Amaal pov
I folded my namaz mat after praying the isha prayer and sat near the window , my eyes gazing out the bright moon .

Alyhan knew my secret but the real truth was he only knew half of my past , I was lucky that I only said him half of the story and turned around for response and that's when I realised that the person I was sharing my story with was not arham but alyhan  . alyhan had thought that I was scared of people in the school knowing about my relationship with Curzon and that's why I was doing all his works in return of him keeping my past as secret . Alyhan was right for 50% as I was scared of people knowing about mine and Curzon relationship but more than that ,I was scared for other thing and that was .

Flashback
The relationship between me and Curzon was all good , Curzon was even trying his best in learning Islam , even we had fasted together in the month of Ramadan , at first Curzon couldn't hold his fast till the noon but later on with time ,he learnt to fast and even to do namaz and even a bit to recite the alphabet of Quran .

I once had asked Curzon about how did he got interested in Islam and what made him to know more about the deen when he belonged from a very orthodox Christian family . His sister emma, who was very kind and good to me had once said  about her strict father who hated islam and muslim from his nerve .

"What made you so interested in knowing Islam ?" I had asked him .

" At first I too hated moozlims like my father , I also thought them as criminal and terorist like how my father had described them to me  , but later on when I came across this guy named yacoob in our class , I came to know about really Islam. Yacoob was always calm and unstressed and was really kind and forgiving person , he prayed five times a day and all ways had this wonderful smile on his face even in his hard times , I couldn't figure out how someone can be so calm and helping and forgiving ,like me and my friends together used to make fun of yacoob and even bullied him so many times but what left me guilty and shocked was him helping me to understand the maths problem with a kind smile even when I had insulted him . I was shocked at his behaviour ,it was irritating me that how can someone be so chilled and calm even when someone insulted him.so once when I was paired up with yacoob for a math assignment , one day when we were late completing the assignment ,yacoob was acting odd, he was checking his pocket and the penny he had left and was gazing at the wall clock for every 5 second , I was suspicious by his behaviour and  something inside me wanted to go and check on him so I followed him  . On the way back to his home he buyed some fruits with the money he had and started to walk again , I was closely following him behind and what I saw left me bewildered for a second before touching my heart  , yacoob had kept the fruits on the door of a very old hut like house ,which was really small than our pet homes and knocked and ran away before anybody could see him , I was confused by his action but later on when the old lady came out with a small boy of 5 years behind her , I understood the purpose of yacoob , the lady raised her hands up in supplication at seeing those fruits , her tears rolled down as she prayed with her allah to bless him who had kept this fruit , I didn't know why but for some reason I felt it was most powerful prayer by looking at the lady of how she raised her hands up and prayed from bottom of her heart to yacoob . Tears were stained on my cheeks by seeing how happy the kid was at seeing those fruits , how the mother happily took the packet and went inside . Now I was really curious and I wnated to know more about him so I followed him to his home . His house wasn't small as the old lady house but neither big as our , it was medium sized middle class house  . I saw him enter and after few minutes of waiting out , I knocked on his door , yacoob opened the door and was surprised to see me first but later on welcomed me very  friendly inside  ,he was very much excited to see me at his place that he ran around and brought a chair for me to sit down , he then  goes on what he should get me where I was busy examining his house design . suddenly I heard some  recitation , it was melodious to hear and what made me really love those were the person who was reading it was also translating it in English  , I asked him what it was and he had said that it was his brother reading quran , I then told him on how I followed him and saw his secret act . I didn't knew whether he was shy or embarrassed that he put he head down , he had done a great job but still he didn't liked to talk about it , when I asked him all this , he said he did it only to please his allah and he didn't want any pride in that and even when I asked him about him always forgiving us even when we bullied him , so he said - 'it what my prophet thought me, I follow my prophet sunnah. That day my perspective against Islam was turned and I was more curious to learn this beautiful deen but when I started to learn it was too late as yacoob had left the city and I had no one to talk with regarding Islam and that when you came like s light in my dark hope   " is what Curzon had said me . There was so much interest in his eyes to know Islam that I couldn't stop myself from helping him and falling more in love with him .

I and Curzon dated for long until one day where it was all came to an end . Curzon and I were playing around with eachother while joking when he suddenly pulled me into a room which was allmost empty as all students were gone to home and we both were hanging back to spend more times .

Curzon pulled me close , his hands resting on my both sides of hips . At first I felt uncomfortable as I never felt any male touch me before but then I didn't wanted to say him to take off his hands as I felt it might sound rude .

' just a touch , nothing would happen more, I promise nothing more than that " I said to myself . We talked for around when suddenly a thunder storm barked like a lion , banging against the window .I was too frightened by the sounds that he  pulled me close to him , so close that I could hear his heart Beats .my body felt his hottness , there was some kind of sensation in my body as I was so close to him , so close that his hot breath were fanning my face . His eyes travelled down my lips , I knew what he was thinking , I wanted to resist him but I felt my self weak and the heat was so much that i fell for the temptations and he moved his face closer to climb my lips .

" Curzon I...I ..." I stuttered , I tried to move when he said .

" Please " I was fallen into the trap and gave up when he kissed my lips , it was a super fast kiss but then I felt his cheery taste lips .the rain outside were banging on the window, making no other noise to hear than the rain chattering sounds .

" Cur..cur " I tried to move back when he kissed my collar bone, I felt a chill on my spine , I wanted badly to resist but nothing was coming up my mouth , I felt as if I had lost control over myself "Cu..r..cur .Curzon " I murmured slowly down my breath , it was hard to even pronounce his name as I felt weak . I tried to move out when he looked up into my eyes with dejected eyes , I was lost for those eyes and I couldn't ,but give up .

"Once , nothing would happen "  was the shaytan playing the tricks in my mind and I was too fool to get and fall into the trap of shaytan .

His hands slided on my each shoulder and was to pull down my cardigan when we heard the class door throw open . I immediately backed off from him where my cardigan sticked on the nail on a bench and torn.

We both looked at the door to see principal alan , we both were too shocked and too suprised to react when his eyes travelled at us . His brows furrowed with suspicious at seeing us .he was giving a death glare at Curzon and that's when I turned around and realised that Curzon was holding onto my elbow with force look while it looked like I was trying to escape as I had turned around  , it looked like as if Curzon was trying to abuse me by the position we were in  .

" You both ,into my office now " was all the principal said before closing the door and walking away .

I was trembling with fear by knowing what would be the consequences . Curzon father was called into the school immediately as he was a closed friend of principal alan. Curzon was called first were I was said to wait outside, not knowing what to do , I hitted up my friend skyper number,the only friend I had as she was too a victim of bullies and was my history partner and was nerd like me too.

The first thing she said me after saying everything with her was

" Stay away from that family , deny that your his girlfriend , his father might make your life a hell as he hate moozlims "

" But I can't just let him suffer alone , I can't put all blame on him . The principal thought that Curzon was forcing me where in reality we both were into it , I can't just blame him . I love him Skyper , I can't betray him by saying a no and blaming something that he has nothing to do with " I had cried over the call .

" Amaal ,it's for your best, you don't know about his dad and how powerful he is and you too very well know that if the dating stuff would come out, the girls here would not make it easy for you to live, you would have to drop out , drop all your dreams , all those that you promised your dad . Amaal listen to me and do as I say, it's for your best amaal , if you say that he was forcing then they will close it here itself as it would be about his father reputation and you would be saved or else his father would blame everything on  you  , saying that you tricked his son .you really don't know about his dad . Do as I say "  I was left into deep thought when the peon called me in .

I walked in , and my eyes first layed on the the man who sat at the chair with stren face , his cold look giving the chill on my body, he had  straight out look from villans from those scarry movies .

" Come " the principal called were I walked and stood at the opposite of Curzon .

" This guy here is saying that you both are lovers , is it ? Please do a favor by elaborating everything I saw there " The principal said and that's when I lifted my head up and my eyes meet Curzon .

Curzon lips lifted a bit to a very small smile , a assuring smile , telling me to tell the truth and not be scared of anyone as he was there for me .

" I..him....I..." I panicked when Curzon Father looked straight into my eyes, I felt my soul left my body when his sharp gaze judged me .

' deny ,deny , if you want to complete your dreams then you deny and say that he tried to force you '

" He forced me " I said in a breath and closed my eyes.  My heart beat racing fast in my chest . I was holding tight on the wooden desk when i heard a tight slapping sound . I looked up to see curzom staggering back while holding his cheek . His father moved front to give a another slap where tears rolled down my cheeks.

I was felling a heavy guilty on my chest but then I was helpless .

" You useless and unfaithful idiot" another slap was banged on his cheeks . My heart clenched when he looked at me with betrayed eyes .

" This man will not continue here anymore and thanks Alan for keeping this matter private and solving within ourselves . I really own you for saving my reputation " the old man gave a sharp glance at me before walking away .

Curzon followed his father ,not before giving those hurted look on my way , my heart was torn into pieces but then I couldn't do anything .

" I hope you would let this matter for here itself and it would be great full if you let it stay in this four walls of room .you may go now " I walked out with heavy heart to see Curzon standing out the principal office . His lips rolled up to a sad smirk at seeing me .

" Very great gift you gave me for loving you "

" Curzon....I...I" he cut me off

" For once you would have said a yes and I would have face everything for you , I would have been your shield and would have protected you as you were my girl , but you.." his lips trembled as he looked up at the celing to control himself , his body was shaking and the red hand print on his cheeks were very evident to the naked eyes .

" I loved you amaal but you betrayed me but remember one thing , i will be back "

Flashback end

I left a heavy breath that I was holding for god knows from when . My heart beats raced in 100x pace and my pupils enormoused its size where I felt a  hiatus in my breath .every time remembering his words always gave a mini heart  attack to me .

After trying to breath properly for few minutes , I was back to normal breath .

" I'm sorry Curzon " I cried while burying my face in my hands . I was surely guilt but then I was helpless at that situation .

If alyhan would say about my dating stuff with Curzon to everyone then the principal would know that I was lieing that day and eventually everything would come out and I would be Kicked out the school and would have no future.

Yes I was selfish, I was selfish for my dream , for my promise that I gave to my father of becoming a doctor . If I had accepted everything that day then my career would have been ended .

" Ya allah please forgive me " I cried and cried all night .

*****

A/N - I would like to clear few things here.  As you know Curzon was still a learning Islam and he wasn't completely turned into a muslim and his act here with amaal was normal to him as he was very failure with those touchy games and he wasn't converted at so you can't blame him and for amaal , everyone do mistake and she too did she is also a human and mistake happens so kindly try to understand my point of view through it .

Everyone sins , but best if those who repent.  So repent before it's late and don't forget that everyone make mistakes and sind in life but it doesn't mean that we should stop asking allah forgiveness , know that allah is most forgiving and he will forgive you , don't doubt on his mercy ,repent and turn to allah ❣️☺️

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