A/N: Okay TRIGGER WARNING! I don't know you guys lives and I want everyone that reads my books to be happy and safe. I won't lie, Mine will take some very dark turns at different points and I will be posting warnings at the beginning of chapters that might have some harsh themes in them. You've been warned if you still want to proceed. I appreciate your reads and votes and messages. Love y'all :)

Ellie

A few months after our 1 am dinner I was on my way to Chris' apartment. He had been acting very strangely lately. Not answering my calls and texts, and even when I went by his house...he always pretended he wasn't home, and since I didn't necessarily have a key, I couldn't find out anything. Only tonight the door was unlocked. I opened the door slowly and let myself into his apartment. It reeked of alcohol.

"Chris?" I asked cautiously

I walked into his living room to see him slumped on the couch, a beer bottle in his hands and several on the floor around him.

"Chris?" I called again

He sat up quickly and I stepped back while he looked around confused and then finally settled his glassy eyed gaze on me.

"Hey amour, when'd you get here?" He asked slurred

"A few minutes ago. What is all of this?" I asked him

"Nothing." He murmured, taking a drag of his beer

"Chris, give me that."

"No." He answered

"Give me the bottle Chris." I said sternly, reaching for it

He snatched away from me and drank down the remaining liquid in one large gulp. He tossed the bottle aside and went for another, but I grabbed it first.

"Enough!"

"Give it back Ellie!"

"Why are you drinking like this?" I asked him

"None of your business."

"None of my business? No, it is my business Chris. You don't answer my calls, ignore all of my texts, and pretend you aren't home! What has gotten into you? What's the matter? This isn't you." I asked him

"Nothing. Just leave me alone." He snapped

He turned away from me and stalked off to the kitchen, no doubt in search of another bottle. I didn't know why...but strangely Chris was becoming more and more distant and less open to me. He didn't talk to me like he used to. We didn't laugh anymore or hang out like we used to. We hardly had been talking. I just wanted to know what happened to my boyfriend.

"I'm not going anywhere. Now you need to stop with the drinking and sober up."

"I'll do what I want Ellie. Now, go home, I'm fine.

"Come on, let's get you to bed alright?" I said, ignoring him

I walked up to him and tried leading him to his bed room so that he could sleep this off. But he shoved me and I stumbled, tripping over a discarded beer bottle and I hit the wall, hard.

He loomed over me, eyes bloodshot and red, swaying slightly to and fro with the neck of a beer bottle grasped tightly in his hand, a stern look on his face. It was the scariest of sights I've ever seen from anyone, even out of all of the patients I've seen over the years. I cowered as close as I could towards the wall.

"What part of 'go home' do you not understand!? I haven't been calling back or answering your messages because I didn't want to, I just want to be alone!" He yelled

He hurled the beer bottle two feet away from me and it hit the wall, spraying beer and shards of glass in the corner it hit. I covered my ears over the noise and squeezed myself into a smaller ball to protect myself. My heart pounded so fast and hard that it was loud in my ears, but I didn't move or make a sound, even with the tears in my eyes, the pounding in my head, and the ringing in my ears.

"Just go away! God, you're so fucking annoying!" He yelled

I laid there until I heard his feet retreat towards his kitchen, no doubt in search of more beer. When the coast was clear, I ran like hell out of the door.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

"He did what!?" Amber yelled

I sat on the couch crying, shaking, and telling her everything that had happened that night.

"I don't know what's gotten into him honestly. He won't talk to me and he's been distant. I don't know what I did."

"You, did nothing. It's all him. Don't you blame yourself for this!"

"You're right."

"Come on hun, let's get you to bed."

We both got up and walked towards our bedrooms. When I reached my door, I heard my phone ringing shrilly and rushed to go get it. When I saw it was Leo, I hesitated to answer it, but did it anyway.

"Hello?"

"Ellie, hey. I uh was calling to tell you I need you to come in tomorrow. One of our doctors got sick."

"Sure. What time's our first patient?"

"Twelve."

"Okay then. Is that all?" I asked

"For the most part. Have you been crying?" He asked softly

"Oh, no no I'm ok. Just under the weather."

"Funny, you seemed fine a few hours ago. Great sparring today by the way."

"Thanks." I said quietly

"Well?" He asked

"Well what?"

"You gonna tell me what's wrong or are you going to keep pretending everything's ok?"

I sighed and got comfortable on my bed.

"Come on, out with it." He gently commanded

"It's Chris. We had a fight that's all."

"You want to talk about it?" He asked cautiously.

"I don't know." I said hesitantly

"Come on Ellie, we're friends here."

I sighed.

"Fine. But if you tell anyone I confided in you, I'll deny it." I murmured

"Deal." He replied

The conversation with Leo was surprisingly.....funny. It was like we were the friends we used to be. He had given me some solace from my feelings, even if it was for a little while. Chris had called me at least ten times while I was on the phone and I didn't answer him. Not to mention all of the text messages I received as well. He'd probably still be too drunk to even decipher what he'd even done. But that doesn't mean I was talking to him at the moment.

After getting off the phone with Leo at almost two in the morning, I decided to turn in for the night and finally sleep. And when I awoke that morning, I saw that Chris had called me twenty times and texted me another thirty. I went to the oldest one first

"I don't know what happened last night amour, but I am so sorry. PLEASE talk to me."

I ignored it, deleted all of my alerts and went to the bathroom to get ready for work. After getting ready and dressed, I walked out to the living room to find Leo of all people sitting on the couch.

"Uh...hi. What are you doing here?" I asked confused

"I thought we should carpool to work."

I looked over at Amber, who simply shrugged her shoulders and left the house, parting us a goodbye. She was such a big help.

"Uh, I don't mean to be rude or anything Mr. Calvary, but last night wasn't an invitation for you to come by and ask that we ride to work together like we're friends or something."

The look on his face was incredulous.

"I thought that you might need a friend right now."

"It was just one fight. We'll get over it, I just talked to you because I needed to vent. Boss and employees don't carpool to work together."

"Actually some do-"

"That's besides the point, we're not friends."

God why was I acting like this? It was a reflex I guess, every time Leo tried getting just a bit closer to me again, I always made sure that he was pushed 1,000 steps back. It was so automatic now that I hardly realized that I did it. I know I shouldn't have treated him like this, but what could I do? Ugh, this was so annoying. I could never tell him that being anywhere near him made me feel things I hadn't in awhile, and it had gotten much worse since I came back home. I couldn't let him figure it out.

"Really Ellie? It's been almost three years now, when are you going to let this go!?" He yelled

"What are you talking about?" I asked, expression impassive.

"You know what I'm talking about! I made a mistake, I get that, but all I've been trying to do for the last year is to gain your forgiveness. I understand that I did a shitty thing to you, that I hurt you, and I am so sorry for that. I am sorry! But I don't know how long you're gonna make me pay for this!"

"You don't get it, there's no time limit on when I'll be able to forgive you."

"Haven't I shown you that I should be forgiven by now? I've given you your space and all I have tried to do was try staying away from you, but at work we have no choice but to see one another. And I gave you your job back."

"Because no one else in town would hire me. Trust me, I didn't have a choice."

"Either way Ellie, you can't get rid of me. You can't simply wish me away from you because you're mad at me and because I was such an asshole to you a few years ago. I know, I fucked up with you big time, and I am so sorry that I disrespected you like that. Everyday I see you and I just think about all the pain I caused you, and that I myself am hurting because I hurt you."

"Stop it."

"No, you stop it. How long are you gonna make me pay for this?"

"I'm not making you pay for anything."

"That's bullshit and you know it." He said

"You're the one that keeps trying to fix something that you should've been given up on!"

"I'm not giving up on you."

"Why not?!"

"Because I still love you Ellie!" He yelled

My heart secretly sped up in my chest and I took a step back. I had heard him say this before, a couple of times in fact, but this time for some reason, I actually believed him.

"Stop it."

Broken record much?

"And I know you still love me too." He said, voice thick with emotion

"That's ridiculous, I'm with Chris, you know that."

My own eyes started to water. Damn it emotions, now was not a good time!

He walked up closer to me until he was towering above me.

"You don't love him like you love me Ellie, you don't even look at him like you used to do me. Any fool can see that. And if you think you love him, then you're just lying to yourself."

"And what makes you so sure that I still love you?"

"It's all in your face. I know you better than you do. When we spar, I see it. You think I don't notice the little glances you make or the slight blush in your cheeks when I get too close to you? You can hide behind your hurt and anger for as long as you want, but it'll never fool me. And when you're ready to be truthful to yourself, you'll know where to find me. I'll see you at work."

And just like that, he left.