chapter thirty-five ;; doodled skin
jeongguk's perspective
°☆.。.:*・°☆

The pen effortlessly drew across skin. Black ink shined against tan, a sight that only my eyes could enjoy. A permanent pen held in one hand with an arm held in the other. I held Taehyung's arm by the wrist, and it was close to my body as concentration was brought through the whole scene. A moment to make something unappealing to most pretty once more.

His eyes glazed across everything, from the black ink gliding across his arm with the flick of my hand, to the fairylights that didn't shine any longer. He read the poetry on wrinkled paper, the words that had flown out of my brain, just like the ink onto his bruised skin. They were of sorrow, pain, and anger, some scribbled and others in mastered cursive. Either way, the words correlated in a hard to understand manner. Mastered adjectives for sophisticated synonyms, and descriptions of weakness conjured up of too many nights spent alone.

Taehyung hesitantly grabs the pen from my dainty fingers that shook, although thin and clean lines were still able to be created through the tip. After placing the plastic next to me on the white comforter on my bed, he grabs for my pale hand that was almost translucent from being so white. The name Snow White had been said earlier by the one staring down, and it was a name that I rather enjoyed for myself. His coarse hand loosely grips my own, flipping it to where my palm is uplifted without a word.

Quick eyes scan over the surface with wrinkles of nature and cracks of inflicted. Red seethed through the white, bumps for scabs. Blue thumbtacks were the cause, brushing them up against my fingertips while deeply thinking of what to put down on paper. It had been an accident, my mind putting off the stinging all together while in a perfect moment for writing. The grip I held on his wrist was gone once he moved it away.

Instead of letting go of my forearm, he holds me by the wrist and allows blue thumbtack marks to brush against his lips that used to be so smooth and flawless, now covered in cracks where blood seeped out not too long ago. Taehyung held them against his mouth with closed eyes, mumbling words that were almost impossible to understand.

He looks absolutely stunning through it all, bangs that almost needed to be trimmed falling over his eyelids with a slumped posture. It looked so natural, so like him. I had the urge to reach out and touch his face, to make sure that the one in front of me was in fact real. It was almost as if Taehyung was praying, for that was impossible since he found it useless by now. He told me that he had nothing to pray for.

"My worry over you scares me. Even with new bruises and lost friendship, I can't make myself be mad at you, not for a second." Taehyung whispers, eyes remaining closed and speaking against my fingertips that remained at his mouth, "I have lost many things from being around you, but I come out everyday thanking whatever is up there for still allowing me to have you." He takes in a wavering breath as my own lips begin to tremble, "It's all fluff, a chance that is bound to be met with a bad ending. We're still teenagers, and we're already acting like this with one another."

"It's a perfect time of life to do such things as this. A distraction from ruining our own lives by parties and drugs is the only thing we need, but you're far more than just a distraction." I explain in greater detail.

Taehyung lets out a soft hum, the vibrations running through my fingertips and to my irregular heart beat, "Seokjin started the fight." Taehyung admits, "He was mad at me for leaving you alone." He begins to move the thumb on his unoccupied hand against my thigh, "I was already angered with myself, so my mind did nothing to fight back the urge of punching him. That's exactly what I did. He wanted a fight, so I threw the first punch."

"Tae..."

"You create so much destruction wherever you go, you know that? And for some ungodly reason, it draws me in every single time." Taehyung finally lets his eyelids leave, showing off round and mesmerizing eyes of the color brown. It reminded me of honey against a warm sunset, as they always led to beauty once leaving. There was a smell of alcohol and smoke entertained with his skin and clothing, a scent that I enjoyed more than I should, "An oblivious hurricane, a lost bunny under the name pretty boy." Finally, he places a soft and harmless kiss onto my awaiting fingertips, letting my hand fall back down into my lap.

He doesn't speak anymore, looking away once again and putting his arm out for show. It was a moment that left me dazed and confused, wanting to hear Taehyung speak such words until he can't say another thing, but I stayed silent just like he did and picked up the pen with thin fingers that were no longer shaking. I was claimed an oblivious hurricane, a pretty boy for destruction that drew in others with an ungodly force.

For years, my mind had thought up ideas of people wanting cleanly cut things, no rust or scuffs. They wanted the stars that shined the brightest, not the ones with a weak shimmer that would die out without enough care. But here I was, proven wrong as for some reason, others than just Taehyung wished to be mixed with a force simply idiotic. He knew of Seokjin and Jimin, but he did exactly what I did and hoped for the best. He knew from the very beginning, and he did all he could to conceal me by giving off loving words and actions.

"Was it always a game?" I whisper, glancing up at him. The only view I received was Taehyung's profile as his eyes still did all they could to memorize everything he saw and mouthing the words across my walls.

"No." His eyes still don't meet mine.

"Am I just a trophy?"

"More than that."

"Did you know from the beginning this would happen?"

"I knew that it would be something...but nothing like this."

"Are you mad?"

"Disappointed."

"In what?"

"In myself."

Intricate flowers ran across the entirety of Taehyung's arm. They were cherry blossoms, one of the few things I mastered to doodle without mistakes. Small purple bruises were the pink centers, naturally fading out into tan for the white. He obviously liked the simple yet detailed work, smiling down at it with sad eyes that spoke so much. His hoodie had been discarded, no more way of concealing anything he wanted to hide.

"I never told you cherry blossoms were my favorite, did I?" I whisper to the elder, our eyes finally meeting once more and faces so close it was practically unbearable to have it remain.

"No."

"What's your favorite flower?"

"Orchids." Taehyung faintly speaks before planting a firm kiss.

His lips felt weird and new once more, not used to the slits and bumps littered across them. A faint taste of metal remained, but I didn't think too much about it as an uneasy kind of familiar was brought towards me with opened arms. We both pulled away but for barely a second, quickly and frantically reattaching our lips once more. One week since our last kiss, and it pathetically felt so much longer.

Taehyung's tongue still felt the same, the well known weapon far too amazing to stop. Smacking sounds filling the room, we both breathe heavily through our noses, and I whimper when his teeth bite harshly on my lower lip. Taehyung's hands hesitantly graze my waist and lift me up with such ease to where his lap is now my seat in a straddling position. The elder boy enjoyed having me sit on his lap often, almost as much as he enjoyed licking along and touching my skin. His lips meet my neck, and his tongue draws damp paths.

Teeth graze and nip, earning sounds of such a high pitched octave for satisfaction. I grip onto his shoulders and bunch the fabric, letting my body run fluidly against his. He hums into my neck with a known growl, sending vibrations to run across my body as he pushes me into the bed. A sound of plush bedsheets being aggressively slapped down sounds with a clap, reminding me of the thunder continuing to boom outside.

"T-Tae..." My voice was extremely faint, practically unable to speak as Taehyung's hands were lifting up my shirt to reveal a scarred stomach. The feeling of hips in between my thighs turns into that of ribs as he goes further down, biting on a spot right on my lower abdomen. A trail of saliva had followed down to the area, coating some white scarring with a shiny film.

His hands drag along my legs from ankle to upper thigh, squeezing his fingers into the skin, pinching at the smooth part of my inner thigh before biting down like an animal. This was starkly different than two weeks ago. This was a boy wanting to take and take, and I was ready to give and give.

"Fuck, ngh, T-Tae- Oh." Taehyung sucks a hickey into the sensitive area where my boy shorts ride up.

"Mine." He firmly states, lips still grazing the skin where a hickey forms, and dilated eyes meet mine.

I wanted to give him the world and more.

Taehyung's lips were swollen and set, shining from being covered in saliva that I'm sure had some of mine too. Mine were red and cherry, creating a red sour patch kid flavor with his. He announced the word with a protective tone, and I moaned- whined -loudly once he returned to licking and kissing and biting my stomach. There was no reason for him to hide back the claiming words as all hell had broken loose.

"Yours." I whimper once his nails dig into the sensitive skin on my thighs, "Feels s'good, T-Tae, mm." My back arches harshly up from the bed.

Taehyung's so much rougher now, and I silently praised him for it. No longer was I thin glass or porcelain he was too afraid to properly handle. I had turned from a newly bought car to a used one you didn't care to make a few scuffs on. Taehyung drew down the pale skin, his lips now humming into my thighs again that were trembling under his touch. My whole body was trembling.

A young god, that's how I felt, and that's exactly what I was. The feeling of Taehyung's head being in between my milky thighs was far too much to handle, my head falling back to hit the pillows. His breath is felt against the sensitive skin as a chuckle, letting his lips run up the entirety of my thigh while keeping such intimate eye contact that had me whimpering, moving to softly press wet kisses over my crotch.

He begins to trail back up to my neck after that, picking a spot right underneath my earlobe to abuse. My skin already felt sore and roared with a beautiful flame, but it was the only feeling that I could currently beg for. Another sound escapes my rosy lips as Taehyung drew his teeth together and around my black gauge, lightly tugging down.

"Baby boy, you're so fucking pretty like this." He says with a rasp, my thin hand that was shaking with the rest of my body drawing up to hook around his neck.

I beckoned for Taehyung's lips to stay where they were with my hand, discovering such a sweet spot that had me squirming under the touch, "Euh, y-yes, Tae." My quiet voice whispered with satisfaction, eyes fluttered shut.

As an instinct, my legs tightly enclose around his torso as he powered over me. I was one that was easy to power over, always seeming to enjoy the feeling of someone taking such control. Taehyung was one to take control of situations.

"T-Tae," I frantically speak again as if it's the only word I know. His palm rubbed against my aching cock, cooing into my ear about how beautiful I'd look around it. My heartbeat increased beyond what I thought was possible, driving that anxiety into my bones, and I moaned on reflex. He only continued, letting his index finger skillfully loop under my boxer's waistband.

"M'Love you, princess. Gonna look so beautiful when we're making love, yeah?"

I tried to pull my senses together and stop my hands from shaking too much. I didn't want to disappoint him. I didn't want to make a fool of myself and say no when he's whispering so many love you's in the air, meaning no harm when he begins so slowly pull down my boy shorts.

"I- I," I tried to breath properly, "s-s-stop, please, s-stop." And his hands quickly let go, his whole body leaving the close proximity.

"I- I'm sorry." Taehyung quickly apologizes, sitting back and setting a firm distance between the two of us. It was as if he understood completely and knew exactly what to do, grabbing for his shirt that he pulled off himself, putting it back over his torso to conceal the defined abdomen that was damp with a thin layer of sweat.

"Don't be sorry, it's just- I'm not ready yet." Taehyung nods to the words, a regretful look of understanding.

"I know you aren't, but I still tried to start something." He whispers with an upset tone, letting his face fall into his hands that had been digging into my skin only moments ago, "You were in a weak state, and I was using you. God, I'm such a fucking idiot-"

"No, you're not an idiot, Taehyung." I quickly say, sitting closer to where my small shoulders touched his broad ones, "For- For a moment there, I wanted to start something as well but...but I'm not ready. I want to be in a set and confident state before even thinking about having sex."

"And when that time comes," Taehyung begins with serious eyes, staring straight into my own, "I will make it the best you can ever have, and that's a promise. Jungkook, I never got the opportunity to share my virginity with someone that I truly cared for. In all honesty, my mind wasn't emotionally ready, but my actions said otherwise, and I want you to know that what you did is in no way angering me or disappointing me. If not, it's making me want to work even more for something as big as that."

Tears form, ultimately knowing that I don't deserve the one sitting next me who's beginning to draw my body into his with strong arms that no longer reeked of wanting, "I love you." I whisper into his chest, the words finally coming out as clear as possible with no more room for assumption.

"I love you too." Taehyung whispers back into the top of my head, placing a soft kiss onto my hair and running his hand up and down my back.

----

don't...don't expect any of those types of scenes to get more than that, bc jfc this is the farthest i've ever gone w writing something like this lmaoo. like don't mind me, just kinda feeling hella uncomfortable. (″･ิ_･ิ)っ

idk i felt like u all needed a break from the angst, so here, take this update that i don't even know how to label.

would it be stupid and typical to do anOthEr q&a for 20k??

songs --
•i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it by the 1975
•fallingforyou by the 1975