Book - The Golden City

Author - EveRogerthegreat

Reviewer - 

Book Cover 9/10-

A very lovely cover that doesn't use a lot of manipulation but is pleasing to the eye. I love the colours used, which make it look very beautiful. The subtitle isn't very clear though.

Title - 8/10

The title is pretty simple and it is easy to understand how it might be related to the book, just by reading the blurb. While it does give a hint at the genre, fantasy, it is a bit too generic. Such titles are very common in fantasy books and don't really speak to me due to them being so common. You need not change it, though it can get better. Instead of keeping the title something that is directly related to the story, you can also keep it as something that symbolizes the character's goal or something like that.

Blurb - 9/10

You have provided all the information we need to know before starting the story, and that is very good though I do feel like the blurb is a bit on the longer side. Maybe if you rephrase some of the sentences, it might get better.

Also, the last sentence - 'While the Illanoits must not let their trusts shake, for they must not embrace the new ways of the new king' - doesn't have the note of finality in it. That makes the blurb's ending seem incomplete.

Opening - 5/10

Your opening doesn't really, sorry for being a bit rude, live up to the expectation. There aren't many details, which might have helped the readers get a glimpse of the protagonist's personality. Also, when writing the opening, you should start with something that hooks the readers, like the problem the MC is facing at the moment or something, anything, that triggers the story into action. In your case, it was the MC stacking papers neatly into the drawer and wishing she could chill while watching Netflix. Not exactly the most hooking first paragraph.

Structure - 15/20

In the chapters, you keep switching from Grace's PoV to Kang's PoV and then to other characters like Autumn, which wasn't very well executed. When switching characters, you should change paragraphs and make sure the readers understand the change too, because it can be hard sometimes to look at the story the reader's way. Being the author, you already know the plot line and the characters, so you have to make sure you write it in a way that makes the person reading understand too. So when reading the story there were many instances where the scenes got a bit fast-paced, or the narration wasn't very descriptive and a bit confusing.

Also, when I started reading, it looked like Grace would be the MC, but you don't really stick to that. There is a lot of confusion in the storyline and the characters since so many are introduced in so few chapters.

Character Development - 10/15

Your characters don't really speak to me, so it was hard to get into their mindset initially. Some of their personalities seem rather forced and so did their conversations.

Does it make me want to read more?

6/10

Due to the lack of descriptions and a bit of confusion in the storyline, I am not exactly compelled to read more. These things make it hard to concentrate on the story and truly enjoy the writing.

Overall - 10/15

Your writing style is simple and has room for development. I really enjoyed reviewing your book.

Total - 72/100