As the last tear dropped I remembered they were coming tomorrow and a set of fresh tears appeared again.

I cried for the entire afternoon that day. I cried for my past sins which caused this. I cried for Mukhlis who is no more there. I cried for Rukkaya who loved her fiancée more than her sister. I cried for my parents who didn't trust me anymore. I cried because I knew I didn't deserve their trust. I cried for this generation and the next generations to come where most sins were not considered as sins.

After I prayed subhi, I took my qur'an to read but I couldn't concentrate. My mind was preoccupied with a number of depressing thoughts. One of them being how my family's visit was would turn out. I closed the holy book and laid it on the bedside table. It was 5:30, they were coming in about 6 hours. I couldn't sleep a wink. At 9, I took my bath and went out to greet Kakani. I kept chewing my fingers and pacing up and down. It felt like minutes when I heard the familiar horn of our car. They were here.

Even though it was only two weeks, it felt like I haven't seen them in years. I peeped through the door as my parents and siblings made their way to the entrance. Kakani was standing there ready to welcome them. As they came closer I noticed Hussain's hair had grown while Hassan had shaved his' in a modern style. How Mama allowed him to shave his hair like that was beyond me. Both of them looked more handsome and taller as they walked into Kakani's room. They had to bend their head as the cikin gari mud houses had small doors.

Rukkaya's face was glowing. I guessed she had already started the gyaran jiki. My eyes felt on my beloved parents. I examined Baba and noticed something was missing from his face, I wondered what it was. I couldn't put my finger on it. He looked different, I noticed the length of his beard had shrunk. But apart from that something else was different. Then it donned on me. His smile, his perfect warm affectionate smile was nowhere to be found. The one that was always on his face when he sees his little baby girl, when he sees me. Mama's face was pale and there were bags under her eyes. She looked almost as bad as I did. O Allah! What have I done? And how I missed my family.

I couldn't make my legs walk to Kakani's living room where my family was. After peeping through the door for thirty minutes, I decided it was time. I took my black veil and walked to the room with my heart very heavy.

Baba was sitting on the carpet close to Kakani. Mama and Rukkaya were sitting on the couch together with Kakani while the twins were sitting opposite them. I said Hi to the twins first. Hassan looked up from his phone and gave me a small smile while Hussain just nodded. I squatted next to Baba and said, "Sannuku Baba, Barka da rana,"

"Yawwa" he answered without even looking at me. I waited for him to say something else but nothing came. I expected something like 'lafiya qalau babyta or er auta ta. Ya kike? Ya karatu. Exams din de suna sauki koh'. I heard nothing, so I swallowed the lump in my throat and went to the next person. Immediately Rukkaya saw me she hissed and brought her phone out pretending to be using it. I moved to Mama and greeted as well "Ina wuni Mama," She pretended as if she didn't hear anything as she walked out of the room. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran back to my room and cried. I cried myself back to sleep.

I woke up around magrib with a headache and stomachache. I hadn't eaten anything for the whole day. I folded my legs on top of the bed and remembering the weeks' event, tears started welling up in my eyes again.

How could they?

How could they not trust me?

How could they not believe me?

I told them it was in the past I had now changed but none of them believed me.

What's the use?

What's the use of being a good muslim if your mother won't believe you are one. It hurt. It really hurt to think your parents see you as a 'mara tarbiya'. I tried. I tried my best to change, to please Allah, to be better. It wasn't easy. It wasn't easy changing from a Miss World; The Queen Bee, The Most Popular Girl in school, a girl who gets anything she wants, has boys running over her feet, dresses to impress the whole school to a Miss Akirah;The girl that strives hard for Jannah, the one that tries her best to do her Hijab properly , the one that makes sure she does her prayers at the correct time, the one that wants to please her Allah . And after months I started to achieve what I wanted and started to be used to it, and they just had to ruin everything by thinking I was still the old me.

I heard voices coming from Kakani's living room which meant they were still here. I immediately went back to my room and back to sleep.

It was Kakani that woke me up from sleep. "They are gone,". She said knocking on the door. I opened my eyes and muttered; "Thank God" .She sat down beside me on the bed and opened her mouth to speak but decided against it cause she closed it almost as fast as she opened it.

"What is it Kakani?" I asked. "What do you want to say?"

"They told me what you did and I'm very disappointed. I can't believe you did that and ran here thinking I would back you up. I'm sorry I won't. You can keep staying here till they forgive you but I am not going to support you. I am not going to start acting like you don't exist like they do. I am just going to act like I don't know why you are here." She dropped a yellowish card on the bedside drawer. "You may like to take a look at this." With that she left.

As soon as she closed the door, I turned around to see what she dropped. A card, an invitation card. With shaky hands I took the card and read its contents.

The family of Alhaji Muhammad Gambo and that of Alhaji Bello Magaji invites you to the wedding fatiha of their children

Rukkaya Muhammad Gambo

And

Umar Faruq Magaji

Which will take place on Saturday 26th August 2017.

Time: 11:00am

Venue: Chano Central Mosque.

Rsvp:.

All my hope vanished and I felt my heart clench in my chest.

I noticed two things, the wedding was in the next two weeks and it was the same day as my graduation. There and then I took a black Abaya veil and walked out of the house.

I didn't think anyone can ever feel more depressed and broken than I was feeling. I couldn't describe how broken and depressed I was. I walked in the lonely dark street for the very first time in my life not afraid of anything. In today's world where kidnapping, arm robbery and rape wrtr very common. Any sane person was suppose to be afraid of walking alone at night but I wasn't. I had nowhere else to be. No one was worried about me. No one cared. I didn't think anyone will notice if I was gone. I doubt if they'll pay my ransom if I was kidnapped.

I walked into the main street that had street lights and sat down on a bench. If no one cared about me I still cared about myself. I didn't want to get myself killed.  Don't they say that everyone has to live a little, I was ready to start living.

For the first time in the past two weeks, I removed my phone from flight mode. Various messages kept popping up. Messages from Leena and my other friends asking why I missed two of my exams. Messages from Uncle Nour asking how I was doing. Messages from Danmaula asking why I wasn't home and when we would continue our hadda. I ignored everything and went to snapchat. I started viewing the snaps and soon I found what I was looking for. Now who is Yusuf Liman? After much thoughts I remembered he was one of my juniors. I checked instagram and thankfully he was the type that had his whatsapp number on his page. I dialed and he picked up on the second ring.

"Hameeda mg!! Is that really you? Are you the one calling me?" I heard his excited voice over the loud music playing in the background.

"Hello Yusuf, how are you?"

"I'm fine dear, what about you? How are you? How are your exams?"

"Everything is fine. I see you are having fun at your party. How I wish I could join but unfortunately I don't have a ride."

"Really? You want to come? Wow!!! Guys Hameeda Mg wants to come to my party! I am on my way to pick you up. You live at Summer camp right?"

"Yes but right now I am in Babban titi. I will wait for you by the bus stop there"

Few minutes later I saw the headlights of a car and an EOD stopping. Yusuf jumped out of the car, hugging me he asked what I was doing all alone in this street.

I awkwardly hugged him back as I wasn't used to these kinds of things now.

"I went for the weekend at my grandma's place. I was so bored that's why I decided to go out and have some fun. The house is inside lungu. You wouldn't understand if I describe it to you, that's why I am here."

He nodded his head and opened his car door for me. I made myself comfortable in the passenger's seat. I was slightly afraid but I brushed it off. The last time I drove alone with a male was months ago. Soon we reached the party. Music was blasting in the restaurant. Yusuf parked the car and opened the door for me. A couple of people recognized me and came to say hi after I stepped out of the car.

It was forever since I last went to a party. I was not really a fan of parties. I had been to three or four with Hamdan and the gang but that was about it. Parties were a pain, not only was it difficult to sneak out of the house at night but parties were just not my thing. None the less I plan on enjoying myself to the fullest today. I needed to get things off my head. What better way to do that. I would do what people in movies do to clear their heads. I wanted to forget about everything that's going on in my life.

I was about to step into the hall when my phone beepee indicating a new message.

In one of the ahadeeth about the signs of the hour narrated by Abu Hurairah, the Prophet (SAW) said, "Time will pass rapidly, good deeds will decrease, miserliness will be thrown (in the hearts of the people), afflictions will appear and there will be much 'Al-Harj' ". They said, "Oh Allah's Apostle! What is 'Al-Harj'?" He said, "Killing, killing."

Have you noticed that all of the signs mentioned in the hadith have appeared?

There is not even one that hasn't. We notice them, particularly Al-Harj, everywhere and at all times either physically, or when we are reading or watching local or international news. However, people with their habit of always wanting to make themselves believe that what they fear is far from coming try to convince themselves that some haven't.

But there is no point in doing that, for it will surely come at an appointed time. And that appointed time is obviously not far away, for other than the signs mentioned above, others have also appeared. In fact, some of them appeared as far back as a millennium and four centuries ago. The advent of the Prophet (SAW) is one such sign. So also is the splitting of the moon which happened during his lifetime.

"Are they waiting for anything except the Hour, to come to them suddenly? But its Signs have already come..." [Quran 47:18] They indeed have and the coming of some of them has had significant effects on us.

For instance, the effects of the tribulations are so significant that we sometimes feel sorrier for the living instead of the dead

HassanMBG

It was a message from Najib. Najib once in a while sent me articles and Islamic reminders. When I finished reading the article I felt tears welling up in my eyes. It was then I understood what I was about to do. My senses came back to me. What is wrong with me? How dumb am I? How disappointed I am in myself? How could I allow how dejected I am to affect me, to affect not just my emotional state but also my spiritual? I sat down on a bench outside the restaurant not knowing what to do.

What had I done to myself? The hour might come any time and I was about to commit a sin. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. O my Allah. Like what the last part of the essay said, I felt sorrier for myself than Muklis. He had repented and died and I was still here sinning. Tears started rolling down my eyes as I remembered how I almost partied.

I looked around me and saw men and women in little clothing entering the hall, men with women in their arms, others with bottles in their hands, others with cigratte. I remembered Mama, Baba, and Uncle Nour. I remembered the picture and what was going on in my life. My parents hated me because they thought I was not a good muslimah and instead of proving them wrong, proving to them that I was one, I was about to go back to my old ways. I thought about the sins I was about to do and the punishments I would be generating for myself.

Checking the time, I saw it was almost one I was still there alone. All the people in there were strangers and mostly drunk. I couldn't risk my life going home with them and I had no one else that cared. As I was thinking I heard a peep from my phone indicating a new message.

'Assalama alaikum Hameeda. How have you been? I hope you are doing great. May Allah the Almighty bless you with health, happiness and love. May He forgive all your sins.

May He give you the best in this world and in the hereafter and may He grant you Aljannah firdausi.'

Just wanted to remind you you are always in my duas.

Goodnight. Ma'asalam!

'And are there any prayer better than these ones?' I felt my heart melted.

So there's someone that still cared. Tears started rolling down my cheeks as I pressed the call button.

A/N

Belated Happy birthday @Leemah_ilah. The update is your birthday gift.

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Sorry for another boring chapter , I promise the next one will be more interesting!