Her fingers felt the fine threads of her blue shawl which she had just wrapped around herself because the October was gifting the residents of Gwalior a subtle winter. The air around her held the faint smell of crisp cold breeze when her feet stomped on the ceramic tiles as Safiya made her way towards the study, a new hideout of her husband nowadays as Muaz had again given him the work load of account work.

Slowly turning the door knob as to make as little sound as possible, Safiya glanced inside to see Daiyan Mustafa sleeping with his head resting on the desk amidst bundle of files. How many times she told him to complete the work in their bedroom but he always had to be stubborn?

Tiptoeing inside the study room, she neared her husband, his eyes seemed veiled with his silky fringes as the yellow light of the night lamp made his face look more sharp and handsome in her sight. Holding her shawl with one hand, Safiya leaned down close to Daiyan, her fingers removing the fringes away from his eyes.

"Wake up, sleepy head."

She said with a smile as her lips placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

A groan sounded from Daiyan as he cleared his throat, eyes squinting a little as he looked at her in question and then at the table clock which was showing half past two.

"You're not slept yet, little girl."

"No. I'm sleeping. See."

Safiya rolled her eyes at him as Daiyan got up giving a low chuckle. "It's so late to kill my brain cells with your witty replies."

"It's too late to kill your brain cells with account sheets."

Daiyan pursed his lips, a ghost of smile was bad at hiding itself on the corner of his lips as he pinched her nose, wrapping his arm around her.

"I told you so many times that you can work in our room."

"I know." Daiyan closed the study room door and ushered her to their bedroom, "I just want you to have proper rest in this condition."

"So this is my proper rest. You know I can't sleep in an empty room."

"Fine."

Daiyan moved his hand up in surrender giving a small smile to her as she made her way to the bed because now she was really feeling sleepy once her husband had came back.

The bed dipped on her side as Safiya turned her head to see Daiyan who was now pouring water in the glass, taking glance at the curtains moving gently with the shy winter breeze. Her eyes were about to close with the heaviness of sleep when the warmth of his hand on her stomach brought her back from the valleys of slumber.

"Let me sleep na, Daiyan."

"I didn't stop you." Daiyan's voice was husky with a hint of amusement as his hand was softly moving on her cardigan clad protruding belly, he knew how she loved it as the phase of pregnancy made her crave for weird things. But right now, she wanted a good night sleep, that was it.

Her doctor had given her two weeks for the due date and Safiya could feel her insides twisting with excitement and nervousness anytime she would be thinking of the new addition in their lives. Daiyan had became much more careful than before just like giving her enough space to have proper sleep, a walk around their house garden in the morning and a leave from Salt and Sugar for her proper rest.

Safiya held his hand opening her eyes to glare at him and she knew she would be looking funny as the amusement on Daiyan's face quickly turned into a bright smile, his beautiful smile which she hated the most at the time of her anger.

"You're doing it on purpose, na?"

"I'm too scared of you to do that."

Safiya huffed and as she twisted her lips, Daiyan placed his lips on hers forcing out a giggle from her. She moved her fingers in his hair to pull him closer, a gasp leaving her lips as she felt a kick in her stomach. Their child really enjoyed their kiss!

"It kicked."

Daiyan's eyes held a shine as he told her with a smile his hand slowly grazing her cardigan.

"I told you."

Her giggle slowly turned into a slight whisper as she held her stomach, closing her eyes to get acquainted with the huge amount of pain. Safiya moved her hand in order to hold Daiyan's, just to be assured that he was there.

"Hey...hey...little girl. What's happening?"

"I don't know. It's painful."

Her voice left her as a whimper escaped the barriers of her lips instead. Her eyes were closing and she could only feel Daiyan's hands shaking in tremor as he held her and then picked her up for didn't know where?

******

The winter air of October was holding the sounds of his heartbeat, the footsteps falling on those ceramic tiles, Safiya's low whimpers of pain and the sirens going around his head.

He had no idea how he reached the hospital, how rash he drived his car, Daiyan was just focusing on Safiya who was doing her best to tolerate her pain which was becoming unbearable for her, the tears in her eyes were the proof.

"It's going to be alright."

Daiyan squeezed her hand, following the stretcher to the operation theatre. He had phoned his mother and she would be here in any minute. He didn't want to admit but he was scared, just like the time when his father used to yell at his mother. He didn't want to think about that man now but it felt like as he was moving closer to that phase of fatherhood, he was remembering his father more and more.

So to keep his mind away from every negative thought, he needed his mother with him.

"I know."

Safiya's whisper reached his ears as Daiyan bent down a little to place a kiss on her forehead when the nurse gestured him to stay out of the theatre, closing the door at his face.

Daiyan bit his lower lip, not having any idea what he should be doing right now. There were some verses which Safiya had taught him over the years, they were slowly coming to the brink of his lips as his heart made its presence known with its loud thumping.

A touch on his shoulder forced him to look back at his mother, her eyes red showing her sleep deprivation, he had surely disturbed her but here she was. 

"Come sit, Daiyan. She'll be fine."

Daiyan nodded wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "I disturbed you."

"Not at all. Didn't know what it was, but I was unable to sleep tonight."

He smiled getting the hint of her lie as he sat down on one of the waiting chairs with her. Daiyan bent down, keeping his elbows on his knees as he covered his face to kill whatever was going around him and inside him.

There were some tears which wet his palms as he squeezed his eyes shut. He was never this scared, not even when he was lying on that surgery table. His ears were still ringing with Safiya's whimpers, her teary face. Daiyan was praying just for everything to be fine just like he wanted, just like his little girl wanted.

He looked at the closed operation theatre door once again and got up, patting Mum's head for once he headed towards the washroom for his ablution. Daiyan knew he would just lose all his hair in worry if he would be sitting on that waiting chair so it was good for him to keep himself busy talking to the one who was holding their destinies, past, present and future.

Didn't know how much he got close to the Almighty in these years but he felt a sort of connection, a deep one which a person feels with a best friend. He liked to talk to him. It was difficult for him in his busy schedule but as Daiyan got time he prayed. He made this his habit as Safiya taught him to pray once again. He never knew, Allah was waiting for him to step closer to him because he felt as he moved closer, Allah welcomed him lovingly as if he never moved away from him.

"Allah, you know how much scared I am. You know what my heart wants. You know how much I'm scared for Safiya. But I believe your mercy, I have faith in your every plan. Please help me, help my little girl. Give me patience."

His lips spoke the secrets of his heart as he sat down in front of his Lord after finishing his prayer. Some taps sounded around as he ended his prayer and heard Mum's voice behind him, his whole being shaking like the last autumn leaf.

******

The pain inside her mixed with air particles around when her eyes closed as the whole energy drained out of her. She remembered of low murmurs, doctors talk about her and the baby followed by a baby's loud cry. It was her baby! After that she went into a dreamless slumber.

Or

It wasn't a dreamless one!

She closed her eyes, allowing her tears to fall down from the corners. Safiya was not liking it a little bit, that awful emptiness inside her. Five months were way too much to spend with someone and this was her child, a child who was no more with her.

The door opened revealing a disheveled looking Daiyan who silently closed the door behind him, his eyes looking everything but her. Past few hours had gone into blur, that weird pain followed by heavy bleeding, Safiya knew something was wrong with her and she had made Daiyan worried on the edge.

First time in their relationship, she saw him so nervous. He was trying to show himself strong but his sweaty hands, his quivering lips were giving away his act.

"Hey, little girl."

The hospital bed creaked a little as Daiyan took his seat beside hers. Safiya tried giving him a smile but she failed. She was tired pretending that she was fine. A whimper escaped her lips as she bunched his shirt in her hands, resting her head on his chest.

She didn't stop her tears, cries from escaping her. Daiyan slowly caressed the back of her head, mumbling something undecipherable. Motherhood always comes with dreams, a dream weaved for the unseen life and when this fragile glass of unseen breaks, it clearly wounds the heart.

Her eyes tried to open seeing a blur in front of her as the door opened with a thud. She didn't know what had happened but Safiya only remembered of closing her eyes with a huge amount of pain.

Her hand felt the warmth of a hand mixing with her cold ones as Safiya tried to wet her chapped lips. "How are you, little girl?"

"Fine." Her voice cracked at the edge as Safiya tried to wait patiently for Daiyan to speak further. Was that reality in her dream signifying another reality? Why wasn't he just coming to the point? Her nervousness was pushing her off the edge. "What happened?"

Daiyan kissed her knuckles, his thumb grazing the faint vein near her ring finger. "It's a girl." A whiff of air escaped her lips as she closed her eyes in gratefulness.

"You should tell me this first. I was so nervous." Safiya held his hand tightly as she began to sit up on the bed hearing about the best news of her life, mumbling whatever that was coming from her tongue while Daiyan just placed a kiss on her head.

"I was nervous too, I can't lose you, little girl. After coming here, I forgot everything seeing your drained out face." Safiya cupped his face in her hand, peeking in his wet eyes, "Thanks for gifting me this."

Safiya just smiled looking at him, feeling guilty of scolding him without thinking about what he was going through. The door opened to reveal Dado and Mehnaz aunt with her little bundle of joy in her grandmother's arms. She couldn't wait to hold her! 

"Here is Mr and Mrs Daiyan's little angel." Mehnaz aunt said while carefully giving her grand-daughter in Safiya's arms.

Daiyan put a hand under her hand as Safiya gingerly held the baby in her arms, a girl with pinkish cheeks filled her heart with a joy of motherhood. She was now a mother of this beautiful, chubby baby! Her husband wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she sniffed to push back her overwhelming emotions.

"She's just like you."

Daiyan said, lightly pinching their daughter's nose and taking her from her arms, mumbling something to her in a childish way.

"I had no idea about this side of you."

"This is only for my princess." Dado and Mehnaz aunt giggled on their arguments as Safiya poked out her tongue at him. Her daughter would be a daddy's girl! Indeed.