"You don't have to be perfect for me."
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In hindsight, James should have been at least a little bit careful. He didn't know how or even why this happened but he could take a guess that he was shamelessly staring at Remus from behind both Lily and Peter. With the way the werewolf scrunched up his nose when thinking or concerned, the way his hair seemed to fall perfectly between his eyes or over them, and even the way he absentmindedly rubbed the scars across his bandaged nose with a frown was enough to have James trying to distract himself from walking over in the middle of Transfiguration while everyone was busy taking notes and answering questions.

The first to notice his intense staring that he failed to hide successfully was Lily and to follow along with the scheme of James being a lovesick fool for her, she cleared her throat just as James caught her eye again for the fifth time that day. The red-haired Gryffindor flipped open her textbook, ducking her head to fool everyone into her simply taking notes. This lead to only Peter being the only source that could hide James and his red face. Of course, Lily couldn't have any of that and with a kick to the boy's right leg, he was ducking his head too leaving Remus to notice the way James kept glancing at him out of the corner of his eye.

Right after Minerva dismissed her students, James made a beeline for Lily and as the students filed out the classroom for free period until their next class, the redhead could only give a cheery grin as James rounded the table and stood right in front of her, chewing on the inside of his cheek and looking like he had eaten a hot pepper. Placing the last book in her bag, Lily swung it across her shoulders and finally made eye contact with the red-faced boy.

"Yes?"

"That wasn't funny Evans, not funny at all."

Lily could only hum, gathering whatever books she didn't have in her bag and raising both eyebrows. Studying James's face, she already noticed the way his eyes grew wide and became a brighter mass of hazel whenever Remus was near, she could see the way he was battling with his own emotions on the whole matter, the way he tensed whenever left alone and the way his eyes watered whenever he gave into his thoughts. For a moment, Lily paused biting her lower lip as she mulled over her own thoughts. James Fleamont Potter didn't love her anymore, that much she knew but with her constant rejections, the girl could already guess why James was so reluctant to even accept the fact that he didn't have a 'crush' on Remus but that he was utterly in love with the boy.

Averting her eyes from the boy at her sudden realization, Lily felt her mood dampen as she fixed the strap on her shoulder and tried to organize her thoughts in order to speak. The fifteen-year-old was facing the consequences of her own actions and it seemed to hurt more than she had first anticipated. Breathing in deeply, she masked her pain with another one of her gentle smiles and as her eyes met with James's again, she was more than shocked to notice that they were already watering and that he was biting his lip so bad, blood had started to coat them again.

"You really do love him, don't you?"

It came out by accident, she didn't mean to suddenly say it but watching James freeze up like a deer in headlights, the water that was building up in his eyes falling faster than a waterfall and the way his glasses became blurred, his lips dropped into a wobbly frown and his whole body tensed, Lily cursed herself once more in her mind. Dropping her books back on the table, Lily hesitated with her actions, was it even ok to hug him? She had never seen James cry much or even be as emotional as he was now but maybe that was because he wanted to be strong, feel like he was powerful and emotions didn't matter. Biting her lower lip, the girl simply reached out and ran a comforting hand down the boy's arm-She was afraid, afraid that maybe, just maybe, James would simply break down with all the feelings overriding his own mind. She didn't understand as much but she could guess that a boy who was raised and pampered with his family thought of himself to be stronger than others and just having such complicated feelings probably shattered him.

It was only when James started to wipe at his glasses and eyes again when his shoulders suddenly slumped and his hair hid his face from view that Lily found herself talking without even thinking with her words, a mistake she often made and a mistake that paid with dire consequences.

"You like him that much? Enough to actually cry?"

She cursed herself again when his body stiffened. She didn't mean it in an offensive way, merely shocked and a bit glad that James wasn't just a boy who thought of himself to be perfect among everyone else but the more she looked at him, the more she noticed all his little insecurities. The way he would freeze whenever someone mentioned how much he chased after Lily in first and second year, the way he would hide his face whenever Lily rejected him with a mouthful of words that probably did worse than bruise his ego. Once again, Lily found herself at a loss for words as she cursed herself multiple times in her head. The boy was so full of insecurities that the moment they came to the surface, he was shattered like glass. Broken pieces everywhere until he fixes himself together with glue only to get shattered again and again. By this time, glue is no use anymore, it doesn't work and he can't be fixed.

Gulping the fear and guilt that suddenly washed over her, Lily grabbed the boy's hand and could feel him stiffen even more, almost as if he was expecting Lily to call him 'arrogant', 'bully' or some of the other words she used over the past years. Instead, the guilt-ridden girl simply gave another one of her gentle smiles and pulled him along.

"I'll help you because that's what siblings do."

Lily knew she had many wrongs to correct with James, too many for her to even count but she hoped that maybe, just maybe, the one right thing she does makes justice for all the hurt she was causing.

──⚬⚬⚬⚬⚬──

Lily turned the journal over in her hands, examining the lock that was on the side and the way that it's old and slightly dusty cover was peeling like a banana. The girl had decided to correct one of her wrongs by gifting James a journal, Merlin knows that James would probably die if someone heard him call it a diary, instead Lily opted for calling it a journal of feelings. She wasn't always going to be there whenever James felt like his feelings were trying to murder him and maybe writing them down on paper was more use than her. She stared back down at the pencil she had chosen for the boy to use, as much as she would give him a quill, he wouldn't be able to find ink everywhere he went, plus she had charmed the pencil lead to never break, no matter how much it was pressed on.

Smiling lightly to herself, Lily headed down the corridor, looking around for messy black hair and glasses. The echo of laughter was what brought her to the corner of a wall, watching as Sirius and James both grinned at each other while whoever they were talking to already ran off. The girl waited until Sirius was swept away by some boy who looked like a younger version of James but with blonde hair. She paused before walking forward and thrusting the journal into his grasp.

James opened his mouth to talk but Lily simply shook her head and gestured to the students still walking about. Frowning to himself, James backed up just a bit before beginning to walk away but Lily's relief showed clearly when the boy was smiling from ear to ear. At least he wasn't sad anymore, for now anyway.

──⚬⚬⚬──

It was night by the time James gathered the courage to open the journal. He couldn't tell what time it was but it didn't necessarily matter to him, he had already woken up with the feeling of tears slipping down his face from a very vivid nightmare and he wasn't willing to go through it again. Flipping open the book and making sure his wand was providing enough light, James picked up the pencil and stared at the blank pages for a minute before his hand got to work.

A rustle in the bed next to him made him freeze as the sound of someone planting their feet on the ground had him biting his lip. A low yawn was heard but before he could hide the book, his curtains were pulled open and Sirius's stormy blue eyes were bright as the night sky itself. For a moment, the two stared at each other before Sirius once again yawned and stretched backward.

"I'm probably too tired to understand what's going on but I do know that I'm awake enough to know that your flaws are what make you imperfect, you just have to learn to control them to be perfect."

Late night wisdom from Sirius Black wasn't unusual, not when Sirius trudged back to his bed while mumbling to Peter that he was unique in his own ways before he collapsed back in bed, snoring as he fell into a quick sleep as if he hadn't just been talking. James shook his head, closed and locked the journal and placed it underneath his pillow, yawning himself, he found his eyes drifting towards Remus's bed and his lips twitched upwards, if only a little bit.

He's an imperfect human but that doesn't mean he has to be perfect for me.

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