" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

3rd Person POV:

Vine: Crim !

Crim: ... Ngh ? Yes... ? What is it, Madame... ?

Madame: Sorry to wake you, but I'm running out of fire gems. Do you think you could go over to the volcanic lands and pick some up for me ? It's pretty far and dangerous, so take those perverts with you.

Crim: Okay...

Your POV:

Salamander: You guys came to a store like this, and you aren't even fire-types... You must reaaally be into this. Aren't you guys hot ?

Stunk: ... Yeah.

"In... In more ways than once..."

Zel: C- Could you turn down the heat at all... ?

Salamander: N-o~ !

Crim: '... Yeah. I guess we would stop by this kind of store...'

Stunk: Okay, hurry up and...

Salamander: Kya~ !!

Stunk: ... Yeah, that's good ! 'At the end of the day, it's still regular BBQ. Just sexier... yeah.'

Zel: WH... WHOA !! THIS REALLY IS GOOD !!

Crim: Way better than when it's cooked over gems... The magical energy's so dense and fully locked in... !!

Zel: THIS ISN'T JUST SEXY, IT'S SO MUCH MORE... !

Crim: You don't get anywhere this much magic left with plain, old flame magic... !!

Stunk: ... Stupid magic nerds...

"So that's what this aftertaste was about... I was scared to assume what was causing it... Also explains why Sei's having a spiritual hard-on right now..."

Stunk: 'Crap... I won't be able to keep up with the conversation unless I bring it back to sex...' Heh-heh... And the way this piece of meat came out after cooking it on her nipple... It's nice and sexy...

Crim: Really, Stunk... ?

"Oooh, but speaking of... This one, too. Hey, try to guess where this one was cooked !"

Crim: ... I... Don't know... ?

Salamander: Right... Down here~ ! Also known as "Naughty BBQ".

"Pfahahahahahaha !!"

Stunk: ALL RIGHT !! Let's get to the main course while we can still take this heat !!

"So sausages ?"

Zel: Exactly !! Three orders of the sausage service please !!

Stunk: Okay. Think you can cook this for us ?

"Ah, the entire thing can't fit, Stunk. But, if you put it right between these... Yep, it can cover it whole. An even cooking for the entire sausage."

Zel: Good idea. Okay, I think I'll cook mine in this hole.

Crim: H- Hey... !

Salamander: AHnnn~ !!

*I'm very sorry, but after carefully reading Wattpad's content policy, I can't show what happens just next.*

*So in exchange, you can have this footage of Meidri bathing. No need to thank me.*

Salamander: Haah... Haah...

*POP*

Stunk: It's dirty... It's real dirty, but... Too hot...

Zel: I can't. I'm at my limit...

"... hey, Crim... Looks like you're at your limit in another kind of way..."

Crim: Just leave me alone !!

Salamander: Haa... So, boys. Now what ? If you'd like, we can go to another room next... Where you can come take me~ !

Zel/Stunk: WE'D DIE !!

Salamander: Whaaat ? You're calling it quits halfway ? Just when I was starting to get all fired up too.. C'mon, I'll give you half off the after-meal fun !

Zel: H- HOT, HOT, HOT !!

Stunk: THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE HERE !! WE'RE GONNA DIE !!

Crim: H- Huh... ?

Salamander: I mean, just look at you ! You look like you're having a rough time ! Let's take this to another room, yeah ? Yeah ? Hmm ?!

Crim: What ? Ah... Um... Okay...

Stunk: ... The kid's got fire resistance ?

Zel: D- Damn, I'm jealous... What are those clothes made of... ?

"Well, if you excuse us, we're taking part in the fun too."

Stunk: You want to get burned to a crisp that much ?

"Stunk, Stunk, Stunk... You don't think ahead. When you go to the volcanic lands, there's a few essentials you need to pack."

Stunk: What... ?

"*Gulp*"

Zel: ... Cautious son of a, you had a potion this entire time...

"See ya later, try not to get a heat stroke out there~."

*The cost of buying fifty kilograms of fire gems:

-Go to the volcanic lands yourself to buy them: 25,000G

-Buy them from a merchant in town: 75,000G

-Get perverts to buy them: 25,000G + 15,000G*

Stunk: Man, it's so hot...

Zel: I hate having to sit here, waiting for someone to finish doing it... I wanna hurry up and go home already...

"Then you're lucky, since I had to cut things short, otherwise the potion's effect would've worn off.

Zel: Finally, you guys are done...

Crim: Sorry... Thanks for waiting...

Zel/Stunk: ... ... ... ...

Crim: What's the matter ?

"I guess it has to do with what was before the fun parts.

Stunk: Yep... You guys stink ! You completely reeks of BBQ !

Crim: Wha... ? What are we supposed to do about that ?!

Zel: It's common to end up smelling like perfume or soap after being with a girl... But getting covered in BBQ smell is unheard of...

Crim: Her whole body tasted like BBQ...

"And trust me, we've checked."

Crim: AAAAAAAH... !! S- STUNK ! ZEL ! RAN ! BROOZ ! PLEASE WAKE UP... OPEN YOUR EYES... ! YOU CAN'T DIE HEEERE !!

6 hours ago:

Stunk: Hey. Check that out.

"Eh ? isn't that just a regular lilim den ?"

Stunk: I know, but look closer...

Brooz: Hm ? What ?! 500G ?! So cheap !! What's up with this pricing ?!!

"Real succubi do tend to be cheap after all... But..."

Zel: Isn't this still way too cheap ? Sure it's not a scam ?

Stunk: ... Okay, let's go in first.

Brooz: If it's a rip-off, we'll just have to force our way out.

Receptionist: Hey there ! Are you all ready ? Umm. Let me make sure one last time. Once you enter this lilim room, you're not allowed to leave until you've been sucked dry. It doesn't matter how much you cry, scream, shriek, or piss... They're not going to let you go until they're done, and I'm not going in there to help you. Even if it goes overboard and puts your life at risk, we won't be held liable.

"*Glups*"

Receptionist: Now that you've understood that, you may enter.

Stunk: ... So it's a room packed full of low-level Lilim...

Zel: No wonder it's cheap.

Lilim: HURRY UP AND GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE ! YOU'VE GOT A PAIR DOWN THERE, RIGHT ?! WHAT'RE YOU ACTING ALL SCARED FOR ?! AND YOU CALL YOURSELVES MEN ?! BRING IT ON ! SHOW US YOUR GUTS AND YOUR C*CKS !!

"I... I'm not really feeling like it..."

Crim: Isn't that a little too much... ? Let's just leave...

Stunk: ... Zel, we're going to need some strong buffs from you.

Zel: Yep.

Crim/Sei: Wait, why are you guys getting ready to go in there ?!

Lilim: YOU'RE GONNA LET THEM SAY THAT AND JUST WALK AWAY ?! AS MEN ?! HURRY UP AND LET US DEFILE YOU ALREADY !

"Everything about this sounds like danger to me ! No way in hell i'm getting in there !"

Stunk: Listen, guys... There are times in a man's life when he just can't back down... You feel me ?

Crim: I do, but I'm certain this isn't one of them.

*Fwish*

"Or maybe... It is..."

Stunk: What took you so long ?

"A reluctant kid adamant to not leave me in control."

Zel: About damn time.

Receptionist: Okay, discussion time is over. If you're in, hurry up and come inside, please.

Stunk: Okay, you guys ! Here we go !!

"You bet we are !!"

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!'

Crim: Um... Aren't they really going to die at this rate... ?

Receptionist: Well, this isn't normally a place you'd enter with a group of three or four...

???: I'M BACK !!

Orc: AND I'M HERE TO TAKE REVENGE FOR LAST WEEK ! I BROUGHT A HUNDRED FRIENDS WITH ME !!

Lilims: OOH, we were waiting for you !! Today's our lucky day !! Oh, you can take those guys away.

Receptionist: Okaaay.

Crim: EVERYONE, PLEASE !! Get a hold of yourselves !!

"... *Sob*..."

Crim: Ah ! Y- You're awake !!

"... He refused to switch..."

Crim: What... ?

"Even after realizing how much he fucked by going in here... He refused to let me take any of it... Saying it was his mistake, and it was his job to assume the consequences..."

*Stunk/Human: It's only fun for the first thirty minutes. It's torture after that. 1.

Zel/Elf: Straight-up suicide. 0.

Brooz/Beastman: If the next set of customers had taken an hour longer to arrive, we would be dead right now. 0.

Sei/Human: I'm not letting Ran take over for an entire month after that. 0.

Ran/Human: No, mom... I don't wanna go back... 0.

Crimvael/Angel: I absolutely don't want to go in there. 0.

It took them at least two weeks to recover.*

Crim: Meidri... Could you please take this plate to that customer for me ?

Meidri: Sure, but... Why do you keep saying "Tata" ?

Crim: I guess it's just... the way I feel ?

Meidri: What's that mean ?

"That's an accurate representation of what happens when you're attacked by dark magic. It really feels like your spirits and souls are saying "tata !" as they fall to hell."

Stunk: So angels are weak to darkness ?

Zel: Makes sense...

"Doesn't it seem like there are a lot of dark-element customers here today ?"

Zel: yeah, now that you mention it... I heard the world of Darkness has a long vacation starting today...

Crim: L- Long vacation... ?

Zel: So we're going to be dealing with this dark miasma for a while... here's an idea. Want to go bathe it up in light the next time we take a day off ?

Crim: That sounds great !!

"Crim... Whatever you're thinking, I doubt that's what's gonna happen..."

"Look at that, that's what I call a bright reception."

Zel: That's a store full of light spirits for ya.

Kanchal: But... isn't that billboard missing "Garden" ?

Sprite: Hello~ ! Welcome to our store~ !

"Woah, Nelly !"

Crim: Wait, already ?! We're only at the entrance area !!

Kanchal: Ooh, I like this.

Stunk: That light is in the way, and I can't see the best part, though.

Sprite: I'm sorry. I can't will this light to disappear or move.

"... Talk about convenient censorship..."

Stunk: Talk about inconvenient, yes !!

Sprite: According to a research paper by the grand mage Demia... the coordinates and forms of light differ due to changes in the axis of the world line.

Crim: The world line ?

Sprite: yes, and changes around the breasts are particularly noticeable. While the lights can sometimes shine in a way that makes it completely impossible to see the nipples... A change in the axis of the world line can apparently make them clear as day.

Zel: I don't really get it, but basically... We're in a world where we can see nipples right now ? Heh heh.

Sprite: The light down here tends to never go away, though...

Crim: We get it ! C- Can we just do this farther inside the store ? Please ?!

Sprite: Okay, then... I have five customers with me !

Crim: ... So big...

"That's what she'll say..."

Zel: So bright...

Stunk: Huh ? Do you not have a reception desk ?

Sprites: Welcome !! We're so glad you're here ! We're so bright that if we were alone with you in a small room, it'd be impossible to see anything ! Tee-hee !

*One-on-one in a private room:

Sprite: Okay~...

"I can't see a thing ! Where are you ?!*

Crim: What ? Then what are we supposed to do ? We're not going to do it here, are we ?

Sprite: That's exactly right. Okay, time to get you out of your clothes !

Crim: W- WAIT !!

Sprite: Oh, come now. Don't be shy.

Crim: It's too embarrassing... To do it in front of everyone like this... !

Sprites: Don't worry. Your most important parts will be so bright, they won't be visible. Our light gathers around the dirty bits whether we want it or not ! Come on, everyone. Take off your clothes~ !

Stunk: This place is wilder than expected...

Stunk: ... It really is shining...

Zel: This feels weird.

"Kanchal, how cute !"

Kanchal: SHUT IT !!

Zel: ... Crim, talk about shining !

Crim: Nooo... Stoppp... DON'T LOOK ! DON'T LOOK !!

Stunk: Don't worry, we can't...

Sprite: So big...

"Heh. Called it."

Crim: COULD YOU AT LEAST CLOSE THE CURTAINS AT THE ENTRANCE ?!

Sprite: Like we said, it's fine. It's too bright to see anything from outside. Okay, two more customers coming in !

Adventurer: Whoa, they're doing it.

Orc: I like the free-for-all vibe in here.

Crim: WHA- ?!

"Wait, other customers are coming in too ?

Sprite: Well, it's not like you have rented the place out !

Stunk: ... I guess you're right...

Sprite: So you'd better hurry up and pick a girl you like before she's taken !

Adventurer: Lumen, are you free ?

Lumen: Sorry, I'm with the little guy right now.

Adventurer: Damn, that sucks. Heh, that kid's pretty cute too. He's a guy, but I could still go for it.

Sprite: Oh ? Putting your hands and the other clients is a big no-noooo !!

*The four seeds of light, the will-o-wisp experience:

Stunk/Human: this time, we went to a will-o-wisp store. All the girls were great, but the way the store works isn't for everyone. As soon as you go in, you're forced into a big, open orgy. I'd say it's for experts only. Apparently, they're too bright for private rooms, but they were pretty bright even in that big room, so get ready to leave with tired eyes... Everything's bright down there too, so you can't see a thing. I can't recommend to any of you beginners who wants to go to a store to see what really goes on downstairs... Actually, I can't recommend it to any beginners based on the fact that it's a big orgy alone. I do want to praise them for providing a space where you can do it with lots of girls, though. 7.

Ran/Human: If you don't have the slightest shred of shyness, or have the habit of crowded orgies, you'll feel right at home. Think about bringing shades, though, and remember that the light grows stronger accordingly at how "Well-Endowed" you are down there. Anything else, and don't go. Too bad, the girls are absolutely adorable. Also, while I'm at it, Sei's review summed up "NOOOOOOOOOOOO !!". 6.

Zel/Elf: A store where you can relax, shrouded in light... if that's the kind of places you're expecting, you're going to be in for a surprise. More and more strangers show up and jump in too... Their glowing souls gather around everyone's naughty parts, so you technically can't see the goods, but you basically know what's going on. It makes for a pretty intense experience. The spirits of light themselves are great, but... I can't relax in a store like this... They charge you for every twenty minutes you're in there, so it's going to be expensive if you stay too long for all the girls. 5.

Kanchal/Halfling: I'm sure everyone else is talking about how this place works, so I'll skip that... The girls themselves are great, but I was bothered by how bright their bodies were. All of them were also either super lax and out of it, to go along with the atmosphere, or just plain dumb. I know a lot of spirits tend to be ditzy, so I guess they live up to the stereotype... 5.

Crimvael/Angel: I don't have any problem with the wisps themselves, but I can't believe the way the store works ! Everyone kept talking about how you can't see anything because of the glow, but I could see it all !! I was so embarrassed, I felt like I was going to die. My head's so blank, I can barely remember what happened ! And don't want to remember ! 0.*

Oni: Er... I don't think I want to go there...

Demon: Yeah, light just feels too open and uninhibited. No darkness at all... ?

Narugami: Sounds like a good place.

Fairy: orgies... I like that.

Lobster: Good...

Stunk: Looks like that store's getting real mixed reactions.

Zel: I guess species that are mixed with creatures who tend to mate in groups are more interested...

"Makes sense... i'm more concerned about Crim's review, though. You think because he's an angel, he could see through all that light ?"

Zel: It's a possibility...

'... I really think he wasn't expecting what happened with "Basking in light"... Maybe we should try and make it up for that...'

Meidri: Crim, you look worn out. How about you go and take a break ? I'll take care of the rest.

Crim: Okay... I think I will... 'Apart from my spirit and my soul... It feels like even my dignity's fallen into hell after going to that store...'

*The trip only made Crim weaker to the darkness.*

Zel: I wanna eat mushrooms.

Meidri: Hmm... if it's mushroom, then there's either mushroom sauté or mushroom spaghetti...

Zel: No, not that. Not that kind of common stuff. I want something like... A food made after picking up mushrooms from the forest or so something ! Get ourselves a pot full of mushrooms we don't buy from the market... !

"... Is that the equivalent of having your period ?"

Stunk: Dunno. Maybe.

Meidri: Even if you ask, we don't have that. It's a well-known disease in the forest.

Zel: Alright ! Let's go to the elven forest to eat !

Stunk: Do it yourself...

"Not to sound rude, but i'm not eating unidentified mushrooms. Living is something I'd like to do for a while longer."

'I concur. Most of the times, the girls are eating my mushroom, though.'

"You just had to butt in..."

Zel: You guys are such buzzkills. Hey, Crim ! Shall we go eat mushrooms ?

Crim: What ? Mushrooms ? Are you going to review myconids or something ?

"... He just said the magic words..."

Zel: Myconids' store, huh... I didn't think of that...

Stunk: if that's the case, I'm also going.

*Fwish*

"Same here. Wasn't too keen about eating mushrooms, but eating out mushroom girls' a different business."

Zel: Alright, so our destination changed from the elven forest forest to the myconid forest, alright ?

"All-Fucking-Right. You've turned into quite the pervert yourself, haven't you, Crim ? *Sob*"

Crim: Wha... WHAT IS IT ALL OF A SUDDEN ! AND DON'T WIPE THAT TEAR OF PRIDE !!

Lulu (Fairy boy): This is it. This is the entrance for the succubus store of the myconid forest branch.

Stunk: Thank god we had someone who's well versed with the roads around myconid forest.

Zel: As our thanks, we'll treat you to the store. In the meantime, write a review as well.

Lulu: Why am I being treated so nicely...

"For once, we have no ulterior motives."

Crim: ... "For once"... ?

Receptionist: Welcome to the myconid pervy store, you five Takeritake.

Stunk: Who are you calling Takeritake ?!

"Don't act like you know what it means."

Receptionist: I will be guiding the man mushroom in the forest of molds in the crotch. Get erect with your pervy mold. Go ahead and expel a lot of your mushroom's spore. You're young, after all.

"Getting Fairy flashbacks over this one."

Stunk: I know the feeling. They have this sort of thing in the sex museum too, don't they ? This dirty joking old lady ?

Zel: Shush !

Receptionist: Well, well. I'm not putting on airs, as a several hundred years-old pervy granny. We have hundreds of mushroom girls, and choosing which one suits our customers is my job. For example, the first pervy-looking human over there...

Stunk: Me ?!

Receptionist: You actually like to be entangled with slimy girls, right ?

Stunk: Kuh... Can't deny that at all !

Receptionist: For you~, I would recommend the Nameko-type girls "Pholiota Microspora".

Stunk: ... NICE !

Receptionist: Next, the elf... Not only entanglement, you're also the type that likes the flavor and mana, right ? So you'd like those with high mana, and you would also enjoy their milks. I'd recommend you take the chichitake type "Lactifluus volemus", weeping milk cap.

Zel: Hoo... We got to a pretty good place.

Receptionist: You, Fairy boy... You like plain girls, right ?

Lulu: How did you... ?!

Receptionist: Fufufu, after observing men for a long time, I would understand. Their size fits yours, so I'll leave you to Bunashimeji-chan, "Hypsizygus Tessellatus", brown beech mushroom.

Lulu: Eh ? Waa... B- But there's so many... Who should I choose...

Bunashimeji-chan, "Hypsizygus Tessellatus", brown beech mushroom: It's okay ! All of us will be your partners !

Receptionist: Then, next, second pervy-looking human... Hmm...

"Problem ?"

Receptionist: ... No, nothing. I just had to look from a different angle. Looks like an attack on both sides is best, so... I think that Inky cap "Coprinopsis Atramentaria" would be best.

Coprinopsis: P- Please be gentle...

Atramentaria: Is what you'll be saying in a short while !

Receptionist: The sake bottle is comprised in the price.

"... Ohhh, boy... We're definitely going to enjoy this."

Receptionist: Fufufu. Well then, lastly is you, boy...

Receptionist: '... An angel... Huh. Everyone know of their existence, but this is my first time seeing one... They're physically weak, but their mana and elements look strong. Or rather, what the hell is with his wings... How is he even flying ? From the looks of it, he looks pure-natured... Like a young man that's very interested in sex. But for some reason, I also feel a girl's presence mixed with him... ? ... ... ... Shit. I don't get it !!'

Crim: Umm... Is there anything wrong ?

Receptionist: EH ?! No, nothing ?! Ah, uuhh... That's right... H- How about this type of girl...

*Harvesting mushrooms in the myconid forest !

Stunk/Human: I know this review is of myconid girls, but there are as many different kinds of them as there are types of mushrooms, with too many types to pick for yourself, a highly-experienced elderly mushroom lady will look you over at reception and recommend the girl who's best for you. She sure knew what she was doing, because she suggested me a slippery little Nameko. Being with her didn't felt too different than being with a human, but the huge number of girls working there, as well as the number of girls who will join you as a group for no extra charge, are both major pluses. 9.

Zel/Elf: Just like how an amateur can end up killed hunting for mushrooms, I can't suggest picking a myconid yourself if you're new to this. You don't want to pick a girl just because she looks cute, only to find out that she's poisonous to the touch. There was a real cute girl there you'd never think was called Amanita Virosa or "Destroying angel". Sleeping with her probably wouldn't be a good idea. Anyway, this is why you leave it to the receptionist lady. She knows the right girl for the right customer. Don't worry, you'll get your money's worth. All the juices that came out of my Milkcap were delicious. At first glance, it might seem like you get to have fun with multiple girls at the same time for free, but really they're the same type of girl, and are all connected. Kinda like body-split clones. 8.

Ran/Human: When you get there, don't be fooled by the receptionist appearance or her... Questionable sense of humor. When it comes to picking the right girl for you, she's not just talented, she's absolutely fucking qualified. And I mean it, she managed to find a bipolar inky cap so that the two of us could have our fun. For the same cost, you get several girls that are hand-picked specially for you ? Shut up and take my money. My only complain is how isolated and deep in the forest the store is, but it really isn't a problem. 9.

Lulu/Fairy: First of all, I'm shocked by how the lady at reception was able to look at me and figure out I was into plain girls based on my face alone. I was able to have fun with a bunch of beech mushrooms I got recommended, so another big thumbs-up from me. The sheer number of different kinds of girls they have on call is unbelievable, so you can't go wrong with this place as long as the receptionist's recommendation hits the mark. 9.

Crimvael/Angel: I got a super-sensitive girl with a really fluffy body. Every time I touched her, her whole body would twitch, and she'd get exhausted in no time at all. I normally hate being the assertive one, but even I felt like taking the lead with her. She was great ! Her fluffy form felt great too. It reminded me of being up in heaven, on top of the clouds. All the spores that got released made the whole place smell like natural soil, which was another plus for me. 8.*