Chapter 32: I'm Not One to Brag But I am Pretty Amazing, Aren't I?

       It was official. I was going to ask my mom if I could be homeschooled from now on. I didn't think I could handle another second in this tortuous school. Not only did I have someone plotting my murder, I was now the biggest third-wheel in the history of third-wheels.

       I never felt like a third-wheel around Lulu and Beau. Even though they were best friends and have been almost their whole life, they never made me feel excluded.

       And now that they were officially dating, I felt like losing my lunch right now. They were just too lovey-dovey and nauseating.

       It was times like this that I wish my boyfriend didn't already graduate high school two years ago.

       Maybe I should start going home for lunch for now on.

       "Okay, I know you two are cute and everything but can you tone down the cuteness just a tiny bit?" I asked Lulu and Beau. "Or a lot? Please, a lot. I'm trying to eat my lunch here."

       Lulu's reply was to stick out her tongue at me. "You're always lovey-dovey with Sawyer. Let me be lovey-dovey with my boyfriend."

       "Uh, there's a huge flaw in that logic," I said. "Name one time where I was lovey-dovey with Sawyer in a way that made you feel like a massive third-wheel." Lulu opened her mouth to reply but I cut her off. "That camping trip doesn't count. You still had Beau so it wasn't like Sawyer and I were making you feel left out."

       Lulu glared at me. "Nobody likes a smart-ass."

       "That's not really me being a smart-ass," I said. "It's just me pointing out how flawed your logic is as to why you think it's okay for you to be all nauseating."

       "You're so annoying," Lulu said. "He's so annoying, isn't he, Beau?"

       Before Beau could even reply, I said, "I'm pretty sure he'll agree with me that you're more annoying."

       "Not true."

       "Uh, it is true. After all, he did warn me to escape this friendship while I had the chance. He wouldn't tell me that if he didn't think you were annoying."

       "He's right," Beau said to Lulu. "I love you and everything but... You are kind of annoying."

       "Wow," Lulu said. "I'm not talking to you again. Both of you. If you two both think that I'm so annoying, why don't you two date instead?"

       "Uh, because I'm straight?" Beau said.

       "And I'm very much in with the hottest guy on the planet, thank you very much," I said. "And I already have one person plotting my murder. I don't need another one, which I definitely will if I date Beau. And you scare me a lot more than Kitty."

       "Do you really think Kitty is planning your murder?" Beau asked. "I mean, she can be very annoying and bitchy but... Murderous?"

       "You should see that way she has been glaring at me ever since I won that cross-country competition," I said. "I 'took' Sawyer from her and now, I took away the cross-country championship. I'm pretty sure she's going to murder me soon."

       "I've been meaning to thank you about that," Lulu said.

       I furrowed my eyebrows. "Thank me? For...?"

       "Uh, for destroying Kitty in the cross-country competition," Lulu said. "I did tell you that I wanted someone to but I didn't know anyone who could do it. I didn't even know you could do it. So thank you, for infuriating Kitty even more. It has been hilarious seeing her lose that competition."

       "Yeah, it is pretty amazing that someone is going to murder me soon."

       "Relax, she's not going to murder you," Lulu said. "Not if I get to her first."

       "Should I be concerned?" Beau asked.

       Lulu patted his shoulder. "Just pretend you don't know anything. It will probably be best for you."

       "You don't have to tell me twice," Beau said.

       All day, Kitty had been only glaring sharply at me. She hadn't once approached me and annoyed me like she always did when she was mad at me, which was often since she couldn't get over the fact that I was dating her ex-boyfriend.

       So I was extremely disappointed when she decided to walk over to our table anyway.

       "Jamie," she said. "I never got to congratulate you for that win in the cross-country competition."

       Despite the bitter tone in her voice, I decided to take her congratulations seriously. "Why, thank you. I am pretty awesome, aren't I?"

       "I didn't say you were awesome," Kitty said. "Your win was just a fluke."

       I shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. We'll see at the next competition. Unless you're too afraid and will back out before you can even compete."

       Kitty's glare turned even icier. "I am not going to let you take another thing away from me."

       Lulu groaned. "Oh, here we go again. Kitty, Jamie did not take Sawyer away from you. You two were broken up long before then, and a good thing too. Sawyer deserved someone better. Someone like Jamie."

       Kitty snorted. "Please. And what does Jamie even know about Sawyer?"

       Lulu was going to answer for me but I cut her off. "Don't bother, Lulu. Clearly, I don't know anything about Sawyer despite him being my best friend and us growing up together before I moved away. It's not like I could know anything about him despite us knowing each other our whole lives."

       "You still don't deserve him," Kitty said.

       "I don't deserve him?" I asked. "I'm sorry, can you remind me who dumped him because he's bisexual? Who did it right before a huge competition? That was you, right? If you ever cared about him, you would have at least waited until after the competition. Now go away."

       "You're not going to win this," Kitty said.

       "I think I already have," I said.

       Kitty gave me one final glare before walking away. 

       "Hey, Lulu, at least there's one person who's more annoying than you," Beau said.

       "Oh, I'm so glad," Lulu said sarcastically.

       "Well, if it's any consolation, I'm sure if you ask Sawyer who's more annoying out of the two of us, he'll say me," I said. 

       "Obviously, because you are the annoying one," Lulu said. "I don't even know why Beau said I am."

       "Probably because it's a thing for someone to be annoying to their significant other," I said. "Otherwise, are you truly dating?"

       "I don't see the logic in that," Beau said.

       "Then are you truly dating Lulu?"

       "Uh... Yes?"

       "You sounded hesitant," I said. "Lulu, your boyfriend is hesitant. I think he wants to break up."

       "Don't you have a boyfriend to bug?" Lulu asked.

       "Yes, but I obviously can't bug him right now considering he's not here right now," I said. "But don't worry, I'll probably bug him as soon as he picks me up."

       I was right.

       I did.

       Right as I got into Sawyer's truck after school finished, I asked, "Want to go bang?"

       "What? No," Sawyer said. "I've got stuff to do at home."

       "I'm stuff. Do me."

       Sawyer chuckled. "Not happening. I'm going to be very busy at home. We're almost done renovating the guest house so I'm helping my dad and Vincent."

       "Speaking of Vincent, did you know that he has a secret girlfriend?" I asked. "Or he likes someone? Either way, there's a girl in his life."

       "You change topics fast, don't you?" Sawyer asked.

       "Yep," I said. "Want to spy on him?"

       "There's not that much spying to do," Sawyer said. "Especially since I just said that he's working on the renovations with my dad right now."

       "Would I have to go live there?" I asked. "Because I like snuggling with you every night."

       Sawyer smiled at me. "I'd be more than happy to have you stay in my room. Oh, and I've been meaning to ask you something. How would you feel about going somewhere special on the weekend?"

       "What is this special place?" I asked.

       "It's a surprise as well," Sawyer said. "So? You up to going?"

       "If it means spending time with you, definitely."

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honestly if i get a boyfriend i'm going to annoy him as much as jamie annoys sawyer ahahahaha

idk what else to write in the author's note and i find it weird not to write anything so stan paint for clear skin