"Your words are like music; they may fall on deaf ears, but they never fail to touch my heart."

-Elegiac_Damsel

______

9th June

Third person's point of view:

Anindita had returned back on the 6th. Two days had passed by in a blink with her mother's medical check-ups and dialysis session. Since she was scheduled to stay in the country for the remainder of the week, she had typed out a message to Satyaki that read:

"I need to speak to you. In person and if possible in private. This is about your daughter and is important. I am in town this week and I can come and meet you at the hospital too. Let me know. Regards."

Satyaki had replied to her and asked her to meet him at the hospital during his lunch hours i.e., between 2 and 3 p.m.

Anindita was waiting in the hospital lobby at 1.55 p.m. She could see several patients around and felt out of place. The hospital was such an inappropriate place for an informal meeting but given the professional commitments of the two of them, this had to suffice. Satyaki arrived a minute late as he had been held up on the 13th floor by one of his indoor patients.

"Good afternoon Anindita." he greeted her

Anindita greeted him back and asked, "It is your lunch hour, so I wouldn't like it for you to miss your lunch. I am ready to wait some time more if you would like to eat your lunch now. Would you prefer talking later?"

Satyaki shook his head and answered very solemnly, "From the urgency in your message, I am assuming that you have something important to say. And my daughter comes first. So you can carry on with whatever you wanted to convey."

The strange tone and change in his demeanor did not miss Anindita. His mind was surely preoccupied and disturbed due to something. He sounded so straightforward and rude, which was unlike Satyaki. She asked in a hesitant manner, "I know this doesn't concern me. But you seem to be disturbed. What is wrong?"

Satyaki realized at her question that he had unknowingly replied in a cold manner. Cursing himself for letting his disturbed mind control his tone, he apologized, "I am sorry Anindita. I didn't mean to be rude. Actually, I lost one of my patients on the operation table in the morning today. A case of hemorrhagic stroke. I am just a bit distracted. In fact I even cancelled the O.P.D. appointments that I had in the evening."

Anindita muttered a sorry under her breath in reply. "I am sorry. I can come and meet you tomorrow if you want. Since you are already disturbed so..."

Her voice trailed off as Satyaki held up his hand, "Like I told you, I have a free evening. We can talk outside the hospital. If you would just give me 15 minutes, I'll grab my things, sign out and meet you in the parking lot."

She nodded in reply and Satyaki walked away.

...

The two of them drove their respective cars to one of the restaurants nearby. Being outdoors in the afternoon during the summer, in Mumbai wasn't something anyone preferred. Satyaki took his time to order something for his impending lunch while Anindita ordered something vegetarian for herself.

"You are a vegetarian?" Satyaki asked her a bit astonished

She nodded. "Actually, we never ate chicken in our family as it is traditionally forbidden for Brahmins. Apart from this the only fish we eat is freshwater fish which was not easily available in Mumbai. Red meat was too expensive for my family to afford then. So I never had any of these. The only non-vegetarian option which was allowed at home are eggs and I am allergic to eggs. Hence, a Bengali girl turned out to be vegetarian."

Satyaki allowed himself to grin very slightly, "Unimaginable actually! We were never allowed chicken at home either... but I was not very diligent to those rules... so..."

"Happens. My brother did the same as did my cousin sister. Doesn't matter really. As long as your faith is pure, God's not going to mind your eating habits. Anyways, shall we get back to the main agenda of our meeting i.e., your daughter?"

Satyaki shook his head in amusement, his disturbed mind relaxing a bit, "Not much of a talker, are you? Sure though. What is it that you wanted to convey?"

"Your daughter, Agamani and I have become friends now," she began, "and your daughter broke down that day and cried for quite a long time."

"What the hell! What had happened to Dugga? Neither did I notice any change in her behavior nor did she tell me anything. Ki hoechhilo bolo toh (Tell me what had happened)!" he interrupted Anindita, his voice laced with worry and concern

In reply, Anindita proceeded to tell him about his daughter's loneliness at school. She told him about the issues that had surfaced because of her classmates.

"Why did Dugga hide this from me? I could have spoken to her teachers regarding this during the last Parent-Teacher meet. I can't believe this! She actually chose to confide in you but never trusted her father enough." He clenched his fist tightly.

Anindita could make out his frustration at this. His reaction was expected. She smiled and told him what Agamani had told her that day,

 "The problem is that the two of you love each other too much. Tomar meye tomay ei jonne kichu bole ni (your daughter did not tell you anything) because she did not want you to feel more hurt than you already are. Her mother and you were best friends and she knows you are already hurt and in pain because you lost your best friend. She did not want you to give you more pain. This is what she told me, Satyaki. Moreover, your daughter probably confided in me because I am like her in quite a few ways."

Satyaki's shoulders slumped down slightly as he digested the news. School without friends? What remains without them? You need to be sent out of class for talking during lessons quite a few times in school! That is normal life!

Anindita could guess the turmoil his mind was in, she sipped some water from her glass and decided to enlighten him about the plight of the other students in his daughter's class, "Truth be told, your daughter is just one victim. She told me about two of her classmates who..."

Satyaki held his head in his hands once Anindita had finished telling him, "I feel like cursing myself! What you said just made me reevaluate my own childhood! I have teased my classmates too... is this the return I get for my sins? Karma?"

"Don't be incredulous! Almost all of us have either teased some classmate or perhaps even gossiped about them at some point in our lives. It is normal. Incorrect and immoral, yes... but definitely a part of life. I am sure we have enjoyed carefree moments with friends in school and college. I know how ruthlessly we would tease one another. There are pros and cons of teasing. You and I probably realize the pessimistic effects now since we are at the receiving end of the stick." Anindita explained him with finality in her voice

"You asked Dugga to speak to the other two boys in her class right? But shouldn't I go and speak to her teachers once about this? The other children must be dealt with. And what were her teachers doing?" His voice reflected his anger; the anger and resentment he felt at all those who had made his daughter cry 

"If you are asking for my opinion, I would say no, you shouldn't." Anindita replied coolly

Satyaki was genuinely annoyed and confused now, "What do you mean? Those children they made Dugga...."

"They are CHILDREN! They are exactly the same age as your daughter. Their understanding and thoughts are neither mature nor can one expect them to be. You cannot force friendship. Even if they start speaking to your daughter, it might just be out of pity and fear of teachers." Anindita interrupted sharply

What she said was merely a reflection of truth and reality but her words stung Satyaki. He felt helpless!

Anindita continued, "You cannot be there for her always. The blemish she has, she has to carry it all her life. How many mouths can you silence and how many gazes can you avert? I am being very direct with you. She is merely 6 years old; but this is her own battle. You can simply provide her ammunition in terms of support and motivation, you cannot fight on her behalf, Satyaki. The journey of becoming a survivor from a victim is one that she needs to make on her own."

A small duration of silence followed during which the two of them scooped a morsel or two of their food and savored it whilst their minds were immersed in deep thought. Satyaki looked at Anindita intently while she had her gaze focused on the pavement outside. He could sense the strength that the woman had managed to nurture in herself. It almost radiated off her. She had succeeded in coming out of the trauma that could have potentially crippled her. The only thing that bothered him was that she was too closed up and uptight. He felt restless at the fact that he barely knew anything about her. He observed her well for some time, trying to take a peek at her inner self based on her appearance.

A steel band Tissot watch on her right wrist. She was definitely confident and had good taste.

Black formal pumps on her feet. Prim and proper in appearance and well groomed.

Tired and distant eyes with slightly creased forehead. Burdened and worried by something; probably by the piled up thoughts she likes keeping to herself.

Jet black hair, long and slightly graying at the scalp region. Maturing and aging with age. Dignified.

"Why do I feel like you have something that you want to ask me?" Anindita asked facing Satyaki with an intense, interrogative expression, interrupting his trail of thoughts

It took him some time to process her question after her voice brought him back to reality. He replied with a playful grin, "Because I probably have something to ask but am not sure if it would mean intruding your personal space?"

Anindita allowed a small laugh to escape her lips, "Ask away. Like I told you, I don't take offence that easily. In case you ask me anything too personal, I'll chose to not answer."

Reassured, Satyaki decided to take the opportunity of getting to know this intriguing woman.

...

Anindita's point of view:

Satyaki and I were seated at the table in the restaurant. Although, my focus had been on the road and the pavement; I had been entirely aware of his gaze on me. I am good at reading people's expressions and I could read his. He had several unanswered questions on his mind; all of them probably related to me.

I waited for him to ask me what he had on his mind. I have very specified boundaries and under no circumstances is he going to cross that.

"I was curious to know something about you. Perhaps something about your school, college etc.?" he asked me quite hesitantly

"I studied in a private school from first grade to 10th. And preferred a government aided public school for 11th and 12th. I am an alumnus of I.I.T.-Bombay 2012 batch. I have a Bachelors of Technology degree in Aeronautical Engineering." I answered him briefly

"So, you were born and brought up here?"

I nodded in affirmation. Asking me questions and getting to know me is a tedious task that most people either tend to avoid or they give up after a few questions

"You entirely plan on answering only what I ask right? So, I'll ask you more questions at one go. Where did you live? Where do you live now? Something about your family? Hobbies maybe?" he asked me all at once

"I used to live in a chawl  in Ghatkopar. In a one room-kitchen apartment with my older brother and parents. I come from a modest background. After that we shifted to a flat in Nerul, Navi Mumbai after Dada got a job and married. I currently still live in Nerul, Navi Mumbai but in a different flat, with my parents. As for my family, I have my parents here, my older brother, sister in-law and two nephews who live in Massachusetts and you met my cousin sister that day at the hospital. She is there, her husband i.e., my brother in-law and my new nephew or niece. I like reading and keeping to myself. I like flying and I also like to read magazines on flight models and aeronautics. And I am involved with quite a few N.G.O.s which deal with orphans, acid attack survivors etc. But because of my schedule and commitments, I usually get to go and meet them all only twice a year." I answered him in one breath, quite mechanically

Satyaki fixed his gaze on my face and although I usually maintain eye contact with anyone who does this, I chose to look away this time. 

"What do you do when someone looks at you intently? Stares at you in a way that makes you conscious?" he asked me quietly

I took some time to calculate and decide on the right words, "Well, there are three kinds of gazes that people can look at you with: one of curiosity, one of disgust or pity and one which is in between the other two. For anyone who looks at you with disgust or pity, you smile a tight-lipped smile and maintain eye-contact. This reflects your self-confidence and conveys to the other person silently that you are strong and that the last thing you desire or crave is pity. For anyone who looks at you with curiosity, you must smile gently and wholeheartedly. It reaches the other person's conscience. And as for the third type, you simply look them in the eye and acknowledge with a formal smile. Whatever happens, whosoever makes you conscious about your flaw, you must feel proud of your flaw and present it with panache. It will take time to identify the three kinds of gazes. Don't worry, Agamani will learn this too. All in good time. She'll learn that the same way a smile can bring out the good in you, it can also be the greatest non-violent weapon when it comes to tackling the vicious and ruthless society."

...

Satyaki's point of view:

This woman intrigues me. She is an easy person to speak to but she is like a complicated password that takes forever to crack. It is like she has decided that no one would be allowed to venture closer to her after a certain point. 

"Does this principle work at all situations?" I found myself asking her in reply to her simple and defined solution of tackling intruders. I was genuinely impressed by her. Agamani is in good hands but she is becoming like Anindita gradually. She is so closed knit and shut. I particularly began asking Anindita these general questions partially because I want to know her better and partially because I need to understand my daughter's silence which is quite similar to hers. 

Anindita was thoughtful. At length, she lifted her gaze to look into my eyes, "No."

At my inquisitive expression, she sighed and elaborated, "These principles don't work always. To smile in reply, during such situations; you need to feel that smile from within. When you are hurt, when you are bleeding from within due to some reason, when you are shaken, you can never smile with conviction. Your lips will tremble, they will not be able to curve upwards. You will find breaking down easier. Those situations when you are rendered helpless and weak; you simply can't smile."

She spoke in a trance. Almost like she had been transported to a different place. Like she could feel the helpless and hurt emotion that she had described to me. 

It will take me an eternity to decode the woman. She is so strangely knotted. I couldn't think of a way to bring her out of whatever moment she was reliving. 

She exhaled audibly and looked up, her intent gaze boring into mine. Her lips trembled but her voice was steady when she spoke out, "Your daughter will not go through what I did. She will be stronger than anyone else. That is a promise, Satyaki."

...

To be continued...

PUBLISHED ON: 28th April 2020