Ellie

Today I had decided to go to my favorite spot in the park to clear my head. I hadn't told anyone about what had happened a few days prior, and I had no intentions to. I was starting to lose my mind it seemed. When did my life get to this point? My own boyfriend turned into a monster when he got angry. And now, I was having nightmares about it. But I wouldn't tell anyone about it and when Amber asked about it, I refused to tell her anything. Even though as a therapist I knew what he was doing would only escalate....I couldn't bring myself to end it anymore. It had been a year and three months at this point, and I had refused to give up so easily. He just needed some help. And he needed someone there for him while he was going though this. My phone started ringing and I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey.... can you come to my house please?" Chris asked

"I can't. Amber's having a meeting in a few hours."

"Please?" He said desperately

I sighed.

"Fine. Be there in ten."

I hung up the phone and got up from my spot. As I walked to my car, I got another call. Without looking at the caller Id, I answered it.

"Hello?" I asked a bit too forceful

"Hey Ellie, you alright?" Leo asked

"Yeah...sorry. What's up?"

" I was just asking if there was a meeting today."

"There is. 4 oclock at the St Andrew's Church."

He chuckled.

"Josh is clever."

I was about to ask what he meant, and then it occurred to me: The name of the church. A furious blush crawled over my cheeks as I remembered my first night strapped to it's name sake in The Room. 

"That he is. Is that all you needed?"

"Uh...yeah, yeah that's all. Ill see you later."

Click.

I put my phone away and then got into my car to drive to Chris' house. When I got there, he was standing outside waiting for me. I killed the engine, got out, and walked towards him highly guarded.

Take deep breathes Ellie, you can do this.

 I stopped a few inches in front of him.

"Hey beautiful." He smiled

"Hey." I said quietly as he ushered me inside

" What's the matter? Why you all the way over there?"

"I gotta make this quick, I got some things for Amber I need to pick up." I lied

"Can I at least have a hug?" He asked quietly

I slowly walked up to him and hugged him. He squeezed me tight and held me fast to his chest. I started to panic a little but I forced myself to keep calm as his strong arms restricted me. When he let me go, I stepped back once again, but not too much.

"You sure you can't stay a little while?"

"No." I said dryly

"Why not?"

"Because Chris, I don't really want to be around you right now." I said, startled at my own honestly

But it felt good to be honest for once.

"What do you mean?" He asked, wounded

"Seriously? What do I mean?! Are you experiencing memory loss!? You have thrown things at me, yelled at me, and smacked me for no reason! Everyday is a fight against myself to either leave you or stay. I know you're going through some things but that's no reason to take it out on me like your personal punching bag!" I yelled

"Look I'm sorry-"

"YOU'RE SORRY!? How many times are you gonna keep saying that Chris? All you're gonna do is say it and then do it again. No amount of flowers or fucking apologies are gonna fix this or you! You wanna really make it up to me? How about you let me help you!?"

"Because you can't! No one can. You don't think I've been to VA before all of this? Well guess what, I have! But they are so damn backed up that I could not even be seen at the time. So I tried therapists and it only got worse from there. You were the only one that could help me. And if I hadn't stupidly fallen in love with you, then I still could've been helped. But now....i don't know how to cope anymore! I lost my job and my family won't talk to me. I have no one Ellie!"

"You have me Chris." I said, stepping forward.

"No I don't. I never have and you know that." He said softly, looking at the wall behind me

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Don't think I don't notice how you look at him. And how you don't look at me."

"Him who?" I asked confused

"Don't you do that, you know exactly who I am talking about."

"You mean Leo?"

"Yes, Leo! All the shit he's done, and here you are hanging out with him having late nights at work!"

I only had one late night.

"Whoa, let's get something straight here: you were the one to ask him if he could give me sparring lessons and that was only ONE night that I ever stayed late because I have a job to do! You can't blame me for having to work Chris."

"You chose to work there and with him!"

"No one else would hire me! What do I look like not having a job?"

"Some one taken care of! I would've went to work and have you stay home. Would've bought you everything you ever wanted."

"Yet now you don't have one." I said acidly

"Elli-"

"Let's get something straight: I don't depend on anyone! Especially a man because I can do it myself, make my own money, etc!" I said, getting close to him

"So you got it all figured out huh?" He asked facetiously

"Yes, you need back off! And you need to get into your head that nothing is happening between Leo and I. We're just friends!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" I said exasperated

"And you don't have any feelings for him?"

"No." I said dryly

"Good." He said, walking towards me

"Not so fast." I said, pushing him away from me.

"What?"

"Let me make this very clear: If you ever harm me again, we are through Chris. You understand me?" I asked sternly

"Yes. And I am so sorry for how I've been acting and how I've been treating you. It wasn't right of me. But I'll be better Ellie, I promise." He whispered

He gripped my chin between his fingers as he talked, getting closer towards my face. I closed my eyes as he captured my lips between his. Even with the very passion in this kiss, I had noticed that the feelings were starting to fade. I didn't know when we had gotten to this point, where I was the one finally sane, and Chris was the one coming apart at the seams. It was never supposed to be this way, but somehow, it turned out to be just that. I was like a tornado in life: destroying everything and everyone in my path.