Hi everyone :) I want to begin by thanking God because oh my gosh, I have been writing and updating a lot this week, so I am surprised with myself concerning this considering how I lazy and slow writer am :) Also, I want to thank all amazing readers who continue to read my stories and give so much love to them :) Thank you everyone :)

Please do read Part 1 that is shorter because reading that part will help you understand what is happening this part :)

This update seems long, but a good part of it has a long review for Chapter 8 and then the other part has me babbling and lecturing as usual LOL, so the actual chapter is medium size length :)

Mature Content Warning: This chapter has heavy mature content that is appropriate for 18 years or older.

Also, some readers may find this chapter vulgar and please let me know and I will cut and censor scenes, so if you want some scenes to be cut or censored then please do comment below or message me and I will for sure cut and censor scenes.

Author's Mature Content Writing Style: I do my best to reduce mentioning of explicit content and write lovemaking scenes in symbols and metaphors through inexplicit meaning which is what I have done in this chapter as well where there is one lovemaking scene. I am so sorry if I failed to do justice to the scene, but I tried

Lovemaking scene in this chapter: I wrote this scene by hearing requests and demands from readers that they kind of wanted more mature content for this story compared to the one seen in LTLHA as this story is focused on flings and more on live in relationships, so I feel like this scene is longer than the one I wrote for LTLHA, but perhaps I am wrong. I will say this scene focuses on the loss of virginity and what goes through Anika's mind when this happens. The love part of lovemaking will be focused on as Anika and Shivaay's relationship develops.

Thank you for reading and if you like this chapter then if you wish do vote, comment, and share :)

I tried my best to do edits and right now I am completely tired, but I do hope to do more edits for grammar hopefully by tomorrow :)

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https://youtu.be/wHxBawbxyWw

"Y-yes...just...just make love...make me feel wanted..." I whispered, but loud enough for him to hear as he immediately wrapped his arm around me turning me around and pulling me into his heart.

Tears escaping from me upon finding my owns words turning and slitting my own essence...an essence I had built upon a castle of worthless values...useless norms...pitiful honor...An essence that was built upon satisfying my blood that only hurt me and deprived me of my own happiness...My own blood burned me down to the ground once finding a flaw in my barren womb...Indeed, I was a fool to define my self-worth upon this castle.

His hand running through the waves of my hair as he attempted to console me. "You are wanted...you are worth loving...never ever say such words again ok?...I never want you to say such words again Anika..." His voice breaking from sinful seduction and entering a trail of warmth that oddly he embraced in a second.

Lifting myself out of his grip, I looked down at him finding his eyes reflecting his heart that were not lusting over me, but lovingly and tenderly appreciating my presence where a genuine attraction was forming itself.

"Thank you...you are a good man. I know you probably never would want to admit it, but you are a good human being. Thank you for protecting me today...for standing up for me...for bringing me here and comforting me...Thank you for taking my burden and making it yours' in this moment...I wish I met you before...I really do. S-sometimes I wonder that despite how far we both are in our age...we somehow were bonded by fate...the way you know me and the way I know you...the way we understand each other...the way you complete my thoughts and I complete yours'...It feels odd to me...No one has understood me so well the way you do and I love this about you...I love how you listen to me...understand me...make me feel good and admired..." My words hitting a pause as I stopped myself realizing that my heart appeared to now be burying my love for Ayaan, deep six feet under the grave, while beginning to weave an attraction...an odd, yet pure feeling for the man lying next to me.

A soft smile touching Shivaay's lips as he traced his hand up my neck pulling me closer towards him. "Don't thank me Anika...I am doing what is right and...I don't know what it is, but I have this need and this desire to protect you and keep you safe. The moment I have met you, I have nurtured a desire to not let go of you no matter what. Anika...I feel the same way as you do. I don't what it is about you, but there is something that is pulling me towards you...It's as if we have known each other for long...yet we don't. There is some connection that we both have which we don't even know about...or cannot pinpoint what it is. But...I like being with you...being around you and I know I am impulsive by saying this, but I real like to be with you and I admire each and every thing about you..." His low, soft whisper somehow echoing into my heart.

My heart weakening not able to bear the thought that in this moment it was budding roots of Shivaay's name upon it...that somewhere in this moment, this heart is being bewitched and finding itself forming soft velvet threads that want to knot with his heart.

Our lips quivering finding themselves tremble upon confessing our feelings for one another...confessing how somewhere we both are forming a deep attraction for one another that arises when two souls...not beings...but two souls are finding themselves grazing against one another...touching one another...and begging to intertwine into each other knowing they finally have met their mate. My palm trailing against his heart finding it beating erratically indicating that somewhere I was having an effect upon him...that somewhere this ugly, piggish, glutton Anika was charming him...enticing him...tempting him.

"Anika...are you sure you want to do this?" He questioned as my heart warmed up realizing how he was not taking advantage of my vulnerability, but instead doing what was right according to him. His hands wrapping around me and pulling me into an embrace as we held silence for another moment...a silence for me to think of my decision.

The question hitting my soul that laid in silence within me not saying a word...not feeling a thought...not wanting to even lift the mirage of values it holds and keeps within itself sacredly or used to at least. I have always cherished my values...my ideologies...my honor...I have taught to cherish such pitiful values and nameless honor that hold no meaning besides objectifying my presence and my flesh...What is the use of having these values and draping yourself with false veils of honor when one is forced to suffocate their needs, desires, and dreams and hopes...No. I am done. Due to the sake of keeping honor, I have kept my silence not letting anyone know how my own sister stole my lover...Due to the sake of keeping honor, I have kept my silence not letting anyone know how my parents selfishly decided to agree to my sister's wedding with my ex fiancé because they see potential money prospects in their marriage...Due to the sake of keeping honor, I have kept my silence not letting anyone know how my own discriminatory and malicious loved ones decided to isolate me because I am a barren...a barren who was chosen by fate to not give birth to life.

No I am done... I am going to lift this veil of honor and bury it with my own hands because this veil has done nothing, but hurt me...I will now fulfill my own needs and wants because that is what I deserve...I deserve to care for myself...to live for myself...

Brushing my fingers against his heart, I wrapped them around his cheek and pulled myself up to him looking into his eyes finding them now fully consumed with a deep, longing crave to have a taste of me...a hit of the ugly, ecstasy I carried which he loved to have and slowly hit his peaks.

A smile touching my lips as I bit them finding myself intrigued by how and what he would do to me.

"Yes...I want you...I want you to claim me...I want you to count my beauty each and every moment that you make love or make whatever you want...I will repeat your name and you will continue to make love...You will tease me...you will tempt me...and then you will savor me. Now...let's keep the silence and only do what we have to do to reach our high from where we will find it hard to crash..." My mind now consumed with a phantom of lust that danced upon my soul giving my voice seduction that I myself did not know I had nurtured.

Grabbing a hold of his shirt, I lifted him up slowly and gently. His eyes finding themselves spellbound by mine as I smiled moving my hair to the side letting him see the supples of my cleavage that led to many secrets he could claim and gorge upon. His jaw clenching tightly wanting to control that savage within him who in this moment was forging its hunger for me.

Lifting myself up to my knees, I leaned closer towards him merging the heat of our bodies that were now pleading to us that we give in immediately and not continue this play we both have indulged in.

Somehow, he is the leader and I am his seductive student. Indeed, it is a nice game that I am currently relishing in.

My hand clasping to the back of my dress finding the zipper behind it as I looked at Shivaay whose eyes were roaming at the edges of my heart before gliding down my curves imagining what may lay underneath. A shade of red touching my cheeks as I smiled softly before tracing my fingers around my zipper and letting it fall down.

Shivaay's eyes widening finding himself stunned as he saw the dress loosening from my skin knowing it was going to fall apart any moment and unravel the mysteries that I have let no man ever see even the one I loved.

"Anika...we...we can go slow into this moment..." Shivaay spoke barely keeping a hold of his voice finding himself being drawn by what he may see soon, but still somewhere keeping his respect for me and my will.

My hands trailing gently against his chest which flexed upon the hotness they encountered from burning desires flaming within me. Our eyes meeting one another finding both of us equally wanting to dive in the satin sheets of love making.

"Shivaay...no one has seen me like this...No one. I swear...you are the man who will see me like this and...you deserve it. You have won me...The way you held me when I have crashed...the way you have fought for me against those who have wronged me...The way you have made me feel that I too am lovable...You deserve to see me like this...bare flesh of mine that holds many invisible bruises...and likely doesn't carry the beauty that you have found in other women...b-but...this is m-me...a-and...s-somewhere I t-trust you...w-with this matter..." My voice faltering with heavy breaths that now I was beginning to take feeling my flesh burning with fear...fear if what if in this moment I fail...fail to give him what he needs...failing to satisfy him...Indeed, this is uncharted territory that I have never walked upon.

A warm touch simmering itself at the edges of my pulse that continued to beat fervently against the edge of my neck. My eyes meeting his blue hues that held the dark edge of danger subliming with solace that barely cracked.

"You can trust me Anika. I respect you and despite anything that may happen moments from now. You can trust me and I will do everything that gives you comfort and ease Anika. You will be the priority..." His kind voice somehow enticing me as I felt a shiver go through me finding myself turn a red shade.

He began to lean closer making my heart hit a loud tempo realizing the moment was about to be initiated. My gaze lowering not able to bear to look at him with demure falling upon me as I knew how wrong, yet how fulfilling this moment was going to be...No regrets touching me once...

A sensation dropping down into the folds of my flesh that traced into a flower below my waist...finding itself quivering and wanting to blossom soon.

His lips latching on to the nape of my neck laying his searing thirst upon it as I sat still finding my knees beginning to dip into the mattress with weakness now lifting through me halting any movement. Silence touching us as he continued to slowly devour the bland taste of my skin finding mysteries and new flavors in it.

"S-Shivaay..." His name slipping out of me as a whisper as I felt my breaths deepening realizing he was now inserting his toxic drug that will make me lose my senses and fully give into my guilty appetite that he will fulfill on these empty sheets.

"You are more beautiful and the most beautiful than any woman I have been with...This neck of yours' holds your strength...this helps you continue to walk with your head held high because you are pure and never sinned...From this neck slips your beautiful, charming voice...your enticing giggles that make me go crazy...You are a beauty..." He hissed as he traced his fingers across my neck before beginning to rub them gently into the red shade of paint that I had colored myself with.

My heart now skipping many beats realizing how it was being ravaged in such a subtle, yet dangerous way by a complete stranger who now had embraced it. Waves of chills falling into my hallow navel as I began to feel a throbbing sensation rise itself from its roots before down into my secret treasures.

"D-don't spoil me with your words...you are spoiling me..." I spoke before kissing his cheek softly as he weaved threads of solace around my soul that for once was finding content in his arms never found elsewhere.

A breathy chuckle escaping from Shivaay's lips as he leaned in closer burning the edges of my shoulder with his touch that was criminal, but yet a boon.

"I only speak the truth baby...only the truth. No woman has dared to touch this cold, toxic, and ugly filthy...heart of mine the way you have...you deserve the praise...you deserve to be the center of my attention...you deserve to have your pleasures fulfilled by me...Now keep the silence and only say my name...Let the silence savor your senses...tempt your needs...and satiate your hunger..." His low, husky voice shutting down as he looked down at me appearing to observe the shades of red that now were coloring and rushing through me making me look like a solid red tomato ready to burst.

Suddenly sight of an unfamiliar flesh appeared in front of me as his hands lifted his shirt and threw it on the ground exposing his bare, toned chest. My eyes shooting up immediately catching his smirk which widened upon catching me burning in pure red.

His palms gracing against my cheeks forcing me to look into his eyes that smoked with pure dirty, ego full of filth and lustrous thirst that was dipping and skipping itself from the demons he held dearingly within him.

"Sometimes I pity you that you have been deprived of all the pleasure that you deserve...That Ayaan did you wrong...But, I guess I deserved this gem...Gems are only made for me and only I claim them..." His eyes trailing down to my lips that were now trembling in thirst for the bitter, narcotic taste he had to offer.

"G-gems?...T-then there a-are other women who w-were gems to you too?" I questioned finding myself worthless amongst them considering I probably am a dull rock to the opulent, glistening ones that he likely endeared.

Shivaay letting out a small laugh as he wrapped his hand on the back of my head forcing me to look into his eyes that now were lusting over me wanting to end our conversation and already dive into seas of passion in which we will stay for hours.

"He thought that coals were gems...he thought coals were gems, but the day the true noor walked in... gliding with strength in her subtle silence...gracing the waves of purity...embracing innocence untouched by darkness...He knew that he sinned and wronged the grace of beauty by calling those coals gems...He learned the true gem and its worth the moment he saw it...Now he has learned his lesson and hopes and prays to always keep this gem...to not allow fate to let this gem escape him..." His lines skidding and ripping the sheer barricades of my heart only to expose exposed my wounds that trembled and begged to be healed.

Tears slipping down my cheeks with my wounds laying themselves down and surrendering to him realizing he was going to heal them...that now they were finally going to be healed. My hands shaking as I forced them to touch his bare heart that laid beating in this moment only for me...a heart that now was treasuring my essence.

"Shivaay...I must have done some good deeds...that fate has given you to me. The way you cherish me...lay your praises on wounds that are not seen, but lay within me...the way you make me feel the need to live...I...I c-cannot imagine w-what am I going to do...once you leave...I d-don't even w-want to t-think a-about it, but...o-once t-this w-wedding ends a-and w-we g-go back to o-our l-lives...y-you will l-leave me...and I...I don't know h-how am I g-going to l-live...b-because I...I w-was giving up Shivaay...I w-was g-giving up...a-and I was g-going to c-crash in t-this w-wedding until I...I m-met you...a-and n-now if I t-think of y-you l-leaving...I don't know what I am going to do...A-and it's wrong right?...I-It's w-wrong to f-feel t-this w-way considering I don't know you for t-too long...but it f-feels like I know you f-forever...a-and I...I will m-miss you perhaps w-when y-you l-leave m-me..." My voice breaking down as tears soaked my soul that realized this was all momentary...that the high it was about to peak upon was going to meet its death at one point.

His lips gently taking a hold of mine pushing and sucking upon them slowly wanting to jade each and every bare, ugly taste I had to offer. His hands dragging against my tears roughly wiping them away as he began to press himself gently against me. Our lips slowing down the moment while he took hold of each dull flavor finding blunts of rhapsody in them. My lips weakening, continuing to gravitate with my tongue slipping into his mouth to swallow his venom...Somewhere the idea of being with a dangerous, yet a fulfilling man like him turns the meters of my heart.

Our kisses loosening for breaths, but only colliding and hitting with sparks of passion which ran through the corners of our lips...fondled into our hearts...before throbbing down the edges of our waists that wanted to unite in this very moment.

His lips letting go of mine as he leaned closer once more wanting to pour his peaks upon me in this very instant, but knowing that my innocence was at stake.

"I am never leaving you...You are now mine. Only mine now. Don't ever fear that I will leave you...because I will not. I don't want to mislead you and say I want to pursue a relationship because I don't do commitment Anika...but I can be with you until the moment you will decide to let go of me. I will not leave you, but you can if you want to...whenever you want to. But I promise this Shivaay...is only yours'...only yours'..." His voice dying away as we hit a silence with the day slowly ending above us...indicating that this was the moment when lovers' unite at the peak of the evening and at the hills of the night...yet we are not lovers'....we are not in love...and we perhaps will never be in love.

His words weaving promises into my heart that found them as an illusion, but wanted to believe in them...to believe that they held some truth...that somewhere he will not leave me...that he too will not use me and walk away like the others that have done such...that he too will not dip his hands into me before walking away once his hunger will satiate.

Tears slipping down my cheeks realizing how he may just leave me despite these promises knowing that men cannot be trusted upon, but my heart is telling a different story. My heart is telling me that he will not leave me...but why am I scared of him leaving me because I don't love him...I am not his partner...I am not his wife...but why is that the idea of him leaving me scares me? I barely know him, but then I feel like I have known him since forever. It's uncanny, but I have this connection with him.

"Shivaay...I...I want to believe you, but I...I am scared of believing...I have believed one man before who made many promises...made me believe in a useless fantasy...a fantasy that he will never leave me and he will build a family and a home with me which he never did...He never did...a-and...it sucks because I built that dream and I lived that dream for many years...thinking that one day I will be his wife...that he will be my husband...that we will live a simple, normal life, but...but that dream broke Shivaay...He left me. H-he c-cheated on me f-for a year...with m-my s-sister. In t-that y-year w-we g-got officially e-engaged...We h-had our w-wedding d-date s-set and w-we h-had even decided a venue...a-and d-do you know what t-that venue was?" I paused not able to speak more feeling the ground beneath me recoiling in disgust not wanting to hold me finding me as a filth the way others do. The way he does. The way my sister does.

A sudden force wrapping its shawl of solace around me as I felt his arms pull me into the grace of his heart that wished to take my tears and make them its own. His lips burying into my neck as he began to lay subtle, tender kisses slowly and gently realizing that I just want someone to hold me...to listen to me...and to make me feel loved even for a moment...a moment in which I will feel loved despite knowing that it is a façade.

"T-the v-venue f-for Ayaan and m-my w-wedding was....Jaipur...it w-was t-this...this h-haveli...t-this w-was o-our w-wedding that...that n-now is A-Arti and A-Ayaan's wedding...Shivaay...this was s-supposed to be m-my w-wedding...t-this w-was supposed to be the b-beginning of m-my n-new l-life...a l-life t-that w-would f-finally be freed from the s-shackles of my parents...freed from b-being forced to live i-in t-those s-same four walls that c-confined m-my hopes...my dreams...I f-found t-the possibility of m-marrying Ayaan as a-an e-escape...and I...I truly loved him Shivaay...I...I l-loved A-Ayaan a-and he l-left me...Shivaay...I...I h-had one thing...o-one hope...t-that was m-my love and he killed it Shivaay...He killed n-not only our love, but also me... A-Ayaan and A-Arti buried me into the g-graveyard with their l-love...d-depriving m-me of my life...now f-forcing me live in this flesh without a soul...a soul that now l-lives within me, b-but doesn't want to live...doesn't desire...doesn't hope...doesn't dream. I a-am not m-myself anymore...I-I h-have forgotten how to live...how to b-breathe...h-how to l-laugh...I...I just w-want an escape...I just w-want a m-moment of p-peace...Shivaay...j-just give me t-this moment...p-please c-can w-we j-just s-stop t-talking...s-stop p-pondering...a-and just...just m-make love...a h-hallow love of course...but it is okay...I...I just need this moment s-so can we just?....P-please..." My words stuttering barely keeping them straight as suddenly tears now fell from the reckoned wounds that were savagely slit and cut by my own blood and cremated by own love....

His fingers slipping through my bare back as he began to rub it to dig into its tension and grasp on to its burdens...wanting to make it his, but not knowing how to.

"Anika...I...I d-don't want you to regret this...You...you have cherished your honor for so many years...how can I just....just claim it?...I want to claim you, but somewhere it doesn't feel right...I want to make love to you, but I feel this is an important moment in your life...I don't want to steal it away knowing that I...I cannot give you a commitment...a relationship...and love..." His voice softening lifting for a moment from his filthy desires that commanded him moments before...That human, gentle, respectful side of him appearing to crack through his heart.

No. I will not regret this. I want this now. The moment I will drop the veil of my virginity is the moment I will be freed from the values and norms that have shackled me for a lifetime. My virginity is my family's honor and that is what I will burn first. I will burn this virginity and claim my freedom...I am a barren. I am not a woman according to my family...Why should I continue to confine myself and obey to these viceful and sinful norms and rules that society has formed to confine women like me and force us to strangle our hopes and dreams only for the sake of being symbols of someone else's honor and pride? No. I am going to burn my virginity. Yes, I will burn this virginity and then claim my life.

Pressing my trembling lips against the warmth of his heart, I laid a tender kiss. "S-Shivaay...I want you to burn my virginity. I want you to take it and burn it...because this is the shackle that I need to free myself from. Once my virginity leaves me and buries itself...will I be able to live my life and finally escape...so help me burn my virginity..."

I forced my soul to speak which couldn't as it was shackled with malicious lies of how virginity symbolizes honor and how I have to cherish it for the honor of my family. I am no one's honor. I am a human being...who hopes, dreams, and desires...I am a human being who has a right to live with her will...I am a human being who has a right to live...

"A-Anika....what are you saying?" His voice getting louder appearing to shake me back to reality not able to believe what I had just spoken...not able to believe that I see this moment as my reckoning in which I will begin my path to living for myself.

I want this. I need this. I have always wanted pleasure and I have had these needs and desires for a long time. How long will I continue to cherish my virginity for some man who never will come to my life? Never. Love is an illusion that will always break...it will always shatter...it will never live. Love will always be buried in the grave and never become eternal...Never.

I know I am never going to commit to another man now. I don't believe in marriage anymore. I don't believe in the concept of relationships. I don't give a damn about being someone's wife or lover. It's over. I will never believe in these illusions again. Never.

Taking a deep breath, I slipped out of Shivaay's grasp before wiping my tears and letting them dry knowing that now I am not going to shed a bloody tear over anyone. That in this moment, I am going to claim my freedom by freeing myself from this burden that forces me to be imprisoned in dark realms where I am forced to be an ornament...a symbol for someone else...where I am objectified ...where I am given a value according to those who judge my character and my honor...No more. This Anika is not going to live according to others anymore. I will burn my virginity...Yes, this is what I will do.

https://youtu.be/-wc1tiPGKqM

My hands instantly taking a firm grasp of my sleeves as I lifted my arms out of it unveiling my honor. The dress slipping down as I sat still showing the demon what he lusted over knowing it would be enough to convince him.

"Anika...don't do this...This is wrong Anika. What you are saying is wrong..." Shivaay's voice trembling wanting to grasp on to reasoning, but finding that wicked apparition within him now dancing on his soul pressuring him...tempting him...pursuing him to go on and take a hit of me...a hit of the flavors I kept treasured within me...flavors only he could taste...consume...and savor upon...flavors no man has touched before.

His eyes glazing over each and every layer of bare skin that was now getting exposed...layers where he can hungrily grasp upon and feed upon his appetite...layers that now were slowly being revealed as my dress continued to slip down...

A smirk touching my lips as I bit them before leaning my head to the side looking towards him seductively. He appeared to gulp with his tongue rolling along his lips that were like a dry desert which wanted a drink very soon...as his eyes traced over my flaws...flaws that I hated and revulsed over, but those he found as supple virgin fruits he could suck upon to get mercy.

A giggle escaping from my lips as I leaned in closer keeping a bare distance between our lips. Tension falling between us as we were at the edge of taking hold and diving into the sheets of lust we were both sitting upon.

"N-nothing is wrong Shivaay...We humans make these rules of what is right...what is wrong...we label and give names to relationships...we only feed upon others miseries by creating these rules and norms because somewhere seeing others in misery is what gives us a high...But baby, these is nothing wrong with what we are doing...This is normal...this is natural...Look, I am here waiting for you patiently wanting you to lead and I to follow...I am waiting for you to unknot the delicate folds I have...folds no one has touched...or seen...I am waiting for you to burn my virginity, so we can go on many trysts together...I want you...I need you...I want you to show me what my beauty is...Don't you remember my dare? I dared you to show my beauty and look here you are sitting and not doing anything...I guess you were just bluffing...right? I guess you don't have it in you to claim a virgin..." I spoke with an edge of seduction slowly reeling him one by one as I bit my lip knowing that was his weak point.

His blue hues embracing an ugly, disfigured demon whose ego I had wounded knowing that is what would incite him to claim me...put a stake on virginity...and burn it down to the grave.

In an instant, his hands took a firm hold of my waist pulling me into his clutches as my smirk widened knowing that I had manipulated him.

"What did you say? I don't have it in me to claim you?...Well baby, don't manipulate me. I know exactly what you are doing right now...You want to wound my ego, so I can give you what you want. You want me, so you can escape from these shackles. Once your virginity is gone, you will feel there is no need to stay in those shackles you have been chained with all your life. I understand you well and I can read you easily..." His voice holding a sense of rage that appeared to crawl up into him borne from the sinful beings he was nourishing within him at the moment.

Fear suppling out of my heart seeing his shades changing with that dark being now lurking within him and coming out on its hunt...a hunt for the one who had dared to play with its mind. I shouldn't have done this...I shouldn't. I shouldn't have dared to play with his mind...it's wrong and selfish of me to do such...Guilt dropping into me and wrapping itself around me beginning to taunt me how I had sinned by manipulating him to get a filthy pill from him that would unshackle my virginity.

"S-Shivaay...I..."

"Damn it...I love it. I love this side of yours'...A shy, innocent, naïve Anika...who nurtures these guilty, shameless, dirty desires...Oh I love it...I love this shade...baby I love it..." And shutting his low, husky voice he grabbed the back of my head and crashed his lips against mine.

His lips diving into the sacredness of mine as he began to cadence his body against me. In an instant, I replied taking a firm grasp of his lips and increasing the momentum of our lips realizing how much I just want him to take me in and already make me his knowing he is my escape...knowing the only way I can escape from everything and everyone is by taking Shivaay's hand and giving him what he needs so he will stay.

Our lips continuing to entwine barely letting us breathe as they began to batter and bruise each other liking the small battle for power. My lips biting onto his while he continued to suck upon mine wanting to continue to taste the lipstick that was melting away under the fieriness of his mouth.

Tracing my hands down his chest...I felt the two firm rails besides his heart knowing that they were now pulsing vigorously wanting its owner to dive into my secrets and claim me in this instant. A smile touching my lips as I trailed my nails against his chest wanting to engrave my essence over it ensuring he would remember me after our rendezvous.

"What are you doing?" He hissed not pleased by what I had done. A giggle escaping from my lips as I began to rub his shoulder gently trying to break his fragile anger he had formed from my act.

"These marks will remind you of the woman you got today...The way you mark me...is how I will mark you..." My voice dimming as I grabbed his neck roughly before sinking my taste into him to insert a part of me inside of him ...putting my claim on him that from now on he will only be mine.

A groan escaping from his lips with his hand slipping through the back of unzipped dress that now was on the verge of collapsing and falling off. His fingers digging into my back finding himself on the verge of unleashing that lewd beast within him that was begging him to in this instant take my ripe virgin fruit.

"I...I promise to never leave you Anika...I promise...I am not like that bastard who left you. You are a gem that only I will keep now. Do you understand?...Do you understand that from today and onwards, you are only Shivaay Singh Oberoi's...Only mine..." He whispered pressing me gently against him making me shudder as I felt the heat of skin merging into mine and flowing down my unbloomed flower which was begging for his touch.

A shy smile touching my lips as I continued to sink my teeth and take a piece of him before laying a tender kiss to heal the wound.

"I want to be yours'...I want to only be Shivaay Singh Oberoi's...B-but...first...you have to claim me...You have to make me forget that bastard and make me worship you...don't you want my devoted attention...only towards you and no other man...?" I continued to wave the lascivious despite my inner being screaming not wanting to indulge in these acts knowing that such would burn its treasures down that it had cherished for long...treasures of values and honor that I myself lovingly kept at one time, but not anymore.

"I love this shade of yours'...It's rare to have a woman seduce you like this...Seduce me Anika...seduce me..." His voice having a command as he pushed me back lightly revealing a wicked smile.

A blank drawing in my mind not knowing what to say or even do. My heart bolting with firm hits against my chest upon finding his eyes traveling all over my body trying to plan how he would make love to me.

"Um...I...I...don't know..." My fingers clasping together as I found chills running through my bare back that now was exposed through the unzipped dress which continued to fall down.

An impish laugh escaping from him as he collapsed on the pillows behind him before licking his lips finding himself losing patience as the brute within him was pushing him to already begin the tryst.

"Acha ji? Well...what about those sly, manipulating words and lines you just spoke?...Wasn't that seduction?" His words putting me silence as I took a deep breath knowing that I did try to lure him in with my play on words.

Fidgeting with my fingers, I slowly lifted myself to him before collapsing against his chest. His hands wrapping around my waist as he captured my eyes finding himself intrigued by their dullness. His blue hues showing his thirst for taking a drink of me as they continued to stray and look at my secrets that were being unveiled by the dress which continued dropping low.

Heaving, I felt thrill, but also fear that I may fail in this seduction...I don't even know how to seduce in this manner. But, I kind of want to. I want to seduce and see what I am capable of. Tracing my hair to the side, I began to trace my palm down his chest before rubbing it and dipping it against his heart finding him pursing his lips appearing tempted by my innocent touch.

My trembling lips taking a hold of the skin that surfaced his heart as they began to kiss it tenderly. His hand wrapping into my hair as he took a deep breath finding himself allured. A smile touching my lips as I began to slowly drift my lips down his skin and kiss each and every dip... increasing my pace to ravish on his lethal taste before...collapsing and glutting the edges of his navel finding my hands tracing his waist which was shamelessly intriguing me with the idea of what he was going to offer.

In a repetitive cycle, I continued to kiss each and every layer of his muscles with my knees pressing against his. His lips burying into my neck as he began to respond with kisses layering up to my heartbeats and down to my shoulder making a small moan lift itself out of me.

My lips escaping his skin as I immediately looked towards him finding him completely consumed with shades of red from the paint with my lipstick smothering his cheeks. He was colored with each and every piece of me. His fingers tracing against my lips which opened to allow him to touch the inner pink flesh of it.

"Fine...you win. Let's just end this and...make love...I don't have the patience anymore..." He hissed as a shy smile touched my lips with my gaze lowering realizing what he was about to do.

His lips lunging hungrily upon mine as we began to quickly increase the movement of our lips that began to propel and shift wanting to gain control, but failing. His fingers wrapping into the waves of my hair as he pressed his lips more firmly before slipping his tongue and locking me into his grasp...thirsting and licking each corner and fold of mine as if he never had tasted it before. A moan erupting from me as I let go struggling to breathe realizing how he had winded me.

Shivaay now completely drugged as he took hold of my cheeks and began to lay tender, bare, passionate kisses upon them before fetishizing over the red paint that sweltered my cheeks.

Rough, rugged hands collapsing against my dress as he dragged them against its silk cloth finding himself craving the mysteries that were locked beneath within me. A gasp erupting from me as my hands trailed onto the ground below me while I laid at the end of the bed staring up at the ceiling finding myself lost in complete euphoria not able to bear how I was being admired...how a man was laying love upon my flaws wanting to have each and every part of it...

His body pressing gently against mine further lifting an unusual arousal within me consumed with pleasure slewing into my waist and letting the folds of my secrets to beat vigorously...a virgin feeling not encountered before...a feeling simmering in delight stimulating a peculiar tightness within me.

My teeth sinking into my lip not able to come in terms with that peculiar feeling he was able to strike within me in a few minutes of feverish kissing we both had indulged in. His body lifting and climbing slowly above me before he dropped low and hit the peaks.

Another gasp escaping from my lips as I immediately pulled him into an embrace wrapping my arms around him not able to bear how innocently he was able to touch the creases of my virginity igniting a red-hot river to run down my waist wanting to escape.

"Do...you...want me to stop?" Shivaay's voice breathless barely able to hold on to a deep penetrating arousal he had found by merely gracing himself against me.

My body trembling not able to bear how it was being lavished upon with such an intense, ravaging and savaging hunger by a man who found some worth in it that no one has since ever...since ever I even took a breath of life...A sense of excitement...pride...and pure exhilaration thriving within me upon realization that I too hold value...a cherishable value by another man...

A faint smile touching my lips as I wrapped my arms tightly around his back pulling him closer to only whiff that strong, wretched cologne of his which began to intoxicate me with brutal fantasies of how he will do many things to me that he still hasn't done yet.

"N-no...continue...give me the escape...make me f-forget..." My voice cracking into a whisper wanting to ensure that no object in this room was to even hear about my dirty desire that I had formed from the filth of my heart.

With my lips shuddering, I closed my eyes shut not able to imagine what he will do to me, but desiring him to give me a moment of devotion.

His hand lifting my hair to the side before brushing his lips gently against my ear exposing his warmth of pleasure that now was torturing him wanting him to expose me to it.

"I can... give you... the escape...but slowly Anika...slowly and steadily...matters like these are enjoyed...the most...when desires...are...delighted and satiated tenderly...a high of the....drug of pleasure...is enjoyed the most...when its acts in a cruel, yet...gradual way...easing you in...pacing you gently..." Shivaay's voice low and husky enough to hit the tempo as my heart beats crashed and peaked with an unusual crushing wave of liquid ecstasy lifting out of my flesh pooling down into that secret flower that wanted to blossom.

My nails immediately dragging themselves down his back begging him to guide me knowing these were not the lanes I have walked upon before.

A smile appearing to reach his lips realizing that he was now in control and I was enjoying it...enjoying his dominance...finding it as a saving force. He glided his damp tongue down my cheek before sucking on the dried paint making me lightly moan not able to bear his heated, wicked seduction.

"N-no...d-don't do this to me...I...I w-want this...M-make l-love to me...n-now..." My voice barely coming out.

A dangerous crave boring itself from his tender touches and kisses that rained down on the barren deserts of my soul. A crave that now was begging him to light its flame, so he could thrust his lust into me.

He slowly lifted himself up looking down at my dress that now was barely clinging to me which I was begging him to remove realizing how in this moment I wanted him badly...how I want him to make love to me now...how I wanted his drug that would help me enter that momentary ecstasy where...where I will get a hit of pleasure and a kick of lust that will be enough for me to live...knowing that I too was admired once...I too was loved for a moment.

My eyes falling to his blue jeans that he wore as I lifted myself gently from the pillow finding my body beginning to shake knowing that what I was about to do was wrong...against each and every rule and norm I was breeded to follow...

No Anika. Go on...go on now. You have to bury your virginity...and you have to do everything to do such...Go and live...Go and fulfill each and every pure and dirty desire of yours'. Go on.

Silence falling into our room as darkness began to scatter above us indicating the sun was setting now and night was soon to follow where the knots of my virgin rose will be undone, so it could only be cut and meet its death.

Lifting my finger, I took a weak hold of his button as his chest flexed in an instant feeling the heat of my fingers that were burning with deep desire to have him. My hand standing still as I kept a hold of it realizing what I was about to do.

"Anika..." His voice drawing me out as I looked up meeting his gaze which appeared to embrace me...letting me know it was okay...that I was safe...to do such.

Biting my quivering lips, I looked at him revealing my tears that were now begging him to take me in...to make me feel wanted...to make me feel loved for moment...my soul falling down upon its knees finding itself surrender to him and now raising its hands in front of him to give it the boon it needs to live...

https://youtu.be/Iw7H5J0rNZ8

"P-please Shivaay...j-just make me feel wanted...for a m-moment...Just make me y-yours'...e-even if it is for a m-moment..." A bare whisper escaping from my lips as I felt tears streaming down my cheeks knowing that now I was finally surrendering...that now I was going to either fall or glide...that either this moment was going to crash or enter pure ecstasy in which I would reach a level of peace that I have never felt before.

Then it happened, his hand slipped around mine guiding it through the end of his button and letting it open. A sudden rush of heat escaping from my feet and up to my waist letting petals to only fall which now begged to be freed.

My back collapsing against the pillow as a faint smile touched my lips with my heart finding calm knowing what was about to happen to it...how it was going to be stripped of its wounds...stripped of its worship for those it ones loved...and how now it was going to be born again...born to live for itself and its owner...born to live for the man who would give it benevolence...Shivaay.

"Anika...are you sure? This moment will be painful for you...A part of you is going to leave you when we...we...make love..." He spoke as he let his clothes drop on to the ground revealing that bare flesh that was going to free me of my honor and make me human once again.

My gaze lowering finding crumbs of shyness scatter down my heart with rose petals escaping the rims of my folds finding temptation in what I had just seen.

"Shivaay...if one is going to be born again then it will be painful to undo one's flesh and put on a new one in which they will live and breathe a new life...I...I see this moment as the beginning of me living for myself...When you will make love...that is when I will know that from now on Anika will live for her needs, desires, and wants...I want to make love to you because...because I truly desire and lust upon this thought...I want to be made love to...and I choose you to be my first because you deserve it...You earned it..." A coy smile touching my lips as I let my heart sing its tunes for him...tunes that now it was just forming and giving a rhyme to, but wanting to continue to sing it no matter how ugly it sounded...because this tune is only for him.

A soft smile touching Shivaay's lips as he began to lift the covers towards us to cover our innocence, so only we can revere it. He began to lean down above me capturing my eyes that were now waiting patiently to see what he would do next.

A part of my soul screaming that I should stop as this is wrong and yet another part applauding me and telling me to go on and live for myself for once.

"Anika...I promise I will try to not hurt you...But let me know if you want to stop and I will...Do you understand? If in any moment you find discomfort or you just don't want to continue tell me...or clench my hand tightly...scream... do something at least...I will try my best to not hurt you and make this the least painful...but still voice yourself..." He spoke loudly to ensure I would hear each and every word, so we could add clarity to this moment.

My smile widening as his words slid into the burrows of my heart and consoled the bundles of fear and worry over what may happen. Lifting my palm, I clasped it against his cheek and rubbed it lightly before brushing a kiss upon it.

"I trust you Shivaay that you will not hurt me. I would not have brought us to this moment if I didn't trust that you would protect me..." My lips gently taking hold of his as he slightly smiled against my lips before replying it with tenderness.

My lips sliding slowly into his as I rubbed them gently back and forth appreciating his bitter taste so I will always remember him as my first. His lips following me as we slowed the pace and continued to adore each gentle and light brush of our lips that became one.

Our innocent kiss a rarity compared to others, but it was enough to seal an untold promise between us...A promise that we will never hurt each other and after this moment continue to be together because our souls will be one...if they are one then we do not need threads or strings to define what name our relationship is.

"I will do everything to ensure you find moments of pleasure...solace...and...even love..." He spoke the last word softly as my gaze lifted up meeting his not able to comprehend why he said the last term.

"We cannot love each other the way love is defined between strangers, but...love between two human beings can be defined as comfort, care, and peace that one gives to the other...and I can give you this type of love in this moment..." His voice trembling finding himself revulsed upon even saying the term, but yet still saying it to calm my heart that was scared of what was to come.

A veil of demure placing itself upon me as I smiled finding his lines endearing in this moment...his lines somehow weaving threads into my heart that was never introduced to this type of love before...this innocent yet pure love between two human beings.

"T-then...you c-can s-show me this type of love..." I whispered timidly as I traced my hand across my dress slowly beginning to pull it down knowing what I was supposed to do.

His hand taking hold of mine in an instant stopping me. My hand beginning to shake under his grasp as now I was coming to terms with the fact that he will touch my innocence in a few moments after...

"Let me help you...let me show you your beauty and you can say my name over and over again..." Shivaay's smirk widening before looking back towards me with playful eyes. My feet curling up into the end of the bed feeling a feeble warmth touch my petals that wanted to wither away from the ends of my navel.

A giggle escaping from my lips as I clasped my hand on my cheeks wanting to hide the redness they carried at the moment not only from the paint, but from the color Shivaay was now filling into my heart which was beginning to beat in his name.

"Shivaay..." I spoke carrying a hint of seduction as he lifted himself above me and entwined his legs into mine making them flinch upon encountering the bare, rugged touch of his legs that now moved up and down my knees attempting to ease me in. Blood rushing up to my cheeks before plunging into my waist to help my flower bloom.

His lips taking a soft hold of my neck as he began to suck upon it finding himself intrigued by it as he began to increase his rhythm pressing his body up and down against mine further arousing the folds of my flower that wanted to open for him. Pulling him into an embrace, I began to lay fluttering, brushful kisses on his shoulder not knowing how I could appease him or give him the pleasure that he too had a right to have.

"You are beautiful Anika...You are wanted...You are loved...and you are only mine now...No one can take you away from me...You are safe with me..." He began to repeat as he continued to lay compassionate kisses upon my neck wanting to cover each and every bare skin.

His fingers soon trailing down by neck before hitting the dip of my heart making me gasp upon the spark of flame that began to wither and dab into the curves of my chest. His fingers dabbing and soaking the damp paint that lingered in the edges of my heart before they began to tug on the fabric that covered it.

"Shivaay...I...I want to be yours'..." I whispered as I looked into his eyes that immediately met mine finding themselves attracted to the need I confessed.

"I know...and I want to be yours'..." He spoke with a smile touching his lips as he began to gently slip the fabric down the petals of my chest letting a trail of liquid warmth glide down my navel where the dress continued to drop.

His eyes bewitching mine as he held me in his gaze while he continued to slide the dress down revealing my flaws...my features...one by one...moment by moment. A coolness touching me with my hands clasping against my bare chest finding shyness touch me now knowing that I was a bare soul in front of him who he can touch...fondle...tantalize.

We laid in silence as he paused for a moment knowing I needed to ease into this considering this was my first time. A cool sheet lifting itself up as he placed the covers above us pulling it across my chest and covering my secrets.

"Your beauty is your shyness...and also those small breaks of boldness you sometimes show..." Shivaay spoke as a chuckle escaped from him before he began to kiss my rosy cheeks that continued to redden remembering how I had seduced him moments ago. My hands wrapping around his wrists as he continued to lay rough, brisk kisses all over my cheeks before removing the paint off of it with his tongue that continued to descend and drink its bane .

His hunger appearing to increase as he began to increase his pace devouring each and every bit of my neck finding himself intrigued by it as he rolled his tongue against it finding new flavors in its drabness.

In an instant, his lips began to glide down as my eyes widened with my chest beginning to robustly move up and down realizing that he now was proceeding to touch the precious secrets I kept wrapped for many years. His head lowering as his lips descended to the peaks of bare flesh where he took a grasp of the two rose petals that were now blooming responding to his lips that molded and sucked upon them...introducing me to sweet spots that I myself never knew I had.

A gasp slipping from me as I immediately grasped on to the pillow behind me with my thighs clenching tightly together between his manhood that traced its edges against me finding itself aroused by the sweetness of the rose petals he continued to relish and zest trying to strip their virginity and make it his.

His hand trailing to mine and entwining it into his as I continued to clench the pillow finding my skin now burning and firing hits of lust that were making me swelter. A sudden warm liquid escaping from my flower and flowing down my thigh to only touch him. My cheeks firing different shades realizing what I just did.

His lips letting go of the delicate petals realizing that somehow I was welcoming the moment. A whimper escaping from me with pure humiliation as I avoided his intense gaze that looked down upon me.

"It's okay baby...this is normal...huh?" He spoke gently trying to comfort my embarrassment as he traced his fingers against strands of hair from my cheeks pulling them away.

"Are you fine? I...I can stop..." He whispered as I pulled him into an embrace burying my lips into his chest and began to lay subtle, delicate kisses wanting in my own way to satisfy his appetite. My hands beginning to rub his back gently pulling him closer as I clasped my lips against his collarbone delighting upon his hard, rugged taste. A groan escaping from his lips as I hit his spot where his kicks of pleasure came from.

I felt the edges of his manhood hardening as I whimpered immediately realizing I was having an effect upon him in my own coyish way that was nothing compared to the bold, rough edges of ardor he lays upon me.

"I...I don't want you...to s-stop...j-just h-hold me and I-I will be fine hm?" I spoke softly as Shivaay nodded before slipping out of my grasp and taking a sudden firm hold of my waist making a shriek escape from me.

His head beginning to lower as he began to press and lay kisses and bites on the feathers of my heart before gliding his tongue down my midriff. My waist clenching as I began to feel more smooth liquid warmth escaping from my flower that now was dousing itself with it.

He began slowly...knowing this was new...cherishing the fact that he was the first to see my secrets...His tongue laced the corners and edges of my midriff molding it with the heat of his mouth that began to seep through my heart's wounds which began to recoil realizing that they were being healed and now loved.

He began to lay subtle, brushes of his lips before he began to increase his pace finding his hunger growling that now was beginning to reach its breaking point...wanting to immediately fulfill his longing for me. His lips plundering the curves of my waist repeatedly circling upon it with his tongue enjoying the arid flavor of it. His lips thrilling in delight upon encountering the damp paint on my waist finding himself heavily intoxicated with its bitterness.

My waist continuing to clench as I attempted to submerge into the bed not able to tolerate how he was now raining on the barren desert within me that wanted to be drenched by him only...My hand wrapping into his hair taking a rough hold of it wanting him to continue as I felt waves of pearls dropping within me while teasing me and taunting me as I begged them to let go of me though I enjoyed the reveling, heavy sensation of liquid that continued to batter itself within me.

His hands suddenly falling down to my thighs making me gasp once again with my hands grabbing to the edge of the canopy's curtain as I realized what was happening. My eyes widening as I arched my back up finding his lips trace down the burdens of my waist before hitting and savoring the petals of my flower.

"Shivaay....oh my gosh..." My voice coming out as heavy breaths as I attempted to breathe, but failing finding myself blanking out not able to bear how his lips were burning upon the petals making them wither so they could bloom and allow him to enter.

Trails of liquid warm rose petals now simmering out of me which his tongue rolled upon and took in as his hands began to rub my hips before clawing to my thighs that suddenly flinched finding his heated hands unbearable...my hips not obliging as he continued to push and rub upon them knowing I needed help.

"Shivaay...just make love...p-please...." I whimpered while clenching on to the curtains tightly rubbing them into my palms not wanting to let go. He began to pop the bitter pills of ecstasy into me which now were torturing me as I felt mounds of pleasure boiling within me.

His lips lifting up as he realized what was happening to me knowing that he was succeeding in inserting the syringes of paradise into me that now were now completely consuming me.

"I...I will...we have to go slow..." He spoke appearing breathless before he dipped into the petals and lightly brushed upon them nurturing them with his palms and kissing their stems before increasing his pace and quenching that jug of thirst within him that he had formed towards me.

"You are beautiful...these curves of yours make me...go crazy...these curves make me lust on you..." His voice holding dark seduction as his tongue roughly blew down to my petals before sailing up my waist.

His voices...his words all dimming upon me as I found my soul entering the seas of pleasure finding itself drowning into raging, lustrous waves while crashing into the depths of savage, lascivious sensuality that was embracing me.

Blue hues meeting mine revealing that they were not fully drugged with his wicked demons that he had unfortunately now introduced into me. His hand entangling into my waves as he attempted to bring me back to reality.

"Anika...I want to ask one last time...do you want me to make love to you? I don't want you to regret or find shame or guilt after this...After this we still are not going to be committed...we still are not going to enter a relationship...We will stay as no strings attached...I will not leave you, but I cannot...commit...Do you understand Anika?" He questioned with his voice hitting a loud tempo ensuring it would echo through my ears.

Love is an illusion. Fools fall in love. Love is an illusion. Only jesters fall in love. Love is an illusion. That only is meant to be broken.

Love making is normal. Love making is natural. Everyone breaks the stem of their flower and I will too...I was just looking for the man who deserved this flower and that is Shivaay...he is loving, protective, supportive...that is enough for me. I will give him my flower.

My mind putting simple sentences yet boldly outlining to me what I was supposed to do and that this path was right.

My shaky hand clasping against his cheek as I took a hold of it before kissing the corner of his lip. "Y-yes...I understand...W-we don't need a n-name to define our relationship or b-bond...I am f-fine with you just k-keeping me in your life...but please...don't walk away after this...promise me...you will stay after we make love...and that y-you will continue to respect me and cherish me...p-promise me you won't be like him who broke me..."

Tears slipping down my cheeks finding that wound on my heart pierce me reminding me of how Ayaan walked on me...how he cut the threads of our love in an instant...how he dared to make love to my sister after leaving me.

His palms tracing to my cheeks as he took hold of my tears and began to swallow them with his lips kissing each and every one wanting to replace it with his compassion.

"I promise that I will continue to respect you and cherish you even after we make love...I will lay here with you and will always lay with you...I promise to never be that bastard who made you like this...I promise to breathe life into you...You are going to now be mine Anika...Only Shivaay's..." His words weaving traces of a scared promise that he was now vowing to me...a promise only found when two lovers unite into sacred vows of marriage. However, here we are two strangers who are now wanting and desiring to continue a nameless relationship knowing only we can make each other feel human.

His hand lifting to the drawer next to the bed as he lifted out a small band of protection reflecting that soon we would be making love. My heart skipping beats hitting a loud tempo before sinking then soon rising once again with eagerness...excitement...anticipation...yet fear...fear of how it would feel...fear that perhaps I may not get the high that I want as an escape...perhaps this drug of devotion may not work upon me and I may not be able to fulfill my craving of being wanted...loved.

"Let me know if you ever want me to stop...I am being clear Anika. Let me know," He spoke sternly as my heart slightly softened finding it at ease knowing that the man who was about to unknot me truly was a good man who even in this moment in which his demons are hungrily growling, still is keeping patience and assuring that I am safe.

His palms wrapping around my neck as he pulled me into a kiss. His lips holding a gentle, subtle pace while I suddenly had an eruption of hunger and greed within me to want to move this moment quickly...wanting more roughness...wanting him to be dangerous and make this crazy, wild...My lips taking a bite of his before I began to feverishly pounce against his lips beginning to push and press taking sips of his venom finding myself enthralling upon it.

"A-Anika...we should...slow...down...for your...sake..." He spoke in between kisses as I shook my head and dug my fingers into his back wanting to rub into that demon that I was falling for...wanting his raging, thrilling side that somehow titillated and sparked the creases of euphoria within me.

"N-no...I want you...to be rough...I want you to be w-wild...take me on a high...a good high that...is pleasurable...please..." I spoke begging him to oblige as Shivaay sighed letting go of my lips while I dragged my hand to his neck beginning to rub it.

"Anika...let's be slow first...I don't want to hurt you...then we will see..." He said with a faint smile as he kissed the edge of my forehead before tracing his hands carefully down my waist making it quiver.

"Anika...you are now mine..." He spoke with his voice darkening, but holding brims of truth as his hands traced down my thighs that creased up finding his warmth merging with liquid petals still slipping out of me that were for him to savor.

I smiled weakly as I clenched on to the curtain of the canopy pulling it into my grasp realizing what was about to happen...preparing the weak threads of my heart to tighten themselves and bumble vigorously.

"Shivaay...you are now mine also..." I replied softly as suddenly silence hit me.

A hard, warm touch simmering into the petals of my flower before bulging into the folds of my flesh letting it tremble...letting it close shut as a gasp stole itself from me with my spine lifting up immediately not able to bear sudden rush of blood that now was painfully going down my navel and into the creases of my flower that was withering, but drenching itself with pure riddles of pain and puddles of pleasure.

Time pausing as suddenly his hands grabbed a hold of my hips pulling me closer as my hands wrapped into the edges of the curtain. He entered and he stopped realizing that somewhere I had entered a moment of shock...complete utter shockwaves scaling down to my heart making it rumble before falling on to sheer layers of the folds of my flesh that found fear, yet excitement in encountering an exotic, tender flesh that was giving it a painful, but soothing solace.

And then he began to layer into the frozen stems of my flower that did not allow him to enter. He pushed himself gently against me pressing his body against mine firmly letting his bare tones brushing subtly, yet delicately against me. My hands dragging to the end of the bedsheet as I clenched it tightly with pain slowly crawling into me before erupting into a scorching, broiling flame.

A shriek escaping from me as Shivaay immediately pulled me into an embrace realizing that indeed I had suffered a small wound. "Anika...I can stop...hm?" He whispered against my neck as I shook my head.

"N-no...continue..." I spoke as I lightly smiled pressing my lips against his cheek admiring him for how he was continuing to worry about my state.

Our bodies slowly moving in a rhythm finding themselves merging...molding...becoming one through a path of thorns that laid pain for me, but continued to bring me slowly to a peak with tight seas of pleasure flowing down my navel finding him continuing to tempt...tease...and liven the creases of my soul that now was finding itself unleashing honor...pride...values and baring itself now indecently...wanting and screaming for more...telling me to increase the pace and fulfill its pruning hunger.

Suddenly, the stem broke as a savage thorn pierced into my folds...the stem breaking and withering letting my honor collapse as well...my shackles loosening and slipping slowly off my soul letting it breathe...the virgin rose in an instant, meeting its brutal death.

My heart shattering, crushing, bumbling, before rising and hitting loud beats that were falling and dropping before picking up as suddenly the wounds upon it were now dying away with sheer rivers of pleasure that now were beginning to flow into me due to the one who saved me.

A scream erupting from me as he tightened his grasp on my hips pulling me closer realizing that in this moment I needed him the most. My hands wavering before pulling on the curtains roughly making layers of white and red chiffon fall and drown upon our bodies that continued mold bringing our souls closer...our strange unfamiliar souls that were finding each other intriguing...enchanting...and pure...

"You will be fine...I am here for you..." Shivaay whispered before kissing my forehead as I grabbed on to the end of the pillow finding the curtains suffocating that had layered the both of us.

Beats dropping. Breaths leaving. Kisses falling...Suddenly we both entered a pure phase of ecstasy with rushes of rivers...burning of fires...and smoke of lust erupting from our souls that suddenly began to entwine and collapse upon one another. Cadences of our bodies suddenly increasing as I joined following a harmony that we both created with our unity.

His lips clasping on to mine hungrily wanting to hold them which clumsingly slipped away with my mind now fully intoxicated finding myself now slowly rising on a high that he was now dousing me with...begging me to give him a taste of me that I had secretly woven within me for years...a pure taste only for him.

"Shivaay...I...I like you a lot...you...a-are...m-my escape...I...love everything...about you..." My heart letting the confession escape as my eyes widened realizing what just had kicked itself out of me.

Shivaay immediately meeting his eyes as he continued to unknot me...unknot the tight threads that were woven within me from birth which no one had dared to touch until now...His eyes going still hearing what I had just spoken finding himself flustered as his face reddened.

We stopped for a moment as we both heaved finding ourselves breathless realizing how somehow we were winding down, but still we craving for more pills that would allow him to continue to cut the stems of my roses and collect them for him to treasure.

"Anika...you are my blessing..." He spoke as my heart skipped a sudden beat hearing the simple words that spoke the tunes of his heart which he was stringing for me.

A weak smile touching my lips as I found the evening sun fall and skim through the curtains which wrapped our bare tones.

"B-blessing?...me?" My voice cracking remembering the moments when I have been cursed for my flaws...cursed of being a barren...cursed for being the reason why my love fell apart. Tears tracing my cheeks as his lips took hold of them and he began to once again lay tender kisses upon them making them blaze red.

"Baby...you are a blessing to me...you are the most beautiful woman I have made love to...completely stunning...ravishing...You are a noor..." His voice clasping into breaths as he ran his fingers gently through my hair to help me relax.

"I...I don't know what...to say..." I whispered feeling speechless upon sheer appreciation he was laying upon me while continuing to bear my innocence that he was continuing to break with patience.

"Just say that from now on you...will forget that bastard you loved once...and only...only think and speak about me...from now on my...name should be on that heart of yours'...That is what I want..." His voice dropping a tone as his eyes hazed with an expectation that I would oblige to his command.

"T-then....m-make me...f-forget him...in t-this moment...m-make l-love in a way...that I...forget him and only speak and think...about you...." A smile touching my lips realizing that already in this moment Shivaay has engraved his name into the roots of my heart...in this moment Ayaan seems like an illusive figure of the past...seemingly all memories of him appear to now be burying themselves in the grave...as now this heart appears to embrace Shivaay.

However, I want more from him. I still have an appetite and I want him to fulfill it.

A smirk appearing across Shivaay's lips as he dragged my hands to the pillow before entwining his into them. "I will do anything...to ensure you forget him...and only remember me..."He hissed as I smiled before latching my lips into his pulling him into my hold.

Suddenly, pain hit me mixed with bitter pleasure as he began to increase the rhythms of our bodies...slowing before hitting peaks...crashing before falling...he began a toxic, yet the most exhilarating cycle that put me on many highs. Gasps and moans lifting and enriching my soul with seas that were now slowly beginning to submerge my flower. The virgin flower's petals withering and finding its light in the corners and rims of his flesh that continued to thrust wanting to kill each and every piece of me that had that betrayer's name on it.

My nails scratching and falling across his back making groans escape from him realizing he was now beginning to enjoy and relish the virgin fruit that he was slowly breaking to have its purest taste that was nurtured for twenty-three years of my life.

His hands dragging down my waist pressing into it wanting to help me get rid of the petals that were falling from the roses I kept...as I struggled knowing that somewhere my soul didn't want to let go of pieces of honor and values I had cherished once in my life, but my heart was now blistering them...and savagely slitting each and every memory of that man.

A peak soon lifting the petals of my flower.

"A-Anika....say my name...I want o-only to hear my name...from those beautiful lips of yours'..." His voice breathless, but hitting a loud tempo as he glided his tongue down my throat tugging on it and pressuring it to say my name.

"S-Shivaay..." My voice whimpering letting his name escape once again as my hands clenched to the pillows behind me.

His hands taking a tight hold of mine as his lips began to take each and every corner of my cheeks beginning to bite and grab now savagely consumed with raging hunger within him of wanting each and every untouched part of me that no one has taken a hit of besides him.

And then pleasure hit me...The drug of ecstasy popping into my navel falling down my waist and hitting that flower that now was brutally falling apart begging me to not let go...telling me this was wrong...and yet my heart began to scream and roar lifting me up making me arch as suddenly warm, soft, smooth milky liquid began to move down my flower drenching it and wrenching it finally burning it....

A gasp erupting with a sudden moan consuming me as I felt him now rhythm his way through finding his hands loosening from my hips knowing that now this was a moment to only lavish and savor the pure virgin flavors that now were falling and escaping from me.

My eyes widening as a smile touched my lips with my feet hitting the end of the bed as my soul bursted...the flowers flew...and pure crashing highs and lows of euphoric passion hit my heart that began to light itself on fire with flames of red and burning ashes now falling down on my soul forcing it unlayer the honor...the pride...the sacred virginity that no longer was sacred...that now was fully dying and meeting its end.

Memories of taunts...laughter...and rageful screams from my past erupting within me as my smile widened before I grabbed Shivaay's neck forcing him to look into my eyes wanting to bring him back for a moment from the illusive carnal blunts that were making him enter layers of hallucinations.

"Shivaay....You...are my savior....you....oh my gosh...I want to say I love you, but then you will take it...the wrong way..." A breathy laugh escaping from my lips as Shivaay's blue hues met mine revealing that dark, demon that now was on a complete lustful ride which it didn't want to get off of.

"Say it baby...I won't...take it the wrong way..." He hissed grabbing the ends of my hair entangling it into his and pulling me closer before taking a taste of my neck and biting his name into it.

My smirk widening as I arched my back allowing him to continue the waves of pleasure that were now rumbling from him wanting him to peak and unleash the seas of boons that will heal the wounds of my heart and give a new life to my soul.

"Today...you...have helped me...kill that one beast...within me...t-that...d-didn't...a-allow me to l-live for m-myself...t-this v-virgin f-flower needed to be killed...and y-you d-did it....You are my s-savior...and I...love...you...for this...and always...will..." I spoke with seduction wanting to raise the heat within him so he could continue to wither my flowers and giving me the pleasure that I have had a deep craving for many years which that man failed to give.

Shivaay letting out a low laugh loving the admiration he was getting relishing his ego with it considering the narcissist he likely is and breeds within himself. My words nourishing his energy...lifting that lunatic phantom within him as suddenly forces and hits began to increase forcing petals to leave and escape each and every moment that we continued to dive in the satin of sin.

"Aren't you a....narcissist Shivaay?...Hm?...Y-you like the a-attention...You l-like to be...better and the best...than other men...right?" I whispered against his neck before rolling my tongue and kissing it wanting to light him up, so he could take me on a trip.

He heaved finding my words more alluring as he grabbed the nape of neck looking into my eyes and revealing his truth.

"You...are the first....to get me...and I love you for that...now say my name...only my name...I don't even want...that man's...name on your lips from...now on...after what I have given you...I deserve that mark...on your heart..." His voice holding a command as my smile widened liking his dominance...realizing how much I loved this dangerous side of his.

"W-whatever you say...I will follow...but first give me what you have...to offer...so I will only remember you..." I demanded before clawing my nails against his lips.

Crashing his lips into mine, he began to roughen our kiss diving straight into the mysteries of my mouth liking the lights and powders of zestful virginity it offered which now was breathing itself out of me. Our lips merging and letting go as our bodies pressed with our souls now fully kindling and entwining...and breathing...and living as one...

Suddenly, peaks hit as I felt seas of liquid drenching and wrapping around my flower that belonged to treasures he held.

Realizing his protection had fallen apart, Shivaay's eyes widened realizing what had happened. His hands letting go of mine and about to leave as I grabbed his neck pulling him down forcing him to stay.

"A-Anika...shit...damn it....what is wrong with you?...I have to stop..." He spoke as I smiled feeling tears escape from my eyes feeling my hallow womb that held thorns which no one could enter and lay their blessing into me.

"I-It's f-fine...we are okay...I...I'm barren Shivaay...I c-cannot have kids..." My voice cracking as I felt tears escape my eyes feeling that empty feeling falling down into my womb that could not nourish or birth an innocent life...

Shivaay's eyes widening as he held a halt with a sense of shock touching him not able to believe what he heard. A faint smile touching my lips as I lowered my gaze finding a sense of embarrassment over my confession knowing this was not how I wanted to tell him...or likely anyone.

https://youtu.be/Bg1RU7F24dw

"A-Ayaan left me b-because...I...I cannot have kids...ever. H-he cheated on me...and then...he left the moment...he found out...that I cannot have kids...t-that's why...I am isolated...from everyone...because...e-everyone t-thinks...t-that...I...I am a curse...a h-hex...w-which is why...I am b-barren..." Tears now latching on to my cheeks as I threw my head against the pillow not able to bear the truth myself feeling my seedless womb could never be filled with blessings...never.

"Anika...n-no...no...d-don't cry...I...I know this is tough...but having children or not does...not define who you are...and that low life left...you because of this and the fact...he cheated on you...He n-never was worthy of your love...Anika...don't ever t-think of yourself as a curse...this is fate...only fate...E-everything will be fine...You are a good, kind, pure soul...and you are strong...and amazing...and I love this about you...I love everything about you...and now let me make love to you..." His words strengthening my soul that was resurrecting now realizing that its essence can never be defined by a flaw or feature as it too is human.

"Y-you don't care...if I am barren?" I questioned with curiosity as a weak smile appeared across his lips before he kissed my temple lovingly.

"No...and it's not because...we are not committed...even if we were in a relationship...of commitment...I still wouldn't have cared...because you matter to me...I like you for who you are...this is fate Anika and it's best to embrace it...You are amazing Anika...You are beautiful...stunning to be honest...and so...naïve...always focused on others who you love and how you can fulfill you duty as a daughter or sister despite how horribly you may be treated...You are every man's ideal woman...If I ever...want to fall in love then it likely will be you who I will choose to love..." His words simmering and submerging into my heart that suddenly skipped a beat upon hearing his confession.

My cheeks turning red as I shyly smiled not knowing why...not able to tell what was making me suddenly leave my rebellious side that was lusting to giving into that shy, timid Anika that once loved....My heart beats erratically increasing and crashing finding myself falling for...him...Shivaay.

Confusion hitting me as my eyes began to graze his features finding divine heaven in his blue hues that encased my reflection appearing to admire me...His quivering, swollen lips suddenly appearing more attractive as they began to say sweet nothings for me while he began to unite with my soul letting it know for a moment that is was loved...a soul that now was begging for his love...wanting it forever.

A sense of shame touching me realizing what I was thinking at the moment and how wrong it was, but yet I was still thinking about it. His lips taking hold of my tears tracing their pearls wanting to let me know that I was safe in this moment...that it was fine to cry in his presence.

Lust vanquishing with that uncanny, feeling now falling above us showering me with powders of bliss that began to drop on my heart which now was burying my love for Ayaan in the grave and now finding its barren desert of love being rained upon by Shivaay...

My head burying into his neck as I began to kiss his beating heart which I wished would encase me in it forever. A smile touching my lips as I continued to kiss the edges of his shoulder and back to his neck wanting him to be mine...knowing he is mine now...but what if forever he can be mine?

Suddenly his peak hit making my eyes close wanting to feel each and every part of him that would touch my innocence...kiss it...and embrace it letting it know that it is wanted...it is loved. Rushes of lust and seas of pleasure now slowly began to flow out of his soul and enter me...letting a new flower bloom and blossom within me that now found itself interlocking and entwining with his flesh that was the stem to this flower.

A moan escaping from me as suddenly hits of love began to throb and burn into me with his rivers flying and crashing upon my heart killing my love for a cheater and setting the roots of love for a true man...a man that cared for me...that cherished me...and despite having demons, still forced himself to be kind to me...Shivaay.

"Shivaay..." His name now singing out of me as hymns over and over again while he continued to unknot my virgin threads and replace them with his threads of love that I was begging to not have, but finding myself relishing in their presence.

Evening falling...sun crashing as darkness swept and fell upon us...The moon's light collapsing and seeping through the edges of our moment wanting to light it up and bless us....be a witness to our unity the way it does to lovers. He continued to pace and I continued to rise...we continued to drench the sheets below us with his lusting hunger and my blooming love...I shouldn't be in love...Love is an illusion. Fools fall in love...and yet here I am being a fool that I know I shouldn't be.

His arms lifting over mine as captured my lips hungrily grabbing on to them...sucking on their swelling...diving in the laces of broken lipstick and paint before coloring himself red and finding a bitter drug from them...a drug that was a part of him that now I was consuming wanting to make him an eternal part of me.

He continued to hold me and make love gently and slowly...increasing a pace...but to only halt to not want to give me the laces of pain that continued to rise within me, but were becoming inebriated with traces of exhilaration...thrill...and pure sensuality that was erupting and making lakes...seas...oceans of flowers that swiveled within me.

"Shivaay...set me free...just make love...I only want you to make love to me..." I heaved as I felt his lips tracing the gentle curves of my midriff with his heated fingers that made it quiver.

Biting my lip, I held a whimper finding his lips molding on the mosaics of my waist as he continuing to lift the paint...rub it off gently...sinking his tender, passionate kisses upon the skin before leaving a bite to mark the spot as his. His hands entwining into mine as my waist continued to deepen it ground wanted to escape his brazen kisses, but failing as it found itself mesmerized by his touch that was giving love to it in a brushful way.

"I...will always...make love...to you...only..." He spoke between breaths as he dived into me hitting me a sudden rush of elation filled that roused out of him and entered into me.

Gasps, moans, whimpers all consuming me as I closed my eyes shut feeling his river crush my virginity and put the final stone in its death. My hand grabbing on to his tightly not able to bear the pure love and filthy lust that now broke from the threads of his heart which were only singing and beating their tunes upon my name.

The feeling unusual...foreign...as I felt pieces of him pierce the folds of my petals before collapsing and touching my soul...pieces of him molding into my soul and becoming a part of it...marking it as his...marking me at his...and making him as mine. Our souls colliding as if they were looking for each other for years...The moment uncanny as I felt as if I had been begging for this union since years...it felt as if the past was repeating and I couldn't touch upon what was giving me this feeling.

"I am only yours now Shivaay...I don't know for how long...but I am yours'..." I whispered trying to catch my breath as Shivaay grabbed on to my cheeks zesting on their taste.

"As long as you want...I will be yours'...Anika..." He spoke loudly wanting to ensure I would break from my moment of intoxication and hear him. A smile touching my lips as I looked into his eyes that held the value of his promise indicating that indeed he will always be with me whenever I need him.

His lips intertwining into mine as we continued to press and fold them against one another finding them escape as we continued to wrench ourselves wanting to continue to stay like this...as one despite knowing we were now about to soon collapse.

And his seas collided with mine...unleashing them letting them savagely fall upon the flowers ready to root them out and let them fall for the one that was to take their virgin taste. A tight feeling letting loose...a part of me escaping knowing that it was no longer needed. And for one last time, I took a breath before letting it go and grabbing on to his lips wanting to devour them and give him my flavors, that he loved, knowing how much he saved me today.

His hands dragging down my hips as rose petals for him began to fall revealing their pure taste which they had lovingly kept for the man who would claim them forever. My lips holding on to his as he continued to taste them wanting to devour them and give me gravity that was slipping out of me.

His lips gliding down my neck and down the petals of my chest that intrigued him as he continued to let their roots come by kissing them endearingly in complete circles wanting their pure taste that no one else had...Soon...he glided down to my flower that now was withering as he began to taste and savor the petals...zesting the ripe virgin fruits they gave...while feeding the petals that fell for him to have and cherish...petals that were a symbol of my gratitude to him...my gratitude that he saved me...he gave me the escape...he unshackled that one thing that was holding me back from finding freedom...this virginity is what my family has lauded over and forced me to live in the four walls of my house...but now as I have burned this virginity, I have burned my family's false honor that forced me to bear their injustices...I lived for once for my own needs and pleasure and now I will live for myself.

He continued to taste and consume the petals while I continued to tell him to make love to me over and over again wanting him to continue this toxic cycle that I loved to get a hit of to help me forget my miseries and take a grasp of hallucinations in which I was to be loved by a man for a moment.

Is Shivaay my forever?...Is he my one and only?...I don't know.

Is my virginity burning and cremating? Yes. Am I feeling happy? The most.

"Baby...we should stop...now...hm? I...don't want to hurt you..." Shivaay spoke as he lifted himself above me unburdening himself from me and allowing me to breathe for a moment.

Our chests moving up and down colliding with one another as our heartbeats began to fall in sync ...our heartbeats appearing to merge into one holding pieces of withered roses we both had given to one another while we endearingly had made love.

My gaze lowering feeling a veil of demure fall over me not wanting to meet his eyes knowing how he had unknotted me and touched each and every part of me that no man had ever seen nor dared to lay a finger upon. His swollen lips pressing gently against mine that were now trembling finding themselves battered as he had worked for hours to ensure I felt loved for a moment.

Night had appeared to fallen as the room grew dark with Shivaay lighting up a small lamp before looking towards me. His hands gently lifting the curtains of the canopy that had fallen above us from my moment of fear as he dragged the covers and placed it above me wanting to cover my bare tones that were once my adored secrets.

"Anika...I hope I didn't hurt you..." He whispered once again as he buried his lips into my neck tenderly kissing them trying to heal the bites he had left in a moment of hunger.

Pulling him into an embrace, I brushed my fingers into his waves. "No...I am fine. It's doesn't hurt too much...and thank you...thank you for being so caring and gentle...Very few women have their firsts who are like you..." I spoke timidly continuing to lightly shake and feeling shy even though he now had seen everything.

Shivaay's smile widening as he turned on his back pulling me into his heart before pulling the covers above our heads allowing us to bury in its warmth.

"W-what are you doing?" I questioned giggling nervously.

Shivaay smiling as he brushed my cheek with a kiss. "Hiding from everyone...right now it's only you and me under these covers..." He spoke in a low and husky voice as he trailed his fingers against my bare waist making me flinch while I began to giggle.

"What cruel intentions do you have?" I questioned alluringly, realizing that my appetite had not been fulfilled and instead had grown and bulged wanting more of his taste.

A smirk touching him as he kissed my forehead and pulled me into a tight hug. "Many...I have many cruel intentions and fantasies...that I think we both will fulfill...if you want to of course..."

My cheeks reddening not knowing how to reply to his statement despite being quite enticed by his fantasies...wanting to be part of them with him and doing sin again and again... "I will if you make me part of them..." I whispered as Shivaay's eyes widened quite caught off guard from statement.

"Really? You want to be part of these escapes and adventures?" He questioned as I kissed his heart to let him know my answer.

"I will be part of every adventure...Despite the differences we have or carry...I will be part of each and every moment with you in which you want me to be besides you..." I spoke surprising myself as the words skipped out of my heart that was now completely mesmerized by Shivaay's presence.

"Anika...I hope you don't regret...continuing to only find lust in these adventures..." He noted with a fear in his voice realizing that how he had taken my virginity despite both of us not being committed to one another and how he and I will continue to have such trysts.

What is commitment? What are relationships? We as a society give names to them and try to justify them, but why justify a relationship of two souls? Why do we have to define relationships that carry love and voice against relationships that only carry lust? It is human to feel love and lust. It is human to feel such way.

But you know what is not human? The way we made love today seemed so normal and natural...It felt as if he and I were just reuniting...as we have made love many times before and each time we have only strengthened our relationship.

"No...I will not regret. I want to be with you...I cannot love you, but I cannot...leave you. I feel this connection with you that I have never felt with any other man...The moment I saw you, there was something about you that captured me. I don't know what...I feel like we have known each other more than just three days...I feel like fate has somehow reunited us...as if we were separated...The way you made love to me...it felt as we have made love many times before these...Do you understand what I am saying?" I questioned finding myself perplexed with the thought, but still thinking why I was feeling this way towards him...It feels like...he is my mate that destiny has always chosen for me.

In this moment I don't know what I feel for Shivaay and I don't want to know. It would be wrong of me to say that I only gave my virginity to Shivaay, so I can burn it to feel unshackled and that I gave my virginity because of only lust...these are reasons that I had, but in the moment when he was giving me a piece of his heart...I found my heart beating for him...Right now I want to lay in his arms forever...I want him to hold me like this each and every night...Right now, I am admiring him as a person...admiring his maturity, sensibility, kindness...Right now I am regretting to have ever loved Ayaan because I feel if I had met Shivaay first, I would've fallen in love with him...In this moment, my memories with Ayaan seem as an illusion and something that is now dead...my love for Ayaan is now dead. But...now I am feeling something for Shivaay and I find my heart quickening its beats and engraving his reflection upon it...and I want to stop it, but I cannot.

Shivaay softly smiling as he wrapped me with the sheets comforting my bare skin before laying me on the same pillow as his. His hand entwining to mine as he wrapped it around my waist.

"Well...I want to make you a part of each adventure...and I want you besides me not only in these secret rooms, but out in the world...I cannot commit to you Anika...but I still want to keep you....And I feel the same way you do. It feels as if we have lived through this moment many times...It feels as if I have known you since forever...even though we have just met...It feels like we hit a pause and resumed...I don't know...it feels uncanny, but the way you complete me in my thoughts, words, and how you read me so fast...no one has done that ever Anika. No one..." He sighed trying to clear his mind, but failing knowing that he and I both were having a sense of déjà vu trying to remember when we could've met, but still failing.

We laid in silence letting the night fall upon us as I felt sleep slowly overcoming me. Shivaay smiled as he wrapped his arm around me offering his chest as a pillow for me to sleep upon.

"Anika..." He spoke once again gently trying to take me out of my sleep that now was running into me.

Lifting my gaze up I met his eyes that now were encasing me in a flame and seeing me in a different shade of light...appearing to give me a place somewhere within his heart. His hand taking hold of mine once again as he laid it on his heart.

"I admire you Anika...I admire everything about you...Your childishness...Your clumsy nature...Your carelessness...yet your maturity... I admire how you walk with your head held high no matter what you face. I admire how you understand me and respect my thoughts and words...I admire the fact how you make me feel human...Anika...I cannot say I love you the way lovers do...but I can say I love you the way two...souls that find themselves...as one...do say...so I love you Anika...I love you for being the good soul you are...and I am not saying I love you as a lover, but saying I love you because I respect, I care, and I want to be with you because...I need you...do you understand what I am saying?" He questioned as I laid still finding myself stunned by his admission and quite lost.

I love you. Indeed, the three simple words are reserved for lovers...but what about two people who don't know how to love, but still love to be in each other's presence. I guess he loves me as a friend or as a human being and that is fine. I am fine hearing this "I love you" from him because we can never be lovers...We both don't believe in love or commitment.

"I understand...you love me as a friend or human being...and I am fine with that. It's best we keep this simple with no love or commitment....It's best we keep each other because we like each other's company...need each other to feel safe...and to feel cared for..." I smiled as Shivaay sighed before brushing his lips against mine.

"Thank you for understanding...and...I really admire and adore you Anika...truly, I am blessed to have found you..." He noted as I giggled finding myself giddy from his remarks before leaning into his lips.

"Now...I want you to make love to me again...I want only you because now only you live in this heart..." I whispered blowing heat against his lips which quivered and trembled under my touch.

Shivaay turning a wicked smile as he lifted me up and grabbed a hold of my head forcing my eyes to capture his. "Then let's make love...all night...till morning..." His smirk widening as now many fantasies were running through him imagining what we could do.

My cheeks reddening finding myself overwhelmed with the amount of attention that he was giving to me and how he was doing everything to fulfill my desires. He let out a small chuckle before pulling my shy smile into his lips and beginning to slowly unknot me once again...dipping me into lust...soaking me with pleasure...while continuing to make me feel loved...He continued his gentle pace while I continued to increase it...We followed a harmony that we ourselves made.

Gentle kisses. Tender brushes. Passionate flames....Indeed, the night can be defined in these three simple words. Night embraced us and appeared to pause as we continued to unknot and touch each other's virgin secrets...we continued to make love not once hesitating...not once halting...we fulfilled our gorging savage appetites while finding ourselves brushing the edges of love that we both may be falling into...but not wanting to embrace it.

.....

https://youtu.be/EXgqIXq8PKg

Preview of Chapter 8: (Read to see that unusual reduxed connection between LTLHA and "Our Forbidden Love"-This is like the panditji prediction chapter in LTLHA) Yes this is the same Shivika from LTLHA who do not remember their past. I will comment more on this once finishing LTLHA.

His hand entwining into Anika's as she shyly smiled while they continued to walk down the desert path leading down the streets of Goa where they escaped for Ayaan and Arti's bachelor and bachelorette parties. A giggle escaping from Anika as she held a bubbling Ira who continued to babble at her wanting her attention only.

Shivaay sighing in frustration like a child wanting the woman next to her to appreciate his presence, but failing to get it as she continued to babble and coo at Ira finding her as the center of her world.

"This was supposed to be date night for the both of us and here you agreed to take Ira. Nothing would have happened to Ira if Athiya cared for her for a moment," Shivaay argued while Anika began to laugh realizing how he was craving for her at the moment, but couldn't have her due to his daughter.

"Uff...the struggles men have...right Ira?" Anika noted to Ira as she shrieked hitting her hand against Shivaay's cheek. Anika's eyes widening as she suppressed a smile while Shivaay's eyes widened completely appalled by how his daughter dared to slap him in such innocence.

"Ira...what are you doing? I am your Papa!" He exclaimed looking into her eyes as Ira gave him a grin failing to realize her small mistake.

"That is what you get for trying to keep Ira away from all the fun!" Anika exclaimed sticking out her tongue at him while Ira looked at her and then did the same to Shivaay.

Shivaay's mouth gaping open completely shocked by how Ira was beginning to uncanningly resemble Anika copying each and every move of hers ever since they landed in Goa.

"Anika! You are spoiling my daughter with this childish behavior!" Shivaay scolded her as Anika threw him a glare before looking at Ira shaking her head.

"This Papa of yours' is so boring right? He cannot even take your cute behavior joyfully. A complete boring and dull character..." Anika remarked nonchalantly as Ira nodded immediately before wrapping her arms around her.

"Boring? Me? You didn't say that last night..." Shivaay's voice turning to pure seduction as Anka's eyes shot back towards him immediately finding herself changing shades to red.

Her hands clasping against Ira's ears as she tried to stop her from hearing their conversations. "Have some shame. Your daughter is right here!"

Shivaay's smirk widening as he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her into his heart. "I don't think she can understand jaanam," He whispered while Anika bit into a smile before looking towards him.

"Stop misbehaving or I will teach you a lesson... a good one tonight," Anika cloaked her double meaning around him further enticing him as Shivaay began to chew upon his lips.

They continued to walk finding themselves enticed by one another begging for the date to end so they could resume their duties in Shivaay's bedroom. Shivaay's hand tugging on Anika's as they walked in silence.

"I really wanted a red saree, but no you annoyed me to a point that we had to leave the shop," Anika spoke bitterly as she shook a whimpering Ira back and forth who wanted to sleep. Anika had figured Shivaay liked seeing her in a red shade, so she wanted to find that exact color, but no they ended up having another meaningless argument.

"I like it when you are annoyed...it does many things to me," Shivaay remarked wittingly as Anika rolled her eyes though finding excitement in his words.

Their footsteps halting along the way as Anika spotted an elderly man begging near the alley leading to the restaurant.

"Shivaay...we should give him some money. I feel bad for him as he is quite elder and look our Ira will get a blessing from him as well," Anika noted grabbing Shivaay's arm and dragging him towards the beggar.

The beggar having an eerie calm to him as he sat in silence not speaking a word, but knowing each and every bit of the past that the two forlorn lovers were bringing with themselves as they walked towards him.

Shivaay sighing as he took out his wallet and handing off a hefty bill to the beggar who sat still. His eyes lifting up revealing dark red shades with light glimmering throw them indicating he was a man of the past and present.

"Bah! Bah!" Ira exclaiming loudly as Anika giggled looking back towards a man selling an array of colorful bangles.

"You want bangles? My cutie Ira wants to wear bangles!...Shivaay, I am going over there okay?" Anika walked away finding herself amused by the array of bangles being sold.

Shivaay shaking his head finding himself annoyed, yet adoring the childishness Anika carried that was bringing some glee and moments of joy to Ira who has been submerged into lull since her birth until she met Anika.

"This is for you," Shivaay spoke softly and gently as he moved the bill towards the beggar who didn't move once observing Shivaay's each and every movement.

"Ever feel like you know her from before?" The beggar's voice rumbling creepingly as he grabbed on Shivaay's wrist tightly.

Shivay flinching slightly finding a chill going through him as he looked at the beggar finding a different shade in him that was not of innocence.

"W-what? Who?" Shivaay questioned keeping a stern voice trying to not show that the beggar had affected him.

The beggar's smile widening as he lifted his eyes, that held a light in them, to Shivaay. "Anika...ever feel you know her from before? You both met a few days ago, but feel as if you both know and understand each other from before...from a past, but you both cannot remember..."

Shivaay's body going cold not able to grasp upon how he knew so much about his life.

"Chaaya is your younger brother Rudra's daughter who died a few months ago. Bhavya was Chaaya's mother who died the moment Chaaya was born. You are now Chaaya's father and have always been her father for many lifetimes...and so has Anika..." The beggar's voice shaking as he looked at Anika who continued to play with Ira and lavishing her with her love for her...a mother's love that she was now nurturing.

Shivaay standing still as his hand slipped away from the beggar's grasp not able to conceive what he was saying. "C-Chaaya?"

The beggar's smile widening as he looked at him. "Ira as you call her, but her full name is Chaaya Ira Singh Oberoi. Anika has always been her mother...look at Anika and look at Ira. The moment Ira saw her at the airport, she immediately latched on to her mother Anika finding her remnant memories of her pulling her towards Anika. Ira was silent for many months searching for her mother...her true mother who has nurtured her for many lives...and that mother is your soulmate Anika. Ira has always been her daughter for many past lives and you have always been the father...You three are in each lifetime. The cycle repeats...you both fall in love, then fall apart, then reunite and then grow old and die...The cycle repeats toxically..."

Shivaay began to shake as his hands began to tremble breaking from his demonic commands and for once finding a haunting shiver pile against his arms not knowing what to say or react. Somewhere he was finding truth in his words.

"Ever feel like you both continued your relationship now from a previous pause you both hit? Well both of your love hits a pause when you both die at old age...and then it resumes again. You both are the soulmates that never separate...You are the man who always seeds her barren womb. You are the one who seeds her barren heart with love. You will always be the one to save her...You both know each other and speak each other's thoughts and words because you both are one soul just in two bodies. Both of your souls united ages ago and they cannot separate...Fate always will keep you two together..." The beggar continued as he softly smiled placing his hand on Shivaay's head giving him a blessing.

"H-how do you know so much? Who are you? How do you know about the three of us?" Shivaay's voice wavering as he looked at the beggar trying to read him and find where he came from.

"Don't question the past...You both have lived and died many lives, but with rightful deaths seen at old ripe ages...It's just that both of you will always struggle uniting, but that struggle ends once you two fall in love again. This time you will sin again like you have done many times and you will wrong her again like you have done many times...When you will wrong her is the moment you will fall in love with her and then you will sin and claim her as your own...You will take sacred vows with her...give her the honor of your wife, but it will take time for her to accept you like always. She is the one who gives you a soul and pulls you out of your darkness...She loves you. She always selflessly loves you and she always allows you to father her children because she always vows to you...You always take her love for granted and when she leaves is when you change... In this moment, she loves you and you don't know. Her love is selfless that always binds you both together and keeps you both as soulmates in each lifetime..."

"She has loved before..." Shivaay replied finding his heart drop realizing Anika has loved another man.

"That was not love. She never loved Ayaan...she is young and doesn't know true love, but now she is forming it and she has it for you...She will now walk a brutal path where she will give up everything for you...In this lifetime, she is different...She will rebel and break all her boundaries to have you and to only be with you... and you will take her, but sin...You will wrong her and then claim her as your wife...You will seed her womb allowing her to give birth to three children...The cycle will repeat...But it's alright fate is like such...you both will reunite and die old like always...Now I shall go...."

"Shivaay! I need some money to buy the bangles because as usual, I don't have change!" Anika ordered Shivaay as he looked back towards her.

"Yeah I am coming!" Shivaay called out before looking back to only find the beggar had vanished like thin air.

.....

Friendly Clarification: Yes, I do repeat words and lines and I do it on purpose to emphasize certain traits and events or to run a poetic line and I am so sorry I never cleared this up with anyone, so yes I am sorry.

Author's Mature Content Writing Style: I do my best to reduce mentioning of explicit content and write lovemaking scenes in symbols and metaphors which is what I have done in this chapter as well where there is one lovemaking scene. I guess some perhaps may have wanted more stronger language, so I deeply apologize if you did not like this chapter.

So you have to read closely to understand what is happening if you want to as I am doing word play in this chapter where explicit words are muted by inexplicit symbolic words.

Also, some readers may find this chapter vulgar and please let me know and I will cut and censor scenes, so if you want some scenes to be cut or censored then please do comment below or message me and I will for sure cut and censor scenes.

Author's Take on Anika Losing Her Virginity:

I think this chapter will bring different feedback and I will be glad to get all forms of feedback because indeed the fact that Anika lost her virginity to Shivaay who is still a stranger is mind boggling and insane in my opinion and yet I am the writer who wrote this because believe it or not, but such things do happen in real life and I as a writer like to write what is seen and observed in society, but not talked about or conversed about.

Anika's scene of losing her virginity actually has a deeper meaning and if you wish then please do read her inner thoughts and her perspective on society and her family in this chapter. This Anika is a rebellious version of Anika found in LTLHA as this Anika doesn't believe in honor, values, and pride because she has been broken and hurt by her family, so now she wants to live for herself and it is natural for her to nurture desires of wanting to make love with another man and it is natural for her to feel this way. The loss of her virginity does not only mean she will continue to now make love, but it means she now has forsaken the shackles of society that have told her to live in a certain way.

Anika and Shivaay's Lovemaking Scene:

Okay, so this scene is different from the one in LTLHA Chapter 37 that I posted and I know it as well. This scene is different because this is not about two lovers reuniting, but two strangers making love and Anika is a virgin in this scene. Now, I wanted to focus on Anika losing her virginity because it was a big deal to her which she easily let go due to her desire to free herself from certain ideologies. So, I could have overdramatized this scene or underdramatized it and I wanted to keep it real and natural, but I am not sure if I did justice to that and I am sorry if I didn't. I tried and went through many multiple edits, but at the end this is what I wrote and idk how people will feel and if you did not like it then please let me know as well. At this point I honestly cannot even change it, so what so written is written and I just wrote what came to my mind so sorry :(

This is the first time I have begun writing mature content and so I don't know what readers like or do not like and I try my best to adjust to readers' demands. And so since readers wanted more mature content in this story compared to LTLHA as this story is focused on flings, I decided to make the lovemaking scene longer and focus on Anika losing her virginity and going into uncharted territory, but we will see how this goes and I am so sorry if I disappointed anyone.

Shivika's intimate scenes will be more focused on them later in the chapters :)

LTLHA and "Our Forbidden Love" Connection: Okay if you haven't read LTLHA then that is fine and you can read this story as stand alone :). "Our Forbidden Love" is like a redux version of LTLHA and to be honest if you find similarities between the lovemaking scenes and dialogues and some upcoming scenes in both of the stories then that was done on purpose. Describing certain scenes and feelings were done on purpose because OFL is a redux version of LTLHA :)

Thank you for reading and if you liked this chapter then if you wish then please do vote, comment, and share :)

Ciao!

-Jasmine

Chapter 8 Preview: Yes this is the same Shivika from LTLHA who do not remember their past. I will comment more on this once finishing LTLHA. I get people are probably worried about how LTLHA will end seeing now there is a connection between LTLHA and this story, but I was clear that "Our Forbidden Love" is a redux of LTLHA and at this time I will just see how readers react to this preview. But, do not worry LTLHA is going to get a beautiful ending with Shivika, Chaaya, and the twins! :) Will it get an alternative end for OFL?-Idk to be honest. But, I think the preview shows that the toxic, chaotic relationship Shivika share in LTLHA continues here in this story and the same Shivika in LTLHA lives and breathes in this story OFL and Anika is just this time more rebellious....and Shivaay is an odd character who is highly unstable in his moods seen in how he shifts in this chapter from darkness to being lighter and caring...

However, let me know what you thought about the preview for chapter 8 :)

Also, let me know if you liked or just plain hated the mature content and want me to cut or censor scenes and I will do it :) I tried to reduce vulgarity, but I am so sorry if it still was there and I will cut those scenes, but just let me know by commenting below or messaging me :)

What do you think about Anika losing her virginity to Shivaay?

What do you think about both of them saying "I love you" while they made love even though the "I love you" holds a different meaning?

Who will fall in love first?

What do you think will happen next?

Will Anika get pregnant is a probable question?

Yes, yes the story will speed up and now shift to Goa for Shivika :) A lot of readers demanded a mature scene for Shivika extending from Chapter 6 Part 2, so I decided to extend it, but the story will be bringing on a speed :)

Yes this is the same Shivika from LTLHA who do not remember their past. I will comment more on this once finishing LTLHA.

Thank you for always being amazing and giving so much love to my stories :)