By Anonymous

~

It was the Fourth of July. While the night was filled with the pops and cracks of fireworks, mine was filled with a sort of deep, mind-numbing fear. Earlier that day, I had finally figured out what my sexuality was.

Let me back up a little, though, because that sounded pretty morbid. I've grown up in a southern LDS (Mormon) family my life, and I love them dearly. However, they are not super supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. They were supportive of my sister and best friend, when they both came out as bi, but only because they were supportive of them. At least being bisexual sounded real to them. It didn't sound made up, or "special snowflakey".

I grew up in a very good family, nice houses, didn't live a rough life at all, unlike many other people who are featured in here. But it took me until eighth grade to realize that I finally had a crush, I kinda knew something was up. I didn't really bother with it until this summer, when I had really been trying to figure out my sexuality. I wasn't straight, I knew that. I looked at girls like I looked at boys. I noticed them, but wouldn't pursue it.

The only thing running through my head was, "you are bi, you are bi, and they'll hate you for it". You see, after my sister came out as bi, a few weeks later she came out as straight again. My parents had been talking to her about sexuality. I guess they said something that changed her mind.

There would be no changing my mind. Once I figured out who I was, there was no changing. I didn't embrace it, but I accepted myself for who I was.

I came out to my best friend on October 30th, 2016. She fully supported me, and told me that I should check out GSA. I remain on the fence about that, because I don't want people to know. It might have only been one person that I came out to, but it is my milestone. I remain anonymous on here, but I am asexual. And it is NOT made up.