Dedicated to: _sarcasticpanda

"I don't love a face because at the end of the day when I turn of the lights, it will just be two bodies lying still, with two hearts beating side by side."

-Elegiac_Damsel

_______

7th July

Third person's point of view:

Over the last three days, the rains in Mumbai had become more severe and intense. It hadn't stopped pouring in the last 48 hours. Anindita loved the rain as she had been born during the monsoon, but now that she had to drive a car and fly airplanes, she often cursed the weather for unwanted delays. 

Stranded in the traffic, with her father strapped to the passenger seat, Anindita couldn't even curse to let out the frustration she felt at that moment. The drive to K.D.A.H., Andheri from home that took around 1.5 hours without any traffic was taking over 3 hours and it annoyed her more than ever. 

"Rain, rain go away, come again another day. Sweet Ani needs to move ahead, rain, rain go away." she found herself murmuring to herself while drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, impatiently

Her father heard this and let out a low chuckle. His daughter turned her head slightly and blushed in embarrassment at her kiddish rant!

"You aarree still like aaa babyyy... some....ttimes." she heard him say. Although Agastya's words were slurred, Anindita could still make out the love and fondness in his words

"Yes. You remember Baba how Dada and I would place bowls and buckets on the floor in order to collect rainwater? Ma would become angry with the two of us when we sneaked out of the house to get wet in the rain." she recalled

"Thheee roof had leaakaage." her father stated firmly at the mention of collecting rainwater in utensils. It was more of a compulsion to keep their home from water logging than recreation.

"So what? It was so much fun Baba! In fact that was home. I grew up there. We lived there." she replied. Her father did not bother to reply to her after that. How would she understand his point of view as a father, as the head of their family? Anindita and Anurag as kids had simply seen the leaking roof as a source of entertainment, Agastya had always seen it as his inability to provide his family with a better home. 

"Don't think so much Baba. You gave me the best life I could get." Anindita spoke randomly, at her father's silence. She changed gears and continued driving ahead. 

"I coouuuldn't. Look at yoouu." Agastya replied

Anindita sighed out aloud and pulled the brakes as the traffic light turned red. She turned to face her father and told him firmly, "Are you repulsed by me, Baba? Do you and Ma feel like I am too ugly to be your daughter? I was a beauty before; now I look like a beast, is that why you would stop loving me? I believe that is not the case, so I would like you to know this once and for all. What happened to me is my destiny and I don't care what the world thinks. I will be your daughter always, isn't it Baba? Will you and Ma not love me?"

Agastya nodded earnestly. This was the first time in all these years that he had interacted with his daughter regarding this. Too much had transpired after Anindita's attack and he had been kind of guilty all this while. Like Satyaki, a part of him felt that he could have protected his daughter better.

"What's done, can't be undone Baba. I'll simply request you to not feel otherwise and strain your health." she spoke again and began driving as the signal changed to green

...

Reaching the hospital 15 minutes late, courtesy rain and traffic, Anindita rushed up to the 4th floor with her father in tow, hoping that the doctor was still in. Luck was fortunately on her side and since the last two patients had also been delayed, Satyaki had chosen to extend his O.P.D. hours. Agastya was the last patient on the list and the nurse directed them to enter the cabin at 8.30 p.m. Just as the two of them were about to enter the cabin, a man who was just exiting the chamber caught Anindita's attention. She stood still for a moment. What was he doing there alone? Had anything happened to him? 

Feeling her father pull at her arm, she turned the other way and walked inside leaving the past behind her, yet again. 

She entered and greeted Satyaki with a professional smile, "Good evening doctor. I am here for the follow up like you asked."

"I remember, Ms. Mukherjee. Please take a seat and the reports please." he replied, extending his hand for the reports

Anindita handed him the reports and took a seat next to her father.

"Mr. Mukherjee, could you please come here to the examination table?" 

Anindita looked on as he inspected her father's head and neck. She couldn't really make out what was on. Although she had read the reports, she had obviously been unable to comprehend much of the medical details. 

"Ms. Mukherjee, I would like to speak to you in private. Would you mind stepping outside? You are the last patient tonight, so your father can wait in the cabin for a few minutes without anyone disturbing." Satyaki asked Anindita

"Sure doctor. Baba, just wait in here."

They stepped out of the cabin into the waiting area which was almost empty now.

"Anindita, did your father have any kind of an accident which involved falling?" Satyaki asked her, moving straight to the point

"I... I need to ask Ma. I... I have been neglecting him." she said, flushing in embarrassment, overcome with shame

"It is fine. No one can really supervise anyone 24/7. Anyways, coming to the point. There is a lump at the back of his head and the skin around is dark blue. It is a case of hematoma. It is an intracranial epidural hematoma...." he began

"Satyaki, I have last had interaction with Biology in 10th grade! Please explain in layman's terms." Anindita spoke, frustrated 

"In simple terms, there has been an injury due to which there was internal bleeding. The blood has more or less clotted. Hence this is a hematoma. By the way, losing control on the bladder is one of the symptoms of epidural hematoma."

"What is the treatment doctor?"

"I would suggest a craniotomy to reduce stress and pressure on his brain. It is a surgery. A major one. You can take a second opinion anytime."

"I don't need a second opinion. Just tell me when this surgery should be scheduled and I'll make appropriate arrangements." Anindita said decisively

"This Saturday?" Satyaki asked, unsure

"I'll make the necessary inquiries at the reception. Saturday is fine. Anything we can do pre-surgery?" 

"Just ensure that he takes no unwanted stress and you can apply some ice on the affected area. Most importantly, I want neither you nor anyone from your family to google about this surgery! And let us both go to the billing area, they'll give you an estimate of the amount and the rest of the details related to hospitalization."

They both walked up to the reception and Satyaki spoke to the woman on duty and told her the details of the surgery. Accordingly, the woman drew up an estimate and handed it to Anindita.

Satyaki practically saw all the color draining her face. He was well aware that the amount was certainly not modest, but then Anindita was an earning woman who did not want to compromise with her father's treatment in any way. Moreover everyone had medical insurances nowadays, and....

Then it struck him! Both Apurba and Agastya suffered from chronic, prolonged and persistent illness. No medical insurance would ever cover their treatment.

"I'll get him admitted here on Friday evening. You can go ahead with the surgery on Saturday." Anindita stated quietly

"I need to inform Ma. She cannot travel to and fro everyday and given her own health, she cannot stay here overnight with Baba. I have to request Aparajita to accommodate her for a few days. I'll stay here during Baba's tenure of admission." Anindita began speaking to herself, making a note of everything that she had to do

"Isn't your sister pregnant? Let her be in this condition. Let Apurba Auntie stay at my home with Ma. It isn't very far from the hospital." Satyaki offered 

"No. It is fine. I'll arrange something else; in a hotel maybe."

Satyaki replied, "Stop fretting over this! I just realized why you are more tensed about the amount required for their treatment. You don't have to spend extra for your mother's lodgings. I can assure you that your mother would be alright at my home. For now, just go home, relax your mind a bit and then inform your mother. I'll meet you on Saturday."

...

Saturday

Anindita was distraught. She was worried about the surgery and the lump sum that she had to pay. Her mother was worried and her father was scared. She had got Agastya admitted the previous evening. Apurba had been taken to Satyaki's home and Rohini had been totally welcoming. Agamani was pleased to have her newly acquired grandmother nearby, but Satyaki had told her solemnly that she wasn't to disturb Apurba or Anindita in any way.

The surgery was scheduled to begin in the morning at 11 and Anindita was waiting outside the Operation Theater waiting for Agastya to be taken in. The nurse and ward boy wheeled him in and Satyaki came to speak to Anindita before that.

"As much as I hate to disturb you at the moment, I would have to ask you to sign the consent form and the legal declaration. You know this is the norm right?"

Anindita nodded and signed the forms after skimming through them. 

Her intuition did not warn her of anything negative and her brain simply asked her to be calm. She stayed rooted to her place for an hour or two and paced up and down the corridor in order to stretch her limbs. The surgery went on for about 4 hours and later Agastya was taken back to the assigned ward. He was obviously under the influence of the administered anesthetic. Anindita breathed out a sigh of relief and informed Apurba about the completion of the surgery.

"I'll go and get you here in the evening during the visiting hours. Eat your lunch now and take your medicines, Ma." she told her frantic mother

"I will. You eat something too and I had put in a strip of plain paracetamol in your bag for emergencies."

"Okay. I'll speak to you later."

Anindita waited till Satyaki came out of the O.T. along with the other doctors. She thanked them all politely.

"Where's Auntie? Isn't she coming? Ma was telling me that she had been totally worried." Satyaki inquired about Apurba, once the other doctors went their way

Anindita smiled at that, "She is a bit too protective and worried about Baba. Especially since quite a series of unfortunate incidents followed back then. Thank you by the way for letting Ma stay at your home. It is honestly a relief for me that she isn't wallowing in worry, all alone."

"Oh come on! That is the least I could offer. Dugga was over the moon when she heard Auntie would be staying. It took me a long while to explain her that she ought to be sober and solemn instead of overexcited given the arduous situation." 

"On the contrary, I think you should ask her to interact normally with Ma. That way she would be happy and Ma would also eventually get into better mood with your daughter around." Anindita replied

"I was returning home now, by the way. Come along. I'll be back by 5 p.m. and I can drop you and Auntie here then. Your father is going to be unconscious for at least 3 hours more. Don't worry. Moreover, I'm sure you haven't eaten anything just like your mother." Satyaki stated

Anindita was in a dilemma. She did feel the urge to go to her mother and relax for an hour or so. The last two nights had been sleepless and the visitor's couch where she'd spent the night had been too uncomfortable. 

Satyaki shook his head at her silence, "Just come along. I don't think you want to be admitted here with a drip in your arm, next."

...

Anindita allowed herself to freshen up and relax a bit at Satyaki's home. Apurba had fallen asleep involuntarily. Like her daughter, she had been stressed about the surgery too and that had refrained her from sleeping well at night.

Agamani though awake, had been too wary about approaching Anindita following her father's instructions to behave somberly. 

"Sweetheart, why are you not talking to me?" she asked the little girl, finding her silence a bit odd

"Papa asked me to be quiet." she confessed, innocently

Satyaki sighed, "You know right that not everything I say is supposed to be shared with everyone?"

Anindita laughed at their exchange. 

"You can speak to me anytime, baby. I am never going to be too tired or busy for you." she said fondly

"Can you tell me a story? Please." Agamani asked Anindita, settling down on her lap

Even before Anindita could answer her, Satyaki intervened, "She'll be here for dinner tonight and can narrate you a story then. For now, let her rest awhile. You want Anindita Auntie falling sick?" 

Agamani shook her head vigorously and turned to Anindita, "Auntie, please rest. Wait here, I'll get you a pillow."

And with this, she sprinted away leaving Anindita glaring at Satyaki. 

"When did I say I'll be here for dinner tonight? I will be at the hospital, with Baba."

"I never said you wouldn't be there. Anyways, rest awhile because I am well aware that the couch is too uncomfortable. You still have around an hour in hand."

...

That evening after the visiting hours were over, Anindita drove to Satyaki's home in order to drop Apurba there for the night. Even though she was burdened, remembering Agamani's request for a story, she proceeded to accompany her mother and Satyaki.

"I don't want to eat Ma. Please don't insist." Anindita requested Apurba

"What are you worried about, child? The hospital you admitted your father in looks so posh. Are you worried about cost? What is causing you stress?"

Anindita snapped at her mother, "Ma! Did I say anything about cost? The same way I had no authorization to ask you anything about finance as a kid, you aren't supposed to ask me anything such! I am never going to give you and Baba anything that I cannot afford. Please refrain from asking me this question henceforth."

Apurba abstained from asking anything further as her daughter seemed to be really agitated at the question. She let her be and went to where Rohini was.

"You are worried about cost." she heard Satyaki state

Anindita sighed in annoyance, "Yes I am, but that is not something my parents or anyone else for that matter ought to worry about."

"I didn't mean to pry. Drink some water. It helps this kind of a mood." he replied

Agamani appeared from behind the sofa just then. She had heard Anindita speak in a manner which was similar to her father's tone when he would be stressed or angry. She had sneaked into the kitchen and stolen a bar of chocolate from the refrigerator. Hesitantly, she went to Anindita and asked her to outstretch her palm.

Complying, Anindita felt amused when a small Rs. 5 Five Star found its way onto her palm.

"You look sad. Eat the chocolate, Anindita Auntie. I'll not disturb you in anyway." Agamani said and attempted to walk away, thinking her father would disapprove of this

Anindita smiled and took Agamani in her arms, gently. 

 "Thank you, sweetheart. You had asked me to narrate a story. Shall we now?" she asked the little girl

"Yes, but promise me you'll eat something later?" 

Intertwining her little finger with the girl's, Anindita began with the story that she had been wanting to narrate for quite a while.

"Today, we'll listen to the story of The Beauty and The Beast." 

Agamani settled down on Anindita's lap, her face eager.

"Once upon a time...." Anindita began. The story telling session went on for 20 minutes during which Agamani was fed her dinner by Satyaki. 

"...  and when Belle accepted to marry the Beast, he turned into a handsome prince. He was liberated from the curse and that is how the Beauty and the Beast found happiness and love in one another's company. Belle loved him for reasons beyond his looks. She loved him truly." Anindita completed

Agamani had been listening with rapt attention. Anindita tapped her nose playfully and asked her, "So tell me sweetheart, what do you infer from the story of 'The Beauty and The Beast'?"

The little girl thought silently for a while and then pointing at her burnt skin, replied, "The day I meet a prince, this will disappear?"

Anindita's smile faltered at her conclusion. The girl had utterly misinterpreted the story or perhaps the story had been misleading. Satyaki did not really hear everything but the mention of a 'prince' sure did catch his attention.

"What prince are you talking about Dugga? Stay away from strangers. You aren't going with any prince. You are too young for that. You are not leaving me." 

Anindita glared at him, "Ah! Who's talking about her wedding? I swear you fathers drive us daughters crazy!"

Satyaki shrugged, "I didn't hear everything. Anyways, you can continue speaking to her, but please don't talk about princes and stuff in front of her. I don't want her to dwell in fairy tales."

She waited for Satyaki to leave and then turned to Agamani, "Baby, tell me who according to you is beautiful?"

The girl was pensive for a moment and then she began answering, "Mumma, Jasmine, Snow White, Cinderella, Belle and your picture in your room."

Anindita sucked in a breath at the last name that she mentioned. She asked her next question tactfully, "Tell me one thing, sweetheart. Had the beast remained a beast instead of changing into a prince, shouldn't Belle have married him?"

"I don't know. The beast is scary. The prince is handsome. Belle is beautiful. I want to ask you why did Belle agree to marry the beast?"

Anindita mulled over her question and gave a very precise, calculated reply, "The Beast may not have had a handsome face, but he wasn't bad at heart. Agamani, he cared for Belle and Belle understood his love for her."

"The beast tried to love Belle only because he knew she would make him handsome?"

"No, sweetheart. He genuinely cared for Belle. Such miracles are practically impossible anyways!" Anindita spoke out, losing some of her patience

"This will never go?" Agamani asked her quietly, pointing at her discolored skin again

Anindita made the girl sit on her lap and took Agamani's hand to her face, "This is never going to go. This doesn't define your beauty or mine! You and I are going to remain the same with or without distorted skin. You were asking about the Beast and the prince right? Irrespective of their face and body, they both were the same person at heart! This will never change. I was beautiful before, according to you; my face isn't the same now, but I am the same person. Looks never remain the same, baby. You will change in several ways, physically as you grow. You'll become taller, your face would change, your body will develop more, you'll become more mature, but unlike the Beast, you will always have to carry this with you." She punctuated her statement by touching Agamani's burns. 

Agamani looked like she was ready to cry. Anindita's words reflected nothing less than the unadulterated and utterly bitter truth, something that the little soul had not had any interaction with, up till now. Her little bubble and world of fairy tales and miracles had somehow made her believe that those burns would cease from existing someday. 

Anindita chose to lighten the blow a bit and soothed the quivering 6 year old on her lap, "Shhhh baby. There is no reason in the world for you to cry. You remember what I told you? The stars would stop twinkling if you cry. Your mother would be very sad too. You want her to be sad?"

Agamani shook her head vigorously and bravely wiped her own eyes. Anindita pecked her forehead and asked her to close her eyes.

"What do you see sweetheart?" she asked her 

"My eyes are closed, Auntie. How can I see anything? It's black." she replied innocently

Anindita smiled and took Agamani's hand to the left side of her chest. She saw the little girl's facial expressions scrunching up a bit, in confusion and anticipation. 

"You said that it's dark because you have your eyes closed. Life is always like that at the end of the day, Agamani. Looks cease from having any significance when you turn off the lights at night. In the darkness, nothing matters. You know sweetheart, several people don't have the ability to see, to hear or perhaps even speak, but God has given us all the ability to feel. Do you feel your heart thumping against your chest?"

Agamani nodded her head.

"This vibration can be felt by us all. In the dark, in silence, in turmoil and in solace, as long as the heart beats, you must remember that you are beautiful." Anindita told the girl softly

"And when this stops?" Agamani asked Anindita, opening her eyes

Pulling the innocent soul into her embrace, Anindita whispered softly, "That day, everything would cease to matter."

...

To be continued...

PUBLISHED ON:  27th May 2020

Author's note:

I hope you all are safe and doing well. Do take care of yourselves and your families.

If you like the story, then please do VOTE, COMMENT and SHARE. This would truly mean a lot to me and will be quite encouraging. I will be glad if you take the time to share your views through comments or by directly messaging me. 

With love,

Shubhadittya