Staring into the mirror gave away to a world beyond anyone's imagination. Even if the eyes staring back were lifeless on the outside. (y/n) look at her reflection as her eyes hungered the beauty of her wings. They were repaired and more... angelic than before. One pitch black as the night sky, one pure and full of the light of Heaven. For the past month since the fight, her feelings have been drained, along with her energy. Sebastian looked over her health and repeatedly since told her she's healthy to the bone. Deep down, (y/n) knew that wasn't the cause of her deterioration of health.

"Is this... what depression feels like?" 

A knock came at the door, which caused (y/n) to hurriedly tuck her wings away. May-Rin entered, she smiled and put down the fresh set of clothes on her dresser. "Good Morin', how are you feeling today?"

(y/n) put on a smile and flashed it at her, "Better than ever! I think I can walk steadier now!" 

(y/n) pushed the blankets off and settled her feet on the ice numbing floor. Her balance was getting better as she was as able to walk clearer than before. May-Rin clapped as (y/n) sat back down, trying to fight the sweat gathering at the base of her lower back.

"Amazing! It's impressive how well you've recovered from the carriage accident." 

After the night Ceil and Sebastian came back with her after the fight, they told Finny, Bart, and May-Rin, that (y/n) had gotten into an accident. It was believable enough with all the blood covering her body from head to toe. They all had a panic attack and thought she wouldn't live, but overnight (y/n) slept like a baby and recovered. 

"Pardon me," Sebastian said, his face looked strained these days, but devilishly perfect nevertheless. "Miss (y/l) is needed upstairs in the office."

May-Rin bowed and quickly exited out. (y/n) looked at him, but not in the eyes. It was always at his face but never contact with his eyes. Sebastian sighed at her, knowing what she was doing. "Why are you doing this? It's been happening ever since that fight with Malach."

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" (y/n) giggled and walked past him, her legs becoming absolute stone. "Let's go already!"

Sebastian chose to not say anything and walked behind her. (y/n) did well until reaching the stairs, where Sebastian slowly helped her up. Truthfully he was concerned for her since that morning she woke up, her eyes glossy and lifeless without the usual shine in them. Depression was a mental health Sebastian knew he had in his previous life as a human, so he fully understood what it did. It is the cause of depression he does not know that is haunting (y/n). 

They finally reached the office as Ceil was reading over the newspaper, on the front read in bold cursive letters: Noah's Ark Circus. 

"About time," Ceil slammed the paper down, "I was about to leave without you two with me."

"Leave?" (y/n) questioned.

"The Queen ordered me to investigate the circus coming to town. She believes they are the link to the missing children happening in London. I don't give a damn about them, but since I'm the Queen's watchdog, I must investigate right away before they leave."

"So... why I am here?" (y/n) questioned, slightly confused at the situation.

"Sebastian and I discussed your health is well enough to investigate with us. We'll just be having you scouting out around the circus while Sebastian gathers information. You have ten minutes to pack before we leave, hurry up before my tea is cold."

(y/n) bowed, "Yes, my Lord." She turned and exited out with Sebastian right behind her.

"My, my, this act your are keeping up is surprisingly entertaining. The circus would love to know the secrets behind your acting."

 Deep inside (y/n) felt anger, but not enough to burst out at Sebastian as she could before. "Hahaha... your jokes are more annoying than before, did you know that?"

In the blink of an eye, Sebastian pushed her against the wall, both of his hands pressed against the wall to trap her. His pupils dilated into a crescent ruby blood, then turning into cat slits. (y/n) wasn't the least bit scared with his act to pressure her into letting go of her facade.

His voice turned cold and bitter, the coldest parts of Hell could never compare to how venomous at the words he spoke could bite at one's soul. "Quit this act, depression is nothing but the imagination of sadness to the brain. Your wings have been repaired and your ability to fly again is useable, the Lord has been kind enough to spare your life after the battle. After all the blessings you have been given by the Phantomhive name you continue to act like a doll. The selfishness of acting this way disgusts me to the very bone." 

(y/n) tried moving out of his way, but Sebastian wouldn't budge and closed the space between them closer than ever, (y/n)'s chest touching Sebastian's chest, but not in the way they both imagined. 

"Tell me the truth," Sebastian spoke again, "why are you depressed? You can fool the others into thinking your mood is simply happy and humble, but those lifeless eyes tell me another story. Ever since you've woken up, it's all I've seen, a fake mask to hide the truth to the others."

(y/n) finally opened her mouth, in the same monotone voice one with depression would respond too. "Mind your own business."

The air grew colder between them, and finally, after a minute, Sebastian released her and turned his tail coat towards the office door. (y/n) watched him leave as deep down, she wanted to sob all over the carpet, but the tears wouldn't appear. (y/n) slowly walked back towards her quarters and packed, her legs aching all over. 

All she wanted to do was cry, cry until her heart broke into two, cry until Heaven and Hell knew what true sadness was. She packed in silence and dressed into her maid's outfit, putting her coat on and entered into the carriage. They left as Sebastian and Ceil carried most of the conversation as (y/n) looked outside the window, deep and lost in thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"LET ME GO!" Ducan screamed at (y/n), tearing staining his cheek as sobs came from (y/n) as well. 

"I-I don't want too! Ducan, please! PLEASE! Take me back!" (y/n) continued to scream back into his face.

Ducan gasped for air as he fell to the ground, his body shivering in aftershocks. 'I'm sorry... I'm sorry... you... you can't return back to Heaven.... the demon inside you... is apart of you... as long as it lives, you cannot return...."

(y/n) yelled as the scene shifted. Malach smiled at her, his eyes shining golden green in the moon's reflection. They were atop the manor's roof, the wind blowing as it ruffled his hair into curls. 

"Thank you," Malach said, his smile growing wider and wider. "You saved me from madness. Believe it or not, I was being controlled by someone I love dearly to me, but I won't say who it is why, for a dead man can't say anything to the living."

 (y/n) broke out laughing, her ribs starting to ache as she looked at him. "I thought I killed you... why are you here... why, why, why, why, why, WHY, WHY, WHY!"

Malach gave her a sad smile as he walked slowly over to her. "(y/n), I know you won't like to hear this, but Sebastian is your new soul mate. Meaning... you're stuck to remain on the Earth forever. So, please, let go of Ducan's soul."

"DAMN YOU AND HIM!" (y/n) yelled at the top of her lungs, hating herself and everyone else around her. "YOU ALL CAN DIE! I WANTED HEAVEN AGAIN MORE THAN ANYTHING! DUCAN AND I WERE SUPPOSED TO MARRY!"

"Listen to yourself," Malach said, his smile disappearing. "Are you becoming a human or a demon?"

The words struck her in the heart, her fears becoming reality. She lost her balance and fell off the roof. The night sky seemed so beautiful, her wings trying to close around her, but her single white wing turning into the murky darkness. 

A demon

A human

An Angel

No one would be able to love a mix of everything together.

For, it was impossible.

(y/n) closed her eyes and let the darkness take her, feeling an arm reach out and stop her from falling. It was a mass of ravens around the pitch black hand, screaming and squawking at each other for them to reach upon her deaf ears. 

(y/n) opened her eyes, the light once from them disappeared into an endless hole of misery. 

"I will never love you, Sebastian, because you took away the one thing precious to me." 

The hand let go as she fell deeper and deeper into Hell, knowing she was damned her whole life. For if one is a demon, shouldn't their life be a living Hell? (y/n) watched as a single tear dropped on her cheek, knowing it was going to be raining inside her world for a long, long time.