You just want to protect yourself, you selfish kit! 

Blossompaw let in a shivering gasp of icy forest air, letting the frozen wind push her mother's words from her head and carry them away. But her heart was still clenched by frozen claws.

Oakcloud approached her side on silent paws. "We'll be hunting," he decided. 

Frustration rose in Blossompaw's stomach. "We always hunt! Can't we have battle practice just once?"

"I've told you before," Oakcloud meowed, "we'll practice fighting once you can do as you're told."

"Maybe I'd do what you say if you listened to what I want!" she growled, letting her anger warm her body and melt the claws around her heart.

He scoffed with amusement, a glow returning to his eyes as he allowed his worry for Goldenpool to fade. "And why would I do that? I am training you, Blossompaw. Perhaps once you start realizing that, things will get easier for the both of us."

Blossompaw's fur bristled to its full extent, and she braced her legs firmly in the snow, her muscles tightening. "I want to fight," she demanded. For over half a moon, Brookstar had been training her in the Black Forest where the dead she-cat lived, teaching her skills every night. She was desperate to show them to Oakcloud--the moment he saw her fight, he would believe her skills were instinctive, and he would change to completely focus on battle training. In no time, she would become the best in the Clan.

But first, she needed the chance to actually show him.

Oakcloud stared at her for a long time, and she waited with a twitching tail. "One day, your stubbornness will make you a great warrior," he commented.

His words froze Blossompaw, her eyes going wide and her shoulder muscles relaxing slightly. Is he... complimenting me? But... nobody compliments me. Only Brookstar has ever done that... She stared, completely captivated.

Oakcloud stared down at her, his face as regal and unreadable as ever. "But," he continued, his voice still smooth and almost entrancing in the way he spoke, "you must learn when to use it, and when to step down. That will take time, so for now, I will accept a compromise."

"A... compromise?" Slowly, Blossompaw began to again recognize what he was saying. She forced herself out of the tunnel slowly engulfing her, giving her coat a shake of determination. "Yes!" she said firmly.

"Never agree before you know what you're agreeing to," he meowed. "We will fight, but after hunting. Find and catch a squirrel, then we'll see what you can do."

Excitement flared in Blossompaw's stomach, and a soft voice drifted through her mind, comforting and calm like a warm breeze. You did well. Oakcloud has great strength, and his intelligence is unmatched. If he put his skills to better use, he could be one of the greatest warriors the Clans had ever seen. But he has one fatal flaw--he is no leader. He will share his thoughts, his ideas, and he will lead when he has to, but he is not one to stand above others. His place is on the side. Learn from him and grow to become better.

I will, Brookstar! Blossompaw promised, relishing in her friend's words. "Deal!" she answered Oakcloud firmly. "I'll show you how good I am!"

Without hesitation, she rushed off, racing through the forest with snow billowing up into clouds behind her. She didn't even hear Oakcloud on her tail until he was in front of her, forcing her to a stop. She froze, legs tingling, her breath coming fast in the cold air, icy in her throat.

"What? There's no prey near camp, so we need to go farther, right?"

 "Correct," he confirmed, his breath coming out in a cloud around his muzzle. "But, you have to be silent while on your way, or you'll scare any prey in the area. And you must conserve your strength in leaf-bare."

"But that wastes time," Blossompaw argued. "The faster we go, the more prey we catch."

Oakcloud's whiskers twitched. "I don't like wasting time either, but you also need to think everything through. What if a fox had come into the territory? You're going so fast you could run right into it. Or, even worse, you go right by it and don't notice. It follows you and attacks you from behind. Or it follows your trail back to camp. You have to think of every possibility. You must use every sense available to you at all times--rushing in will get you killed, whether hunting or fighting."

"But in battle, you need to strike first," Blossompaw argued.

Oakcloud softly flicked his tail. "In battle, you need to do what is smart. Sometimes, yes, striking first is the better option, it gets you ahead. But what if you rush your opponent and they are faster than you? Any possibility of gaining the upper paw will be lost, and you could be taken down in an instant. And in that charge, if you got too far from your Clanmates, no one will be able to come to your rescue."

Blossompaw turned away from Oakcloud, her ears twitching. She slunk off in search of prey, asking silently, is he right, Brookstar?

A few moments of silence passed, then Brookstar answered, as I said before, take his advice. 

Do you know what I can do to impress him? Blossompaw asked.

She was given nothing but the soft whisper of the wind, and an unsettling feeling instantly began to boil in her stomach. She tried to focus, using all her senses to search through the smell-suffocating snow, but her mind continuously flickered back to her unanswered question.

Brookstar? she asked as she twisted her way through the snow-frozen undergrowth. Are you there? She tried to give her friend enough time to answer, making a conscious effort to keep her tail still, since all it seemed to want to do is flick around anxiously. She could feel Oakcloud's eyes on her fur and it made her skin crawl. She shoved her nose under a bush, letting the snow shower her. The strong flash of cold calmed her for a moment, but it quickly flared again. Her claws impatiently scratched the snow, flexing in and out.

She forced herself to continue on, winding her way through the snowy undergrowth, searching for any sound. And, finally, a soft flutter of wings. She followed it, making sure to keep each step completely silent, despite the impatience quickly settling under her skin. Are you watching, Brookstar? Are you okay?

No answer.

She let out a slow breath, sneaking a look through a dried fern to see a blackbird chewing on some frosted berries, wings fluttering as it jumped back and forth, completely distracted. It would've been an easy catch if there hadn't been a small stretch of clear ground between Blossompaw and the bird. She would have to take a long way around, and she would probably end up being seen, judging by the bird's constant movement.

And besides, she didn't want a blackbird, she wanted a squirrel; she wanted to have battle practice. She took a small step forward, felt her paw touch the snow, and pressed just a little too hard too fast. It crackled softly under her. The bird raised its head, looking alarmed. Out of pure instinct, Blossompaw froze, not even daring to blink. Fly away, she thought.

But then it turned back to the berries, and Blossompaw had to hold her tongue, struggling to hide her frustration. She knew Oakcloud was watching like a hawk. She took a few careful steps around the open space, keeping to the shadows. She slipped carefully under some undergrowth, but let her tail briefly flick up, a wild movement any cat could make in an anxiety-inducing moment like this.

The twigs of the dead plant rattled and without hesitation the bird was fluttering through the air. She hoped beyond anything that her hiss of frustration covered the start of her relieved sigh. "Bad luck," Oakcloud commented tonelessly. She glanced back at him. He stood completely still, fur coated with white powder and eyes entirely unreadable. "After all, every cat makes mistakes sometimes."

His tone made her skin crawl, but she forced herself to stay strong--Brookstar had taught her more than battle skills, she had taught the apprentice to hold herself strong; if she believes she's in the right, others will, too. And so, she hid her fear and uncertainty behind a mask of disappointment of her lost catch, but a tinge of hope. "I'll do better and catch the next one," she promised.

His ear twitched. "Then you'd better get on. We have much to do today."

I agree, she wanted to say, but there a look in his eyes that distracted her. It had been brief, too brief to understand. But it at least showed her there was something under his guarded exterior. She realized with a small shock that he was doing the same thing Brookstar had taught her--hiding thoughts and insecurities with a mask.

Without a word she turned and continued on, tail twitching. She needed to show her strength to Oakcloud. Brookstar, are you back? she asked, continuing to tread deeper into EchoClan territory. Her friend was still eerily silent, and Blossompaw tried to stop sending her thoughts to her friend, knowing she had plenty to do, trying to gain StarClan's favor back. Blossompaw didn't want to annoy her.

But her loneliness continued to grow as she prowled the silent forest. Oakcloud was an ever-present shadow behind her, his eyes watching her every movement. She took a glance upward, spying through the bare branches above; it was past sunhigh, the air still and cold despite the bright glow. They had been out here for longer than she thought--she had been so distracted in her hunt, she only now began to realize the slow hunger beginning to twist her stomach and icy chill in her numbed pads.

And then, finally, she heard it. The small scuttling of paws. She froze, heart beating rapidly, then crouched and slowly made her way around a tree, poking her head around as slowly as she could.

There!

A squirrel, thin but still large in size, was scratching around the roots of a tree, trying to dig through the snow. She could've cursed herself for her ignorance--Boulderclaw and Oakcloud had told her this was a favorite spot of squirrels because in the warm seasons, the tree, a large black oak, dropped constant acorns. 

She wanted to catch the squirrel as quick as possible, but she reminded herself she couldn't risk missing it--it would take much too long to find another. Her stomach growled to remind her that she hadn't eaten since that morning when Dappletail shared her morning prey--Blossompaw didn't know why the elder had done it, perhaps an ulterior motive, but in the moment the apprentice hadn't cared.

Blossompaw forced her mind clear, scanning the area for the best approach point. She decided the bush directly in front of her hiding tree would work well--even without leaves, the twisted branches would cover her pelt with broken shadows and allow her to blend well into the snow. She slunk forward, taking each step with precision, pausing when the squirrel stopped digging and waiting the heart-racing moments in silence until it started again. 

She slipped behind the bush, her breath silent around her muzzle, and circled around until she was almost close enough to bat the squirrel's tail--at the moment, its head was so far into the snow she was pretty sure she could tap it on the shoulder before it realized she was there. She just had to be completely silent as she bunched up her muscles, readying herself for a small but strong leap that would hopefully snap the squirrel's spine so she wouldn't have to draw blood. Her head tucked close to her shoulders, she tested her muscles with a small movement of her shoulders, then dug her claws in as she readied for her leap and--

A branch snapped under a heavy paw.

Blossompaw jumped in surprise at the sharp noise behind her and reacted too late to catch the squirrel--by the time she tried to leap for it, it was already swarming up the black oak's trunk. 

She whipped around to face Oakcloud, who was raising one paw away from the broken sliver of wood in the snow before him. "Oops," he said simply. "Sorry. It's okay, though, right? After all, every cat makes mistakes sometimes." There was a cold glint to his eyes.

Blossompaw's fur bristled. "You did that on purpose?"

He mocked surprise. "Excuse me? I would never sabotage a hunt. It was a mere accident--just like with the blackbird."

Blossompaw was steaming with fury, the biting cold whisked away faster than a rabbit racing the wind. "You're lying! You wanted me to fail the hunt!"

His eyes turned cold, but his voice was calm and controlled. "You should choose your next words carefully--accusing a senior warrior of lying isn't the best option for a young apprentice."

"Then maybe you shouldn't be lying!" she shot back, ignoring the ants that seemed to be crawling over his fur.

Oakcloud just blinked. "I gave you a simple test and you failed--you scared the blackbird away to find a squirrel sooner, that means you cared more about your own gain than the health of your Clanmates."

"I wanted to have plenty of time to practice fighting!" she insisted. My own gain over them... She had to keep her thoughts straight and her legs strong because she felt ready to curl up in the snow and let everything fade away. Once again, her mother's words came back--you just want to protect yourself! Did the entire Clan really think she just wanted to advance her skill for herself? She wanted to become the best warrior to protect them!

Then she noticed Oakcloud's eyes. Underneath that guarded gaze, she swore that for a brief moment, he looked quite sad. "I told you, it was a test, and you failed. If you had tried to catch the blackbird, whether you got it or not, we would've gone straight to battle practice, because you would've shown you cared more for your Clanmates. But you choose to further your own gain. So now, we'll go back to camp, and if you argue, you won't see a single battle session until the snow melts."

"I just--"

"Hush." His meow was calm but firm. "Not a word. You did well with Mossrain, you admitted your wrongs and I was proud, so do it now for me. We are going home, you are going to stay in camp and out of trouble. You will be allowed to eat tonight despite not catching anything, but tomorrow we'll be hunting from sunrise to sundown and you won't argue once. You need to learn to listen, and after that everything will go smoother and quicker. Now come. I want to be with my family."

And when he turned and stalked away, Blossompaw followed in silence.

Every step felt heavy, like she was dragging herself through deep water. His words repeated over and over. She thought back to Maskdapple, her first mentor. No matter what the old warrior said, it never really reached Blossompaw, not in a lasting way. But Oakcloud spoke in such a coldly calm manner it slipped right in and settled deep in her heart. He thought she was selfish, that she worked for herself.

Is that true? she asked. Is it all really for myself? Aren't I trying to help my Clan? She dully watched each pawstep, Oakcloud's tail barely visible, flicking in and out of her view. She never realized how small her paws were. How soft the white fur made them look. She briefly faltered but forced herself on. She didn't want Oakcloud to scold her again.

Brookstar, please answer me. Brookstar was helping her, she knew it. Oakcloud had praised her for one thing--how she treated Mossrain, apologizing instead of fighting like she wanted to. The only reason she had done that is because Brookstar told her too--she didn't understand her friend's softness for medicine cats, but she was hopeful to ask tonight, if her friend visited.

Come back, Brookstar, please. I need you.