CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE:
TO DIE OF A BROKEN HEART
(episode one: the gold) 

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

HAVEN REALLY WASN’T SURE how she managed to avoid the pogues for the better part of her day. Somehow, a God out there had listened to her prayers and put her in every class with at least one of her friends, and all the teachers who did enforce seating plans always put her far away from the pogues. Well, all but Mr Sun, that is. He just had to have it out for Haven. She was sure of it. How else would she and Leonie have ended up sitting right behind Arden and JJ? And Brec beside Pope? That was a disaster waiting to happen.

“It’ll be fine,” Leonie deadpanned as she half-dragged Haven over to their allocated tables. JJ and Arden weren’t far behind, Arden with a visible scowl on her face as she gripped JJ’s hand. Yeah, this had to be some sort of sick joke from Sunn. “If she tries anything, I’ll hit her with the ‘you’re boyfriend’s a dilf’ line. Works like a charm.”

Apparently, Arden had super-hearing or something, for her eyes narrowed dangerously into slits. She slammed her bag onto the table in front of Leo, almost like she was imagining it as Leo’s head instead. Leo just chuckled and averted her gaze to JJ with a smirk. Haven shook her head. “You’re disgusting, Leo. That’s my cousin.”

“I know,” she shrugged. “I said what I said.”

Haven supposed now was a good time to explain the Leonie Schneider, JJ Maybank and Arden Kim love triangle. Well, maybe not a love triangle, per say ― a lust triangle? Exes forced to spend time together? Whatever it was, Leo and JJ had history. It wasn’t anything earth-shattering, but from what Haven knew, Leo happened to be one of her cousin’s trysts from the time before Arden. Leonie Schneider was Outer Banks’ newest arrival (well, as new as someone could be when they’ve been living on the island for almost four months) and JJ happened to be her first… well, something. Not quite a friend but someone to share blunts with at the Boneyard and to sleep beside when she wanted a distraction from the sheer pressure of this new life of hers.

That got old pretty quickly, though, and soon JJ was seen around town with Arden Kim hanging off his arm and Leo just kind of moved on. She met Brec and Alison, and nothing else was said about the time she and JJ were a thing. Well, until the moments where Leo wanted to annoy Arden, like now.

Arden Kim wasn’t a jealous person, but she was a bit protective. And hearing JJ’s ex of sorts calling him a dilf… it was safe to say she would’ve started something had Mr Sunn not started up his lesson with a demand for silence.

For a while, things were okay. Not great, but not as horrible as Haven had thought it would be when she first saw all the pogues names’ on Sunn’s seating plan. Occasionally, JJ would pass her crumpled up pieces of paper with random drawings on them (Haven’s personal favourite was a little sketch of Rosie the dog chasing a frisbee, though a close second were stick-figure versions of her and JJ on surfboards) which, Haven would admit, were the highlight of the lesson despite it being one of her favourite subjects. 

But then her phone started ringing, and the momentary peace was shattered. She hadn’t even realised the ringer was still on, so for a second, she was incredibly confused as to how the sound was so loud. In the silence of Sunn’s classroom, it was almost piercing, drawing all eyes towards her. Then she saw JJ and Arden awkwardly reaching for their phones too, and she realised it wasn’t just her, but also the pogues.

Well, this better be good.

“Who’s phone was that?” Sunn asked with a scathing glance around the room full of students. Silence. “Nobody? You will be tested.”

Haven didn’t move, even though a strong part of her wanted to reach into her bag and see who was so desperate to contact her and her old friends. Instead, she stared straight ahead as Sunn continued to ramble about the Roman Empire, a topic she would’ve been avidly paying attention to normally but found hard to listen to now. For the moment JJ slid out of his seat and crawled his way over to Pope and Kie (yes, you read that right) with Arden not far behind him, her eyes were on them almost immediately. Half the class not-so-conspicuously watched as the four went on their phones, sharing a wide-eyed look of shock seconds after. 

Then suddenly, Arden Kim was in labour.

Again?

Haven’s jaw dropped as Arden splashed some water from Pope’s bottle onto her denim shorts and wailed like a banshee. “I’m so sorry, Mr Sunn,” she cried at the glowering man. All the teachers and most of the students knew Logan had already been born. And despite all the gossip, there was no logical way that Arden had gotten pregnant again and was ready to give birth in one month. “I think my waters just broke!”

Haven had to give it to her, she could put on a convincing show. JJ, on the other hand… let’s just say, if this was a play, he would not be casted as the main character. He scooped Arden up into his arms suddenly, practically shouting, “I’m gonna be an appa!” Before running towards the door with Pope and Kie not far behind them.

“Sorry, sir,” Pope stammered, thinking quickly as he started to fan Arden’s dramatic facial expressions with one of their textbooks. “My best friend is in a great deal of pain right now, we all need to be there for moral support.”

Before Mr Sunn could so much as blink, the four were gone, the door slamming shut. Somehow, he went right back into teaching, just shaking his head at the empty chairs behind him. Haven, though, was slower to calm down. Almost on instinct, she had gone to stand up, to follow them. But Leonie’s hand immediately shot out to grab her wrist, her brows furrowed in confusion, and Haven paused. A tether back to reality. This wasn’t the Summer anymore. She had no reason to follow them. Whatever adventure they’d found themselves on, she wanted no part of. Besides, if it was really that important, she was sure JJ would let slip on something sooner or later. So she sat back down, face flushed under Leo’s knowing stare, and threw herself into taking notes. 

It was only when the bell rang that she finally looked up, heaving a sigh as the girls almost immediately flocked to her desk. Wordlessly, she followed them out into the corridor, hugging her books close to her chest, her feet caught between two sides. She shouldn’t be feeling like this, like she’d been left behind. It was not her right to feel this way, and yet a selfish part of her did. Stubbornly, she refused to reach for her phone, even as it continued to ring with texts and Leo and Alison shared a dark look, like they’d known this was coming.

“We’ll catch up with you later,” Brec suddenly decided. At their affronted expressions, she forced out a laugh and ushered Leo towards Alison. “Go on, guys. We won’t be long.”

“Alright,” Leo sighed, but Haven could tell she wasn’t impressed.

Brec waited until the two of them had disappeared into the Lunch Room. Only then did she act, grabbing Haven’s hand and dragging her to the nearest exit, wanting just a second of silence away from the crowded corridors.

“What’s going on?” Haven asked, tugging on the girl’s hand until she was forced to stop and turn back to her. “Brec? Why are you acting so weird?”

“I think you should check your phone,” she said, out of the blue. Haven frowned at her. “Babe, I know you’re trying to put it off. I’m not blind. But I saw something when JJ and the others were beside my desk. And if they get to know, then you should too.”

“Well, that’s not ominous at all,” Haven sighed, but reached into her bag all the same. “Just how bad is it?”

Brec didn’t answer, simply squeezing her other hand once before letting go. It was clear to Haven that whatever Brec had seen was troubling her. She just had this look on her face, one so unlike the soft-hearted girl Haven had grown to enjoy the company of. It made her feel uneasy, like her phone was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. The first thing she saw on the screen were several texts in a groupchat with the pogues and an unknown number. With a lot of reluctance, she put her password in, her eyes briefly meeting Brec’s before looking back down.

And just like that, she felt her world shift out of focus. There was a picture of John B and Sarah on the screen. A new picture. One where they were covered in dirt and grime from life on the run. John B’s hair was longer, and they both looked exhausted, but they were smiling like this was nothing more than a vacation to them. Like they weren’t dead and buried.

“What the fuck?” Haven murmured. She couldn’t find it in her to speak louder than a whisper, even though all she wanted to do was scream. She flicked through the chat briefly, her heart clenching as she read the pogues’ responses. This had to be a sick joke, a way for them to get back at her for being a bitch. Haven felt tears pool in her eyes, tears she stubbornly blinked away as she heard JJ shouting on the other side of the door.

“Haven, don’t,” Brec said upon noticing the contempt on her girlfriend’s face. “Babe, I know―”

But she didn’t know. Neither Alison or Leonie were dead. So before Brec could stop her, Haven shoved open the courtyard door, her eyes narrowing on the pogues’ celebrating figures. Arden and Kie were clutching each other’s hands with joyous smiles on their faces. Pope and JJ were hugging. At that moment, she despised them, even JJ. She wanted to lash out, to smother their happiness until it didn’t have a leg to stand on. How dare they… why would they…

“Haven? Did you see?” JJ beamed at the sight of her. The others immediately went quiet, though the blonde didn’t seem to notice as he bounded over to his cousin with a blinding grin. “Did you―”

“What kind of joke is this?” Just like that, she got what she wanted. JJ’s excited look dropped into a frown. Pope and Kie shared a grimace. Arden’s eyes dimmed before roaring to life with anger. But Haven had her own eyes on JJ, her hands shaking as she shoved the picture of John B and Sarah into his face. “You think this is funny?”

“It’s not what―”

“I thought you’d get it, JJ,” she snapped, voice lowered so that the others had to lean in to hear her. “Would would you―”

“Haven,” he said firmly, hands pressing down onto her shoulders. “This isn’t a joke. I promise.”

“T-They can’t be,” she stammered, struggling to find the right words to explain this dark, gaping hollowness in her chest. She felt like she’d been pushed over the edge of a cliff, and there was nothing but jagged rock waiting to meet her at the bottom. Vaguely, she heard the courtyard door slamming shut and Brec’s footsteps approaching them, closely followed by a snide remark from Arden that Brec simply scoffed at. But Haven couldn’t bring herself to look at them, her eyes locked with JJ’s stern ones. “JJ, please…”

“I promise, Haven,” he repeated, and another wide-brimmed smile spread across his face. He couldn’t contain his excitement, the thought of his best friend being out there… It was no secret JJ had turned to darker methods to cope, like the flask of alcohol Haven had seen in her house more times than she could count. But there was no trace of the grieving heart found in the boy standing before her now. He believed in it. It wasn’t a lie. 

Somehow, John B Routledge and Sarah Cameron weren’t as dead as they seemed.
She didn’t hesitate before hugging JJ tight. Her laughter was frantic, a whisper on the wind, kind of like that sheer relief one would feel after brushing past death and living to tell the tale. John B and Sarah had escaped their brush with death, and they were going to come back to them. In that moment, Haven didn’t care where she stood with the other pogues, who hesitated like lost souls caught between their heads and hearts. She didn’t care about the distance between them, the tears she’d spilled in mourning, the strange existence she’d found herself in, not quite happiness but not quite sadness either.

Her friends were alive. 

Like a drowning man inhaling air for the first time, Haven’s head pushed above water. And she breathed freely with her cousin’s arms stable around her shoulders, Brec’s hand on her back, and a life-changing series of texts in her hands.

John B Routledge and Sarah Cameron were alive.

And while she didn’t quite feel like it at times, so was Haven Murphy.

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

THE THING ABOUT EPHEMERAL happiness was that it was made not to last.
 
An emotion like that was created to be fleeting, there one moment and gone the next. Haven felt the happiness bleed out of her just as fiercely as sorrow. For reality always had a way of dampening her mood. John B and Sarah were alive, but at what cost? A bounty on their heads? Nothing had changed in death. They died as the villians, the murderers. Suddenly coming back to life wouldn’t counter that. They'd need their name to be cleared, and who better for the job than the pogues, who were always supposed to be there?

Haven knew they included her in that, too. It was only two months and one week (yes, Haven had kept count) since she last saw them, but those weeks felt like a lifetime had gone by. They didn’t know everything had changed. That their group had dwindled by one because of her. Before she knew it, Haven’s happiness faded into a guilt so strong, she couldn’t bring herself to conceal it. She wallowed for the rest of the day, her smiles for Brec only brief. Another fleeting thing.

Finally, the school bell rang signalling their freedom, but neither girl felt particularly free as they took their time making their way to Leo’s car.

“You should go to them,” Brec said, her hand in Haven’s feeling like a brick. “They could do with your help.”

Haven looked at her in surprise. “You want me to help clear the name of two criminals?”

Brec just laughed, eyes soft as she and Haven stopped just a metre away from their friends. Neither girl had noticed them yet, so Brec took the opportunity to kiss Haven on the cheek and smile. “You told me they were innocent, and I believe you.” 

She had done that. It was safe to say that Haven didn’t know what to think when Brec just nodded along to the events of her Summer. They’d only been friends for a short while, and yet Brec had just shrugged and said ‘why shouldn’t I believe you? Besides, I never pictured John B as a killer anyway. That boy was way too soft.’ And for the next few weeks, she fiercely defended the fallen teens’ names whenever she heard a bad thing said about them. Soon, even sceptical Leo and Alison were in on it, and Brec’s family too.

Haven supposed that was one of the many reasons she’d fallen for Brec Buchanan, among other things.

“You and I both know you’ll regret it if you don’t,” Brec continued like it was simple. Haven guessed it was for someone like her.

“Will you come with me?” she asked, voice quiet like she was expecting Brec to laugh at her.

But Brec just nodded earnestly. “If you want me to.”

And so it was settled. Haven texted JJ once they were safely in Leo’s car and out of the parking lot, receiving a response just a few minutes later claiming they were at the docks. So she had Leo drop them off on the way, ignoring her questioning look as Brec bid them goodbye. 

Unfortunately, the first to see them was Arden, but her frustration went ignored over JJ’s insistent exclamation of, “We kidnap Rafe Cameron!”

Brec’s footsteps faltered, her doe eyes meeting Haven’s amused ones. “Your cousin is something else.”

“You get used to it,” she chuckled.

The familiar sound caught JJ’s attention. He smiled eagerly. “Well, if it isn’t Havey-Way and her little girlfriend.” He winked at Brec as she waved at the group. “I’ll have to come up with a nickname for you now.”

“Please don’t,” she shook her head.

“Don’t care, I’m going to.”

“Not to be rude, but why are you two here?” Pope interrupted before Brec could retort. At JJ’s pointed stare, he shrugged. “What? I said not to be rude.”

“You’re planning something, right?” Haven asked, refusing to meet the boy’s eyes as she watched Kie and Arden look at each other with that look, like they could communicate telepathically. Haven huffed to herself. “To help clear JB and Sar―”

“Jesus, Murphy, you might as well announce it to the world,” Arden cut her off.

Haven bit down every scathing remark she wanted to throw at her. Now wasn’t the time for an argument. She was here for one reason and one reason only. She wouldn’t be chased away because Arden had a stick up her ass. “I want in. We want in.” She looked at Brec then, realising what she’d said. She wasn’t sure if the girl would want anything to do with the pogues, but judging by her enthusiastic nod that had Arden crossing her arms over her torso, Haven had gotten it somewhat right.

“Great!” JJ exclaimed as the others just looked at her in disbelief. “So as I was saying. We kidnap Rafe, tie him up and stick the gun in his mouth and just wait till he starts squawking.”

“Gun?” Brec repeated incredulously, at the same time as Kie said, “I’m sorry, are we just going to move on from this?”

“Well, I was hoping we would,” JJ sighed.

“JJ, you can’t be serious―”

“They’re my friends too,” Haven snapped at Arden, a hand subconsciously palming at her chest, at the place her heart sat pumping. Every beat felt painful, like she was being told all over again that John B and Sarah were gone. “That hasn’t changed.”

“Good to know you haven’t lost your loyalties completely.”

“You know what, Arden―”

“Does your little girlfriend even know about what happened?”

“I told her.”

“About everything?”

“You bet.”

“Of course you did.”

“Do you really want to start talking about secrets right now, Kim?”

“Guys, come on, Haven’s right,” Pope cut in, much to everyone’s surprise. Arden even smacked his shoulder incredulously, but he just shrugged and glanced up at Haven. The look was the killing blow, the nail in the coffin, but Haven forced herself to stare back until he turned away. She’d get through this. For John B and Sarah. “This is more important than everything else, Ard. We don’t have to be besties, but we can at least work together.”

Arden wasn’t pleased but after a pleading look from both Pope and JJ, she sighed and nodded. It was then she did a double-take, glancing at Pope in disbelief. “Did you just say besties?”

“Anyways,” he said with stubborn ignorance. “JJ, how exactly do you plan on clearing John B’s name from a prison cell? Because that’s a felony…”

JJ rolled his eyes. “Alright, well, what have you got, Pope? I was just trying to keep it simple. You know, one stop and we’re done.”

“Guys, all we need is a material witness,” he said like it was obvious. “We saw Ward’s plane fly right over our heads with the gold inside it. He didn’t fly it. So if somebody else was, they were there on the tarmac. They saw Peterkin get murdered.” Slowly but surely, everything fell into place. “We just have to find whoever that was and get them to confess on record.”

“And how do we do that?” Kie asked.

Pope just grinned. On instinct, Haven seemed to mirror him, like muscle memory. No one but Brec and Pope himself noticed. “A little light espionage.”

And so it began. Haven was officially back with the pogues.