether I should join the laugh or fear that I was going to face an ill-timed wrath from him. My hand wrapping around the twins trying to cover their eyes from the manic their father might have just become.

Shivaay continuing to laugh while we pulled towards the toll plaza leading to the Bay Bridge hitting a stream of traffic along the way. San Francisco? Why are we going there and that to tonight? The curious cat inside of me thinking while it purred trying to contemplate and come up with possible ideas.

A tightening pressure appeared to merge upon my fingertips to take hold of my wandering thoughts. My gaze lifting up meeting his eyes that appeared to be drowned with an unusual ecstasy...not the poison that he frequently indulged in...but an ecstasy that appeared to seed from within him...an ecstasy borne from love perhaps...A soft smile appearing across his lips before he led my fingertips to them. A delicate heat burning upon them making it unbearable as they recoiled wanting to escape, but failing as they were sealed by the tender touch of his lips as they placed a fragile kiss upon them.

His blue hues, glistening even in the darkness of the night, as they captured me wanting me to dive into them and search for my love that I could find in the depths they held. "And this is why I love you...You are the only one who can make even a broken man smile...You are the only one who can lift me out of my darkness when I need it the most Anika...I love you..." His lips appearing to quiver biting into them appearing to hold on to a moment of vulnerability that he allowed to escape unintendedly.

A drop in my heartbeat occurring as it caught hold of his vulnerability not able to bear it considering it was a sight it had not seen before...a sight that appeared to never crease in the strength and command of the demons he carried within him.

The fragile love, I carried within me, appearing to tremble and wrangle into itself unable to conquer upon the thought that he was...he is broken. A man like him who stands in front of a masochistic being, who hold perversion,...often at times standing as a barrier between them and I...becoming my voice, despite being the one to hurt me,...to see him reveal his wound...that still lays fresh full of dark shells...is unbearable for me.

Perhaps, God is right in saying...everyone deserves to be loved...everyone wants love...even creatures that have become a victim to dark, malicious apparitions and creatures that haunt the undertones of the soul.

Our car standing still gridlocked amongst others while Shivaay weakly smiled continuing to rub the edges of my hand within his trying to lift the turmoil I was at in the moment...sadness, anger, and even happiness all mixing and becoming a bitter poison not allowing me to decide which mask I should wear.

My gaze lifting towards Shivaay finding his blue hues slowing turning towards me reflecting sheer gaiety before he revealed a smile. "I am proud of you Anika...I am so proud that you got promoted today. You deserved this position and congratulations Dr. Malhotra...I hope you do so well that people know me as your husband not that you are my wife," He spoke with a set of bittersweet tears touched me...perhaps realizing he was the first one who actually acknowledged my achievement with such pure happiness...

My hand clasping against my lips feeling suffocation in the sudden change he had taken upon himself...though remembering the smallest, sweet moments we shared when I would do well in medical school. He would always be there to encourage me and somehow at this moment in my life, he is is still here...for me. If only things would've stayed like this...Gosh, I don't know why I want this moment to stay...I want to stay like this with him...to forget everything including the ways he hurt me...because this damned heart loves him and that's all I want to do.

Shivaay smiling as he brought my hand to his lips making me shiver before laying another kiss upon it in an instant laying a balm upon my bittersweet wound.

His eyes touching me once again as he looked at me. "I will be happy and proud of you to carry your name...If you want to be called Dr. Malhotra that I accept because you deserve to have your own identity...Your name is engraved upon my heart and I know my name lays upon your heart...and that is enough for me..." His words lifting my pride in an instant making me feel a tinge of shock realizing what he had done...how without any anger, any ego, any male pride...he allowed me to have my identity...A gentle smile touching me as I looked at him who smiled before hitting the gas and passing through the toll plaza driving into the emptying traffic that was moving.

My eyes grazing over his features...trying to search for a possible hurt ego or pride, but not finding it as genuine joy appeared to touch his eyes where I found hints of love...love perhaps for me. Is he truly painting himself with the shades, rules, and commandments of love?...Is he really changing for me?...Why?...This man never changes for anyone...never and yet he is for me?...Is he really marrying me because he loves me and not just for the children?

A teasing smile touching him as we made our way heading to the bridge. "Waise...in the bedroom, I will always call your Mrs. Oberoi," He spoke in a husky voice making my eyes widen before gasping completely caught off guard from the dirty joke he made.

My cheeks turning an instant shade of red setting themselves on fire in an attempt to make me disappear not being able to even delve into that thought...or even moment when such would happen...a moment when we would be so close...intoxicated with the thought of having one another...that we would forget ourselves...forget who we are...what animosities we carry towards one another...only to be lost in the desire...the passion...the sensuality of our love that would enchant our senses allowing us to make love.

Shivaay letting out a chuckle while he continued to drive letting silence touch the both of us. My eyes tracing the edges of the ocean that laid under the dark night that was now beginning to lay its shawl of comfort upon it. The moon beginning to peak its way through the darkness laying its veil of light upon the ocean. A small smile touching my lips while I looked up at the web of white falling upon us lighting up our darkness as we passed through the webbed, triangular canes of the bridge that fell above us.

Peace...that is what is touching me in this moment...A peace I have been looking and begging for years, but not finding it until this moment...This moment of being with him...I shouldn't be feeling this way...I shouldn't be finding bliss...solace...and even love in the man who has hurt me the most...the one who had led each and every being to question my existence, my honor, and my pride...I shouldn't find love in a man who has laid marbles of betrayal upon a once lively trust I had in virginal love I cherished...

I shouldn't find love in a man who has many demons...But yet I love him...A part of me still loves him...not the one in which it completely sublimed into it nor the one in which it has completely fallen apart...it's a love that is unexplainable...unfathomable...but still lives and breathes on its own within me not willing to crash or rise, but just simmer.

My eyes slowly closing shut while I let the thought weave itself into a dream within me...a hope that one day...one day Shivaay takes the hand of humanity...follows the path of God of being a better being...a better man that I know he can be...a man whom I will not be ashamed of loving, but proud...proud that I fell in love with a man like him.

Shivaay's Point of View

I hope one day I can change to a point that she can openly love me...that she will not find shame in loving a man like me...I know she is struggling at the moment...struggling to come in terms with the fact that she still loves me...despite everything I have done...despite how I have treated her as her husband and then now...as her lover.

A heavy, dark, murk appearing to crawl on upon my heart and laying its roots in it as I took a deep breath finding not able to breathe in her presence knowing I was her culprit. How can a woman like her continue to love a man like me?...I don't understand. I cannot come into terms with her continuing to love me despite how I am the reason to pull her roots from the opulent fabric of honor and dignity that laid upon her...gifted by society...which I in an instant severed with my own hands that were consumed with a malicious being...How can she continue to love me despite how I am the reason to slit her trust from love?...She loves me yet doesn't trust the idea of loving...

It will take a lot of strength in me to love you again...Her words from that fateful night repeating within me as they have done each and every moment since they were spoken.

A dull, but blunt pain scattering upon my love that was fragile to death at the moment. A death that could happen any moment if it is deprived from even the mere artifact of love...from the mere sight of his lover. The thought of her not loving me...not once in our lifetime...appearing to pierce its pellet of wrath into a fragile, molded, murky love I held...a love that was ugly just like the creature who was boring it...me. I know my love is not pure...it is smoldered with red blooded sins from the past in which I betrayed her....in which I took her child from her...in which I stole her entire life from her...her precious life...a life she sacrificed even herself to build...a family that she built with her own hands...with her love...with her innocence and naivity...not once aware of the evil brutes that conspired around her...including me who was caught amongst them...

Flashback

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

My gaze dragging itself across the aisle of vibrant shades in an attempt to find one that would do some justice...even a piece of it...to the woman standing in front of me. An innocent smile touching her lips as she ran her hands through the layers of velvet and silk searching for a treasure that would suit her simplicity...a simplicity that gave her beauty which I haven't ever seen.

Her silver bangles lazily chiming their tunes while she grazed her hands against the opulent creases, upon which many faltered, to find one that would catch my sight...A smile touching my lips as I looked towards her. Her hand wrapped around the innocent bundle of life who appeared to giggle finding herself charmed by the colors in front of her.

"Hm...these are nice, but I want a shade of red...you know a darker shade, not a bright one, but a darker more subtle one?" Anika spoke politely in a low voice while I bit into a laugh able to tell she was losing patience, but attempting to keep her composure. The level of patience she has amazes me...She has a temper which I have bore the brute of, but the way she attempts to tame it amongst others does impress me.

Anika sighing as she looked at the bubbling life in her lap before smiling finding her temper shutting itself away by the little ones' silly antics. "Oh silly, what are you doing? These sarees are too big for you! Hm...?" Anika cooed at Chaaya attempting to tug a saree's cloth away from her small hand that had captured it.

A chuckle slipping from me as I leaned closer to Anika who appeared to flinch from my touch...something she did frequently with a blush touching her...It awes me at times how despite being married to me for a year, I could still have an unusual affect upon her...even the fact she is the mother of our daughter...She still holds this demure which is something that stuns me, but also weaves the small threads of my heart...

"Waise...I think she is trying to help you...She found out that her mamma is very stingy and undecisive when it comes to clothes...no actually everything," I teased realizing how Anika had become a big time hoarder lately...not once throwing anything out and storing it without any end to it...and also the fact she refuses to buy anything that is not on sale...an issue we both are arguing and dealing with lately.

Anika's eyebrows furrowing as she immediately looked towards me ready to shoot daggers before looking at Chaaya who continued to babble. Her hands immediately covering her ears, which she frequently did before indulging in a small argument with me, fearing our daughter would get a demonic influence that we both carried and perhaps merge herself into it.

"Oh really?...Hm...my Chaaya will be just like her mamma....Sensible when it comes to valuing and spending money. She won't be like her father who throws money as if it is just a piece of paper...without any value to it. She won't be buying useless things like you mind you," She spat as I bit into smile knowing I had riled up her temper which she has been working hard to bury for a while and succeeded in it as well...but I don't like it.

I like this side of hers...that at times comes out and takes control of not only her, but also me...by commanding me, ordering me, and even taming me with its blunt authority. It's nice to have a healthy competition once in a while...I quite enjoy it, but this is a secret I have kept.

"Acha useless things?" I spoke trying to maintain a stern look to hide that I was actually enjoying the tease. Anika biting her lip beginning to chew on to barely holding on to her thoughts. She looked at the vendor impatiently before grabbing her purse and getting up clearly walking on the last edge of her anger.

"Um...we will come tomorrow ok? Thank you for your help," She spoke barely holding on as she got up quickly pacing down towards the entrance not once looking back at me and taking her trail of anger with her and our daughter who continued to babble before smiling towards me teasing me how I had made her mother angry.

Letting out a small chuckle, I immediately got up pacing my way after her who quickened her trance to the entrance. My hand immediately grabbing on to her arm forcing her to stop as she looked straight ahead in an attempt to avoid further tempting her temper.

"I was joking Anika...I was just teasing you ok?" I spoke trying to lower my tone and crease out her anger in which she was simmering. Her lips pursing together while she looked at Chaaya who tugged on her mangalsutra before looking towards me with a smile hinting to her mother to listen to me.

Anika sighed as she looked at her before gently laying a kiss upon her forehead. "Chaaya...meri jaan, don't think your Papa is innocent ok? You don't know how he is..." She spoke making a smirk cross my lips before wrapping my hand around her waist pulling her towards me. Her eyes widening appearing quite taken aback from the sudden move.

"Shivaay! Stop it!" She exclaimed as I chuckled enjoying the fact I was teasing her.

"You're right...I am not that innocent...Of course you would know," I whispered leaning against her ear ensuring she would hear. A rush of heat touching her cheeks knowing what I was implying at the moment...A smile touching my lips looking towards her realizing I may have just won the argument.

A small smile appearing upon her which she attempted to hide, but failed utterly at it. Her arms wrapping around Chaaya placing her hand upon her ear trying to hide the details of our conversation. "Have some shame no?...You are a father of a child and still acting as a teenager." I let out a small laugh before opening the door to the shop and leading her out.

My hand taking hold of her waist again making her squirm under my touch attempting to shrug my hand off, but failing. A sense of thrill touching me knowing she was equally enjoying the tease found in the smile that lingered her lips...a small bit of seduction can reel her in...that is something I have learned...

Clearing my throat, I grabbed her attention as she looked towards me waiting for me to speak. "What shame? Chaaya wants a baby sister to play with and...I was just trying to get some time...for us...to..." My voice leaving a trail of hints which made Anika's mouth slightly gape open appearing stunned by the open invitation I had given to her.

Chaaya beginning to babble loudly as I chuckled looking at her before looking back at Anika who was beginning to reveal many shades of red finding herself overwhelmed with the thought of it.

"W-What?" Her voice barely cracking as I shrugged my shoulders before looking towards Chaaya knowing she deserved a brother or sister...It is something I have on my mind and want to pursue knowing Anika also wants to as well.

Our driver honking towards us from across the road as I grabbed Anika's hand beginning to lead her towards the car.

I don't know why, but it seems right. It seems right to build a family with Anika knowing that now I do want to stay in this relationship...knowing our relationship is meant to be considering we have been now blessed with a daughter...fate wants us to be together for her sake and I am willing to give this a try...because...because somewhere...somewhere Anika has gotten to me...I do find an attraction for her...

I don't know if it is love, but somewhere I do find myself appreciating her traits...her pride...her character...the fact she is a great mother...and even a great wife...She can build my family. She is different from the women who were part of my family...She is intelligent and yet simple and elegant...I want my Chaaya to have both of us as a family and it feels reasonable to be with Anika for such...more than that...I know a man like me is not capable of loving someone, so wouldn't it be best that I stay with Anika...a woman who actually loves me...I don't know what love is, but I do know that now I am at a point that I cannot let go of Anika...She has grown on to me...My whole life appears to depend and revolve around her...and seemingly these moments...these moments of innocent flirtation to moments of passion are something that I have come to cherish...And seemingly the three letter words do slip out of me...unknowingly as if they are speaking something I have buried within me...I don't know why they escape from me, but they always do especially when I feel loved by her...when I know she is forsaking herself and completely surrendering to me...are moments when I know her love for me has completely consumed her...and it scares me to know how much I have threaded her into the bond of love...but then now I know the least I can do is to treasure her presence and spend my life with her...for the sake of being loved by her and the sake of my daughter having her as her mother...who can give her the values and the upbringing that my family never could give to me.

"Well...as I said we finally have some time for ourselves in Jaipur after a long week of meetings, so why not?...Right? I was just trying to tease you and kind of...set up the right atmosphere..." I whispered to her while Anika bit into a smile before looking at Chaaya who appeared to hold both of our hearts in the palm of her tiny hands...attracting our attention and charming us with it.

"Hm...well...I think you succeeded perhaps..." Anika spoke lowering her gaze pulling a veil of demure upon her. A smile touching my lips as we made our way to the car realizing indeed where we were going to be leading this evening to. An evening in which we both would give into our vulnerabilities...where she would love me...and allow me to embrace her presence and cherish the love she holds for me...a moment in which we both would lose ourselves...our animosities...our fears...our flaws to only appreciate our vows and fulfill one another's emptiness...

And then suddenly a large bewitching force hit us...A scream erupting from Anika as I immediately turned around seeing our reckoning dressed in black...in the disguise of fate...His face concealed with marks of death as he looked at my daughter...my life ready to take her.

My eyes widening as my feet lifted up without a thought reaching out towards his hands that began to snatch the innocent life out of her mother's arms...Loud screams erupting as Chaaya shrieked loudly grabbing a hold on to her mother's mangalsutra begging to stay...begging to hold on to her mother's heart...her mother's bosom, but failing...failing as he snatched her away and began to run.

"Chaaya! Chaaya!" Anika's screams beginning to erupt loudly before tending to lose her breaths...knowing her life was now beginning to part itself from her...My mind going blank as I began to run...run without an end behind the thief who looted my life...my family...and my love all in a moment...

My heart beginning to ache as fear suddenly set in realizing it was about to a lose a part of it to a stranger...a stranger that now was taking her away from it...My daughter...The promise beginning to run in my mind...The promise I made to Anika to protect her and keep her safe...threatening to lose its ground as I continued to run to run after a life...a life that I finally had gotten...a life full of bliss and happiness...that now was slipping away...on the verge of falling apart.

Flashback Ends

And that is when everything changed...When life decided to snatch the last bit of happiness...I had gotten...a happiness that never touched me...ever...something that was not experienced...not touched...not felt even at moments when it felt I had each and every symbol of power and reign laying on the palm of my hand...

Anika taught me that even if you may carry and posses each and every symbol of success...that society deems to give you bliss...you still will have that empty and hallow part of you...part of your inner being...part of your psyche...part of your heart that can only be filled by grains of love...grains that are small and fragile, but that once taken and consumed could give you a peak of peace and solace that even gems of prestige cannot give.

I am sorry Anika...this is not how I wanted to end us. End our love...end our journey to love...end our journey to building our family...I had dreams and hopes that I was beginning to build under the shade of the divine knowing He would accept them and breathe life into them...but I was naïve...I failed to acknowledge that cruel fate was at play who at that moment was not accepting of us...perhaps because of my own deeds...since I based our marriage on a lie...a lie that I loved you...but it would be wrong say that that lie did not mold itself into an underlying truth...a truth that was not visible in the realms of my mind, but present in the mehfil of my heart where my love secretly sung its tunes.

Anika....you were precious to me and so was Chaaya...I realized your worth the moment I left you and it hurts me...hurts to even remember how I brutally threw you out of my life...

You didn't deserve this Anika...You didn't deserve what I did...You do not even know how I gathered bits of strength to layer it upon my flesh...disguise my eyes...disguise my thoughts and replace it with the heinous creature I had almost locked shut and buried within the grave that existed within me...

You do not know how my soul trembled...and how it screamed as if it was burning on ashes when letting you go...letting you walk away...from me....from us...You do not know how I collapsed against that door when I shut you out of it and laid my tears on the floor where you laid on the other side...You do not know how I smothered myself with your memories...despite resisting the thought I may have just fallen in love with you...And I did everything...everything to bury my love I held for you...knowing love would weaken me...weaken the man I am and the father I am...

I did everything to bury my love in the grave, but couldn't as it resurrected the moment I saw you...and now thankfully...thankfully fate and divine have decided to give me a chance...give me a chance to love you and now I will do everything to love you...and do everything to claim your love...Everything...

I will build our family...I will build our marriage...and I will build our love...

My lips beginning to quiver as I bit into them wanting to hold my tears, but failing allowing them to escape from that murk of memories...memories I wanted to outright incinerate...but could not...holding them to remind me how I layered chars of coal upon your love inciting its slow poisonous death...which now I am attempting to save...to hold on to...

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Lifting my gaze, I let it fall upon her who laid in peace...The moonlight scattering across her lips as they trembled not wanting to even be awakened from the solace their held...Her eyes closed shut not once wavering to the grace of the divine as they held her truth...knowing she was innocent...deprived of phantoms that only creatures like I held.

Her breaths lingering and falling as they breathed their beats into the two lives she held within her that she cradled with her hand upon them...Tears touching my eyes as I looked at her womb...realizing I was not only her culprit, but theirs as well...What I did years ago is nothing compared to what I have done now...how I have dared to not only dishonor the woman I loved, but also my own blood...innocence that held a part of me...And look at her...despite what I have done to her...she still allows me to love her...she allows herself to give me a small chance...to give me a moment... she allows herself to laugh in my presence...she allows herself to carry my children, who might just be like me...who might be like their father....she allows herself to be loved by me.

The worst feeling, which is dour than having a broken heart, is to be continued to be loved by someone you have hurt the most...to be loved by a woman who doesn't even know how to hate, but only love...no matter how much one is cruel to her, she doesn't let go...she doesn't walk away from them...instead she stays to mend them and love them...It takes strength to be able to love even those who hate...and to see her to be able to do such makes me realize how my love is nothing compared to the one she has...if I am able to love her a bit the way she loves me and others...then that would fulfill the grains of emptiness I carry.

Sighing, I laid my head against the seat staring into the still night not saying a word wanting to surrender to the peace it offered for a moment.

I love you Anika...I truly do...and now I will change...I will do everything to change and be the husband you deserve...Even if I have to lay and surrender to you then I will do such...even if I have diminish my own pride to build yours' I will do such...I will do everything to bury my demons and embrace that tinge of humanity I carry...I promise Anika...I promise.

A light touch brushing against my hand awakening me from thoughts as I lowered my gaze finding her hands entwining into mine stealthily appearing to test if I would accept them to grace my fate lines. A small smile touching my lips while I looked towards her finding her eyes slowly opening before meeting mine. Her simplicity laying in elegance upon her as the ocean waves riled behind her wanting to touch her, but failing as barriers laid...The moon blessing her chastity that she unknowingly wore as an ornament. My heart beginning to increase its beats finding itself captivated by her sheer beauty that she carried unaware of it. Without speaking another word, my finger traced the edges of her face finding themselves entangling in the waves of her hair wanting to pull them away.

Her lips quivering as she appeared to blush from the slightest touch of my finger realizing she was the centre of admiration at the moment. She appeared to contemplate upon a thought before letting it touch the weak smile on her lips.

"Shivaay...I...I am sorry for what I spoke earlier...I don't know what got into me...Your poems...they...they truly spoke the tunes of your heart...and somewhere they did touch me..." She whispered the last line making my heart skip a beat realizing she indeed read each and every one of them...read my thoughts...my love...Of course she wouldn't respond...why would she after what I did?...But to know that those sweet nothings that blew from my heart on to her wounds...appearing to mend them even the slightest...is enough to give me gratitude.

Perhaps, she will be mended...she will be alive...she will be loved...and hopefully by me...and the love that now I carry.

Anika's Point of View

I laid in silence continuing to look at him with anticipation hoping he would forgive me considering how I had spoken to him...What have I done? He was being kind and caring...a rarity to be honest and here I am disrespecting him. For the first time, he has opened the gates to his heart to reveal deeper sounds of his love and I spoke in a manner that would perhaps shut him out once again...entice fear in him that he will be judged if he opens he wounds and shows them to me.

A sense of uneasiness touching me not able to bear the idea how I ruined tonight for us...I don't even know why I am giving so much value to this moment, but somewhere I want to and it is wrong right? It is wrong to give attention to the very man who broke me, but then...what else am I supposed to do? He is the father of my children and believe it or not...he is going to vow to me tomorrow...vow to be my husband...and I have to accept this truth...and move forward...for the sake of our children and giving them the family they need.

Shivaay sighing as he slipped the palm of his hand against the nape of neck capturing my gaze wanting me to listen to his words. "Please do not apologize Anika...It will make me feel worse and probably more unbearable for me to even...to even breathe perhaps..." He spoke in a lowered tone with tears glistening in his eyes...his tears that somehow pinned themselves against my heart allowing to me to feel that unusual dark, murky shame that he appeared to carry in his eyes.

"Shivaay...please...please don't talk in this way..." My hand wrapping around his tightly in an attempt to lift his spirit that appeared to catch the cloak of dysphoria. Shivaay biting his lip while he took a deep breath in an attempt to mask his tears before looking out the window.

"Um...come on let's get you something to eat and some fresh air also hm?" He spoke opening the car's door as I immediately looked back feeling a little surprised realizing where we were. Seemingly, I had drifted to quite a deep sleep to a point that now when I woke up I failed to realize we had reached our destination.

Pier 39. The withered, pale white sign announced with pride as it towered tall above in the night sky. Curiosity touching me as Shivaay opened the door for me before plastering a smile across his lips. His hand appearing holding it out for me. My eyes lifting up looking into his eyes where his smile failed to reach...pain clearly etching itself into them where he appeared to be hurting...and burning with wounds. Knowing he needed me in this moment...despite hesitating to even request knowing what he had done to me...I still gave in as I grasped on to his fingertips allowing him to take command.

My eyes falling on to the ocean that reflected a shade of rich charred black before molding into a midnight blue as the moonlight graced over it in silence. The waves minimally crashing against the wooden docks that made their way towards the bay molding with it. A smile touching me feeling the breeze lay its fingers upon us...comforting us as it wrapped around the both of us.

Our feet lightly hitting the small cement pathway that ran along the wooden docks. My hand tracing the edges of his fingers implying him to entwine into the gaps of my hand, but failing as he walked in silence appearing to be in a state of trance failing to acknowledge the presence of time.

Sighing, I looked at him realizing how somehow I couldn't bear him seeing like this...as I was used to seeing him indulging in wickedness, seduction, and even ill humor mixed with moments of humanity he portrayed out of nowhere without any warning...That is the Shivaay for which my heart beats for...That is the Shivaay I fell in love with...and still...love.

"Hmm...you sent me poems each day, but not today...may I ask why?" I questioned breaking the silence finding Shivaay pause himself caught with the thought before looking towards me. Giving him a small smile, I took a step towards him barely brushing against his chest, but keeping the tension...allowing the heat of our bodies to press gently against one another... knowing it might just break him out of his shell.

Shivaay's gaze lowering as he realized what I was doing. A smile touching him while he rolled his eyes before looking towards the ocean waves that rippled gently under the night...reflecting his own tempered self that had come to life tonight.

My fingertips shrewdly slipping through his black coat before making their way up towards his white shirt as he appeared to take a deep breath becoming aware of the innocent persuasion I was dabbing into at the moment. "Waise...You have set the bar too high for yourself now Mr. Oberoi...I hope you do know what is expected of you after we...get married..." I spoke in a lowered tone keeping the playful game in my court...His eyes instantly shifting towards me appearing a little taken aback by my boldness...A giggle escaping from me not even myself knowing what I was doing, but seemingly enjoying the fact that I was able to run wild thoughts in his mind.

Not saying another word, I began to walk knowing he would come after me...and he did. His feet increasing their speed as I continued to giggle shaking my head before I felt a placid tug on my hand finding his hand immediately taking grasp of it. "W-What do you mean?" His voice stuttering not appearing to catch on to my words finding eagerness in him trying to decode my subtle lines.

Even I don't know what I meant...I mean...I felt a flutter within me remembering moments...moments when we would...I stopped the thought finding my cheeks turn a crimson red not being able to bear the mirage of kisses and bites, that escaped from memories and began to appear along my skin lighting up goosebumps.

My giggle pausing for a moment looking into his eyes trying to keep his gaze steady ensuring he would listen. "I think if you can speak or write poetic lines...then you can have a deeper understanding of what I am trying to say..." I whispered keeping the mystery in my voice wanting him to dive into it...despite the mystery being shallow.

Shivaay's eyes appearing to widen as he began to decode the words in his own way...his impish ways before he smirked pulling on to my hand forcing me to look into his eyes.

"Anika...Anika...stop doing what you used to do..." He noted while I bit into a smile realizing he caught on to me.

"You always used to churn the strings of my mind with curiosity whenever I was...I was slipping into...into unusual thoughts...or even losing myself...We both know you like to distract me in this way with shallow words that you don't even know the meaning to..." My gaze lowering realizing indeed he had caught hold of my intentions completely aware that I was trying to lighten his mood with something that always worked as a charm upon him...seduction.

"Shivaay stop!" My hand immediately hitting his shoulder finding the heat seeping through my coat and gently crawling up to my face realizing clearly what he was about to say.

Shivaay bursting into laughter as he threw me a wink. "Now...don't be shy. You are the one who initiated the conversation Anika...That inner Id laying within the dark ranges of your mind, where you bury your secret desires and need for pleasure, spoke...I mean such lines do not come out easily."

His words catching hold of me leading me into a wave of contemplation as I turned my eyes within me in an attempt to reflect upon the thought...Inner desire? My heart beginning to pound loudly with an unusual discomfort beginning to set in as my eyes began to find and grasp hold of the buried dune of pleasure...

My sight moving to Shivaay as that being within me...that dark being...found itself admiring his eyes that spoke love...his lips that laid tender kisses upon me...his body that held me in moments of vulnerability...My eyes not wanting to let go of him finding my heart beginning to swallow upon itself and feed into that unusual attraction that was coming to life again...an attraction to keep him in my sight and continue to admire him...admire each and every feature of his that I had never seen...and cherish his touch...treasure his words...I don't know why he makes me want to lose myself and consume him and each and every flaw he holds...despite how he has wronged me, I cannot for some reason slit this attraction for him and a need to have him...a need to lust upon him...

Shivaay holding on to that charming smile, which always seemingly made me lose track of time, as his hair flew against his forehead with the breeze barely stroking him knowing he deserved to be revered with dapper and suave he carried.

We began to walk in silence along the bay while Shivaay let out a chuckle. "But...you know...I like the idea...the challenge...I mean I will be your husband and as a husband I should do everything to make my wife happy and..."

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

A sudden loud chorus erupting behind of us making a smile erupt across my lips before looking back finding a band radiating and losing themselves in the ecstasy of music. Violins stringing the thread of love loudly with a piano beginning to hit the chords of a seamless passion now mixing and dancing with the tunes of hymns that were often sung in the mehfil of love. Giddiness lifting from my feet as glee began to run in waves in my body while I began to clap amongst the crowd that now was beginning to surround the band and fill their souls with the sound of music now increasing exhilaration amongst them.

My jubiliant eyes lifting towards Shivaay whose gaze appeared to reach stillness upon me...an unusual mesmerization found in them appearing to take in my smile that now was radiating with glow subtly scattering from the twins who also found delight in hearing the music. "What are you looking Mr. Oberoi?" I questioned wittingly giggling before continuing to clap for the band.

And suddenly a tight grasp stopped my claps making me look down finding his hand taking a firm grasp of it. Feeling puzzled, I looked at him not figuring why he had stopped me knowing how much I enjoyed listening to music.

A wide smile crossing his lips before he began to drag me towards the band while I looked at him confused trying to catch on to his trail of thoughts. My eyes falling to a crowd of people that were beginning to dance in front of the band and suddenly the thought hit me realizing what he was about to do.

"Oh Shivaay, no please!" I exclaimed feeling a bit shy before hearing a laugh slip from Shivaay as he immediately wrapped his arm around my waist pulling into his heart. My hand wrapping around his back as we began to sway back and forth before entwining our hands together...rubbing them...folding them and feeling the soft, tender touch of mine melting its heat into the cold, rough textured hand of his...that barely grasped on to happiness, but fully embraced that dark, aloof figure.

A shade of red flushing across my face finding the crowd of people looking towards us realizing they might be eyeing the both of us. My eyes immediately drifting back to Shivaay as he caught hold of me capturing me in them...weaving his web of charm that he was brilliant in doing. His lips twitching up with a beaming smile that seemingly had finally appeared after the dreadful tears he carried moments ago. My heart skipping a beat finding myself admiring that smile...finding an unusual peace in it that nothing else gave me...The noise amongst tuning itself out with an unusual silence dropping between us.

His feet guiding mine as I moved them back while he moved his feet forward holding its command...leading me which I always liked...knowing his steps always made a careful, reasoned move that would touch the right path and guide me to it...The chills of the ocean waves failing to brush past as our bodies closely pressed against one another molding one another's heat into it.

Tapping my heel gently against the cement ground, I allowed him to lead me before he pulled my arms around twisting me gently before twirling me. A giggle escaping from me with his hands sliding across my hips inciting a small brushful tickle against it. A gentle brush setting off a spark of goosebumps across the side of my neck finding his lips salivating against the creamy silk neckline where they took hold pressing them gently against it leaving a tender kiss in the pool of saliva that dripped from him...wanting to relish in its bare taste. My eyes widening realizing how seemingly he had caught himself in the moment forgetting the people that were around. My hand tightening its grip around his head pulling him inward before burying my lips into his shoulder closing my eyes shut wanting to avoid the curious and percuring eyes of those around us. His lips continuing to slip against the thin chiffon strap of my dress burying into the edge of it and leaving another tender, moist kiss as his tongue criss crossed against my shoulder.

The heat of his mouth slipping against the corner of my ears molding into it making me bite my lip finding them quiver...palipating under the guise of his lips which kindled the sparks of lust that I had attempted to bury under the layers I wore. "You are looking beautiful tonight Anika...She is elegant, yet simple...She catches eyes, yet lives and blossoms like a fresh rose not once withering...She is pure as a gem, but fails to realize such...Her tears appear as coal, but are fire...Her smile brings light while she keeps its darkness...She is flawless, yet she always begs to have flaws...She is Anika...pure, innocent, yet gallant...and she is mine..." He whispered brushing his admiration and painting its strokes against my flaws which I always tempted...and picked upon each and every moment...His admiration appearing to stitch the flaws one by one as I immediately looked up suddenly flinching realizing how my lips barely brushed the soft petals he held...Our lips quivering finding themselves unexpectedly caught in a moment of vulnerability and surprised by how they unknowingly wanted to mold into one...ravish and devour into one another...and explore the hidden mysteries we both still hold.

A smirk touching him observing the tinge of red that blushed its way upon knowing he had successfully triumphed in the rules of seduction once again. "This was my poem for today..." He whispered enchanting me once more with his fingers lightly stroking the edge of my back before pulling me into his heart swaying me side to side as my hands trailed down to his chest placing them upon his heart finding it pulsating and racing indicating the subtle affects that my presence perhaps had in consuming his senses...and pulling out the witty, seductive side of Shivaay that he barely let others know of....The music coming to a sudden stop as our bodies went still stopping in an instant realizing how the mere, foreign touch of one another appeared to incite that knotted, tension laying below the surface of the ground where lust riped and blossomed in the garden of love...only blessing some with both of it...even lust...a sin...can be a blessing for some creatures...some sinful creatures just like the both of us.

My hands instantly loosening their grasp from the seams of his shirt that had wrinkled under my nails which had dug into them. His eyes standing still appearing tempting wanting to explore more of the moment...explore the layers that I wore...undressing each one and touching the feeble, frail love I still cherished for him. Grasping his hands, I lightly patted them waking him up from his illusion...indicating that reality had struck once again...His gaze lowering in an instant as his hands immediately slipped away finding them awkwardly situated in the air. Turning myself towards the band, I joined the applause finding my legs trembling with weakness now enveloping into them from the sudden rush of thrill and tinge of demure that hit me. A burning, heated touch still laying against my neck as I felt his phantomic kisses laying there where he had engorged his tumultuous pleasure upon.

A tender touch seamlessly wrapping around my hand feeling his fingers skimp into my gaps entwining into them. We began to walk once again in silence finding that sensual being still bobbling and bumbling around us...teasing us...taunting us how we failed to triumph in sultry, temptations of lust. Ocean waves beginning to rise and lightly crash reminiscent of that night when indeed we had let this lustful creature dance upon us leading to even conception.

"Hmm...waise, you forgot to get an answer to your question on how your family agreed to allow you to be here with me...I guess only I matter to you then huh?" He spoke breaking me out of the enchanting bewitching that was now wrapping its hands into my heart and its feet into my soul pushing me into that cave where I wanted to live under my lover's shade.

Words not helping me as I continued to walk in silence holding on to his hand while contemplating upon what was happening to me in the moment...or what has been happening since the last few weeks...how easily I have lured myself into him not once resisting anything...Is it really love or an obsession?

"Don't you want to know the story behind it?" Shivaay questioned once again breaking out of my trance before slightly nodding realizing how my thoughts themselves had frozen in time.

Shivaay letting out a small chuckle as we walked through the crowd of people surrounding the shops that laid along the bay. "Actually...I figured your thayya ji likes a little whiff of money, so I...I gifted him a nice...watch and a phone...and well things worked out. He somehow convinced your parents as well for the surprise..."

My eyes widening as I looked at the devilish mind that had made its appearance finally after a week. Shivaay raising his eyebrows up and down trying to badger me as we stopped at the center of the crowd.

"So, you bribed my family? Shivaay...I...I don't honestly even know what to say right now..." I sighed feeling slightly annoyed, yet, finding a tinge of thrill upon the idea how he tamed my family in his own way...a taming no other person had dared to do before. The shrewdness of his mind slightly turning up my senses igniting a need within me to take hold of him and even...kiss the devil himself.

"Okay, I know you are going to lecture me about relationships and how money is not a way to handle them...But you can get mad at me afterwards alright? Let's get you a snack first because I think you and perhaps the twins might be a little hungry...?" He spoke as he looked back towards the shops behind him.

Hungry? That I do not know considering I am vomiting almost anything and everything I am eating at the moment. Revulsion hitting my stomach immediately feeling it crawl up upon seeing the sight of seafood in front of me...knowing it was something I disliked. The pungent smell of fish beginning to rift through the air before reaching the twins who immediately hit their distaste into my core as my hand clasped upon my mouth realizing I might just vomit once again.

"Anika...Anika are you ok?" Shivaay's voice attempting to soothen me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

My head shaking a big no with my gaze falling on the red fleshy crabs and crimson, crawly lobsters being served right across from me at the distance. "Y-you know how much...seafood...makes me...nauseous ...and you...decided to bring me here! Oh God, I swear I will vomit if I stay here any longer!" I exclaimed lifting myself out of his grasp quickening my pace back leading me back outside of the market while hearing Shivaay call after me.

"Anika! Wait! We can just get a snack ok?!" He called after me as I rolled my eyes before making my way out from the swarms of the crowd leading back to the distant peace offered by the ocean that waved below the wooden decks leading to them.

My hand wrapping around my womb attempting to take deep breaths to distract the pile of food from lifting its roots and dragging itself out of me. "It's ok...take deep breaths. Deep breaths," I repeated to myself finding my body beginning to tremble from the rush of adrenaline that was setting in right before the peak of possible vomiting.

Quickening my steps on the cement pathway, I led myself to the empty wooden bench facing the seaside before collapsing upon it. "Oh come on...please...don't do this to your mother today? Huh?...Don't humiliate me today now," I whispered to the two as I looked at them scolding their antics that they were feverishly embracing liking to tease their mother.

Laying my back against the bench, I continued to focus on my breathing realizing how I had just snapped myself out of a moment from Shivaay...Anger touching me realizing how for once both of us were trying to be normal and forget about that past we shared...and yet this happened...My hand grasping hold of them as I sighed knowing it wasn't their fault. Of course it wasn't...they are too innocent to hurt their mother...It's just fate...Whenever I decide to approach Shivaay and give him a chance something happens and makes everything fall apart...It is just fate...ugly fate.

Indeed, it was this ugly fate that separated the both of us right when we were on the verge of falling deeper in love...right when we were at the verge of building our family...cruel fate came in and snatched away our life...snatched the one being for whom we were living...our Chaaya.

Sometimes I worry...worry whether if...if I will be able to protect these two or fail just as I did with...with Chaaya...Tears touching me in an instant remembering the moment she was taken from me...How my hands failed to hold on to her tightly...failed to merge her into my bosom and hold her protectively there...failed to sacrifice myself for her...I was the reason she was taken away from us...I am the reason why she is not here today. If only I held on to her and didn't let that vile creature take her...then nothing would've happened...she would've been here with me...with us.

Flashback

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Emptiness continued to scratch itself within a womb that once relished and nourished itself with the presence of the innocent life it carried and blessed with breaths...a life now gone...gone and vanquished in the heavens where it shall forever be nurtured...deprived of her mother's love...a shallow love...a love that only trembled on the surface of my heart never cracking its roots within it...hence depriving me of the strength needed to be a strong mother.

Tears falling on to my wounds...wounds of losing my blessing to my own faltering...my own transgressions...A sense of anger breaking through the freshly slashed wounds, I held upon my heart, as I dragged my nails across my arms wanting to piece by piece snip my flesh off wanting to incarcerate myself for the crime I had committed.

My hands dragging against the edge of my mangalsutra as I felt it suffocate me, reminding me how as a mother...I broke the sacred vow I made as a wife....to cherish, love, and protect my children....my blood. My eyes closing shut as I tightly pressed them together wanting the blank darkness to consume me...consume my thoughts...my tears...providing me mercy by allowing me a moment to escape from this bitter, leeching poison that was now slipping bit my bit inside of me igniting a dark molded ash that was melting into my heart where my love for my...my Chaaya laid.

Her hazel eyes drifting into my mind's darkness...eyes that held the naivity of the world...giving me hope that pure virtue still seemingly lives within the graves of cruelty that are buried at each path of life... Her gentle touch that once brushed against my heart would dissolve lakes of grief that it carried...Her lips appearing in my sight...speaking her love for me in the laps of mysterious words that slipped from her...

A whimper slipping from me as my hand clasped against my trembling lips not able to bear that with these bare hands, I had allowed her to slip away from me. Glass shattering as the frame of her innocence slipped out of my hand. A shriek erupting from me with my hands slipped from the bed pulling me down in an instant laying me on to the ground knowing I deserved to be buried in it after what I had done.

My lips dragging themselves against the ground as life began to slip away...strength slipping as its fragile core splintered its roots letting me know that I no longer shall be fed from it. Trailing my fingers against the ground, barely holding on to my heartbeats, I traced the edges of the photo...the piece of her that fate had not yet snatched.

"I...I a-am s-so sorry Chaaya....I am so sorry meri jaan....W-What h-have I-I d-done? I...T-They s-say....mothers are a b-blessing....mothers are a blessing...w-who lay a shawl of velvet for their treasures...burying them in their bosom...soaking their tears in form of a venom...loving them despite themselves being unloved...p-protecting them e-even i-if i-it m-means f-for t-them to walk into the c-clay of fire that lays under and vanquish within it if it gives their treasures a heartbeat....B-But...I...I..." Words barely cracking through the pain that now was strewing from my hollow womb into the bare layers of my heart where my shallow love for my precious treasure lived...Dragging my lips I buried them into the carpet biting into it consuming my tears that burned the lingering love, for my Chaaya, which my lips wanted to slip through one last time.

A tender touch brushing lightly against the bare tone of back making me flinch, but not inciting my life as I laid still dragging the folds of the photo into my bosom where once she laid molding her pure love into me. "A-Anika..." His voice slipping me back to reality while I laid still not uttering a word...not able to look into his eyes knowing I was his culprit...I was the one who took a part of him away.

His hand stealthily slipping across my waist before grabbing hold of it picking me up from the ground and laying me against his heart. My legs curling up into a ball as I instantly embraced him laying my tears...barely able to collect to the remnants of strength forever surrendering it to the divine...only praying...praying my Chaaya returns, but knowing she is now in a place from where she can never come back.

"I-I am so sorry....T-This is a-all m-my f-fault..." My breaths beginning to gasp loudly not able to hold on to them...as I pulled him closer fearing he would also leave...and never return just like Chaaya. A dark, hallow feeling touching me once again reminding me how my daughter escaped to the divine due my own deeds.

His arms wrapping around me tightly before he began to root tender kisses against the nape of my neck wanting to comfort me...to ensure that I felt loved in the moment that I was losing the grasps of life...

"Shh...this is not your f-fault...hm?...Y-You d-did n-nothing..." Shivaay's voice barely lifting out as I whimpered not once agreeing with him knowing that I was the one at fault...that I was the one who let my child go...not once fighting...failing to hold on to her...

Her cries continuing to erupt within my ears...teasing me...taunting me...reminding me how I failed to cradle her against my bosom and layer her with my protection. My hands tracing against his kurta before grasping it into my palms wanting to lay my anger...my frustration...lay that unhinged shame that was not willing to let go of me. "I...I f-failed...I f-failed to p-protect her...Shivaay...I...I am so sorry Shivaay...I...I am s-so sorry..." I continued to blubber against his chest as his hand trailed around the back of my head grasping on to my hair shaking his head before placing his chin on top of it.

"N-No...o-ok...You are the perfect mother...It w-was out of y-your hands to p-protect her...It was fate my love...only fate..." He whispered gently against my ear before laying a gentle, caring kiss against my cheek. I laid in silence not resisting to his words, but knowing he was wrong as indeed all of this was my fault...I was the reason our Chaaya met this fate.

My body lifting up as I laid still allowing him to take control of me before wrapping my arms around his neck allowing him to carry me to our bed where we had made love...a love to bury our miseries...our grief...and our sorrow...and resurrect our love to overcome and overpower what we had lost...the treasure we had lost to fate...

The bed dipping down as I felt my body dive into it finding him hover above me. My eyes slightly opening finding his blue hues that revealed tender tears...tears of a father...tears not seen before, but found today...reminding me how I had not only let my child go, but also battered the soul of my lover. His gaze lowering as they appeared to fall upon my trembling lips that continued to smother themselves with tears...My hand wrapping across the back of his neck as I pulled him towards me allowing him to know that I wanted him to love me in this moment...to mend me in this moment.

Without any hesitation, he allowed the heat of his lips mold into mines' before pressing them gently against mine. My lips barely taking hold of his finding sorrow suddenly consume me with tears continuing to escape from me until they were held by his fingers that untangled themselves into them. His lips taking a tighter hold of mine appearing to deepen and devour the bittersweetness that graced my dry lips now soaking themselves with tears.

"I love you Anika...I love you..." The words barely coming out making my heat pang upon the thought that he still loved me after what I had done. My hands entangling into the waves of his hair before letting my lips burn into the heat that we were igniting by continuing to push and tug against each other's lips wanting to express our grief to comfort our grief.

"I...I...also...I love you..." I whispered letting my lips slip away from his as he pulled me into an embrace laying against the bed allowing me to submerge myself into him...allowing me to find solace that only he offered.

Tears continuing to slip down my cheeks as I bit lightly into the cloth of kurta not able to bear what I had done...His hands continuing to run through my hair while he pressed me closer into the warmth of his body allowing me lay on top of him and lay my love for him that escaped as gasps from realizing how my love for my child...faltered...failed...and perhaps my love for him may also fail...

"Anika...You have to be brave...You have to be strong...If you are left alone...you have to learn how to live...hm?...My Anika is brave right..." He spoke lines of strength hoping to empower the wounds I carried in my womb. I sighed shaking my head before entwining my hand into his and pressing my love upon it through a tender kiss. Shivaay taking a deep breath as he carried our hands to his heart before placing his lips against my temple.

"Promise me that you will be brave...you will be strong...even when you are left alone..." He whispered as my eyes widened with fear onsetting itself into me...a fear that wrapped immediately around the memories I held...memories in which once I was alone...when I was unloved...that heavy dew of emptiness setting in...a dew I did not want to hold.

"N-no...you will be here for me...Hm?...When you are here then I...I have n-nothing to fear...You are here to p-protect me...t-to s-save me...t-to l-love me..." I attempted to breathe, but failed as I looked up meeting his gaze revealing my tears to him.

Shivaay's eyes appearing to soften as they encountered my tears before appearing to disguise it with hardening of his eyes masking it with a stern look. "No...no Anika. Don't you dare depend on me...Hm?...Don't you dare hope on others to be there for you...You have to learn how to be brave...You have to learn how to live alone...So promise me that you will not falter if left alone...Promise me Anika..." His voice having a sense of urgency as I looked at him confused not able to contemplate and understand why he was suddenly making me promise him. His eyes showing command while he tightened his grasp upon my hand shaking me into reality and pleaing me to promise him.

Hesitation touching upon me as I looked at him not knowing whether I should make the promise...but seeing that unusual look of plea in his eyes that he never had implied a sense of fear...fear what would happen to me if he also leaves me...something that can never happen, but likely has taken root in his mind after what happened to Chaaya...

"I-I promise Shivaay..." I spoke knowing that in this moment it was best to give him hope and not further weaken him knowing somewhere he was vulnerable after what happened to Chaaya...

Shivaay smiled weakly before pulling my chin up and without any hesitation pulling me into another passionate kiss wanting to lead me to an escape...where our griefs could be forgotten again.

Flashback Ends

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Currents continued to bellow themselves loudly beneath the ocean that laid in front of me. My eyes searching its layers...hunting for answers...questioning its depths...wanting to touch them...relish in them...wanting to submerge in them and reach for...for my fate that laid buried within it...my fate in which I would've still had Chaaya...still had Shivaay...still had my marriage...a fate that was cruely buried beneath this very divine sea...

Tears escaping from my eyes as that hollow part of my womb continued to scream even in this moment reminding me how it had lost a child that no one could replace...no one...not even these two that I held within me...even these two innocent, precious beings can never replace my Chaaya...my Chaaya's place can never be replaced by anyone in my heart...she was the pearl of my eye...She was a piece of my soul...The love I have for her can never be touched by anyone...not even her own blood.

"Anika..." His voice breaking through the hollow silence that had embraced itself around me. My gaze lifting up finding him walking his way down the wooden dock towards me as I stood at the edge of it daring to even touch the layers that streamed itself there.

The moonlight appearing to scatter above the both of us appearing to weave a web that would initiate our union...a union that perhaps may happen...if this heart learns how to love once again. A comforting smile touching his lips as he walked towards me holding a small black box before looking at me.

My hand embracing my tears quickly wiping them away not wanting him to figure the thought...knowing it would also pain him as well considering how dear Chaaya was to him...already I could tell he is struggling...there is a part of him that still holds that evil spirit and thus I shall ensure to not awaken it because somewhere I do want him to change.

"There you are...I was looking for you...You were sitting at the bench right?" He questioned as I nodded before taking a seat on the deck attempting to ignore his gaze knowing he would find tears in my eyes and question them.

His hand grasping hold of my shoulder while he took a seat next to me allowing our shoulders to press one another as the heat of his body simmered into me. "Are you feeling better now?...I am sorry Anika...I didn't realize you would have such an overt reaction to all the seafood...I shouldn't have brought you here," His voice showing some concern while I shook my head before looking towards him.

"It's fine Shivaay...it's not your fault...And in fact I should thank you...it's been a long time since...since I have been able to breathe...breathe without feeling suffocated." A small smile erupting letting out a feeble laugh upon my fate remembering how for years...after our divorce, how each and every bit of my heart appeared to lose its breaths in the wake of realizing how the one person who fed and nurtured this heart was gone...leaving it to slowly begin to lose it's life.

His hand slipping around my shoulder rubbing it suddenly inciting a warmth within me making my heart begin to skip beats realizing how closely our flesh quaked against once another...racing to take a grasp of that ripe voluptuous fruit of pleasure .

My eyes meeting his finding a brittle smile reflecting tears that he still held in his eyes...tears whose origin I wanted to search for and grasp upon, but failing as he appeared to deeply bury it within him. "Suffocation?...A-am the one who did such to you?" His voice barely breaking not able to face the possibility of realizing another sin.

A breath rumbling from me as my hand immediately clasped against his squeezing it immediately to prevent his strength from slipping from it. Sighing, I looked back towards the empty ocean finding it reel into eternity just as a life without breaths did for me. "No...Shivaay...y-you n-never s-suffocated the breaths of my life...Never. You made me breathe...You showed me a world that I never seen before, but always fantasized as a silly child to take hold of...You showed me corners and crooks of this world that I always wanted to see...You never bonded me with values...or norms...My family...well...they suffocated my life...their values did...always bounding my dreams...shackling my hopes...watching each and every flawed mistake I would commit...But you...you...made me realize...that one should always live for one's own dreams...hopes...always follow one's true desired path that their calling is too... I found life...life when I was with you...and today...in this moment...I find life once again...a life that was snatched for years..." My voice dropping its tone seamlessly merging with the harmonies of the ocean waves that dropped by us.

Silence brisking past us as we sat in silence letting my truth seap itself into both of us...soaking into our injured selves that sat battered under the guise of the moon...praying once again for happiness...happiness we have longed and yearned for ages...a happiness we only found with one another...in the small fantasy we both built, but to only have it crash.

"And that is the life....that you will once again be gifted rightfully by me," His voice breaking the chorus of the winds catching the ears of my life letting a faint smile touch my lips with the light of faith that had rayed upon me. My eyes meeting his finding that ray of light in his eyes...a light that told me that indeed this is a gift he shall lay in my lap the moment he becomes mine.

"N-now...I know what cheers you up and brings you in a good mood...Your favorite hot fudge sundae right?" He spoke trying to add cheer in an attempt to hide the gravel that was now crawling up within him.

An unusual tinge of pain rapturing itself within me finding that gravel scraping within me...telling me to question him, but not giving me enough strength to determine how I could approach him knowing there was no way to do such.

"Ok?...here...have one scoop hm?" He noted as he widened his smile before taking a scoop of the sundae and moving it towards me to take a bite of.

A sense of demure touching me looking at his hand offering the ice cream that began to drip from the spoon...my hands beginning to fidget with one another relieving my shyness into them. Shivaay appearing to catch on to the thought in my mind as he leaned in closer breathing the mint cologne upon me filling up my senses with it while I looked at his eyes that appeared to take hold of my parted lips that barely held a shade of red since it was consumed by my tears.

"Here...take a bite of it..." His voice appearing hoarse appearing to have become tempted as his tongue slipped at the edge of his lips appearing to allude how it would feel to take hold of the lips that trembled in fear in front of him.

His command appearing to shackle me...wanting me to obey it as I parted my lips letting the smooth, cool texture of the vanilla flavor slip within me filling my senses up with the chocolate fudge sticking itself to the ends of my tongue. A chill running down my spine while looking at Shivaay who appeared to observe each and every movement of my lips as they let my tongue recoil before letting them to be salivated by it...The innocent allure appearing to tempt his senses that were now heating up seen as his cheeks painted a shade of red.

My heart beginning to pound loudly looking away realizing the undertones of the moment...feeling that heated tension beginning to steam its coarse between us...That tension that always broke our arguments into sudden, revulsive moments of passion...a tension that led us to continue to find ways to hold on to one another even in the worst of our arguments...a tension that pushed into moments of rage and under erotic pleasure.

My eyes shifting as I moved them around trying to find a way to divert the tension before finding them land on the group of sea lions resting their way on the wooden dock at a long distance from us. The brown colored creature conforming to a shade of charcoal that fell upon them as they crawled and rested on the dock finding themselves being given shade and nurturing from the moon that gave them refuge. A broad smile touching my lips before excitedly getting up.

"Shivaay...look at the sea lions! Ah...I have seen them after so long!" I exclaimed with excitement as Shivaay lifted himself up appearing not too amused. He leaned over the small wooden barrier looking towards them with intent trying to find the beauty that I found in them.

"So?" He spoke nonchalantly as I grabbed a hold of my sundae before beginning to gorge upon it in excitement finding myself distracted by their beauty.

"Uff...you are so boring!...Look at them...isn't it amazing how they spend most of the year here on the docks? Do you know they are the only group of male sea lions who does this here in San Francisco? I hope you know that is a rarity for your kind information," I spoke with pride stroking my knowledge of science against him.

Shivaay letting out a small chuckle as he shook his head back and forth finding my words foolish. "Ok...and why would that fascinate me more towards them hm?" He said rolling his eyes not finding them gratifying by any means.

My eyes falling upon his lips that parted and grasped on to the chocolate ice-cream...devouring it and letting it seep through the rims of his tongue which brushed against it before pulling it into him...relishing upon the smooth creaminess it offered. My cheeks immediately catching the heat his tongue set upon that ice-cream allowing it to melt into him...perhaps giving pleasure to it...

Stop! Stop Anika...Just stop...My conscious screamed loudly trying to put the brakes on the level of filth my mind was beginning to build upon the moment realizing where that demonic side of mine that lusted upon him began to come back to life...wanting to touch his tones that no one else ever did.

What is there to stop? He is the father of your children...and is going to become your husband tomorrow...why stop Anika? Which normal woman would not think in such a manner?...And either way, you both have already done the deed...many times as far as my memories catch me to. The devil within me spoke as I felt it sinisterly laugh trying to arouse me towards him...knowing that indeed I was walking towards that path tonight...a path that I am scared of touching.

"You ok Anika?" The devil suddenly snapping itself out of me as Shivaay's voice diverted me back to reality. He raised his eyebrow completely unaware of how my mind was mentally undressing each and every layer of him.

My throat going dry attempting to cough to salivate it. "Um...y-yes...p-perfect," I replied taking the last bite of my sundae, but barely letting it crawl down my throat remembering that unusual filth that had now entered my mind and was not going anywhere at the moment.

It's the hormones...yes...it is the hormones nothing else. Nothing besides these hormones that are playing with my mind and making me even think of such nonsense...Also I have twins, so definitely the hormones will running a wilder coarse twice the speed.

"Acha...fine the sea lions are nice I guess for children to see?...Well, I think we will bring our daughters here huh?" He said wittingly as my eyes widened immediately looking towards him seeing him beaming with a smile reflecting that hope...that same hope when I was pregnant before...

Sighing, I shook my head realizing he was never going to change. A giggle escaping from me looking towards him catching his curiosity filled with confusion not able to catch the reason for my laugh. "Daughters? I mean Shivaay, what if we have sons, what will you do then?" I questioned raising my eyebrows as Shivaay's eyes widened with fear flashing across them...a sense of horror touching them upon the thought of even having a son...That fear of raising a son who would be running wildly in our home just like him, causing havoc just like him, and throwing tantrums not willing to listen to him and his command just like his father himself.

Shivaay clasping his hand tightly against the barrier shaking his head not even able to bear the thought of raising another potential Shivaay...a reflection of him who might run around causing mayhem. A smile touching my lips while I poked my elbow against his arm grabbing his attention while winking at him.

He threw me a glare before looking at my womb with slight fear once again thinking two little boys may be waiting inside there ready to escape and latch on to him. "No! Absolutely not! Anika...for once speak some good ok? In fact, start praying we have two daughters. I have already started to pray and you too follow my suit alright?" He ordered adamantly while I bit into my laughter liking the fact that I was annoying him since that is something I do find a thrill in considering how he is as a person...I mean he always annoys me and pokes at me, but not only me at others as well, so what's the harm if he get's a little karma?

Shivaay taking a deep breath before took another bite of his ice cream immediately swallowing it completely losing his mood finding him in unease about having two boys. Indeed, I wonder why he is like this? He should be happy with any blessing he get's from the divine, yet, here he is praying and hoping to have a daughter...not that I am complaining as even in this time everyone prays for sons, but still...he should be equally accepting of having both a son and daughter as they both are a blessing.

His hand wrapping around mine while he looked towards me in an attempt to give me clarity on his reasoning. "I want two beautiful daughters just like you nice, calm, and virtuous...who are loving like you...selfless like you...and courageous like you...I want them to be independent like you...and be able to serve society just like you want to...I want them one day to rule over other men and show them that women too can be in a position of power...I want my daughters to carry my name forward and wealth forward," He spoke calmly, but in an instant tuning the beats of my heart that slipped down to the two in my womb who curled up upon hearing their father's words...wanting to obey them and praying to have them.

A timid smile touching my lips as I heard his words realizing what he truly thought of me...realizing why he wanted daughters...The drips of appreciation chiming in his words laying their healing upon me knowing how he saw me more than what I was on the surface...how he appreciates my ornaments that I treasure within me...not the ones I display. "I...I can never understand you Shivaay...You have many layers that even I cannot uncover..." I whispered realizing this man had so many layers to him that even I cannot uncover all of them, though, somewhere hoping that now for a lifetime, I may be able to lift each one before reaching that bit of core where the true Shivaay lives...the true Sivaay who hides behind different masks, but is an entity of his own.

A sly smile touching him while I turned beginning to take my steps down the dock before stopping along the way to throw my trash away.

"Anika suno!" His rough voice making me halt in my steps as I looked back towards him finding him pacing his way towards me.

An unusual sense of determination appearing across his eyes keeping an unusually wicked smile on his lips appearing to weave up a malicious intention that he wanted to dip himself in. His eyes taking hold of mine as we stood in silence with the wind beginning to pick up crashing against the both of us, but failing to make us fall. Chills failing to diminish the heat that now was building and tensing itself within our flesh that now were barely brushing against one another. His eyes threading an allure keeping me steady with an unusual gratification that appeared to pull me in towards pushing me to take a step closer.

A trail of fingers beginning to snare their way around my waist as my eyes widened feeling it heat up making it form a tight knot wanting to recoil within itself not able to bear the tease that he was offering. His hand bit my bit tracing up my arm ensuring that I was accepting of his invitation. My body standing still finding each and every limb within me awaken beginning to shake...begging to be touched...begging for him to acknowledge them and lay his merciful touch that would fulfill their hidden desires.

His gaze lowering appearing to fall upon my lips that parted begging for another tender kiss that it had been touched with days before by him...begging to be healed by their caress. My lips lifting up leaning in closer letting him know that I too desired to get a piece of him. His lips heating mine up putting them under their charm as he leaned in closer trailing his fingers against my neck with goosebumps beginning to set their course while my pulse began to hit against it loudly waiting...waiting to be touch. Our noses barely brushing against one another as he and I began to incline our lips trembling...tempting...and teasing one another...wanting to grab hold and never let go.

"You can uncover these layers Anika...only you are allowed to see the Shivaay that no one has seen..." He spoke in a lowered voice and he dipped his lips into my cool skin molding them on to it wanting to devour it with his tongue sliding against the corner of my lips barely brushing against them which continued to whimper wanting him to touch that spot. My head lowering as my hand immediately grasped on to his shirt pulling him closer allowing him to nibble on the spot to touch the sweetness it offered...to relish on it because I want to give him the right to...no matter was happened...or what he has done...there is a part of me just wants him to love me...and to show his love with courage not once wavering back from it...This is the side I want of his...the side that allows me to feel loved...the side that is dark, yet vulnerable...this toxicness of his...this danger dappered with surprises is the layer I want to merge into...consume myself with it...and surrender to it because it is the side that makes me feel the most protected...makes me feel that no one can lay a finger upon me because he will be here to give me refuge.

His lips continuing to mold on to that spot, sucking euphoria into me...a state that now was beginning to take reign of my senses not allowing me to think about anything other than wanting him to continue to lay that sensual drip of honey that would stick and weild its way into me where he would leave a part of him...a piece of his love...that no one would be able to loot. The heat of his mouth inciting a tickle against my lip wanting him to take hold of it and introduce that bittersweet, liquorish taste that now burnt and engraved itself against the corner of it.

Our bodies continuing to press against one another begging to touch their deeper shades upon which our fingers ran over delicately...admiring their flaws and their features...wanting a touch of it, but having threads of boundaries consume the both of us. His lips appearing to loosen their grip from my skin as warmth released itself into that spot beginning to burn it and inflame it with a shade of red where he had subtly satisfied that erotic temptation he held. His tongue continuing to gently weive itself in circles dipping into lakes of saliva that he continued wanting to continue to get the last bit of taste he had already fed upon for minutes.

A riveting smile touching his lips while he admired the spot upon which he had fed his ecstasy. "It tastes better when it was on you...sweet, tender, crisp..." His words beginning to provoke the supple ridges within me knowing exactly that he was churning the potion of bewitchment.

Confusion touching me as his thumb rubbed itself against the rim of my lip before smirking, "Ice-cream..." He whispered as my eyes widened realizing what he had done vaporously and cunningly...taking control of the moment by finding a sly excuse.

His lips barely brushing themselves against giving only a speck of their savory, bittersweetness that would allow me to enter another realm of pleasure. My breath drawing itself sharply finding his hand wrapping itself through my neck crawling its way around leading our temples to hit one another as my trekked up the peaks of his pulse before capturing hold of his neck implying to him that I wanted more of him...that I have chosen only him to light fire of desire within me...to fulfill my hidden gaps that only he knew of...that only he could touch.

His eyes introducing an intense ardor forcing me to look into them and finding that equal desire to have me...to allow me to touch his secrets that only I can heal...that no other woman, but me could stroke and cease.

Our lips appearing to tug closer contouring towards one another as I leaned in guiding him towards me letting him know he was allowed to provoke and touch the kernels I kept. "Allow me to unravel you...to touch your layers...Only me...no one else, but me...no other woman, but only Anika...this Anika that you can have...fulfill your desires with...at any moment...but only if you choose me...not daring once to look at any other woman...to not dare to speak to any other woman...to not even indulge in a bit of conversation...do you understand? Do you understand me?" I whispered grabbing a hold of his collar placing my command with an intent to provoke his lust that he was holding on to in patience...For once I was the empress and he was my servant...for once he would listen to me knowing that I was the one who could satiate his dirty, filthy appetite.

He sighed biting his lip looking at mine knowing in an instant how much he wanted gallant upon them, but appearing to hesitate as I felt his hand trace the bends and curves of my spine before fusing them upon my waist and immediately turning me on my back hitting his chest against my spine. His arms wrapping around my tightly while I heaved a breath, but barely able to clasp on to them as his lips began to find delight in the silk cream of my neck blowing its heat upon it before taking hold of it.

His hand tracing the edges of my hair before layering them behind my ear which he took an immediate hold with his teeth. "She commands me to hold her...She commands me to touch the folds and creases of her soul knowing that only I can reign them...She commands me to touch her heart, hold it, and paint my love upon it...well I shall submit...I shall submit to each and every demand of hers...I shall lose myself in her shades...I shall lose and sacrifice each and every bond if it means to only have her...I shall forever be faithful and loyal to only her...No woman can compete against her...her purity...her innocence...and that tinge of wickedness that she can sway...She is the only one made for paupers like me...because she is the one who can give love to such paupers...such paupers who for years beg for love...but to only find it in the woman who holds all of it in her palm...so allow me take a morsel of your love..." He whispered as he dragged my palm against my waist before grabbing a hold of it...drowning himself with the pungent smell of the mehendi that now was intoxicating itself with his devotion....his lips trailing against it before he laid a kiss upon it sealing my command and obeying my order.

A languorous smile touching my lips realizing how I had won...how indeed I had made him lay at my doorstep begging for only me...not any other woman...but only me...He is mine...only mine...Shivaay is made for Anika and now I will not let him escape like last time...never. If fate wants us to be in a bond then this time I will be the commander...I will rule and decide what he does.

His succulent lips taking a firm hold of my jawline knowing exactly where pleasure would hit me. His hands trailing against mine that laid in silence upon my waist finding themselves intrigued to feel each and every posed touch of his that begged for me to give in. "And under the guise of this moon...under this moon's shadow...to whom we both have prayed many nights to be united...to become one...I vow to you to allow you to sit at the throne of my home and my heart...I vow to you to only be loyal to you forever...I vow to fulfill each and every dream of yours' even if it would make me a vagrant...Your wish and your desire will always be give more value and privilege than mine...I vow to lay you in the lap of love and love you each and every moment even if I shall beget your hate in return..." His voice lapping with determination entwined with faithfulness and integrity as I felt a cold, rough tough against my wrist catching my sight.

The thread of sacred vows....a sacred love...running itself timidly against my wrist gently attempting to awaken me and let me know that it had finally returned...returned to the true lover who had cherished it and kept it delicately within her heart allowing its vows to wrap and sing its hymns upon her soul allowing it to completely submit to the ma she was vowed to.

Tears languishing themselves out of my heart that not was able to bear how finally it was getting justice...justice after years of lingering upon its death wanting to be buried, but still clenching to bare, broken beats for the sake of a prayer...a prayer that its lover would return to its doorstep and endow them with the right...the status...the value that it deserved after sacrificing itself.

My tears meeting Shivaay who kept his tears still within his eyes...holding on to them gently knowing if I would see them fall then I myself may submerge into the sea below us not able to bear her lover falling into grasps of creatures that are on the trail of torturing him for his sins.

"Anika...I want to vow you with the mangalsutra that tied us in these vows...the mangalsutra that made us become one not allowing us to part even after all these years of living at a distance upon a burning desert that would not allow us to walk upon it...Each and every time I have wanted to remember you, I have captured sight of this mangalsutra...a mangalsutra that guided me to the right path...not once allowing me to envision any woman besides you whom I would give them the right to be my soulmate...this mangalsutra has taught me the value of your love as each and every thread is one that you yourself have made and cherished with your love that is selfless, sacrificial, and even perhaps...has blessings of divine...Our journey never ended Anika...never...we parted in distance...but our souls never parted...our souls remained bonded by these sacred vows we spoke under the guise of divine...our hearts continued to beat together in rhythm praying its chorus of hymns begging for our union...and I know my heart unknowingly begged for you all these years...I-I r-realized t-this love l-late f-for y-you, but this l-love was a-alive each and e-every moment w-we were t-together and e-even after we parted...this mangalsutra was cherished by me b-because s-somewhere my heart k-knew and h-hoped you would come back...that w-we would u-unite...so Anika...w-will y-you a-allow me to v-vow my l-love to y-you...to c-continue o-our j-journey...our j-journey towards l-loving one another again?" His voice barely now cracking at the end with tears beginning to trail down his cheeks revealing how he was the edge of forsaking himself...at the edge of not able to bear the sins that now were beginning to come back and ask for justice...

He is right...Each and every word he has said is the same tune my own love has threaded for what feels like an eternity...It is these vows that never allowed me to move on...to step beyond the boundary and make love to another man...I couldn't...I could never love another man because these vows are now something that have engraved themselves into each and every crease of my soul that perhaps met its death in being devalued and stripped of honor and pride, but now is meeting its life again in these vows that are now beginning to breathe and sing their hymns once again...hymns now blessed by divine fate...Yes, I want our journey...yes I want this journey...I want to step off the burning desert as I am tired to walking upon the thorns of betrayal...reminding myself each and every day how I was betrayed...how my honor was sacrificed...because I am tired...tired of continuing to wash myself into this creature that continue to ignite threads and stoles of agony around me...I just want love...I only want love...and I know...that love can only be provided by the man who has my vows...who has cherished them for years...and that man is Shivaay...So now I do want to once again walk on the lush path pressed with thorns, that would force me to tackle my demons, but also roses in which I will be loved...so yes...I will join this journey with him.

My hand moving forward towards the thread he held in his hand as he smiled finding my answer in my eyes that now were speaking my love for him...my weak, fragile love...that still lived. "Y-yes...I...want to walk upon that path again with you...a path in which...we both will struggle...fight...tug on each other's hearts...but it is a path that I want because I...I...till this day, these vows...have n-never l-left me...n-never...T-this h-heart continued to beat for years...because of these v-vows...these vows g-gave it h-hope...hope that p-perhaps you will return...p-perhaps our m-marriage will r-ressurect...and l-look t-that prayer has been heard..." I whispered brittley not able to say more as tears began to swivel down my cheeks dropping on to my wrist that laid upon his hand begging for the return of vows threaded in the black beads he held delicately in the palm of his hand.

Shivaay's lips quivering as my words appeared to pierce into the gallows where his demons resided and one by one appeared to poison them allowing his love to crack to the surface of his heart that his darkness always appeared to suffocate...realization of my love appearing to touch him as in that moment I could tell that he understood...he understood that indeed this Anika never stopped loving him...his Anika never parted from him just like he never parted from her. His gaze lowering as he looked at the mangalsutra before looking towards me finding my soul begging him to give its life back held in those beads.

"I...I will lay this upon your wrist...write where your heart gives its last beats allowing these vows to continue to breathe...and not forget the journey it has come thus far...and t-tomorrow I will endow you with the m-mangalsutra that w-would m-make y-you my pride...my honor...a mangalsutra that will c-contain my promise to l-love you n-now f-forever e-even if it is s-slit...to repent for my deeds for a lifetime...to n-now o-only surrender to you with utmost loyalty..." He spoke with each and every word giving its allegiance to me as a soft smile touched my lips knowing that this time...this allegiance was now going to stay for a lifetime.

His hand tracing delicately across my wrist as he unfolded the mangalsutra slowly beginning to wrap it around it with each and every turn marking a vow that he was making to me...each turn reminding us of the seven vows we took to one another...vows that continued to grasp on to life even when they were threatened to be embroiled in the chaotic winds of fate that threatened to rift them.

My heart, that trembled and daggered for years...begging for mercy as a deafening pain continued to wrap itself around it...now appearing to touch the dew harmony and palms of solace that now were now beginning to console it and begin the process of stitching its wounds and healing them.

A faint smile touching me while I looked up at Shivaay who continued to cautiously wrap the mangalsutra fearing it would be injured by the sins he carries upon his hands. Give him courage Anika...let him know that...that these vows will now too be cherished by you...Don't let him fall apart and once again give into his malicious apparitions...He is your strength despite being your weakness...He is the reason why you continue to wake up each and every day ready to bear the cruelties and obscenities of the world...He is the reason why you want to live...

My need to chisel hope riveted me towards him entrancing my lips that parted...humming with love...as I swallowed his tear, making it mine to remember how his love is now bleeding for me, before replacing it with a tender kiss...pushing my lip against the corner of his cheek to inscribe hope within him...hope that one day he will win my heart...and make me his.

We stood in silence as he wrapped his arms around me burying his lips into the pulse against my neck while I kept my clasped my palm against his neck stroking it gently...cradling him with my lips still laying still against his cheek ensuring he would know that he can always find haven in me...that if each and every person turns themselves against him...he will always find me standing there...supporting him...and always being besides him no matter what...because he is my love...my only love.

And we let silence keep us as the moon laid his bright shadow upon us...appearing to bless me finally with happiness...that I begged and prayed for many nights...The ocean waves barely stroking us as we stood above them telling them that our love may even overpower the vicious plans it may have for the both of us...Divine finally laying its palm above both of us in form of solace that now began to sing its hymns in the mehfil of our love.

"And now we're going home...Let's go home..." He spoke.

-------

Please do read the paragraphs without dialogues as many are actually romantic scenes, so as readers demanded, I put in a lot of romantic scenes in this chapter, so do read them again if you want to :)

Part 2 is now available to read after this Part 1 and is shorter (separated for transition purposes only) Don't forget to read part 2 that will give a big surprise at the end :)

Will Anika and Shivaay repeat their mistake that they committed on the beach and led to twins? Find out in this part...

Part 2 has a lot of romance and Shivika may repeat their mistake that happened at the beach...a seductive Anika will be found in this part.

.....

Preview of Chapter 36 Part 2 that is now available to read after this part:)

My gaze lifting up looking into his dim blue hues with light barely touching the both of us in the dark home we both stood...our home. "Will you allow me to speak my love tonight?" His voice filled with gravel...barely able to beg for his alms...

A weak smile appearing across my lips as I let them soak themselves with tears. Don't listen to your conscious...listen to your heart...and let it speak. For once don't bind yourself with norms and values of society...don't bind yourself with what you are taught to be as...don't bind yourself with boundaries...In this moment, you know that he will love you...you can tell he loves you...so live it...let him love you.

"Y-yes...love me tonight," I whispered taking a firm grasp of his hand assuring me of my decision...allowing him a right upon me.

A shy smile touching me making me hit back to reality upon what I was doing...how seemingly my mind had taken a hit of ecstasy forgetting how I was a complete virgin in such matters, yet, somehow still wanting to indulge in them. "Y-yeah...they are fine ok?...Now shhh...we should be quiet right?" I whispered keeping seduction in my voice before placing a finger on his lips. His eyes widening appearing to be in disbelief that I was the Anika whose innocence he found admiration upon.

Flipping my hair to the side, I let my waves hit his face knowing that the subtle rose fragrance was a key to taming his reasoning and letting his heart run out into the wild. His eyes closing shut as the strands of my hair stuck themselves to his moist lips that were not salivating upon the layers of seduction he had found himself in...probably never expecting such to happen.

Hovering above him, my fingers dragged against the roses before taking a fist of them and immediately plunging them against his face making his eyes awaken caught by surprise from the subtle, soft touch of rose petals that scattered and clung themselves to the nooks and corners of his pale skin before collapsing against his lips that uncanningly matched their shade.

.....
Don't forget to read part 2, that is now available to read after this part. Part 2 will give a big surprise at the end and do read the last intimate scene between Shivika in part 2 . Don't forget to read part 2 that will give a big surprise at the end and do read the last intimate scene between Shivika in part 2 (the long paragraphs in that scene are intimate scenes which are not explicit, but still romantic and not character point of views).

Please do read part 2 as in Chapter 37 wedding will happen but drama will occur due to that scene in part 2, so I want to ensure no confusion arises when Chapter 37 is posted as I want all to have a good read :) Part 2 is shorter... I separated the update for transition purposes only:)

So, please do read part 2 as the end of Chapter 36 Part 2 is going to give a big surprise to all readers, so please do read it:)

Also I had to add details in this chapter to set up and explain their point of view along with explaining romantic scenes since readers want more romance between them and explain the feelings characters have for one another, but will lessen as updates go forward :) Also, settings were only described in this chapter to set up the new track and set up a new image in readers' minds, but such will change in upcoming updates and details will lessen. Sorry :(

The sudden turn in Anika and Shivaay's relationship is best explained by the long monologues in Chapter 35 in which indicated Anika's thin line of obsession for Shivaay as she admitted her therapist told her she has an obsession for Shivaay, so take that into perspective to realize the sudden turn in her attitude and relationship with Shivaay-their relationship is very dynamic and this chapter shows how their marriage will be....Also, please read Chapter 35 to understand why both have suddenly become so romantic with one another :)...read rooftop scnee, Shivaay's scene in hospital, and Anika's last few thoughts in Chapter 35 to understand :)

If you do not like any of the romantic scene due to its tone then let me know by commenting or messaging me and I will censor it :) Thank you :)

So, please do read part 2 as the end of Chapter 36 Part 2 is going to give a big surprise to all readers, so please do read it:) The long details in the last scene are not character point of views, but description of intimacy that is not explicit, but still has romance in it.

......

Wedding updates will happen hopefully by Thursday/Friday :)

This chapter is more on Anika's point of view to set her obsession track that will last a few chapters before it focuses on her building her love again...she first has to tackle her obsession.

Yes, I could have gone the cliche route and began this three part wedding special with a wedding, but I am reversing traditions-mangalsutra being worn will be shown in this chapter and ghar pravesh will happen in next chapter before the vows.

Thank you again everyone for giving 100K reads to this story...I want to thank each and every one of you who have read this story :) Thank you so much and I am so humbled by the love give to this story :)

Again I want to thank each and every reader for being amazing and giving 100K reads to this story :)

Please do read Part 2 that is now posted after this Part 1 and is shorter, so please do read as a big surprise will happen in the last scene :)

Part 2 has romance and Shivika may repeat their mistake that happened at the beach...a seductive Anika will be found in this part...so do read this part that is now available to read :)

-Jasmine