Hi everyone :) I want to begin by thanking God and also all of you amazing readers who continue to read this story and give so much love and support to it :)

So this first update kicks off the wedding chapters and the wedding chapters will consist of 10 parts which I will release as Chapter 39 and Chapter 40 and Chapter 41 :) I am hoping to update the chapters as they get ready, so updates may become more frequent hopefully :)

I know some readers want drama and emotions, well they are beginning starting from the haldi update that is Part 3 :) So, believe me a lot of drama is hopefully coming that readers may like. I had to put in lighter updates since the past few updates were kind of sad and dark, so I had to put in these updates and change the mood of the story :).

The first two updates I will be making set up the two tracks for the wedding chapters which are Anika and Chaaya's reunion and Shivika's star crossed lover's connection from a past lifetime due to which they are now still building upon their love :)

I know everyone wants Chaaya to be part of the wedding, but unfortunately I cannot do that since the script demands are different. If I bring Chaaya in front of Anika before the wedding then knowing the characterizations of Anika and Shivaay, Anika likely will not go forward with the wedding. Thus, Anika and Chaaya will only reunite after the wedding in Paris, so please be patient :) I decided to post this small encounter between Anika and Chaaya since a lot of readers want to see their interaction, so I added this, but rest of the interaction will happen in Paris after the wedding :)

If you like reading this chapter then if you wish then please do vote, comment, and share :) Thank you for always reading and thank you for your patience :)

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https://youtu.be/ts3aQE_3YFg

Tracing our steps in silence, we let them hit the marble floor hearing hymns being sung around us. A shy smile touching my lips while I slipped my saree's pallu on my head letting it veil my face. Shivaay's hand clasping into mine as we walked on a path of the divine who had done everything to unite us...even making us be our worst...if it meant to thread us back into the vows we took before Him.

Sacred vows can never be reversed...They never can be unsung from the realm of love that one has dared to enter...

Sacred vows can never be unstitched from the heart...

Sacred vows taken with a fulfilled love can never be ripped from the soul in which they have weaved themselves upon.

It is impossible to claim one's independence knowing they have forever bonded themselves to another.

"Thank you for offering to come here before dropping me home," I whispered looking towards him seeing him barely under the veil I kept covering my features. Shivaay smiling as we made our way to Shivji and Parvati Ma ready to appreciate their blessings.

"You know Anika...I always claimed to believe in the divine, but somewhere I was deprived of my faith until I...I found love," He spoke looking at Shivji and Parvati Ma finding himself drowning in their essence and surrendering to their will.

"Your love made me pray and I prayed a lot to have you. Anika...I have only committed sins with these hands and for once to fold them and ask for mercy was different. The moment I connected to the divine was when I learned that love can only be given as an alm when one prays and surrenders to God..." His hands folding in an instant as he looked towards the divine finding himself entranced by them revealing the man he had become who now was completely imprisoning himself to God's will...the way one should be. A man like him who fed himself on the glory that others' gave him...who fed on greed and thirsted on dusting money now stands here confessing the blood of wrongdoing that his hands contain.

The sins this man has laid upon me are ones that I cannot easily allow to wither away, but it is wrong if I stand here after our union and continue to beat him for his deeds...The moment he loved me yesterday was the moment I threw his sins up in the air and prayed for the divine to burn them into crackled, fiery rivers to grant him mercy.

My hands shaking with the aarti thaali as I felt his hand slip underneath mine cusping the diya that held our single and last prayer that we hope to make. His gaze meeting mine through my veiled eyes finding himself entering a dream not able to believe I was once again standing by him as his bride.

"Anika...I chose a filthy path to get you...God may never forgive me for this..." He spoke with that looming shame dropping on him ensuring he would not fully able to realize his happiness tonight knowing how he had wronged me.

A smile touching me as I shook my head looking up at the divine allowing our hands to merge and continue to light our prayers in front of them. If he sinned then I would not be here besides him. If he sinned then we would not have reunited. If he sinned then I wouldn't be blessed with motherhood once again by this man.

"I cannot decide what deeds you have committed are wrong Shivaay. I cannot make that decision, but only God can. However what I do feel is that fate ensured you would poison my honor...It was written by fate that you shall sin and wrong me to have me again. One cannot control fate no matter how much one attempts to escape from its clutches. Lovers are made in the heavens and they only are allowed rebirth if they decide to bond only with each other..." My voice holding a daze that I found myself entering while beginning to admire the pure, sacred bond of Shivji and Parvati Ma.

Tears holding me still as I looked at them both finding a prayer fill me remembing their bond realizing how much each and every being begged for the purity shown in their bond.

Lowering my head, I whispered my prayer in silence reflecting the desire of the heart that now held its beats only for one man. "We and anyone else can never compete with the bond you both hold. None of us can. But if possible please bless Shivaay and I with strength to even attempt to fulfill our sacred vows with a pure heart. Please heal our wounds and allow us to only love....to only love each other and our children. Please bless us with love...relieve us of our sins and our flaws...please free us so we can only love...I beg of you..."

Opening my eyes, I looked to see our reflection hitting below the feet of the divine before us.

Weakly smiling, I looked up at him before slipping the aarti thaali out of his hands and holding it in mine.

Shivaay's eyes closed shut as he appeared to mutter many prayers without giving any hint of what they may be. "P-please f-forgive m-me...I know I s-sinned and I k-know I h-have w-wronged many, but please do not p-punish her and...and m-my children. They do not deserve the hell that I may have to walk through...Please make their sufferings mine. I promise to suffer for them...I promise to protect her...I promise to protect our children...Make m-me b-bear t-their s-sufferings....please..."

Tears escaping from my eyes with my palm pressing against my lips not able to bear hearing his prayer realizing the depth his love had dived into lakes of love from where lovers perhaps never return from. How can a man change so much due to love? Can solely love bring this change and how can it despite not being seen or felt? How can this love that one cannot even capture in their own palm still have this ability to capture the senses and imprison them to grace?

Lifting my gaze towards divine, I held my smile knowing it was due to their grace that the man I love finally is walking the path of truth.

"T-thank you...for answering this unsung prayer. For giving him back to me...I know he has wronged, but don't punish him please. He needs a chance and I want to give him one. Please do not punish him and please ease our path now...please allow us to have solace..." I held the prayer as I began to hiccup with tears now dreading down my cheeks not wanting to stop, but display the utter love that I felt at the moment for him.

My love is ugly...weak...disfigured...deformed and yet I still treasure it and always will for the man who is mine and will always be. A shade of red appearing in front of me as my heart began to stutter upon beats unable to come to terms with how that red shade was mine.

His palm shaking that held the silver box in which the symbol of love was delicately powdering itself. Looking through my veil, I found love running its fever through the man in front of me who found himself valuing the simple power as a gem that once endowed upon me would make me his forever.

"Anika...I...I want to make you mine in front of the blessings of the divine with only you and me being present. I want the divine to be the only witness to the moment we will scrape our wounds and allow our hearts to weave into each other once again. I want this moment of endowing you as my wife to only be ours and no one else's. I want this moment of me surrendering to our vows to only be ours'. Will you allow me to do such?" He spoke appearing to weaken and beg for his mercy knowing that once I am claimed to be his...he may reach a moment of mercy knowing he did some justice to me after bringing my reckoning.

My eyes capturing the sacred sindoor remembering how I had delicately placed it upon me ensuring its vows would liven my strength and give me the will to roam the dirty rivers that stream this reckless world. Shall I allow him to once again liven me and free me from these dirty rivers? Shall I allow him endow me with this symbol freeing me from the fear of the dirty and filthy viceful world knowing that he would be by my side to give me strength, but also protect me?

Wrapping my hand on my womb, I felt the two waiting in patience wanting me to bear that sindoor knowing it was enough to veil their honor that I myself had lifted with that fateful night on the beach.

"Y-yes...you are allowed to put this veil of honor upon not only me, but our children...Veil me with your love so I can always be yours'..."

I slightly smiled looking towards him as he bit his lip holding on to that shame that reveled upon him not allowing him to even look me the eyes knowing he had wronged us.

"Look me in the eyes and veil me. I want you to look into my eyes while placing this veil because you and I both know we both have committed injustice against these two precious beings. For us it was love, but for this dirty world it was a vice and still is. Veil me and make me yours' so no one can dare to ever question this nameless bond that we both have held since the first chapter..." I held a force in my voice wanting to pursue him to take the step knowing he held his reservations.

Memories of our first meeting after years touching me reminding me the barriers we held that rainy day before we shamelessly dropped those barriers and took an embrace that was enough to change our entire fate.

"Yes, I will veil you and our children with the dusts of honor that the divine still has allowed me to hold in my palm. I will give a name to our bond...I promise that as these dusts are placed in this parting of your hair, I will always veil you with my honor even if it means to sacrifice my own. I promise to not only protect you, but stand by you in every storm and every silence. I promise to commit the meaning and rules of love to only you...I promise to love only you and to only devout myself to you...I promise to worship only you besides the divine..." He sung the hymn with his eyes lifting their tunes as his fingers brushed the red dust.

His hand taking a grasp of my veil slowly lifting it up to reveal the woman he had wronged and now loves to a point that his demons are tortured not wanting to feel that love. Smiling weakly, he looked at me finding himself entrapped by my dull beauty.

Love soon reveled itself with his fingers running the sacred vow through my parting letting its dust settle on my wounded heart that began to realize how it was now bonded with the very man who had killed it.

A smile holding me in place as I looked towards him with tears now running within the both of us realizing how in an instant we had ripped the brute of separation and embraced the blessing of marriage right in front of the divine who had written our fate.

His hand entwining into mine as we looked back towards the divine finding ourselves thanking them once more knowing they had done everything to ensure we both would once again unite. The bitter toxic past is still between us, but it would be wrong to say the death of this past has not begun because it has. The death of the past and the birth of our love is happening in parallel and we both are choosing love knowing that is what we desire.

"Let us pray that the divine continues to bless our love and our children ensuring that no evil touches us and our family...we shall never separate henceforth and only further weave and thread our wounds with only love. Let us pray our love shall never die, but find itself enter eternity...." Shivaay speaking the hymn as I strung the tunes finding myself laying the prayer beneath the feet of the divine as we lowered ourselves taking their blessing.

Lifting ourselves once again, we held our prayers wishing for not only love, but the protection of our children knowing how fate had snatched our blessing before and now fearing such may happen again.

Opening my eyes, I looked at the five ladoos laying before me before I bent down gently placing them in my aarti thaali wanting to take the small blessing and finding a small craving coming from the twins who wanted to gorge upon them. Shame tinkering within me realizing I had taken all the ladoos.

https://youtu.be/ac76ujBIN5g

Looking up towards Shivaay, I found him continuing to pray as I smiled before turning around and encountering a small child standing behind us. A lull touching me as I looked at the child finding my heart beginning to increase its beats as if it found its own reflection in the innocence the child held.

Her palms cusping out towards me with her eyes closed shut as she continued to mumble her prayers. Smiling softly, I found myself captured by her naiveness she held reminding me...of how I had once admired it upon my own...blessing...my own daughter.

My eyes falling on my womb finding that dead root which even the twins didn't dare to hold knowing it belonged to the first blessing who had nurtured herself. Lifting my gaze up, I began to slowly walk towards her feeling that uneasy love I once held for my own blessing. It's unusual, but I feel as if...I paused the thought knowing it was impossible...

Kneeling down on my knees, I looked at her curiously admiring the charm she held...wishing she was my daughter. Her dark brown waves barely touching her shoulders as she bloated her chubby cheeks and arms appearing to beg for something.

I know I am having boys...The feeling is imminent that the two I carry are boys and somewhere I wished I had a girl...because somewhere I hoped that Chaaya came back as a girl, but I know I am having boys...the feeling is there and I wish I did not have it so I could have my daughter come back to me.

"Please Shiv ji and Parvati Ma ji...I want my ladoo...that is why I agreed to come here with Dixit aunty. I know Papa tells me I am bad girl for only coming here for ladoos...but I want them..." She continued to plead with her eyes tightly shut.

My eyes widening hearing her words realizing the adorable prayer as a giggle escaped from my lips. Looking at my thaali of ladoos, I bit my lip realizing that once again Anika the ladoo chor had struck. I remember how as I child I also only used to come to the mandhir for ladoos. Sorry God, but I love them, I thought looking back towards Shivji saying a sorry before looking towards her.

Grabbing the ladoo from my thaali, I placed it gently into her palms. Her eyebrows raising up in an instant with her prayers reaching a halt. Scrunching her cute little nose up, she appeared to smell the unknown blessing in her hand.

"Ladoo!" She exclaimed loudly opening her eyes and stunning me an instant as I looked through the veil finding that hazel shade which I admired many times...with my own daughter....Chaaya.

Her hazel eyes revealing how they only held paradise not any evil even daring to lurk near her just like Chaaya. Tears taking a grasp of me as I began to feel my womb tremble with my heartbeats falling into it wanting to touch that empty spot. My womb appearing to run roots of motherhood borne from seeing this child.

A giggle escaping from my lips as I looked at her finding myself adoring her while she looked at the ladoo licking her lips just the way I do.

"Yay! Thank you bhagvan ji!" She spoke loudly with excitement as I felt the elders beginning to glare at the cute little beast who dared to interrupt their prayers. A small laugh escaping from me hearing a loud cough from the elderly man behind me who was becoming irritated by our discussion.

My eyes falling to Shivaay who appeared unaffected and continued to chant hymns.

"Acha ji? You like ladoos meri jaan?" I questioned curiously with a giggle while she lowered her gaze shyly finding herself in the presence of an unknown stranger. My lines automatically escaping from me reminding me how I used to call Chaaya in the same manner when she was safe in my womb and when I cradled her against my bosom.

"What happened? Don't be scared now...I am not like the scary oldies there..." I whispered pointing to them who continued to glare at us as we had shamelessly disrupted their prayers.

Letting out a sudden giggle, eeringly similar to mines', she clasped the ladoo against her mouth before looking towards me. "No...you shouldn't say that! Papa told me it is bad if we talk bad about those who are big, big than us...even though he is also mean to them..." She whispered loudly before raising her hands up in the air trying to make me understand.

My smile widening as I looked into her hazel eyes encaptured by them as they held that naivity just like Chaaya. Lowering my gaze, I looked at her up and down realizing she was about the age Chaaya would have been.

A chill going down my spine reminding myself of that day when she was snatched from my bosom and forever gone.

"Well your Papa must be very nice hm?" I spoke with my voice shaking feeling tears latching on to me tightly. She smiled and shook her head before lowering her eyes and looking at my thaali of ladoos finding herself tempted by them.

Biting her lip, she tugged on her long red dress before sighing. "Um...thank you for ladoo," She spoke softly before turning around running towards the entrance. Her feet suddenly slipping as she collapsed on to the ground.

My heart jumping finding itself ferment with a dark, crumbling mold bringing me back to the moment when Chaaya was clawed out from my arms. Fear mixing into my blood and diving into my womb as I began to run towards her with sudden screams from that day beginning to ring in my ears from that black day.

Clasping my hands around her, I grabbed a hold of her as she began to whimper. "Beta...are you okay?" My voice quivering with tears running down my cheeks as I felt Chaaya running in front of my eyes reminding me of how due my negligence she was taken by death.

Running my hands through her hair, I found her continuing to whimper with her hand rubbing her knee that was beginning to bleed.

That dark, vicious fear from that sinister day slowly running back to me as I grabbed a hold of her knee and picked her up in my arms. I felt my soul lifting itself up finding the touch familiar...that subtle, endearing touch that I have only felt once with Chaaya.

Quickly walking out of the entrance, I ran up to the small office at the corner knowing there must be a first aid kit there.

"Beta please don't cry okay? It's only a small cut...you are brave right? Come on don't cry now..." I began to whisper to her trying to divert her attention.

Suddenly her hands pulling me into an embrace letting my heart lift up recognizing a piece of it in the precious child I was holding...as if she was my own.

Her precious tears engraving themselves upon delicate roots of my heart. Stumbling into the empty office, I looked at the shelf finding a first aid kit which I immediately took hold of and rushed out near the entrance.

Placing her next to me on a cement bench, I quickly opened the kit and took out a small bottle of rubbing alcohol.

"No! This hurts!" She exclaimed loudly seeing the bottle before trying to push her knee away while I took hold of it.

"Meri jaan it will not hurt...I promise. We have to put this to make sure you do not get sick. Do you like being sick?" I questioned putting her to silence as she began to chew on her lip before grabbing on to me tightly making me shiver feeling that same healing touch I found before.

"No! I hate being sick...but please this hurts no?" She mumbled in a small baby voice while I slightly smiled as I took the piece of cotton and began to near it on her knee.

"You like ladoos right?" I noted to her trying to divert her attention. Her eyes shooting to the clumped ladoo she held in her palm not once having let go of it despite the fall.

"Yeah! Ladoo my favorite....Papa calls me a ladoo chor because when I come to mandhir, I steal lots of ladoos!" She chimed while I giggled dabbing the alcohol on her knee as she began to laugh finding herself unaware that the bitter alcohol was soaking the poisons of her knee.

Ladoo chor? That is what Shivaay calls me as well aware of how I have a bad habit of stealing ladoos from the mandhir. An unusual commonality creating curiosity within me as I looked at her while she began to chew on her ladoo though tempted by those in the aarti thaali next to me. It's odd, but I feel as if I know her though the memory is a blur.

Grabbing a small band aid, I opened it while she continued to relish in delight on the ladoo forgetting the small cut she had received. Chaaya was always like her as well...crying in an instant, but moments latter babbling and giggling completely forgetting origins of her tears. I remember admiring her how she easily moved on unlike me who is always stuck on rough, threatening currents.

"There done! See that did not hurt you silly!" I exclaimed with cheer while she began to giggle looking at her knee and tapping it gently to test if it had been repaired properly by the mechanic.

Raising her eyebrow, she looked at the masterpiece to see if I had done justice to it while I began to giggle seeing her judge my work.

"Wow...it did not hurt! Dixit aunty and Papa should learn from you how to heal boo boos...They always make me cry and then I run and then they run after me...then I get mad...very mad! And then they try to give me ladoos so I can get my boo boo fixed!" She panted continuing to change her expression from joy to anger to pride to make the story expressive with her grammar and sentences tumbling together.

My smile widening as I looked at her while she continued to lick her fingers and consume the smallest crumb of ladoos. "Oh! Look that is my puppy!" Her small attention span bubbling out as she pointed towards a small brown puppy at the distance who was barking towards the visitors.

Chuckling, I got up slowly before helping her on to the ground while she grabbed a hold of my hand finding herself believing that I am a safe stranger she can trust. Her hand linking into mine and holding on to my thumb reminding me of the tiny fingers that once held my thumb in the same manner before letting go forever.

"Isn't your dog a little demon? He is barking at others sweetie...I do not think that is too nice..." I noted gently seeing the puppy continuing to spew his craving of meat from the smell of strangers that appeared tempting.

She snickered slightly before looking at her puppy. "I know! That is why I like him! I take him to the park so he can scare the kids who try to tease me you know?...My doggy does not bark at me, but everyone else so I like him!" She jeered with excitement making me erupt in laughter hearing her small demonic plan...And I thought that this level of high-grade planning can only be done by my husband, but no fate has created other little cute monsters like Shivaay.

"Hehehe...but Papa does not like my doggy. He hates that dog!" She scrunched her nose while furrowing her eyebrows in anger.

"Awww...hate is a big word beta. Do you know that?" I spoke with curiosity while she began to dance on her feet finding herself impatient by standing in one place for too long.

"I know! Papa tells me hate is a big word, but I am not lying. I never lie. Papa hates my doggy. I cried a lot to get the doggy. I even lied to him that I did not eat for a day, so I could get my puppy!" She confessed barely in a low voice. Her hazel eyes lowering in shame knowing how she had cheated her father out. Clasping my hand against my mouth, I looked at her in shock realizing what a wit this small child has in holding command of her father using that innocent face though nurturing little devilish thoughts.

"Okay! I go inside and pray or Dixit aunty will get sad that I forgot bhagvan ji..." She muttered while stretching her teeth out knowing she was making a mistake not indulging in prayers.

Letting go of my hand, she ran inside while I continued to laugh, at her silliness combined with a tinge of wit, as I grabbed my thaali before following her inside.

Walking inside, I saw her sitting next to the pillar with her eyes wandering to my thaali that held ladoos. She appeared to lick her dry lips while looking at the ladoos as a deep hunger within her was growling and pressuring her to steal the ladoos.

My smile widening finding a piece of my heart reaching to her as if she was a part of me. Something about her is familiar, perhaps, because she is a reflection of Chaaya which is why I feel the need to converse with her for a moment wanting to live in the illusion that my Chaaya would have been exactly like her.

I made my way towards her before looking back at Shivaay who held his prayers. Walking slowly, I took a seat next to her as she looked up at me finding herself relishing over the ladoo.

"You want more ladoos don't you now?" I noted slowly moving the thaali back and forth in front of her eyes as she gulped and licked her lips looking at them.

Sticking out her lower lip, she puffed out her cheeks before letting out a small whine. "No. I cannot have more. Dixit aunty will get upset and tell Papa..." She mumbled.

"Is Dixit aunty? Is Papa here as well?" I questioned realizing she was sitting alone without any company with her and no one even came when she got wounded.

She nodded immediately before pointing towards an elderly woman at the distance who was continuing to rotate her rosary and found herself lost in prayers.

"That is Dixit aunty. She nice, but she scolds me when I eat sweets. Papa told her that I cannot eat sweets!" She whined while throwing her head up in the air as I began to giggle looking at her finding her adorable and seeing a reflection of a five-year old me who used to whine in the same manner when my parents didn't allow me to eat sweets.

"Well Papa not here and Dixit aunty praying. Have one more and it will be our secret. But after this only one ladoo. Be a good girl and listen to them okay?" I noted pointing my finger towards her as she lifted a wide smile looking at me excitedly before yelping and looking at the ladoos I had.

She folded her palms immediately as I smiled moving the thaali back and forth in front of her eyes trying to tease her while she waited patiently unlike other children who would lunge upon the ladoos. Strangely, she is behaving exactly like me who holds this patience dearly while waiting for something I want.

I remember as a child, I was just like her. Shy, yet full of curiosity, but holding back due to teachings. I could tell she has received good values and no wonder she is holding her patience not once moving.

"Please don't tease me..." She muttered as I let out a small laugh and grabbed the ladoo before placing it in her palm.

Her palm immediately pushing the ladoo into her mouth as she took a whole bite of it. My eyes widening, seeing her gorging and gobbling like a little baby chick upon the ladoo.

Smiling, I looked at her realizing how much I wish I have a daughter...precious and full of life just like her. I really want Chaaya's reflection in my daughter, but my heart is telling me that I am having sons. Sighing, I placed my hand on my womb telling them that I still loved them knowing fate has decided despite desiring a daughter who would be a shadow of Chaaya.

"Beta be careful!" I noted while she continued to bite on it loudly looking towards Dixit aunty worrying she might see her.

Shaking my head, I looked at her finding myself captivated by her cuteness feeling emptiness realizing my Chaaya may have just been like her.

"No...I have to...finish...before she see's..." She mumbled continuing to chew and gulp remnants of the ladoo. Smiling, I placed my hand on her head finding my heart jumping and skipping finding familiarity in the touch with a sudden calm lifting itself upon me realizing that...this solace found was only when I...held Chaaya.

A sudden force grabbing on to my veil capturing my attention as I found her small little hands grasping on to my pallu that veiled my face. She tilted her head trying to peer through the veil and see who was underneath it, but failing.

Laughing, I pulled myself back holding on to my veil. "What are you doing silly?!" I exclaimed as she continued to tilt her head back and forth trying to see me.

"Why are you looking like....that daayan from that show Dixit aunty watches? Are you her?!" Her question making my mouth gape open as I looked at her trying to see if she was joking, but she was not as she held a serious look holding a haunting fear.

"Oh no...don't eat me okay? I promise not to steal ladoos anymore at the mandhir. Oh no...Dixit aunty told me I would get punished...by a...a... b-bhoo-tni if I continued to steal ladoos... but I did not listen...are you a bhoot-ni?" She asked with her voice shaking as I clasped my hands against my mouth trying to surpress a laugh reminded of how an hour ago, I had masked myself as a bhootni and went on a rampage of scaring my in laws.

"You silly, I am not a bhootni...Don't worry I won't eat you okay meri jaan?" I spoke gently trying to handle her anxious nerves which were bubbling within her. Grabbing my hands, I gently wiped away the crumbs on her cheeks finding myself adoring her.

She took a breath of relief as she quickly nodded trying to peer towards me once again. "Then why I cannot see you?" She questioned curiously as I smiled patting my hand on her head.

"Because my mummy is very mean. She told me before I become a dulhan, I have to cover my face when I come outside. Very mean mummy..." I spat bitterly remembering Ma's long lecture on how on the day of the wedding, I have to veil my face in front of everyone because apparently I might get an evil eye even in the mandhir.

I attempted to argue of course, but has mom ever listened to me? Never. So, the moment I got out of the car and veiled my face to come here, Shivaay continued to growl and grumble not liking it one bit while I myself continued to mentally curse the idea.

"Hehehe...no! Mommies are nice!" She remarked with pride as she continued to bobble her head up and down finding herself barely holding on to patience amongst the prayers that were going on.

"Hmmm....meaning your mommy is very nice right?" I noted as her eyes appeared to soften with her smile dropping a tempo appearing to ponder over the question.

"Well Papa says my mommy very nice. She is superhero who saves other people. She is a...a...doc...doc-tor..." She attempted to say the word trying to remember while I clasped my hand in my lap looking towards her.

"Doctor..." I completed her sentence as her smile widened immediately shaking her head.

"Yes! My mommy is a doctor and Papa tells me she is very nice. She is very pretty. I have her photo...I will soon meet mommy. Papa make promise," She chimed as I felt my heart flutter realizing perhaps she has never seen her mother.

Tears lifting themselves out of my eyes as I looked at her weak smile realizing her lack of awareness of the type of home she likely grew up in...a broken home where she likely never had a mother's love, but only a father's. This child does not even know her truth...A sense of discomfort settling into my womb as I began to feel uneasy feeling an essence of Chaaya lifting on to my soul...

As if she is close, but not seen. Perhaps, this child is her reflection which is why I might be feeling this way. It would be a dream to wish Chaaya's return knowing she is now in a place from where she may never come back.

"Do you love your mumma?" I questioned finding curiosity in how this child may know a mother that she may not have seen.

Her hazel eyes lifting themselves up as she looked at me with a faint smile. "Of course, I love my mommy! Papa tells me that he loves me the most, but mommy loves me the most most most....Hehehe...Papa also looooves mommy a lot," She noted giggling and stretching her arms wide again as I looked at her confused not able to believe how she loves her mother despite never seeing her and finding it odd how her father has taught to love her despite her never being with her.

Her naiveness taking a firm grasp of my heart that wanted to embrace her and pray that she was my own despite knowing she isn't...What does it feel like to have a daughter like her who only knows how to love even those that never loved her back?

"How do you know Papa loves your mommy?" I spoke fixing her hair finding myself admiring their waves. Indeed, it is a curious question how does her father continue to love her mother who never took care of her? Where is her mother and why isn't she with her?

She sung a tune as she shrugged her shoulder with playfulness seen in her eyes. "Well...Papa always looks at mommy's photo with a goofy smile...I see it in tv shows that when boy looks at a girl's picture with smile then he looooves her..." She again stretched her vowels as I giggled hearing her theory realizing she is not acquainted with the realms of love, but has certain ideas of what it may be with the witty mind she carries.

"So you are dulhan meaning shaadi shaadi!" She spoke cheerfully with her cheeks turning bright red in excitement as she looked at me.

A giggle escaping from me hearing her lines as I looked at her curiously wanting to know what exactly she defined as a shaadi?

"Shaadi shaadi? Do you even know what a shaadi is?" I questioned as she began to tap her fingers against her cheek trying to rack her memory on what the definition of a shaadi is.

"Yeah...the tv shows Dixit aunty watches shows dulhan coming and marrying a dulha. There is lots of food...dancing...and then...dulha changes!" Her last line catching me off guard feeling quite confused by her statement while she began to follow the prayers now loudly being chanted.

"Dulha changes? What?" I whispered loudly while she shrugged her shoulders as if what she said was the truth.

"Yes...Dixit aunty watches TV show. On that show, when shaadi happens, dulha changes. Always. Will your dulha also change?" She asked curiously if what she had said was the actual truth.

A sudden loud laugh erupting from me realizing this poor child only had gotten her definition from shaadis from dramas that she likely was forced to watch. Oh God...what will happen once she grows up and realizes that she can never change her groom on the last minute?

"Acha ji...so if you become a dulhan then will you also change your dulha?" I questioned in a lowered voice as her smile widened before she began to shake her head immediately.

"Yes! Papa tells me to not talk such nonsense! But...I know I will change my dulha...It seems fun! Very fun! When dulha changes then love happens!" She claimed as my mouth gaped open hearing her realizing she might be seeing a bit of too much from dramas...Love? How does she know what love is at this age? What is she watching? Oh God...who supervises her? And what about her father who is allowing her to watch such shows?

My eyes shooting up to Shivaay as he sat at a distance from me. Shaking my head, I looked at the little girl realizing she likely has a father like Shivaay. Carefree and ready to let his children run around wildly...yep. Why do I have a feeling Shivaay will be exactly like this with the twins?

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to keep calm while letting a fit of giggles erupt from me realizing the a fantasy this little angel was living in completely unaware of how the real world works.

"Okay...can you show me your face? I want to see how you look like...I promise I am no evil eye..." She cooed looking towards me as I smiled weakly looking towards her finding her innocence captivating me and reeling my heart.

I don't know what it is, but I feel as if I know her...There is a familiarity with her that is odd. I have always been detached from children since...Chaaya left, but ever since I have become pregnant and seeing this blessing in front of me...I feel the roots of motherhood grasping on to my womb and running my heartbeats.

"Okay, let me show you my face..." I whispered softly while she waited patiently with a subtle smile finding herself entranced by the mystery of who was behind the veil.

Placing my fingertips on my veil, I began to lift it up ready to unveil my features and flaws to her.

"Beta! Come sit here!" A voice calling towards us as I immediately looked up hearing Dixit aunty gesturing the little child to come towards her.

The little being suddenly jumping up as she looked back towards me. "Uff oh! I have to go or if I do not listen to Dixit aunty then Papa will get mad mad...When Papa mad, he little scary. I call him little monster..." She blubbered as I giggled before patting her cheek.

"But Papa nice no?" I spoke looking at her while she danced on her feet finding herself full of bundled energy likely from the sweets she had hungrily crumpled upon.

"Yes! Papa very nice! Papa only nice to me...He never get's mad at me...but he is little monster to everyone else...but he loves me and I loooove him a lot..." She stretched her arms wide trying to show the amount of love her father pampers her with and the love she treasures for him.

Biting my lip, I graced my palm on her head. "Bless you beta. May you always be happy and always smile...and may you always get lots of love from mumma and papa..." I spoke my blessing to her as she nodded trying to show she understood even though she likely didn't considering she lacks complete awareness of the evils that surround in this viceful world.

She began to wave her hand back and forth towards me. "Bye bye! Now bye! Thank you again!" She called out before skidding and running towards Dixit aunty who wrapped her into a hug.

Tears gracing my cheeks as I looked towards her with my womb now beginning to bulge and unable to bear how its own seed had been ripped from it and taken by cruel hands who will never return her back. Screams and sudden wails erupting in my ears from that haunting day when I found that I had lost Chaaya forever. A darkness veiling upon me as I began to feel my body shaking with death dancing on my womb taunting me how I had failed as a mother.

My eyes following the child once again feeling an odd energy escaping from her and touching my womb finding familiarity in her compared to Chaaya...feeling as if she was my daughter despite knowing I was living in a delusion. Her hazel eyes holding the world's innocence while her smile being enough to heal a wound...each and every feature of hers' reminiscent of Chaaya...features enough to chime the rails of my heart of whose part had forever been taken with Chaaya.

How can she be my daughter? What am I thinking? Chaaya has reached the heavens then why would she be here? She cannot be...

Clasping my hands together, I began to whimper remembering Chaaya as I looked at the divine knowing I could not question their decision, but only praying and hoping that beyond any prayer, they shall continue to safeguard my daughter until I come there...that the divine shall continue to love her and make her feel loved until I am able to hold her against my bosom and lay my love upon her once I meet her in paradise.

Dragging my feet out of the mandhir, I began to remember the moment I lost Chaaya...finding the memory fresh and enough to scratch the flesh of my wound that ruptured once again remembering how Chaaya escaped as a withering soul up to the divine.

Shivaay's Point of View

Keeping my hands clasped together, I continued to sing my prayers and curse my sins begging for forgiveness knowing it was needed the most today when finally I would be with my love. I need mercy and I know the divine will not give it to me easily considering the blood of sin that has laced these palms forever depriving them from even laying a step in paradise.

I know I will be punished after death for the deeds I have committed...No man who sins and wrongs is ever spared and I know I will not be. But, I still will keep my faith and continue to love God knowing He has blessed me even when I hit my worse...blessed me with a woman who is who only loves and never hates. A woman who always values her honor above anything. A woman who loves me more than anyone ever has...A woman who does not deserve me, but still continues to embrace every shade of mine and love it...

I don't know what good deed I committed to get her, but please snatch everything from me except this love...Please snatch away everything except my wife and my children. Please do not make them suffer...I promise to continue to guard my family....protect them...cherish them and love them, but please make me suffer and punish me never them. Please I beg of you....

I continued to hold my prayers as I felt a pair of small feet approaching me trying to capture my attention.

Suddenly small hands wrapping around my eyes as my heart shot up realizing whose touch it was....a touch that was a part of me, but now was stitched into her soul...a touch that was borne from my own blood in the moment that I was at worst...knowing death would come, but she and her mother were the ones who saved me.

A wide smile reaching my lips as I grabbed the pair of hands before beginning to kiss them gently. "Guess whoooo?" She chimed her last line as I let out a small laugh finding her wrapping her arms tightly around my neck pulling me into a hug.

"Hmmm...let me see...I cannot remember..." I spoke pretending to tap my chin to fool her silly mind while she gasped loudly just like her mother realizing she perhaps was not the center of my world. I swear, her and her mother pretend to not crave admiration, but both of them do and I have personal experience on that.

"What?! You do not remember you own...only...daughter?!" Chaaya exclaimed dramatically as I began to laugh loudly before grabbing her arm and pulling her in front of me.

My hands taking a hold of her chubby cheeks as she furrowed her eyebrows showing that same hint of anger like Anika. "Papa ki jaan, how can I forget you? You are meri jaan! My only jaan..." I declared with pride knowing it was enough to melt that little beast in her.

She let out a small giggle before wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into a hug. "Papa...I missed you...lots..." She claimed with cheer while I smiled looking up and noticing Mrs. Dixit standing in front of me who smiled fraily brushing her hand on Chaaya's head.

"Beta she was missing you and Anika a lot...I am glad she saw you here. The moment she saw you, she began to run towards you..." Mrs. Dixit noted as I felt my heart dropping hearing her lines with a tear drowning my cheek realizing how much I have wronged my own daughter by depriving her of love.

I had to choose between love or protecting her from those who detested her viciously. I have to protect her and keep her safe. She is safe now, but this world is not made for the innocent...A scream latching into my ear with a memory hitting me in an instant reminding me of that innocence I once held before someone clawed away....clawing it and replacing it with the flesh of wickedness that I continue to embrace.

A small pale band aid appearing in my sight as I looked at her knee with my heart beginning to erratically beat realizing she had a wound. "Chaaya! What is this?! What happened?!" My fear lunging on to me as screams from the sinister day began to erupt inside of me reminding me that day she received wounds herself from those who snatched her away.

"Papa! It is a small boo boo...a nice aunty fixed my boo boo..." She spoke with a wide smile as if the cut she had was nothing and only a mere scratch. Surprisingly, she had no tears and not a complaint considering how she wrecks havoc upon seeing a small hint of blood.

"Mrs. Dixit where were you when this happened? I...I trust you, but you do know that I do not even like a scratch on my Chaaya. She should be the priority over anything else and that is why I have handed her to you," I held my anger knowing Mrs. Dixit has been the one who has brought up Chaaya and herself is a mother figure to me, but I cannot deny that there has been some negligence involving Chaaya.

Mrs. Dixit sighing and holding on to her patience appearing to be on the edge of her temper she was about to lose.

"She actually ran away and that is when she fell. I was praying and my mind was diverted or else I would have ensured she was safe..." She muttered while Chaaya continued to sing a tune unaware of how she broken another rule we had set.

Grabbing her cheek, I forced her to look into my eyes while she gave me a bright smile. "Meri jaan, we have talked many times about you staying next to your Dixit aunty and not wandering away. Right? Then why did you run away? You are my life Chaaya...and if I lose you then what will I do? Papa loves you a lot and if you leave him then what will Papa do?" My lips beginning to quiver feeling tears pulling themselves into my eyes.

Tears touching her eyes just like Anika who softens immediately to even a bit of love received from the other.

"Papa no...I am sorry. I promise I will not run away...I will always stay with you because Chaaya loooves her Papa...I am so sorry..." She mumbled the words in her mouth with her small hands wiping my tears enough to stitch my fears, of losing her, with her simple love.

My eyes closing shut as I pulled Chaaya closer before kissing her cheek gently wanting to express my love for her knowing it was needed to let her know she is loved and the dearest to my heart. She is my first born...my heir. She is my heart...she is my being...and she is my life just like her mother. No one can even touch the love I have for my daughter not even the twins. Chaaya will always be the dearest to me because she is the one who saved me...and pulled me out of those cages in which I dipped myself in day and night without any shame.

Lifting my gaze, I looked around searching for Anika, but not finding her. Taking a breath of relief, I continued to hug Chaaya finding poison of shame dripping its way through me considering how close the mother daughter are and I cannot unite them knowing that...perhaps if I do then everything will fall and go down.

Anika is still in a state of shock from her wedding being called off, due to me, and then her father suffering along with her sudden pregnancy. If she finds out Chaaya is alive then I know she will fall apart and her falling apart will only create more havoc in our wedding and if she forgoes the wedding then the twins' lives will be tarnished due to my deeds.

"Chaaya misses you a lot Papa...I love you..." She mumbled looking into my eyes and revealing a precious love as I kissed her forehead. Her love being enough to string me out of my demons and collide back to a guiltless fantasy that she has woven in which I am not an apparition, but merely a guardian.

"I love you too meri jaan. Papa loves you the most, but less than mumma...I hope you remember," I whispered trying to shake the thought into her as she gave me a bright smile before kissing my cheek.

Chaaya has a piece of my heart. My heart continues to force itself to live dependent on the love it has formed for her, but it would be wrong that my love is more than the woman who has nourished, shared her blood with her, and cradled her as a treasure against her bosom from dusk till dawn.

"I know...I know. You told me many times. Papa loves me the most, but mumma loves me the most most most..." She began to repeat her words just like her mother as I chuckled and rubbed her head while she gave me a toothy grin.

It would be wrong to say Chaaya is not Anika's reflection because she completely is. All these years the only way I have lived is by seeing Anika living and breathing through Chaaya.

"Did you eat ladoos again?" I noted with a serious tone seeing a crumb on her lip which she licked immediately and lowered her gaze knowing she was in trouble.

"I...I...ate two..." She muttered with shame making my eyes widen hearing her confession as she flashed me her smile knowing it was enough to let her off the hook.

A complete ladoo chor just like Anika. I don't know what obsession these two have with stealing ladoos from the mandhir and gobbling them up. God knows how I will handle these two...? A small laugh escaping from me as I shook my head imagining the scene in my mind how both will run around as a ladoo chor gang.

"Remember what dentist said? You will get worms in your teeth if you eat too much sweets!" I attempted to scold her despite miserably failing it as always.

Chaaya's eyes shooting up as she clasped her hands against her cheeks. "Nahi! No! No! I do not want worms in my mouth! No!" She began to jump up and down with her voice echoing through the prayer hall. Everyone's eyes turning towards us finding themselves annoyed by the little child.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I hissed at them and threw them a smug before lifting Chaaya up in my arms and walking towards the entrance. Who do they think throwing looks towards my daughter? Have they never seen children? This is the exact reason I rarely bring Chaaya to public places...I do not want anyone to curse at my daughter due to their own flawed minds.

My eyes catching an elderly man continuing to glare at her. "What are you looking at uncle ji? Please pray...your time is coming and yet here you are glaring and cursing children! Have some shame!" I spat angrily looking at him as he waved me off.

"Well teach your daughter how to behave in a temple! She has been running and talking loudly disturbing all of us!" He taunted viciously as I began to feel my temper scratching loudly against my heart.

I attempted to hold my anger knowing not to show it in front of Chaaya as she has been upset with the temper I have shown on my employees lately.

"Papa no!" Chaaya exclaimed hitting my chest lightly as if detecting my state of mind. Taking a firm hold of the bugs of fury within me, I took deep breaths before making my way out towards the temple steps.

"No little monster! No!" She continued to scold me as I felt a faint smile hearing the nickname she has given me recently due to the supposed temper tantrums I have been having on the staff.

"Okay fine...I am not getting mad alright?" I spoke in a lowered tone to her trying to show my anger was slowly losing its ground knowing it was essential to calm the anxious soul she was.

"Good Papa! Good boy..." She muttered patting my head harshly as if I was her puppy. Her annoying puppy that she had gotten with many nights of tears and annoying tantrums that involved going on a hunger strike if she did not get that damned puppy.

"Beta...I am not that dog...ok?" I gritted my teeth with patience remembering that wretched puppy which I completely despise at the moment and am doing my best to convince her to let go.

Suddenly a bark erupting loudly as I shook and jumped back seeing that cursed, dark brown furball in front of me.

"What the?! What is he doing here?!" I yelled looking towards Mrs. Dixit who wandered her eyes away indicating she had agreed to bring that dog here.

"Yay! Milo! Milo! Miloooo!" She began to sing his name loudly finding herself leaning towards him while he began to leap up and jump towards her in excitement before looking back at me and throwing me a growl.

"Why did you bring him here Chaaya? And Mrs. Dixit how did you agree?" My voice hitting a louder chord while they kept lull aware of my hatred for this wretched dog.

"Chaaya was begging to take him out for fresh air and bring him here to the mandhir, so I agreed..." Mrs. Dixit barely squeaking her voice.

"I loooove Milo Papa! I looove him..." Chaaya claimed grabbing my jaw and forcing me to look into her bright hazel eyes, full of cheer, while she claimed her "love" for that wild creature. The way she stretches her vowels is adorable, yet, hits my weak point which she is completely aware of. Chaaya appears innocent just like her mother, but she knows how reign me just like her mother.

Sometimes I wish Chaaya had gotten at least one trait of mine, but no she only has taken my trademark words and rest is all Anika colored over her. I thank my blessings for such, but not in moments like these when she commands me like her mother.

"Acha ji? More than Papa and mumma huh?" I questioned as she snickered and kissed my cheek one more time.

"No silly! I love you both, but I also love my Milo..." She whined trying to convince me before reaching towards that creature that continued to snarl at me before changing his shade and bewitching Chaaya with those beady, big brown eyes.

"Waise what made you both come here to the mandhir?" I questioned Mrs. Dixit as she smiled before placing her hand lovingly against Chaaya's cheek.

"Actually, beta she wanted to come here and thank God because He finally listened. He finally is reuniting her with her mother..." She spoke softly as I looked at Chaaya who smiled not once letting it falter despite knowing I had wronged her.

How must she be feeling at moment? How must she feel knowing that she will soon meet her mother who she hasn't ever seen since she has been able to take a small grasp of this world?

Fate is cruel at times...it rips bonds without any regrets and lets the thunder of separation fall upon even sacred relationships. Fate spares no one not even mother and daughter...a virginal bond that the divine has blessed on us. If I had power over fate, I would never have even allowed it to lay its eye on the love between Anika and Chaaya...never...but what could I do? I was bonded by my promise...Anika told me to always pick Chaaya above her and that is what I did...I picked Chaaya to save her...even if it meant the death of our marriage.

Tears blurring my vision as I diverted my thoughts and looked at Chaaya who laid in silence on my shoulder and continued to hug me.

"But beta...there is a small problem..." Mrs. Dixit interrupting my thoughts making me look towards in with confusion not able to understand what the problem may be.

"What's the problem?" I spoke before pulling Chaaya closer into my arms finding my heartbeats continuing to drop seeing her smiling completely unaware of how cruelty had snatched her mother from her.

"Chaaya has her violin concert in Paris in five days and she has to leave very soon to practice there and then perform. I am sorry the thought slipped from my mind, but how can you and Anika beta be able to meet her since she leaves tomorrow morning?" Her words lifting a sense of sudden shock with my memory hitting me that this week is Chaaya's concert that too her first one.

Tightening my grip around her, I looked at her seeing her smile drop in an instant revealing how much she wanted to meet her mother, but knowing perhaps that is not a possibility.

"My Chaaya loves playing the violin right?" Chaaya lifting her gaze revealing her tears with her lips quivering.

"B-but I love mommy. I want to see her," She blubbered as she let her tears slip by which I wiped away before kissing her cheek.

She loves her mother and I know it seen in the way she holds her picture and continues to lay kisses upon it....the way she talks to Anika's picture as if she is listening to her...and the way she always continues to mention her mother as if mentioning her would be enough to bring her instantly. Chaaya loves her mother despite never seeing her and now knowing she might still not be able to meet her is something that the thin chords of her heart may not be able to handle.

"Papa's jaan doesn't cry. How many times have I told you to not cry and here you are just like your mumma always crying..." I remarked while Chaaya let out a giggle hearing her mother's mention which she always liked to hear finding comfort in the thought she holds her reflection.

A smile touching my lips as I began to think of an idea that was crackling in my mind that could solve both of these two problems and weave the mother and daughter back together.

"My Chaaya will go to Paris to play the violin, but also meet her mumma. Both mumma and papa will be there to listen to you playing the violin and then mumma will meet you...You do want to show your mumma how much talent you have right?" I spoke with cheer with the idea now bubbling in my mind with excitement realizing this was the way to unite both of them in peace where both can meet alone and share a moment without others' interferences.

"Yes! I want mumma to see me play...but I want to see mumma soon..." Her plea grappling to me as I felt guilt tugging on my soul that had dared to take her away from her mother despite not wanting to.

"Beta I know that you want to see mumma, but only five days nah? I promise once you meet mumma then mumma will stay with you and love you forever. You, mumma, and me all will live together in a nice new home and then we will have so much fun! Mumma will be so happy seeing you and she will love you much more than even me!"

I held my tears trying to play off the cheer despite fearing that Anika and my bond may change once Chaaya's truth comes to light....Anika will not leave me that I know, but I do know that once she finds out my path to redemption will no longer be easy...And yes I do not want an easy path...I want to suffer the way Anika has suffered due to me.

"Okay...I will wait, but I want my mumma forever! Promise?" She held her hand out for me with a fragile hope that she wants me to fulfill. I slightly smiled placing my hand in hers' knowing this is a promise that I can fulfill and will do everything to ensure it never cracks.

"Promise meri jaan....I promise mumma will be with you and love you forever..." My voice hitting a hush with my eyes wandering realizing Anika was not in sight before I looked below the steps seeing her walking down them.

The dirt beneath me not even wanting to lay its filth upon me knowing I am worse than that. My sinful hands trembling while I stood still knowing how I have wronged them both due to my own past...a past that never has dared to let go of me no matter what.

Anika's Point of View

Taking a step to the side, I leaned against the wall finding a weakness touch my womb with that hallow space setting in and making its presence known reminding me of the daughter I had lost...A daughter that I bore out of myself...a daughter who made me relish the taste of motherhood that I never thought I would have...She was the seed who lifted my barren womb and gave it life.

Look at me...I didn't appreciate this blessing and I lost her...If only I held on to her tightly...If only I fought against time who snatched her out of my arms forever. How could I do that to my own daughter? And how can I move on now with the twins without her?...I need her. I will always be incomplete without her...no one can take her place in my heart not even the twins...No one.

Tears hitting their drums as I continued to hiccup and stutter feeling Chaaya's presence still lingering upon me even after all these years...and today when I met that child...her touch reminded me of Chaaya...Her eyes devoid of evil...Her smile enough to relieve one from their own gray, dull soul...Her naivity....all of it was Chaaya...and yet she is not my Chaaya.

"Anika! Anika!" His voice shaking me as I lifted my gaze seeing him running down the steps. My hands taking hold of my tears wiping them away knowing if he finds out I am tearing over Chaaya...he also will break down considering Chaaya was the dearest to him...the one who dared him to abandon his vicious ways.

"Y-yes...What is it?" I attempted to play off a normal, sarcastic tone while Shivaay rolled his eyes looking at the ladoos in the palm of my hand.

"Ah...the ladoo chor has struck again this time dressed as a nice Punjabi bhootni!" He announced with his eyes holding a teasing gaze enough to incite my temper. My elbow bellowing against his stomach making him howl loudly feeling the blunt blow.

"Oh laatu...Daayans ka kandaan tumhare hai mera nahi! Aur modern rakshasa kudh tumhare kandaan se nikhle hai mujhe lakta hai!" I spat angrily finding some shame in how I had cursed his family knowing it was wrong, but this man annoys me to the core and he knows it.

I began to walk down the steps while hearing Shivaay erupting into laughter not once taking the words harshly rather fancying the insult. Grabbing another ladoo, I began to munch on it in frustration knowing its sweetness may help to kill the bitter poison Shivaay had inserted with his insult.

"Anika I am sorry! Don't be mad now! I was joking baby!" He called after me as I suddenly felt my feet slipping against the floor. A scream erupting from me ready to collapse before a hand grabbed on to mine lifting my legs up in the air.

Meeting his gaze, I found him cradling me back to safety with his arms wrapping around me tightly. Looking through my veil finding red shaded all over him indicating how he was brushed with my love. Heartbeats crashing with waves of love rushing between us while he treasured me as a bride. His feet moving down the steps holding me in his arms finding himself entering a haze of fantasy finding me only in it.

A shy smile touching my lips as I found myself admiring his features that appeared to poison me slowly with doses of love. His features have always captured me, but the way today they are colored with my love makes me want to adore him and love him the way he loves me.

"Bhootnis also blush...I did not know that..." He whispered huskily as I threw him a glare despite letting the smile continuing to play on my lips.

His eyes wandering down the drapes of the saree finding himself scheming a way of unraveling them and making his way to the mystery beneath them. Tracing my hands around his neck, I pulled him closer wanting to torture his thoughts.

Leaning my lips closer to his cheeks, I spoke the thought. "I also did not know that bhalus are so weak...they cannot even act on a desire without continuing to fear the consequences like cowards..."

A cough stumbling out of him realizing the words had dared to challenge his abilities. A wicked smile appearing across his lips as he led me towards our car.

"This veil your mother forced you to wear is protecting you from evil...a wicked sin... or else I would make love to you right now..." He hissed with pure raging seduction now consuming him and tormenting him to unveil me here in this moment.

My hand grabbing his jaw tightly before scratching my nail lightly against his lips finding them tremble. "It's sin to talk about these secrets..." I whispered slowly finding him bite on his lip taking a hold of my finger while I let out a low laugh knowing I had only worsened his hunger.

"Then let me sin again..." He repeated dropping me down into the driver's seat and leaning over me finding himself entering a trance unaware of how he was daring to incite seduction in public.

Dragging his hand down my veil, he let it stream down my features before ripping it off of my head exposing me to the light falling upon us. My smile widening as I leaned back on my seat while he began to discern my lips with his fingers trying to see what they offered.

"Hmmm...I see something I can work with..." He announced making me shiver knowing the meaning he held as he dragged his palm gently against the nape of my neck heating its craving before walking to the other side and taking a seat next to me.

"What fetish are you having now?" I held the strength of my voice while continuing to shiver. Hitting the gas, I made a turn entering on to the single road once again with excitement and nervousness both urging their way through me and making me think many ways of what his words may have meant.

"Baby...I have a lot believe me..." He spoke loudly with his eyes lighting up with his sick thoughts making my foot hit the gas harshly feeling my stomach flying with many butterflies imagining what his thoughts consisted of.

"You are sick do you know that?!" I yelled with the wind beginning to rush through our faces as I let the rooftop fall down behind us. Shivaay letting out a devious laugh with his hand grabbing a hold of mine.

"Says the woman who loves these sick thoughts and fantasies! Do not try to be so bholi! You are a chalu cheez!" He announced to the winds rushing through us enough to make me feel mortified that each lifeless being even knows my grounded reality which I find shame in.

"Well you are the one who led me down these lanes...now don't put the blame on me...." I replied with a teasing smile despite feeling completely hot and melting into the steam of lust knowing that I shouldn't thrive on this hunger, but still craving on it.

"There is more you have to learn, but don't worry you have your professor to guide you!" He threw me a wink reminding me of our days when we both were crossing our boundaries as professor and student.

Placing my hand against my temple, I attempted to shake that memory despite knowing how I had clearly broken the rules and surprisingly enjoyed the thrill of it.

The wind continuing to rush through our faces while I began to giggle. Throwing my head back up, I let the sun blind me in an instant before I looked away letting the ocean breeze sink solace into me. Wrapping my hand into his, I looked back towards him who held his gaze upon me finding himself lost in an illusion from which he could not shake himself out of.

"Baby I love you..." He spoke softly letting the wind muffle his words, but failing to allow them to escape from me.

Grabbing his wrist, I laid a tender kiss upon his beating pulse wanting to engrave my essence upon his heartbeats.

A shy smile touching my lips as I looked up finding a sudden shade with the woods now collapsing above us. My heart beating fast finding its wounds being ripped off with his words that sung their tunes and slowly lifted the scars of a broken love.

Silence capturing us as I continued to drive, but our silence was enough to sing the silent tunes of love that was now running between both of our hearts. The speed of love passing against us with the winds singing. My eyes falling on the lake to my side as a smile touched my lips knowing what we were going to do.

Taking a swift turn towards the left, I began the dive towards the lake. "Anika...what are you doing? Where are we going?" Shivaay questioned while I shyly smiled letting the car stop in the middle of the road before getting out.

Slowly making my way towards his side, I opened the door looking towards him who appeared confused by my actions.

"Enough of questions please...I always thought of coming here before...and now finally after all these years we made it here..." I whispered feeling tears touch my eyes remembering how when we had gotten married before, I had always wished to be here, but somehow a dark being took this hope and hammered it into glass pieces...but surprisingly I have paired them back together.

Shivaay softly smiling as he looked at me seeing that unusual childish Anika that somewhere had been left in the past, but was beginning to resurrect once again. A giggle escaping from me as I grabbed his hand trying to force him out.

"Please trust me on this will you?" I noted while Shivaay let out a chuckle before shaking his head.

https://youtu.be/TP7_PZ1kIeU

"I do trust you Anika, but damn it. It's been so long I have seen you like this and it feels unreal. I missed seeing you like this and now when the true self that you are is coming back I just feel scared...scared you might not be like this forever..." His eyes holding a dark shade of fear with tears hitting them knowing he had spoken the truth. He is dark and I am light...our love always rides a wave that has its highs seen in moments like these and crashes harshly in moments of rage.

Skipping a heartbeat, I took a step closer lifting him out of the car as he immediately pulled me into a warm hug. We stood in silence letting our thoughts grace us while we enjoyed this subtle moment...a moment of wanting to ease each other's fears that we may once again lose this bond....this weak bond that we finally are building upon.

I understand his fear. It is a real fear that even I have. It's been long I have been myself and even I feel as if I am someone else at the moment...I feel detached from myself, but I know this is who I have been my entire life. This childish and "living the moment" Anika who had her lows, but had her highs by beating up laughter in each moment....It's been long I have been like this and I am scared that I may retrieve back to that Anika who self-loathed and embraced a dull shade for many years.

"I know...I am scared of being that old Anika. It's been long since I have been myself and it feels like it is not me...like I am detached from my own flesh... but I know this was who I was before and I want to be that Anika. All we can do is hope now....hope that from today as our new journey begins, our bond will only strengthen..." My hands wrapping around his waist tightly while Shivaay sighed letting a tear drop against my shoulder revealing his ardent fear that he held somewhere.

"I will do everything to strengthen our bond Anika. This is one promise that I can make to you that I will do everything to ensure our bond...our love remains sacred and treasured." His words easing the scrapes of my heart as I smiled before lifting my head up and wrapping his hand into mine.

"How did you change so much?" I questioned remembering how the man standing in front of me rarely walked the lanes of love and yet here he is today walking on them with pride not once wavering even on the thorns his feet are taking in without regrets.

"You happened. Your love changed me Anika...this love I have right now for is nothing compared to the love you have. This love that consumes one's senses...takes control of one's idea of what's wrong and right...this love that never hates...this love that makes you want to do anything and everything for your lover...This is the love you have and you call it weak and feeble, but for me it is a love that my love can never compete against. I want to love you the way you love me and for that I will do everything to change myself..." His hand tightening its grip around mine making me stand still finding my love for him spreading its roots down my heart and out into my soul...that love that once had lifting itself out of its grave.

Am I truly loving him the way I did before? Why does it feel that I am again walking on that path of love the one I did years ago? Why does it feel that I have just resumed that love before hitting its pause years ago? But then why is it that I am not feeling the love...it feels shallow only running its river on surface of my veins, but failing to go through them. It feels as if I know there is love, but it's not fully consuming me yet.

"Why is it you are feeling this love and I...I am not? Why do I find this love so ugly and feeble? I...I don't understand...I...I want that love...I want that feeling Shivaay...then why is it that I cannot feel it, but you can...?" My voice shaking finding myself weaken from not having that dose of love which breathed life in me for many years.

His palm grabbing hold of my chin pulling it up and making my eyes meet his that now held a reflection of the love he was beginning to root within his heart. Biting my lip, I attempted to hold my tears, but failing as they began to lose their grasp.

"Anika...that is the beauty of your love. How can you fully accept this feeling knowing what I have done? You cannot and that is why you do not want to feel that love, but the love that you have breathes its own life...The way you hold me when I want solace, the way you embrace me when I am crashing, and the way you...you make me feel as if I am not an object, but an actual being...all of this makes me feel loved. Your love never died and I know that...and that is why I can never see myself loving you the way you love me because no one can compete against your love. No one...Your love is irreplaceable. Believe me." Tears dropping out of his blue hues that found themselves shaken from my ugly love...a love that somehow he found to be above his which was becoming clearer day by day devoid of the poison that my love holds.

Taking a hold of his tears, I wiped them away gently making him smile as he found love even in this small gesture.

"N-now let's go where you want to take me." Shivaay letting out a small laugh trying to lighten the mood as he wrapped his hand into mine.

We began to walk in silence hand in hand while my thoughts took hold of me with the mold of confusion growing on to the layer of love for him that now were once again beginning to weave themselves around me.

I love him?...Of course I do, but do I love him like before...I don't know. I don't know if I want to feel that love...But I want to love him and perhaps I am loving him, but I don't want the feeling and I don't know why I don't want this feeling yet. If I don't want the feeling then why do I take so much effort to pull him out of his darkness and make him see the side of life that I feel he has never experienced before?

Our feet guiding us down to the serene blue lake finding ourselves walking towards the love it held for many lovers all these years. The woods surrounding it with sunlight barely brushing it, but enough to bless those who rarely come here.

"So are you going to tell me the story behind this lake or are we just going to keep this silence?" His question breaking me out of my thoughts as I immediately turned towards him with a shy smile touching my lips.

"Why are you always like this? Breaking me out of my thoughts and pulling me back...to the ground..." My words creating a confusion within me as I myself do not know what I am saying, but finding it as a voice coming from a barren heart.

Taking a deep breath, he began to lead me down to the lake letting our feet sink into the mud where filth laid before letting the cool water touch our feet to soak our bane. Complete solace present. Not a sound heard except the beating hearts that have beat love many times in this lake.

"Because at times it's best to not ponder over one's feelings, but let them be. It's best to feel the presence of that untouchable blessing of love...rather than question its origins. Anika...you don't even want to know how I felt when I realized my love for you. I questioned it a lot...I went mad over this feeling not wanting it because I was scared...scared that this feeling might weaken me, but I was wrong...the moment I let this feeling be was the moment that this love began to strengthen me...this love began to pull me out of those dark realms where I have resided for long...and now I want this feeling to last for eternity...forever...because this feeling of love has saved me..." His voice breaking apart with now tears overcoming him not allowing him to speak more, but experience that feeling that he likely never had touched upon for many years.

The way he has let his feelings escape from his being...a being that has only whipped him and taught him that being loved and loving someone is a crime...So to see him allowing his beasts to continue to torment him while he forces himself to confess his love is telling of how much he is changing.

"Shivaay...oh my God..." Closing my lines knowing I couldn't speak more, but now able to feel the beats of his love inserting themselves through the flesh of my heart and forcing their way into that spot where my love for him laid...I let go of my thoughts and pulled him into my heart instantly.

Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him in as he began to lose himself to realms of love...fearing what they may contain, but still wanting to walk in them for my sake. Grabbing on to my waist, he tugged me closer as if he would let go then it would be forever. Our tears merging into one, we glided our skins together before taking hold of the other's gaze that reflected a sharded past which still incited rivers of blood.

"Shivaay...what did I do to get your love?...I know it is hard. It is hard to love and it is hard to break down the barriers and cross over to that pond of love. I know...and my God...I know how hard it must have been for you, but don't ever think that this is one sided. Don't ever think that only you are in this relationship and I am not...I really want this Shivaay. I want this love and I want you...I...I cannot let go of this feeling of wanting to be with you. No matter how hard I try, I cannot let go of you. I just cannot...." The rims of my heart finally speaking their thoughts on the love that was being laid upon it without any shame.

Of course, I want us. I know if I don't get him now then I might just lose myself. I am tired of waiting...for us to happen and now we are so close and no matter what I will do everything to ensure he becomes mine. I need him and I don't know why, but I cannot explain this feeling...this feeling of wanting him to only be claimed by me and to only love me.

"I know...I know this is not one sided Anika...and that is why I cannot bear the idea that despite how much I have hurt you...you still are willing to take me back. I don't want the easy way...I don't..." He attempted to argue with my heart wanting to push it down and let it know that it was wrong to love him, but I was not heeding.

Clasping my palms against his cheeks, I began to layer his cheeks with feverish, passion filled kisses to heat up his love and it know how much it is desired by me. I am not ashamed of this feeling and I will not be...In this moment I do not care what is right or wrong...All I know is that I just want us.

"I...I don't care how this is supposed to be done...Alright? I don't care if society requires me to take you through deep currents before making you mine. No one matters to me. Right now, what matters is that you and I want to be together and we should only focus on us and building us. It's simple. Let's not make this complex and ruin our future. We have to forget...it is essential we forget..." I whispered with urgence realizing that the best way we both will be able to even touch a bit of solace is by letting go of our animosities and touching love.

Running my lips tenderly up and down his cheeks, I let the heat of our skins mold together while slowly breaking down the gap that existed between us. His head lowering finding himself not able to bear the admiration he was getting with a sense of shame still holding on to him. Trailing my fingers up to his lips, I began to rub them before holding his eyes into mine.

"Be simple and kind...respect me...and make me feel loved and that is enough...that is your redemption," I spoke knowing that is what the wounds on love required at the moment...that this simple love is the cure to healing them.

Throwing his head up, he looked at the empty sky contemplating upon my words knowing that this is the most difficult path of finding and proving love through simplicity. A crawling tension hitting his heartbeats as he took deep breaths wanting to ease his fear of failing to prove his love.

"I will do everything to do such then. I promise to respect you...to treat you kindly...to love you no matter what may come be. I will try to find love in the simplest gestures and I don't know if I will succeed...I might fail," He noted looking into my eyes knowing he was speaking his truth.

Weakly smiling, I grabbed on to his cheeks pulling him closer, wanting to close our distance immediately. "You won't fail. Love is not about winning or failing...A lover can only be claimed when one gives up on one's own desires and only begins to love them...not wanting anything in return. I know you are capable of this love...It was proven the moment you walked away from me when I told you to...You are capable of loving and you are loving and believe me this love will now only grow... So now let's close these thoughts and as you said...just let this moment...this love to be...Feel the blessing of love...don't fear it..."

Letting my hands plunge into his, I looked up slightly realizing we both were standing under the blessing of love. A shy smile touching my lips as I looked at the canopy tree blessing us like it always did for lovers. Shivaay looking at me curiously before following my gaze not able to see the phantomic blessings it gives.

"What are you looking at?" He questioned making my smile widen before I leaned down and kissed his cheek tenderly.

"Let me show you..." I whispered tracing my hand gently into his and beginning to take small steps leading down into the edges of the cool lake. We let the blessing of love simmer its way into our feet allowing it to touch our heartbeats where we held hopes to build our love.

Tracing my hand gently against his, I began to lead him down next to the cool water of the lake with the sun barely touching us, but enough to bless our new journey. Letting our feet sink into the mud we trailed our way in silence towards the tree finding it enchanting...as if it held many of our own secrets which we never had touched before.

"This tree never dies... Lovers often come to this tree and engrave their name upon it hoping that their love will also last an eternity just like the original lovers who gave this dead tree a life...This tree never withers and never has attempted to die ever since those two original lovers claimed it. Many call it a star-crossed lovers' tree as it holds a tragic story..." I whispered letting our feet walk towards it feeling as if this tree holds the answers to the fate that we both have faced...a fate that at one point was determined to separate us forever.

A light wind catching us and taking our souls hostage to replace it with an emptiness that now appeared to fall upon the both of us felt in a sudden veil of silence that shaded over us in the forms of the shadows of the tree.

His hand tightening its grasp upon mine as we continued to walk in silence letting the lake's water barely brush past our feet while we found our feet wanting to give up not wanting to move closer to the tree...finding a fear from it...as if it will push us back to where everything began.

"It has a tragic story where two lovers separated under its shade..." Shivaay's lines slipping out as his eyes held a hallow deprived state appearing to have entered their own trails of fantasy.

Feeling a blur sitting into my vision, I found as if the time was changing back and rotating while we both stood still looking at the tree finding familiarity to it despite not knowing what it was that was drawing the both of us to it together.

"H-how do you know?" I questioned as I began to take a step towards the tree finding myself admiring the layers of engravings that were left upon it.

Shivaay's hand holding mine while he began to follow me and admire the engravings that many lovers had left upon it including the ones whose love had blessed this tree. This tree's life lays on the love that was expressed beneath it.

"I-I don't know...the thought just slipped..." He whispered with his voice reaching a lull while we stood in silence with our hands slowly reaching out to engravings left on the tree by many lovers of the past.

Feeling empty, deprived of that ugly love, I still felt a solace touch my heart with a shy smile

touching my lips as I traced my fingertips gently against the tree seeing other engravings on it. Shivaay's hands colliding against mine as we both reached the oldest engraving that had blessed this tree with life.

My smile softening while I looked at the two letters drawn together resembling our own. A loss of vision blurring my sight with the letters appearing to jump upon me as if I had engraved them before. His hand taking a hold of mine as we both began to brush our hands gently across the two letters finding ourselves captivated by it.

"These are their initials...the ones' who blessed this tree life with their love. Their love breathed life into this tree. All lovers come here and engrave their name upon it and make a wish...a wish that this tree always tends to fulfil so everyone says. You know Shivaay...I always wanted to come here and make a wish...a simple wish, but one with you. W-when we were married before, I always desired to come here...I know it is cliché to believe in these things and perhaps you do not believe in them, but I want to make this wish for our sake...please?" Tears touching my eyes as I looked back at him finding layers of fear touching me that perhaps our love may just collapse once again as it did before.

Our hands still collapsed against the initials of the original lovers upon which we kept our palms upon feeling their presence enveloping themselves around us. A soft smile touching Shivaay's lips as I felt his hand gently wrapping around my waist before pulling me closer against him and laying a gentle kiss on my cheek.

"Anika...from now on your beliefs are mine. Now on...I will only be colored in your shades...Shivaay is only yours' now and only your servant..." He whispered placing his lips tenderly against the corner of my lips.

A demure smile coming across my lips while I wrapped my arm around his waist allowing him to pull me into an embrace. "Be my lover only...I only want your love. It took a lot of prayers to get you...Promise me, that you will not leave me...Promise me..." A fear letting itself into my heart realizing that I didn't want us to be the lovers' who separated tragically underneath this tree not able to fulfill and achieve their love.

His gaze lowering picking up a small wooden box laying next to the tree appearing captivated by it as if he had seen it before. With his hands shaking, he grasped upon the box that had the initial of the lovers engraved upon it. Lifting it up, he pulled out a small blade kept for many lovers to make their wish. My hand wrapping around his allowing both of to hold the blade as if we both had seen it before.

Our eyes capturing one another where his blue hues unveiled his love for me. A shiver running down my spine finding his love haunting as if it was different...showing subtle purity that I hadn't seen before stepping in front of this tree.

"I promise to always cherish you and endow you with happiness. I promise to respect you this time and love you more than last time. I promise to never leave you and always pray that we be together forever even for eternity. I promise to never leave you like I did last time...and I promise to always love you and only you..." His love wrapping into my heart pulling it out and engraving his name upon it forever as our hands began to move again the tree.

Letting our fingers draw together, a small weak smile played upon our lips while we continued to look into each other's eyes finding ourselves bewitched by love that appeared to hold us above the graves of life that laid beneath our feet under this very ground...where the tragic lovers had died.

Our hands engraving our names gently into the tree with our wish slipping through it.

"A simple wish...that may our souls be now united for eternity. That no matter what crisis...what havoc...no matter what, we stand by each other and never fall apart. That for our children, we remain united and our children remain more blessed than even us. May we never part...Shivaay...I don't want to part...like last time..." My voice closing itself shut with tears now speaking my fear that indeed what if we do part like last time.

A sudden force wrapping itself around me as I felt myself being pulled into his embrace with his arms wrapping around my heart pulling me into his chest. Burying my lips into his arms, I began to wail feeling that something worse had happened to me that even I myself cannot remember. I don't know why I am feeling different right now under this tree...why I am feeling enchanted by it as if I am under a spell.

Our eyes capturing the initials of the original lovers below which our names laid.

"A+S..." I whispered reading the initials of those tragic lovers who love had breathed life into this tree. A chill running through the both of us seeing our names written below those initials realizing the similarity...

.....

Chapter 39 Part 2 is now posted and can be read after this part :)

Sneak Peek of Chapter 39 Part 2: "Star-Crossed Lovers" (Mature content at end of Part 2 chapter)

"At last you both have come! Truly fate has done justice to your love at last!" His voice rumbling as I immediately looked towards him finding a soft smile reaching his lips as he looked at the both of us appearing to admire our presence.

"W-what?" Shivaay barely letting his voice out as I stood still feeling layers of confusion wrap itself around me not able to touch upon the deeper meaning of his words.

The man appearing to be one from the past and the future...as if he knows both seen in the aging greyness of his flesh indicating fraility which masks a deeper force that he holds within the palm of his hand.

......

His hands digging the mud through my waist finding himself lusting on the thought of what would happen once he lets the final drape of my saree unfold. Tracing my muddy fingers up his shoulders and to his neck, I brought him closer letting us stumble in the cabin before he looked into my eyes finding himself captivated with the idea of what would happen once we break the rules once again.

"Someone might see us..." I whispered though not wanting to express the thought and only live through this moment.

Shivaay's revealing a wicked smile holding on to his fantasy tightly. "That is the thrill...of making love and ensuring no one see's..." He hissed....

.....

Chapter 39 Part 2 is now posted and can be read after this part :)

The end of Chapter 39 Part 2-the last scene- will have mature content and I will add a tag before it starts, so those who want to skip it can skip it :)

Okay, I know everyone just wants the wedding chapters and they start this week :) These two updates are essential in giving a new point of view and perspective to the story which is why I have to write them. Believe me I also really just want to write about the wedding and so I am :)

I am only 23 who is not married, does not have a child and plus I am an only child who never has had any experience with children like ever let alone any siblings. I never have really interacted with children, so I am so so sorry if I was not able to do justice in showing Anika and Chaaya's mother and daughter relationship.

I could not cross the boundary and show more emotions between Anika and Chaaya because they were essentially strangers to each other in this chapter and thus their emotions will speak in their reunion. Also Anika had to have her face veiled since Chaaya has her picture and knows how Anika looks like which is why I did that. I am so sorry if I disappointed anyone :(, but I had a hard time controlling and describing the right emotions that would show a mother's connection to her daughter, but not allow her to go overboard to a child that is essentially still a stranger to her...I wanted to keep it real, but also show the connection and it was really difficult for me to do such, so I get it if I kind of failed in writing their scenes :(

Chapter 39 Part 2 is now posted and can be read after this part :)

Ciao!

-Jasmine

I tried to add more emotions to this chapter since I felt the last two did not have emotions and I am so sorry if I failed.

Haldi chapters start from Part 3 and then wedding is afterwards along with a honeymoon in Paris where Anika and Chaaya will also reunite hopefully :)

I am writing mature content for Haldi and wedding chapters as well and will add a tag before the content will start in the chapters, so those who want to skip can skip it :).

Thank you for reading and if you liked this chapter then if you wish please do vote, comment, and share :)

One small vote or even a comment helps me know whether the update was okay or needed some improvement so feel free to give me any feedback and I will see how I can improve :)

Chapter 39 Part 2 is now posted and can be read after this part :) Please do comment on that part as well if possible because that part of about Shivika's past lifetime :) , so I really am curious what readers think :)