Written by: aj181890

Reviewed by: jashparikh3

We will start your review in a specific order...

Cover: Somewhat mysterious, somewhat cliche. Those stickers are nicely put up to add that charisma and although the name of the author seems a bit blurred due to the color choice, the background is good. For the cover you get 0.95/1.

Title: Intriguing, simple and mysterious at the same time, you showed both creativity and smartness while coming up with this. But if your story revolves around an invisible girlfriend, the title should have an article added to it making it "The Invisible Girlfriend" . That's not a very big issue though. For this you get 0.85/1.

Description: Okay I must say this a bit harshly, but stop publicizing already! In the entire description only two statements explain what is inside your story. Bragging about victories is okay, but either push it in the end or make your description more unique so that people feel like reading the book. All I got from the description is there's a guy named Edward who suddenly finds out his girlfriend is invisible. While the idea is new, these many details will not help earn you taps on that read button. Remember this one thing : Don't publicize your book, publicize your writing. Write a very decent synopsis with rich language and an intriguing twist, that will make them automatically tap that button. You must have seen that when an author becomes famous his first page before preface often reads : Bestselling author of so and so book or so and so series. They do this so that your mind becomes positive towards that author. For the description you get 0.6/1.

Beginning: You describe your characters, which is splendid. That way you can make your readers visualize the book like a movie. But everywhere you have used Edward was..? I'm sorry but is he supposed to be dead while writing this? I get that the story narration is in past tense but why the description? Even in the further chapters you seem to have errors with tenses. Like When Edward first saw her, obviously he will talk in past tense...but even if she became invisible, her name 'was' Aj? Again you killed her? Then once again when you describe her you use past tense...Why during the course of the story from the time Edward narrates this to when he found her her height changed or what? She IS 5 feet 3 inches still right? If you have trouble with this, try changing your writing style. Like you could make Edward narrate "When my eyes first fell on the beautiful 5 feet 3 inch figure, my eyes were glued by her beauty." There are tons of such mistakes almost every line or every two lines and I can't list them all, so please consider editing the book.

Coming to the plot, it was okayish. It dragged on for a bit too long with poor writing riddled with basic grammar mistakes. The plot is entertaining, sure. But when I look at a novel, this doesn't seem like one. It seems more like something written in a rush. Editing should greatly help you out with the book, if you are taking this review positively then do consider it. I don't know how old you are, but you have a long way to go. For the plot and these aspects you get 0.95/2.

Your total score: 3.35/5.

This book has been reviewed moderately, neither too harshly nor too leniently. For any questions or queries the author may contact me on PM.