Hi everyone :) I want to begin by thanking God who gave me quite a bit of strength to write this week and I want to thank all of you amazing readers who gave me so much love and support this week by reading by stories and even reaching out and messaging me with support, so thank you so much and I want to thank each and every reader :) Thank you :)

Part 2 is now available to be read after this part :)

I am so sorry for not replying to comments on previous chapters, but I got busy writing LTLHA, however I hope to reply to all of them over this weekend as you all do know I do reply to all comments and feedbacks :)

This part is short because as of now I will be updating chapters in parts instead of one long update for readers' convenience since I know many of you including me are quite busy and it is easier to read the chapters in such a manner :)

WARNING: Shivaay underwent a traumatic childhood, so please do not read his point of view if this is something that gives discomfort-I tried my best to tone the language down and use words, but let me know by commenting below or messaging me and I will cut the scene

Shivaay's point of view is a little detailed in the beginning, but it had to be because this is the first time his POV is being introduced in the story and gives background on his horrible past and childhood, so do read it if you can :)...Future detailed POV will be shortened :) I am trying :)

This story is a redux version of my other story "Learning to Love Him Again", but can be read stand alone :)

Okay, so if you know me I am not an expert in writing romantic and intimate scenes, so I tried my best in writing this part and if it sucks and fails then I am so sorry, but I tried and really tried, but I am so sorry if this part does not turn out to be okay. I know I am so sorry and I tried :(

I would say the lines that appear dramatic-the poetic ones are meant to be that way as Shivaay is a poet in this story and likes poetry, so he speaks in that manner and Anika grasps on to that because she herself reads and writes poetry :) It's a characteristic to their relationship.

Also, this chapter turns and now will focus on no strings attached relationships. This is a turn from LTLHA I know and this story challenges the conservativeness found in LTLHA and as a writer I am experimenting.

So due to no strings attached nature of this story, I do have to write intimate scenes that are longer compared to those found in LTLHA. These scenes are intertwined with dialogues as that is the relationship Shivika have at the moment. I am so sorry if you do not like the scenes because they are boring or just the tone is too much.

If you do not like the tone of Shivika's scene then let me know by commenting below or messaging me and I will cut and censor the scene.

Thank you for reading and if you liked this chapter then do vote, comment, and share.

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https://youtu.be/Pvm53bo72c8

Shivaay's Point of View

Taking in another taste of the bitter whiskey, I felt her phantom, virgin touch lingering across my lips. Her shyness, lingering in slews, laying near the pulse in my neck where she brushed her lips against...A shyness, a naivity...that is piercing thorns of mania inside of me felt in the flesh where she drained her touch...Tonight when I kissed her she consumed me. She made me want to dive in her demure and relish it to feed on succor that I desired.

The way she ran away from me with that demure and shyness in her eyes tells me the values she has been raised with...How she desires pleasure, but cannot touch it due to her values...How seemingly she found comfort in my arms tonight, but could not touch it due to barriers...I want that...I want her...She is a woman I have never met before. The way she keeps her veil weaved of sacred values she holds is alluring to me...I see that desire in her. That desire trembling on her lips escaping from her darkness, that she holds within her heart, to escape...to rebel.

Biting my lip, I looked into my glass seeing her reflection in it. "How would it feel to be intoxicated by a woman who has never even touched the depths of pleasure...has never been loved...has never even touched the boundaries of sin?" Licking on to my lower lip, I attempted to still taste her innocuous kiss, but failing as bitterness of the whiskey drifted itself in.

I shouldn't find allure in her...She is the opposite of women I have been with. She is utterly childish always babbling and doing silly acts without considering she is a young woman...A small smile coming across my lips remembering how she opened up her suitcase in the hotel lobby and without any shame began crying since she idiotically picked up the wrong suitcase at the airport. A small chuckle escaping my lips as I bit my lip realizing how seemingly her small act somehow twirled an unusual gratification inside of me to indulge in a moment of happiness...something that has become rare for me.

She is naïve...completely unaware about the world around her...Overtly sensitive as she cries over the littlest things...But then not all little things. She is molded by others' ideas...she submits to those she loves despite how they thread their clout around her. She is unaware of the cruelity that exists and weeps in others that surround her fabric that she innocently is a part of...

And I like it. I like these features that are perceived as flaws by others because that is what is pulling me towards...She has a beauty in her own way that she is completely unaware of. Those brown hues that hold an innocent world...her small red lips that tremble even by a mild touch indicating how they are deprived of love...and pleasure...

"Well...we finally met..." A deep, loud voice breaking my thoughts as I clasped my hand against the bar counter before looking up and finding a part of my blood standing tall and proud with a wide smirk touching his lips.

A surge of anger crawling on to my flesh not able to bear who was in my sight...whose presence I did not want to even be part of. "A meeting perhaps you were looking forward to Omkara," I hissed before taking the finally sip of my whiskey and waving the waiter to get me another one.

My hand clasping against the bar counter gathering strength from the alcohol that now was catching to my senses making my head slightly spin to indicate that I had deprived enough of its intoxication.

"Shivaay bhai, how are you?" A high pitched voice screetching against my ears as I looked up finding a reflection of a young girl that I had seen years ago now as a grown woman...my own sister.

Taking a deep breath, I pressed my hand against my temple not able to tolerate the fact how I had just stumbled upon a bitter past in the form of my own brother and sister that now were just mere strangers...a product of a childhood that somewhere I want to bury not once looking back at it...unusual screams, wails, and haunting voices appearing to once again ring in my ears reminding me of that darkness that submerged into my innocence completely strangling it.

"What are you both doing here?" I questioned looking at them as Priyanka rolled her eyes appearing annoyed as if she was forced to even come meet me.

"And this is why I was telling you we shouldn't approach Shivaay bhai...What did you think he would meet us with warmth?" Priyanka noted with sarcasm as she flipped her hair to the side before looking around towards the party that still was going on to welcome the guests for the wedding.

"I am going to go meet Arti since I just came...I mean it is my best friend's wedding, so of course I have to be here," Priyanka noted indirectly answering my question as she walked away with her head held high just like our mother...no their mother.

Shaking my head, I grabbed my drink taking a sip of it finding it sweet compared to the bitter taste that erupted in my mouth from remembering the past that now reflected in the form of Om and Priyanka.

"Shivaay, look...daadi urged me to come and of course it's Gauri's massi's duaghter's wedding, so we had to be here. I had no interest in coming here knowing you would be here...Just as we have decided, we should maintain our distance, correct?" He remarked as I clenched my jaw tightly remembering the reason for the distance that had wedged a gap between him and I.

A smirk touching my lips as I slammed my hand against the bar counter with the bottles suddenly shaking from fear knowing that now that little tick was beginning to crawl inside of me...not allowing me to live and continue to poison me with anger.

"Distance we shall maintain!...If that woman is here, tell her to keep away from me alright? You are my brother, so due to some respect I still have for our relationship that you did not have...I will tolerate you, but...if that woman even dares to lurk near me then I will create havoc and you know I am capable of that..." My teeth clenched tightly with words barely escaping them finding them rumble against them.

That ugly, filthy woman appearing in the reflection of the glass of whiskey remembering how she is the reason why I have molded myself into this creature that even at times I want to slay...A creature that...that now knows that relationships are illusions...that bonds are mere facades...and perhaps the only tangible reality are vices and sins of the world.

"Shivaay!...How can you talk about our mother in such a manner?! Her blood runs within you!" Om exclaimed taking a step forward as I immediately lifted my hand making him pause ensuring a boundary was maintained.

A laugh escaping from my lips upon hearing his words... Shaking my head, I took my jacket off throwing it on to the ground not able to tolerate that heated lie he had spoken. "Her blood?! What blood? Huh!...That abusive mother!...That woman who...who doesn't even deserve to be called a mother!...That woman that left our father when he was about to go bankrupt! That ugly, vindictive, and filthy woman that dared to betray our father and run away with a richer man with whom she had an affair for years!"

"Shivaay!" Om's voice roaring not able to tolerate the truth as he immediately grabbed hold of my collar.

My eyes going dark in an instant as my vision blurred with my heart beginning to pound loudly not able to tolerate the insult that had just been laid upon me. The wounds...the bruises...the screams of my mother who would lock me and physically abuse me for hours...suddenly lifting out of me as a loud scream. My hands grabbing on to his as with all my force, I threw him on to the ground finding him a reflection of our mother who deserved to be beneath my feet.

"This is where you deserve to be! How dare you?! How dare you touch me?! Huh! I am your elder brother and this is the respect I will get!" That child inside of me suddenly beginning to scream as my voice began to rumble with a rush of warmth now touching me not able to tolerate those phantomic bruises that swirled up in me.

"How dare you speak about our mother in such a manner? What brother? You are not my brother if you are speaking about our mother in such a manner! You are not my brother considering how you have completely abandoned our relationship since years not once looking back!" Om exclaimed barely lifting himself up from the ground, but still continuing to bark unaware of why I had taken this decision considering I did not want to be in his mother's presence knowing how she is the reason why I am like this.

"Shivaay bhai please stop!" Gauri urged with a plea before grabbing Om and lifting him up. My feet pausing before lifting a finger upon Om realizing how she should not be part of our fight considering she is innocent in this matter.

"Shivaay beta! What are you doing?!" Daadi exclaiming as she grabbed my arm pulling me back with all her fragile force while I attempted to take deep breaths to salvage the rage that was coming through me, but failing as all I could see was that woman...that mother...who continued to run in front of my eyes.

"This is why I didn't want to come Daadi! This is the reason...look at him.. Look at what kind of a man...not even worth being called human...you and Papa have raised... He is just like Papa...that arrogance...that filth that he speaks against our mother...it's all Papa!" Om exclaimed as my eyes widened hearing the statement from him towards our father...a man now long gone still bearing the brunt of such words from his own son.

Lunging forward, I reached out towards Om, but failing as Daadi appeared between us to ensure we wouldn't indulge in another fight that have become quite public since the past few years.

"Don't you dare talk about our father in such a tone! He was your father too until you decided to accept that bastard as your father! How could you accept that man as your father knowing he was the reason for our father's downfall? That man ended our parents' marriage...but more than that, he was the reason why our father went bankrupt! Because of him our father had a stroke... Our father clung to death because of him! You...you are selfish! You left with your mother to join a rich luxurious life with her new husband...not once fighting a plea to be with us! You...you dared to support him and that woman despite them being the reason for our father's insult and malign in society due to their deeds! Shame on you! I spit at you for what you have done!" I screamed snatching my arm out of daadi's grasp, grabbing my glass of whiskey and taking the last sip of it before throwing it on the ground letting it shatter at Om's feet who stood in silence.

Loss of words appearing to touch Om knowing I was speaking the truth considering how due to that man...I lost my father. Due to that man, I had to be the one picking up the pieces after our parents' divorce and then Papa's death...I had to be the one gathering our reputation...our family...that woman abandoned.

Lifting up my eyes, I found a large crowd of guests surrounding us with complete silence erupting finding interest in the battle we had briefly indulged in. Sighing, I shook my head realizing how once again I had let my anger get the best of me which I had promised to control, but how can I when it comes to the questioning of my father and his values knowing how much he loved me...and how much he loved all of us...? He was honest and a hardworking man who taught me what good is, but how could I embrace his values knowing the cruelty of this society that exists was the one to take my father to the grave?

"Shivaay beta...please calm down...huh?" Daadi spoke softly rubbing my arm as I bit my quivering lips realizing that I was holding on to tears knowing that if I just shed one of them...then those lurking enemies would know my weakness and use it for their own selfish reasons.

"Calm down? How can you say that by doing this to me daadi? How?...What wrong did I do to you that you decided to invite all of them to this wedding? Is...is that woman here?" I questioned looking into her eyes while she stood still not uttering a word, but answering the question that I had posed found in her silence that she always held when she was caught from hiding the truth from me.

My feet stumbling back as I ran my hand through my hair clenching on to my head tightly not able to bear that my own grandmother would do this knowing how that woman, who called herself my mother, treated me...how she abused me...how could she do this?

"Daadi...I have always seen you as my mother and for that reason...I will respect your decision, but...I will not accept it because...you know the reasons why...I am utterly disappointed in the fact that out of all the people I know, you would do this to me..."

Clasping my hands against my mouth, I immediately began to walk away pacing myself through the crowd of guests not able to bear any of their presence that looked upon me questioning my actions...questioning my past...wanting to unravel my secrets that would give them peace in knowing that a man that incites fear once himself lived in fear day and night...wrangling and begging for mercy...but not having any as that woman laid her frustration and anger upon me with her hands that would lay bruises.

My feet slipping against the floor as I barely made my way through the elevator before slamming my back against the wall not able to hold my body straight knowing that she was here. Digging my fingers into the wall, I pressed my rage against it that was continuing to now blow its horns within me reminding me that it should be embraced considering how it would protect me...protect me from everyone...even her.

I am not scared of her...of course I am not. She is nothing to me. Now I am able to counter her...fight with her...but how can she even dare to show her face to me after what she did to me? How could she show her face after being the reason of turning me into the man I am today?

Tears slipping down my cheeks as I closed my eyes shut wanting to draw a blank on the memory and somehow it did with the appearance of another figure that lingered in the back of my mind...a figure of a woman who was the first to comfort me that no other woman ever could...a woman who for the first time taught me that women too can be loving...that they too have a heart...that all women are not like those that I have seen in my life.

Anika. A small smile coming across my lips as I leaned back dwell into the innocence...the naivity she displayed tonight...Her playful eyes that held seduction...Her trembling lips that brushed their chastity on to mines' leaving it to dive beyond my flesh and seemingly enter a layer of my soul where it would die eventually, but still touch it for a moment's time...Her beauty laying in her simplicity...yet out casting her as a piece of a virgin rose...

I want her. Damn I want her. She is a noor...unique...naïve...I want to explore her layers...I want pleasure in them...In this moment, the only thing that could lift me out of these memories...that would empower me...that would allow me to forget...forget each and every person...especially that despiteful woman who is the reason of my downfall. Pleasure is the one who rips these bruises away allowing me to forget...forget how they were laid...forget the memories...Indeed, I have indulged in pleasure with many women, but what would it be like to touch a woman like Anika who is unlike them all...deprived of love herself and also a product of society's wrath?...How would it be? Anika desires pleasure...not love...The way her eyes show a broken heart tells me she has given up on love, but seeks desires...rebellious, toxic desires...And I will give that to her. I will fulfill her and she will complete me...A small smirk appearing across my lips realizing I had surrendered to desires I had shackled...that trembled for ages until finally escaping...in a hallucinative fetish.

Anika's Point of View

https://youtu.be/ROYeVtKjkmw

My heart continued to pound loudly against my chest, fluttering and diving deep exploring the thrill and exhilaration that continued to swirl across each and every tender kiss he laid on my flesh...each and every piece he admired with his gentle words...

Dragging my hands to my trembling lips, I closed my eyes dwelling into the moment he captured them with a sense of command as if only he had a right on them...How he led me into the kiss slowly allowing me to experience each and every bit of bittersweetness he holds...appearing dark and stoic on the surface, but purely seductive and sensual once the depths of him are touched...

A smile touching my lips as I pressed my back against the wall not able to bear what had happened to me...how without a thought...without thinking of barriers...I stepped over them to allow a complete stranger to touch the depths of me that no one has touched before...a stranger I have merely known for a few days, but yet one who I feel I might have known for ages...a stranger that perhaps knows more of layers that I keep buried within me to ensure no one would take a grasp of them.

Wrapping my hand around the end of my saree's pallu, I clenched it tightly still finding sheer layers of my heart now beginning to tremble awaiting to be cracked...wanting them to be lifted once again and touched not by entities of lust, but the words that had been spoken by him...words that somehow wrapped the tunes of truth around me. My eyes lifting up as I looked at the moon above me scattering through the thin shards of the glass ceiling above me letting it seep through and revel the truth on how somehow my heart was beating for a stranger...a man with whom I cannot dive and touch the grains of love or even lust that slip through the seams of oceans where others go...I cannot. We are too apart to even allow such to happen.

Footsteps appearing to enter the empty, dark library with the door loudly slamming shut. My body suddenly flinching finding it caught off guard from another's presence. Curiosity touching me as I craned my neck out from the long lines of bookshelves to find the presence that had entered, but failing not finding anyone only just mere darkness that embraced the library tightly.

"Anika...you are just being a manic again," I muttered to myself as I sighed wrapping my arms around me and making my way towards the long twisted step of stairs that led to second floor eyeing the large flat wooden swing that layered itself right in the middle of the floor.

In an attempt to calm my nerves after that moment I shared with Shivaay tonight...I had found myself encountering the library in an attempt to find peace since my room was only offering me suffocation with Shivaay continuing to repeat in my mind. But, even books couldn't help once the lights oddly went out in the library.

A smile touching me as I slid against the swing before laying upon it letting it move back and forth gently allowing to sooth my beating heart that was continuing to erratically fly after finding its thirst quenched that it had for years...years of feeling not being seen...not being admired...A shy smile touching my lips as I laid lips gently against the cold wood letting my thoughts flow by.

"And she lays...she lays waiting for him to once again come...and touch the depths of her that no one has touched...She too desires admiration. She too desires being seen as a treasure. She too desires to be that gem that others would beg to have, but only one can have her...the one she will choose..." He lifted the sheer layers of lust I carried deeply within me as I smiled knowing who it was.

My conscious reminding me that he is the very man whom I just escaped finding myself in a moment of loss...not able to comprehend or even ponder over what we had done...and how it was wrong of me to trail myself to a man like him.

My heart singing a different tune...a different note than my conscious...it continued to sing...sing as it hadn't sung for years...in wanting to be cherished by the embrace of a stranger who it perhaps had known since many lifetimes.

"She lays waiting...waiting to once again to be desired by him..." His voice now lowered as I found his shadow falling above me finding his steps getting closer and closer towards me.

A tender touch wrapping itself around my hand that continued to tremble not able to bear how it had been touched in such an innocent, yet pure manner that no man had ever touched...no being. My gaze barely lifting up as I looked towards him finding his eyes unraveling me...attempting to touch not my flesh, but the soul that laid without a life within me. A soft smile appearing across his lips as he traced his thumb up and down my hand attempting to let it know that it too shall be admired by him.

"Why did you run away?" Shivaay questioned as my gaze lowered in an instant finding demure touching me not able to find the words or thoughts to explain the conflict that lays within me at the moment.

"I...I...This is wrong...you...you...do realize that...what happened...was not right?...It wasn't..." I whispered barely letting a peep of my thought to slip through me still not comprehending my own feeling at the moment.

His hand tightening its grip around mine as he closed his eyes shut pausing on my words and ponder over them. My eyes falling on his disheaveled shirt where my hands had run through wanting him to continue to claim me...to continue to lay the daggers of his lust while appreciating my features, but my flaws as well. A surge of want...need to make him mine breaking through the values...ideologies...that shackled such obscene desires that young woman like me are not allowed to have...but still nurture.

A force making a crash through me as he snatched my wrist towards him before snarling his hand around the back of my head forcing me to look into his eyes that raged with a fire...a fire to have me...to claim me...to only be the one to put his stake on me. My heart beginning to surge in beats pounding loudly finding a sense of thrill...in being wanted in such a manner. My body lifting slowly from the swing as he guided me towards him captivating me by his eyes that now were begging to allow him to touch me.

"Then let us shatter these barriers...let us cross these values...let us forget who we are...let us touch the other side where no rules exist...where no one will shackle you and I...where we will only desire...desires we can fulfill..." The heat of his mouth touching the strands of my hair gently letting them fall on to my face.

A subtle shiver going down my spine finding his words touching each and every curve of it before delicately laying its palm on my soul...that was struggling at the borders of conflict...letting it know that it is not wrong to wish...to want...to need. It is right. His lips inching forward as I sat still waiting in patience...wanting to indulge and dip into that danger he offered...rebelliousness screaming from him as he continued to push the boundary between us.

His lips capturing mine gently molding their heat against my lips that began to tremble realizing how wrong the moment was, but still finding themselves enticed by the sudden smoke of alcohol that erupted from his mouth introducing its bitterness mixed with the toxic mysteries he himself had kept engraved within him...the taste intoxicating me and taking a command of me letting me know he was the one is power...and that was something I liked. My lips setting in stone barely able to hold once again finding themselves weaken not remembering what they were supposed to do since it had been long since they were touched until tonight. His fingers entangling themselves into the waves of my hair slowly taking each and every bit around his fingers before pressing his lips more tightly against mine begging to want more...placing a dominance that I willingly wanted to surrender to...

His lips letting go of mine instantly not fully allowing him or me to devour the taste of pure lust we both were carrying within each other at the moment. My chest beginning to move rapidly up and down as my hands immediately clasped his shirt barely taking a firm hold finding themselves flimsy with a rush of ecstasy that now was drumming me...ecstasy found in sips of alcohol I myself I had drank tonight.

"If...you don't want this then I will go Anika...If you don't want this moment...then it is fine..."His voice holding an eerie calmness to allow my nerves to wither into peace, but failing as his voice only enticed me...making me eager...hungry...to want to know what he was capable of doing to me...how he would be able to tend to an innocence that I kept wrapped upon the palms of my hand not allowing me to break away from it.

"T-this is wrong...y-you are my father's boss...I...If they find out...y-you don't know what havoc...will be created..." I whispered remembering how conservative my parents were and what would happen if they find out what I had done. Havoc would break loose considering I am indulging in a mere fling with a stranger...I am not committed to him...

But indulge in the fling Anika...Don't you want to for once be a man's center of attention?...Memories igniting of what had happened moments ago in the wine cellar where he unknowingly had touched parts of me that no one had before...inciting that warmth of pleasure that I never felt, but realized how much I craved...

"And you don't know what havoc I will create...Don't take me lightly..." Danger rumbling from his voice piercing through the wounds of my flesh and grasping on that craving immediately that now was beginning to scream wanting to see what he would do...finding its curiosity incited with excitement wanting to be fulfilled by him.

A smile touching my lips as I lowered my head placing it gently against his shoulder pressing my body against his letting him hit the back the rope of the swing with his arm immediately wrapping itself around me pulling me into him.

"What havoc can you create?" My voice barely slipping through the clouts of shyness that were now raining upon me making me lose ground wanting him to begin his chaotic sensual pleasure that he laid upon me before.

His lips catching a smile as they lingered against my ear before beginning to steadily glide down my cheek. "A lot of havoc...but I will be gentle with you...only you..."His voice reeling seduction making a tight knot form within my stomach that began to flip and flop finding my heart beginning to drop into it not able to hold on to the excitement of having that craving of pleasure fulfilled.

"W-what about my parents?...What if they find out?..." I repeated the thought again as he sighed appearing to reach the last end of his patience wanting to end our talks and only let our bodies speak their own tune.

"No one will find out...no one. This is between you and me...I...I already locked the door..." My eyes widened hearing the mischief he had indulged in already appearing to have decided to lure me into his cave tonight.

A giggle escape from my lips as my cheeks turned red hot not knowing if it was the after effects of the alcohol, I had mistakenly had drunk tonight, that now was making me giddy or his presence that screamed trouble which was endearing me.

"And why did you lock the door?" I questioned before lifting my head from his shoulder and meeting his blue hues that appeared to light up realizing he was winning this game. My teeth biting into my lower lip as I tilted my head wanting to tease him remembering how he had told me that this gesture of mines' makes him think of doing a lot of things...to me.

A smirk touching him as he began to lean closer while I kept still waiting for my answer. "Doors are locked only when cruel intentions are present..." He spoke as my smile widened finding a blush hit my cheeks with shyness falling on to them beginning to think of all the ways he would fulfill such cruel intentions.

His palm gently brushing against my back before grasping on to the edges of my hair pulling me closer. He appeared to realize I was willing to soak myself with sensual enigma that was dripping its drops livening itself within the both of us. My lips separating barely letting go of one another finding themselves dry...in thirst of being devoured once again by him who could only quench them.

"What intentions are those that you want to fulfill?" I questioned finding a breath escaping from me with my heart beginning to pound loudly now finding it dropping not able to compose itself with trepidation over what he will do next remembering our tryst in the wine cellar.

"Let me show you..." He spoke and before I could lift a word, he captured my lips into his which instantly opened taking a grasp of his immediately wrapping my arms around his back forcing him to lean in closer.

His lips introducing that same bitter alcohol only with a surge of impatience as he began to immediately increase the pace of our lips devouring them wanting to taste each and every bit of it. My lips trembling and quivering not able to bear this sudden introduction of craving of pleasure that he had wanted to instantly fulfill his hunger with. Our lips losing their grip as he immediately let go before taking a grasp of my cheeks beginning to lay soft, gentle kisses trailing the palm of his hand up and down the side of my neck rubbing it gently with his thumb flaming it with his touch.

"We...we...should s-slow down..." My breaths not supporting my voice as my stomach sucked itself in tightening itself not able to bear the mosaic of kisses he continued to lay...sucking upon my cheeks before biting gently upon them.

The pace of his lips immediately slowing hearing my words realizing that all of this was new to me and I was exotic to these fragile matters. Ayaan and I were never like this in our relationship for years. We barely kissed and that was nothing compared to what happened tonight. Ayaan was never this forward compared to him and that is what I like...there is excitement in Shivaay that was never present compared to Ayaan who now appears dull when I think of it.

"I guess he was never like this then...What a waste to deprive you of such pleasure...You deserve better..." His voice low and husky drumming up my heart that now was begging him to show what he can do that others couldn't...that the betrayer couldn't who was the only one who dared to live in this heart.

"Did he do other things?" He questioned appearing to be threatened by a thought. My heart skipping a beat hearing his question realizing what the underlying meaning of it meant. A meaning I did not want to touch, but knowing that is was something to be answered.

Of course not. Of course we never went beyond a mere kiss. Now when I think of it...what was our relationship...was it really a mere bond complied of dullness and boredom that scraped its surface not allowing even a tinge of love to break through it and incite such moments of intimacy that I am sharing with a stranger?...Is Shivaay even a stranger now considering how we both are stretching our limits?

"Um...N-no...n-never..." I whispered before closing my eyes shut feeling myself turning into a solid red tomato not bearing what a private part of my life I had just confessed.

Without thinking another thought, I immediately laid down onto my stomach upon the swing letting it move slowly back and forth. A nervous smile now weakly stringing on my lips as I clasped it against the palms of my hand looking away from him and out to the moon that now was surrendering its light upon us letting it waver through us and further strengthening our crave of feeling...feeling treasured...feeling as if we were worth a penny...at least a penny considering how the world had devalued us...well me at least.

His shadow casting an overcast above me as I felt a touch brush against the dori of my blouse before slipping against my bare spine immediately making it flinch. Waves of my hair beginning to fall upon my face as I felt his fingers one by one cleanse them off my back realizing that was where moments like these begin...seeing them in those romantic clichés in which I have tended to soak myself in after the lost of a heart...of a love...

"I cannot do...what you want..." I spoke knowing I couldn't considering this was our first encounter...a first touch of a rendezvous.

Silence touching the both of us as my words made their way through...words that would likely push him away considering who he is and what a man he is. He only plays games. He only indulges in romance during the night to fulfill that demonic sinister appetite he has...He is no strings attached and a man a woman desires for a moment, but fearfully runs away not seeing him last for the long run.

"And she laid under the moon surrendering her truth...not once wavering...not once trembling...she spoke...She spoke her purity...her innocence...her virgin ways...Indeed she is not only pure on the surface, but also in the soul...and this innocence is what this age is deprived of and only rare ones are lucky to even touch it..." His poetic lines beginning to string the threads of my heart while my soul lifted finding itself wrap around the finger of justice that once spoke its truth and not the flaws that the world has laid upon it.

The swing suddenly jolting as he leaned over and laid his bare lips against the tones of my soul finding a kiss press against my back. My eyes closing shut clenching my hands tightly not able to bear the warmth that began to spread itself from his lips that began to suck gently on to the skin.

"How can one speak with such lines?...I have never heard a man speak in such a way...a way of such poise...yet such truth...a way of easily healing the wounds with mere words...a way of making one feel...feel admired that no one else has ever made one feel..." I spoke indulging in my own amateur poetry. His teeth sucking into the edge of my dori before letting it unwind and collapse against my back.

A small shriek escaping from me as I felt his teeth sink into the spot with my feet lifting up not able to bear a layer of weakness that dropped to it finding the wounds upon my heart quiver in fear upon realization that they may just now submerge and forever not be found.

A tender touch beginning to trail down my arm inciting goosebumps along the way before revealing itself as his hand that slipped against my bangles through the gaps of my hand and entwined itself into it. My face lifting up only to meet his lips against the edge of my cheek that took hold of them and leaving a kiss upon it. "Men only speak such way when they find women deserving of it...women like you..."

A smile touching my lips as I let out a small laugh knowing he was bluffing with a reminder of who he is.

"Say these words to women who would believe them...we both know who you are...we both know where you spend your nights and with whom..." I spoke in an instant only to have my words turn back upon me making my eyes widen. A sense of uneasiness falling down as a tight knot now wrapped itself into me not being able to bear the sudden filth I had spread across my own skin deepening it into bits of my soul knowing I am that woman tonight...the woman laying next to him tonight allowing him to fulfill his obscene hunger.

Silence was the only sound between us as I felt Shivaay pull me against his back laying his head on my shoulder appearing to comfort himself. What am I doing? How can I allow such to happen?...But then why not?...Why not lay here tonight next to a man who actually is willing to acknowledge you?...To admire you...a man with mysteries...a man who is danger...a man who is a leader...a man who can have any woman, but chose me...a man who lives in luxury choosing a beggar like me...a man who runs my family around his finger...a family that treats me as their servant and not their daughter...So why not be with the leader...a protector...a savior?

The guilty thought touching me putting the sheet of conflict upon me not willing to accept the thought knowing it's something I have not been taught both in my family, that believes intimacy is nothing without marriage, and not society that tells women to be independent and follow their own way towards life without depending on men...I know this wrong...I know it is wrong to indulge in the guilty pleasure of intimacy, but I am tired...tired of being alone...tired of being as one who is not seen by others...It feels good to be with someone who cherishes you for a moment even though selfishly.

https://youtu.be/IBjS3aDIt78

I know his intentions and I am okay with that because my intentions are perhaps the same as his. "I have the same intentions as you...if that is what you are curious about..." My voice breaking the silence as I felt Shivaay hover above me finding his gaze fall upon me assuring himself what he heard was correct.

My eyes lifting up and meeting his as I turned onto my back finding him above me. His eyes appearing to hold his thoughts that expressed a sense of shock not comprehending what I had spoken considering the mask of the girl I wear in front of the world. A smile touching my lips as my hand moved up and down his chest finding them tremble not able to grasp on to the idea of what they were being forced to do by me...forced to enter into seduction despite knowing how wrong it was at the moment. It feels odd to even place myself in this situation and I never would have thought to have be in this situation...women in my home are taught to not even walk in these realms of seduction, but tonight I am here and I love it because I want to rebel...I want to break the rules...knowing and remembering how my family has treated me tonight...as an outsider despite being their own blood, I want to rebel and walk over the boundaries as if they don't care about me then why shall I? I have this desire within me...this hunger for pleasure that awakened the moment he laid his hand upon me tonight...this hunger that I have kept buried, but I knew existed found in moments of loneliness when no one was with me.

"I...I have never been like this with any other man...not even him who broke this heart and let it struggle in the graves not once looking at it...My heart is buried...it doesn't exist...it doesn't love...it doesn't want these stupid illusions of love...but it still craves...wanting what you want...what you fulfill that it hasn't yet, but would like to..." My voice trembling as I began to feel adrenaline now popping its pill within me with nervousness now pumping through each and every part of my blood that ran through me not being able to bear that the values and ideologies its owner once valued were not being snapped one by one.

His lips pursed while he kept a still look with wandering eyes wanting to take in each and every piece of me ensuring I was affirm upon my decision. "I don't do relationships with strings attached to them...I don't commit to love...I only do flings...do you understand what I am saying?" He spoke with his voice increasing its tempo ensuring that I was in my senses and able to comprehend him.

Flings...Indeed those momentary relationships in which two beings indulge in to fulfill their own selfish appetite and thirst for being wanted...as perhaps they are not wanted by others in the world...perhaps alone and just want a moment of being seen by another stranger or individual they barely know. How would it like to be with a man like him? To indulge in a thrill with him who is purely bad...a man with a bad reputation?...How would it be like to have a fling with him? The thought making excitement and elation erupt within my heart that now had completely consumed itself with lust draping away the illusion of love that delusionals only believe in...Forget about love Anika. It doesn't exist. It never existed...think about what you want and go for it. Break the barriers...enough is enough now especially the humiliation you have faced tonight indicates that enough is enough.

A smirk appearing across my lips as I looked at him. "I understand what you are saying. It's just a fling...but I shall be respected in this fling. I am not someone you can walk over. I keep my patience and peace. I appear timid and quiet, but it doesn't mean I cannot stand my ground. I want respect and that will be enough for you to get what you want...but if you are thinking that we can go further to a point of doing that deed then you are mistaken. That is something I will not give into unless I am ready..." I announced keep the strength of my voice to ensure some command and list my thoughts knowing that I didn't want complexities to mix into this matter.

A soft smile touching Shivaay's lips as he looked at me trailing his eyes from my lips and down appearing to take each feature with its flaws making my soul recoil upon itself realizing how it was being observed for the first time...how its secrets were perhaps being grasped upon...how its flaws were being touched in innocence...how it was about to surrender to a man it doesn't even know, but now has a sudden, abrupt desire to have.

His hand taking hold of mine as he leaned closer while I laid still letting my lips separate realizing they were about to be touched, but only to have themselves press gently against my temple as he wrapped his hand beneath my head lifting it up allowing him to seal the promise.

A smile touching my lips while I caught his eyes that looked into mine letting me know they were truthful.

"I promise to respect you and respect all of your wishes. This is a fling, but I will not cross the boundary you have set. I assure you that," His voice low yet holding the latches of honesty that could be found in his eyes that for once did not hold that darkness, but clarity where the promise was now have found to engrave itself within him and begin to seed truth.

My fingers barely holding strength finding them weaken knowing that they were breaking the rules...breaking the norms...breaking the shackles that hold me, but not once wincing realizing that for once I do want to touch parts of me that I have not touched before...my guilty pleasures such as these of being lusted upon.

"We will not do the deed...ok?" I spoke once again ensuring he understood as Shivaay smiled tracing his fingers gently through my hair brushing them against my lips that began to shiver under his heated touch that still was unfamiliar, but potent enough to incite the tails of sensual sultry.

"I promise we will not do the deed...but everything else..." His smirk widening beginning to weave his imagination with thoughts that had utter filth and dirt to them which involved me and him...My cheeks turning red in an instant as I felt a malicious smile touch me realizing how I was beginning to get those images in my mind that were complete vice and graphic to even make note of.

A tender brush claying its way slowly down from lips trailing down to my heart that moved up and down...My heartbeat stopping and dropping as the touch briefly brushed against it making heat rush up to my face as my hand immediately took a grip of his that continued to its way down clasping against the cloth of my saree that laid against my waist. The cloth still damp from the wine he had spilled in the wine cellar moments ago that his fingers began to grip upon.

"I am sorry about that..." He whispered looking at the wet cloth still stuck to my waist that immediately tightened itself not able to bear the tickle the fingers initiated unknowingly leading to a warmth within me.

"Why do I feel you did it on purpose?" I noted with a teasing smile playing across my lips as I caught his eyes that held that naughtiness to it which likely did many misdeeds.

A gasp erupting from me suddenly feeling his fingers dig through the cloth and take a hold of the bare skin of my waist beginning to endear it lovingly letting them lightly move up and down against it. My hand feeling flimsy grabbing on to his collar and pulling him down as he buried his lips into the nape of my neck.

"It was a stroke of love janaan," He whispered as a smile touched my lips hearing the name he had picked for me. His lips pressing gently against my shoulder before he laid another and began his tirade of capturing each and every sight of naked skin that was visible.

His hands immediately tightening their grip around me pulling me closer as his lips glided down from my cheeks and to my neck where he began to lay gentle kisses relieving themselves of any force, but pressing them on to my lightly...dabbing it into my flesh letting my soul touch a dab of satiation in the lust it carried. Our bodies going still with a sudden spark crashing in how I began to tremble in his arms realizing how much I wanted to feel each and every part of him...finding my senses sweathered with alcohol that mixed itself with the strong pints of perfume that mixed with strength reflecting the man he was...A man who likely he always stood by his word...Who was leader...a commander...A man who incited fear...unlike Ayaan...He is everything Ayaan is not and that is what is pulling me like a magnet towards him.

My hands wrapping around his back while I buried my lips into the skin exposed from his disheaveled shirt finding my lips weakening not able to hold on and not knowing what I should do to make him feel the way he was making me feel at the moment...submerged in the guilty seas of sensuality.

"You don't know what you have done to me ever since I laid my eyes on you..." His voice breathless with his hands clasping around my cheeks before beginning to devour them again increasing the pace of his lips against them laying arrays of passion upon them wanting to taste each and every flaw of mine...finding himself captivated by their dullness as if they held a treasure he wanted a taste of.

My lips pressing themselves lightly against his chest finding my toes curl up with my heartbeats beginning to increase not able to bear the thought how this was a first for me. The smell of bitter alcohol appearing to consume my senses pushing me towards leading myself into the moment despite knowing how I was doing all my firsts with a stranger whom I barely have known, but have developed an unusual liking and desire to have...Perhaps it is a product of years of being deprived from moments like these where I am given attention to...for once praised and not taunted and cursed for the flaws I have.

Shivaay's lips stopping for a moment as he appeared to feel the thin, sheer kisses I was beginning to lay upon his chest with my eyes closed shut not able to bear what I was doing, but liking the uncharted territory I was slowly beginning to step upon or kiss upon...A giggle touching my heart as I traced my fingers slowly up his neck before pressing my lips against his collarbone as a small groan escaped from him making me realize that was his sweet spot where hunger hit him.

"You are not that innocent as you appear to be..." He whispered against my ear inciting heat to touch my cheeks not able to bear the fact how I had laid my innocence at the doorsteps of seduction.

https://youtu.be/eFFB3bs5yYo

His hand wrapping around my waist as he turned around to his back pulling me into the comfort of his heart wrapping his arms around me to ensure I would stay in this moment with him. My eyes lifting up looking towards him finding him entering a whirl of thoughts as he caught sight of the moon right above us gleaming through the glass ceiling.

"Innocence upon the face is a mere illusion...what speaks are gestures...my gestures speak my innocence...I am not the woman who spends moments like these with all...not even the man I once loved was allowed to touch me. However...tonight...when I entered my realm of silence...of loneliness...of abandonment where I lay many nights...I found a presence of a man. A man who not only wiped my tears, but weaved me with admiration...with hues of words that calmed a soul that was trembling and begging for wanting to be seen...with a touch that was virgin, yet held a desire igniting mine...Somehow, this heart pulled me towards a man like you...a stranger...yet as if someone I know forever..." My voice laying my truth as it broke his thoughts in an instant with his eyes capturing mine seeing that my lines were not mere letter formed on a string, but lines of a broken heart that wanted healing.

A weak smile revealing itself to me before he laid his lips against my edge of my temple expressing his love for the lines I had spoken to him...lines that assured he was the first to claim me in a way that no one else ever did...not even my former lover.

"Even this heart questions why I have allowed myself to slash the promises I have made to myself and allowed myself to indulge in another nameless relationship once again...but with a woman like you...a woman who is different in every shape and form...that makes her human...makes her desirable...makes her deserving of being a crown on a man's heart..." His poetic words once again stringing his appeal to me as I smiled softly letting my bangles clink gently against his shirt while I trailed my hand up and down his heart wanting to see if indeed I was the crown of his heart at the moment.

What are we? What are we doing in this moment? What connection have we had that allows us to be so close despite knowing the myriad distances we both share in the class and social steps we belong to along with the distances of years of our birth? That is a question I have, but do not want to answer because all I want is to intoxicate myself with him and his presence at the moment.

"Where have you learned to speak like this?...I want to enter those realms where I can find beauty in life like you have..." I spoke as we laid in silence admiring the moon as star crossed lovers that we weren't. A moon that only appeared to have craters and blemishes failing to realize its true beauty laid in the darkness it had embraced upon its light.

The swing gently moving back and forth as Shivaay moved slightly before pulling me tightly against his chest where I laid another kiss letting him know that I wanted more from him.

"Words of angst are not found in the realms of beauty, but in the dark realms where I pray no one goes...realms where no man shall ever go..." His voice having a firm hold pushing the effect of alcohol that was now completely draining his thoughts.

My eyes lifting up as I found that darkness in his eyes....just like the one found on the moon...in which appeared to now cloud the beauty of his blue hues which moments ago captured only me. Wrapping my hand around his cheek I met his eyes that looked towards me slightly revealing indeed that vice phantom that lurked within him.

Memories touching me reminding me of the dark man he perhaps is found in the world calling him an alcoholic...a man with philandering ways...and a man who is full of rage. "Then let go of those dark realms...be the man who you are...the man that lives within you and only comes about on nights like these...the way you did tonight for me," I whispered softly ensuring I would not awaken his gray shades.

A smile touching him as he wrapped his hand around my bangles admiring them before looking back towards me.

"Just like once a bangle breaks and cannot be repaired...so too when one enters a dark realm, they can never leave it...once one enters they forever are imprisoned...only few are able to leave it without being touched..." His voice appearing to shake as he looked away towards the palm of his hand observing his fate lines trying to find the moment when he became a victim.

My heart dropping in for a moment finding an crawl of discomfort swirling its way into my heart where he now was taking root...a stranger was taking root...and indeed this heart was not able to bear what it had heard...from the very man who dared to touch its wounds was himself a bondage to seclusion.

"You will leave darkness untouched...My heart tells me," I spoke before kissing his forehead and trailing my lips down to his cheek leaving another tender kiss there letting him know he too shall be freed.

His eyes meeting mine with the dark shade appearing to lighten and recoil back with the fear of being forgotten...uncanningly like the moon that weaves between darkness and light changing its shades each and every moment not knowing whom it would touch and lay its comfort upon...perhaps that is Shivaay who rages, yet comforts as he shifts in shades.

Shivaay wrapping his hand into my hair as he began to lean in finding himself allured by the lines that had left my shaking lips. His lips meeting mine immediately taking hold of them as I instantly obliged allowing him to guide me into the moment with his lips taking a firm control moving up and down slowly capturing each shade of my lipstick that now was barely rubbing on to him. His hand lifting my cheek and lending me support allowing him to fully access the sweet taste mixed with remnants of alcohol that I had to offer...a taste that was only mine not found in other women he gorged his hunger upon. Our lips increasing their pace and letting go and entering again to divulge into sensual appetite. My lips collapsing yet begging to continue to fulfill the craving that now was beginning to only grow within me knowing only he could fulfill it.

His lips letting go of mine as I felt breathless realizing the force with which he had claimed my lips that now appeared to scorch with heat finding themselves swollen. Sinking his teeth into the edge of my shoulder, he let my saree's pallu slightly slip down making me sigh able to feel his bite embed into the shallow lakes of content where fruits full of pleasureful zest were now beginning to grow.

"The moment I saw you tonight, I knew I was going to make you mine...A beauty like you deserves a man like me...not the creatures that lurk in filth...but a man like me who could truly cherish and admire your beauty..." He hissed against the nape of my neck before biting the edge of it making me whimper finding it burn until he kissed it.

I smiled as his lines hit the chords of my heart while I embraced him. "I never knew...fate would allow me to be touched by a man like you...A man who knows exactly how to strum the edges of sensuous hunger that a woman has buried for years..." I whispered letting him know exactly what he was doing to me and how I wanted more of it...my words a slight manipulation of his mind.

The swing beginning to increase its tempo moving back and forth finding itself rumble with the passion that now was fully draping itself around us with my lips attempting to latch on to his neck as I laid a bare kiss there wanting to feel the touch of his rough, yet thin skin that allowed me to unravel of his shades. His lips continuing to brush amour against the edge of my shoulder before kissing my cheeks one again repeating the cycle over and over again ensuring there would not be a spot left that wasn't marked by him.

"And I never knew fate would allow me...to meet a woman like you with naivity screaming from her...You know why I am attracted to you?" He spoke as I opened my eyes meeting his wanting an answer that why would he desire a flawed woman like me.

Shivaay smiling as he entwined our hands together before laying a tender kiss against mine and collapsing it against his chest.

"This naiveness you have...this childish nature that yet continues to light itself within you and not falter despite the woes of the world...this unknowingly seduction you carry found in that shy smile of yours that you keep...the sudden emergence of deep reflection that comes out of your lips despite you always being forced to put a foolish mask of ignorance by your family...All these traits of yours' that you find as flaws are the very reason why I have developed a liking for you..." He spoke causing an abrupt smile to grasp on to me as my eyes lowered not able to tolerate his lines that were enduring and for once made my flaws put on a veil of a blessing that I should find pride in. Indeed, no one has ever been so kind to me...no one.

Taking a grasp of my neck he immediately took hold of my swollen lips diving for another kiss making me drown into a hallucination where all my problems...worries...sense of isolation appearing to disappear and now fully consumed with pleasure that was now veiling them. Our lips creating their own rhythm in which beats were dropped, but the motif never changed as we continued to engulf into the pure rough yet tender touch that we were allowing to break the barriers we both carried.

Finding ourselves losing our breaths we pressed against each other letting the heat of our flesh mold and merge into one another with our lips let go of one another before we embraced each other. The ambience of the dark room only lit with the moonlight's blessing that scattered upon us livening a lucid romance we both were now allowing ourselves to become part of.

"If it was up to me...I would lay here all night with you in my arms..." He spoke softly. I bit my lip trying to hide my smile, but failing before kissing his cheek once again.

Shivaay sighing as he felt the touch of my lips brush upon him finding an allure in them. "Don't make this difficult Anika..." He noted to ensure the seriousness of the moment as I giggled before finding his arms loosening their grip from my waist and letting go.

His body lifting up from mine while I followed him and sat upon the swing that continued to move back and forth from the after effect of the heated moment we both perhaps had encountered ourselves upon.

His gaze lifting up as he ran his hand through the delicate rope of the swing where vines of roses found themselves entwined with. His fingers pricking a red rose as he grabbed hold of it before turning towards me and before I could say anything he began to trace the rose gently from my temple and down my lips igniting goosebumps along the way. My lips quivering as I felt the rose petals softly touch them enticing them to be touched by a kiss, but depriving them of it. My gaze lowering finding his fingers lightly skim the edge of my neck with the rose that continued to trace itself down my shoulder making me shudder not able to bear it softly touch each and every part of me inciting a deep need to once again have in my arms and allow him to pull me into sin once again.

"This rose...is nothing compared to what you deserve, but it is a gift from me to mark the beginning of a moment in which we both...will indulge in from now on...where we will be able to be freed from the dark realms we live in and only consume ourselves with a passion that will relieve us from those realms and let us only touch the solace that we can only find in one another..." His lines wrapping around the rose he held which he wrapped into the palm of my hand laying it upon my fate where now he was going to be mine for only a moment...only a moment which will end, but fully excised and deprived of its life until it nourishes our craving for being desired and wanted by another.

"And this rose shall mark the beginning of the time in our life when we finally were able to break our barriers...walk beyond our differences... and be united for a moment where we both were finally admired the way no one else had done before...a moment where we finally were able to realize our worth...that we too are human..." I spoke realizing that somehow my heart was confessing how tonight it had been relieved of its wounds for a moment and for once lived after so many years.

Shivaay smiling as my words appeared to mark their territory in his heart where he held his own disgraced wounds. At this moment, I cannot read his eyes that reflect this soul as he appears to barricade them from strangers, but I can tell that somewhere he is a human whom others perceive as a beast.

His fingers lightly tracing themselves against my shoulder finding them etch against my saree's pallu that was now beginning to slip down my shoulder. My gaze lowering finding them linger near its seam pondering over whether they should let it fall. A rush of heat touching my ear finding a pair of lips merge themselves against it before finding his fingers inch slowly before brushing their unusual softness against the bare skin of my back. My saree's pallu lifting itself up as he grazed it across my back wrapping it around my shoulder ensuring my honor remained in the lifeless fabric.

"Under my presence, your honor will always be protected, but the territory we are entering may be dangerous...it may hurt you Anika...it may hurt your reputation," He spoke appearing to want me to question my decision of agreeing to have a fling with him...a relationship where no strings will be attached.

"Thank you for making this promise of protecting my honor...but...I will like to say that I understand what territory I am entering and...I...I want to live for myself and I want this at the moment. I want us...I want this fling and I am comfortable with the idea because I don't believe in the matters of the heart anymore or any longer...so I assure you I fully understand and I still want this..." I spoke loudly to ensure he would hear my agreement.

A smile appearing across Shivaay's lips finding content in my answer realizing that I was in my senses. His arms pulling me into another embrace as I laid my head against his shoulder realizing how much ease I found in him than any other being I had encountered ever...How despite being a stranger he appeared to be the closest to me at the moment.

Reputation? What reputation?...It already has been maligned after the way my own fiancé left me to only marry my sister making the world question what may be wrong with me that would allow him to do such and even convince my parents to agree. Already, I have a lost reputation and to be honest why would I still want to live for others and what defines a good reputation? What is a good reputation?...It's all defined by societal norms and sickening values...Why should I care about my parents who not once thought of me by agreeing to this marriage between my ex fiancé and my younger sister? Why should I care for my parents who blame my inability to have children as the cause of Ayaan having an affair with my younger sister? I am tired of living for my parents and now I will live for myself.

I like Shivaay...There is that edge of mystery to him that makes me want to dive into...He has that tinge of danger which he hides, but clearly utilizes in moments when needed...He has a command amongst others that I like...He incites fear amongst my own enemies...And yet he is so gentle and kind to me...He admires me...He makes me want to embrace my flaws...he protected me in front of my family...more than that he fulfills me the way no one else has done...and I know it is wrong to suddenly dive into a fling due to a moment where he projected him in good light...but I don't care...I am not scared of what will happen or how he will come to be...I am not scared that I am diving into a moment with a man I barely know because somewhere I feel that I have known him since forever...And I know I am being naïve...I know I am naïve, but this is the first time fate is giving me an escape.

And I don't care that I am being selfish because I am tired of being alone and if for a moment, I find comfort in a stranger's arms then be it because I have a right to have my desires and needs fulfilled.

"We should get going..." He whispered as I sighed not wanting to, but knowing it was needed before others would become curious about our whereabouts. His hand entwining into mine as he pulled me up and we began to walk down the stair steps.

"Now be careful...saree's are clearly not your thing," He noted with a smirk as my eyes widened finding his eyes skim me up and down finding me barely able to hold on to my saree's pallu which I kept wrapped around me.

"I feel you didn't get attracted to me because of my pecularities, but because of what you saw when my pallu slipped down today in my room...Remember?" I noted as Shivaay's smirk widened remembering that awkward moment when he came to give me medicine and my pallu collapsed on to the floor. My cheeks turning red remembering the sheer discomfort that I had pierced unknowingly between us.

"How I wish it was that moment, but no it was the crazy and childish behavior you displayed at the dhaba and the clinic that got to me," He noted with my eyes shooting up throwing a glare at him not able to tolerate how he labeled my behavior as though knowing somewhere he was speaking the truth.

"Excuse me?!" I exclaimed lightly hitting his chest with the rose I held in my hand as he let out a chuckle before wrapping his hand around my waist pulling me against him.

Our eyes meeting one another revealing that hunger that he held for me still ignited with his eyes attempting to unravel me once again, but keeping patience. "You should be flattered that the behavior others may find as a flaw is what makes me want to have you...and only you..." The sound of his voice holding an edge of roughness making my heart jump in an instant despite knowing he might have said this line to many others, but still finding a sense of excitement in that in this moment he still desired a woman like me. The rose from my hand falling down not able to bear his lines that were laid upon its owner.

My foot slipping down the step as he immediately wrapped his arm around my waist before lifting me up in his arms. A shriek erupting from me loudly as I buried myself into his shoulder with fear of falling down on the ground knowing I was heavy and he wouldn't be able to bear my weight.

"Let me go! Let me go please!" I pleaded wavering my legs up and down trying to force him to let me go, but failing to convince him.

A loud laugh erupting from Shivaay as he began to move me side to side further pricking my fear of my falling. My cheeks heating up realizing how he was holding me against him attempting to cradle me with his unusual way of pampering.

"Acha ji, you want me to go of you?" He questioned with a precarious smile while attempting to maintain a serious look of concern.

My head immediately shaking as I wrapped my arms tightly around him begging him to let go of me. Suddenly he dipped me down to the ground inciting a fearful scream from me realizing I was about to hit it, however, failing to touch it as he lifted me up.

"Stop! What are you doing?!" My anger now building up inside of me realizing he was not listening to my demand as I dug my fingers into his shirt to force him to let go of me.

Shivaay began to cradle me again back and forth before walking towards the main doors of the library. "You told me to let go of you and so that is what I was doing...Do you want me to do that again?" He questioned as my eyes widened encountering a playful smirk on his lips realizing he was doing this on purpose to get on my nerves.

"N-no...don't do that! What has gotten into you? I...I mean really?!" I attempted to shake him back to that Shivaay I had encountered two days ago who was stern, rarely smiled, and matter of fact was just a pain in the...I beeped the last word in my mind immediately knowing it was wrong to label him with such a grave word.

He appeared to swiftly look back at me with his eyes that now were relishing in the moment liking that he was successfully pestering me. "Why? Which Shivaay do you like? This one who is pampering you or the one you encountered at the airport who was slightly aggressive yet serious? I could be either...it depends on a woman's preference you know...their preference in what type of person arouses and fulfills their needs..."

"Ahhh! Stop! Stop filling your dirty mind into my ears!" I exclaimed closing my eyes shut not wanting the image in my head, but already having it produced by him successfully.

"And you know what...makes them...feel many things..." He began to continue.

"Stop! Do you want to kill me right now with this level of filth?!" My hand taking a firm grasp of his collar grabbing his attention.

Our eyes meeting once again as he looked at me teasingly finding satisfaction in how he seemingly had inserted sensual images of pleasure in my mind letting me know of what may come. In an instant, a shy smile touching my lips with my gaze lowering not able to even bear the thought of it.

Laughter suddenly erupting and echoing through the empty library as we both entered into a fit of giggles. Burying my lips into his neck, I let my giggles to continue realizing how it has been ages since I have laughed so openly with glee...not a forced laugh, but a true, genuine one...and the funny part is I don't know why I am laughing, but I am and that is the insane part of it.

"Oh Anika...why are you like this?" Shivaay questioned leaning his lips against my cheek before kissing it tenderly as I felt him softly smile.

"You know I could say the same about you...One moment all serious and rough and tough and then the next...just the complete opposite...full of surprises to be honest. I mean if someone told me the first day I met you that you actually have a sense of humor, are a poet, and then..." I stopped pausing the thought as Shivaay carried me towards the door leaning against it.

"And then what?" He questioned with curiosity hitting him wanting to know. My lips pursing tightly together knowing what I was going to say, but failing to utter the line feeling at unease saying it.

"Um...um...nothing!" I noted trying to divert the topic as Shivaay began to lower me once again making me scream realizing he was threatening me to spill the beans.

"Say it!" He ordered with a playful, but eager smile capturing my gaze enticing me to spill the words out of mouth.

"And...I never would have believed that a man like you knows how to drum lust and make pleasure dance," I whispered looking directly into his eyes not once flinching even though what I had said was indeed a little scandalous for me considering the choice of timid words I use in speech.

His smirk continuing to linger while he leaned against the door still holding me in his arms. "And I never thought that a woman like you...who appears that cliché innocent, sweet soul could be so bold and senusous when time comes..." He whispered in seduction making my eyes widen hearing his claim remembering what just had happened between the both of us. My heart beginning to beat erratically once again not able to bear his lines though knowing I had lost myself in the moment somehow finding consumed with the idea of pleasure...an idea I am now exploring which I perhaps always wanted to now when I think of it.

"S-stop...can we just s-stop this conversation please?" My voice stuttering realizing that his words had an effect upon me feeling my cheeks redden with a tight knot forming within me full of bundling and anxious nerves not wanting to come in terms that somehow this timid soul was able to do a lot more things than what was believed...things related to craving and fulfilling a thirst.

Shivaay chuckling as he lowered me down on to my feet. Anger touching me remembering how he had picked me up and wasn't letting me go which in an instant fired within my hand that pushed itself against his chest. He immediately jerked back appearing caught off guard.

"What the hell?!" He exclaimed trying to appear clueless, but clearly knowing why he deserved the smack from me. Shrugging my shoulder, I kept a devious smile proceeding to the lock.

"Oh I am now not going to let you go easily!" His hands entangling themselves around my waist making me yelp with sudden surprise.

"What are you doing Mr. Oberoi?!" I screamed as he pulled my back closer against his chest before beginning to lay another mirage of tender, yet passionate, heated kisses trailing from my shoulder up towards the nape of my neck.

"Shivaay...only Shivaay...hm?" He muttered against my neck wanting me to say his name as I smiled shyly wanting to claim my right to say it, but enjoying the urge to call to call him "Mr. Oberoi".

My fingers digging themselves into his grabbing on to them tightly not able to bear how the mere brush of his lips were enough to make my heart tremble unable to bear the ardor that it was receiving form him...my soul recoiling not able to tolerate that seams of passion that were now being wrapped around it and engraving themselves in it letting it know that it too shall be acknowledged despite the flaws it has. A burst of weakness sparking from my waist until my legs not able to tolerate his kisses that he continued to lay.

"W-we...should go. Um...y-yeah..." I whispered barely able catching on to the lock that I began to slide from its latch. He appeared to sigh lifting his lips from my shoulder before unraveling his hands from waist.

I smiled realizing how he listened to be an instant and obliged something I feel he rarely would do considering his nature. My hand unlocking the door reaching out to open it before my legs lifted once again in the air making me scream.

Shock lifting its onto me as I looked at him completely surprised how he dared to once again hold me. His arms lifting me up as he let out a chuckle finding himself amused with the complete fear of falling I shuttered in.

"Now...don't do this again!" I urged pouting my lips in an attempt to hide my smile because somewhere I was enjoying the way he was pampering me.

"Well you should've thought that before smacking my chest now! So...now we shall go!" He exclaimed opening the door and beginning to walk out.

My eyes widening as I realized he was going to carry me towards our respective rooms down the hall. Fear catching on to my heart realizing that likely other guests would be outside and see us together.

"N-no! My family will lose it if they see us like this!" My hand shaking his collar as he began to walk me down the empty hallway that would turn towards the rooms.

Shivaay chuckling as he dipped me down before lifting me up again making me yelp with my hand taking a firm grasp of his shoulder fearing I would fall once again. "Please let me go! I promise...I will do anything you say, but let me go ok?" I urged him once more while Shivaay shook his head not agreeing with my request.

"No, I like this actually...Don't you? You should be lucky you are getting special attention by me," He remarked continuing to lead me down the hallway.

Sighing I turned my gaze only to have my heart skip a beat seeing the person in front of me...the figure who would go berserk seeing Shivaay and I like this...

"Anika?!" Pooja massi exclaimed looking towards us before letting go of her phone from her ear. Her eyes popping out immediately with her mouth gaping open as if she had just met the devil himself.

My hand beginning to hit Shivaay' shoulder awakening him from his daze that he seemingly had entered with his gaze intently set on me. "Pooja massi....oh my God...let go!" I urged shaking him harder as he looked up with his eyes widening indeed finding fear in the short, frail woman who could spew rumors and gossip at the speed of light.

His arms dropping me down in an instant as I grabbed a firm hold of the wall next to me barely balancing with panic now running in loops inside of me with wild thoughts now speeding from what she may be thinking or what she lies she may actually say and spread to the others.

This is it Anika. It's all over. For once you thought about yourself...for once you thought of breaking boundaries and crossing them to feed your own need...to make a decision you felt was right...and now look. Fate somehow screwed you up moments later.

"What are you both doing?" She questioned steadily walking towards us with curiosity rampantly running within her eager to know how she fulfill her guilty pleasure of gossiping.

My eyes shifting towards Shivaay feeling alarmed over what may happen now considering how she saw the both of us. His eyes meeting mine expecting me to say something, but realizing that I was definitely a deer caught in headlights as his eyes shot back towards Pooja massi.

"Um...well...thigh!" He blurted the word randomly as I looked at him confused not able to comprehend his speech that blabbered out an unusual word.

His head swinging towards me as he clenched his teeth in frustration pointing towards my thigh that held the gash I had gotten from the robbery at the dhaba.

My eyes widening as I nodded immediately looking back towards Pooja massi with my hand clasping against my thigh that now was almost healed.

"Ouch! My thigh!...Oh God, it is hurting so much Pooja massi...the pain is awful...it is like...like I am a rat who is just being eaten and chewed by a snake constantly and constantly without any end to it!" I exclaimed slamming myself against the wall closing my eyes slightly pretending the pain was unbearable.

"What?!" Shivaay exclaimed appearing widely confused and revulsed by the odd phrase I had spoken.

Okay, I know and I get it. I have an odd choice of words which always happens when I get a little nervous and go into panic mode. It is natural, but I clearly get it if he doesn't understand and is perceiving me as a violent person at the moment who loves the fantasy of being eaten by snakes.

"Hain? You were fine before," Pooja massi noted walking towards me and placing her hand on my shoulder looking at my thigh which I clenched on to tightly.

"Uff...how am I supposed to know where the pain suddenly came from?! Do I look like a doctor to you? I mean...I failed to get into medical school three times, so obviously I am not a genius in understanding the human body or even science!...And last time I checked, you dropped out of medical school...so clearly you don't known medicine and...I mean how can you suspect your own niece?....What times have come that aunts are suspecting their own nieces?!" My voice hitting a high pitch whine as Shivaay winced not able to tolerate my voice that was scratching his ears out.

"Arre, how can you blame me?! What were you both doing anyways? I mean Shivaay beta, how did you find her and why were you carrying her?" Pooja massi continuing to be a cheap Sherlocks Holmes imposter as she babbled her nonsense.

Shivaay clearing his throat attempting to think of something, but only to blurt out the truth. "We were in the library...we just both stumbled upon one another...and then we were just checking out books..." He said keeping some air of confidence as he fidgeted with his hands.

Oh yeah. We were checking out...each other not books. My heart winked naughtingly as a small smile touched my lips hiding it against the back of my hand.

"Y-yes...lots of books...Like we were just searching and delving into different pages and layers..." My voice going off remembering how we had dived into pleasure on that swing exploring each and every part of one another without any shame, but only a hunger to satiate that appetite we have developed over one another.

A smirk coming across Shivaay's lips realizing the double meaning of my statement knowing I was not talking about books, but that unusual tirade of heated, tender kisses we had broken out into laying it upon one another with an unusual passion that steamed from within us.

Pooja massi turning towards Shivaay as she continued to babble while I threw a glare at her and mimicked her yapping with my hands making an alligator gesture. Shivaay's eyes moving towards me as he bit into a laugh seeing me continuing to mock her while I scrunched my nose and waved my hand in the air as she did.

"Look, maybe you were helping her...but how would others know? You also come from an affluent and well cultured family, so please try to understand," Pooja massi continuing to yap on as I placed molded my hands into horns placing them on my head and waving them back and forth behind her.

A loud laugh suddenly slipping from Shivaay as he could no longer suppress it. Pooja massi instantly turning towards me with my hands clasping behind my back ensuring they would not indulge in the baloney foolishness they had just done.

"What were you doing Anika? You know your mother is saying you are having some attitude issues these days...What will happen to girls your age?...The amount of childishness...." Pooja massi began to go on as my expression fell flat mentally facepalming myself and wanting to make a run instead of continuing to hear her long lecture on how women should be according to cheap societal standards.

Shivaay grasping on to the top of his head as he sighed not able to tolerate the woman's painful, squeaky voice that was continuing to rant for no reason. I think it's the pain meds she is taking that are making her go a little...cuckoo.

Taking a large sigh, I clasped my hands together against my forehead bowing my head in front of her. "Pooja massi...I get it. We made a mistake. He was helping me ok? Now, please do not lecture us alright? We sincerely and deeply apologize! Now spare our ears okay before they bleed to death?!"

Pooja massi appearing dumbfounded finding her voice reach a halt not able to believe what I just said. Her eyebrows furrowing as she began to tap her foot loudly against the floor seeing me as the floor and she was smacking its face. "Oh now you are talking normally! Where did the pain go?" She questioned as my eyes widened realizing she had caught me.

My hand immediately taking grasp of my thigh once again. "Ouch! N-no...the pain is still there...uff...I would not even wish this upon my worst enemy...including Pooja massi!"

Pooja massi's mouth slightly opening catching on that I had indirectly listed her as my enemy. Well I do have a list of enemies whom I wish to rub my wealth into once I get successful. It's a mean girls dream I have.

"Okay, now stop being the drama queen you are! You have a good reputation of being the dramatic one in the family..." Pooja massi smacked her lips disapproving of my character flaw while Shivaay's smile widened looking at me up and down trying to figure where the drama was.

"Drama me?...Wow, now even pain is perceived as drama in this family...Oh well, I shall go now..." I pretended to place a grim look upon me beginning to pretend to drag my thigh as if it had died to show I was in pain.

"Ok, let me take you to your room," Pooja massi sighing as she wrapped her hand around my shoulder beginning to walk me towards my room giving into my foolish lie. A wide smirk appearing across my lips looking back towards Shivaay who shook his head not able to believe how I had easily fooled Pooja massi.

His smirk matching mine before he winked at me and gave me an air kiss. My eyes widening with my cheeks reddening in the instant feeling as if his kiss in the air had touched my lips igniting the remnants of the kisses he had laid shamelessly upon me in a manner no one had ever done...touching the barren thirst I didn't even know I had.

"Good night..." I mouthed to him as he gave me another air kiss while I immediately looked back not able to bear the innocent flirtation he was indulging in at the moment.

What is happening to me? Why am I giving into him so easily and willingly? I could have never thought tonight would end like this...I would've never thought I would end up initiating a fling with a much older man, let alone my father's own boss...If someone told me I would end up in a fling a few years ago, I would've laughed saying I only do commitment and here I am laying at the door steps where nameless relationships live...where two beings can never be threaded to one another... and somehow I am liking the thrill of it. I am liking the excitement of breaking the rules and just having fun...People's definition of fun is different, but tonight I learned my definition of fun is indeed sinful, but pleasant and something I would continue to do no matter how many boundaries and rules I have to break...

I don't give a damn about anyone anymore. I will do now what I want and what I need...What matters is me now. Everyone else can go to hell.

.....

Preview of Part 2:

"Shivaay beta...If your childhood wasn't the best, it doesn't mean that Ira will suffer the same fate if you get married...Look I also have found a girl for you...I think she will be perfect for you and Ira. She will be the one to keep the family together...heal our family...heal Ira and...heal you...beta...she is perfect...And I think you may also like her as well...You know Anika, I think she will be perfect for you. Most importantly, Anika is great with Ira...I saw Ira smiling and laughing with her something she barely does in our presence...Ira see's a mother in her...She has never been like this with anyone else. I even talked to her Nani about you and she is willing to give her hand in marriage to you and likely Anika's parents will get convinced as well..." Daadi spoke.

Anika as my wife...The thought pulling me into the depths of mind where a picture appeared to touch me...an unusual picture phantoming itself into life where she appeared to be as my wife...wearing a sindoor in the parting of her hair...wearing a mangalsutra of my name...wearing that saree in which she would welcome me each day with that seductive smile of her she innocently plays with...The way she will be childish and bring a reckoning to our home with her unusual habits that might make me a smile...The way she will reel me in to her allure and surrender herself to shyness...A smile touching my lips remembering last night...

....

So, Shivaay and Anika have decided to pursue a no strings attached relationship? How do you feel about this? This is a redux of LTLHA, so indeed it is going in a completely different direction, but follows the same theme :)

I am so sorry for not replying to comments on previous chapters, but I got busy writing LTLHA, however I hope to reply to all of them over this weekend as you all do know I do reply to all comments and feedbacks :)

Part 2 is now available to be read after this part :)

This part is short because as of now I will be updating chapters in parts instead of one long update for readers' convenience since I know many of you including me are quite busy and it is easier to read the chapters in such a manner :)

WARNING: Shivaay underwent a traumatic childhood, so please do not read his point of view if this is something that gives discomfort-I tried my best to tone the language down and use words, but let me know by commenting below or messaging me and I will cut the scene

This story focuses on no strings attached relationships that develop into something bigger...like commitment. This story has a dark shade that will be revealed later. Right now it is lighter and minimal conflict is seen, but will change as Shivika's relationship develops...their relationship needs a lot of development.

Okay, so if you know me I am not an expert in writing romantic and intimate scenes, so I tried my best in writing this part and if it sucks and fails then I am so sorry, but I tried and really tried, but I am so sorry if this part does not turn out to be okay. I know I am so sorry and I tried :( If you want me to cut or censor this scene then comment below or message me and I will do such :)

Shivaay's point of view is a little detailed in the beginning, but it had to be because this is the first time his POV is being introduced in the story and gives background on his horrible past and childhood, so do read it if you can :)...Future detailed POV will be shortened :) I am trying :)

I would say the lines that appear dramatic-the poetic ones are meant to be that way as Shivaay is a poet in this story and likes poetry, so he speaks in that manner and Anika grasps on to that because she herself reads and writes poetry :) It's a characteristic to their relationship.

.....

Thank you for reading and if you liked this part then please do vote, comment, and share :)

You can follow me on Wattpad or Twitter (Twitter account name: JasmineDarcie). On Twitter, I give more sneak peeks of my stories along with fun voting polls and even spoilers, so do follow if you wish :) My twitter account is solely dedicated to my stories and giving sneak peeks (I tweet almost everyday) and no drama if you know what I mean lol :D

Thank you and God bless.

Ciao!

-Jasmine

P.S. This story focuses on no strings attached relationships that develop into something bigger...like commitment. This story has a dark shade that will be revealed later. Right now it is lighter and minimal conflict is seen, but will change as Shivika's relationship develops...their relationship needs a lot of development.

A friendly clarification: I do repeat some words, but I do it on purpose to play with them as their meaning changes in each line and are dabbing in poetry. Example: Shivaay's eyes are compared to the moon when Anika is talking to him while looking at the moon. When Shivaay says: dark realms-she looks at the moon and see darkness upon it...So I repeated darkness to emphasize his relation to the moon and I do repeat on purpose and knowingly but in a poetic and playful sense-I am so sorry for the confusion :(

So, Shivaay and Anika have decided to pursue a no strings attached relationship? How do you feel about this? This is a redux of LTLHA, so indeed it is going in a completely different direction, but follows the same theme :)

I am so sorry if this part was boring, but the chapter is divided in parts...so idk, I tried to make this interesting, but I am so sorry if it was boring and sucked and failed :(

Hopefully Part 2 is more interesting compared to this one as if I think has more drama with people suspecting something is going on between Shivika and then Shivaay also protects Anika once again in part 2 :)

Part 2 is now available to be read after this part :)