Miss Cotta's Dragon Maid

"Say, Saphron," Zack said. "How would you like to be the main character for a change?"

"Me?" Saphron said. "Wasn't there one where Jaune and I were giant robot pilots?"

"You barely had ten minutes in that," Jaune said.

"I'll throw in your wife too," Zack said.

"Terra?" Saphron said.

"Wonder what this will be about," Ruby said.

Somewhere in a mountain not too far from Argus, a giant eye opened as the sun rose. Several birds flew away from their perch on the creature's snout as it rose up, its head extending over the tree line.

It was a dragon.

The dragon flapped its wings and flew into the air.

"Dragon!" Nora shouted.

"I thought this was about Terra and I?" Saphron said. "What's a dragon got to do with it?"

"Everything," Zack said.

In an apartment building in Argus, a hand reached out to silence an alarm clock. Said hand then went to retrieve the owner's glasses.

"My head hurts," Terra said. "I drank too much."

"Oh, Terra," Saphron sighed.

"Wimp," Qrow scoffed.

"I remember your first hangover," Raven said.

"Who doesn't remember their first hangover?" Tai said.

Salem and Ozpin raised their hands.

"What?" Salem said at the disbelieving looks shot their way.

"That was literally a thousand years ago," Ozpin said.

The dragon flew to the city of Argus, casting a spell to hide itself from human eyes.

"Well, that's concerning," Ironwood said.

"A dragon that can do stealth," Winter said.

"That's terrifying," Clover said.

Terra pulled out a shirt from her closet and got dressed. "Cold!"

The dragon looked down at the city.

"We're with Maid Cade Cozy," a girl dressed as a maid said as she and her friend promoted their business.

"Please stop by."

"We hope you'll visit."

"Oh, one of those cafes," Coco said.

"Those are always fun," Cardin said.

"Blake should work in one," Yang joked.

"Yang!" Blake hissed.

Terra drank some stomach medicine as she prepared to head out for work. "Man... my lower back hurts."

"Such a baby," Saphron said fondly. "She's not even 30."

The dragon landed in front of a very familiar apartment building.

"Ok, what does your wife have to do with a dragon?" Amber asked.

"How should I know!?" Saphron said. And where was she anyway?

Jaune smirked. This was going to be hilarious.

"Today we're running the integration test on that program, huh?" Terra mused as she put on her shoes.

She opened her door, only to be met with a giant dragon's head right outside.

The dragon huffed, growling as Terra struggled not to panic.

"I would have shut the door," Willow admitted.

"Same," Sienna said.

"I would be wondering what drugs I've been doing and if I could get some more," Tyrian said.

"Dragon," Terra thought. "The most powerful creatures there are. An imaginary creation that breathes fire, flies, and sometimes uses magic."

"The stereotypical fantasy dragon," Weiss said.

"This one is all of the above," Zack said.

"So cool!" Whitley said.

The dragon opened its jaw, showing Terra it's large sharp teeth before a glyph appeared and the dragon turned into a blonde-haired girl in a maid costume.

"Tada!" Saphron exclaimed as she landed in front of Terra, who was still wondering if she was still dreaming.

"Or... so I thought."

Everyone right now: -_-:

"Ok, I did not expect that," Sun said.

"I'm a dragon!?" Saphron yelled.

"Your sister is a dragon!?" Pyrrha exclaimed.

"She is now," Jaune said. "A dragon maid to be exact."

"That's not something you see every day," Neptune said.

"Good morning, Miss Cotta," Saphron greeted.

Inside Terra's head, a variety of thoughts flew through it. All having to do with the dragon turned maid in front of her. She eventually settled on this being a dream.

"Good morning," Terra said.

"She's in denial," Junior said.

"Wouldn't you be?" Roman said.

"He has a point," Mercury said.

"I would have been looking for the asshole who was casting the illusion," Emerald said.

"Would it be all right to come in?" Saphron asked.

"Oh, sure, come inside," Terra let her in.

Working Adult Response

"She's surprisingly chill after having just met a dragon who then turned into a maid," Hazel said.

"Well, what else was she expected to do?" Oobleck said.

"A perfectly legitimate adult response," Port said.

The two sat at Terra's kitchen table as Saphron told her why she was here.

"So we met yesterday, and I offered to let you stay here?" Terra asked. "Uh, Miss Saphron? That's what I said?"

"Yes!" Saphron answered.

Saphron nodded. "Sounds about right for her."

"My sister in law is outright bizarre," Jaune said. "I'm telling Adrian that's how you two met when he grows up."

"Don't you dare!" Saphron threatened.

"Strange," Terra thought. "I'm not waking up from this dream. It's not a dream? No, no..."

"Um... Where did we meet?" Terra asked.

"The mountains!" Saphron answered. "We met in the mountains!"

"The mountains?"

Last night, a drunk Terra stumbled into the mountain, where she found a dragon with a sword stuck in its back.

"A dragon?" Terra said.

"Then... Uh..."

"Want to come to my place?" A drunk Terra asked.

Terra realized that this was not a dream.

"I'll never forget those kind words!" Saphron said, sparkles flying off her face. "Please allow me to start working here as your maid!"

"A little roleplay to spice up the bedroom, eh?" Miltia said.

"Naughty maid~" Melanie teased.

Saphron turned atomic red. She didn't need people to know what went on in the Corra-Arc household.

"I don't want to know what goes on in that house of yours that spawned my adorable nephew," Jaune said.

"You can't," Terra said.

"Huh?"

"I don't know if you're a dragon or whatever, but I'm not planning on hiring anyone," Terra said.

"Way to break a dragon's heart," Saphron said.

"Do you even have qualifications to be a maid?" Weiss asked.

"How hard can it be?" Saphron said.

"I wouldn't need any pay!" Saphron bargained.

"No, that's not the problem..." Terra said.

"I can be useful!" Saphron said desperately. "I can turn this entire area into a sea of fire, or curse people to death!"

"Quite the resume," Tyrian nodded. "I would hire her."

"Same," Cinder said.

"Ok, maybe my other self isn't aware what a maid does..." Saphron said.

"I don't know," Ruby said. "Those do sound like useful skills for a maid to have."

"A certain maid in Ronapour would agree," Zack said.

"No, no, no!" Terra said. "Though, why a maid?"

"Because you said a maid would be best!" Saphron answered.

"I did?" Terra looked at one of the calendars adorning her walls. "Oh, right."

"The things you say while drunk off your ass," Vernal said.

"I have a record," Summer said. "On our graduation party and after his 20th shot of whisky, Qrow said..."

"They don't need to know that!?" Qrow interrupted.

Tai and Raven snorted. Oh, that was a good one.

Terra rubbed her head. "I'm sorry I made a promise I can't keep. But I hope you'll understand... I can't change the impossible."

Saphron was very disappointed. "It's absolutely impossible?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

"Understood," Saphron said. "My apologies as well, for dropping in so suddenly."

Terra turned to see a teary Saphron make her way for the door and immediately felt guilty.

"I can't erase this guilt," Terra thought as Saphron grabbed the door handle. "It's not a dream? If it's not a dream, then..."

The clock showed ten minutes to nine. Terra's shift started at nine.

"I'm late?!" Terra yelled. "Saphron!"

Saphron turned around as Terra grabbed her hand.

"Can you fly?!" Terra asked.

Saphron cheered up immediately.

"Well, guess she's hired," Roman said.

Over the city of Argus, Terra screamed in terror as Saphron Airways took her to work.

"Super fast!" Terra yelled.

"Huh? What'd you say?" Saphron asked.

"You're damn fast!" Terra yelled again.

Getting no response, Terra tried something else.

"Guess I'll hire her," she said, more quietly.

"Really?!" Saphron turned her head to face her passenger.

"So you can hear me," Terra said.

"Maybe it won't be so bad to have someone around from now on," Terra thought. "Thinking that way... "

Terra's back acted up.

"This really hits my lower back."

"Be gentler on your employer," Jaune snarked. "She might throw out her back with your lousy flying."

Saphron had steam come out of her ears. Actual steam.

"That was funny," Ruby said.

"It sure was," Zack said. "The next one isn't."

"What's the next one?" Yang asked.

"Angel statues," Zack said. "And a doctor."

"Who?" Watts asked.

"You'll see," Zack said. "And whatever you do, don't blink."