DEDICATED TO:  My brother, Rhitam

"Mathematics has linear equations and equivalence relations, but life is all about solving the differential equations and  making do with undefined relations."

-Elegiac_Damsel

______

4th May

Anindita's p.o.v.:

After all  the immigration procedures were over, I got into the company sponsored car that was waiting to take me to Hotel Four Points in New York city. I have to stay for 3 days before flying back on the 7th.  Even though I have enough time to meet Dada anytime in the next 3 days, it is better to go and meet him today as it is a Sunday. Gitanjali Boudi(sister in-law) and Dada would both be at home. 

Right after I kept my luggage and changed after checking in, I grabbed a sandwich from the hotel cafe and left for the railway station. The train from New York to Massachusetts left at 16.00 hours EST and reached Boston at 20:00 hours. 

I had messaged Dada earlier to inform him about me visiting him. This was perhaps the first communication that I had had with him in over a year. 

I hailed a cab from the station and it took me half an hour to reach his place.

Walking up to the front porch, I rang the doorbell with a shaky hand. 

It was opened by my sister in-law.

I managed to greet her with a smile and she ushered me in. Dada was in the living room with the boys; Aryaman,7 and Rhitam, 5. They were playing some video game together, understanding which is way beyond my league. 

"Dada." I called out to him softly

He stood up immediately while the boys looked up and the younger one immediately went and hid behind his father. 

I genuinely felt hurt at his reaction but chose to remain quiet. My own nephew cowers away from me in fear! I tried smiling at the older boy but something choked me. I wasn't meeting him for the first time but he was just two when I met him last. His brother had just been born then. 

"Hi. I am Aryaman and you are?" I was asked by the little guy who spoke with a heavy American accent

Before I could reply, the younger one said, "Big brother, she is the bad, ugly witch from the story Mom narrated us yesterday. She told us that the witch would come to punish you if you did mischief. You stole chocolate from the fridge right?"

The child had obviously no clue what he was saying but his words stung me. I looked at Dada who was still standing silently. As if on cue, he corrected his son,

"She is not a witch, Rhitam! She is your aunt and my sister." 

"Hi. I am Anindita." I introduced myself to them

Aryaman nodded and held out his hand for me to shake.

His action made me smile. At least he didn't think of me as a witch! Rhitam peeked out from his father's side and asked me hesitantly to confirm, "Dad's sister means my aunt?"

I nodded at him earnestly. No matter how my equation with Dada is; the two boys though out of sight from me, Ma and Baba have never really been out of mind or heart. 

Dada stepped forward this time, picking up Rhitam in his arms. 

"How have you been?" 

"I have been fine. Ma wanted me to come here to deliver these to you." I told him opening my handbag to take out the gifts Ma had given me

Dada opened his mouth to say something, but I cut in, "I would have couriered these from NYC but Ma wanted me to give this to you in person. Ma purchased these for the boys' birthdays. I chose to come today at a short notice because it's Sunday and I expected you would be home. I just came for this and maybe to see the boys once." 

Gitanjali Boudi chose to come in then and she took Rhitam from his father's arms and asked Aryaman to follow her for dinner. Dada and I stood silently while the boys left the room.

"I never told you that you can't come and visit us. Neither did Gitanjali. Why are you explaining something that I never asked an explanation for?" he spoke at length

I sighed. Our relation was nothing more than customary obligation owing to the fact that we were born of the same parents. 

"Ma and Baba are doing well. I showed them Aryaman and Rhitam's pictures which you had sent on their birthdays last year. They wanted to gift the two of them a gold chain or something made of gold as is the custom. They asked me to hand it over to Boudi though. I guess the two of them have school in the morning tomorrow, so I'll just give this to her and leave if you would permit."

"Bonu (little sister)..." he began

"Don't call me that, please." I requested him while blinking rapidly in order to suppress the tears that were threatening to fall

"Anindita, the children have their summer vacations on and I know you are aware about it. When did things turn so sour between you and me?" he asked me looking at me straight in the eye

I turned away abruptly. 

"If you come to India anytime soon then please make it a point to inform me once. Ma and Baba are really keen to meet you, Boudi and the boys."

Dada sighed helplessly at my response. He sensed that I was going to keep evading the questions. It was hopeless trying to ask me anything!

...

10 minutes later

Boudi came into the living room with some water for me. I accepted it gratefully as I was really thirsty. 

"Anurag, do I set the table now?" she asked Dada

Dada looked at me inquisitively. I nodded my head in negative.

"Actually Boudi, I was just leaving. Before that I had some work with you."

I zipped open my handbag and rummaged about for the jewelry box that I had popped in right before leaving home. 

"Ma and Baba wanted to bless the boys with something made of gold. The gold chain is for Rhitam and the pendant for Aryaman." I told her handing it over

"Anindita, are you doing this because of me?" Gitanjali Boudi asked 

"No, Boudi. I have nothing against you. I swear. However, I need to leave now. I am already tired and a bit jet lagged due to the flight. I need to return to New York now." I replied with a smile

"Take care Dada, Boudi. And I hope the boys remain well too." I continued when the two of them remained silent 

"Anindita... I..." Dada began when I opened the front door in order to leave

"Differential equations." I spoke out randomly, interrupting him

"Huh?"

"You and I are like two sides of a differential equation. One of us made an error while integrating and that caused the entire equation's solution to become incorrect." I told him meeting his gaze directly

A ghost of my Dada's usual smile appeared on his face, "You still speak in mathematical terms?"

I nodded.

"Yes I do. But the mathematician gave up solving equations and relations, long ago." 

His smile vanished and he fell silent again.

 I walked away leaving him on the doorstep. Alone.

...

Third person's p.o.v.:

Anindita walked away for the second time that day. This time leaving behind her brother; a man who had shared her childhood and her home with. She had her reasons to behave that coldly with her brother but it hurt her equally. There were no trains from Boston to New York so late at night but she had refrained from saying anything about this to her brother or sister in-law.

She booked an Uber to pick her up from a Walmart in the neighborhood so she could return to New York. She had to wait for 7 minutes before the Uber arrived which gave her enough time to purchase a frozen sandwich from the store. Meeting her brother after 3 years had emotionally drained her. When the cab arrived, she had just enough energy to slip into her seat and lean back tired. Her mind began relaxing subconsciously owing to jet lag but then she had to remind herself that falling asleep in a cab was not safe for her. 

She couldn't play on her cell or do anything while moving as she had motion sickness. Hence, the only activity that she could do in order to keep herself awake and occupied was to look out of the window. 

She observed the stars in the clear night sky. Stars and constellations were something she related with her grandparents. She had been a little child of 7 when she had lost her paternal grandfather, her Dadai, someone she was very close to. She had been devastated and upset but her loving brother had suppressed his own pain of being separated from his grandfather and explained her beautifully that their grandfather had become a star in the sky and that he would twinkle only when Anindita smiled. Years later, in 10th grade, she learnt that the twinkling of stars is something that occurs due to the phenomenon of refraction of light.

Stars: something that people associate with lost ones, she reminisced. Her mind unknowingly went to the man in the airport, his words resounding in her ears,

"... I am afraid of death... I don't want to be mourned..."

As unrealistic and stupid as it may sound to anyone listening to his words, Anindita had seen a strange emotion in his eyes. He wasn't afraid of losing his life. He was merely afraid for someone else in his life. The story was incomplete and definitely induced a strange curiosity in her. She felt the need to know his story.

"I wish I could know more. There was something amiss when he spoke. I wish I could solve his life's differential equation." 

Solving an equation in mathematics is easier than living with unbalanced, unsolved and disregarded equations in life: something that Anindita and the stranger both currently have, in abundance.

...

To be continued...

A/N:

I am writing this chapter with the hope that things are gradually returning to normal. I hope all of you are doing well and are healthy. 

I know the story is quite slow right now and that there are several questions that have vague or no answers yet. To anyone who might be feeling curious, all will be revealed, in good time. 

Take care and stay safe.

With love,

Shubhadittya

PUBLISHED ON: 4th April 2020