teddy's pov:

I knew it was too good to be true.

I never should've- I knew better. I knew better. And I kissed her anyways. Because she was Juniper. So maddeningly Juniper. And once I kissed her, I never wanted to stop kissing her.

And now she was gone.

Well not, gone gone. We were going back to being just friends. How did she put it? Back to normal.

Normal.

Nothing was normal about Juniper. Nothing about how I felt about Juniper was normal. I was the farthest thing from normal you could be.

"Teddy?"

I snapped back to the present, "Er- sorry..." I muttered, running a hand through my hair. I'd nearly forgotten she was in here. Another thing I'd forgotten. Her name. She was blonde, seventh year, something with an R. Riley? No. Renee? Maybe. Rachel. Yes that was it. Rachel.

"Teddy?" She prompted again in a sing song voice, ditzily twirling a blond curl around her finger.

Juniper had dark hair, always kind of messy. Tangled curls as opposed to perfect ones. They were always in her face. My favorite thing to do was tuck a piece of it behind her ear. That made her blush. Or tug at her ponytail to tease her. She hated that, scrunched up her nose every time.

"Yeah- er- what?" I winced. I'd zoned out again "Sorry why are you here again?" Ooh that probably sounded rude. Oops.

She giggled, "You said you'd take me to dinner silly." Rachel leaned towards me, batting her eyelashes. I shuffled back.

Did not remember saying that. Then again, I didn't remember her name either, so memory wasn't the most reliable thing. Regardless, it was definitely not happening. The last thing I wanted to do was go to dinner with this girl. Especially after- ope getting sidetracked again. I grimaced, "Erm- about that..."

"You can't?" Rachel pouted, dragging her nails along my chest. "But the other girl said you were freeeee."

I stooped short, "Wait- what other girl?"

She shrugged, "You know, the clumsy, tomboy one you always hang around with. She's got green eyes and like no fashion sense. Always sort of-"

Oh no. She was talking about Junie. That meant Junie had- oh I didn't even want to think about it. I hated that she had to deal with these girls. It was all my fault. And although she tried to hide it, I knew it bothered her.

That angry rant over holiday was directed at me and we both knew it.

And I hated hurting her. I hated myself for hurting her. But that was why I had to do it. I was getting too close with her. Too attached. Too used to kissing her and thinking about her and- enough. That conversation with James had been a big wake-up call.

I couldn't lose Juniper. I just couldn't. I was vulnerable with her, exposed. It was scary. Commitment is not something I'm meant for, and Juniper didn't deserve- she deserved someone more than me.

Unconsciously, I guess, I'd pushed her away. This was good. It really was. I just didn't expect for it to affect me so much. Usually when girls broke it off I felt relieved. Right now I was feeling anything but relieved. I couldn't quite place the emotion I was suffering from, but I knew one thing for sure. I didn't like it. Not one bit.

I also didn't expect for Juniper to be so... not affected. Like at all. She was almost stoic. I mean, I'd expected like an angry face, or even tear or or two. Something more dramatic. Okay maybe that sounds a little conceited, but- I don't know. It was just so so easy for her to go back like it was nothing.

I guess our thing didn't mean as much to her as it did to me. AAAH! WHAT THE FUCK?! You see that! That right there is dangerous. Dangerous thoughts. Very very dangerous.

Here's another dangerous thought: I'd almost called to her. When she'd walked out the door without a care in the world. I don't even know what I was going to say. This overpowering need to go after her took control of my body. I just wanted her to come back. I wanted to make her stay. I wanted her to want to stay. With me.

See, dangerous.

I didn't though. It was a good thing, too. She hadn't looked back. Not once. I watched her walk all the way up the stairs until I couldn't see her anymore, and she never looked back. I thought she- well...it doesn't matter what I thought.

Oh shit Rachel was still here.

"Er- listen..." I untangled myself from her grasp, pushing her towards the door. "Junie was wrong. I'm not free. In fact. I probably won't be free for a while." It was mean. But I just couldn't deal.

Rachel crossed her arms, frowning, "My friends told me not to go out with you." And with a huff, she slammed the door behind her.

I exhaled, flopping down on my bed.

I already missed her.

super short teddy pov i wrote on a whim

hope you liked :)

xoxo,

colleen