Book: Love Me Or Not
Genre: Fanfic
Writer: SaraBala13

Reviewed by non_deficere

Cover/Description:
The book cover is a good fit for A Fanfic, although it doesn't really stand out for me, you might want to look into this, also the fire is obstructing some of the writing, but overall is a good cover.
I like your description, it raised questions and gives enough clues about the plot, I would just suggest for you to edit it a little, especially on the questions part, you add dots instead of question marks, which is ok because the dots add some mystery but you used it in every question which kind of took that feeling away.

The beginning:
I usually write the review while I read the book, but in your book, I had to read it before I wrote the review, because I was confused, I was not following the story properly, I was actually lost with all the names and who was who. The way you wrote this book didn't really allow me to be involved with the storyline as much as I would like to.
You also introduced the characters at the beginning of the second chapter which for me should have been done at the very beginning of the book on a separate chapter.
Also, some sentences are written in Hindi, which didn't help me at all.
But my main obstacle was definitely the lack of description, I understand this is a fanfic book but is still a book, it needs details of the surroundings, and is crucial to your readers have an idea of how the characters are feeling, you are very focused on the characters actions but you don't explain how they feel, or what their surroundings look like, I also felt that the dialogues were too bland and sometimes weren't punctuate correctly.

Detailing/Grammar:
Your book is lacking of emotions and descriptions, there is no much detail at all, you can tell a story, and you can have a perfect plot, but without the details and emotions or views of every character takes that fulfillment away, just like pizza...if you don't add the cheesy part is not as fun :) the detail brings the all story together.
You also should look to editing at some point, but this is not a big issue for me.

Character Development/Plot:
I often forget that I'm a reader as well as a writer, and one thing I forget to do is to read my work, and after you read this review I'll ask you to do that as soon as you have some free time.
The reason behind this is because as writers we have this vision of the story and when we write we are stuck on our own imagination land, but sometimes what makes sense to us and works perfectly in our heads not necessarily makes sense to other people.
When I read your description I was really looking forward to reading your book, but then while reading it, I got lost and with the kind of plot you presented this should have worked, but I felt like I was forcing myself to read it not because you have a bad book, but because I wasn't understanding it completely.
You have to give the proper introduction to your characters, you need to allow your readers to get into your world and get to know those characters, but I felt you were moving the story way too fast, and mixing that with me being lost, didn't really made the best reading experience.

If I was reviewing this book into the competition I would rate it 2.5/5

My view as a reader:
I'm going to be completely honest with you...you have an excellent plot but was the way you presented the book is what made me confused, let me ask you something, is this book only for the Indian community? Because I'm not Indian and I'm not familiar with the story you are basing your fanfic on, neither I'm familiar with the names, traditions or sayings, so you can do two things in my opinion, you can ignore everything i said and keep writing a fanfic that is directed to a specific group of people or you can change things, making sure you introduce the characters properly and write this book with as much detail as possible as well as giving special attention to the grammar and punctuation, so everyone can enjoy your story, because it sounds really great, I just wish I could have understood it more than I did.

I wish you all the best, and if you need anything else give us a shout.

Claudushka ( @non_deficere )