Present

    "Come on, E," Trinity nudges me, plopping down beside me on my bed, "you can't stay in bed all day."

    "Watch me," I mumble, popping a piece of popcorn into my mouth. I have two more days of "vacation" before getting back to the studio, and I very much plan on spending it just like this, tucked under my covers in my comfiest sweats, watching reruns of trash reality TV, and eating room service.

    I tried going out last night to distract myself from it, and we all saw how that went. Last night keeps playing in my mind like a movie, a trainwreck that I very much want to forget about. I can't help but remember how gross it felt being in that Eli guy's arms and how much I wished they were Jamie's.

    So, I've been distracting myself in different ways, binging love island for so long that my brain feels almost numb. All of the girls spent the night, all squishing together on the two queen-sized beds, wearing matching white robes as we ate chocolate chip pancakes from room service.

    "Trinity's right," Devyn says, frowning at me, "we're all together for the first time in forever. We can't spend the entire time doing nothing. We should go out and have some fun."

    Falling back, my head falls on Lilly's shoulder as I let out a frustrated groan, "But the bed is so comfy, and love island is just getting good."

    "Is it?" Jenna quirks her brow from the other side of the room, taking a sip of coffee, "I feel like I'm losing brain cells over here."

    "Isn't it great," I say, eating another forkful of chocolate chip pancakes, "what a wonderful feeling? No thoughts, just vibes."

    "Alright," Bailey claps her hands together, raising her voice slightly to let me know she means business. "we've been sitting here all morning; we're wasting the day." She grabs the remote, turning the TV off, "We're going out."

    "I'm really not in the mood, Bai," I say tiredly. My heart currently feels like it's breaking all over again, conflicted and confused. I didn't want to have to put on a façade right now and pretend I was confident and okay. I just wanted to sit here in my sadness, which has been building for ages, constantly pushed away.

    "It'll just be us," Bailey reassures, "we can go to the private pool on the roof, the one reserved for VIP hotel guests. We can tan, swim, and read our books. It'll be fun."

    It seems I don't have much of a say in the offer because next thing I know, Trinity is dragging me out of my bed whilst Devyn throws one of my bikinis at me, pushing me into the bathroom to change. Devyn's chosen one of my more revealing bikinis, a black top that crisscrosses across my stomach and low-waisted bottoms that hug my hips perfectly, leaving little to the imagination in the back.

   "You look hot," Lilly exclaims as I walk out of the room, walking into the washroom next to change. Jenna, Devyn and Bailey have left the room, most likely to head back to theirs to change into bikinis of their own. Lilly, of course, is just stealing one of mine, a royal blue one that makes her eyes pop.

    Once Trinity's changed, we head to the elevator, meeting up with the other girls, all of whom are also changed into their bikinis now. "I'm still upset you dragged me out of bed," I say, leaning my back against the elevator wall tiredly.

    "Poor baby," Devyn teases, reaching over to pinch my cheeks, "how will you ever survive?"

     I roll my eyes at her as the elevator opens on the top floor of the hotel. In front of us is a large door leading outside to a pool reserved exclusively for VIPs with special cards to get in, "oh shit," Jenna curses as we reach the door, "I forgot my speaker. I'll be right back."

    "I'll come with," Devyn volunteers, getting back into the elevator with her friend.

      "I just texted Jack," Lilly says to me, looking up from her phone, "he and Masona are gonna join. He said they feel abandoned after not being invited to girls' night."

    I roll my eyes, "drama queens." Then, sliding my key card against the door, it clicks open, allowing me to push it open, "Tell them to bring snacks. If you're forcing me to be here all day, I deserve a treat."

    "Did you not just eat 5 chocolate chip pancakes?" Trinity asks, laughing.

     I shrug, looking over my shoulder at her, "I like sweets when I'm stressed, you know this." She nods because this is common knowledge at this point. It might be a bad habit, but I don't intend on stopping anytime soon. There's something about eating chocolate when you're sad or stressed that makes it all a little bit better.

    "Ooo," Bailey claps her hands together, "I've got some chocolate in my room. Want me to grab it?"

    "Absolutely."

     "I'll come with," Trinity volunteers, "you guys go ahead. We'll be back in a second."

     I wave my hand noncommittedly in the air, longing to sit on a comfy lounge chair and get lost in the book I'd brought in my tote bag. Admittedly, it wasn't nearly as mind-numbing as Love Island, but I'm sure this rom-com would do the trick.

    Lilly stays out, most likely to wait for Jack and Mason, as I lay out on a chair, soaking up the sun, sighing as I shut my eyes. I quickly open them as soon as I do, plagued by a vision of Jamie, his blue eyes the only thing running through my vision whenever I close my eyes.

    It's stupid, but all I can think of is what it'd be like if he were here right now. He'd probably make some comment about my bikini, a whisper in my ear so the others couldn't hear. Then he'd pick me up and throw me into the water before diving in himself, his muscled chest glistening in the water. He'd kiss me and hold my waist to keep me close.

    I'm only broken out of my thoughts when the door slams shut, causing me to flinch. I lift my sunglasses to see who else is out here, expecting one of my friends, secretly wishing it's Bailey above all because she's providing chocolate, "please tell me you-"

    I stop talking when a storm of grey captures my gaze, a dozen emotions flooding through me at once. Jamie's eyes widen in shock, as realization washes over me, "You're fucking kidding me." I mutter, pushing myself up off my lounge chair, pushing past Jamie to get to the door, which has been slammed shut behind him. "Lilly, this isn't funny," I warn as I struggle with the handle. They fucking locked us out here, "open the door!"

    "Can't do that," Jack replies, having to yell to be heard. I should have assumed he was a part of this too.

     But why? They know neither of us wants this.

     "You two need to talk," Bailey adds.

      "No, we don't," I argue, banging my hands against the door angrily, "Bailey, please. I really don't want to do this right now."

     "It's for the best," Of course, my sister is the next to speak. I can picture it now, their proud smirks, their scheme working. When did they even plan this? Why? "You're both miserable, and it's because of each other. So, talk, fix things."

    Devyn chimes in now, "Yeah, we're tired of you two moping around."

    "This isn't funny, guys," Jamie speaks up, not stepping any closer to me, "we talked the other night, and you saw how that went. Just let us out."

    "Not gonna happen, dude," was everyone in on this? Mason speaks next, his tone matter of fact, "We'll be back after sunset. That should give you both enough time to move past your own egos and talk."

    "Sunset?" I squeak, my eyes drifting up to the sky. The sun is hanging high right now, blinding; it isn't going to set for hours, "you can't just leave us out here for that long. What if we need food or water?"

    "There are snacks and water in one of the cabanas," Jenna says next, "have fun."

     Fun? I want to laugh, cry and scream all at once. How was any of this supposed to be fun?

     "Trin?" I call out, banging on the door once more. They've gone silent, "Bai? Lils?" I lean my forehead against the door, frustrated. They're gone.

    They've fucking left me up here with him.

     "Eden," Jamie lets out a breath; hearing him say my name makes my stomach somersault. "I didn't know they were gonna do this, I swear."

    When I turn to face Jamie, he's standing there awkwardly. He's wearing swim trunks and a white t-shirt, his hair messy as he tugs at it with his hands. His eyes widen as I turn, and I'm suddenly all too aware of what I'm wearing.

    More so, what I'm not wearing.

     Jamie and I are locked on this roof for who knows how long, and I am in nothing but a bikini, tiny fabric leaving nothing to the imagination. Great... this is just great.

    Jamie's gaze holds mine, eyes wide, "just..." I sigh, hating the way he's looking at me, wishing I could click my heels together and be anywhere but here. "Don't talk to me, okay? You stay on your side; I'll stay on mine."

    I shoot him a glare as I move back to my seat, no longer comfortable like I had been moments ago. Now all I can think about is how my boobs are spilling out the top of my bikini top, my stomach fully on display. My legs are bare, and my bottoms suddenly too tiny.

   Just pretend he's not here, Eden. I say to myself, pushing my sunglasses back down as I close my eyes, trying not to think of the other presence up here. Trying not to imagine the thoughts that flooded my mind just moments before he got here.

    I'm only broken out of these thoughts when something hovers over me, blocking the sun... or, should I say, someone. When I open my eyes, pushing my sunglasses onto the top of my head, Jamie is hovering over me, now shirtless.

    Could this get any worse?

     "Here," he tosses his white t-shirt onto my legs. He's as toned as I remember him, his chest practically glowing under the sun. I can't help but remember the way it felt to rest my hands on his skin, cheek pressed against his chest as his heartbeat lulled me to sleep. "You look uncomfortable."

    I hate how well he knows me, even after all these years.

    "I'm not," I sit up slightly, crossing my arms across my stomach. I'm severely uncomfortable, practically in my underwear up here. It's not like Jamie hasn't seen this. At one point, he knew my body better than I did, adoring every spare inch of it.

    Jamie's eyes flicker down before moving back up to my eyes. Oh my god... he's blushing. I hate how adorable I still find the Red that splotches across his cheeks as he looks at me. I'm not the only one who finds my current apparel uncomfortable. "I know you, Eden." Jamie laughs, "You keep fidgeting. Just put the t-shirt on."

    I quirk my brow at him, "No."

     "Just put the fucking shirt on, Eden."

     "So demanding," I mutter sarcastically, rolling my eyes as I slide his white shirt over my head. It smells of him, his cologne invading my senses. "Somebody's in a bad mood."

    "Believe it or not, this isn't my idea of an ideal afternoon, Bliss."

     "What, being stuck up here with your evil ex?" I say mockingly, sitting up a bit straighter. He was right, I was uncomfortable in just the bikini, the tiny material making me feel even more awkward about this entire situation.

    Jamie sighs, shaking his head, "I never said that."

    "But you've thought it, right?" I question, genuinely curious, "I'm sure poor Anna must have thought I was some sort of monster." It's probably harsh of me to bring up the girl he just ended things with. For all I know, he could be moping around because of her, not me.

    "What happened to not talking?" Jamie asks, rolling his eyes, "Bored already, Trouble?"

     I don't even know why I'm talking to him right now. I'm supposed to hate him and sit here quietly for the next how many hours we're stuck up here. I'm supposed to stick it out and prove to our friends that this intervention was completely unnecessary. And yet... I'm curious, what happened with Jamie and Anna the other night?

    "Why'd she break up with you?" I ignore his question, brow quirked. Jamie sits on the lounger beside mine, feet planted on the ground still, "let me guess," I say before he can answer my question. I've had so many pent feelings toward Jamie all this time, and now the frustration of being stuck up here, I can't stop. "She got annoyed with you chasing your ex around all night and left?" Jamie opens his mouth to speak, but I continue, "No, no, wait... she heard the evil songs I wrote where I accused you of being the bad guy and realized I was right."

    Jamie tugs at his hair, and I can't help but let my gaze linger on his arms. They've gotten bigger and more muscular over the years. His gaze shifts over to the pool and the amazing skyline view ahead of us, "if you really must know, I broke up with her."

    My smirk falls. I was not expecting that.

     "Why?"

      Jamie looks back over at me, his brow quirked in a way that questions why I'm even asking, him expecting me to know the answer.

    Oh? Oh...

     Shit.

      "You broke up with her because of me?" I question, the words sounding completely ridiculous out loud. This is the same guy who shut me out after our breakup, completely cutting me out of his life like I was nothing to him... and now he's breaking up with girls after speaking to me for less than 10 minutes? "Jamie, why would you do that?"

    "Because you're you, and I'm me?" Jamie says like it's apparent. His answer makes my heart fall in my chest, conflicted. If he felt this way, why did he push me away the way he did?

    I scoff, as clarity floods through my mind, "What the hell does that even mean?" I say, pushing myself off my lounge chair, needing to step away from him. You're you, and I'm me... bullshit. That is complete and utter bullshit.

    "Eden-"

    "No, Jamie," I cut him off, running my fingers through his hair, his dress hitting just above my thighs, the scent of him making me dizzy, "you're being mean. Stop it." He steps toward me, and I shake my head at him, suddenly feeling claustrophobic despite the open air around us. "Do you even feel bad about cutting me off? Because it doesn't seem like it? I called you for weeks, and you just pretended like I didn't even exist."

    "Of course I do," Jamie shakes his head at me, guilty, "I thought of you every fucking minute, Eden. I thought cutting you out would make it easier."

    "For who?" I question, "Because I didn't want you to cut me out, Jamie. I never wanted you to not be in my life. I was just so tired of how hard it all was. I was tired of being hurt."

    "And I never wanted to hurt you," Jamie argues, defending himself, "you fucking broke me that night, Eden. I never wanted to push you away, but I couldn't just be your friend and act like I was fine. I couldn't bare the pain of you not being mine anymore, so I pushed you away." 

    "Well, you did," I say, turning away from him, unable to stand looking into his blue eyes any longer. I cast my gaze on the view ahead, wishing for a way off of this roof, away from this conversation. "And you know what the worst part was?" Jamie stays silent, and I take that as my sign to continue, "When I was crying and needing to be comforted, the only person I wanted to hug was you. I didn't just lose my boyfriend that night. I lost my best friend."

    "I wish I could take it all back," Jamie says, after being silent for a minute, sighing, "I wish I was a better boyfriend to you, that I communicated more and made things easier. I took you for granted, and I'm sorry." I've been longing to hear these words since that night; they almost don't seem real. "I miss you so much, Eden. I miss talking to you, even if it was just a text message saying good morning. I miss you."

    I miss him so much; I don't know what to do with myself. Even right now, when he's a few feet away, it feels like we're worlds apart. He feels like a stranger, someone I once knew lifetimes ago. I didn't want to be strangers anymore.

    I never did.

    "You could've done that, you know?" I say quietly, still unable to look over. Just listening to his voice is making my heart ache. If I were to look at him too, I think my legs might give out, "I wanted you in my life the whole time. I never wanted to lose you, J."

    His old nickname slips past my lips before I can stop it. It came so naturally, easily, like nothing's changed. That's the thing, though, everything has.

     "I didn't either."

      "You've got a really funny way of showing that," I scoff again, shaking my head as I walk away again, back over to my chair. I wish there was a way for me to get off of this stupid rooftop, away from the boy who's done nothing but break my heart.

    "Eden-"

     "Can we just not?" I ask him, my voice cracking as I make my request. Jamie is standing a few feet away, his eyes staring into mine, a storm of blue. It hurts too much to listen to all of his regrets and mistakes, things he can't go back and change.

    If he really didn't want to lose me, he should have done something about it.

    "I know they think talking is good for us, but it's not," I continue, sitting back down and picking up my book. I doubt I'll be able to pay attention to any of the words on the pages now, but at least I can pretend to look busy. "It's actually making things worse."

    I feel pathetic, locked on this roof with the person who I simultaneously love and can't stand. The person I spent months trying to get over and wrote countless of songs about, needing somewhere to write out how I felt. Jamie's silent for a moment as my eyes scan the words on the page, taking in absolutely nothing.

    No matter the word, there's only one thing on my mind, playing on an endless loop.

     Jamie... Jamie... Jamie... Jamie...

     "I never wanted to lose you, Eden." Jamie breaks the silence, pulling me out of my thoughts. I can hear his footsteps getting closer, and it takes everything in me not to look up, staring at the words on the page, which begin to blur together, "Trouble, please look at me."

    My hands are practically shaking as I grip the book in my hand, refusing to look over. Then his presence becomes overwhelming as he sits on the end of my lounge chair, ring-clad hands pushing the book down so he's in focus, "Jamie, please-"

    "No," he cuts me off quickly, not letting me finish what I was going to say, "I need to say this. Eden Bliss, you are the only girl I've ever wanted to be with and probably ever will. I have loved you since I was seventeen years old, and I still love you now. You are my best friend, you are my favourite person, and no one has been able to fill the void left in my life without you, no matter how hard I've tried."

    I search his blue eyes for any ounce of dishonesty, but all I see is truth. Jamie's a bad liar, I've always been able to tell when he's being dishonest, and right now, he's being completely genuine, my heart races as he speaks.

     "If you'll have me, I want back in. Even if you only ever let me be your friend again, I need you back in my life. Even if I have to grovel and beg, I'll do it. I need you back in my life. I know it's my fault that we didn't talk for so long, I was scared and hurt, and I took it out on you. Cutting you out of my life was the worst fucking decision I've ever made, and I've kicked myself ever since because I walked out on the best thing in my life."

    Jamie reaches for my hand, and against my better judgment, I don't pull away. His hands have always felt so right in mine, the missing puzzle piece fitting perfectly. I stare down at our hands, my heart racing so fast I fear Jamie can hear it.

    "I don't think I can survive without you anymore, Eden," Jamie says silently as if there are more people than just the two of us up here, and he's sharing an oath. I look back up at him, my gaze softening as I take in his words, my mind racing on what to say, "I don't want to survive without you."

Sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger. Guess you'll just have to wait for chapter 42 to hear what Edens response is...
As always, leave your thoughts, theories and what you want to see here!!
Hope you're loving reading London boy as much as I'm loving writing it❤️