Imagine #98: Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Part 4)

Y/N's P.O.V.

"H-hey did I say something wrong, why do you like you're going to cry?" Patrick said immediately after asking me what my name was and he's right...I'm on the brink of crying now.

The guy looked so guilty and I felt bad for that, I shouldn't be like this in front of him. I tried to laugh it off, I swear I really did and thankfully even with all this pain in my chest, I managed too. I was lowly laughing while I wipe my tears away and gave him a nod, finally he smiled at me in relief.

"I'm sorry I'm such a crybaby, I was just starstruck and all. I mean the person I look up to the most in now in front of me." I told him and he kept on smiling at me.

"Naaaw, please don't cry. It's not worth it." He said while cheering me up, he guided me towards the others too while my mind was lost in my thoughts.

'It's worth everything, Patrick.' Is all I can say in my mind.

"Oh come on dude, you made another girl cry!" Joe said happily which distracted from my thoughts and I laughed with them too.

"No, it's not that." I answered humbly.

The five of us just talked for a while there and take some pictures while I try my best not to break down. I swear now that I'm standing next to Patrick, I don't want to go anymore...but it's obvious that he doesn't remember me at all.

"So, you haven't given us your name." he suddenly said with a humble smile and I replied with a shaky smile too.

"Y/N...Y/Full/N." I was really hoping that it could ring a bell in his mind, but nothing...

"Cool name, I really hope we see you again next time we got back here." He said.

"Yeah...I-I hope so too." I replied.

"I think we've seen you before somewhere, I don't know. You look kind of familiar." Suddenly, Pete said that shocked me.

"But yeah, we're seeing a lot of people always, maybe we just saw someone that looks like you." Joe said and you just smiled.

"Yeah, maybe that's it." I replied. "So...thank you, really, for the music and everything..." I started to speak again, but it seems like I was already lost. I'm already saying goodbye to my family before...most especially to Patrick. I couldn't even make sense of what I was saying and I know they are noticing it. "I-I'm sorry if I don't make any sense. I get like this when I'm nervous. I should just go now. Thank you." I continued and then just walked after one last goodbye to them.

"Hey, wait, I'll escort you out." Patrick suddenly caught up with me and walked me towards the door.

Keep the tears in, Y/N. I said to myself while we walk together, I know Patrick was looking at me and I'm trying my best to act normally in there. Finally, we're near to the door and we stopped walking for a while.

"Uhm...Y/N, I...can you, meet me after the concert? I want to talk to you, I mean, if you're free and all. I'm just feeling something when I'm looking at you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not hitting on you or anything okay, I mean...god, how can I put this into words. I'm a married man and –

"Patrick it's okay, I do understand. I'm not taking it the wrong way. Just a talk over a coffee or something..." I answered with a hopeful tone. He's feeling something, maybe just remembering something... I really need to talk to him too.

"Really? Oh thank goodness, just...go to the parking lot after the concert. Please. I'll see you later then." He told me and with a hopeful smile on my face, I nodded at him before going out of the room.

Looks like what I did will not be in vain afterall.

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At least, I was able to enjoy the concert without breaking down in the crowd. All the time I was just staring at Patrick while he performs passionately on the stage. He never changed, really. He's still that guy from my memories, always owning the night with that soul voice of him. It was really an epic night...but what will come next will be more exciting than what I have just watched.

The concert finally ended and I let the crowd dispersed first before I got the chance to sneak into the parking lot. There were many securities but when they saw me, they even gladly guided me towards Patrick. Maybe he already told them that I'll come by. Moments later, I finally saw him again.

"Hey, sorry I took so long. Have to fresh up a bit before going." He said casually.

"It's okay, I understand." I almost said that I know that it was his routine, but that would be so weird if I really did say that. He doesn't know me...I have to remember that.

"So the guys will be going back to the hotel, I already told them that I'm going to get some coffee. So we're good to go." He said cutely that just made me smile.

"Are you sure you'll be alright alone...I mean, just with me in this city?" I asked.

"I trust you and night is better. Not much people is around at this time and it's already late. Let's just find us some café." He answered.

I didn't protest anymore and soon enough we're off. I'm really thankful that no one was recognizing him and he's right, it's late and there're not many people around. After few minutes of walking, we finally arrived at a coffee shop and we managed to make ourselves feel relaxed in there. I can totally see that he's already tired, I have to appreciate his efforts on pushing himself just to talk to me, someone he doesn't even know.

We both ordered coffee and just talked about normal and casual things at first. The usual thing a fangirl would ask her idol, it was a good talk honestly, but I know soon something about my thoughts will be brought up.

"I should really thank you for giving me this opportunity to talk to you like this. It's really an honor." I said formally and Patrick chuckled at me.

"Me too. Didn't even know that you're a funny and relaxing person to be with. And like I said, I was feeling something...like I know you at some point. Are you sure this is the first time you've seen us live?" he asked and I end up staring at him blankly.

How will I answer that? I would be lying if I say yes...before in my memory I was always with them on tour...but if I answered him and told him everything about that...he'll probably think I've gone psycho.

"Hey, you're doing it again. This is why I wanted to talk to you, you're looking at me like you've known me for years. Trust me, Y/N, I don't know how but I can recognize looks and gazes at me. And I know you're looking at me like you know me." I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard his voice and I felt that his hand was over mine.

Looks like I'm cornered now. Let's just hope to all the gods that he'll not call the police or something with what I'm going to tell him.

I suddenly looked down and laughed lowly at myself, pulling away my hand from his.

"Have you...have you ever felt that you were awoken from a sweet, perfect and beautiful dream within a snap of a finger? Like...you thought you are living the best life you can have and then suddenly it turned out like as if it was just an illusion that can be taken away from you in a minute...and the worst part is, the memories stayed with you?" I suddenly murmured, it's like I was talking to myself but I can feel like Patrick was staring at me.

Finally I had the guts to look at him and my tears flowed the moment I did. He looked at me in confusion, but he's really trying to understand me.

"I know you...All of you...you always ask for cereal even if it's lunch, you freaking love your tea, you have so many fedora hat and you still feel like you need more, you even name some of them sometimes, you love your dog so much that you're willing to wake up in the middle of the night just to play with him, you hated barbeque sauce, you really don't like reading music, sometimes you want to be drunk before you go and record some song of yours...those things, it's fresh in my memory. I know you...I just don't know how." I said everything that I can remember about him at the moment. Patrick stared at me in disbelief.

"How did you...--

"You know I'm shocked you're not calling 911 or a psychiatrist at this point." I joked with a low laugh while I continue to look at him. "I have no idea if you'll believe me...no idea if how you're going to look at me after I tell you this. But I...I felt like that I was woken up one day, from a sweet slumber with a perfect dream where you and I are together...for five years. We went to a lot of places, experienced a lot of things together, found out our flaws and abilities with each other, everything. And every memory of all these things remained inside my head. I swear I felt like I came from another dimension and when I woke up here, I feel so lost...things have changed. I was even engaged to someone I didn't even know how I end up with. It's like I've gone crazy." I explained to him while I try not to sob hard.

Silence fell between us after that and I thought he'll walk out now from all of my bullshit, but he didn't, he stayed and gave me the silence so I can calm down.

"Maybe that was the reason why I was having all these feelings." He murmured finally, breaking the silence between us.

"You don't have to believe me if you don't want you. I know you, Trick. You don't want to be rude to anyone. You can think of me as a crazy psycho now." I said while laughing at myself. I probably made a fool of myself in front of him.

"I do believe you. Everything you said...no one will be insane enough to make that up. Besides, you every word was full of emotions...true emotions and I felt them all. You know me and some part of me tell me that I know you too somehow...just a forgotten part of my memory." He said.

I honestly have no idea how to end this conversation...or how to end this at all. I shouldn't be doing this. He's already married, it's not like we're going to be together here...not anymore.

"Do you know something about the multiverse theory? You know, that scientific theory that says every time we have choices to do something, we are creating a lot of other universes where we are going to choose each of the choices, thus concluding that there are infinite alternate timelines around us. Maybe that's really true...maybe I came from I universe where I chose something that made me ending up with you and maybe my soul just got lost in all these multiverses and I end up waking up in here...somewhere where 'us' didn't happen. God, I sound so foolish right now." I said, already giving up with all these thoughts.

I felt Patrick hold my hand again and this time, I looked at it and smiled. Maybe I should just let it go.

"I'm really sorry for making you confused and giving you all these nonsensical thoughts. I should just get me a psychiatrist, or maybe even a neurologist or something. I'm really sorry, Patrick, but thank you. Whether all these memories are true or not, maybe I just needed and outlet and you listening to me was enough." I said sadly to him and he just stared at me. "Thanks for the treat and for this talk, Patrick. I will never ever forget this. And again, whether all those memories are true or not...still...thanks for the memories." I said then I stood up and walked away...just like that.

I thought I'll be fine after that...but maybe, this pain will be unbearable for a long time.

{THANKS FOR READING! DON'T WORRY! TWO MORE PARTS FOR THIS MINI FANFIC!}

photo not mine, credits to owner!!