"Closing our eyes can be a momentary escape,

but does it imply that reality never existed?

Does turning a deaf ear mute the screams,

or can viewing a broken-down watch stop time?

Do we ever pause to contemplate

when we race to try and get ahead?

Do we retrospect what was left behind,

or disregard the past as we step forward?

How do we make elaborate plans,

when the darkness in the tunnel of the future,

is only lit for one day?

How do we navigate through the mystery,

and tackle unforeseen storms,

when we can never see the unforgivable hereafter?

How do we anticipate optimism,

and try to be prepared for what we dread.

How is it that we 'take things slow',

but in our hurry to live, we forget how,

getting carried away by the current,

led away by the tides of time...

How is it that we crave adventure,

but feel sceptical about letting go of comfort?

Why do we wish for stability and yet dread what's mundane,

trying to find our fits, and alas, drive ourselves insane?

Maybe we overthink, or perhaps we don't at all...

it may be a pain to think if we'll rise or fall.

What's yet to come is uncertain today,

but isn't today the same tomorrow you looked forward to

yesterday?

Maybe it's time to take a deep breath and rid ourselves,

of the confines, we put on our minds,

to stop and think of what we have,

to plan, but also to live in and

cherish the moment,

and to not lose sleep over what's vague.

Maybe it's time to entwine our fingers,

to feel the heat of our breaths together,

to caress the fear away,

to live and start with one day,

one brief moment..."

-Elegiac_Damsel

_________

Third person's point of view:

31st August

The most significant shocks we experience leave a mixture of feelings coursing through us, characterised by fear, nervousness, spontaneity, and unexpectedness, and frequently accompanied by inexplicable joy or unprecedented, extreme sorrow. Being unprepared for something unexpected is the most fearful aspect of any uncalled-for situation, sometimes dreaded. Alas, when the moment strikes, we only feel acute numbness.

Numb, frozen, and unable to react was what Mrinalini felt at that moment.

She sensed Debarghya looking up at her in scepticism, shame, defeat, fear of judgment, and acute helplessness visible in his vulnerable gaze. The insecurity he felt radiated through the tight grip he held Mrinalini's hand in his, exhaling audibly, his exhaustion and pain apparent. She struggled not to feel flabbergasted and defeated even as she inhaled deeply, meeting her husband's expectant gaze.

"We'll figure something out," she said, breaking the heavy silence that seemed to have stretched for several hours. Still, in reality, only a few moments had transpired. "We have savings enough to last a couple of months at least, don't we?"

Slowly, Debarghya nodded. "Our savings bank account balances combined can help us last a month or so, and my salary account has enough to last another month or more. A few fixed deposits are yet to mature, but we can facilitate premature withdrawal. That puts us at around four months of survival. However, at the end of it all, we will have exhausted the entirety of our savings. It's a dead end, either way, Mrinal. At this moment, I am at a total loss. I don't know what needs to be done first. I am worried about expenses, getting a new job, and what if I don't get one due to my dismal qualification..."

"Shhh," Mrinalini shushed him. Embracing him tightly as she let him rest his head on her shoulder, she could feel the heat from his exhales on the sensitive skin of her nape. "I know it is difficult, Debarghya," she breathed out, rubbing his back reassuringly. "But we need to get through this. You can have two days to rest your mind and map out what you need to do as we move ahead. Take some time off first and then update your CV, scroll through LinkedIn and any other sources you can think of and start looking for a new beginning."

He looked up at her, nodding helplessly, as he brought his arms around her waist, seeking comfort from her warm embrace.

"Meanwhile, till we begin afresh, we have our savings, and I'll continue taking tuitions in the evening. There's an opening for students in the university to work part-time in the lab. It will pay a decent stipend if I can apply for it and get the position. I'll submit my application this Monday," Mrinalini continued, smiling slightly. "Let's take one day at a time, shall we?"

"We can try," he affirmed in a low voice. "Don't tell my mother or my siblings, Mrinal. This piece of information has to remain between us."

She nodded understandingly. "This will remain between the two of us. It is going to be okay, Debarghya."

And as she said the words, she prayed that it would be so, soon enough.

...

14th October

The season of fallen dry leaves and cool breeze accompanied by fading grey clouds and momentary drizzles, autumn descended on the City of Joy. The festive season was here, and the streets of Kolkata thronged with crowds who were out to celebrate the auspicious festival of Durga Puja.

It had been close to two months that Debarghya had been unemployed. Their household had been running on their savings since and on Mrinalini's modest combined income of Rs. 12000 that she earned by working as a lab assistant at the university and by taking tuition in the evening once she returned home from her classes. With the ongoing festive season and their family members being unaware of their financial situation, Debarghya and Mrinalini had put aside additional money to get everyone at least one new piece of clothing as a gift, as was customary. They had even sent some money to Shantiniketan for Rai and Brindadebi to treat themselves to something new. This Durga Puja, being Anumegha's first after marriage, they had sent gifts for her husband and her in-laws at Debjani's insistence as a courtesy. They had deliberately chosen to forfeit getting new clothes for themselves. However, at Debarghya's stubborn insistence, Mrinalini had decided to buy a plain cotton sari for herself to wear on Mahashtami. She had, in turn, gotten him a new tie. "For the next job interview that you appear for," she had said, smiling.

The past couple of months, he had been pressing and immensely difficult for Debarghya. He had updated his CV and had applied to countless organisations and companies, trying hard for a position that paid at least as much as he had been earning before being fired, but to no avail. To put on a show in front of his unsuspecting mother, he would leave home every day without fail like he used to back on the job, sometimes leaving to appear for a few job interviews and sometimes just lingering around nearby, trying to find a quiet place, away from prying eyes, so he could look for more job opportunities online or attempt to complete a few professional courses that could boost his chances of finding employment. Mrinalini had tried her level best to cut down on unnecessary household expenses to save up any savings they could for an unprecedented rainy day. Her undeterred maturity had been a rock for their relationship and helped them navigate each trying, frustrating day.

It was Mahashtami, the fourth day of the five-day festival that all of Bengal eagerly waited all year round. Decked in the new sari and her marital finery, Mrinalini looked at her reflection in the mirror as she applied vermilion to her parting. Her eyes looked slightly hollowed, reflecting the countless sleepless nights she could recall with her equally restless husband, who spent long hours tossing and turning each night, with lines of worry etched over his normally calm features.

More than facing hardships, what felt much harder to both of them was the pretence they had to put up in front of their loved ones. Lying to Debjani's face each time they put on the charade was a tough pill to swallow. The unknown duration of their prolonged ordeal was nerve-wracking. It had taken a toll on Debarghya's health and sanity. He had suffered from fever more than twice during his unemployment period. Sometimes, Mrinalini would wake up to him mumbling to himself incoherently in his sleep.

"Are you ready?" Mrinalini heard Debarghya ask her as he fastened his watch to his left wrist, looking at his wife through her reflection in the mirror. "Ma has already left with Rishi. We should get going, too. At the cusp of the circumstances that we are in, we desperately need as many prayers as we can get," he chuckled humourlessly.

"Arghya," Mrinalini sighed. "We need to be patient. We need to accept it is how it is. What would come of pitying our situation? I know this is tough, but God isn't some wish-granting factory where you close your eyes, and He grants you a wish. It takes time for good things to happen. You need to believe this."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "I wish I could borrow some of your optimism at the moment. I don't know how you have endured unfavourable circumstances and still hold on to faith and optimism."

She smiled slightly. "When my family had coaxed me into marrying, I had cursed my luck, but it did turn out to be bearable. When I had to take a drop year, I was sceptical and afraid that I would never be able to return to academia ever again. With whatever has transpired in life, there have been more instances that got me stunned, finding it difficult to recover, but I did because neither life nor time waits for you to collect your broken fragments. This is just another such phase, and we'll get over it. It won't always be this difficult. You can only go upward if you are at your lowest right now. I know it has been taking time, and the multiple job rejections have been tough, coupled with the worry and stress that have been weighing you down. Just be patient. I believe in you, and I know we'll get over this. It isn't my irrational optimism speaking, Debarghya, but my unwavering belief in destiny."

"I hope you are right, Mrinal," he whispered. "We should get going for the puja now."

...

16th October

"Bouma," Debjani's voice made Mrinalini pause, keeping her from exiting her mother-in-law's room.

It was Vijaya Dashami and the idol of Goddess Durga, decked in her finery, wielding lethal weapons in her ten hands accompanied by the idols of her sons, Lords Ganesha and Kartikeya, and the Goddesses Saraswati and Lakshmi had just been taken for immersion after four days of ceremonial festivities. As was customary, Mrinalini had stepped into her mother-in-law's room to touch the dust of her feet to her head, to seek her blessings. Debarghya and Debrishi weren't home as they had chosen to accompany the other boys from the neighbourhood to Babughat, situated on the banks of the Hooghly River, for the immersion.

"Come here and sit down for a while, will you, child?" she continued as her daughter-in-law turned to face her.

Hesitantly, Mrinalini sat at the corner of her mother-in-law's bed, waiting for her to continue the conversation. "Has something been troubling you lately?" she began without a preamble. "I couldn't help but notice significant tension between you and my son. Is something wrong?"

Shaking her head, willing herself silently not to divulge any details of what had been troubling them and their household indirectly, she replied, "Nothing is bothering me in particular, Ma. Our strenuous schedules and commitments have been difficult to balance and tackle. There's Nothing about which you need to be worried. There isn't any palpable tension between us, but just a phase during which we both struggle with being overwhelmed."

"Child, I am decades older than you, and I am the one who birthed my son, not the other way round, so trust me when I say this, I can sense something is wrong. Whether or not you share with me is absolutely up to you and your wisdom, but I just wanted to speak to you regarding my hunch," Debjani replied coolly. "Are you liking university?"

Startled at the abrupt change of topic, Mrinalini hesitated briefly before replying, "It is a good experience, Ma. It isn't the same as graduation, but it is good all the same. The lab is well-equipped, and the professors are helpful and encouraging. I hope I get ample hands-on experience so that it can help me with my research later."

"It's nice to hear that you are enjoying your classes," Debjani replied, smiling warmly. "It must be tough for you to manage everything. I wish I could help you a bit more, but being handicapped isn't easy. I don't know what made you marry my son despite knowing there was a liability in the form of a physically challenged mother-in-law."

"Ma," Mrinalini reprimanded her mother-in-law in an angry tone. "You aren't a liability. You have been way more supportive than I could have ever imagined. You have been helping me even though it isn't easy for you. I can't express it in words, Ma, but I think you don't know how much being able to pursue higher education despite my marital status means to me. It may not be easy with everything, but the preconceived notion that marriage spells the termination of your dreams and goals has been defied. I couldn't have done this had your son not been there."

"Does having a mother-in-law who isn't an unnecessary hindrance help the cause?" Debjani inquired jovially, inciting a giggle from her daughter-in-law. "Definitely," she agreed.

"On a serious note though, Bouma," Debjani continued, her demeanour changing. "This has been on my mind for long enough and I think it is high time that I express and share my concerns with you. I have been an educated woman who has worked for several years post-marriage. I have a daughter close to your age, which has always made me liberal and open-minded. I am open to you pursuing higher education like you aim to, but there's an aspect that I think you need to consider and keep in mind."

"Why are you being so obscure, Ma?" Mrinalini asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. "Is there something wrong?"

"Lately, I have been concerned about what might be challenging for my son," she began. "In the past few days of festivities and celebration, I couldn't help but overhear many people passing comments about how you were about to become more qualified than Debarghya is."

"Don't get me wrong, child," she quickly interjected, observing as confusion and dread flooded into Mrinalini's features. "I am neither questioning your decision to continue your academic pursuit nor am I opposing any resolution you and Debarghya may reach during your marriage. However, I felt you should be prepared for what the world thinks and the emotional turmoil it might throw for you and my son and your relationship."

"I am afraid that I am unable to follow what you are saying, Ma," Mrinalini responded coolly, the conundrum described by her mother-in-law appearing more complex by the second. "I don't understand why my decision to study further and seek better qualifications might be a cause of concern regarding our relationship since your son is the one who has backed me in the first place."

"Backing you was his decision based on his goodwill and judgment, and dare I say, out of love and respect for you. What the world says might be secondary and irrelevant regarding decision-making, but sharp words can have the intensity to tear through one's resolve. It may not affect you because you know what you are doing is right and take pride in it, irrespective of any outsider's opinions. Still, my child, it would help if you understood that the sharp words of criticism, contempt, or even thoughtless scrutiny could demean your husband. When a man is equally or more qualified than a girl is, in Indian society, it is deemed alright, in correspondence with what has been the norm. But when a woman strides forward in academia or career when compared to their spouse, they are looked down upon and stereotyped as careerist and self-centred. In this conundrum, while women fall victim to ego clashes and incessant taunts, men suffer silently."

Mrinalini was quiet. She had anticipated several interruptions and perhaps even discouragement from those around her when she enrolled at the University. Having paid no heed to anyone or their unrequited opinions, she had set off towards her goal. Rai had warned her initially, asking her to be careful of what she did at the University as a married student had its drawbacks. Any slip on her part would set tongues wagging ruthlessly, judging her with immense harshness. Along this entire journey, though, when she had laid down next to Debarghya at night, recounting her day and sharing her experiences with him, she had noticed a distant longing look in his eyes that had been almost melancholy, had there been more weighing him down than just his state of unemployment? She couldn't tell. She could, however, recollect quite a few moments in the past few months when he would regretfully demean himself and his dismal qualifications as he contemplated his inability to provide more luxuries for their family, reprimanding himself for not being able to earn more than what he did.

"My son has had his share of struggles," Debjani continued, touching her daughter-in-law's hand. "I know he tries his best to do what he does, but his shortcomings haven't gone unnoticed by himself. He has tried to educate his siblings and is giving his best to help you attain your goals, but he is only human. There are times when he'll feel frustrated, perhaps even insecure. He has never taken it out on his siblings, but he will with you. It isn't because he loves you or respects you less, but because dynamics in a marriage are all about equality and superiority. Patriarchy has told us that it is okay for women to be less qualified, but they have brutally established that the converse is not true for a man. You are his equal in the sanctity of the marital bond that you have both accepted with one another and hence, all the ego clashes and disagreements that he never had with his siblings or anyone else could be something you would be subjected to. I know this doesn't help, but please do not misunderstand, my child. I was a woman with a post-marriage career during a period when it was still quite rare in an Indian middle-class household, so this isn't me being narrow-minded but merely concerned."

"I understand, Ma," Mrinalini replied, smiling reassuringly. "It won't be easy no matter how you try to prepare me for it, but I promise that God forbid if a situation like this arises, we'll handle it delicately and patiently."

"I hope you do, Bouma," Debjani sighed in response. "Ego clashes and misunderstanding have been known to be ruthless killers that can uproot the very foundation of the most immaculate relationships."

...

Later at night

The lingering smell of smoke reached Mrinalini as a gust of soft, cool breeze entered the modest bedroom. She shook her head in dismay as she held her breath, waiting for the stench to dissipate, as she smoothened the bedsheet neatly, cornering it as she tucked.

"Debarghya," she called out exasperatedly as he entered their room, closing the balcony door behind him. "I did not speak a word for the past 4 days of the festivities even though you went about gallivanting with your brother and the people around the neighbourhood, smoking more than an entire pack of cigarettes each day, but be rest assured that I won't be tolerating this streak any further. You have had enough of gambling with your life. Maybe it is high time you stopped and paid attention to your crying lungs."

"It's fine, Mrinal," he replied humourlessly. "If someone has cancer in their destiny, it can be with or without cigarettes playing catalyst." She glared at him, her eyes flashing in utter vexation. "I don't know about destiny, but it sure looks like you are inviting respiratory problems and possibly cancer over for dinner."

"I will be alright," he replied in an attempt to placate her. "I will try cutting down on the cigarettes I smoke, okay?" Mrinalini sighed. She had heard the same words innumerable times in the past few months to be deceived into believing what she wanted to believe desperately, that he would be alright. She had started having doubts, and that scared her immensely.

...

It was past midnight when the two of them decided to settle in for the night. Turning on the warm nightlamp by the bed, Mrinalini put out the bright LED light that illuminated their room. She looked on for a moment as Debarghya checked something out on his phone before keeping it aside on the bedside table along with his spectacles, sighing as he pressed his back against the headboard of the bed. Hesitating briefly, she tiptoed towards their bed, taking a seat next to him, facing him.

Mrinalini could feel his warm breath on her face as she leaned in further to bridge the gap between them. Her lips parted as the rough coarseness of his lips met hers, their breaths mingling at an agonisingly slow pace. Her fingers weaved through his hair as his hand worked on loosening the braid that she had tied before coming to bed. A passionate moan escaped her lips as she felt his hand caress her clad bosom, his fingers teasing her areolae while his other hand caressed her waist underneath the thin nightshirt she donned. Her head was thrown back, exposing her neck as he traced a path down from her jaw to the delta of her cleavage, nipping slightly with his teeth, emanating soft sounds from her that enunciated her pleasure.

The dark curls that cascaded down her back, framing her face, caressed Debarghya's neck as she angled her mouth slightly, pressing kisses down his chest after having helped him discard the T-shirt that he had been wearing.

"Don't you have classes at the University tomorrow?" Debarghya asked her as she unbuttoned his shorts, moving against him slightly, brushing against his member through their clothes.

"No, I don't," Mrinalini replied, biting her lip coyly. "I don't have to be there till after Lakshmi Puja, so maybe, we could have the night to ourselves."

Her eyes glinted suggestively as she leaned in close again touching his lips with hers, tracing his chest with her index finger, moving her hips in sync with his body. She could feel his hesitation and reluctance as he gave in to the deep kiss, his hands caressing her bare back sensually. Debarghya's response wasn't voluntary or desired, but rather a fulfilment of marital obligation and Mrinalini could sense the same seeping in through his half-hearted, distracted actions. She pulled back, releasing herself from his hold and moving aside, laying on her side of the bed, her back to him. She could hear him exhale audibly, murmuring something incoherent in frustration.

She couldn't remember the last time that they had been intimate mutually consensually, acting out of desire rather than obligation. The situation due to Debarghya's employment status had taken a huge toll on both of them, but this was more than what Mrinalini could stomach. She had tried being patient, making peace with the half-hearted sexual gratification that he had sought her out for a handful of times in the past couple of months, but it had been more than thrice now that he had rejected her advances.

"Why?" she asked him quietly when she felt his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to cajole her. "Why have you been rejecting me over and over again, Debarghya?"

"Mrinal," he began, exasperated. "It isn't about me rejecting you. It is just that my mind cannot pretend that everything is alright, okay? I am unable to keep up the facade. It isn't about you and me, but just about me, and I,"

His voice trailed off as Mrinalini turned to face him, her eyes reflecting her helplessness and frustration. "It no longer is just about you, Debarghya. Why don't you try and understand that? It is starting to affect us and I am currently at a loss. I have tried being patient and I haven't demanded anything of you that might be irrational. I don't know what to do anymore and I won't know unless you can tell me. Why can't you, Arghya? Why can't you talk to me and tell me?"

To Mrinalini's utter horror, Debarghya shook his head frantically, hiding his face in his palms as his body shook from heart-wrenching sobs that escaped him, finally acting as the vent for all the pent-up hopelessness and exasperation that had been troubling him for the past several weeks, testing and breaking his resolve, bit by bit.

"I... can't... take it anymore, Mrinal," he choked out. "You can't understand what I am feeling because... you can't."

Pulling him into her embrace, Mrinalini could feel the saline tears reflecting her husband's agony make their way from his eyes to her neck towards the crevice between her breasts. She held him silently, letting him unleash the load that had been asphyxiating all along. "I have been... independent... earning... for the past decade. I have... been responsible for our home and family... and now... each day that I live, it scares me to think that each penny we spend today... is taking me near a day when we won't have... Mrinal, I am petrified of what the future beholds."

"Shhh," Mrinalini shushed him soothingly, kissing his forehead. "This isn't permanent, Debarghya. We will be okay. Please trust me."

"You don't understand, Mrinal," he continued. "I have to force each morsel that I swallow down my throat because it scares me that it could be the last full meal that our family's sitting down to. It scares me that I'll not have enough to afford your education and my brother's. What if there's an emergency and something happens to Ma? What if we reach that phase when I can't afford to repay the loans? Buy medicines for my mother? Because Mrinal, no matter how optimistic you pretend to be, you know as well as I do what awaits us unless there is a positive development and two months of being unemployed and innumerable job interviews later, I am exhausted and terrified. And unfortunately, nothing can change that."

"Every time I take out a note from my wallet, I am appalled at the fact that at the moment, there is nothing to replenish the depleting resources that we have been using up rapidly. I am so ashamed, embarrassed, helpless, and unable to feel any optimism. During these five days of the festival, I've tried to collect myself and keep from being crushed by these demons that are eating away at my conscience and self-confidence. I have been earning for so long that right now, the very thought that I have already spent two months without earning a dime is making me anxious. I am worried, Mrinal. At this point, I don't feel like myself. I feel as broken as broke as we are right now."

Mrinalini felt Debarghya's hold on her tighten as she held him in her embrace, digesting the unadulterated downpour of his vulnerabilities and concerns. "You are just 32 years old, Debarghya," she interjected gently. "It is alright to stumble and fall. You are trying your best. I understand that there hasn't been a single positive outcome yet, but the failure you've encountered till now cannot speak for the outcomes in the future. There are so many more organisations that you've applied to and are yet to hear from and there are many more with vacancies that you are yet to apply to. There has to be something favourable coming up, alright? This situation that you are in right now, the one we are faced with, won't last forever."

"It is just terrifying, Mrinal, to be rendered jobless and unemployed as an ordinary graduate in this day and age of cutthroat competition," he replied wryly. "I am just relieved that I am not too old like you mentioned and am still on the right side of 35. I am reassured and genuinely grateful to the Almighty that we are facing this situation while we are still childless. Imagine trying to raise your child in this world where your present and future are both unstable and uncertain!"

"Debarghya," Mrinalini tried once again, mustering all the tenderness and affection that she felt for her husband as she addressed him. "I know that this could have been a different situation and that there are multiple permutations and combinations that we can analyse if we consider the scenarios that could have been. Maybe you need to be less harsh on yourself. I get that you've never seen a month in the past decade or so that your paycheck didn't arrive in time, but right now, you've got to accept the situation that we have. I know this is difficult and is tearing you apart, but you can endure it. We can. Our resources and reserves are depleting, and they won't be lasting forever, but we'll manage to pull through. This won't last forever, Arghya. This won't."

She felt a single tear, a lasting reminder of his internal anguish and torment, make its way down his cheek, as she leaned in to cradle his head at the hollow of her neck, his lips caressing her clavicle chastely, seeking her warmth and closeness. She sighed in exhaustion, stroking his hair softly with her fingers, lulling him to sleep, helping him forgo the worries eating him away, gradually destroying him and their relationship. It had taken a lot of cajoling to get him to calm down and believe that there would be a better day ahead. They just had to take the challenges thrown their way one day at a time.

And Mrinalini hoped fervently, willing her prayers to penetrate the very soul of the Almighty, that they would make it through and that there would be one ray of light bringing them hope in the dark tunnel.

The next morning, she woke up before anyone in the household and handed over the partial wage for the month to the maidservant who came by to sweep and mop their home twice a day, holding a whispered conversation with her and informing her of an interim dismissal till further notice.

...

30th November

"Debarghya, there were a few alerts that I received by mail from your LinkedIn. There might be a few vacancies according to the notifications. Please take a look," Mrinalini informed mechanically as she mopped their bedroom floor. "I might have written a note for the two companies that seemed more promising."

"I've told you countless times since last month when you decided to send the cleaning maid on vacation without asking anyone if it was unnecessary," he responded. "It is bad enough that you are riddled with more housework now. The least you could do is at least skip doing it twice. Cleaning the house once a day doesn't exactly render it unclean."

Mrinalini grimaced, "It does in my books, so how about you leave me to my resources by lifting your feet off the ground so that I can clean and t off with the job applications instead?"

He sighed, his fingers on his laptop's trackpad stopping briefly as his eyes scrounged the details displayed on the screen. "Do you realise that one of the organisations that you are asking me to apply to is an MNC with incredible business in the pharmaceutical sector globally? I don't think I stand a chance here, Mrinal," Debarghya remarked, shaking his head.

"What's wrong with applying?" Mrinalini shrugged. "I had sent off my application to Jadavpur University, Presidency, and even Delhi University. I knew I wouldn't be going to Delhi and that Jadavpur and Presidency were both out of my league, but then I did get into JU, didn't I? Why don't you just give it a shot without anticipating the outcome?"

"I guess I'll do this to appease you," he replied, smiling wryly.

Mrinalini smiled in return, telling him softly, "Could you just promise me something if possible?" He shrugged unsure, "I cannot promise you unless I know that I am capable of living up to it."

"Could we please go on a vacation to some hill station once everything is sorted out?" she asked, looking up at him expectantly. "I think we'll both need it," she added in a small whisper.

"If God so wills, Mrinal," he replied, smiling slightly. "Once everything is sorted out. I promise."

...

1st January

A new year brought forth numerous changes to the Acharya household. With the exhaustion of their savings, Mrinalini and Debarghya had just begun a perilous phase of their journey of debts and potential bankruptcy by seeking a personal loan to pay off their expenses. Mrinalini and Debrishi's college fees had a certain last date before which they had to be cleared which put Debarghya in a troubled position. As the sun appeared to be setting for an infinite night ahead, a tiny beam of light arose from the horizon, breathing hope into the hopeless darkness, in the form of a short email in Debarghya's inbox, an offer letter for a fresh new stint at a multinational corporation.

Mrinalini could still reminisce the moment when she had entered their bedroom and Debarghya's face had been staring up at her reflecting an amalgamation of surprise, immense relief, and disbelief. He had his laptop resting on his lap as he sat on the bed, his back against the headboard. Having rushed over to him, she had proceeded to read the open email on the laptop screen, willing herself to believe the moment, her lips curling upward with each word that she read, giving way to a subtle smile.

"I got the job, Mrinal," he had whispered. "It is in a multinational corporation. They have offered a higher CTC. Is this real?"

Mrinalini giggled as she threw her arms around his neck in a joyful embrace. "This is real, Debarghya. You deserved this job, and you got it. I am so proud of you, dear husband," she had told him in reply, her eyes shining with glassy tears of happiness and disbelief that she had struggled to hold back.

"I have to revert to this mail by Monday once I've reviewed the terms and conditions of the employment contract before I can sign the Memorandum of Understanding. The joining date is 1st January," he continued. "This is such a substantial increment from my last job's paycheck, Mrinal. We'll have more money to spare now."

"Praise God," Mrinalini whispered gratefully, closing her eyes and touching her joined hands to her forehead.

...

30th May

"He is so tiny," Mrinalini marvelled as she held Anumegha's newborn son in her hand, staring at his little pink face in awe. He had been born in the early hours of the morning.  Her sister-in-law was still in recovery, looking up groggily as she watched her son fidget and stretch in his aunt's arms.

"I swear he's smaller than the dolls I used to play with as a kid," Anumegha nodded in agreement. "Although he sure seemed a lot heavier and bigger on my pelvis during labour."

"Shameless girl!" Debjani shook her head in disapproval. "Don't say all that aloud."

"Come on, Ma!" her daughter replied, rolling her eyes. "It's not like you don't know how babies are born. You gave birth to three such specimens."

Mrinalini stifled a giggle as she heard her sister-in-law speak. Giving birth seemed to have helped her lose some of her inhibitions. She could still remember the harried phone call that had been made to her phone the previous night informing her that Anumegha had gone into labour and that she was being taken to the hospital. With Debarghya out of town on an official tour and Debrishi at his internship in Bengaluru, Mrinalini had to nudge her mother-in-law awake in the middle of the night to give her the news. She had then proceeded to book a cab for herself as there was limited transportation available that late and had brought herself to the hospital, promising her mother-in-law that she would call once the baby was born and would return in the morning to bring her to the hospital during visiting hours.

"Can I take a picture, Brishti di?" she asked hesitantly. "Your brothers wanted to see the baby. Rishi won't be back home until next month, so he was hoping we could send him a picture."

"Of course, Boudi," Anumegha replied, smiling at her baby fondly. "I am starting to feel drowsy again," she declared, stifling a yawn. 

"It is normal for the morphine to make you feel this way," her sister-in-law replied reassuringly. "Ma and I won't be here for long. You can rest. I'll inform Srijit da and the nurse on our way out."

...

"When are the two of you supposed to go on that trip of yours?" Debjani asked Mrinalini as they were in the cab on their way home. "To Gangtok?"

"We'll be leaving on the 10th of June, Ma," she replied. "Are you sure you don't want to come along?"

Debjani sighed. "No, my child, I'd rather not. With my handicap, I'll be more of a liability in the hills than you can imagine. Moreover, the two of you haven't been on a trip anywhere since your wedding, so I'd rather not be the third wheel."

"You won't be the third wheel, Ma," Mrinalini told her mother-in-law softly. "And what's there to be a liability? You haven't been anywhere in ages. Your son was telling me about the last trip that you took with your children around five years ago. Come along with us. You'll enjoy it."

Debjani shook her head with a slight smile gracing her features, "My grandson just came into the world. I have tons of stuff to do. I'd rather not tire myself out trying to trek with a cane in my hand.  And the two of you need this break. Don't worry about me. I'll be going to live with my sisters-in-law for the duration of your trip."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, my child, I am sure. I do need ears to listen to me rant about how irritating my daughter-in-law is, do I not?" Debjani retorted sarcastically. Mrinalini giggled, shaking her head. The odds in her life and Debarghya's appeared to be easier for these moments.

Life wasn't smooth nor were all the days filled with happiness, but she did look forward to living, one day at a time.

...

13th June

"Hi there, sweet Archishman," Mrinalini cooed at the baby over a video call. "Debarghya, look he's smiling. Your nephew's smiling."

Debarghya and Mrinalini were in Peling on the third day of their vacation. The scenic beauty around was captivating and the peace was welcome after months of mayhem and chaos in the city. The two of them had just exited a monastery and were relishing coffee while enjoying the view when the phone rang. It was a video call from Anumegha, Debjani, and the baby who was staring at the screen with big, bewildered eyes. 

"The weather is so good here," Mrinalini continued as Debarghya waved awkwardly at his sister and mother on the screen. "I am so relieved to find some semblance of pleasant weather here after the past three months of scorching heat."

"That is good to know," Debjani replied. "We received some relief last night cause of rain, but the weather is pretty hot and humid since morning today. Your video is pretty blurry by the way."

"It must be the network, Ma," Debarghya answered. "The signal strength is very unstable."

"It's fine. We'll talk later. The two of you please be safe," Anumegha replied before the call disconnected.

A few moments of silence followed as Mrinalini observed her surroundings, marvelling at the scenery. Despite the overcast skies that obstructed a clear view of the Kangchendzonga range, the horizons that stretched in front of them were beautiful. Houses line up the hilly slopes, specks of greenery and rock. The calm echo of mild drizzle hitting the ground and the soothing earthy scent of rain, petrichor, wafting through the ambience brought peace and calm to the chaotic world that the two of them had endured for months together.

"It is so peaceful, Debarghya," she mused later as she leaned over the balcony in their hotel room, inhaling deeply. "Thank you for this trip. I had been dying to get away."

"You weren't the only one, Mrinal," he replied with a slight smile. "Somewhere in our hearts, we love the city we live in, but the chaos and pace can sometimes be too overbearing. I had been pining for this escape for years."

"I am glad we could make it here," she sighed, leaning back to rest her head on his chest as he punctuated her statement by embracing her waist gently. 

And at that moment, the serene winds of the hills rejoiced at their happiness and peace. Obliviating the innumerable challenges and insecurities that riddled their minds each day, trading their joy often for discord and incessant business that never ceased to exhaust, the hills witnessed the two of them enraptured in a bubble of bliss, captivated by the serenity of nature. 

Their breaths intermingled as the sun set into the twilight sky. Their hearts beat at a calm, anticipatory rate as the beauty around them mirrored the unexpressed love that they shared, toughened and enhanced over time by atrocities and adversities. There would probably be many more that would come their way over time, but the moments they shared now were all that mattered. Forthcoming unpredictable circumstances would compel them to navigate turbulent waters, letting them live their marital voyage one day at a time, but for now, they had memories that they could hold on to and cherish.

...

To be continued...

PUBLISHED ON: 30th June 2023

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hi everyone! I am finally back with an update. I know it's been ages, but the new year for me started with numerous hurdles that haven't made it easy. Since January, I have fallen sick thrice and was even hospitalised once out of those three times and then with academic commitments, extra-curricular, co-curricular, and numerous other responsibilities and commitments, unfortunately, my hobby and this beautiful journey of Mrinalini had to take a break. 

I am currently suffering from a problem in my muscles that has been causing immense pain to my right hand and has been affecting my writing and typing. The pain has been worse enough to compel me to rely on painkillers to simply appear for my examinations. I am undergoing treatment for the same and am trying to improve, but it isn't going to be a miraculous overnight recovery and is going to hinder me from doing several things in my day-to-day life, including writing. 

I would also like to share with you all that I have successfully reached my final year of graduation. The final year is a tricky one with a lot of academic commitments from my end, so I hope that you'll give me your best wishes and continue to bear with me for not being prompt or regular enough when it comes to updates. 

This story is extremely close to my heart and there is an entire story with an ending that I wish to convey to the world, so I promise that this story will be completed someday. 

I wish you all good health and happiness. Here's hoping that the world we live in thrives in peace and not in war. Godspeed :)

With love and best wishes,

Elegiac_Damsel

P.S. Please do VOTE, COMMENT, and SHARE this story if Mrinalini's journey has been able to resonate with your heart.

P.P.S. The world is too selfish for us to always care about those around us. It is okay to sometimes give yourselves time and love. Take care :)