Dear sir,
I can't describe in words what a relief it was to have you at my side in these difficult days..... You had no doubt never taken a step back...... Always ready to dive in at the mere sight of me being in trouble......
Sometimes i really wonder how am i really going to pay you back for everything that you have done for me......
Even now you agreed readily to marry me to fulfil my dying father's wish..... As much as i loved him.... I also know that he had lost his partial coherence and the pain medications were messing his system.... And also he was scared about me....he loved me a lot.....

And perhaps.... That is why he didn't reconsider his words as he placed an unreasonable demand of you marrying me....... I apologize to you on his behalf.....
But you being martyr of the century.... So easily gave in to his ridiculously unfair demand..... And married me in a heartbeat..... And that intrigues me... I can't understand how can a person be ready to sacrifice anything so readily for me......
But i have made a decision.... Someone somewhere has to draw a line.... I can't keep unduly exploiting you for my own selfish reasons..... Last time i did that.... And you were mocked upon in an open court..... I cannot let your innocent self suffer yet again because of  me....
All these years alone.... Have thought me to deal with my shit on my own.... And i no more intend to drag you in the mess that i have made of my life.....

I have contacted the lawyer already.... And he will be ready with the annulment papers.... In a few months....

No one should be trapped in a relationship against their free will only to fulfil a duty or a promise in my opinion.... So i hereby declare that what happened at my house.... Should never get in a way of you and your life and your loved ones.....
I could only ask you to have forbearance for a month or two.... Until the annulment papers are ready.....
And thank you again.... For every self sacrificing gesture you made on my behalf..... I appreciate it with my heart and soul.... But the burden of your favours has just become unbearable for me to live with.....
So.... Pardon me if i sound pathetically rude or if my words are hurting you in some way..... All the hurt caused isn't on purpose.....
Yours sincerely, naina

You fold the letter again and carefully keep in your pocket.... And tears start dripping unknowingly from your eyes....... Her words dipped in sarcasm and coated with honey managed to poison each and every organ in your body and you were sweating even as it was chilly outside......
It would take a lifetime for her to understand you..... And for you to justify every wrong you have caused to her... But what could you have done.... Wasn't she the one to leave without even informing you..... Wasn't she the one who ignored all the letters and phone calls you made..... True you had denied that you loved her..... True you had been unbearably cold.... But it was all done for her sake.... To keep her dignity intact..... Yet again.... Does she think it was easy on you to see her getting mocked on her character.... All because of you..... Your soul shatters as you think of the time when you heard people making comments and jokes at an expense of her character..... Her very character which was pure....
She was too young and naive to understand your reasons at that time....
But it was your duty to keep her safe.. For the sake of her career, for her family, for naveen.....
But all this time only person you didn't think about was her..... She was alone and miserable..
But you terribly ignored her.... Never once tried to talk to her to convince her.... To say that its alright... To give her strength to be strong....
You left her terribly heartbroken hoping that all the distance would make her forget you and that she would move on..... But it was pathetically wrong of you to decide it all by yourself... You had made a terrible mistake... And even now after so many years you couldn't help being a perfect asshole.... Leaving her alone in doubt and questions.... To deal with them all by herself.... No wonder she's ruined and devastated.... And it would be completely fair if she hates you.... 
But even as her words bite you hard.... You do realise that she doesn't.....
And its high time you clear the mess you have made of her life....... Its high time you set this right.... No matter how impossible it seems... But it has to be done..... And you are determined to work through....

Naina....
You hate silent journeys too... Because that is the time you are completely idle and that is when you peek inside to introspect.... You were twisting and turning on your seat... Trying hard not to feel guilty....
You wondered if you had been too rude and ungrateful....
You wonder if he is hurt or offended... But damn him... Someone had to give him a taste of his own medicine... He must realize what it feels like when someone you trust gets ice cold...
You sometimes wonder had you been wrong not giving him a chance to clear his side.... You should have at least met him once before you left... You should have at least dared to answer one of many phone calls that he made at your base....
Maybe you wanted to hurt him... Or maybe you were scared that he might yet again hurt you.... You wanted to forget all about him... You wanted to move on.... But all you did was kept pining for him.... All these years...
Maybe you were too proud to confront him.... Or too much of a coward.... To face the truth.... That perhaps the place where you wished to be in his life belonged to someone else.....
Maybe that's the very reason you didn't dare to confront him even as you had a chance when he came to inform you that he has to leave.... His eyes thirsty.... Anticipating you to break down... To inquire.... But you kept quite as he left with heavy feet...
He did look back as he bade you a good bye and you didn't eve bother to wish him a good luck for his mission ....

But its too late to think about all this.... You have decided to close that chapter from your life once and for all.... Every thing burnt and buried.... No more crying under the pillow....
But you love him.... And it hurts.... Like hell.... And you can't stop dreaming about him.....

Damn you messed up.....